Do you want to make a podcast? Fuck, is that copyrighted? I don't think so. I think it falls under parody law. Or make a little TV show. I could make ATV show. Or also a big poop things that people make. I was going to go to sculpture, but that. Before bread cookies it was. Too much of an escalation. Too fast, Yeah, it felt too much. I was at improv class, which I keep having to say the words. I was at improv class. What's wrong with saying Improv I?
It's, it's like it's, it's an internalized thing for me is that I like, I feel as deep sense of shame around the fact that I like improv so much because I was judged for it so often. Oh yeah, I keep forgetting that comedy sports thing. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Is like comedy. Sports is like deep cringe, but it's it's not. It was wonderful, people. It was. Well, there you go. Huge part of my development. So what? I'm not shit for all the time. Like improv comedy gets shit on a lot.
You do people shit on you for doing improv comedy? I mean, they wouldn't dare, but I feel, I feel like I have to like either I can like lean into it or I have to constantly defend improv comedy. And maybe I should become an improv comedy apologist. But. I think you'd be like a person where like, oh, if she does improv comedy, then it must be pretty. Fucking cool. It is cool.
It's cool as fuck. And I just started taking a new class and there's a bunch of like really interesting people in it who I'm like genuinely excited to get to know. Like they're cool. Like there's cool people and there's like this one guy, He's a teacher. He's a, he's a middle school teacher and his we'll call him Dan. I don't remember his actual name. It might actually be Dan. Know that I think about it. It's fine.
Hi, Dan. Hi, Dan. But no, he's a middle school teacher and he just wants to be able to like relate better to the kids. So he's using his entire summer vacation to take a bunch of like, theater and improv classes. He like, doesn't want to be a performer, like has no desire to like be in the industry at all. He's just like, I just want to be able to like think on my feet better as a teacher. And so he's spending his entire summer vacation taking like 5
different classes a week. That's so badass. That is pretty. Badass. So nice. That is super fucking badass. You know what I mean? OK, Bubs. What? I was just thinking, no, I feel like you're making fun of me. No, I'm super nice. I just thought of something very excited about what?
First off, I just want to point out that I think the best possible type of middle schooler to be is to be a middle schooler who is in a class taught by a teacher who just spent the entire summer doing Yeah. Improv classes. I want to be that kid like that. I want to be that 12 year old because then I'm going to sign up for improv classes. Do you think he's going to tell them?
I don't know, I, I kind of want to talk to him after class and be like, you should like especially like theater kids. You know how like, even when you're like, like theater, like theater kid is, is like it's an identity you're born with. You don't, you don't have to be in theater classes to be a theater kid. You don't you really especially like, like you will you meet people in your life and you're
like, that's theater kid. Like it's, it's like an identity and you can develop it. You know, you can improve your skills as like an improviser or a theater maker. You can learn how to do light and design. You can learn how to design costumes really effectively. But like theater, kids are born, not made. That's fucking awesome. I feel like a lot of people are going to get mad at me for saying that I.
Don't know I'm I'm just. Feeling it's inherent even like the shy even shy kids you like find their way to theater. They still have a vibe. They have a theater kid vibe. You're like, you're going to make a bunch of theater fronts in, in high school and you are going to become so happy. Like I, I don't know, I work like I used to work with kids a lot and it was like I had like that was, it was stronger than my gaydar. Are you very what's? What's that Venn diagram look like?
Of oh, it's, it's smaller than you would think. Like, you know, sometimes there's like really obviously gay kids, but there's a lot of like, you know, just kids who are doing their thing. They're not worrying about boys or girls when you think they're going to sign up for improv. When you when you talk about theater kids, do you all? Are you also including crew? Yes. You're talking about like crew lighting? Yeah, fucking set, people. Yeah, the I mean.
The same. Personalities where you're like you are going to be a performer, like you're going to be on the performance side, but there's also some kids where you're like you were going to make the most amazing techie you were going to be. Techie, that's the most. Powerful fucking stage manager of all time. Like you are going to run your department. Like I love those kids. I see myself in those kids, they're usually wearing like a camo jacket and have like an
enamel pin collection. Absolutely love shrinky dinks. Shrinky dinks. Super interesting dinks. Really good bags though. The bags on those kids. The bags, the patches. The patches. The patches on the bags of those kids. Oh yeah, all the little pouches along the bags with little buns on. They look like a Rob Liefeld drawing. Yeah, or like the, the ones real, the, have you seen the backpacks that have like the
window? It's got like the window opening, like it's got like a like a clear window and then you put your enamel pins in the window. So they're backpacks designed to showcase one's enamel pin collection. That's awesome and I love that. That is really awesome. I'd love to hear the the lineage of the person who thought of that. Right, like. No one would fucking sell 'cause I want one. Yeah, you're really. I just want a place to carry about my enamel pins.
'Cause I so I've been called a theater kid before and I did. You have theater kid energy. I I suppose I do. Yeah, I am. That's what I'm saying. I did 1 high school show. I did ragtime. My people call it ragtime. So good. My freshman year, first semester of my freshman year in high school. Also, fun fact, the even fellows who ain't too clever can do push one button or pull one lever.
That song, the choreography of that is you have to go down on your knees and then get back up from your knees very fast. And we learned that choreography the day after my friends and I decided to sneak on the roof of the middle school and learn parkour. And by learn parkour, I mean just jump for shit and pretend we're getting better at it.
And so the next day I was a dead, like I was a dead person and I was 14. Like I was, I could take a beating, you know, I 'cause I was a very hammy kid. You were a jumping off a skateboarding guy. Skateboarding guy, Yeah, I was. I was very much like Bruce Cambley. I was always willing to slap, stick it up and, you know, throw my body into slash off of stuff for a laugh. Still am by the way.
Good to know. If you were looking for somebody on Bruce Campbell of your own, call this fucking call Eric. Good. Oh, so the next day, like going down on my knees for that fucking and getting back up. I couldn't like, I couldn't get back up. And it was my first thing, like my first show, my first choreography thing. And at the time I didn't know I was, I was 14. But like, I was like, maybe I'm
a theater guy. Maybe this is the first time I meet some people who are become mentors to me, you know? So like, I gave a lot of fucks about what the director thought of me and I couldn't do it. And I remember thinking, fuck, he's going to think that I'm just a shitty dancer from now on because of fucking parkour, dude. I mean, it was 2007. Parkour was fucking awesome. I've never been a good dancer. I'm what they. Yeah. So there is dancing, acting and
singing. And if you have all three, you're what's known as a triple threat. Triple threat. But I am what they call a strong mover, which is code for you're a shit dancer but sometimes you're going to have to step touch in the back. Like. A strong it's like that's like theater code for you can't fucking dance. Like I'm a I'm a mover. I'm not a dancer. Awesome. No, that's awesome. I'm so glad that there's a there's. Like a whole genre of people in theater who are like that and I
am one of them. I can't. I'm the shittiest dancer I've never met. Like I was I was the the narrator in The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas, which is a dance heavy show. The best little. The best little whorehouse Whorehouse. Was this in high school? No, it was college. Oh, OK.
I was so sad. But I was the narrator and because I could play the harmonica, this is the only reason I got the role was because I was able to play the harmonica so I could come out on stage and and play the fucking songs. Oh. Shit, do you still play the harmonica? I still play the harmonica. Are you a? Sneaky little fucking harmonica player. You know that I play. The harmonica. I acquired 2 harmonicas while you were gone. Oh my God. Really?
Yeah. Cool. I don't know where either of them are. God, I was going to get excited, but yeah, no, I played the harmonica. But anyway, so like, but I was such a bad dancer and they had me front and center in a lot of the original choreographers because I was the narrator. So I was like just the guy and I was like around. I was like this omnipotent fucking God of the show.
And so then they ultimately had they redesigned the set to build a balcony that I would stand on and just do hand gestures. Like this? Because I was such a bad dancer that they're like, we can't have this bitch on stage. They literally had to pull me out of the dance numbers because I was so bad. Worked out well for you. You got to be in a cool floaty thing and. And I yeah, I did get a stand on a cool balcony.
That's pretty cool, yeah. In my fucking in ragtime, I was JP Morgan and Collins, whose last name I'm forgetting right now was Henry Ford. And so we were like the two rich guys in the Henry Ford song. I'm JP Morgan, my friends, the wealthiest man on this Earth that. Was really good. You know, but, oh, and we were supposed to come down on a big suspended thing because our director was a guest director was apparently a very like, well
known and good director. And he told the story about how he was at like a cool director people party. And somebody asked him, director people party, you know, a director people where all the director people go. Yeah. You know, he was talking about how he was talking to somebody there about how he was directing Ragtime. He was super stoked about it and they were super stoked about it. And then when he said it was a high school production, they're like eyes glazed over.
And he was like, he was telling all of this and he was like, so like, right then I was like, fuck you. Like I'm going to put on this is going to be the shit. Like you're going to fucking, this is going to be the standard of how ragtime is fucking performed. So we got like a real Model T, which was fucking sweet. We had all we it was, it was sweet. We were supposed to have a big balcony thing come down with me and Colin, who's now married to the girl I had a crush on at the
time. Congratulations to the kid. Congratulations. Congratulations. We were supposed to come down on the thing and they cut it right before. We never actually got to do it. Like I don't remember why but they cut it. I'm so sorry so. Anyways, RIP, I was almost also on a cool balcony thing. And how was it? Was it? It was magical and amazing.
It was, it was, it was arguably really funny just because I would have like these hand motions that I would do and that was like, and every so often I got to like step touch and that was it. And I was just like, God damn, I'm such a bad dancer. And everybody like never, they never said it out loud. Like they started off with me like front center. Then they're like, maybe actually, you know what, Kate, we're going to have you switch
rows. They would always switch rows and they'd be like, actually, you know, Kate, I think we're going to pull you from the center because you know, you're pretty tall. So we're going to just go ahead. We're going to put you off the side. It's going to help with the like they would just progressively remove me further and further from each dance number until it was like, actually, you know what? I think we're gonna actually have you off stage for this one.
And you know, but like and. If you go down the street, there's a bus station. Yeah, they were. Like you can. Sing there you were gonna have you singing from the wings, so we'll have you on live Monday. Singing from the Wings I. Remember that? But yeah. Singing. Would people actually sing from the wings? Yeah. Really. Yeah. Oh, we never sang from the wings. Well, sometimes you have to because then it like it fills up the chorus. But it also depends. On the show singing from the
wings. It's where you are like you're not on stage during a number but especially if there's like a lot of dancers but they need the sound to be more full, they'll have like the non dancers stand off stage and singing live so you get the like harmonies and shit. That's a really good idea. Yeah. I always remember our director would like mention it like when remember we need to be singing in the way and we just never
would because we were. You would never sing in the You didn't do what your director told you to do. No, not then. Gasp. Theater kids. He was never. Like watching, that's fine. I, I didn't yet have that thing in me that I gained in kitchens where it's like there's one person who is the person I listen to and I do whatever they say. That came later in my life. I wasn't there yet. It was there's like a lot of Tik Toks that are just imitations of like high school theater
directors. Where you going? Does he not be right in the show? I look at her. Dog, what's going on? Q lay down bails. I know the neighbor dogs barked. I'm so sorry. Yes Q lay down. She says no shot now it's fine. Podcast Dog. Podcast Dog. Best Podcast. Yeah, and if you're not watching on YouTube, then how are you even going to see the dog in the shot? Get on over here youtube.com/katie Asaurus. See she even podcast. Are you doing her job?
Oh shit bubs. You know what's weird about having the camera not be in front of me on a screen is we can do camera takes now. Bills, can you, can you do a take? Can you look over that way? Bills look, Yeah. Nice job all. Right bud, just give me a camera take. You scare Billy off. She was so cozy. Serious. Sorry to Bills. Sorry. Billy, that's why I freaked her out. But. Ragtime is the only musical you've ever done. Yeah, even at like, interlocking and stuff.
Yeah. Oh, I guess 'cause you were like busy being talented on the guitar. Sorry, I was really when somebody gives you a compliment, you go kind of rude to them too. Isn't it a little bit? I was going to cry myself. That was very nice of you, right, That was, but no, I never did. I it's all very segmented there. I was actually one of my proudest moments as an actor. If that's I mean. An actor. Was sorry Helen, I know what that software can do. I can just read through this and
see if I can. Cut that. That's fair. It's. Amazing, I don't have to look at the thing anymore. I love that for you. Was when Mr. Shaheen shout out to Mr. Shaheen showed up to one of my art classes. I was taking a painting class when I didn't show up, sign up for the next musical, which was the Music Man. I think he came into class and said, can I talk to Eric? And I was like, yeah, what's up? And he was like, please sign up
for the next the next. Show Oh my God, what's it like to be a tall boy in high school getting approach for the musical I. Know that's looking back on it. People thought it was a theater major until I corrected them at school. That's it. May you have theater kid energy. Yeah, but why did you sign up after? He asked. You. I did not. Why not? Pathological demand avoidance maybe? Sure. Whatever you do, don't audition for the musical. No, I really don't think that's where I was.
I think I was just distracted. It was. Also. It was. Stupid after school every day, yeah. It was after school every day. Yeah, dude, for a week, that's where. That's where the bonds of friendship are formed. OK, Bubs. What's that? I play a middle schooler. OK. And you play a middle school teacher who just spent the last summer taking improv classes and is really excited about it. OK, what? What subject am I teaching? I don't know. Let's say science. Science.
I've been picturing a science teacher for some reason. OK, I'm really good at improv. I used to sprung. On it and I'm like oh shit, I got another. And so anyway, kids, I'm just really excited to welcome you to my Earth science class. My name is Mr. Jefferson, and you might say that we are going to have a universe full of fun. Ralphie, stop. What? What? What are you 2 doing over here? Ralphie just keeps pushing me. It's fine. Ralphie what? What's? Sorry, What's your name? I'm Michael.
Michael, It was first day of class, so I'm I'll promise I'll remember those names, but Michael. No, it's OK. Yeah, this is Ralphie. He's just kind of keeps shouting me not like really hard, but just it's it's OK. Never mind. Just and I sort of like scratch down like I'm I'm uncomfortable with the attention as a middle schooler. OK, All right, Well, hey, you know what, Michael? Thanks for letting me know. Ralphie. Let's keep our hands to ourself. OK, so we're going to go ahead.
We're going to turn to chapter 1, which is what is science question mark. Who can tell me what science is? Michael, how about you? Science is when, like you, you observe the world around you and then you like take notes on what happens and and figure stuff out. Yes, and we can learn more about the universe. End of scene. It just perfectly sets up like. He's just doing his job. It's the first thing like of the whole year. You just hit yes and cut to
black. Yeah. Oh shit, I can just picture him the rest of the. Year, like, that was the thing. I was like, I mean, maybe he would have the kids play improv games, but in my head, the vibe that I was getting from our friend Dan was that like, he, yeah, he just wants to be able to like, be quick on his feet, you know what I mean? Yeah, oh dude, it's awesome. But then I was trying to say I was like, what would like a like
a high? Like I got really in my head on that one because I was trying to make it like really good. And then I was like, which is contrary to the rules of improv. Oh, it's OK. But it's you're, it's antithetical to the principles that I'm a Shui. I I was, frankly, I was having a hard time not just being proud of myself for thinking of two names. On the fly it was. You did it. Was Michael was always my lie name? Yeah, think about getting into any new hobbies, bubs.
Oh, actually, it's funny you mention that, Bubs. Oh boy. So I have some news to tell you. So a while ago I got emailed by, you know, like one of those companies and like they were like, hey, you're an influencer, you have a bunch of followers, like can we send you our product? But would you like to know the product bubs? Oh gosh, what? It's one of those carpet guns. Oh. Dude I was just thinking about carpet making like a week. Ago. Yeah, those like tufting guns.
Yeah. Yeah. And they were like, well, they're like, would you be interested in making like, because you know, they there was like product for post, which is where you just like make a video and you get the thing for free. And I was like, I guess so. And it comes with the frame and everything. Like it comes with like all the stuff. Yeah. And so I've been actually thinking about that hobby for a minute because I was like, I'm going to get one of those and now I can make rugs.
Dude what? What kind of rugs are you thinking? I really want to make a rug that's the Katiosaurus logo. That would be sweet. Like the like my neon sign but like as a rug that would be but I don't know what I'm trying to figure out is is because the frame is like 3 feet by 4 feet or something like that. So like feasibly could I make an 8 foot rug if I like made half of it and then scooched the fabric over? Like would I be able to like would it hold the tension
properly? Like that's what I'm trying to find out. That's a good question. I feel like yeah, you. Know yeah, I also think you can make your own frame, you know, you can make like a whatever size you actually need. Picturing, you know, the name of this thing, it was like a Victorian children's entertainment thing. It had a roll of paper there.
Like there was like a roll on one side and the roll on the other side like sort of A2 paper towel things and then you would crank it and it would pull across like an. Illustration that was back like John Banvard. Perhaps I don't. Know the the Oh fuck, what is that called? It's not a diorama, it's a gearama. A Gearama. Yeah, what's a Gearama? The gearama was like the largest one of those. So it was like ever made awesome. It's got, I think it maybe is
just called a gearama. It's like John Banvard's Gearama. Nice peels. AG Rama can refer to several things a type of hollow globe for viewing mats, a contemporary sans serif typeface, a video insights platform, or a garden center. Look up John Banvard. John Banvard, JOH.
He was the first millionaire artist in America and he made this giant G Rama that was a painting of a journey down a Mississippi River. And he would basically, he would like stand in front of it and put on this play about a journey down the Mississippi River in front of the G Ramo. That's fucking awesome. So he was the first billionaire? Millionaire first millionaire artist in. America died in 1871. That would be fucking horrible. Oh, he designed stuff in Bridgeport, CT.
My dad had a studio there. It was awesome. It was an old buckshot factory pineapple I'm just trying to find. AI feel like this is where I'm finding out that my Brian abilities are something I bring to the podcast. Oh, if I was typing on a computer that would be way. Faster than just. Also a little stoned, it looks like they just called panoramas. Panoramas. The G Rama was a panorama. There's a whole musical about it. Panorama was an innovation in panoramic painting in the mid
19th century. It was among the most popular forms of entertainment in the world, with hundreds of panoramas constantly on tour in the UK and the United States. Cool. Oh yeah. But anyways, you could make like one of those but for a rug and it would just move. Oh yeah. Part that you're working on across the. Thing, yeah. That would be cool. I have one of those but for dungeons and Dragons map.
Cool. That's right. 14 feet long, but you just turn it and then it makes different like maps depending on like where you roll it to do. Rug making. I would want to make a rug that I could stare at for a really long time that had like information on it, like a whole history of the world. That would be cool rug or like a periodic table rug. Yeah, that was my first thought. Yeah, periodic table. Rug that would be cool or like a cool like anatomy rug? Yeah. Like a like an anatomy, like an
anatomical chart of a heart. Yeah, it's a heart chart. A heart chart, if you will. Yeah, we should start a heart chart. A heart chart. Yeah. Right ventricle. Left ventricle, upper atrium, lower atrium. I think it's left ventricle, right ventricle, right atrium, left atrium, Pretty sure. Pretty sure. All right, Doctor Eric Pretty. Sure, I know that because of the ADHD crafting challenge where I had to. Build a heart. Oh yeah, when are you going to do another ADHD crafting challenge?
Right now. Bubs. Using only this laptop and these microphones, you must make me a podcast. I was really trying to come up with something I had like 2. I don't know. I mean, I mean, I'm definitely on an instrument's kick. I'm definitely on a stringed instruments kick. I'm definitely on like a mechanical instruments trip kick, like harpsichords and piano mechanisms and stuff. Definitely into that. I mean, it's your challenge, but
you know. I why are you to make like a like a transistor, but I don't know why can I? Get transistor radio though. Yeah, I was thinking like a transistor radio or like a Telegraph. Have you done a Telegraph yet? Yeah, OK. I did a Telegraph. Well, technically I did a Morse code, whatever they're called, I was sending things. And then I did make a Telegraph, which has a little pen that goes
down when The thing is clicked. But that wasn't for a crafting challenge, nor did I make a video at it. I just made one, made it for fun. I love that for you. Thanks. I love that you make little things. Thanks, it's cool. Me too. I love. It's my favorite thing to do It's awesome. I am still really interested in the thing that you said the other day about how you're making things is to my researching things. Yeah. Like.
Yeah, exactly. I thought that was also I was thinking maybe you could get a louder water bottle. I'm good. You're water funnel my have the turntables. I. Oh, oh, yeah, I'm just, I was trying to remember what you said. Yeah, I think it's exactly analogous, that feeling of like just that's what's happening now. Like I've thought of that and now that's what that's what's happening now.
Like, yeah, I'm going to either think about that and not do anything about it or think about that and do something about it. And I would rather think about it and do something about it. Yeah, you. Know yeah I'm just like I wanna like deep dive my way through primary sources exactly. Like, I wonder if that's the case, like OK, well. I feel like. Fascinating to watch. Primary sources to me is like building piano keys as to you, but I get really jealous because you have like a tangible thing
at the end of yours. I'm like, I have like weird esoteric knowledge about like Victorian gas lamps or something, but I have nothing to like show for it. And you're like, I made a Violet out of garbage. And I'm like, I wish I had that version because like primary source hyperfocus hyperfixation is like fun, but it doesn't feel as productive as like I've built a harpsichord mechanism out of
plastic and nonsense. I don't know, I I think it yours teaches you skills that you use everyday though I think. Yeah. Like you, you're, I don't know, reading comprehension, to name one, but like the skills that you you the things that you do to research something are things that you do everyday. If nothing else, typing, you know, and learning how to locate things and learning how to also just an understanding of like a thorough understanding of
something is like what? Like when I studied music in school, it wasn't that I became some amazing musician or whatever, but I understood what it means to really fucking know how to do something. Like ASA, my friend is Doctor ASA Price. Check him out. Like he really fucking plays guitar. Which is not to say everybody who can't play guitar on that level isn't playing guitar, but like it can get. To the yeah, there's like a certain echelon. Exactly like I've seen it happen.
I've you can play the piano, but not be a concert pianist. Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. So I don't want to say like, those are the only people. You just have an example of how far it can go if if the time is put in. Yeah. And so I think you have developed that understanding. Like, what does it really mean
to understand something? So much so that if you're working some job and your boss or whoever tells you like, hey, we need to read up on this for some meeting tomorrow, you're going to do an incredibly fucking good job at that. Not just because you are an amazing researcher, but because you have a relationship to research such that you understand what it means to do research in a way that other people might not. And that's got to be useful as fuck. Also don't know how to play the
cello. Do you know what I mean? Like maybe it's like a grass is greener thing, but I think it's one of the reasons why like not that I get jealous of you because I'm not jealous of you. That's not the word that I want. But it's like I feel sad sometimes when you make stuff because I don't like make like I make like little dumb things sometimes and I'm like, oh, look, I made a thing. But I'm just like, it doesn't feel the same way in my body as
like research does. And I feel like research is my, like thing. And it's like, I'll make a thing and then I'm like, I have a thing to show for it, but it doesn't feel nearly as satisfying as, like, finding the perfect primary source. Yeah, but I don't. You know what? I'm. You know what? I mean, well, I think also you are moving in this direction. I think perhaps the analogous thing for you would be like, well to would be to become a
writer. Like, I suppose that's what a writer is, is they develop understandings of things and then produce an interesting product using that understanding. I just had a crazy idea. What's that? We should write a book. Woah. I don't know. What do you want our book to be about, Bubs? I would want it to probably be about something concerning gnomes. OK. Probably gnomes, maybe some ghouls.
OK, couple ghouls. And then, interestingly enough, a Mormon Tabernacle Choir. OK, I want, I want involved. I love that. Yes and what if it was called the ADHD filled guide for adult and it was available for pre-order now. Yeah, we did. Oh gosh, we did write a book. Yeah, it is available for pre-order now. Isn't that weird? Wild, that was good. We should write the the the the the the ghouls and Gnomes book though.
What soft pitch me on it? Oh, dude, so you got these gnomes and you got these these ghouls. And the ghouls are sort of ephemeral. They can't touch things. And that's really sort of is the, the, the, the source of their, that's their animus is that they can't do that. And they really want to understand how that feels like or be able to do it themselves on the best case scenario. And then you have gnomes who can touch things, but they're just less advanced than the ghouls.
The ghouls, because they're ephemeral, deal and matter in a different way. So they're, they're sort of akin to aliens on some level. Or they're just, it's like they have electricity and have their entire existence because of forces and energy. The ghouls do because of the sort of the energies that exist in the ghoul world. They have like ghoul electricity, you know, it's not electricity, but it's sort of they can they manipulate energy ultimately, like on a fundamental level.
That's why there are these ephemeral consciousnesses. So like a Doctor Manhattan type situation. So anyways, they're very advanced, whereas the gnomes, they're a perfectly functional, they're they're fine. They're a perfectly functioning, you know, society, but they, we haven't quite figured out how to make like, wire and develop like, our version of electricity because, I mean, you couldn't if you existed in the 1500s, you know, like if you lived in a
medieval town. They're just not quite as developed at best this point in history. And so they become really good friends and they share their wares and they all live happily ever after. What was What's your pitch? We open on the Mormon Tabernacle Choir a week before Christmas, the biggest concert of the year. They're rehearsing and we see internally there's some tension. There's members, they're shit talking to each other.
There's there's did you hear that Betty got this solo or not Miranda this year, like scandalous, right? And they're singing and whatever. And then it then and then one of the people in the choirs drops blackout a scream a murder. Welcome to the Mormon Tabernacle murder. And so it's a murder mystery, bubs. But it's a murder mystery that is set around a ghost story of Christmas And spooky things keep happening happening around the Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
There's your ghouls like right before, like this, like big Christmas celebration, right, because the Mormon Tabernacle Choir the best during Christmas until you get like a ghost story of Christmas. And then it turns out that one of the members was like murdered with a garden gnome, like, you know, murder mystery, jealousy, whatever. And it's been like a Scooby-doo thing where one of the other members knew about it and they were, like, Hamletting.
And they were, like, making, like, fake ghosts and stuff appear to try and, like, get the person to confess independently of, like, I don't know, Benoit Blanc trying to solve the mystery. They're putting on plays within place. Plays within place. That would be that's pretty cool. I liked I I liked how you had. I was thinking of them both as being like real and sentient, whereas you took gnome to mean
like a garden gnome. Yeah. And the ghouls were really this visage put on by this Hamletian figure. Yeah. Is that the word for that if someone ever pertaining to Hamlet? Sure, Hamletian. Hamlet. Hamlet esque. I don't know but. Yeah, I like the. I like the. I like the direction you put it in. Who did it? Who was the? I want to say it was like one of the jealous Sopranos and the reason why she called her with a garden gnome is because she also lost the flower, the flower
arranging contest. And so it was like a a moment of passion revenge cycle because she got the solo and she beat her in the floral arrangement contest in the spring. But not both. It's true. I have one but not both. Yeah, she couldn't handle the jealousy. I've been watching a lot of BBC murder mysteries lately, so yeah, yeah, if you can hear that in the background, dear listener, that's our neighbors A. Fucking baby. Newborn baby that was not alive when we got this apartment but
as sure I'm kicking in the screaming now all the time. 100% of the day. Yeah. I feel like it's a really hot take to get mad about that. I actually looked it up. I looked up a bunch of like you. Looked up whether or not it's a hot take to. Yeah, I did. I did because I was like am IA bad person. Where did you look?
It up. I looked up a bunch of like, there's a bunch of am I the assholes from people on Reddit who are like, I moved into an apartment and then my neighbors had a baby and the baby screams all the time. Am IA bad person for being frustrated? And then general consensus is yes, you're a bad person.
Really. Yeah, which is why I feel really self-conscious about it because it's like if it was like they were playing loud music, you know, and I went over and I was like, hey man, your music is playing 24/7 and it's and it's disturbing me. Then I feel like I would like make it, make it and my the asshole and it would be fun and people be like, yeah man, it's really inconsiderate for your neighbors to have a loud ass music playing all the time.
But if it's a baby, people are like fuck you. And I'm just like, it's really hard to concentrate. And I love children. Like, I don't hate, I'm not one of those people who hates babies, but it's really difficult to like, I work from home as a podcaster and now there's a screaming newborn living next door to us all the
time. And it, I feel really icky about it, but it's like it's getting to the point where it's like it's only been like a couple of days and I'm like, I can't fucking handle it. Yeah. I got sensory issues dog I mean. I think it is fun to be like difference because like, they don't want the baby to be crying either, you know? Yeah. Well, another thing is I'm not gonna get mad at them or go over and be like, shut your fucking baby up.
But I'm just like, I feel like it's okay for me to be a little bit like if I had known that before I signed the lease, right? I mean, I think it's OK to be annoyed without it being anyone's fault necessarily, you know? Like it is annoying. Like a baby's cry is evolutionarily built to be the
most fucking annoying. Thing well, that's The thing is it's not supposed to be. It's supposed to be you hear you hear it, and you're supposed to be like, Oh my God, I have to help that baby and my broken ass maternal instinct not wanting kids ass is like but I am have. To be 1 so close to me right now. But I do want to slightly redeem myself by saying that one of my favorite things to do is to comfort children on airplanes. Oh, really? Yeah. I.
Guess yeah, you're. I love, I love telling stories to little kids on airplanes because you know how people get all like mad when babies cry on airplanes? I'm like, I'm in a whole adult and I want to cry. I'm up in the sky and my ears hurt and I know what's going on. Like I feel bad for babies who cry on airplanes. Yeah, I mean, I, I was, I was terrible on airplanes when I was a little. Kid, really I. Wouldn't scream and yell. Well, I mean, I'm sure I did it
when I was a baby. I don't know if I ever went on the plane as a baby though. But but yeah, my ears were I didn't know how to pop my ears and stuff and my like head was felt like it was going to explode. Could you imagine being a baby? Like you have no understanding of the world at all and like. Yeah, no, you're just fucking ears hurt. You can't hear anything. Yeah, I would suck. God, I remember, so I got. To Bailey for that matter, too. Yeah, I know.
Good job, plain dog. Been on a plane dude. Right, not a plain dog. She's such a good dog. Oh yeah, I've I've been thinking about a instrument lately. What is it? So kazoos exist. Kazoos are a. A what kazoos exist? That's a Mandela press shit. What do you mean kazoos? What the Hell's a kazoo? Like what the fucking things? Guess like guess like guess. Like so, kazoos exist. They are a classification of instruments called a singing
membranophone. There's a classification of instruments system called the Hornbastall Sax Instrument Classification System in which every instrument that has ever been made and arguably the majority of instruments that will get made can be classified as using these lists. It's sort of like a Kingdom water phylum class type thing, you know, because it was a type of instrument called a singing
membranophone. Singing membranophone has a little membrane thing in it. There usually is some sort of tube like thing sing little membrane in that tube that is covering up a hole. So you have a tube with a hole in it and a membrane covering that tube, sort of like, you know, flex seal, you know, well, bam, plug in a plug in a leak in a tube. And prog down in the valley, OH.
Hole in a tube and a tube and a log and a membrane and a hole in the hole in the membrane and probably down in the valley. OH. That was really good, thank you. So a singing membranophone is a tube with a hole in it that is covered by a membrane, and when you make a noise into that tube, the membrane vibrates, altering the sound that the tube is making, explaining this poorly. Hold on. Ringer bar or rat the fuck? Jesus Christ. Well, we'll leave it all in. Fuck it.
It's a single M brand of fundamentally doesn't make noise on its own right? It alters existing noises. OK, so a kazoo doesn't produce noise. There's no read on it. There's no instability of air vibrating like on a flute or something or on a on a recorder that is causing it to make noise. Your vocal cords are making noise. You make that noise into the kazoo. Yeah. And the kazoo is a tube with a hole in it, and the hole has a membrane covering the top of it
and the hole. And all that is about you. And when you hum into it or yell into or whatever the standing way or the, the, the airwaves, the fucking sound waves. Jesus Christ, the sound waves moving through that tube that cause the membrane to vibrate, which alters the sound that you hear. Because it's not a combination of two sounds. It's your humming going through the thing, but also the membrane vibrating in direct relation to
the note that you're humming. All that is to say, a kazoo is an instrument that doesn't make noise. It alters the sound of a person humming. I want to make a kazoo but for whistling. I want to make a tube thing, an instrument thing, a singing branophone most likely that you put into your over your mouth and you whistle into it and it alters the sound of your whistle such to sound cooler and different.
Because I really want to play the trumpet and the saxophone and a bunch of other instruments that I would have to spend a lot of time learning. But I am a very good Whistler, so if I could make a thing that makes my whistle sound like a trumpet or something, that would be fucking sweet. And it's technically possible. There are some questions that I'd have to answer 1st, and if the answer to some of those questions is no, then it's kind of fucked.
But I've been obsessing over it. What if you got one of those voice muter things that like if you live in an apartment and you like and you work on Broadway that you buy? It's like this thing and it like fits over your mouth and you sing into it. And the idea is that it's basically just like jam full of like acoustic paneling. So it like essentially acts as like a trumpet mute but for your
voice. What if you got something like that and then you cut off the end of it and added like a membrane or whatever and then that way you know what I mean? Yeah, I would want the material to not absorb sound 'cause that'll. Yeah, well, I'm saying you modify it. I'm just saying. But like the idea of something that you can completely wrap around your mouth so you can still like whistle into it.
Yeah, you know what I mean. Well, I've been you may have noticed me doing this over the past couple days, but I've been I've been whistling into different like cylinders to see how much I. Have noticed you doing that actually. Yeah, I've done. I also opened and closed cylinders to see if that you know what, what's up with that? So toilet paper roll, Yes, it's fine. A you know those super glue, the crazy glue things that come in that little green tube?
That tube is too small. A prescription bottle, which note you might do, is closed on the other end. You can whistle into it all the way up until it covers your mouth. But once air can't escape anymore, it will not whistle, which means there's a relationship between an amount of air that is able to pass through it and your ability to whistle. It does not necessarily have to be open on the other tube or open on the other side like a toilet paper roll is.
So basically, it doesn't have to be a tube. It could be sort of an enclosed thing, which I want because I want the whistle to be as muted as I want it to be. I don't want you to be able to hear a modified whistle. I want you to hear a different tone in general. I've only used the tone of the whistle to you know, I want to be able to control how much you hear the whistle essentially and a completely open tube. It's going to be very loud no
matter what. Well you also might notice that a kazoo generally tapers towards the end. I imagine that's to increase air pressure. There's a wave going through it. And if you know you have a certain amount of matter going through a pipe or a tube, and then it gets narrower, the pressure is going to increase. And so I imagine that's basically just to make there be a greater pressure differential such that you can vibrate the membrane more easily, essentially makes the membrane
more sensitive. And membrane sensitivity is like going to be the whole game here because a whistle produces a lot less energy than humming does. I mean, think like you can yell louder than you can whistle. And I mean whistling like, you know, not with your fingers like a taxicab whistle. Like I almost did the McDonald's fucking thing right then. And then I was like, oh, I want to give them free air time. And then I just said their name. Fuck.
But so anyways, membrane, membrane sensitivity is going to be the whole the game here because there's just a lot less amplitude. Well, he just cut a hole in the top of the prescription bottle and put the membrane there. That's probably going to be the first thing I do. Yeah. There's also a relationship that I needed to figure out which is the bigger the membrane, the more surface area is interacting with this pressure wave inside of the inside of the whatever container it ends up being.
You know what they say, the bigger the membrane, the bigger the pressure wave inside the container winds up being. That it's true. Dude, they. Say that they. Do say that. If I'm they and I'm at least one, they, they say that there you go. Oh, but there's a relationship between how big the diameter of the membrane, because it's generally a circle on every instrument I've ever seen, it's,
it's generally a circle. So the diameter of that circle, how big is the membrane, the thickness of the membrane, the material the membrane's made out of, because that's going to affect it's inertia. Is it a heavy thing that's difficult to move, or is it a very light thing that's easy to move? The diameter is just going to affect how much of this material there is, but what the material is made out of is going to affect its density and weight.
Or is it going to determine its density and therefore its weight and then it's thickness? So it's basically, well, I don't want π R-squared times height is essentially what we're going for here. The height is largely negligible in this sense. But anyways, that is the relationship that I have to determine because because does a bigger hole mean that it becomes more sensitive or added mass now negating any benefit you would be getting from the added surface area? I don't know.
I have to make one that's almost certainly not going to work and then make another one that's not going to work for a different reason and cross reference those two and figure out generally what doesn't work and then go from there. And that's called the problem solving process. And I fucking love it, Katie. It is my favorite thing, sorry. Come back next week to see if having a larger hole means that it's more sensitive with Katie and Eric.
I'm not going to lie to you, I was sitting on that one for like 5. Minutes. Oh my God. I was just waiting for you to be done talking. There were a couple, I think there were a couple I've been seeing in your eyes or you had you had something locked and. Loaded. I was like, I was, I was really in for the smart stuff. But I feel like sometimes it's my job to be the silly little guy on the podcast. Oh, that's, that's the absolutely. I'm I, it's great.
It makes me feel good when I'm the silly little guy in the. Black love it. We like we, we switch back and forth. Yeah, yeah, one might say we're switches. Yeah, but. Anyways, I want to do that, but there's also other humming into or making noises into things. Like that? Of what? Well, one that comes to mind is that toy from when you were a kid. It was a microphone. It's like an oversized microphone. I'm. Very light, yeah. And it was like it had like the
sparkles and stuff. It was all sparkly and you would talk into it and it would. Echo it would echo. It had the spring on the inside it had. A Yeah, it had basically a little slinky on the inside. Yeah, that would. Vibrate in accordance with. The noise in that shit. Produce an echo that was just sweet. And so there could be an element of that where like the whistling kazoo thing and there's like maybe there's an echo being added to it.
So there's a bunch of different ways you can modify like that type of sound. And I'm wondering if like some combination of those like a membrane, but also with like a spring going through it that would produce a reverb effect or also I was thinking sometimes when I whistle, this is kind of gross. Sometimes when I whistle, if I hit a specific note at a certain specific volume, 2 of my teeth will vibrate together, which is a very wild feeling. I. Thought you were going to say
that you come. No, you come sweetheart or shit your pants. I don't remember one of them is brown to shit your pants 1 though, because I don't I've I've never made you do that. That would be mean, but sometimes I get to confuse the shit your pants one. God, that's the worst when you get those two mixed up. I don't. Know I think the shit your pants 1 sounds like this anyways oh but oh so also if you had like like hairs going into it like feelers it would vibrate the
hairs because. Ultimately. That would have a that's extremely small amount of mass or maybe like hairs with little balls on the tip of them that would tap together. You know, anyways, there's all sorts of different ways to alter sound. Basically I'm looking for a thing that would allow me to skirt the responsibility of having to get good at an instrument before enjoying playing, you know, like, you know what I mean? Like I can whistle already
really well. I can I can whistle solos that I'd love to be able to play on the saxophone or in on any instrument. And it's like if I could just turn my whistle into a cool instrument, I could skip years of practice. Ultimately, I'm working really hard to be lazy here. That's that's really what I'm going for. Come back next week, dear listeners, to find out how Eric puts hairy balls in his. Damn it, how long did you have that fucking that fucker going?
For a while I. Saw your eyes light up when I said. I take improv classes. You did take improv classes? I'm pretty funny now. Yeah, when I said balls, I saw your eyes light up like the students in that improv teachers class where the teacher that took him Row's class when he starts asking for. Name suggestions? Also, give me a place. Give me a place. The girl's bathroom I. Don't know. Good. Although our improv teacher, it's really funny because he he
does this weird thing. So like, we'll, we'll play these games where it's like you're like taking on a character. So it's like you have a weird name. Your name is, I don't know, Philip Vagina or whatever. I don't know. It's a bad one. Any relation? But you know, so it's like, OK, so your character, not your name is Phillip Vagina. And so then you have to like embody the character, but he does this thing where he's just like, now unpack your trauma.
So he'll just like ask you these leading questions about. Like someone's seen Barry. Like, what was your what was your relationship with your father like Phillip. And then, you know, whatever he's like. Yeah, but sounds like maybe there's some tension there. Maybe there was some sadness. Did you feel like you were
letting your father down? Felt like he'll coach you down this road of like every character has a deeply traumatized past to get you to like the moment of like feels the the moment of like, I don't know, really like authentic, genuine, like not funny improv like that, that just like you're just like sort of living in the moment. But I'm just picturing this like science teacher just being like, that was the time that my fucking father died right in
front of me kids. And they're like, I thought you were just doing an impression of the planet Jupiter. Hi kids on Jupiter. My father died in front of me in numb. That's a create like key and feel sketch, right? Just. Overly intense improv actor. Bubs, I should take that sounds awesome. I kind of want to take your improv class with you a little. Bit Oh my God, you, I feel like you have a really good time. You still sign up. You want to sign up, use code summer.
You get 20% off. Code Summer. Yeah, they just sent out an e-mail. There you go. Don't. Put your I'm kind of scared. I'm a little scared, but you're scared, obviously. Yeah. I don't know. I haven't done improv since like my LAR ping days. Oh, right. I guess with you. There's people in the class who have never done improv, like ever. They just signed up because they're, you know what I mean? It's it's like an all ages sort of thing or all all.
Ability levels, yeah. Yeah, that sounds like a good time. Yeah, Tuesday nights. Fuck, you want to sign up? Yeah, a little bit. OK. How much is it? Is it like $10 million? No. OK, what's pretty? It's honestly pretty inexpensive. Like $8 million. Yeah, 54321. From all of us here at Infinite Quest, remember to eat a snack. Remember to drink some water. Remember to take your meds. Remember to be kind to yourself. Remember to be kind to others. And remember that we.
Love. Thanks for being here. We really brought that one all the way back around. We started with improv. Oh yeah, we did. That's pretty good. I didn't even do that on purpose me. Either. And barely.