Cocoa Poops

no actual facts. This is not alternative facts. This is the truth. Ten am. You stand by my desk, going so busy, and so then I come in here ten twenty after I said twenty minutes later, I'll be ready, and you were like, okay, okay whatever. I come in here and you're like, what's going on? Oh my god? So were you ready or were you not ready? I was? But then we had a deuce something Andrew, this is no one wants to hear all this. They do. Welcome to Serial Killers. This is the podcast where we talk

about cereal. We eat it, we try it, We let you know whether you want it or not. We rate it, and it's really hot in here today because the air conditioning is broken. Did you notice that it's warm? Look at it. It's normally seventy two, but it's all the way up at seventy five right now. Anyway, So we're gonna eat cereal, okay, and it's gonna be an exciting day. Excit. And one of them that we're gonna have I really don't want to have because I don't want to do

what's in the title. But maybe we'll just get that one out of the way first, okay. Whatever. So our friends at you know, Poop like a champion, you remember them. Yeah, they reached out and they were gonna send us the new Graham one a couple of months ago, but the Graham one it never came for whatever reason. So then they reached out again a couple of weeks ago and like, we have a new cocoa chocolate one, and I said,

that's awesome. We would love to try it, but maybe you could throw in a box of the Graham also, because Graham, we've been through this. No, that's like cocaine a Graham, you know. No, it's not like cocaine that a Graham is a weight. Graham is a cracker. Right, you're just trying to get into the We've done with it. We've done this already anyway, so let's get past this. So look, it's poop like a Champion Coco Ultra Fiber Cereal. So I feel like this Cereal start off as a joke.

I agree, but then it's now they're like really expanding. They have a legit logo. Now they have like okay, so this box art is the same one as the Magic Spoon. That's the exact same graphics. They must have went on Canva. I could tell because I use these graphics for my koozies. So whatever your box art artist is literally just is using free graphics on CANBA. That's fine. Saves the money, doesn't it. I'm not going to complain, right the number one High Fiber Cereal for number two's

it's poop like a champion. Yay. We've tried a couple of their other ones and they were decent. If I recall, yeah, I actually like poop like a champion the original. Oh boy, we should have done this one last. Okay, So again, as I say, what, you curate it perfectly quote unquote, you're flustered to start and you're making a seat chocolate first, to which you were then saying this was a bad idea. I don't mean because of it, I don't do it.

I don't mean because chocolate quickly. I mean because it's going to make us go run down to the bathroom, which is actually closed for cleaning right now, so there could be a pro room. It's always closed for cleaning. I got a problem with that. They do it at the wrong time. I told them to do it later. I said, do it at eleven when everyone's out of here, or why not just clean it at five o'clock in the morning before everybody gets here. Yeah, I will say

sometimes on Mondays like that bathroom. I don't know what the weekend people do at this radio station, but they are missing the bowl. I'm sorry, Oh, I'm just saying, no, you walk, it's it. It is nasty. I got you, all right, Andrew, poop like a samp, poop like a Champion Cocoa Ultra Fiber Cereal. I'm gonna go back to the Farmland Fresh Maury's fridge. What I thought you were just gonna like forget the milk. No, no, no, Usually you put the spoon in after Farmland Fresh Dairy is

organic two percent reduced fat milk. Yep, it's my favorite. This is my favorite in the line of Farmland Fresh Dairies milk. We're going soon, that's what I have our date set. Well, No, we don't. I thought we did well. I sent you an email and you never responded. Well, you just can read my mind. Okay, if that Friday is okay, then all right, here we go. They are little, there's small, little pellets. I guess I will say. It

looks like rabbit poop. Okay, it's gonna be honest. It smells great, though, club It's reminiscent of another You know what it tastes like. It tastes like the crunches from Carbell, right a little bit almost. What do you mean you never had a carvel cookie puss? What does that mean? You grew up in New Jersey? Okay, car Bell? Okay, you've never had car Bell crunch ice cream cunch? I remember you never had a Carvelle ice cream cake ever? Maybe, but you're how old? Thirty? What now too? And you've

never had a Carvelle ice cream birthday cake ever? In thirty fist get yelled at so I'm shutting down. Okay, I don't remember ever having one. That's not to say I haven't had one, it's just that isn't for me. It tastes more like a fudge popsicle. A fudge popsicle. Yeah, we've been through this. There's no such thing, Andrew, We've been through this, deer. There's no such thing. Remember, it was a whole thing on Wheel of Fortune and it was wrong, and Popsicle Company actually even tweeted me, and

we're like, yeah, you're right, it's wrong. Got it. It's because that's a fudgical. Oh got it? Yeah, Well it tastes like that to me, a fudgical how because it does it's frozen. No, it's the taste of the chocolate tastes like that to me. I give it three bowls. Oh all right, I'm gonna give it four balls. Oh well, it's got good flavor, it's not overpowering. It's gonna make you poop. And I could will say I believe they're claim that this cereal will make you poop. I mean,

it's just a lot of fiber. It's very dense, right, Yeah, Hey, you know what, at the end of the day, everything you eat will make you poop, just saying, right, But I guess maybe this just pushes it along a little faster. Yeah, okay, up, sure, Fiber, I like it. Four balls. Good job, guys, and we'll try the Graham one in the weeks to come. What does it matter? Where are they from? Actually? Okay, Delaware? Delaware?

Nice and close? Close. Yeah, Delaware is very close. Delaware has the closest Carl's Junior to hear or is it Arby's mate Hardy's Hardies? Is it Hardy's? Yeah, I couldn't tell you. They're the closest Hearties to us is in Delaware. Oh okay, cool. You know what Harties is? Yeah, it's the cheeseburgers. It's carl Juniors. It's the cheeseburgers. It's the Carl Junior Cheeseburgers. Yeah, it's the same thing. Yeah. You know, in like one area of the country it's Carls Junior

and another area it's Hardy's. Yeah, just like best Foods and helmets. Yeah, yeah, that's what I was going to say, best foods. What and hellman, you don't even know what that is? The mayo? Yeah, yeah, if you're if you're west of the Mississippi. It's Best Foods, Best Food East. It's Helman's Helman's. It's interesting, isn't it super interesting? Like I feel like we could talk all day about this. I thought we really shouldn't because we have podcasts to do.

So next cereal. Look, there's the big corporate meeting going on to the background that we're not even paying attention to. Yeah, that's good that we're gonna air this with us saying we don't watch the corporate We're gonna get in trouble. I see him talking. But what if we just went to the next cereal? Okay, all right, So the next cereal was sent to us by our good friends at

General Mills in the big box of new cereals. This is one that I also bought already, so you know, but this one's this one's interesting to me, okay because it's Reese's Puffs. But it's all peanut butter. Yes, it's peanut butter lovers, I am so excited for this. Are you a peanut butter lover? I love peanut butter. Really, I am a crunchy fan. Did you just see the idea that went into my head? I mean, I'm not gonna do it because you know I don't mix things.

But this yeah, wow wow, Then again, that would just be Ese's regular reason. Jenna taste exactly like peanut butter crunch. That's impossible. That's General Mills. What's peanut butter crunch? Uh, that's the cap'in Oh, cap'n Crunch, peanut butter one. Yeah, the peanut butter crunch. Also, that's Quaker. Yeah, but it's called peanut butter crunch. Okay, no, no, no, no, no, no, you're making it seem like capping capping crunch. All you

said was peanut butter crunch. I didn't know what that meant. Oh, you just have no idea what I mean when I say I want peanut butter crunch. Honestly didn't. Of course, I'm not even kidding, not even kidding. I take it there seriously. I would do my library of a thousand plus cereals and thought to myself, what could he possibly mean when he says capping crunch. By the way, there's two new cap'n crunches that we're gonna try pretty soon.

Thanks to our friend Matt. He sent us one of them and the other one is at Walmart that I have to go pick up. So General millim right here? No, that he sent us that oatmeal? Oh cool, yeah, Captain crunch oatmeal. So it's from General Mill's New Teresa's past peanut butter love and it's just all peanut butter, no chocolate, sweet and crunchy corn puffs. I would like to eat it now, ball eat dust day my eyes? Can you please pour the milk in the cup? Are Farmland Fresh

Dairies two percent organic milk, thank you? You know. And it's especially important for it to be cold. It needs to be ice cold milk. Yeah what two, three, four? Let's go. Mm hmm. Wich smells it smells like a Recae's peanut butter cup. There's no doubt about it. Yep, I love it. I know what you're about to say, five balls. You know what it tastes like to me? What? No? So when I was a kid, I loved Reese's pieces.

Loved Yeah, it tastes I still like them. If you I would, I would do that thing where I'd be sitting like a movie or something, and I would suck on the Reese's Pieces and try to finish it all the way down to like not chewing it, but I never could. I always had to chew it. And that's what this taste like. It tastes like like the last bite of a Reese's pieces or a Reese's piece, Okay, just before it's completely melted, and then I chew it. And that's what this tastes like. Oh wow, it's bringing

back childhood memories. That's great. I'm really happy to hear that. Did you watch that when you saw et? I don't think I saw ET in the theater. I cried when I was nineteen eighty four. I must have I was nine years old. Unless I was deprived as a child, I must have seen it in the theater. I'm giving you four bowls in a spoon. I can't give it quite five. It is good, though it doesn't taste exactly like tabing crunch peanut butter crunch. No, and this one

doesn't rip your roof of your mouth. I would say that. Oh that's cool. Email. Yeah, all right, we're gonna be back right after this, all right, Eddie, alright, so it's the right thing to do. Edward back, how's that hole for you? Not? It'll work. It's a ten minutes and fifty seconds. Can you write that down? Sure, no problem. So next you're not gonna like it? Why, well, our friend Matt sent es this one. Also, let me tell you something. This guy, Matt, he's a good dude. Okay,

he is constantly sending us boxes and stuff. Matt's great. Good. Like, we need to send him something. Okay, let's end him a shirt. I feel like I've sent him a shirt already. We need to come up with some merch we do. We keep saying, March, We really keep saying we should. What do people want? I think we should just have one that says Crunch the show name. Okay, so because it's not what you like, maybe on the back you

just want a shirt that says Crunch. I mean that could be anywhere, that could be anything, Okay, I don't care. Can you put a QR quote on it so they can listen? No, you should put a QR quote on the back that way when people are walking behind somebody. Such a great idea. It's really not. If I saw a QR quote on someone's T shirt while I was walking behind him, I'd be curious and I would click it. No, that's just asking for creepers. What are you talking about, Hey,

I saw your shirt? Can I scare it with my phone? You don't have to because it's on your back. It's weird, don't You would never know? Now, I would totally take a picture someone's back. I know you would, and that's weird. I think we're gonna do it. We're not. I'll tell you that much. Then I'm gonna get stickers cool QR code stickers. Whoa brad, You're such a jerk. You're the one who wants to go up to people and be like, no, I don't want to tap them. I just start doing

I want to do it incognito. I just want to do it, not tell me. So you want to take pictures of people creepily in public, up their shirts, the back of their shirts, I'm scanning your code. Yeah, but you're gonna stand there. If someone's standing like over there, you're gonna be like and the person gonna turn around to be like, what the hell are you doing? Why you're taking pictures of me? They'll know what's on their back.

Like I was driving next to a poppy truck the other day and there was a QR code and I took it and I got a free can what what what? What's the matter? They're very useful. What's some problem? I'm sure? No, you know what, dude, I don't know you and I are not on the save way leg wave length. Yeah. When it comes to putting QR codes on the back of a shirt so someone, the one person could scan it, I think it's really clever. QR codes are disgusting looking. There is no way to make a nice QR codell.

It puts a little logo in the middle somehow. Oh yeah, so let me just anyway do that. I shouldn't have saved this one for last, because you've gotta be upset and angry. Cool. So it's Barbara's shredded Wheat, and believe it or not, we never did this one big biscuit cereal. Barbara's got some big biscuits, big old biscuits. Yeah. I don't even know if Barber's still alive. I think we researched that at some point. Yeah, it's probably not because I believe Oh oh bro okay, b yeah, no, come on,

reach in and grab one of those. Huh oh. They're like, yeah, it's not just like a ton of pouches. It's the one shredded weight. No, but the the chimlay, I'm sorry. The what do you talk? It's like the one that has the mountain in the back, and it's like we did something like this that came in a package. Oh oh, we weed a bicks. There you go, weed a bix. Yeah. You never would have remembered. You never would have remembered that. Kids, why I was saying, I don't know what it is?

Can you help me? You were correct? How come you can't remember stuff? You have so much going on in your world? Yeah? I mean me too, kids and all? Yeah, here you go, here you go, buddy, Oh my god, what do you even do with this? I think mine? I gave it to you. I think you're supposed to break it up, are you? It's just it's just a giant hunk. Look at that. It's it's crazy. What do you do with it? You know what? I think? I want to do it? Mine pour milk in the middle.

I'm gonna do this. I'm gonna put milk from Farmland Fresh Dairies in the cup. Can you pour mine? I'm gonna take I'm gonna take the spoon away. You want to pour it right down the center the center. All right, here we go. It's like a bird's nest. Speaking of we should get ramen after this. I have a couple of things that I gotta get out of here. I gotta get out of your kids. I gotta start my room bus. So she backed up the house from she's

waiting for him. Oh who's that guy? Sorry're squirreling over here and he's in his house. How can he's not even here? Yeah? All right, So I must be a real important meeting if we all can't make it right? Okay, So what I the way I'm gonna eat this because think you're supposed to break it apart. So I'm just gonna pick it up and eat it like a biscuit. I'm oh, oh okay, this room is gonna smell like vomit. For the rest of it is my milk everywhere, all right. I was smart and what I oh? Okay, I poured

mine down the center. It is now a consistency that I can eat. Hm. And now it's not good. It's not bad. I mean it's not very convenient, that's for sure. There's no taste whatsoever. It just tastes like it tastes like outside. I would say, it's like dry pasta, which I personally love. I eat it out of the box, crunchy beckon, you gotta be careful, you break your teeth. My mom's been telling me that for about thirty two years, and well, I didn't have teeth. My kids do that too,

but no, I love eating crunchy pasta. What's your favorite shape? Okay, so I thought about it. I love a good bow tie, okay, but the middle of the bow tie is usually very rough. So a penne is also good too, all right. If I'm gonna if I'm gonna eat it raw, I like just a big hunk of a spaghetti. Hang. I like the thick one though. See, I gotta tell you I am not a spaghetti fan. I've never been a spaghetti fan.

I love spaghetti. I like the when it's al dente, especially Penney pasta with that little bit of I made pasta last night, and I made the little The little penny is the smaller. It was like penny rigged rigged penny something. I know. It's a small little one. It's called mesa mesa something or other because it's a little small mela. I don't know. But my favorite favorite shape and it's hard to find sometimes. I've only seen Ronzoni make it. It's tubular totally, and it's a big long.

It's a big long. It's almost like a really really thick spaghetti, but there's a hole in the middle, almost like a licorice. You know, it's my favorite, all right, So what are you giving this? I'm just gonna give it a bowl in a spoon because it really doesn't have any flavor. Same, it's not if you like, you like nothing, just eat this. If I'm stuck somewhere and this is the only thing I have to like, I think this would actually take away nutrients if I ate

this on an island. But it's not bad. I mean if you were stuck at a mountaintop like an avalanche, yeh, this would be great for you. Probably not convenient packages. I don't know. This will bind you up. This is this is the opposite of Oh my god. So right now in our bellies we have things fighting. Poop like a chips, poop like a champion, and shredded wheat. They're fighting each other right now. It's like, I'm gonna bind you up, I'm gonna spit you out, and it's just

like they're they're arguing right now. So I'm gonna have a stomach ache, and ten minutes from now it's gonna be wonderful. I'll call you from the car, I think so much. I love those calls. All right, So what did you give it? I'm sorry you didn't say. I gave it the same score you did one one? Yeah. Cool. Thank you so much for listening to Serial Killers. It's always a pleasure to have you here. We thank you

for putting up with our our shenanigans. We thank our good good friends at Farmland Fresh Dairies for sponsoring this podcast. Please follow them on Instagram at Farmland Fresh Dairies. Check us out at serial Killers PC and everything you need at serial killerspc dot com. By the way, have you noticed that I think that Newman is making some money off of us? Have you seen? No? Sure? When the last time you checked our website? There's ads? H oh, No,

I gave Newman that you did? Yeah? Oh thanks Newman. Yeah, there's all kinds of ads on it now. Yeah, I know I did that for us. Okay, So do we make money from that? Yes, a lot, I don't think so. But what kind of pills are those. It looks like Cellular Health and Optimization elysium. Oh I've heard of them. That's that kit that you spit in the thing. Oh yeah, it tells you your biological age. Yeah I did that, but you know what, I'm not going to say here

told you you were sixty five. No it didn't. It didn't. But I don't understand. So I spit in the thing. It's like you're forty eight. I'm like, I know. And then that was it. But well, now we have ads, I should check just to see. That's a lot, right, There is a lot going on here. Click all of them, nobody, there's a lot going on. Yeah, you can't even find the cereals anymore. I'm not sure if I like this any shocker Scottie hates getting things monetized. On the next

Serial Killers, he takes down the whole podcast. Go check out serial KILLERSPC dot com and you'll see what we're talking about. Until we see you on Wednesday with a bull chat perhaps thank you so much for listening, and uh say Crunch and Drew Corunch heybye, soy. That episode seemed forced