This is serial Killers. It is hold on this park is Louder for a second Serial Killers episode thirty one. Hello Andrew, Hi Scott. I'm Scottie Bee and this is episode thirty one. Like I said, that's crazy that we've made it this far in the silly little podcast of ours that we talk about cereal.
Yeah, who knew, nobody who'd reach this level of fame.
And yeah, I mean, we're still impossible that nobody's listening. We just do it. We don't know what's going on once we release it. So unfortunately we kind of have to do another healthy episode now.
I say, I bring it on healthy.
These are air quotes hell fee.
From all the sugary stuff we eat. I mean, as long as it's not Puffins Cereal, I am happy to never ever have another Puffins.
By the way, I found out that Barbara of Barbara Cereals is still alive. She sold her cereal company years ago to Weeda Bix and she's raking in the dough.
Good for her, and she makes terrible cereal, so she doesn't deserve any of it.
But yes, So here's the thing. So a few people on Twitter have requested it. Plus, uh, you know what, so we'll just start right off the bat with.
This serial Killers listener request.
It is a listener request because my wife Amy is a listener. So we welcome Amy to the serial Killers podcast.
Hello.
Now you see that big, long, flasted looking thing, You have to put your mouth like right near it, like I taught you. Go ahead. Hi. Okay, So, so my wife Amy is here, and since she requested one of the most disgusting serials of all time, we're gonna go down into the cereal sack.
This is the part where your husband bends down. Oh oh, she spanked him.
She did. It's great.
Not my favorite.
Now, I have never heard anybody say that this is their favorite cereal. It's from Post and it's a small box and it probably weighs about seventeen pounds. Can I feel it's half eating already? She ate most of it, so I was not going to go buy another box of this. So this is from the house. I brought it from the house.
But I have questions. Yes, so Amy, what is it about grape nuts that you like the fiber?
So just the fiber, there's zero taste.
But I guess she likes the fiber and the ciness.
Okay, Was this your favorite cereal as a kid? No, Lucky Charms was, and so this changed when you became an adult.
Yes, so I don't even know what to say, but I mean, there's no grape and there's no nuts in here.
So I thought grape nuts had like dehydrated grapes. Well, I guess that would be a raisin.
Are you kidding me right now?
No, it's funny.
There's no raisins and grape nuts.
So why are they called grape nuts.
Something like back in the day they thought they looked like little grape seeds, So grape nuts, I don't know, it's stupid. Wait, what ingredient is sugar? Aim? Read the read the ingredients.
Whole green wheat, flour, too malted barley flour, salt, dried yeast, no sugar.
There's no sugar, you know what. No sugar equals no taste, although it does say total sugars five grams, but added sugar zero. So you can boom all you want. So let's go down because.
It's a nice bowel movement.
I just had one, so we're good. That's disgusting when you.
Pour our milk like I don't like those poopans touching my mouth have poison?
Speaking of I brought you guys a tree.
Yeah, I don't know if this is a treat.
I just I have a little critique for your podcast. Wow, I don't like the sound of the cups. I think it sound terrible.
You should have been a folly artist. You know what that is, like a fluffer. No, well, you'd be great at that as well. But no, that's somebody that makes sound effects for TV and movies and stuff like that.
These are bowls that I didn't want in the house anymore, so you can have them here.
Okay, But this thing, we do multiple cereals each time, though, what do we get? Like I said, we don't have a dishwasher, so well we'll figure that out.
Look, he overthinks everything to the point where it's like, oh wow, he really.
Look what she does. She opens the cereal bag and then she pours it into a ziplock and puts that.
In some it stays fresh.
I mean, I don't think that that's actually the worst. I think that's a smart este.
With Cooper, and she leaves cereal boxes open, so it's the only way it stays fresh.
Let me tell you something Cooper would never go into the grape nuts box. You're safe, all right, either, would I? So let's hold on, here we go. They don't even make sound because it's air and crap.
That's it's a very excited for the grape nuts.
It makes no sound.
We need something sound much better.
We need something heavier, like honeycomb.
Okay, you don't have to clang around my bowls, all right, don't go down.
To the fridge.
You want whole milk or lower carbs, all right, one percent milk. We're using, oh shop right milk.
I think healthy cereals.
I bet there's some rice in here. Because it's snap crackle and popping, you're.
Gonna be pleasantly surprised.
Okay on the counter three two three, that's so disgusting. Hell yeah, that's awful.
You put some almond butter in it.
Almond butter in it. You shouldn't have to put anything into cereal. I'm not gonna lie lie.
I like this. I like this. Okay. So I came from the opinion that this was going to have like raisins or something in it, But this would taste delicious with raisins.
And you can add bananas, you can add anything.
You shouldn't have to add anything. No cereals should just calm and that's it.
I'm gonna listen. This is gonna be controversial. Four bowls.
Hell yeah, you guys are out of your damn minds, or as you like me to say, Gords, you're crazy. You know. They do also make grape nut flakes. I should have brought those. They probably just taste like brand. But all right, hold on, so I'm not going to be a complete dick. They're not horrendous. This is not something that I would enjoy. I don't. I would never buy this or eat it. But it's not you're eating mine. Okay, there's lipstick all over the spoon. That's gross.
I really really liked it. It's it's not like I don't know. I eat it, and I don't feel like I ate something bad, if that makes sense. It feels like I'm eating almost like a granola bar.
I feel like I feel like I ate something bad. It's called grape nuts.
I love grape nuts. Grape nuts are now a cereal. I will actually pick up off the shelf, So thank you, Amy.
Well, you better you better work out first, because the box is so heavy that it'll fall and break your.
Foot Andrew shape, Yeah, okay, shocked.
That's great. So five bowls from Amy, four balls from Andrew. I will give it one ball.
That's a little okay, No, no, no, what you're trying to do. This is some clickbait on this podcast.
I just I don't I wouldn't never eat this cereal. I'm sorry, I don't like it. That's what this podcast is all about.
I take the part of eating it that you would never buy the cereal? Can you still definitively say it is a bad cereal?
Taste wise, I don't really like it.
What don't you like about the taste?
It's just it's oh, I just broke the bag. It's it's bland.
He doesn't like it because it's six dollars a box.
There's that. It's it's bland, it's boring, and it's just it can't hold my attention from more than two spoonfuls.
I love that we're talking about cereal keeping your attention.
That's right, that's right. There's no characters on the box.
I really love grape nuts.
There's a butterfly because it's non gmo.
Do you know what it tastes like? What a little bit like total, like just regular plain Total, which I enjoyed.
Yes, do you know that Kelloggs also makes Oh my god, my band hait just flipped off and you can see my poison ivy.
Oh great, So now poison ivy in the milk in the cups.
It taste better. But Kelloggs makes All Brand buds, which are do you remember the All Brand that we had there were the long straw thing. Well they have buds also that are the same as these, but it's probably more brand than this.
This did not taste like All Brand. This tastes delic and I think you amy all right.
You can take this box? Won't please? Get it the hell out of my sack? All right? So here comes the next healthy cereal. This one probably has a little bit more sugar in it, so I might like this one a tiny bit.
I detect a little bit of an attitude when you keep saying healthy, I'm going to the cereal.
Let me get past all this sugar.
Oh, you really have to make sure you pull down your shirt because that butt crack just hangs out.
Okay, So this is from Kellogg's and it's called smart Start. Perhaps you've heard of it. Before.
I love Smart Start.
Well, I can't recall ever trying this cereal, so.
It's basically total all the cereals we're eating taste like total.
Original antioxidant formula, antioxyden, vitamin CE and beta carotene. It. I mean it looks healthy, but.
What are the ingredients?
Rice, whole grain, wheat, sugar, so it's the third ingredient. Okay, we're getting better, but let's open it up. Do I if for scotti shake this, I don't know. I don't know if there's things other than flakes in here.
Excited with that shape you do the shaking home.
I do, although I see there are other things in there. There's there's some granola type clusters. You're gonna mix it with the grape nuts? Okay, yeah, great sound effects.
I actually want to mix the grape nuts with the smart Start because they know what the smart Start tastes.
You shouldn't have to do that.
So there is one thing I would like to add to your podcast, but I couldn't get it here this morning. I'd like to get you a palate cleanser, like a lemon sorbet so in between tastings.
I don't need that because the grape nuts tastes like crap, so that anything will be better. So let's go into the smart Start, hater smart start from Kellogg's. Here we go. A frosted flakes. To me, are less sweet frosted flakes, and I like.
It a little sweet, but it's okay.
Little cinnamon sugar in there.
This is good. I'd give this four balls.
Four balls, huh Andy, four balls.
Listen. I'm actually going to go back to the drawing board on this one.
Okay.
I like the grape nuts better than this.
Shut hell up.
I have to say, grape nuts are a fantastic cereal. This is gonna get three bowls in a spoon for me. Grape nuts still has to stick at four. I love the taste of grape nuts. I could eat an entire bowl of this. I don't find anything bad about it, and I love that it has fiber to keep me regularly.
Can we just get off the grape nuts? I turned, well, it's not hard to turn, Andrew what I'm I'm also going to go three bowls and a spoon on it. I like it on the smart Start. I like it it is a less sweet frosted flakes because you know, sugar now is kind of getting me. I don't know what the word is, but what he's rolling his eyes. I can't if I eat too much sugar. I get tingly.
You are a hypochondriac? Has your arm pain?
My arm's good. I'm feeling better.
He's going for his physical tomorrow.
Yeah, okay, so the arm pain just went away.
The arm pain? No, oh, my right arm? Yeah, no, that still hurts.
He's convinced he has blood clot something along those lines.
No, no, no, no, no, yes, so no, actually I've ruled that out because my extremities don't hurt me anymore. It's just that something's going on in my arm. But that's it's it's not a health thing. I'm good. Anyway, let's move on.
You didn't ask me what my reading was.
Oh yeah, go ahead, it' smart start.
Three bowls and a broken spoon.
That's not that's not a thing. Half spoon, three balls in a spoon?
About three bowls?
Three balls? Okay, three balls.
I just want to go back to one more thing. Yeah, Scott is going to get very angry. So I kept a little bit of the grape nuts right here.
Still.
Yeah, I love the grape nuts. Milk. It tastes delicious and podcast.
Yes, we just did grape nuts and I threw up all over the place. Elvis, come here, try a handful of grape nuts. I love grape nuts, so you don't. I mean, how do you pull them up? Those little grapes here? It's like rabbit fo Yeah what they're disgusting? Okay, that he's very healthy. So on a scale of one to five bowls, what would you give it? Elvis? Hold all right, I'm out. I'm getting out of here, seriously, bye, all right, so uh smart start cereal? You gave it? What now? Three?
Bawl?
All right? Well, this this thing is all over the place. We're done with this healthy crap. Okay, because now it's going to take a turn south. I'm so sorry, but that's it. Here we go. Uh. This was requested also by.
Amy, bringing it back to childhood days.
Yes, and a bunch of listeners are like, dude, you never did the original one yet, so take it away, cap'n Island can.
Yeah, and we're here to show the world the secret though Crunch Island.
Then let's go here. The fields of up to daisies.
Over Crunch Islands really a swing even.
Through hell and tunnel. Yea, whoa, oh Mountain, I'm going the twain Captain Crunch cereal. That could be a crunchy part of a balance breakfast.
That mountains named after me? What else mount crunch for? We have to inject some sugar into this boring, bland episode. It's only boring and bland to you. Do you want me to talk more about grape nuts because they can no no more grape nuts. I'm going down to the cereal sack, good old original cap'n Crunch. I like cap'n Crunch. We've done multiple versions of cap'n Crunch, never the original. I love the original too, because I mean, it's just sugar crunch ad ties me, cap'n.
I'm just preparing the roof of my mouth to get cut open.
That's right. There will be shards of flesh dangling from the top of your mouth.
Yep. None of that makes it sound appealing or appetizing.
Okay, Sorry, Look who I just found on the back of this box. I want you Andrew to pick it out. Find him at tell me who you see? Oh the Cuisp guy Cuisp is on there, Come on, talk like him?
Oh the alien? Yeah, the alien with the lift.
The lyt, the lift bequidt so and look and these goofy looking dude. This is totally like straight out of seventies cartoons. I love the back of this box. There's all kinds of hidden stuff in here.
They made the captains sound drunk in all his commercials from the seventies and eighties. Though, yeah, Zo, he probably was.
He was. He was definitely high and drunk and everything. That's how it went down in the seventies. All right, So let's break into this now. I you remember it wh a few episodes ago, I rattled off all forty five versions of forty forty five varieties of cap'n Crunch because there have been so many, And actually just saw a red, white and blue cap'n Crunch on the shelf in the supermarket, so that's probably still left over from fourth of July.
I didn't buy it because I'm surprised, And then next year at this time you'd be like, wow, red white and blue cap'n Crunch.
Excited. Wait a second, this bag.
He always blames it on the bag.
Oh I tore it, I toilet. I need a ziplock bag. Amy, you have one handy no, you don't allow me to. I might. I might dump the grape nuts out and use that bag. All right, good old classic cap'n crunch from Quaker.
I have a dumb question, Yeah, was cereal ever in the sixties or the seventies? Was the cereal always in a bag or did it ever just come in the box?
There always had to be some sort of liner. I don't know. I'd have to look back at the archives of Cereal. Did you see that? I just gleaked? Did you see it? I sprayed spit on the board.
Thank you so much for calling attention to that. That's so great, No problem.
I would assume that there was always some sort of liner between the box and the cereal.
Why have they not come out with a resealable cereal?
Sat they have?
He's omnipotent and it's moltomeal.
Look see it's a zipped clothes But.
The problem is you get forty two pounds of cereal and the.
Cereal you know. Well, but no, they should. They should have a resealable bag in the box, as we mentioned that a couple episodes ago, and that's something that they should do. All right, So let's get into Captain crunch. These pieces do appear a bit smaller than they did when we were children. I feel like they were bigger. You can't eat yet, You're so defiant.
Here you go, Andrew, I think you Scott.
Now, I'm just gonna take one spoonful because you know, cutting the sugar and all. All right, here we go. M hm, classic delicious.
Sweet injury, a bit too sweet. At first, I was like, uh, oh, these don't taste the same, but then they did.
They do. I was never a cap'ain crunch kid, really never had it. Oh, I know what it tastes like. It's delicious.
I like this. I like crunch berries, the oops all berries. I give a peanut butter crunch. That's like a big one for me.
I give this four balls, three balls and a spoon for me. Amy two balls, okay, because she doesn't like sugar, so even though she continues to eat it, she obviously loves it, she'll give it two balls.
I'm actually requesting more grape bus Okay.
Well, you know, I just realized that there's a little bit of an issue with this episode. What so we've done grape nuts, classic smart start, classic captain crunch, classic we had no new cereal in this episode, and we pride ourselves with, you know, exposing the listeners to new cereals.
Are you going to four bowls?
There has to be one more. I apologize, but I'm going to go down to the cereal sack. Amy will not like this, but here we go.
Dude, is it the chicken waffle cereal.
From the people who gave you every other sweet piece of crap delicious cereal? I give you General Mills Dippin' dots, no cookies and cream. No, what do you mean?
No?
No, why no?
No?
This has been out for about a year or so now, but I'll still call it new.
Is the box about a year old?
No, I just got it. It's good till December.
Is there anything else on that we could pick from?
No, there's also They also comes in a banana variety, which no, the sack is locked and closed, so is okay, no kidding, just like at any other night at home. All right, here we go. Let's let's get it open.
Oh yeah, you do the Scottie shake it home.
Boo ah, that's so delicious. Oh, listen to that.
Amy has a really smart way of cleaning the bowl. You just put the excess cereal in a cup.
I'm also I'm just throwing up from the lipstick on the spoons.
I don't know why it's lipstick on a spoon.
Okay, one percent milk in our dippin' dots, cookies and cream. Amy, you have no choice but to at least try.
I didn't. You never gave me any my cup.
I'm drunk. Here you go. Don't smell it. Don't smell it. H oh, it smells delicious.
No, it smells like coffee grinds.
It does actually game alright, here we go. Make sure you get everything on the spoon. There's three different pieces. I don't like this.
No, it's gross.
It's not gross because somebody likes it.
It tastes like dirt.
It doesn't taste like dirt. Okay, I don't take.
That one step further. Tgi Friday's mud mud slide. Yeah, that's what this tastes like.
Really, yep, I'll go talking a microphone. They can't hear you.
I don't really like this one at all. Very artificial, yeah, I mean dippin' dots in and of themselves are artificial.
Oh yeah, naturally and artificially flayer I don't like that sweetened corn and oat cereal. But who's that, Oh, that's the that's the Dippin' dots guy. I forget what his name is. Ever brought us Dippin' dots?
I threw out?
Yeah, you threw him out. I brought it home for Cooper out. I'm telling her.
You can tell her, well Cooper, remember no, all right, Well.
Scott brings home all the little crap and I just throw it out.
And every time we get things at the station, he's like, Cooper with them, Yes, don't bring it home.
Your wife's gonna make you throw it out.
Every time. He's like, oh, these red sunglasses.
Cooper would like these.
He brought these bulls home. Look, I'm bringing him in so you can throw them out.
People want to hear about cereal and not our woes at home.
No, I absolually am appreciating this. So you mentioned Saturday night, the Scottie Shake. How did that go?
I fell asleep?
All right?
So anyway, Mom, Yeah it was. It was a lot of this, Mom, all right. So, I mean General Mills and Posts have been licensing all these brands, some of them fantastic, some of them not so good. Dippin' dots. Not so good.
I give this two bowls.
I'm going to give it a ball in a spoon. I really don't care for one.
All right, Oh you are just I'm a tough critic.
All right, well, thank you very much for listening to Serial Killers episode thirty one. I'm so glad you came. I'm so glad you came all the way into the city to come taste the grape nuts and tell me how great they are.
But I'm telling you how great you are. And I love spending time with Andrew. Oh okay, well, and we're gonna have a nice lunch today.
All right, let's record episode thirty two. Then why don't we do that. We're going to do a double No, I don't think we can. Oh, I don't have anything too excited. No, no, I'm not. Normally it takes too much on Saturday. Normally it's thirty seconds, but I went twenty minutes here, so it's time to end. Thank you so much for listening to Serial Killers. Please follow us on Twitter serial Killers PC. That's Cereal with a C. I'm z Scott EB that's Andrew Pug.
Make sure you hit the subscribe button. Wherever you are listening to your podcast. Now, when you subscribe, you don't even have to look for the episodes because they automatically come to your phone, and please leave us a review. Five stars would be great, but you know if you want to give it a one star because we chew into the microphones by all, mean, let's tell.
Us that no, I didn't have to burp today because I yelled.
I yelled at him for burping.
All right, thank you for listening to Serial Killers. We got to go. I mean, I'm pretty sure you listen, so you know what we do at the end. And uh, until next time, people.
Crunch, I love grape nuts, mipe.
That's for you, Amy, Okay, thanks, bye,