Lowest Ratings EVER!

Well, it's not cold in here. It is It is not cold.

It is cold. I'm dying.

Some boys watch sports. Some boys play sports. These two don't play. Yea, these two boys will save the pennies two by special kaya because they are living in a Cereal boat reviewing cereals? Is there gold, Scott and Andrew living in a Cereal boat?

You're taking some new ones.

And some oah, I'm gonna stop for now. Perfect great, okay, so enough of that. Yeah, all right, so welcome to Serial Killers. This is episode twenty seven.

Oh my gosh, you know what that means?

Twenty seven twenty seven? No, I don't.

It's the twenty seven curse?

What is that? Never heard of it?

Kurt Cobain, Amy Winehouse, who's the famous Jimmy Hendrick?

Should we just stop in this shop? We're gonna die?

All die at twenty seven?

All right, Well, we're both older than twenties. No you're not. How old are you?

I'm twenty eight?

Oh we're we're both older than twenty seven, so we're good.

But I'm saying this is episode twenty seven, so this could be the ceial that kills.

The last one. Right, Well, guys, thanks, for listening to Serial Killers. This is my episode twenty seven with a legacy. Yeah, we went out on top. It was nice. We're like Seinfeld, So classic er new How would you like to start this one, buddy boy? Classic? Good? All right, So I'm just gonna well, listen, I'm gonna call this one classic, and I'm gonna explain to you why.

Oh I'm excited, Doctor Bright.

So back in the eighties, there was a cereal from Quaker called Honey Graham Oh's. There were a bunch of varieties of Oh's cereals. There was an apple centamon, and there was a couple of different ones, and I didn't realize that they went away and Post now puts out Oh's, so it looks the same. Hold on, I'm gonna go into the cereal sack here, so you remember this box, but hold on, let me cover the post because it used to be Quaker.

Yeah, I don't remember the cereal.

You don't. Oh, okay, Well, anyway, it's post Honey Oh's now. And I've been reading online that people think they suck. They came back in like twenty seventeen or eighteen or something like that, and apparently are not like they used to be. I used to like the o's cereals. You probably didn't because I don't know what were you two? Your mom wasn't giving you?

When when would I have had this?

Well, I mean Donna may have been handing them to you in your little sippy cup and you could eat them with your fingers like cheerios.

What's the catch with these? Like, what's the thing?

Well, the thing is there's like good things in the middle. So basically it's an o and they's supposed to be stuff in the middle.

But okay, I have something to say about it.

Go ahead. It looks like bird food in the middle.

Yeah, so what bothers me about circle cereal? And why you shouldn't put anything in the middle. Yeah, it looks like a toilet seed.

It does.

And now there's crap in the middle.

There's little blonde poops in there. All right, Well, let's go and see if post actually did ruin the cereal or not, because I do remember what it tasted like back in the day. These o's are a little bit than I remember these. Yeah, these o's are bigger than these look like calamari. Oh no, they look like small calamarios. Hopefully they don't smell like them too. I mean, you know, they smell like your typical honey gram type cereal.

They smell like the ocean.

Hold on, I'm gonna for my ear up to them. The Mermaid Cereal is calling.

All right, So post Honey O's, I'm just gonna say, I'm not excited for this. This seems bland, blah and like not into it.

I don't think bland would be the word, because I'm sure there's some sort of taste. But let's check it out. I see. But all I can think now is calamari. Yeah, and it's gonna totally.

Skew alright, toilet seats post post.

Honey O's Cereal. I tased coconut, same right. Yeah, they're very crunchy, very crunchy, very sweet. I bet there's coconut in here.

Not. I don't like about it. It has like a strong acidy taste to it, like it's very acidic. You taste that.

No, it's a coconut.

I'm not a fan. This tastes like something I'm gonna be allergic to.

Oh there's molasses in it. Oh great, it's funny. I don't see coconut.

I'm just picturing the person who's making this just standing over a vat of molasses, like micing.

Ma'am, good, honeyos. It must be a really slow process, because you know it's slow as molasses. What I hate you?

Did?

You just spit an O on the microphone. Viamins have covered the whole microphone. There's vitamins and minerals in here, let's see. Hold on, there's ferric or the phosphate.

I love that.

That's a source of iron. Great. There's nia cinamide, love it. Vitamin B three? Why don't they just say vitamin B three? Zinc oxide, thiamin mono trait, that's vitamin B one, calcium panother. I don't want all this. I don't want to eat all these things. Pyrodoxine hydro chloride chloride, great, this is a hydrochloride, some sort of thing with the skull and crossbones on the front of the bottle, probably all right. And folic acid.

I'm gonna give this one two bowls.

I'm gonna go two balls in a spoon. I don't hate it. It's pretty decent. I like the coconut flavor, but there's no coconut in it, so I'm confused.

And it's also a dense cereal. Like that's the best word I could use to describe it. It's a dense cereal. If you eat a whole bowl of this, you're gonna feel way down for the rest of the day and probably right. But on a plus side, the workout your jaw will get just chewing these things along.

I do feel like I gotta work out now. I'm wondering. Is already honey in here? Yeah? There is honey, Okay, milk, corn and honey, palm oil, paprika. Everyone uses paprika extract. There's no coconut. It's weird. You know what, if you like coconut stuff, ye, try the cereal because it tastes like coconut. It is actually really coconuty.

Yeah, so not the best.

No, that was quick. I think. I feel like we got through the first one really fast.

Well, I mean, there wasn't really much to say about.

It, so let's take our time with the second one.

All right, all right, do you have your research.

I've compiled a list for this one.

Oh thank you, doctor being you.

Want to see the cereal first, let me show you the cereal. This is the new one. Okakay, we're both going to vomit. I'm just letting you know that ahead of time. It's going to be so disgusting. I don't care. I like, in my head already I'm saying I don't want to eat this, but I'm going to eat it. Because this one's actually a listener request as well. John Mike Law on Twitter told us that we had to try this. Oh boy, and I showed you a picture

The cereal sat Oh no, why do you do this to us?

It's from the Captain Okay, all right, and it's it's Quaker okay, cotton candy, crist.

Oh no, oh god.

But it's a fun box. So look you can cut all this stuff out on the back and have carnival fun. And there's a strong man competition and a mystery match game. Look at look how much fun is going on here? Yeah, okay, gets trying to distract you from what's inside the box.

If they're trying to take you into the closed off cereal van to take you away here, I've got games and cotton candy.

Now I have to tell you and you will be shocked at this. I don't know if this is true, but I think cap'n Crunch has had the most varieties of any cereal ever, with more than forty five different varieties of Captain Crunch over its lifetime. Could you believe that? No, let me read you this.

List all forty five Yes, I have to.

I'll read it fast. And this is all courtesy of mister breakfast dot com. I love him, love him. Every cereal that's ever existed, He's got it on there and I love it.

Wait, you're really gonna read all forty five years?

I have to because it's remarkable, hil. So, of course, there's original cap'n Crunch in this cotton candy Crunch that we just talked about, in addition Beach Bash Crunch, Blueberry Pancake Crunch, Choco Donuts Crunch, Christmas Crunch, Galactic Crunch, Halloween Crunch, Home Run Crunch, Neutron berry Crunch, orange cream pop crunch that's probably one of your favorites, right, disgusting, Polar Crunch, Red White and Blue Crunch, Soccer Crunch, Vanilla Crunch, Airhead

More from now on. I'm just going to add crunch to things and then you like, yeah, that's well, you do Nberry Slavor.

That's why we say crunch at the end of the show because of the cap'n.

Yeah yeah, yeah, oh well, in.

Any event, that's that is just that's crazy to me. I want neutron berry crunch. First of all, you'll never see any of these ever again. I mean there's like, I think there's three or four of them that are currently out now. We did try the chocolatey berry Crunch.

I went That's Go Wild Crunch, the movie from two thousand and three.

I went to the premiere of that movie. Did you really what were you ten?

I was? I was twelve, twelve or twelve, and I remember that was the first movie they were like marketing in smellovision.

I remember that. Yeah, how funny. I didn't see it, but I remember that.

There's you didn't miss much.

There was a great song from that movie that we used to play a lot, which one. God, I don't remember the Rugrats. There was a rug Yeah, there was a Rugrats song that we played.

All right, Oh the ting tang walla walla bing bang one.

No, that was not a top forty song. It probably was. Oh yeah, I didn't even open it and you could smell it. Oh that's a lot. This is a lot. This is so artificial.

I'm not.

Oh yeah, I look at that big bald letters, artificially flavored sweetened corn and oat cereal crunch. It ties me, captain.

No, no, the cereal gets a nook.

How happy he is.

It's good that he's happy.

Look at his name tag.

I feel like at this point the captin sold himself to some cereal.

Devil he really has horred himself out. Oh yeah, forty five boxes? What a horn? Right, I even't even had forty five boxes? What hey, kids on the capin.

Here's some crapberry crunch.

Oh my god, well that's next. This stuff sticks?

Oh oh no, it's just.

Smells like frosting, berry frosting.

It smells like con candy. So that's a huge plus, Like at least it smells like what it's going to taste like. But at the same time, the thought of putting milk on this doesn't sound good to me, Like nobody like it's like going to like I don't know. When I think of cotton candy, I'm thinking either getting it from like a sports game or going to a fair.

I have an idea. Next time you get cotton candy on one of those cone sticks, you know, poke a hole in the middle, put some milk into the middle, and eat it as you drink milk. But this is where I was going with it.

I'm like, it never would dawn on me to do that, And that's why I'm confused. Biff with sitting at a sports game and was like, I want milkause that can can't we tell you if.

This is good. That could be a new carnival favorite. When we go to the Iowa State Fair, we could have cotton candy with milk.

Well, is there such a thing as cotton candy milk? Is that like a thing?

I hope not.

You have kids, they don't do things.

Cotton candy is the most artificial flavor. It's so gross, all right. Well, you know what, some people must like it. Obviously they made it.

So once the milk is added, it has a whole new smell that doesn't smell good, you know.

And I have to say I always tell my kids don't say things are gross or disgusting, because obviously somebody likes it. That's why they make it. So I just don't care for it. Andrew, I'm not your child, and this is gross. All right, let's see, let's take it.

Here we go, not the worst, not good.

It's strange. I'm gonna say that because my mouth doesn't know what to taste, right.

That's the best point I think it could be said about this cereal.

My mouth wants to taste cotton candy. I don't taste candy, what like cotton candy does? Right?

So true, Then you're just left with whatever a crunchberry is with your your daughter thought a crunchberry was actual fruit.

She did think it was fruit.

Yes, so this is confusing to me because I'm just.

I don't It has a very strange aftertaste, and and oh no, beat it. There's so much sugar today. It just it's it's my arm's tingling again.

I think I think the cereal has some type of a rectile dysfunction. I'll give you, it's just not good. I give this a bowl on a spoon.

I can't give it more than a ball. I get to give it a bowl. That said I wouldn't eat this cereal. I'm sorry, but I feel like you failed on this one.

Maybe if I were really again high, yeah, this would be like, oh my god, I taste the can candy because I'm not.

I mean, there's plenty on the list that I'd love to try. Like Vanilli crunch sounds really cool.

No, no, oh, vanilla cereal doesn't sound appealing to me. It's the most honest, I love vanilla ice cream. Yeah, but again, boil it down and put it in like a shape like you saw in the Drumstick Cereal. We had a couple episodes ago I'm dizzy. Well again, this is your fault. No one is telling you. Did you eat the whole thing?

Oh? No, I didn't. There's no way.

This is too much.

It really, I'm over it.

You just left with a crunchberry and it's like again, the crunchberry has no taste. No one's going into a crunchberry cereal and being like, oh my god, the taste.

Is so good.

You go in for the artificial flavor. So when you wipe away the artificial flavor and just leave cotton candy, it's gross.

What are you doing with your hands? I think I might fly. I'm gonna take off. Listen, I'm sweating hot. And here's a weird question.

No, it's not because I'm wearing a jacket and it's the middle of the summer and I'm wearing a jacket. Oh here's a question. Yes, what's worse for you? The honey o's or the cotton candy crunch? Can you check the nutrition facts?

I don't even know how to tell. They're both full of sugar. For one whatever, second ingredient sugar, second ingredient sugar. I don't know what's the worst thing in a fat sugar serving size? Cholesterol's no clutter, the serving size and chi one cup on honey ohs and one and a quarter cup on cotton candy crunch. I mean, I don't know what you want me to look at. You want me to look at the sugar check the calories. Which one's worse, Well, cotton candy crunch. No cotton candy crunch is better.

That's hysterical to me.

Yeah, so I don't know. I means it's not good for you. I know we're gonna have to do a bonus box. I gotta clean the palate, I gotta get it out, and I'm actually this is going to be a somewhat healthy box. I got it from the you know, the if you go all the way to the right of all the crab cereal, there's like the Kashi and all those other brands on the right. So I found this one on the right, and it is a national brand. The brand is Barbara's. I don't know if you've ever seen it before, Barbara's.

She's that's a cereal.

That's a cereal. It actually you can get it all across the country. They probably sell it actually in whole foods, but I would never shop at Whole Foods because no, but I'm gonna go down to the cereal sack. Puffins. I'm sure you've seen these before. You probably just didn't realize that Barbara made them. No, since nineteen seventy one, Barber's been in the cereal business, you know that?

Is she just by herself?

I think so she's a widower. I don't know. I have no idea. I'm sorry, Barbara the dorkest backstory. Well, it is the pill because it's the twenty seventh episode. Someone had to die true Barbara's husband. Alright, No, I honestly, I don't know. Barbara. She might be dead alive. I have no idea. Since it was founded in seventy one, she's probably not with us anymore. But I don't know. So they are grim They make multi grain version, which is gluten free regular cereal. Did you know that? Oh,

Yeah well this was one of them.

This is not one of the ones that he pictured. But oh that bag opens really easy. So is that bad? I don't know. I feel like maybe it's not sealed.

So well, it's a healthy, earth conscious cereal. So the bag is meant to just be.

Because it just disintegrade, so it doesn't kill any fish.

You're not killing any puffins with these bags today, all right, The look they look like they should have something in the middle.

Here, take one, just take a puff in? Right. Oh yeah, it looks like there should be like filling in the middle, Like I like the smell. There should be chocolate in the middle or marshmellow filling.

I know this is gonna sound really weird, but like smelling it. I picture like Barber's woodsy cabin.

And she's like, I'm made to the cereal in her log cabin that she built with her bare hands.

Earthy.

Okay, so we're not gonna get cinnamon toa's crunch here, no, okay.

But I'm in but you know what this feels like? Barbara made this puffin piece for me.

Oh so she baked it for you? Oh yeah, okay, may be dead now, but in small batches.

Barbara made a whole stockpile of the recipe.

All right, you ready? Well, I hope you don't have any cotton candy on the spoon. It didn't change spoons one two think okay.

Ugh.

Even though it's a brand new fresh box that's good till twenty twenty, it tastes a good stale and somebody just dumped like we just did the cinnamon challenge. I can't breathe. Oh my god, I need work cotton candy cereal. This is wrong, Barbara, who ets this? Why would anybody want to be healthy? Oh?

It just tastes like an entire cinnamon stick? Like who shoes on this?

This is so awful? Are they supposed to be crunchy?

And again, going back to that earthy taste I was talking about, it tastes like someone literally picked up a chunk of grass and then put cinnamon on top of it and was like, would you like this?

An old woman named Barbara would make this. It's like fresh baked out of the oven because it's soft, it's not crunchy. No, bye, Barbara, I'm gonna give you a spoon. At you get a spoon. Wait, I'm gonna try again. Go ahead. Maybe the milk softened it up a breah.

Yeah, yeah, maybe softer. It'll taste better.

No, it tastes like the woods.

Right.

I can't believe we just ate more, Barbara, you bath there? Oh my goodness, Oh my god. Wow, wait look at it. Look there's a whole spoonful of cinnamon on the back.

You shouldn't.

I don't like this at all.

While saving one little tree may not seem to be a big deal, Barbara's knows it's the little things that can add up to a bigger impact.

Huh yeah, in my ass, that's terrible.

Barbara's was founded by a teenager who believed that cereal could be made with the most wholesome ingredients and just enough sweetness to make it tasty to kids.

Well, here's the thing. If she was a teenager in nineteen seventy one, she's probably still alive. So let's go find her and shove some cotton candy cap'n crunched out of his face.

If Barbara is saying she was a teenager when she made this. Did she Benjamin button it? And she's actually like a seventy year old woman in a teenager's body. Hilarious because there's no way like someone in the seventies or eighties, because most of these cereals that were eating were founded in the seventies and eighties, and they're full of sugar. Barbara must have been from the twenties. Just had a young face and was like, kyah, I'm a teen.

I also never saw Benjamin button.

He ages backwards.

Oh okay, I got so.

He starts off like he's out of the womb.

Wait.

Yeah, he comes out of the womb as like an old guy.

Then he ate right, Okay, I have a giant chunk of cinnamon just sitting in the back of my throat. It's only five grams of sugar. That's why it's so awful.

It's disgusting.

All right, Well, here you go. This is like one of the first cereals where sugar is not the second ingredient.

I give this a bowl.

Okay, not good? Oh wait a second. This is manufactured for the Weeda Bix company. Now Weeda Bix is a cereal that I see in the supermarket. It's on the healthy side. I'm gonna bring that in. We're gonna try that one because I see it all the time. It's a product of Canada, freaking Canadians, Canadian Barbara. All right, so a spoon for me and a bowl from you.

But let's see there's other flavors.

I read them already. You weren't listening, Oh you did?

Yeah, multi green original and peanut butter.

So that was a feil? Can I just say the peanut butter one? I had it in my hand.

Barbara probably threw a pound of peanut butter in there.

I had it in my hand. Maybe we'll get that in here one day. Just for what I was gonna say, Brownward and giggles. I don't want to have to put an explicit on this, so you don't know that saying no, Scott, I don't know what it could mean. All Right, we gotta go. Thank you for listening to Serial Killers, episode twenty six, seat episode twenty You need to go home. I got problems. It's episode twenty seven and my brain is not functioning. Barbara almost killed us, she really did.

We love the bird, just the box.

Yeah, exactly. We should knock them all off the shelf when we go to the supermarket, all of them.

That's like something a viral trend that like millennial kids.

Do, so record me. I'll do it. I'm not saying you should, seeing those kids are tools. All right, Well, thank you for listening to Serial Killers. This has been episode twenty seven.

We almost died but we didn't.

But we're still here, so there will be a twenty eight. God willing. Please follow us on Twitter serial Killers PC. That is Sereal with the C. We love you, We thank you for listening to us.

That's Scottie Bee on Twitter and Instagram. I'm Andrew Pug on Twitter and Instagram. Make sure you hit the subscribe button wherever you're listening to this podcast right now. We release new episodes every Monday and Friday. If you press subscribe, guess what, The episodes just pop up in your podcast app. So that's fantastic. Yeah, and if you love this show, give us five stars, or give us any rating for that matter, because we really like to hear your feedback.

Just don't rate the show based on the puffin cereal because that's just terrible. No, let's just say smush, because this one didn't even crunch. It just smushed.

Well, we should say crunch. And then in our funny little after bit that we.

Oh, I got you. Maybe Barbara will hear the end of this podcast, I just say, damn, I need my cereal to crunch, and she'll change the form. It's some old woman named Barbara to be listening right now, like they're talking about my puffin cereal. All right, we're just going on way too long. Thank you for listening to Serial Killers. Thank you Barbara, And until next time, crunch or should you sayush