Whenever you're ready and done playing with your phone. I'm here, ready to go, Andrew. I don't know whose text is more important than this podcast, Scott.
I have a job outside of this podcast, so I just thought I would like that, are we fighting on this podcast? I think we might listen. I will pull a reality show TV moment and walk away.
There's plenty of other people who are ready to step right in.
I just feel like my needs aren't being met. Scott.
Okay, that's enough of that, so welcome to and Shorter every time. Well, it is Serial Killers podcast time. I don't even know what episode we're up to it. We don't care anymore. Right, we're in the high twenties.
I'm just gonna say it's episode forty million.
Didn't you just say stop doing that?
Yeah, so it's episode forty million in one.
All right, we're we're in the twenty eight or something like that. But who cares. We're here and we're gonna eat some cereal because that's what we do in this podcast. Just in case you're new, you know, we will try one classic cereal and one new cereal, and generally a bonus box because Andrew's always hungry, right.
No, that's not it. It's always you. I just didn't hear along for the ride. Okay, really loving my life, spiritual journey man.
All right, if that's how you want to put it. So let's uh, shall I go down into the cereal sack?
Of course? What are we doing first class?
I think that we should do a classic cereal first. So I'm gonna head downtown as they.
Say, oh god, no one says that.
Now, this is a very classic Okay. You may remember the commercials from the seventies.
And this is the part of the podcast where if new listeners, I go, I wasn't born.
Oh that's right, Andrew, because you're only like twenty something eight that's the number of this episode. Congratulations.
Oh so you knew the whole time and you were just keeping that a secret.
I did, of course. All right, So we're going to dive into a box of our original Quaker Oh Life, it's one of my favorites Life.
Cereal Love Life. Do you well, I mean like actual life or the Cereal?
Because which one do you like better?
But do you have a couch?
Yes?
Sit on down? All right. Well I went with this one first because I know it's going to be bland and boring.
Yeah, and it's not bland and it's not boring. Don't say that about my cereal.
Let me see what the second ingredient is. What do you think sugar? Mm yep, yeah, whole grain oat flour sugar.
Listen, it's one of my favorites. But I know it's not like super healthy like the Tram played off.
I mean it's not very well those commercials back in the day, Yeah, with Mikey in them. They tried to play it off as a healthy commercial. Mike, it doesn't like healthy stuff, you know, And then they gave it to him and he liked it. So I guess shape wise I could most equate these two.
Checks Yeah, or Crispecks even Life is one of the only cereals I can eat dry?
Really Yeah?
How about Checks?
You like checks mix?
Yeah? Well I don't consider that a cereal. Hold on, okay, I need to tell you what's going on. No, no, don't no, I am So. Scott has recently taken upon himself to say we need more sound fix.
Well, it's actually my wife that said we needed to sound like it's actually going into a bowl.
To which then Max got a delivery who's Max, Max, Elvis's dog got it delivered Elvis the radio show that we work for, Elvis Duran in the morning show. His dog Max got a dog bowl. Yes, so Scott is now pouring the cereal into a dog bowl. So this way, you guys get the sound effect of the cereal hitting a glass bowl.
Well, yeah, that's the way it's cereal is supposed to sound, not like this, that's a cup. But we'll just keep using cups because you know what, I don't have to clean a bowl every time.
It's annoying unless we get like official Serial Killers bowls.
Yeah, or if we could get Whirlpool to donate a dishwasher.
You went from like zero to sixty on the endorsements. We're trying to get milk and you're like, I know it's better than milk a dishwasher.
Hell, we also have no water hookup or any drainage or anything, so I guess that probably wouldn't work.
Oh soo, hell, like what, I'm so confused.
I don't know what's going on. To go to the refrigerator and unfortunately, I'm sorry, but we're back to fat free skim milk this time around. Tuscan Dairy Pure is the brand.
Yeah.
Uh, the seven to eleven did not have any one percent this morning.
Do you think they get it from Tuscany?
No, I don't because no, No, that's Italy.
Yeah, so that's a pretty far trip.
So these cows ethically raised.
You know what, here's your freaking life. Maybe you should get on.
Okay, so let's eat the cereal.
You know what, this kind of sinks. Actually, this this cereal doesn't flow.
Cause it's holy four bowl of warm boom so fast.
You can do that.
Mm.
I like what I like.
I tell you why. I like the Life secret sugar that's right in the middle, little granules and you can taste them and feel them. That's why I really like the Cinnamon Life. I love Cinnamon Life because you could you could what you can crunch the cinnamon sugar in the middle.
Like going into extreme detail. You can taste that's right.
So four balls, one spoon from you, Yes, that means you like it?
Yeah right, Hey, this.
Will be Andrew's final moments on Serial Killers. But that's I feel like we're crazy on this episode right now.
Really yeah, well, I also like it. I got them bleeding from the Life cereal. Look at this. Oh my goodness, where am I bleeding from? Isn't that where you shoot your heroin?
What?
I give it three balls in a spoon because I also like it.
And if anyone's doing heroin, it's you, bro.
I won't ever play that again, I promise. So are you okay?
Yeah?
I mean I think so what.
You cut yourself on?
I guess I scratched my leg?
I mean, is there a lawsuit here? Did you cut it on the sea? Yes? I'm in distress. Is there a shard of wheat? Let's move on to the new Cereal? How about that?
Okay?
You ready?
Is it another version of life? Because I don't know if I can do this?
It is not. But I do have vanilla and cinnamon, and I think I have a box of strawberry also in the not in the cereal sack, but in the cereal basement pantry. So maybe maybe next week? All right, So let's get down to the cereal sack. I'm pulling out.
Can you pull up your pants? Because I can see your butt crack.
I have to do some plumbing later. Wild Berry fruit loops from Kellogg's what's that face for? They're probably not much different than berry berry kicks or oops All Berries. Yeah, they're probably closer to oops all Berries.
I'm not like jazzed about it, you know, because it's called berry. No, it just doesn't seem like something I'm gonna with stars. Okay, look how.
Happy two can is to be presenting the stars.
I really love that they made two can out of felt.
He does look like he's not really a cartoon here, although his feet are, but the rest of his body is not.
Yeah, it's very odd, like why does he have him a reflection again? And in photoshop? That is like you don't understand all somebody did like the designer because this is the laziest box art I've ever seen him ony not the back No, the back of the box art is like a little too much.
Wow, that's a whole amusement park back then.
Yeah, the front of the box is literally just too can Sam. They copied and pasted him onto a box and then somebody pressed the reflect button.
He just created that.
And they were like done.
Well, my guess is this is probably a rather limited cereal. Wild berry fruit loops is not gonna I don't think last long.
Why you've already had fruit loops with flavors. Why are you creating wild berry?
There's so many varieties of fruit loops. Now there's one with marshmallows too. I'm gonna have to get that.
Didn't we try that already?
No?
We did try that.
H It kind of smells like a sugary drink.
Alow, everything we eat is a sugary drink. So we've got red, blue and green rings and purple stars.
This is this is a lot. I'm really jumping into this.
One smells berry delicious.
Why do you do this?
I'm trying to get people to tune out.
Here you go, Okay, here we go. Make sure I get one of these star shapes. No, no, no, no, just being honest.
Now, well, what makes you say no devoid.
Of any flavor?
I have to kind of agree there.
Well, how can you go with something exotic like wild berry but have it tastes like not wild berry? Also? Can I ask a question? Yeah, what technically is a wild berry?
They're berries that grow in the wild. Could be raspberries or strawberries, or blackberries or boison berries.
Wait, so like a raspberry is technically a wild berry?
It is because they just grown that.
I didn't know they had like that special classification.
People plant them. But you could like drive a long on the side of an interstate and see raspberries like weeds. Yes, you better be careful because some of them are poisonous.
Well, I don't normally stop on the interstate to go with raspberries.
But I've been known to know I have been known to.
The sad part is I actually believe that you are known to.
You ever see those guys as you're driving. They're like pulled over on the side of the road with a basket picking wild flowers.
Where do you live. I've seen it Amish country.
No, I mean I've seen it on the interstate. People just pulled over picking those wild orange things.
So here we go.
This is the part of the show where we have to play.
This Wait Serial Killers listener request. Okay, before the listener request, wait a second, I forgot to I didn't rate it either.
I just stepped on a fruit on a loop.
Are you sure it wasn't a star?
No, it was a loop.
That's right.
We didn't rate this thing. Hold on, I gave it too to go back? No, okay, wild berry fruit loop from Kellogg's. You give it?
What two bowls?
I will give it two bowls in a spoon. Wasn't terrible, wasn't great? Kind of middle of the road because you know, if you take two balls and a spoon away from five balls, you get two balls and a spoon. So that's right in the middle.
Wow, that's really cool, Scott, I do math?
Are you drinking coffee? Is that your palate cleanser?
It's tea, peppermint tea. Okay, all right, so I'm pretending like I'm a celebrity.
Can I please play this thing now?
Make it seem like it's always my fault? Here we go, serial killers listener request.
It's the request from me again, the request is not from you, as a matter of fact, I don't think you're gonna like this at all.
Who's it from?
Well, it is from amongst other people, Laura on Twitter.
Okay, wanted us to do this?
Oh God, is it the one I think it's gonna be.
I'm not sure what you think it's gonna be. It is another Kellogg's product.
Is it a birthday cake? Cereal?
And it is an offshoot of fruit Loops And I'm gonna go down to the cereal second well out another too? Can Sam creation Kellogg's fruit loop birthday cake, but it's his strawberry birthday cake, so you might be okay with it. What's matter? And again it's the freaking family size box because it's all they had. I want like seven loops, and I have to get an entire family size box.
It's this is I'm hm, I just.
It's a fun back of box. It's a whole birthday celebration in a park.
So wait no, and I'll tell you why. The castle looks like why would you put a maze a pink maze there? It looks like intestines.
It's in the it's in the it does look like a testine, it's in the frosting. And then there's a fruit loop bouncy house in the back there, and there's just loops everywhere. It's a search party find six party hats and six strawberries hidden around the park.
All right, why can't you find them yourself?
Too?
Can sampton so lazy?
Like find bird's eye of you? He should be able to see them.
That's the third time I've let you make a joke that like I haven't said anything line it will be the last one.
Oh my god, this stinks gross.
Actually it's not the worst.
I like strawberry quick.
Yes, that's what I was thinking. So I'm not hating this. My problem with birthday cake, and I will say this people disagree with me, but birthday cake is not a flavor by itself.
Birthday cake is a thing, yes right.
Birthday cake can be chocolate. Birthday cake can be strawberry. Birthday cake can be strawberry and vanilla.
It can be red velvety exactly, so it can be Devil's food, it can be Angels food.
Yeah, okay, yes, back to what I'm trying to say is strawberry birthday cake makes sense, strawberry birthday cake. But when it's by itself, come at me.
Now, is it the cake or is it the frosting that they're talking about?
Exactly?
There's so many variables when you're talking about birthday cake.
Sprinkles, Yeah, I love the sprinkles.
Can I tell you a funny story real quick. Yeah, The first time my wife ever met my aunt, we were coming out of a cold Stone creamery. Okay, she's an older woman. Yeah, And I said, oh my goodness, Amy, this is my aunt Betty. Aunt Betty, this is Amy and Aunt Betty smiled, and her teeth were full of chocolate sprinkles. Oh no, so from that day fourth we call her sprinkles.
I love it.
That's cute, all right, that was wholesome.
I hope she doesn't have a smartphone because she doesn't know that. All right, let's go into the Kellogg's True Loops birthday cake strawberry cereal.
Here it is, okay.
It tastes like it's been sitting on the shelf for a long time. I don't like it.
It tastes like buttered popcorn.
Yes, it does have an aftertaste of buttered popcorn.
It's nasty. That's buttered popcorn in a box. Mast is strawberry birthday cake.
I'm gonna just I'm just one one more, just in case.
Huh, this gets a bowl and a spoon. That was not good. Throw it away, burn the box, call it a day.
I'm going to give it a ball. Not good. I was very I was looking forward to it. I really was.
That's good, and that's one of us. Well, you look very sad. Now I feel bad.
I keep stepping on this one loop that's on the floor and you have no shoes on. You're gonna cut your foot on this loop?
Are they that's sharp? I mean maybe these are because they taste a little stale.
On top of that, it's a fresh, brand new box. It's a you know, it's a limited edition, which means it won't be around long. So if you want to try don't. If you want to try it, you better hurry.
Don't go rush to try it because it's trash.
We should rename him too, can't, Sam.
This is the fourth joke you've made.
We should probably go now because we're getting delirious. There's lots of sugar in our systems.
There really isn't because now that you are healthy and you only eat one spoonful, we really don't have that much sugar.
I did have two spoonfuls because I just needed to make sure it would sucked.
Like the life I might go back to, because I like the life you did. Rightful?
Yay, all right, we have to go because it's I don't know which is getting out of control. I can't believe you're still listening to it. Thank you appreciate that. Oh you know what, just try the milk. Try the birthday cake milk, would you please? I'm thinking that might save it.
Nope, buttered popcorn milk. All right, the last thing I ever wanted to try it?
Please follow us on Twitter as serial killers peec that's cereal with the sea. What's going on over there.
In my brain? Just out of something?
Yes?
Was there ever chocolate fruit loops?
Well, think about it.
Think about what you just said. So no, unless they just threw a new fruit named chocolate. No, oh god, okay, thanks my.
Find this moment.
But think about it. What if they did, like chocolate covered strawberry chocolate covered like you know what I'm saying, Like.
They other loop cereals in chocolate form, but there's never been chocolate fruit loops.
This needs to be a thing. Get on it, fruit loops. I'm not gonna eat it or like it, but like a chocolate covered strawberry chocolate wildberry.
You hate the strawberry fruit loops, so why would you want chocolate covered strawberry fruit loop?
Well? How do I know which one was a strawberry colored one? I just assume it's the red one in the regular box.
I think I'm nauseous. I'm getting dizzy. I'm dizzy. Why, I'm not sure?
Are you gonna pass out?
We should go now? Thank you for listening to Cereal Killers. An a whole new episode in just a few days. Bet you can't wait unless there's some sort of cereal emergency and we'll give you a bonus on a Wednesday. I don't know what day this, I don't know what's going on. What's my name?
I'm worried about your well being if you pass out. I don't know any of the CPR.
Any of the CPR. Thanks for listening to Serial Killers. Did you want to say something else? Andrew?
Yes? What?
Make sure if you're enjoying this podcast, you're a newcomer, you're like, whoa, this was great. I loved it so much, make sure you hit the subscribe button because then when we put up new episodes, they go straight to your smartphone. And if you also feel in client, please leave us a review. Reviews help us get better.
You know, as of this recording, we have almost four hundred followers on Twitter.
That's crazy, that's pretty cool. Yeah, I love our Twitter followers. Are so nice.
They are some of them are a bit out of their minds. Won't mention any names, but thank you very much for following us. We love you nonetheless. So let's get out of here.
You don't say that about our Cereal fans.
They don't know who I'm talking about.
I'm pretty sure. No, we love you all.
I didn't say I don't love them. I just said some of them are out of their minds, like we are.
Gotta go.
Thanks for listening to Serial Killers, the podcast about Cereal Until We Meet Again. We like to say, Crunch, Crunch, shut up. Is Mikey dead? Yeah, no, he's definitely still alive. If you say he's dead, then how did he die?
Because it wasn't the Pop Rocks Heroin.
Was it the Heroin Life flavor? Yes, they discontinued that