Bernie’s Birthday

Yay, I pressed record to Andrew. Cool you ready to go?

Yep? I know you guys who lied to e Cereal? Makes them come please, we're so cereal. They care to acquire some, get some retire.

Do you like when people call you Andy? No, no, it's not Andrew. There wouldn't it worked very well? Yeah, welcome to Serial Killers. This is episode one seventy three. It's Monday, and how is your Easter? Andrew? Did you have your peep Cereal yesterday morning?

Yeah?

Of course, yeah, Love went out and found it. It was hiding in the easter eggs in the yard.

Yep.

Yeah, while I was in Boca.

I mean, sure to do it.

Good for you, Andrew. Thanks, Oh you were in Boca. Yeah, you shouldn't be here. But I'm fully vaccinated, but I think you still have to like not be someplace for fourteen days.

Well you're also fully vaccinated, so we're both in a safe zone. Yeah.

Other people in this building that aren't well.

I literally just come in an elevator with a mask on and then just walk in here and don't leave.

I don't even know what's going on.

I'm trapped in a Cereal dungeon with you.

Yes, it's Serial Killers. It's the podcast where we talk about cereal and we think inside the box because we are inside box thinkers.

Every time you say think inside the box, it's like knives, Like, Ugh.

This shirt is large, and I think it should be extra large.

Well, it could be a large plus.

I don't even think I could do large plus anymore. I think I just need straight up extra large.

Now, you keep yo yoing on your weight.

I know, and I'm not even on a diet, and it's not like I'm taking some magic diet pills. I just I'm just sitting around and doing nothing.

Well, maybe physical exercise to your daily activities would be nice.

Now that the weather's getting a little bit warmer, I've been taking my bike out great.

So we'll see you're building some muscles, and that's why your weight's going up, because it's turning to muscles.

I'll see the pounds start to melt off in the next couple of weeks.

Oriole just goes straight up and then you could watch I guess you just yeah, what get bigger?

No, just call me Richard Simmons, who I.

Know who Richard Simmons is.

All right, you're ready to start eating some cereal.

Also, Richard Simmons, it's quite sad. He's like lost.

No one knows where he is. Yeah, he's missing.

His housekeeper is like keeping him like in the house.

His afro must be so big at this point.

That's if he still has one.

Who knows. All right, let's eat some cereal, buddy. I put three aside for today. I don't really have much to say about them. Great, so this will be a short episode. We'll just eat and move on.

You like that, and then we have enough time to record a bull chat after this so APUs.

Apparently it's a huge failure. So I don't think we're gonna do that.

Not because this is what the hell.

That that podcast was canceled after the first episode.

Not because this is it's just an extra episode to this podcast, So you can't cancel this podcast.

How about some cereal?

Andrew, I think it's a great idea.

Pickbox one, two or three, that's we'll go first. Oh one, Okay, So I saw this online. I saw it on the shelf, and I'm like, okay, this is interesting because it's a classic cereal with a new twist. It's not a flavor, but it's just a new cereal perfect in this line of cereals. Great, there are raisins in here? Okay, there are two scoops of raisins.

Raisin brand?

What company?

The one night uh Real Zeral Mills.

You're serious? Please tell me you're kidding?

Post what it's the big sun on it Kelloggs.

Dude, I can't believe that you just Oh, I was right in front of me. I'm gonna break this, do it? Okay? Well, anyway, so Kellogg's raisin bran toasted oates in honey. So I guess it kind of is a new flavor. You didn't change your shirt, by the way, No I did. I took it off, I washed it, I put it back on. Okay, well I do that from week to week. I washed my clothing.

A yeah, so we tell that you're it's definitely getting a little tight.

Well, I had a lot of cereal this week, buddy.

Did you stop at any fast food.

Restaurants you want to clear your throat.

Or I'm trying? Okay, Oh god, that's gonna be for you to edit, and then you're gonna be like, oh my god, this is why it takes me forever to edit an episode. You don't know what I do.

Okay, So this is another Raisin brand cereal from Kellogg's. The sugar the raisins are not sugared, okay, because there's a lot of other things going on here, so they don't sugar the raisins.

Oh wait, milk milk me?

Yeah, yeah, seven eleven milk.

This name is last episode because this is recorded right afterwards.

You have a spoon or you threw it away.

I threw it away because the last episode we had fruity Puffer cereal and it was the worst cereal I've ever had in my life. And because we record these back to back, threw it away.

We don't. This is a fresh week, and this is a live episode. It's Monday, April fifth.

It's live in the sense that we are doing this live now, yeah, on March tenth. But I have no raisins, you do?

I saw some fall in where sir?

Where? Well?

I don't think there's two scoops in this box. There's not even one school one two. There's no reason how can I get.

Hey, okay, here, I got one.

Okay, that's all you need because you think you ready, well now I didn't get one, right, It doesn't taste much different than the Cluster cereal. They have no up there.

And on top of that, if you listen to the last episode, that Terra cereal adds so much more complexity to a cereal that has granola, And like, I would go with the Terrra cereal before this any day.

Okay, since when do we reference previous episodes? Like, we don't compare cereals from previous episodes.

So what you're telling me is, don't compare cereals on a serial podcast.

Well, because like, someone that's listening to this is like, what are you talking about? I didn't hear the last episode.

So you don't want them to go back and listen to that episode you're hearing me compare it?

I do? I do?

Great? Okay, so your point is stupid. Hi. So, yes, the Terra cereal is a much more complex and flavorful cereal. This just feels bland.

Compare to that. Yeah, just forget about that for now and just think about this.

But after having a cereal that raised the bar, why would I now not compare it to that?

Because then why don't you just compare every cereal we eat to that? I do? Now?

Multiple episodes I usually say certain cereals are better than others. I don't know why this time, You're like Andy's saying something. I need to attack three balls.

Chill out, dude, three balls.

It's okay, Yeah, it's at three bowl cereals.

I like raisin bran. This is not raisin bran. I mean it is, but it's not. The raisins need to be more plentiful, and they need to be sugared, and.

The honey is literally doing nothing. It's boring.

The sun is getting old, and he needs to get his issh together. Yeah, delicious Kellogg's raisin bread, toasted oats and honey, real honey, good source of fiber, overall wellness. Raisin Bran Crunch original. See it tastes almost like that. So I'm wondering if they're just rebranding. Is that possible. I don't know, interesting, they might just be rebranding. Like look, how there's just a random picture of that box on the back of this box and it doesn't say anything.

Maybe you're right, Skuy, huh huh, it's right.

But then again, there's a huge ad campaign right now for Raisin brand Crunch. You see the commercials all over the place, yeah, you have no idea what I'm talking about.

No. I loved Cereal too, though.

Great, back down to the cereal sack. You want Cereal two? Yeah, this came from our listener two episodes ago. I'm referencing two episodes ago because she had sent us this cereal from the cereal company, and she sent us another one. Okay, so her letter's not there anymore. And I feel like a dope because I forget what her name is and I apologize.

You're great tour listeners. Oh my god, I'm your crack is out again.

Some more flakes. This is another cereal from Kroger. This is once she got from Pick and Save? Right? Was that what it was called? Pick and Save?

And you were like, what's the other one? And I said Pigley wiggly.

Yeah, I love pigly wiggily. Yeah. We still haven't had any pigly wiggly cereals. I just like the logo. I like the little pig toasted flakes with fruit and yogurt. So this is a rip off of Special K, who has the same type of cereal.

I don't think I liked the yogurt one.

I don't I didn't like the yogurt one either Scott bereversy past episode too dope.

Why would you reference past episode?

Well, because it's the same cereal.

No reference things. And this is very specific to what I want to say.

You're not a nice person.

I'm not a nice person. I talk and you literally hang on every word to attack like a pit bull.

I'm spilling this one.

This is why bullchat is a much nicer and subdued one, because you don't have to be mean.

First of all, I'm not mean, and you get what you deserve in this podcast, Andrew.

I literally get what I deserve by it for existing. That's I get yelled at for existing.

Here you go, buddy, the bar is low. How many more episodes do you think that this thing can go?

Now we go into your existential crisis. If it's never gonna.

Take off, it's never gonna work. That's not what I'm talking about. I just don't know that we can work together anymore.

Okay, you have such troubles.

Getting here, and then when you're here you complain about being here.

I told you I had to work this morning and that's why I needed Oh oh, I'm sorry. Is that referencing a past.

Episode this is your work. Ready here we going two three. It's actually pretty good. Yeah, I didn't get a yogurt cluster though, No, I saw one fall into your cup.

Four ball mm mm hmm. That was pretty good. That was real good.

Crispy rice and wheat cereal with oat and fruit clusters and yogurt covered clusters.

A plus.

It's pretty decent. We don't say a plus. It's not a thing.

I'm not mean. Wow, this cereal is a plus.

We don't say that you know what, flake it till you make it, Flake it till you make it. Andrew I like.

That doing that for one hundred and seventy three episodes.

So they may actually say flake it till you make it. But what they what do they know? And who are they? Anyway? I always wonder who are they? They say this, They say that you don't know Scott, the masses and Majorities, the Illuminati, Thurston, danger Pants, McGillicuddy, the third, Who is that? This is just saying things on here, world of flake, Crispy, cravy, lighten, wavy, flakes, scrumpchoes, crunches, righteous, delicious, that's not even a word. Flakes, yummers in your tummers

Good job?

Kroger. I like that box. Did I rate it now? Oh? Four balls? Same as cereal. If you have Kroger Cereals in your town, try it. I believe it is better than the special k one you care you have anything to add. By the way, they want to make sure that you know that that's enlarged to show detail. That's not the size of the flake.

Cool. I thought it was a good cereal. I said it was a plus and got attacked for it.

But you didn't rate it. I did.

I said it was four balls.

You said it was a plus.

No, I did say it was four balls before I said that. I was using a plus to explain that I really liked the cereal. Oh, and then you went off and read the entire back of the box. By the way, a solid minute.

Did you see the mail? You got an invite? What you got an invite? In the mail? Real killers, You, my friend, have been invited to Bernie's birthday party. Did you see Now, don't you know who Bernie is?

No?

You were invited to his party?

Who is Bernie?

He knows you.

Who is that?

You guys are friends. That's Bernie. Oh god, that's his birthday party.

Birthday cake cereal.

Yeah, Annie's homegrown organic birthday cake. Bunnies and balloons, corn oat and rice cereal. Look how excited Bernie is. He's blowing his horn. Yeah, he's right there.

What it's not birthday Gate flavor. It's not a flavor.

Look at all his friends are there.

I mean his friends are a door.

We have to unscramble a letter, so you know what kind of animals those are? Because I don't think you can tell.

Okay, so are you going to go do that for the next five minutes on the podcast while I sit here?

That would be a fox and an eared that's a deer, and an honocark is a raccoon. And there's an odd goose. That's a goose. And don't forget about the rules were that's a squirrel. Wake it up. It's sprinkled with fun. So it's bunnies and balloons. They're a little Bernie shaped bunnies and balloons with sprinkles on them.

Cool? Yeah, RT excited?

Birthday cake flavored, Andrew.

I was gonna go into it, and then you decided to read the whole back of a box. Oh go ahead, it's not a flavor. It's just vanilla cereal with sprinkles.

The balloons look like cookie crisp.

Okay, it's just vanilla cereal.

We're about to find out it is.

I canna tell you that's what makes birthday cake cereal anything, birthday cake flavored stupid, It's just vanilla cake. Here you go, buddy, This smells like fun fetti cereal. Why are you revery say past episodes?

It smells like cookie crisp? Ready, awful, awful.

It's not good.

I kind of like it.

I don't.

It's trying to be a healthier cookie crisp.

It just tastes like sprinkled cardboard.

I spit milk all over my phone.

It's okay, I give it two balls. It's not enjoyable. It brings me no joy. Did you bring that out because you know this is my birthday month?

No, it's not.

It's April.

This is April.

Yeah yeah, oh.

No, I know it's your birthday. Cool April nineteenth, April sixteenth, April tenth, April twelfth. At least, let's play the Price is Right game where you go high or lower. April twentieth, April twenty fourth, Can you say something April twenty sixth, You don't know my birthday August sixth, Well, it's because you make the birthday list April eleventh.

Cooper's birthday is sinkle to my own.

Because that's easy to remember.

Amy's birthday is. Oh, her birthday is close to yours.

Yeah it is.

It's in August. It's August eighth.

Very good, But when's my birthday? How about Ashley's?

Ashley, I actually do not know.

I feel like you've never I have. That's Veteran's day. She's eleven eleven. We purposely had both of our kids on days that we could remember, so I would never forget their birthdays.

Very smart, yeah, and great to do that to your wife. I feel like you need to have the baby now.

I never insisted, but you know, we just doctor kind of set it up for it.

So what's my birthday?

April twenty ninth?

Right, when's my birthday?

April sixth? When is my birthday April thirtieth?

There you go?

Is it really?

Yes?

I do, I'd get it. I mean, I knew it. I knew it so mean.

Isn't it funny that I literally named three people from your family and their birthdays. The only one I didn't know is Ashley, and now I will remember Ashley's and you did not know mine, the co host of your own show.

You don't know when Sawyer's birthday is.

I'm sorry, I don't know when your dogs is. Is that the bar?

Yeah?

That's the bar?

Yeah, so that's no better than your dog that's messed up?

Thanks? Yeah, glad you see me as a dog?

Then his birthday's June.

Great, Glad you don't know either, huh?

I think it's the fifteenth?

Cool?

All right? Did we rate this? I'm going to give it two balls in a spoon. It's okay.

I gave it to both.

Your kids will like it unless they're used to unless they're used to sugar cereal. So I'll bring this home for Cooper and Ashley.

If you have fun fetti cereal do that one? No, if they even still make it, I don't know.

I believe dunker Ruse has kind of taken over for it, and that's going to go away soon too.

We had dunkeru cereal right, No.

No we didn't. No, no, we should maybe do it in the next episode. Really, I gotta go, dude, seriously, thank you for listening to Serial Killers. Please follow us on all of the social media platforms. That'd be Twitter and Instagram and Facebook at serial Killers PC, although you'll get nothing back on Facebook because Andrew bailed out.

Why are you like this? Why? Well, nobody likes when you do this. There's more people now on my side from listening to you for one hundred and seventy three episodes than there are on your side.

Do you realize that there's no sides here where you clearly are We're not a team.

When one member of the team just decides to be like pushing the other person underwater and being.

Like, get up, I'll keep you down there. How long can you stay?

I can actually hold my breath for over a minute?

Really?

Yeah?

Should I go get a bucket of water from the toilet and we'll figure it out? I mean I could just hold my breath now because you can cheat. No, if I stick your head in a bucket of toilet water. You have to stay there?

Why toilet water?

It's much easier to get water out of the toilet than the sink. You got anything else do you like?

Do you YouTube? Dot com? Slash serial Killers pc?

Would you like to bring anything to the table?

Serial killerspc dot com?

How's the website coming?

Great? Scott is doing a great job. You should send him his shirt.

Is it finished?

It should be by now. Okay, Scott has done a fantastic job on it not me, Scott. Everyone knows it's not you, Scott. Scott has done a wonderful job. He's actually come up with some pretty fun points too, like on how certain cereals we cereal brands we rank very similar on he's going to send me the data.

Yeah, I'm a general Mills geek.

Favorite data scientist. Really has been helping us. Yes, and he's actually pulling analytics of how we rate certain cereals and are like, isn't this interesting? Why did you rate these two the same?

How come I don't see any of that? He finds you to be a little bit You have conversations. You have conversations with him without me.

Well, you know, seeing as I'm the one who responded to his email to get him to help us get it right to me. He wrote to serial Killers PC at gmail dot com.

I don't have access to that.

You do.

Nobody wants to hear this. Thank you for listening to Serial Killers. We'll see you next week.

Do you have anything to bring to the table. I bring something to the table.

Nobody ways to hear it.

Thanks for listening. And he's a dick.

Bye that table. To believe it, that table collapsed. Please, thank you for listening to Serial Killers.

The table collapsed.

Yeah? What what phrases that you said? You brought it to the table. The table just broke.

Oh my god.

Thank you naught again for sending us a serial for this episode. Yeah, and until we see you next week. And leave us reviews too.

We love reading your reviews, be it on serial KILLERSPC dot com and or on whatever podcast you're listening to killers. Let it be known I can't read the room. If you listened to the last episode, I was not allowed to read my review. But now Scott will take it from here reading his own reviews.

Just this one comes from Jeff until Peka, Kansas. I really don't like that Andrew guy. He really brings the show down. All Scotty wants to do is have fun and laugh and try serials. Andrew doesn't seem to know anything about serials. He's such a dope and he sleeps and is always on his phone. If it weren't for Scott, I would rate this zero stars.

So did you write that by ins of you? You one hundred percent? Or it was Cooper because he said Cooper was leaving reviews.

I actually just just pulled that out of my head. There's no that wasn't written anywhere. Yeah, I could tell that's what Jeff would have written.

Or just like these things of a fifty six year old man.

I'm not fifty six. I'm not even close to fifty six. Why do you keep saying.

These here aarp benefits are kicking in Scott.

No, they're not. I wish they were savings galore. Thank you for listening to Serial Killers. We'll see you next week when we'll have three very new exciting serials. Dunk a Ruse, I hate you so much. You know we did Dunker Ruse.

Right, Yeah, those were some of the secret squirrel ones that we got like exclusive previews on.

That's that's right. You know, it's time for more of those.

Oh you got more?

Maybe cool? Actually, next episode is not gonna be three. I didn't mean it was like three new ones. I'd spent three serials. One will definitely be new maybe two.

Wow. Yeah, it's like we've done one hundred and seventy three episodes of this and people just know the format. It's crazy.

Isn't it crazy that we've been able to do one hundred and seventy three episodes. Yeah, that means it's been like, well over, well over two hundred new serials in the last year and a half two years. Yeah, that's nuts.

It's insane.

Speaking of nuts, what nutting? Honey? I had nothing to say there. Sorry, okay, thank you for listening. We gotta go. We just ramble. I don't know why you're still listening until we see you on next Monday. Say crunch, Andrew, Crunch, great.

Cool bulch at time.

No, yeah, not doing it.