Chocolate Eggo Waffle Cereal?!?

Here we go. I know, yeah, I'm just gonna stop. Welcome to Serial Killers. How you doing, Andy?

I'm great? How are you, Scott?

Great? It's episode one fifty nine. It's Monday, December twenty eighth. I hope you had a wonderful Christmas, my friend, thank you.

I hope you had a great Chrishnica.

I had a great both of them. Thank you very much. COVID. Andy, how are you feeling?

I feel fine. I just get tired all the time.

I know you were just passing out while we were trying to work out the audio issues.

Yeah. I'm not sure if that's side effective, long term side effective COVID, but I just get intensely tired out of nowhere.

Okay, Well, this is Serial Killers. It's the podcast where we talk about cereal and we think inside the box and.

You're still a year and a half later trying to make that slogan work. Good for you, Scott.

This is the last episode of twenty twenty. Is that exciting?

It is very exciting. Unfortunately, the Spoonies had to be canceled this year due to COVID. You know, all the biggest award shows got canceled this year and we were not immune to.

That, that's right. I mean we could have done it virtually, but it just it just didn't work out that way.

No, you know, you had to get all the participants in it just it was so difficult and it's it was just a hard process.

Okay, shall we get started with a cereal that very well may have taken the Best New Cereal Spoony if we had the awards this year. Are you ready?

Yeah, I'm in now.

I just I just dropped off a bunch of cereal to your apartment because you know, I had to get it to you fast.

Yeah, this is it was like a drug deal, but with cereal.

You came out in your shorts and I just kind of threw a plastic bag out the window. And by the way, just on my way back, I did the most scotty thing ever. While I was waiting for you to finish doing whatever you were doing, I said, you know what, I have a subway gift card. I'm gonna go out and get in a subway sandwich. So I walked to the regular subway that's you know, behind the building out of business walk.

Yeah, being out of business for like a year.

Now, Oh, I don't eat there much, obviously, So then I walked to the other one by the parking garage, also closed.

Yeah, So then.

I searched on my phone and there was another one on Chamber Street, which was like a ten block walk. So I walked in forty mile an hour whipping winds with no gloves or hat and I was snotting inside my mask because it was so cold. And I walked all the way there and I got my meatball sandwich, so, oh god, I basically killed myself for five dollars free on a gift card.

Everything about it, from the fact that there was snot in your mask to then getting a meatball sub from Subway, it just the visuals are not not great. I'm just gonna be honest with you.

I threw the mask away, so.

Okay, good, I mean I would hope though.

All Right, So what I'd like you to do is pull out all the bags in your stash there andrew that have a little one on them.

Okay, this one? Is this a one or an upside down seven?

I can't well, we're not doing seven cereals, so that's it. I want you to keep that bag in your hand, the one that looks like brown honey.

This one that's a two.

Hello, that's a three?

Right?

Hello dude, the one you just had, Okay, got him the one that looks like brown honeycomb. Could you pick that up? Please? Do you have any idea what that is?

Yeah? It's the chocolate Eggo Waffle Cereal.

Say thank you, Secret Squirrel, Joel.

Thank you for ey friend Joel.

This was his Christmas present to us.

Do you know I'm thinking of just putting milk in the bag. Would that be terrible?

Please? Don't try to do these millennial things. Just put it in a cuppera bowl.

Come on, it's just so annoying to do all the dishes afterwards.

Brand new from Kellogg's Eggo Chocolate Waffle Cereal with sweet chocolate crunch.

I always have at least one box of Ego maple in my house.

You mean homestyle?

Yeah?

Please note everybody at home that Andrews is using the same Fair Life milk from two weeks ago that he thinks.

Yes, this is the expirationat I opened it two weeks ago, so it's two weeks from the date you said that. It's even on audio, it's two weeks from that date.

So I said seven to ten days. If you're listening to the podcast.

In Italian mafia speak, go scratch.

Okay, are you ready, Andrew, yep. Oh this looks good, smells good. The milk's already turning chocolate.

One two, three mm hmm. Oh my god.

It is good. But it's not as chocolate as I thought it would be. And the little cereal pieces look like monster marshmallows from pac Man. They're really misshapened.

I absolutely love this cereal. I think it's delicious. It almost tastes like a flattened out cocoa puff no, and I really love.

That there's a slight burnt flavor to it after you crunch. You don't taste that at all, a burnt flavor, right, yes, burnt?

No, Okay, it's perfect. I wish you would have just given me the box, cause this is a good cereal. I'm giving this one five balls. I go waffle cereal hasn't yet let me down yet. Actually it did blueberry waffles.

Well, since there's only three of them, it let you down a third of the time.

Yeah, so it's not terrible.

I will give it four balls.

I like it absolutely delicious.

And check it out on the back, there's breakfast banter.

Oh oh, I wonder are you going to try and do another one of those where you have to fill in the names and then you spend like six hours filling it in by yourself.

Well, I was going to tell a waffle joke, but it had too many holes. That's what it said. No, that's what it says. I didn't make that up.

Huh. I waffles have holes? Yeah, No, it's actually interesting. If you eat it dry, it's very salty. I know that sounds weird, but it's salty. Are you getting that?

I like it better drives?

No, but I still do it milk. It's way better.

I do taste a little bit of burnt. But you know that's okay.

What is this?

You're just ready to just move right on?

Yeah? I mean what you gave it four balls? I gave it five balls. What else do we want to say about it? What nostalgic thing do you want to say? Have you eaten an eggo wabble before? Yes?

I don't want vollstar saying you guys have too much fluff. Just get to the cereal.

Oh my god. The one person that gave us a one star review the one person you are, the one person who reads your bad critic and then thinks everybody is that way, so we have to highlight them. And now they now are in your head.

You're talking too much. Let's just move on to the next serial.

Oh so it's me ready.

What do you think this is?

I don't know. It's like bland smelling.

I went to Serial KILLERSPC dot com while I was in the cereal aisle because I wanted to see if we had done these before, because I don't remember doing these. Couldn't find it, so I don't know whether the search engine is broken or if we never did them. But then I look at my show.

Listen, I'm at the point of this podcast where I'm just going to press the end zoom button and then you're just gonna sit there and be like me, me, me, me.

All right. Beaker looked on my cereal shelf for Cascadian Farm and I did not see this one, so I know we didn't do it.

It's a shelf, it's not a cereal shelf. You can't just add cereal to the beginning of things like this is not a cereal spoon.

It's a spoon if you use it for cereal. It's a cereal spoon.

So this is what you're doing now, everything just gets added cereal to it.

Cascadian Farm Organic purely O's. Okay, they're just O's.

This is not going to be good. I'm just going to tell you from now.

I think it's I think it's a lesser cheerio.

Yeah, and I like cheerios, but this is going to be blander than bland.

How's that milk that's expired?

It's actually delicious and fine, Thanks Scott. I didn't know this was the Scott chuckled Shack hour where you just make jokes about me for however long.

Wasn't a joke, pal, I'm just asking you how the expired milk is.

Oh my god, I can't wait for this episode to end and then for you to go. I didn't like that episode.

Well I don't like I don't like it. These are just going downhill.

Oh my god, say I just want to quit the podcast.

Okay, Scott, do you have the graph of listenership because it's like going down.

Uh no, the graph is actually going is staying steady. So thanks Scott, here we go.

What it's just nothing. The vomit is just not you know, required, No, it tastes cheesy. What does it taste like Cheeto puffs?

Yes, okay, one hundred percent it tastes so I don't know again if this is also a side effect My smell and taste went when I did have COVID, and now that I've gotten it back, everything almost like things that I used to love, like black coffee now tastes like marinara sauce. It's a hard thing to explain, Like it's like a bad pizza taste. I can't explain it. But like black coffee tastes gross to me. Now there's just like my taste is off.

So should we have a substitute for a while until that all comes back, Because you can't really do a cereal tasting podta cast when you cannot taste cereal.

No, I can't taste cereal like the eggo waffle tasted fine. This just does taste weird to me, and I'm not a fan.

Whole grain oats, whole grain barley, wheat starch, malted barley extract, sea salt, calcium carbonate, oats, malted barley, vitamin E. Do you notice what it's missing? Andrew Salt sugar. There's no sugar. Yeah, so I guess for a diabetic type person this would be good for them.

Oh, we should have gotten Garrett on the Line.

Or Wilford Brimley Scott.

You can't say that, why because you know Wilford passed away this year.

Well I know, but see that was my cute to play this beat it but it took me too long to get it.

And was it not in the right folder that you complain about every time someone keeps moving something on the computer.

One ball for purely sames Cascadian form.

Same not great.

Look, not saying it's awful, but we're used to cereals with a little bit of sweet and some taste. I'm saying it's awful, Okay, but it's not vemage. It's just not really good.

Yeah no, no, no, not vomit like unless maybe my milk really is expired and then it is bombitious as a whole. Just not a fan.

Well, somebody that's watching their sugar intake and taste intake, go ahead, what let me see? Oh oh this was very interesting to me. I had seen these a while back. But oh, who's on the phone.

Why do you care?

Because I'm just curious, you know, just people. You can't just like pause it for like fifteen minutes. What your phone?

Oh remember when every time we go to record one of these episodes with someone on zoom, you're not ready for a solid twenty five minutes, And then I just sit here on a zoom waiting for things to get done. Literally every time.

Nature's path all right, here we go. They sometimes disappoint sometimes they're pretty good. This one looks interesting because it's called corn flakes, but it's fruit juice. Corn flakes?

Oh god, no, oh no.

Why don't even know what that is?

I just see fruit juice and I think of like Minute made fruit juice. I just find it to be overly sweet.

But what are you gonna do? Min It made fruit juice is not really juice.

The only juice I loved Minute made fruit juice when it used to come in like the Capri Sun package and it was blue. Oh my god, that was my favorite.

That's fruit punch.

That's the difference.

Well, fruit juice is juice. Fruit punch is all added sugar.

Wait is that really the difference between punch and juice?

Are you kidding me?

I mean, I just asked you a question.

So therefore, now, well, I mean, yeah, if you get something that's one hundred percent fruit juice, it's just juice. I mean, there's natural sugar in it. But if you get something that's fruit punch, that's like, dude, Hawaiian punch and it's full of sugar. It's full of sugar.

Hawaiian punch cereals.

And cups and cups of sugar in there.

Hawaiian punch cereal might actually be good.

All right. Punchy, that's a guy's name. You know what his name is, Punchy.

I can't tell you why I thought his like I thought he had like a fun Hawaiian name.

No, Punchy, Punchy because he punches, having a nice Hawaiian punch and punch his punch. Punchy, What do you mean Hawaiian punch?

What's a Hawaiian punch?

That's the brand name.

No, I get it, but like you're saying it, like, have a nice Hawaiian punch? What is a Hawaiian punch?

That's what he says in the commercials. How about a Hawaiian punch? And then he gives you punch, but he punches you. Listen, this is this an.

Old eighties commercial that you're talking about, because I've never heard the man speak.

Really, he speaks in all the commercials.

When have I seen Hawaiian punch commercial?

All right, listen, fruit juice corn flakes, delicious crunchy flakes sweetened with pear juice. See there's a pear on the front there. I like pears, cob of corn.

I don't know if I love corn juice.

No, it's corn flakes. You know it's corn flake. You know there's corn and corn flakes, right, were you aware?

Well, yeah, okay, I knew that. I'm just saying punch and juice whatever.

Just stop talking.

Wait, so is this gonna be flavored?

No, it's no. They just use the sugar from pear juice.

This is gonna be interesting.

I think it's gonna be good. Their flakes are very distinct nature's path. Their flakes all look the same, and they're very crispy and light.

One two three. I really like this.

I just taste corn flakes. That's it. There is a hint of pear. There really is. If you give it a second, switch it around in your mouth a little bit. There's a hint of pear. Oh yeah, right, I wouldn't call it a pair flavored cereal, but there's definitely a hint of it.

I don't mind this at all.

Where's the ingredients? Oh, real, simple corn meal, pear, juice, sea salt. That's it. I like that.

I like it. I'm gonna give this four bowls.

I'll go three bowls in a spoon. It's a nice, simple cereal, probably pretty healthy. Yeah, thank you Nature's Path.

Thank you path?

Was that three? Yeah? Okay, Now I can go edit this for seventeen hours because your audio is so loud and hopefully that you're not distorted.

I'm so sorry you have to die on this cross. You are such a martyr. We're so thankful for you. Wow, guys, let's give it up for Scotty. If you're in your car, if you're just sitting here listening to it, just give a slow clap for Scott everyone, because he is truly Wow. Oh my gosh.

That's why you got a quality product delivered, because I took care of things. Andrew, I love you. We had a wonderful year, even the year, even though the year sucked.

I mean, yeah, this was a terrible year, but it was a.

Good Serial Killers year. Yeah, we had a lot of fun. There were a lot of brand new, nice cereals. Some of them don't exist anymore. We should have kind of compiled the list. I feel like we cheated the listeners. We just kind of mailed it in. We didn't do any year end anything, no nothing.

Listen, it was COVID. Next year, twenty twenty one, it's gonna be the red carpet. It's gonna come out. We're gonna have all your favorite cereal mascots for the Spoonies. It's gonna be great.

All right. So just in your head, think back, what was your favorite cereal of the year, favorite new cereal. I can't think either. In my brain is mush But.

I mean I really just like this Ego Cereal. But I gave Eggo Cereal it last year.

That's an incredible cop out.

I'm not gonna lie Sesame Street Cereal, which one Sesame Street Cereal was pretty delicious.

Side note, it's not out yet, so we can't really even though we tried it, it's not in stores yet, so we can't count it. That's a twenty twenty one cereal.

Oh dunkin Cereal? Really, Oh my god, love Dunkin Cereal. I love that cereal so much.

All right, see, and I think it under the radar cereal was Cocoa Puff's Brownie Crunch.

Oh that was pretty decent.

I think it was a five baller. I loved it. Yeah, and it's slowly going away. You still see it in the stores a little bit, but it won't be around much longer.

Well, I'm sure Dunkin Cereal is going to have a similar fate.

So yeah, you know, we should do that. We should have done that immemoriam rip thing at the end of the year. The cereals that we had that are no longer.

I would have done the voice of the girl who does the moment the dogs in the.

Jeels Sarah McLaughlin.

Yeah, I would have sayg it and then you could have.

I could have listened every serial it doesn't exist anymore.

For twenty twenty one, Watch out, guys, we're having an immemorium segment for the cereals that didn't make it.

All right, Look, we could do that at any point. Hey, listen, Thank you so much for listening to Serial Killers. Thank you for a great year. Thank you for supporting us. Except for you, of all star eighty eight and please rate us and give us.

He's gonna rate us again with a one star and be like every time you mentioned me, I will give you a one star review, in which please full star. If you're listening, thank you for listening. I appreciate you as a listener, even if Scott doesn't, so you can give him a one star. But for my sake, can you please give us five stars.

But that's the thing, and I'll never quite understand that. It's just like with the radio show and the radio station. I hate you guys, but they listen to every single thing.

Well again, the hate can be so loud.

Listen. Have a wonderful New Year's Eve. Please stay safe, don't go anywhere. Just stay in your house.

Stay inside.

They're not letting people in Times Square anyway, so don't I mean, that's just dumb.

Yeah. I've been inside now for two and a half weeks. Let me tell you something. For only having six hundred square feet in this apartment, it is uh, the walls are really starting to feel quite small.

I love you, Andrew. Have a great New York. Please follow a Serial Killer's PC on all social platforms. Go to the website. If you want, even though Andrew still has not updated it since yet, when you maybe when.

Thanks guys for listening on account of three Crunch one two three crunch.

When you blah blah, that means I'm telling the truth, That's what that means.

You just always want to quote unquote speak the truth. But it's just then I do whatever I do, it never lives up to your expectations, So then all you do is just criticize. But then you can't do any better because, for the life of you, you still have an iPhone five that doesn't know how to text, so it's just.

Not a five.

Oh, you must have upgraded. Good for you, Scott, I'm happy you upgraded to an iPhone six. Welcome to twenty twelve. Happy New Year, Andrew, Happy New Year, Scott. Bye,