Don’t Trust This Cereal

Ready go.

Hello, Hi Scott, Hi Andrew. Hi, how are you great?

Scott?

This is the Serial Killer's podcast. It is It's the podcast where we talk about cereal and we think inside the box.

They're not catching one.

Why not?

You know, it's just not a it's not a thing. That is a phrase that people use.

It's clever. I know you guys who like to eat cereal makes them come please.

So cereal. They cares, acquire, some get some retire. Stop stop stop?

Should I just stop that too? You're not into it?

I mean you did. I didn't tell you to do anything.

You were busy on your phone. You weren't even listening.

I am.

You don't even know the words of that song.

I do. I know two guys who like to eat some new serials, some acquired. It's Scott and Indy. Okay, well you give me just stop for a second, because let's start the podcast.

Positive with a review started positive.

Yes, let's start it from Macaroni x three hundred before you poo poo on my parade. We start with reviews. Now, yes, I'm very killers. This one's from Macarony x three hundred. Who I said in the last episode, Scott, you gotta be more positive, he said on April sixteenth, which Scott be prior to recording this episode, that we did this eddie,

So Andrew, give me your ideas. How would you like to start this episode?

I it's not even that, it's when I mentioned the website. It's when I mentioned things that we should be doing.

It's ever being Andrew. I want to know. Let's do it. Let's do it your way.

Scott, you could open the first box of cereal but when I mentioned the website, it's all about. When I mentioned the website, you're going it's sex. You mentioned the rating system, it's stupid.

Never said any YouTube page.

Who's watching that crab?

Never said it?

Yes, Scott, I need to go back and just cut out all the audio of you complaining. It would be a six part mini series in and of itself.

You see, you're you're doing this now, you're perpetuating the negativity. I didn't do anything you started right out.

I'm all about love and light. Let's let's go into this next seial with love and light.

Let's hang out with our friend Dennis from Parma, Ohio, Okay, who sent us a direct message a few days ago said have you done that? I said, nope. He sent it n A T shirt on the way for Dennis.

Thank you, Dennis.

Now, I wasn't sure what to think of this cereal. Never saw it, never heard of it before. It was very intriguing to me, okay, because I believe hold on, let me just get.

Your butt crack is out.

Stop looking.

I'm trying not to, but I'm looking that way because I have to face you.

And then when you go down, it's just it's a grain free cereal. I'm not sure if it's a keto free, a keto friendly cereal. It's called Trust.

It has the same thing like the the quia. Yes, the window, Yeah, I love the window.

It's called Trust. Trust Foods is the company. It's I would assume it's a cereal company that's kind of like cereal school, you know. But this one says that it's made from egg whites. What it says made from egg whites ingredients egg whites, pea flour, sunflower oil, tapioca starch, pea protein, sugar, yes, aluos, natural berry flavor, salk, monk fruit, stevia. You know, Dennis, I was excited for a second and then you had to get this. See why is it sugar, monk,

Scott, I don't know what to tell you, but I mean, I feel like, let's go in with an open mind, in open hearts. I don't get the oh, I don't like the way it opens.

I have a Steve sha problem. Okay, this just gained back any points it may have lost, So I will give it a shot, and I'm gonna tell you why. Andrew Well First of all, the bag is tiny as expected, but oh that is er It has a zipsy all genius. Right, this is such a small little pouch for that box.

I'm gonna sound really dumb.

Yeah, oh what.

But egg whites? I feel like, how do you how do you make a cereal with egg whites?

We're about to find out, buddy boy.

Shouldn't those go bad? And like cause it's like a refrigerated product.

I have a question when you make cookies and you use eggs, do they go bad? No? Same thing.

So they just baked a cereal with egg whites and just put it in a box and that's what makes it special. Yes, huh okay.

That's the selling point for this Trust cereal made with egg whites. What is the berry flavor?

What is there? Like? So their thing is just like, we're different because we do egg whites.

It's grain free, a completely grain free, low sugar delicious puff made from egg whites. Don't ever be afraid to show the real you at Trust Foods. We want to believe in something better, something that is meaningful, radical, transparent.

They must be from California, Yeah, most definitely. Right, Hey man, you know what, I just like hate. I just hate how like the industry man, it's like not great, Like, don't to make a cereal with egg whites man, Miami. Oh okay, that's that's shocking, right, that is very shocked.

Do you need a new spoon, Andy, Uh?

Yeah, I threw mine out.

They look cool. They look cool.

It's a Verry cereal. If I said the cereal looked cool, you would tell me flat out I don't have the cereal by the way. Here, you would tell me flat out what's so cool about it? Andy? Tell me what's cool about it?

Everything's washing off. Let's go one two fragrant No, no, huh no, No, here's what it tastes like re pot and you will agree. Well, oh sorry, Dennis.

Holy hell, that is disgusting.

You know any of these cereals that are like Facebook adsh no, no, no bowls, no spoons.

Yeah, I'm on, I'm on that train.

Got it just tastes like I just ate a crunchy pea.

Or the pink bubblegum medicine used to get as a kid. But there were two different ones. There was the one that was like good, and then there were no you said it the faked store brand yes, yeah, and the fake store brand when it's what this tastes like.

What it tastes like in the beginning is if when you were a kid and you made jello, then you mixed up the jello with the water before it hardened and you drank that. That's what it tastes like at the beginning, and then it just goes even more to hell.

I don't like it.

Nope, what do you give it?

Nothing?

No, nothing, I don't like it. Dennis, you tried, and I'm guessing you probably paid about seventeen dollars a box, so I really do appreciate it.

We hope the shirt, you know, makes it a little better.

But wait, there's more.

God no, not egg whites.

How about chocolate? No? Wait, you don't want to try another one? Now we have no choice? No, thank you, Dennis, He sent to.

Why Dennis, why are you torturing us?

We'll just bang it out real quick because we know it's going to be disgusting.

But the chocolate's gonna taste worse than the berry.

I don't know about that.

It is, and I can tell you why, because it's gonna be like that disgusting taco meat powder on top of egg whites.

Taco meat powder.

Yeah, why do you always call it that because it tastes like it? It doesn't, Yes, it does. I've had enough or write a taco mix.

In my life to notice Rider does not make taco meat.

They make taco seasoning that you put on the meat.

Orda. Do you mean Oldel Passo?

No?

Ora does, No, they don't. When you're proven wrong, right now, I'll apologize. I've never seen all ride a taco in a blue box. No, that's where Taga Andrew.

You're an idiot.

I'm an idiot or Taga? Well, why are you even looking it up?

Well?

Borida is a potato company. L l ol.

Well it looks like here you go. The old Andrew's wrong. Well, you know I threw out my spoon because I did it in a fit of rage. Can I, Well, I apologize for being wrong. I can be the bigger person.

And say if I was incorrect, I would step up.

You wouldn't, Yes, I would, because you'd find like a technicality, Well, technically it's an option of a brand.

Ready, you want to do like good chocolate whatever? At first, there comes.

It's like going surfing. Can you prepare for the wave.

I will say the chocolate one is much better, well, not much, but it's edible.

This gets a bowl. It's edible, period.

This one doesn't punch you in the face with that after taste. Yeah, although now it.

Is, it's a little that's a.

That's the problem with these Peace cereals. You taste after if it's in your mouth for more than ten seconds. You taste the lentils.

Yeah, it's a little too crunchy as well.

Yeah.

I don't know why they're so crunchy. This gets one bowl, and trust Cereal, if you want to put our review on the box, we're saying it's edible. One bowl.

Because I didn't spit it out. I'll give it a spoon.

Yeah, but that's it. Yeah, it's nothing. Why are you drinking the milk?

Because I feel like it had a nice chocolate flavor. Okay, but I don't taste that in the milk at all.

I just that was terrible. You brought me here to do a no bowler and a bowl. Cereal.

I don't know what to do.

Now, give me something sweet.

You want something sweet?

Yeah? Okay, Andrew, Oh my, I got my allergies.

Bless you, Thank you, bless you.

It's allergy season or do you have bad allergies?

I don't. I don't. I really have no allergies at all.

I'm so jealous of you.

All right. So a couple of weeks ago we spoke about this, dude. I know, I put it in here. Where the hell is it? I don't know. So if you grew up on the East Coast, yeah, I can't find this now. I'm so annoyed. I put this in here today.

I can't stop tasting now, like a berry chocolate, but like a bad berry chocolate.

Ugh, this is a This is a problem because I put it in here and I can't find it.

Well, it's not the end of the world. Let's just do the cereal and then if you find it, you can interrupt yourself.

Oh there, I found it, all right, so great back in the I don't know eighties.

Okay, So I'm not gonna know this one.

No you will. No, you'll know this one because if you grew up on the East this is mainly it was mainly an East Coast chain. They've since expanded to the entire country. I believe in like malls and stuff like that. Anti ends. No, it's an ice cream company, Carvel. It is Carvell Hey now, Tom Carvell was the founder of Carvell. Gravelly voiced old man used to drive an ice cream truck way back in the day as ice cream melted, and that became soft serve, and that's how it was born.

Carvell was Actually there was one by my house and I dropped the milkshake in my mom's old Volvo station Wag and the first week she got the car, the whole car smelled like puke for three years.

Yeah, that dried ice cream that sour grows yep. Anyway, so I found a commercial of gravelly voiced old Tom Carvel. This one was the Saint Patrick's Day commercial, because you know, they had, you know, Fudgie the Well and who Fudge Fudge of the Well and Cookie Puss and all those hilarious characters that were basically just the same mold, and they flipped it upside down and it became a different character. Like Fudgie the Well was Santa. When you turn them

Great for Saint Badger's Day.

Your Carmel's door has cookie Oh Puss, you know, nice cookie push. But he's dressed up like an irishman. And then we have hugged mey old bear. Hell, you dressed up like an irishman too. They made his cakes. They're just added some beautiful made only in the car Bell stores using Creamium quality fresh Carmel ice cream. Please go to your Carmel dealer and ask to see their entire ice cream cake line. Thank you, folks, and have a nice day.

I mean, I do like the fact that he was always so polite because he said thank you with the end of every commercial that he made.

Hey, it sounds almost like one of those automated phone calls you'd get, Hi, hug Carvell. Have you tried an Irish cooka puss? If you should? Thank you very much.

He's dressed like an irishman.

He is a commercial.

No no cookie oh Puss is they said, he said an irishman. You really wouldn't say that anymore. I don't think.

I mean, maybe you would.

Yeah, I don't know, not that it's offensive.

But you just you know, yeah, you never know.

Yeah. So you remember the whole thing with a free cigle that they were giving out right now, Yes you do, Andrew. It was on our Instagram Crunchy cereal, you know. Before we get there, let me play this other commercial from Carvell. Oh boy, this is my favorite. This one. They would never be able to play today because it's offensive. Oh boy, and it mentions me like toward the end.

Okay, any great, Scott is that?

Why? No? But you know they had a line of ice cream, you know, for people that were watching their weight.

Oh my gosh, this is I remember this one.

Here we go.

This tastes like Carvelle ice cream, but it really is an ice.

Cream, charl And that's a contradiction. And it's made fresh at Carvell. Tell me Moore, and it only has eighteen and a half calories, but flew it down. Well, you're gonna give me some comes in lots of flavors and even in cake. What is it?

Feed me?

Feed me?

It's annythin a dietary frozen dessert and I got it at Carvel.

Yeah, anything for fatty fats like you come on, give me some okay here it's all yours.

Hey, you finished? Anything for fatty fats like me.

Yeah, no, no, that would never be played.

So that's spectacular. Like those people were not in the commercial. All you saw was a bowl of ice cream and a spoon and that was it.

Well.

I was going through my closet in Florida when I went to school there at my parents' apartment there, and I realized I made a shirt when I went to school that they sold at the school that said suck it in. No, no, what was it? Suck it great?

This is great.

Can we get to the cereal soak it up?

Soak it up and suck it in cool? Oh my gosh, No, it was you figure that out.

I figure it out.

So a couple of weeks ago. It was actually on April Fool's Day. They put out a tweet and an Instagram post and they said, coming April sixteenth, when you buy a Carvelanche at any one of our shops, get a free box of Crunchies Cereal a caravel Land Carvalanche. It's one of the one of their ice cream creations. It's a Sunday with the little crunchies on it, you know, the crunchy. They're famous for their crunches. They're in the

I mean, I don't really go to Carvelly scarred When I was a young kid dropping the milkshake I had. I just I have bad feelings.

Oh I tell you. One year on passover passover fell whenever it was, and so they had cakes and Carvell for passover with no crunchies in the middle. Like a Carvel cake is not a carbl cake without crunchies.

What can I just say, isn't a crunchy just essentially an oreo that's broken up pretty much? So like, have they just got us all to be like all? They're known for their crunchies, which is just crunched up oreo.

They taste little different, you kid, It's not oreo because it's not anyway. So I went to the Carvel shop and I said, you know what, I'm gonna get two boxes of cereal. So I got two carvelanches, one for Ashley one for Cooper. And I said, man, I have two boxes please, And he said, oh yeah, where'd you hear about it? I said Instagram. He said, okay, let me get that for you. So he went down under

Oh gosh, this this.

Is this is the crunchy cereal.

This is a scam.

I could put my fingers around it. And also it's not cereal. It's just a box of crunchies.

This is what is that called when it's like a floor of a hotel. When it's a floor of a hotel, you can go and eat at.

A floor of a hotel.

You can go and yes, like you were given the blank floor where they serve breakfast in the morning or they serve like it's.

A continental breakfast. Yes that's what you were thinking of.

Yes, that's continental breakfast size. Yeah, look at that where it's like, oh you got to run to the airport. Oh, but I can only eat this one box of cereal and it's a mini box.

Yeah, well you know, but the thing is that it's not cereal. These are literally carvel crunchies that they that they want you to eat as cereal. I mean I don't think you can get them anymore? What Yeah, no, no, no, it's not cereal.

Am I just not getting milk?

Oh? Yeah, sorry, this is going to be delicious. Basically, this is like eating cookies and milk.

This is not a cereal.

No, it's not. Well, you know what, at the end of the day, most of the cereals that we eat are not cereal. They should not be eating for breakfast. So this is no different than you know, most sugar. Sir. Oh, look at that. First of all, they've already gone soft, and the water is yellow, I mean the milk is yellow.

To eat.

Yeah, it's delicious, but it's a cookie. It's broken up cookie piece. It's just carbl crunchies.

But the other thing about this is that they're all going to sink and then it's going to be left with milk at the top.

This isn't right because basically what this is is a cup of melted ice cream. No, no, it's delicious.

I don't think so.

I don't even know who's your rate it because not something people can get.

I don't think I don't like it.

I'm going to give it four bowls just because cookies and milk.

I'm giving it two bowls and a spoon. Actually two bowls. It's it's just broken up cookie. It's soggy cookie.

That's what it is.

They just call it Carvell SOGGI cookie cereal. Okay, and what does he say at the end. I appreciate you, thank you, thank you. Oh you know what, Cereal Killers.

No, I think this episode was kind of a letdown.

Yeah, I mean so it was.

I was shopping the other day. Okay, you know what, I'm not going to do this one because I want to have props and stuff and I forgot So, you know what, let's not do it.

I didn't get you the clown you wanted either.

Where's the clown?

I didn't get it in time.

The Circus Fun clown is not here.

The Circus Fund clown. I yeah, it just didn't come.

Can we take back a jingle that already played? Yeah, I don't want to do this one. Do you have a reverse button? Like, do you have a reverse sound effect? Yes, I'm going to play it in reverse?

Yeah, just do that.

I can't okay, it doesn't work like that.

I mean, you can't find a song that has like a tape screech in it or something.

No, we'll do this one next week. Okay, I'm sorry.

That's a tease it. Oh oh, where is it on the next Serial Killers?

Yeah? You just said it. I can't even find it.

Wait, is this a It is new bull Chat this Wednesday, folks.

Really?

Yeah, we haven't recorded it yet. This is like the first time I'm teasing a bull Chat where we haven't actually done it yet.

It's the right thing to do. What that's Wilford Brimley?

Oh is that the hint?

No?

So you just want to play Wolford Brimley, Rip Rip Wilford.

All right, let's go. Yeah, we're done.

I feel like you are on some chaotic energy right now, and I don't know how to what's going on.

I don't know. Maybe I wasn't prepared for this episode.

I mean, you gave us two egg white cereals and some crunchies, so I.

Feel I'm also sweating.

I okay, there's a lot happening in your life.

I have to lay down.

Okay.

Thank you for listening to Serial Killers.

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Yeah, leave us reviews.

We love, love, love reading your reviews. Tune in this Wednesday for an all new Bowl Chat. It's our bi weekly series where we just talk about life.

I have a question. Yeah, what if someone is listening to this not on Monday and they listening to it on Thursday and you just said this Wednesday.

Scott, don't even because we've gone over, Like is it a Monday?

What's the monday?

When we used to do Friday episodes, we used to talk about like.

What day is it?

Let's not okay, let's start off positively.

The Crunchies have completely disintegrated.

This is it's Yeah, this was not good. This was not a good episode.

Like when you put a cookie in milk and just let it sit there and just turns down.

Yes, but break up the cookie in advance as well.

However, I do give them props because I'm sure a lot of people went to the stores looking for this stuff and they bought the carvel lanch Sunday carvel so they probably sold a lot of carvlange.

It's called a carvelanch.

Well it's like an avalanche, but they just put a sea in front of it.

Oh my god, I would have never thought that.

See you next week. Thank you for listening, have a great week, stay safe, and until we see you again. If we see you again, say Crunchies, Andrew, I mean crunch that was a good one.

I'll give you that.

That was good. Crunch Crunch crunch, crunch Yay. The milk is yellow. It's good. Though I would drink.

It, it's not. I'm not a fan. I have like this episode to end now, okay,