It’s Not a Cookie…It’s Cereal!

All right, welcome to Serial Killers number seventeen, Yes, seventeen, and guess who's here joining. Oh I'm Scotty B. That's Andrew there. This is Serial Killers, and Gandhi is here making a special guest appearance.

There.

I'm sad that you guys waited seventeen episodes to invite me, but that's fine.

Well, you have to come up with a cute thing for seventeen because I do dumb things like number twelve was the Dirty dozen, thirteen was I don't know the bar mitzvah. Fifteen was our keen Sanira seventeen.

You can see it rated oar movie.

Okay, oh, hold on, let's start with this. Okay. So that's Dave Brodie made us to intros and that's one of them. Okay, you know that was the song Thriller.

I did know. I did know that it was thriller. I just was expecting it to rhyme.

So it gets there. Oh, it just takes about two minutes and then by the time it's over, the cereals soggy. All the other stuff.

Well, like I promised, episode seventeen is all about cookie. So this is the Chocolate Chip Cookie Challenge. And to my knowledge, there's only two cereals that are chocolate chip cookie e Okay, I can name one of them.

What Cookie Crisp?

Okay? Can you name the other? It's a new one.

It's Chip's a Hoy type of thing.

Ding ding ding?

Did I say I wanted the chips a Hoy one? I feel like maybe you mentioned it on a past episode.

And I was like, oh, I want that, Yes, because it's one of the new post cereals that they have of every brand. So we did Nutter butter. They have nil awayfer and bananas, which I'm not sure if we're gonna try.

I would like that you would I would like to try it.

Okay, well maybe we will.

So here comes the part of the episode Gandhi where Scott plays an old theme song to something I have no idea what it is, and then he'll ask you a random fact like did you know what color the wolf was? And the cookie cris commercial? Oh, and it's the most random thing.

But I'm not going to ask you. I'm going to tell you because I know you don't know what it is. So anyway, Crisp, Okay, we'll go cook Cookie Crisp first, because that's the classic let me grab it out the bag by Cereal Sack. So here from Oh my goodness, there's a note on this one. It's from my wife.

The note says, I thought you don't eat cookies and cake question mark question mark? Hmmm two ten?

Okay, Well, in episode Sweet sixteen, I mentioned how I don't eat cookies or pastries or donuts or anything like that because I almost died one time. And so I guess my wife is saying that these are cookies, but they're not because they're cereal. And to prove that, let me play you an old commercial. So I have to tell you that Cookie Crisp started. It was probably the late seventies by cereal maker Rosston Purina that no longer exists. We discussed that in the last episode. And then dog

Kids Kids Cookies for Breakfast. I love Cookie why didn't you say so? Oh, you can't have cookies for breakfast, but you can't have Poi brisks. You can have that crunchy cooking face with lots of traumity little cooking, but it's a cereal and part of a complete breakfast.

So just remember this. No, you can't have cookies for breakfasts. You can't have cookie cook crisp cereal. You can have cookie crist See, they're not cookies.

Guess what what the wizard lied to you? No, you're didn't cookies for breakfasts.

Okay, well, then hilly cookies. A little bit later on, in around nineteen eighty or so, the cookie cop was introduced, and the cookie cook You have to remember the guys with the little bandit things in their eyes. You don't even remember that. How young are you two?

No?

I know you just cited the seventies like we were alive.

I was.

Every episode. You have to wait till he mentions a song. Do you remember the song within.

The cook What are you doing scratching like cop?

He's trying to see I love.

Cookie crust anyway, So the cookie crip cook, the cookie crook, always tried to steal the cookie Crisp. Then the Cookie cop came and saved it so the kids could eat it. No, damn it you but the questions there are commercials from your okay fine nineteen Childhood nineteen ninety seven, Rawston Purina ceased to exist and sold it to General Mills. So then came what the hell was the name Chip? It

And now the it's the one that goes Cookie Crisp.

He's frightening. I don't think he's frightening, but I look on the back though, he's He's like, why is the tricks rabbit there? Is he gonna eat the rabbit?

Yeah? I mean maybe he does, like a bump of cocaine. And then seat Cookie cris Like, I'm not gonna judge Chip's life.

I think that we've talked about mascots enough. We're already six minutes in and we haven't tried a damn thing. Let's get to cookies.

Wait, do you know what the what was it? What was the one that we reviewed on the last episode, it was this Grade sixteen. Yes, I like that you're referring to it as that.

And it was honeybunn and donuts.

Okay, No, it wasn't that one there. What's the one who has Wendell?

Oh a cinema toast crunch. Wendell was the baker?

Oh? Oh did you know that? Because Scott hyped it up, He's like, oh, everyone knows the baker. Guess what his name was? And I'm like, oh, who played the baker? It must have been a famous actor. He goes Wendell.

But then but then I played mister Wendell and he was like, what's this mister Wendell from Arrested Development, mister wende Yeah.

So you did better than me. I did not know the song.

I know the song?

All right.

How are you enjoying your time on our podcast so far?

I'm gonna be completely honest, this has been some of my favorite seven minutes ever.

You're lying, I love it. Would you like to use milk or half and half in this episode? Milk milk, babe, one percent milk, because that's where we are now. No more skim milk. Okay, the percentage of the milk actually changed the consistency of the cereal.

You know it really are like a scientist.

Well, I mean the thinner the milk, the creddy or the milk is you know you need like thick milk for good cereal milk. That's so disgusting. Ganda just pulled her gum out of her mouth and put it on the side of her cup.

It did, So this is going to be some spearmint cookie cris for you fil.

Drinking it out of the side, all right, so you're ready.

I love the smell of cookie crist smells good.

They did change the recipe in ninety seven when General Mills bought them. They changed the recipe. So this doesn't taste like your childhood, although you were a child in ninety seven, damn it, I wasn't.

Okay, sorry, wine two things right, m hm hmm yep.

Knough club, This tastes exactly like my childhood.

Yep, I agree, so good.

Not like mine because I was a child before nineteen ninety seven.

Did they put like gasoline in it in the eighties?

Yeah, our snack in a little bit of wrap.

There were lots of carcinogens in it before they changed the recipe.

I mean the company came a dog food company.

Did you see bits of bubble or they would dumping the by products on the cookie crisp?

This is good.

I like it.

Do you know our rating scale, nor So, a bowl is like a full star, a spoon is like a half a star, and it.

Goes up to five balls, so you can do like three bowls in a spoon four bowls.

You know, this gets four bowls from me.

I'm going to give it four bowls and a spoon.

And four bowls from me. What would be a five bowler for you? Like, what's your favorite? Oh my god, I have to have this cereal.

It would probably be this one, but I want to hold out because I never like to commit to something all the way. Okay, yeah, there might be better in the world. I don't know. Haven't tried the other one yet.

You know, there's a hint of brown to the milk, which I like because that means there's a little bit of cocoa.

In there, like my skin.

So I'm going to reach into my ceral sack and pull out the new cereal on this episode. And this is new from post original chips. Ahoy Cereal now Oh yeah. Now, if you look at the pictures on the front of the boxes, they look exactly the same. They do exactly the same. So there's some like fooling going on here.

Is that what you say? They done?

Did a goof Yes, yeah, done, goof chips. If you love chocolate chip cookies, and seriously, who doesn't try this chip off the old block, start your day with a cereal celebration that puts the taste of America's favorite chocolate chip cookie right into your breakfast ball.

I want the one vegan listening right now to go. I don't like chocolate chip cookies.

Oh it smells like maple sniff right.

Oh well, this is off to a rough start.

It hit me as soon as I opened it. But and I'll tell you one thing. They look different in the cup, so on the box they look identical, but they're definitely different. They do look like little chips away cookies, but they smell overpoweringly. No, you're throwing that cup out. You can use the same spoon, but I'm not letting you use the same cut because the milk will taint it.

Oh. Also, don't feel obligated to finish the whole. You have to he pours such giant amounts.

I Miami poor.

I don't finish it, and then but he does every single bowl.

Oh so this is what's going on with the two ten?

Yeah, okay, do we have to let people know what's going on there?

Oh yeah?

In a nutshell, I'm a fatty, fatty two by four. Well not really, not even a little. No, so my weight teeters around two o five. So Andrew left these envelopes on my desk. If I get up to two ten, I get a special present. I'm not sure what's in there. I think there's a hot, open turkey sandwich in there. You're eating it? Why are you eating it? You're eating it? You're too ten?

No, no, I can tell you exactly what this tastes like. Oh god, no, I don't want to do it now. It tastes like sliced turkey.

What it does? It tastes like you're to meat.

I hit it so much I don't want to follow.

All right, Well, right, the bomb is not necessarily you don't have to. You have to swallow, but you don't have to take any more.

I'm gonna do one more bite. No, no, I could tell you it's not the slice turkey. My grandma made mashed potatoes that had bread grumb on it. This tastes like my grandma's mashed potatoes with bread grumbo.

Which I like. They're very, very very different. They're really different.

No, this gets a two bowls.

I don't want to give it any bowls.

Last I'm very dramatic.

No bowls.

Have it a spoon, one spoon, one spoon. Okay, I'm gonna keep going, hold on, maybe it'll get better.

It's not gonna give This is the part of the episode where we say, Scott, you don't have to finish it.

You don't have to finish it.

Scott, I do could. I need to test the milk out everything.

Even watching him eat it is upsetting me.

It's like horrifying to watch the train wreck in slow motion.

Milk in this one is good. I'll tell you that much. The milk is nice. Try the milk. No, you don't have to get any cereal. They just try the milk.

It tastes like milk.

Well, nope, still know I'm gonna go. I get the three balls.

You're too generous. This is three balls, way too generous.

At the end of the day, it's a chocolate chip cookie, and I don't eat cookie. So if this is the only way I can get cookies, I'm in.

You do eat cookies though, No, I don't you do.

When the last time you saw me eat a cookie.

You said today, if we could have a cookie, just I'll take the chocolate chips off of it eating chocolate.

I'll eat the chocolate, but I won't eat the cookie.

How does that factor into what you're doing?

Listen, you guys can say this all you want, but at the end of the day, I've lost twenty pounds by not eating pastries. I gained a lot back by eating other things. I guess our chocolate chip cookie episode was a success, except that nobody liked the chips. Ahoy, I kind of dug it. But that's good for you, Yeah, I suppose so. Yeah. Congratulations to Cookie Crisp. And what the hell was his name, Cookie Varnish?

What was his name, Cookie Varnish?

What was the wizard's name that started it all? I forgot already.

I wasn't listening, to be honest.

Wendell, his name is Wendell.

Okay, we'll call him Wendell. Well, thank you to the cookie crook and the Cookie, Cop and Chip, both the dog and the wolf and the amazing wizard that started it way back in the seventies. Because you win. Congratulations.

Is this an actual challenge because I feel like we didn't actually sit the ground rules.

No, it was at Cookie Crisp one. So thank you for listening to this exciting episode of serial Killers. That's cyreal with a C. Follow us on Twitter at serial Killers PC.

Wait, there's no bonus?

No, not this time.

Are you just waiting to surprise us with something?

Hey?

Do you want a bonus? Oh?

He's gonna ask. No.

I could give you a bonus, but it's like it's not it wouldn't be a good bonus.

I mean, it's not like sour Patch kids Cereal. So I mean, hold on, Oh get ready for this?

You really want to go longer with this episode? I mean we're at like fifteen minutes already.

We have a special guest. I feel like if you're tuned in, hello, it's a guest.

Hello, I'm here.

Okay, then here.

We go serial Killers listener request.

All right, So this was sent it to us by Johnny on Twitter. He wanted us to review. Hold on, let me go into my sack GONI here's a secret.

There is no listener Johnny on Twitter. It's just Scott.

I feel so had.

He's in a cereal sack so we can't see us.

He's nut cheerios. It's a honey of an. Oh yay, it's honey nut cheerios.

I love honey nut cheios.

Did you not want to do this one?

No, I'll do it.

I mean it's here.

Yeah, why not?

Okay?

Oh?

Did you want more of a reaction? Well? No.

The thing is, though, in our last episode, we promised that we would never do super sweet and then just kind of sweet because it ruins everything. Like yesterday we did honeybun cereal or whenever the hell it was, and and the doughnut cereal, and then we did Kicks right after it, and so the kicks had no flavor because not sweet.

You should have rearranged the order.

Well, I was going to, but Andrew threw me for a loop. I wasn't gonna do it. I wasn't gonna do honey out cheerios today. All right, here we go. Oh my god, sorry it was in the microphone. Alright, I'll take that that. I'll take the top couple. Here, I took the top layer. Okay, dig down deep listen.

If I knew the box, if I knew we were gonna if I knew we.

Were going to do this, I would have had the commercial with the bee and everything. Because the bee has a name, I couldn't do any research.

Is the bee just money?

There's a prize in this one? No way?

Look, wait a minute, there's a free stick on patch. We haven't had any cereals quo with the prize inside yet.

Oh my god, this is the best thing of my life.

Some sweating, however, it is just like it was when we were kids. The prize was wedged in between the like the box and the bag. You didn't have to dig to the bottom for it. But hold on, let's see what we got.

Wait, what were you saying today about the prize where it was a full yo yo in the box?

Whoa No. I did some research, and when we did the donuts cereal on the last episode, I said that there was a cereal in the eighties that tastes like in general. Mills made a cereal called powdered Donuts, and inside the box was a fricking dunkin yo yo, like a full size yo yo. That was the prize back in the eighties.

And they didn't have choking hazards on the box. Isn't that cool?

Yeah, you could just swallow that thing. Hole. This is the coolest thing. It's an iron on patch from the Lion King. We got Simba.

Oh that's great, I can iron it on my clothes.

But the fact that there was a prize in the box, that's like, that's unheard of nowadays. You guys are dicks.

Let's just say on.

The fact that you burped into my get over it.

You know what, I'm gonna mix up the cups and who knows which one the burp is in here? Look, I'm about to play the shell game, you know, No one, two three three two.

I'm here to get poisoned.

Oh which one is that? Maybe you got the burp? Here you go, Andrew, I'm using another spoon just to piss you off. Yeah, I'm right right, okay, ready we got one two three mm. That's pretty sweet. That's good.

Yeah, that's just like I.

Remember, tastes a little like burp.

I think I got the burp cup.

So you got a little bit of cookie crispin that.

I like this one.

I do too.

This gets four balls in a spoon.

Well, I'm gonna give it four balls now, I'm going to give it three balls in a spoon. If it had marshmallows in it, I'd give it four.

He does this every episode. I wish it had marshmallows. I wish I had marshmallows. Half the cereals that have marshmallows. He's like, it's too sweet. Pick up your mind.

I'm kidding. Three balls in a spoon like classic honey nut churios. It's good.

Oh, here's a good question for you. Who would be on your Cereal Avengers kind of Oh here we go.

Mmm from like the cereal boxes. Yes, I gotta go with Wendell.

He's dead, you can come back.

Okay, clearly you haven't seen Avengers. Maybe Fred and Barney from from Chocolate whatever, cocoa pebbles and then oh.

Oh to can Sam.

Yeah he's on my list too. Yeah.

See serial Avengers. I feel like they need to do a crossover film.

Now, all right, well this is a bonus episode, just so you know. You got so much extra in this episode. So you're welcome.

Are you mistreating our listeners?

No? No, that bonus is good, no extra charge.

Oh my god, what if we do bonus episodes? You know what we should do? Tell me be like guys this Wednesday. There's a prize inside.

And that's the prize in the middle of the week.

Oh my god, I'm watching I'm watching art.

You're a genius, Andrew. Thanks all right, well let's wrap it up. Thank you so much for listening to episode seventeen. Please follow us on Twitter at Serial Killers PC. That's Cereal with a C. I'm z Scott eb that's Andrew Pug and we also have baby Hot Sauce with us, so follow her too. Please. Thank you very much for listening. And next episode is oh, we're legal to vote anyway in the next episode.

Also to serve in the military.

Yeah, but you can't buy cigarettes or drink huh, but you can drive in most states. All right, we gotta go until next time. Thank you so much for listening. And crunch. Oh we say crunch at the end of each one, so okay, yeah, okay, one, two, three, Crunch