Farmer Scott

Hey Pell, Hey Scott, Welcome to Serial Killers. You need to keep that whole opening in.

What Oh okay, that's cool.

What's gotta be? Will tell you? What's si? Rachel?

Then you were that shirt last week?

Oh you took your shirt off? What that's weird?

Ew what just.

Wearing another shirt?

And that cereal is still here from last week? Can you clean up a little?

Trust me, there's nothing that can be more clean in the studio. It's a tragic mess.

Welcome to Serial Killers. It's the last Monday in April. Could you believe it's this year? Is flying?

Means? My birthday is this week?

The table thirtieth? Yes, it is Happy birthday, pal, Thank you. On Wednesday, I got you something.

What did you get?

I can't tell you?

An all new episode of Serial Killers.

That's right. Welcome it's the Farmland Fresh Dairy Studios. I'm Scotty B. That's Andrew. This is Serial Killers. It's the podcast where we talk about cereal.

Cool. Yeah, yeah, okay, we are doing I guess we'll eat.

I don't know. I don't know.

What do you want to talk about? I just I want to bullet.

I will tell you one thing. I'm a little nervous because the cereal we're gonna do today is literally the last thing that I have that says new on it. So within the next couple of days we better get something.

Well, I mean, didn't you get something from Matt.

Yeah, but that's all old store brand junk. Oh okay, you know we need new. I mean, I know this some Nature Valley series, A bunch of stuff going on. I don't see it. I don't know either. Hopefully in the next couple of days we'll get some shipments from our friends that I don't know, maybe Post or General Mills. We have no friends of Kellogg's, so they're very stingy.

Yeah, tweety.

We've never got a promo package from Kellogg's ever, ever, ever, ever. I think the ones that no, I'm not going to say it, please, I beg I bet.

Say, let's go into the first series.

I'm begging you to say it.

No, I can't, please, begg Are they the ones?

Are they the ones that what nothing? What?

Nothing? Fine?

That have Fred and Barney on the box?

No? Yeah, because we got the we got for we got something from them.

Why did Cooper put this up here? See she knows nothing about branding or anything. God, well, she was blocking the logo. She came in here and went through all the cereals. I was like, is this one good? Is this one good? Is this one good? I said, listen to serial killers or go to serial killerspc dot com and you can see if it's good.

Honestly, serial killerspc dot com is the fastest way to find out whether or not we like a cereal.

But she also stuck her hand in everything, So don't eat any.

Of that, okay, just saying kids.

Kids, all right, So here we go. This is this one. I found this in the big giant mega shop right and Sparta, New Jersey.

My notification's going off.

Yeah you know what that is? What it says Cooper just spent ten dollars at the vending machine. What is going on? She's that was just a note? Oh it got declined. She tried to spend ten What are you buying a vending machine for ten dollars?

I don't know.

She came in here. It took two dollars cash from me.

Also, you know the dollar work on that machine.

I know she's scamming. She went to my credit card for something.

Do you know that my parents if I did that, what they would do to me, slap your hand with a ruler. John, the father would have looked at me and the lips would have been gone. It would have been and a headshake, and I would have said, okay.

Anyways, I don't even snack anyway.

Meanwhile, you're saying, here, take my card, kid, good luck.

This is joyful millets. I mean, what, what the hell is a millet? Fruit? Well, I mean it's that's a grain, millet it is, yeah, oh, fruit and nut crunchy MUSELI oh the musli. Yeah, that's a millet right there.

That's a millet.

Yeah, it looks like the a grain thing looks go a wheat thing, grain thing, nutritious. Ancient grains turn me why millets? We hear you ask, look it heard you even said it crunchy. Every spoonful of crunch leaves you smiling inside and out. Resilient. They've been around for four thousand years and need less water to grow than most grains. Mighty improves the livelihoods of farmers, as he crows were other crops. Can't ancient grain A tasty grain, there's that word.

I genuinely think I just had a nine years.

That's cool and it's signed by the creator of Joyful. You read the.

Name, uh Prashant para para Missuarin.

Okay, I wasn't gonna try that.

I'm not gonna set myself up with debt ooh said, I'll just read the forty two page.

Essays kinds of stuff in here.

It sounds not like the cereals that's a candy, right or pebbles, not the fruity kind. This is gonna wreck my teeth. I just know it.

I know, and you know what. I have to get a crown because I got problems.

Oh do you know that? The other day when I have my my Avo Hallumi salad, my spring Hallumi salad, well.

Can you just get iceberg lettuce? I mean, what do you know?

This Halluomi spring salad from Avo is life changing? Okay? Cool? Anyway, I woke up and I was like, I have such bad toothpaint. I don't know what's going on. This is bad. I'm like, it can't be a cavity. Oh God. Then I felt my gums killing me. Turns out little Pisa.

Millet no quin wa.

Yes, stuck in my gums.

Well, that's why I don't eat that crap. Give me some iceberg, lettuce, tomato, cucumber. I'm in every man, that's right.

I just like to get in my pickup truck and eat ice spurgle lettuce.

Yeah, I'll eat. I'll just hold the head in my hand and just eat it like an apple.

Yeah, I eat it like an apple.

Yep.

I'm in every man, that's right.

I'm fa Yeah, that's.

What they do. We go to the farms and eat I spurg lettuce and then get in our pickup trucks.

That's right. Yeah. I love that life.

Yeah, you love that life.

Yeah.

I give you two days on a farm.

Okay, you'll see. Yeah, okay, I'm going to a farm for a whole week. You'll see. I'm the hay and the horses and everything. What farm feeding the animals?

What farm?

The Christmas Tree Farm in New Jersey, Christmas Tree Farm. Yeah, they got animals, They got animals. Yes, and you're feeding the animals. I'm doing everything. Tractors, everything, tractors. I'll take video, got it. You don't believe me. I'm gonna plant the Christmas trees there's two hundred trees coming. I'm planting them.

Okay, you're seeking the tree, feeding the animals.

Yeah, I'm gonna do it. Bowing. Hey, the whole thing bowing.

Okay, what okay?

Why I'm a country guy. I was born in the wrong neighborhood.

I was what neighborhood were you supposed to be born? Like?

My name should be John? What deer? I'm just saying, I just had an I feel like I was born into the wrong body. I should be a farmer. That's right.

What are you taughting?

I identify as a farmer, just saying I love it.

The minute you go to get the hay and your back spasm.

Yeah, my arm, yeah, oh now it's over. Whatever.

The farm life's not for me.

It is for me.

Give me the Jefferson's on TV one.

Different strokes anyway. So there's some little flakes in here. I don't know what these round things are. There's I see some cranberries and some other kind of fruit.

Looks disgusted.

It feels like plastic pieces.

Yeah, listen to this here, that's a smr.

My arm hurts.

Come on, and you're gonna be balanced.

You can't lift a half gallon of milk. Yeah, but there's gonna be you farmer, Scott. I'm planted trees from farm land to fresh dairies.

Oh god, it smells like chips. Remember we're Scott. He would have Yeah, I'd love to you just have no time. M No, why no.

It's interesting. No, I don't think it's terrible. No, because if you get a piece of the sweet fruit, it's okay.

It's too chewy.

Look crunchy.

It's not grunchy. I just that is not good. I'm so sorry.

It is a little chewy. I got some chewi born. I don't know what that is.

No, hmm, I'm gonna give it two bowls. The taste isn't like foul, but everything in it is too much.

Foul is a bird. Foul is what you mean?

Well, thanks, Shakespeare, what do you give it?

I'm gonna give you two balls in a spoon. It's not really that bad. It's interesting. I don't know what those fruits are. I didn't get any almonds of mine.

It's too much. There's just too much. I don't like it when they give you like a grab bag of whatever was left in the factory and threw into a bag.

Well that's what it usefully is. It's just a big old mess of stuff.

I don't like it.

Okay, still not terrible.

Yeah, again, the taste isn't as bad as some of the other ones.

We've had something stuck in my tooth.

I hope it's not keen wah, me too. Oh so, why are you getting a crown again?

Okay, so my tooth is cracked.

Oh so, how'd that happen?

Get this? I don't know. I'm old. Three years ago I went to the dentist because I thought I had a cavity. You know, my tooth was cracked. She filled it with this epoxy bonding agent or whatever. She's like, that'll last about two weeks and you're gonna have to come back in. We'll put in the request for the crown whatever. This was three years ago. It just started hurting me, Like two weeks ago, isn't that crazy? It lasted so long. I'm like, can you just do that again?

Quick question.

I don't want to do any of it.

So three years ago when they said come back in two weeks, where you just like, I feel fine, cancel.

Yeah. I didn't come back ever, just for cleanings. And every time I would go for cleaning. Isn't that crazy? You said three weeks. Now it's three years, you know, and I just I would just that's it. Okay. Now this time it was getting sensitive, like I would get cold or hot there. I'm like, oh, you know, it's like that. So that like they put in for the request for the crown again, I don't want to do it.

What what was it.

Like? I don't want some foreign object in my mouth because I'm gonna keep going there with my tongue. And plus it's gonna be like super white when the rest of my teeth are not super white.

You know, yeah, prett white teeth.

Its gonna look stupid. Though.

Are you gonna get vinyears No, oh my god, Vianneers would be hysterical.

Why my teeth are great? No, you do have good I don't need them. That's when your teeth fall out and stuff, right, No, that's when you have meth mouth.

No. No, it's not just for that. Celebrities and actors do it all the time, because it's just like you have a permanently.

White he has it.

Yeah, he has been the years.

So I'm on American idol.

Of course you did.

Yeah, I am not okay.

Oh my god, don't even get me. He's a very nice man.

I love him.

I'm just a little exhausted, you know.

I mean I had the opportunity to take a picture with him at jingle Ball, and I was just so in awe, you know, country everything, and he was such a nice guy, and I didn't take a picture.

Whoa, that was a really good man.

Oh my back, I just leaned over it.

You're really in your farmer's lifestyle. Now it gets a parent.

You're gonna get a golden pitchfork. All right.

Yeah, I've been working on that phone all day. Just kid, I didn't do anything. I just hate cereal.

All right, you're ready for this. I don't know if you're ready for this. Oh no, not magic spoos. I'm sorry. This one is cinnamon roll. We've had a cinnamon one, but not cinnamon roll.

Okay.

It's grain free and he's riding a dragon.

Fun.

Look that's me on the farm. I don't know what's going on. I'll just ride this dragon. That's what it looks like. They're both saying, Ah, it doesn't matter if I ripped the boxers throwing it in the trash after this.

Anyway, No, if it we don't like it, you never know.

Everything's hurting, all of this stuff. I'm not even kidding. I turn and I get a pain.

That's what happens when you turn sixty.

Yeah, I guess it does not even close.

Dick, aren't you fifty four?

What are you talking about? I'm even fifty. I hate you so much, I really do. Anyway, So magic spoon, grain free. This is gonna be your your monk fruit and your your gross everything. And then again, you know what, we've knocked them and then we've had one or two good ones.

So true, it's nice when that happens, because then you don't feel as gaggy. Should I get the garbage can right now? I don't know.

Maybe should get my glasses so I could read the ingredients, so I'm kidding.

Really, let me hold it back even further.

I don't even see it.

Do you even have your glasses? Where are they?

I don't like them? Milk protein blend, Grandpa, monk fruit. Put them on I don't like these. I like the black ones I have at home better. Okay, I don't bring them out anywhere by the I need them, But I don't bring them out like I go to the restaurant and I put the light on and I do the phone zoom thing. Oh that's nice, it works. Milk troching glen.

Something tells me you're like thirty over.

No, it's just readers. There's nothing by these in the store.

Yeah, you know, Costco sells them for really cheap. I got mine at Warby Parker. Oh, you spent a lot more than you should have.

I know. Uh yeah. Oil blends sound, sunflower, tapioca stars, natural flavor, chickory root, agave, cinnamon, and salt. And it's got the the monk fruit you know.

Cool.

So here you go, okay, farm The first area is organic two percent reduced fat milk.

Oh god, that's not the right one.

I love the fancy spoons. Where'd they come from?

Uh? The kit underneath the water machine.

I get nervous. Somebody did something to them.

You didn't.

They don't leave just like fancy spoons like this.

Around yeah no, not around these parts.

No. I feel like someone ran out of toilet paper and used the spoon. Wha, Oh, no, you didn't even chew it. No, you didn't even chew it. You didn't even chew it.

No, it's like butter, Like it's like biting into butter. Yeah.

Uh, I mean it has a nice little cinnamon flavor. No it's not good. No, no, god, what Look, I just don't understand this. They're charging like ten or twelve dollars a box, and they sell who is eating this and going, yeah, now the ball please? I don't understand.

It's like eating flavored packing peanuts. It's not good.

I'm guessing maybe somebody that's never had cereal in their life, if this is the first thing they've ever had, I guess like, oh, it's all right, you know, it's only No, this is terrible. Now I'm giving it a ball.

I'm gonna give it a barf. Actually, no, I did have one. I'm gonna give it a spoon. It's too the initial taste. I don't know how you did a mouthful of it, because I put a couple in and it was like a burst of just like buttery over process. It's not that is not the way for me. I'm out, But.

I only chew on the right side of my mouth because if I chew over here your crown, the thing will fall out. Yeah, you're crown. I don't have the crown. I don't have the everything. No crown molding.

Oh it's gonna just break apart. Yes, you have chunks of tooth.

Yeah. I don't know what any of this is. Well, let's see what this is, because we'll be back right after this.

M what what a c k B?

Well we must have been playing a music game. Ah friends, Oh cool, we'll be right back.

Nineties everything and wait are bah?

I look at that? Ooh oh wow, we've got a meeting coming up? We do? Yeah, I don't want to go.

Wait, what's the meeting?

We have a stupid meeting at eleven o'clock? We do. What do you think I'm here for. I wouldn't be hanging around just to hang out with you.

Oh I thought you were.

We had a meeting in fifteen minutes.

Oh man, I thought you were really here for me.

Let's get to serial number three. Thank you again to our good friend. Matt said not the naked eating wings sign language Matt, the Matt, the other Matt that sends us cereals.

The way you just said that and it just rolled off your tongue so quickly. Naked eating wings sign language.

Remember he was gonna teach your sign language and his underwear.

No, no, I never accepted the offer, to be clear, Oh no, he was expecting you. I'm sure he was in his underwear while just sitting there doing asl.

So simply nature organic, non GMO coconut chia gonna get stuck in your teeth.

I didn't know cheeseas were so good for you.

I mean, how does your body even though they're there, they just you don't chew them or anything.

I don't know. I feel like they go in as like little bombs.

They just get explode, flushed out, you know.

But maybe they like are they like go through the lining.

Look at that clear Cereal bag. It is crystal clear. They really want you to see what's going on in that bag. No full transparency on these. Literally that was good. Too careful anyway, This is another believe it or not, Aldi brand. Andrew this from the supermarket All d which I call the garage sal Can I do it please, because they just you just walk in there. You can buy cereal. You can buy milk. You can buy tents, you can buy dog life preservers. They got everything in there.

Hey, do you know I lifted him up the other day. I lifted you up the other day.

You are strong. Yeah, I will tell you are a you're a house, You're a tank.

And I picked up scary too.

But yeah, you couldn't open this bag of cereal. Yeah, I don't understand. You got different kind of muscles in different places.

Yes, so yeah, those were inactivated.

Anyway. I love the big giant shavings of coconut. That's probably my.

Favorite one, even called. I feel like we just got distracted.

It's coconut, chia, granola, cereal. Please don't put my glasses on. I hate that.

Yes, of course, chia, simply nature.

Farmland fresh Daiies, reduced fat, two percent milk, reduced milk, organic, organic, Hold it, steady, hold it, steady, listen.

Bro, listen, bro. After this, I'm gonna head home. Soyer everything you see my keys, that's right, change Cooper's diapers and we'll see where it goes.

From so there's some big clusters in here. You see the cheese.

Have to watch Jeopardy at seven.

After World News Tonight. I cry. I cry from the last story every night.

World News Tonight is ABC.

Yeah, the UF guy. H. I like coconut. It's got a good natural coconut flavor. It's not over the top, it's not artificial. I like it.

It's just wonderful.

It's a good source of fiber.

I really, I will say the coconut taste a little bit sunscreeny.

Really for me, like you're eating some banana boat.

Yeah, get on the banana boat. When they used to.

Advertise, that's not how it went, yea, it was get on the boat. Yeah banana boat. Yeah. No, they get on the boat.

I will bet you ten dollars right now.

Work YouTube. When I started working here.

Go to the YouTube. So I feel like I have to look at you like this while I'm wearing your glasses. Can you go to YouTube?

When I started working here, we would we would give out banana boat. Little did I know these packets expired and I still used them twenty years later and got severe sunburn. I took cases of it in nineteen ninety five.

Just go to YouTube. I want to hear the.

Get on the Boat, yeah, Banana boat.

Yeah, it was get on the Banana Boat.

I don't like that one at all. I did. That's what I grew up with. We don't have YouTube on this computer.

What are you saying? My dad?

How good you get YouTube on this computer? Could I get it on my phone? All right? Here we go?

Mm hmmm mmmmm, Sorry what are you doing?

I'm typing banana boat?

There was banana boat song.

Banana Boat James. I want nineteen ninety five one though, So that's what I'm talking about.

You's are old?

Go up, Harry BELAFONTI what is this that one? Hold on? No? This is that? Hold on? Son?

You're putting the one you want, not the one I want.

Sunscreen? There's lots of banana boat things. What is this? That's Australia.

That's it? Is it?

This campy at banana boat?

We just spectrum sunscreen?

This is bad.

You're killing me.

Why is it all Australian?

Because I don't know. Maybe they come from Australia.

Sundown sunscreen. This is not this is not good. Oh here, this is newerru. Why do they what's with the ads? Does that how people make money.

Stays on and all sorts of conditions gives you simply.

Protect kids played without oxy ben zone protection you want?

You're actually killing me with how you're doing this.

Well, I don't need to tell you.

I give this four balls. I really like this one.

I also gave it four balls before you even said that. Okay, cool anyway.

Cool colored sun squad with very blue, groovy gray and bubble try sun blotch fun block cool color.

Cool, Yeah, disgusting also with no no singing whatsoever?

Can you just go to the first one.

Banana boat sunscreen?

It was just stop, please, please please, why are you doing?

Watch? What is with the Australian kid? We have you covered? Maybe it's this one here we go this from two thousand nothing. It says it's there, but it's not the same one, just like.

That child like that Australia.

It says Australia. It's says Australia. God, it says Australia, and it's from two thousand and three.

If it says get on the banana boat, I'm going to lose my mind.

It won't. Yeah, that's phenomena. Listen anyway, we gotta exist.

They did.

If you're watching the way, that's so loud, people are gonna yell because they're gonna have air pods in and who all through this stupid Yeah, let's see what happens.

Yeah, let's see.

Thank you for listening. Thanks for listening to this mess we called serial killers.

If you have if you remember this commercial, it was a banana boat sunscreen and they went get on the banana boat and it was all about banana boat sunscreen.

Get on the boat. Yeah, banana boat.

Yeah, not what I'm talking about.

That's the one that I know.

Not what I'm talking about. If you know it, please find it and send it to me.

Sar seeds everywhere. I know. I feel it. All right, we gotta go. Please follow us on Instagram at serial Killers PC, our friends at Farmland Fresh Dairies, also on Instagram and serial killerspc dot com. See all the ratings like follow, subscribe to all the things, and maybe buy one of the three T shirts have left. Yeah, all right, until we see you next time. Say crunch Andrew, Crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch, crunch bro. Yeah