My back hurts Mighty is disgusting. Wait, what? My tea is very gross. It was because he I didn't know that. If you put Honeycombs in t it does not work like putting honey and he waxed floor to the top and I yeah I made a candle out of it that I made a pain into a candle, that's pretty cool. It was. Yeah, it was not good though because I Like why is this tea tastes so bad? And then I realized this because I was waxing, don't even need a pen into it. A candle.
I dipped dipped my spare time. I like I did. I do. Oh, made like a Colonial Williamsburg a little string string I did that to get the wax out of it. But now there's just walks all down the side of my favorite mug. Anyway, hi everybody. It's me. Katie asaurus. I love excuse me. Good and you just unlock the core memory for me. Katie dipping the little strings into the wax puddles. Hey, of doing that was so much fun.
Yeah, I've never had like a candle-making hyper fixation phase, but I like, I love going to like, Colonial leaves, really watching the candle makers. And so, I just think it's really fun. Like, it just seems really relaxing. Like you just dip them and then also. And then, at some point, you get a candle. That's fuckin dope, dog. He's put wax on the string and that's a candle. I said, try to make other candles when I was a kid.
I would like, I would like, you know, you'd have like the teal a, I would dip like a little piece of thread and I would try and my other cables out of it. Yeah, very cool. That's pretty solid. Yeah, although you didn't say hi, everybody, it's me. Hey goat, I did. I said, yes, hi. Hello. Its me a good and you Katie just an octa-core. Well, I'm suggesting. I'm sorry. Okay, so I have cramps. I'm sorry. I've grabbed some folks on anything except how about my
grips Arts fight? I can, I can take the, The Narrative lead on this one. Narratively in, trust me. Okay. Go for it as you know what, this were always. So in control and we. All right, this is where very organized. This is always a steady hand on the wheel serious listening to this before they listen to Girl, Friday with any Reese, this is true story. So I realize like how truly free
form. We are so any race is a very seasonal, very interesting Creator podcaster actor, educator so many different things but she's going to be on the podcast tomorrow for fan Girl Friday. But when Annie came on the podcast I was just like what do you want to talk? We can talk about Star Wars and it just like it was the most like freeform silly conversation. I realized that I've gotten really used to doing it with you. So now whenever I Anybody else? Just squeak, no idea what we're
doing podcasts - it's fine. It's great. Well, that's what a lot of podcasts are. I mean, we started, you know, just sort of dumping everything we know about ADHD in our experience and so we know it's two years later. Yeah, it's two years later. Jesus, it is somewhere in. This is some sort of 101. I think 100, we should have probably done something figured out the said 100 but neither honestly really, it's probably not on all I do which I lost count.
I think season 2. The sewed. 40-something, I started like guessing, is there a cheeseburger on your shelf? It's not a real cheeseburger. But yeah, there's a cheese grater on my shelf. It's a candy. It's actually a lollipop. Oh my God. I love my love. My students, just looked over. And there was just a cheeseburger on the wall and it looks real. Like the blue makes it look more real? I think kinda does that's fine. Anyway, it's all right in the beginning.
I mean, we were dumping out everything, we know and our experiences and this is laying in bed. It's like hair. We could play into the wet area. Yeah. Like we could talk about stuff. We've already talked about before but I know it's I think it's more personality driven now. It's more. It's about the community to hang. It's a hang sesh, it's actually
inspired cast. They always have to be easy because they just, you know, they said they used talk about whatever, they just really, but, you know, it's pure entertainment where I feel like this is entertainment, but I also want to like Ule educational, you know? Yeah, let we're really supportive. Port. If you know, we know it's going to be okay and stuff. It is gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay. I believe that I think also I think I believe speaking of which so you and I we took me
down to this podcast ago. We're recording a pilot for a TV show. We're gonna make a pilot for a TV show and then next is gone. We've got episodes lined up. Yeah. Well people have been people. Yeah, people reached out they did the thing that we told him to do it the last episode. Yeah. Which is emails that ask it if in a quest podcast.com if you have a cool job and you want to be on her TV show?
Well, we should say web series, we should just, we should see a web series until it gets picked up because it's entirely possible that maybe Netflix will just go tell us to go fuck ourselves. And then I'll call my best friend. Kristen Stewart, who's totally ugly gonna put me on her ghost hunting show. And Then we'll do it that way, but it's going to be web series, but I feel like that's like the win-win of it.
I feel, I really do. I feel like it's the win-win of it because we're making content that we care about, and we're excited about. And we're challenging ourselves and we're learning new stuff. And we got some new camera equipment. And now, we're just we're making a whole thing, and it's Dad, I'm sorry. I have such bad cramps. I'm sorry, sweetie. I'm gonna just sort of sit here a little bit.
Okay, and I think the thing I'm nervous about well, first off dear listener, if you recognize the title of the episode, it's I don't title Episodes, but it's something along the lines of like, cart before the horse or likely some clever pun about putting the cart before the horse.
Because of the last, we were originally going to shoot the pilot at the end of this month, like two weeks from right now, but we ended up pushing it back because we and penguin magic who are partnering with for the first episode. They were like, hey, we actually have a lot of ducks to get in a role before we do this. Can we like push it back just to make sure like we have all our poop in a group? And we were both like, fuck. Yeah, absolutely gets. We have allows you to get here. Her.
And so I'm a little less stressed but yeah, we basically we got in a bunch of new equipment for film for like more professional filming stuff, you know, because we've been filming on our phones this entire time, it's like, okay, right we're gonna think are going Netflix. Something should probably get like a gamer girl, we my camera but you know good mics and stuff like that. And so I've been like learning how to use those things and and meanwhile I'm thinking about
like specific shots. I want to get it specific locations and we We still have like a script, you know, but I think the fact that it's later is making me a little less
stress. I think I ultimately my fear is I'm I've got sort of like Tic Toc trauma of like, you know, making a shit ton of work for ourselves and then never getting paid for it. I think that's what scares me is. Like, if we end up self-producing it, like what if we spend a month, making the first episode and like really fucking? And then, Nobody watches it. Everyone's a second one in the nobody watches it. I mean, some people watch it.
There's at least 17 people. I can think of off the top of my head. Cool. Watch it. Yes, Moon yes. And yes yukino totally JC Hall. Yeah. Lea RC Wordsmith. Absolutely. But II, am worried about that. I think is particularly Like is a weird flower because, you know, you it's very instant, like, you can go from having ten followers to a 10,000 in, like, two days, which is what happened to me, but like YouTube doesn't seem to be that kind of thing like this, you know, over it's a
slow burn. We can post a video. You post another video, you puts another video, like maybe one a month or something. What am I like?
No, I mean people are going to watch it first off but also I think that the cool thing about it Is that it's also a learning opportunity for us. Like if we just thought you know, like because we do we have the opportunity to film several episodes at this point and so it's like if we decide that we really like it and it's something that we want to do then we get to like hone our process and we get to like, figure it out and that's okay, you know, but if it's not an
overnight success, a lot of things are not overnight success, has a lot of things, take a little bit more of a slow burn and as my Rich musical title of show says, I would rather be nine people's favorite thing than 100 peoples, ninth favorite thing. And if it takes us a long time to find those nine people. I'm okay with that that Spider-Man. What the Spider-Man the musical is that, what that's remote? I'll show oat Idol of show, is the title of the show about two guys.
Running musical about two guys running musical, it's called title of shall tell the chef Mehta Superman. That's the but it's my favorite musical. So I agree. I mean well because for also a because if you're not caught up Kate and I are filming a pilot to, I guess a webs it was originally. It was like, the point was to make one and then pitch it to Netflix, but as we've been talking to, like the producer, not like, producer in that play like funding it.
But like, the person who is going to help us direct this and Pitch it to whoever, you know, the connected person they were like, this might be worth starting as a web series. Like show that there's interest in staying power and then pitching it either way. So, if we say TV show, it's just because we see how it depends on who wants to live in a place it exactly. But it will be on YouTube to start. Exactly.
And we'll tell you all and then if you are listening to this podcast, we saw this last time you were contractually obligated. Yeah, to watch it 10 times. You have to, you have to. I see I can see the podcast numbers and if I have a podcast, numbers are different from the
YouTube video numbers. Well now that well no well no absolutely no. But the premise is basically that Kate No. The the premise is basically that Kate and I in each episode, have to quickly get good at a thing that we've never done before, you know, to have. So to do some event at the end like some challenge or some show at the end. So like the first episode I've never done magic before in my life, I like got a magic set when I was 10 at Christmas and like lost of the next day.
Like that's the extent of my magic but I'm going to be putting on a show at the Penguin Magic Theater after like an intense week long boot. Camp from like the magicians that work there, and we're going to go to, like, music museums and stuff. It's gonna be great.
The premise of the show is that we're flying by the seat of our pants, just doing new stuff, just trying our best and I think the like the mission of the show, I mean, it's going to be, I'm picturing like it's going to be, you know, quirky and zany and all that stuff. But ultimate like the soul of the show, The Heart of the show is that you know it's okay to try new things and be really into it for a little bit and
then stop. Yeah. And it's okay to maybe not be so good or it's okay to be really good. And still stop. Yeah. And so I think it's kind of ironic that like, that's the premise of the show, The Heart of a show and but it's also about the making of the show. Exact. We've never done this level of content before, but we now have all these people they're invested in and it's like, well, we just gotta fucking do it, dude. And that I'm really excited for
I'm nervous, but I'm excited. Think I usually grab. Those also made me really think about like, because I know, I remember, we talked about, like, putting the cart before the horse a little bit last time, but it's like, it's just interesting to me. Saying how come you and always tell when I record the episodes after therapy? God damn it. Um well one of the things that I realized is like, okay, so like one of my favorite podcasts in the whole world is the Adventure Zone.
There's character on The Avengers own name is Magnus burnside's and Magnus is known for rushing. It that's like his whole thing is Magnus. Russia's it. And that's like the thing that he does and I've always kind of like I've always sort of like felt like that. Like I felt like if I'm Going to do something, I just do it, right?
Like if I'm just kind of like Leroy Jenkins like a goddamn buying a hurdy-gurdy, ER I guess I'm becoming a magician or like whatever but because of my passion and because of my excitement and I think a little bit having to do with like my
hyper-focus. I I just I just do it, I just do the thing, but I think the scary part of this, and the thing that I'm like, really, really scared of and really, really nervous about is. I've been thinking a lot About all the times that rushing in has fucked me over and how many times I have like inadvertently, like not on purpose.
I've never hurt anybody, I love on purpose, but how many times I've like rushed to do something and really profoundly hurt, the people that I love and it's happened. Quite a few times in like, really major ways and so, I don't know, like, I'm just in this like, really weird place where I'm just like, I'm so excited. Did and I'm so truly just like passionate about this project
like I think it's a great idea. I've been telling you know like it's cool just make a bunch of noise while I'm talking. I'm just kidding. It's fine. But you know like I've been telling friends about it and I'm just getting incredible feedback like across the board from like especially from like my neurodivergent friends were like oh my God like this is a show about us. This is a show about the ADHD experience.
This is a show about falling in love with something and then Next week, you're falling in love with something else, but you still carry the things that you've learned, you know, you carry, what you've learned from Magic into ballet, you carry what you learned from ballet and to playing the cello like whatever it is. But I'm scared that rushing in.
I don't know, like I'm just this is all going so fast and moving so quickly that like I just I'm I just don't want, I just don't want to fuck it up. Yeah, I know what you mean II think, I think we've talked about this on an episode of long time ago, but my experience is that I've always either rushed in or grossly, over prepared and then never actually did it. Yeah, it's one or the other and I think it was formerly. It was only the first one. I would only ever rush into
things. But like you said, like, when you do that, You inevitably, incidentally hurt people or yourself, you know, not, sometimes it's insignificant, it's not like a huge thing, you know, sort of me to say, like, every time he would be maimed. Someone kind, you know, buying an Xbox one time, you know, something like that.
But, you know, you invariably end up detracting from other people's, you know, experiences in some way sometimes, and in doing that, like, oh shit, I don't like that, you know, I don't like the fact that my lack of forethought is hurting people, I love. So I'm going to swing to the absolute motherfucking opposite end of the spectrum.
And I'm going to think super crazy, insanely hard for three weeks before I even begin to start doing anything towards whatever it is making a TV show, starting a new job, writing a book cleaning the fucking kitchen. Like I'm going to think about it at length until eventually I usually just don't start and so I like I flip flop back and forth. Yeah. Because I'll do one thing. I'll either Russia. And then have a negative experience because I rushed in
and so they are. Okay next time I'll prepare and then I'll prepare and prepare and prepare and think and think and think and think until I eventually know exactly how I want to do it but by the time I've got to that point like the it's no longer the thing to do I'm on to the next thing and so that I don't do it. Then I go.
Okay I definitely thought way too hard that much next time I got to just put more into just going for it and so the next time, I'll just go for it and then eventually have a negative experience doing that and I'll just go back and forth and back and forth. So with this show TV, show the show. I'm, I'm trying to strike a healthier balance, and I think, I think I've been getting a better over time at balancing those that, you know, those two
things. But this one, you know, this is very important to me. And so I think now I'm trying to figure out what what our thing is that I need to feel really confident about and what are things that I can sort of trust
in the process. Trust in, you know, the pills like what exactly am I going to say and talk to Eric Tate about as he's teaching me. The first trick I do know like as I know more about what he's thinking in terms of tone and once we get into the space, all that stuff will start to come together but I'm not gonna wing making sure we get usable audio.
You know because no matter what happens if we don't get good video and audio then we don't have a show and so like I think that's why I'm leaning more into making sure that our technical parts of it or at least there. enough, but I think you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I think you're You're more, you feel that way towards sort of the script and the the outline of the thing. Like that, it seems like please turn around but it seems like that's the thing that you're
like. Now this we really need to be prepared for, you know, I mean, I think it's a couple of it's like I can't picture stuff and so like for me scripts, really help because I at least go like okay, like I can't necessarily like visualize like a dope As credit sequence, but I can be like, okay, here's how the credit sequence fits into the introduction, and here's how the introduction.
You know, we're going to hit these five bullet points in the introduction and then, you know, segue and, you know, wouldn't it be cool if we could get a shot of like the inside of the theater here? Like, whatever. And so for me it's like I don't want to spend a bunch of time learning how to fly a drone if we're never going to use a drone shot, you know. So like that's like my thing is like, figure out what we need like. Like, I don't know. I think we approach it from to
your places. Oh, yeah. Um, where you're thinking like, let's identify precisely what we need and then learn to execute that. Yeah, whereas I'm sort of saying, let's learn a broad set of things so that would no matter what we need were able to do it. And yeah, I think both of us.
I mean, I think they're both good to have because I think the beauty of a script is it also limits because right now like one of the big problems it turns out with having just you know, carte blanche to make a web series be whatever you want it to be, is that it can literally be anything you want it to be.
And so, it's like I'm Paralyzed by the infinite potential right now, you know, where it's like, if we had a script then it's like, okay, like we got a script, let's figure out, you know, what, three shots we need for this like little sequence or whatever, but I don't know. I don't think that there's like a right way or wrong way, but like scooter and I mean, I think that's why we generally work well together because I think both of those approaches are necessary.
So long as they can be reconciled with accurate, you know? No, communication towards a common goal, which I think we do at least. I don't think we both know what it's like. And I think, I think this is something that I'm like, weirdly clinging onto, but I feel like we both know what it's like to get really, really invested in something and really, really
passionate about something. And then it Fizzles, for whatever reason, is this, the dopamine wears off for the excitement wears off, or you get distracted, or there's another shiny new hobby. Something and I think like, I don't want to feel your feelings for you, but I think like we both kind of have a similar fear in that in like what if we get bored like you know that's always and so and so and that's why I keep a noxious Lee looking at you being like promise.
We'll finish just promise we'll finish this episode because I also think like sometimes it can be really easy to be like, oh well, that's just what happens. But it's like this is a really weird way to say what I'm about to say, but it's like I Scree. Such a weird way to I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everybody at home. We can be like, what the fuck are you talking about?
For the next five minutes, the like I express my love, like my love, like my love for you or my love for my hobbies or whatever like I show that by showing up because for me, having ADHD finishing things doing things You know, finish thing, finishing things well and write and correctly or even going at all, you know, going to the party, going to the going to the post office and mailing the bill like whatever it is hard to show up. It's hard to show up and so for
me that's how I show it is. Like I care about you. I show up for you if I you know care about our relationship like I show up for the things. Thing I show up for the podcast. I show up at conventions because I care about our community like I show up but I'm really Scared to show up for this like, because I'm like, what happens? You know, what happens if this takes off or whatever but there's also like an immediacy
to it, you know? And, and so like for me it's like I'm having a podcast break through and I hate it but it's like I just do. I rush in, right? But like that's how I show up as if you need help. I Rush In And I show up for you or if I feel like I can be of use, even if you haven't told me like, hey, maybe I don't need this or whatever, like I Rush In And there's like an immediacy to
that. And so, showing up slowly showing up gradually showing up. Every day to like, do a little bit of work is is it's like, itchy. It's like itchy, and it's strange and it's unfamiliar because I'm used to just either like Leroy Jenkins thing it because I'm just passionate and that passion is going to power me through or just giving up entirely because I got distracted or, you know, moving on to the next thing.
But I think that like, this is an opportunity at least for me, I don't say like for you, but like this, what I'm really realizing is that this whole thing, this whole project, the way that this is gone, there is an immediacy to it like we, you know, we're on a time frame, we're on a time crunch, whatever. But I feel like there is Beauty in the lack of immediacy because it means that we get to show up in the way that is going to make it work.
But that's uncomfortable. Mmm, you know, does that make any sense at all? You know what I'm saying? Well actually, I I think so. Yeah, like hmm. Hmm. Uh, a lot of a lot of How is it
getting something done? A lot of the showing up a lot of the results that you're looking for from showing up, you know, whether that's the finishing of the project or just the expression of your love for someone or something, the results can often be achieved through just tenacity and intensity just fucking going for it. You know, like if a friend said, hey will you come over to my house and help me move this weekend? You know, work for 10 hours, hauling stuff and getting I'll
sweat. Like I'll do that every time. Like I'm great at that because that's just intensity, that's just fucking go. But if somebody says, hey can you text me? You know, we call me once a week for the next six months. Like that's arguably a lot less effort but holy fuck like that's hard. So I think part of this is you know intensity and tenacity can't replace tact in this and I think that's kind of scary.
At least it's scary to me. Where there has to be steadfast Fast planning and literacy with process and literacy with you know, our own scripts and stuff like that, that can't be replaced with just sheer enthusiasm and energy which is usually how I get things done. Is just like throwing myself at
it as hard as I can. Or as this isn't just think he's just like scary to me because it's like, wow, I really want this to succeed and I think this could be really cool and I think I think this could be really fun, and I also think that this could be like a job, like, this could be like a like a, like, a try guy's ass dedicated job, where we get to just go around and learn and be passionate and educate people and get excited about things and hear people get excited about things and like,
that's what I've wanted to do my entire life. Like it is so funny because it's like I've always felt like I've never known what I wanted to do and then I started doing all of this and what I realized is that like I want to be passionate and interested and excited for my job and that this is like one of the first times that I'm like I could see this being a thing for a while but like we got to show up in the right way and we gotta we gotta show up, we can't Russian we have to methodically
Plan, the steps that take us to quite literally, like, the next level of. Okay. Now, we have a plan, we're learning and it's fucking terrifying because it's way way different than just rushing in guns blazing and moving out of an apartment and a night, right?
Yeah. I mean I'm reminded again of that saying my jazz teacher said to me, when I was in high school he said we learn in order to Forget, You know, the reason that jazz musicians practice scales Al's an insane amount in practice arpeggios and just all of it. The reason that they learn those things. So intensely is so that they don't have to think about them anymore. This is that they can just play music and they don't have to think about all that technique.
And so for me, you know what, this looks like to me if this became the thing, like the gig, you know, what this looks like to me right now is not 0, we get to go. Learn to do magic or learn to wrestle. You know, for a living, I get to produce a TV show TV, show and edit a TV show for a living. It just so happens that the footage. I needed to edit that TV show involves me doing this stuff because that's like a week of
doing something. You know, bookended by, you know, a month of prep and three weeks of editing afterwards. So, like for me, this whole thing doesn't look like just going to learn magic. It's no, this is about documenting. A very specific set of things that are going to occur in five days.
Five days are going to occur. Your job is to document that the you know, be prepared to document that with all the technique in Tech, the technical whatever is to do it and then after that produce some content worth watching after that. So the actual doing of it is like the smallest part, like that is the tiniest little fart. And so my dream is to get to the point where we have an editor and a crew that comes with.
So we can focus all of our energy on finding the things to do when making the connections with the people. And then going and doing those things because right now, that's like the smallest, you know, part of all of it to me, I mean, it's the part I'm most excited about, but right now the job is to produce an entire TV show from scratch. It just so happens, we need to also do this other cool stuff to do that. Which again, I'm very excited for. It's all right.
Oh, someday I will be making at least $12 and we can hire another editors cost, $12 right? Yeah. Well I mean My dream. I really want to get like a, you know, like a like a, like a movie comes out and it's like a drama or something like that, you know? Like let's say, like, it's a western drama or something. Okay. And then he find out like, oh yeah, but the director and Director of Photography, they had formerly only ever done, like anime or something like
that. Yeah. And so the, the the, you know, the cowboy movie it's like Movie, but it's also just like different, it comes from, like a different place I can think about. Like, I really want the editor of like the most over-the-top 2005 game show with like graphics and explosions. And tonight, I'm Gucci bag Ebu like and then like cut to like a straight to camera. Like, I can't believe Becky betrayed me like that Joe Rogan in?
No, no. But I want the editors of those types of things and then move them from there to the thing that were picturing or I'm picturing. The thing that we're making here just lead, well, I'm over here picturing like Lucy Worsley investigates, like the S, masterpieces documents things. Should we have two very different visions of what this project is. Which I think is also one of the best parts of it.
Yeah. Well, because honestly, it's not going to be Fear Factor or like I can Loosely really. It's not going to be either of those. I'm just gonna be something entirely different it's just it helps to start with something familiar and then move from there sometimes and you know somebody like the editor is used
to doing that kind of stuff. Then I think the DNA of like the intensity and momentum of those kinds of shows or if we get someone who does like Lucy where's Lisa for, if we get somebody who's done both see where it's like, we just got Lucy and Ruth Goodman. It's me and Lucy and Ruth Goodman and we go around solving Mysteries and you can film it out of it. Fuck you? That's the news. I'll take that extra inventory
so it's not cancelled. I just want to learn about bread and heart history with Lucy and Ruth Goodman. It's easier to be either in front of the camera or behind the camera. It's very hard to depose. Let's start with. I don't know what's going to happen, but I feel like, no matter what happens, it will have been a really, really valuable learning experience along the way For Better, or For Worse. But we just We are, we gotta do it. Gotta do it. Gotta do the same thing.
Fuck. It's gonna be great. I'm so I'm excited. I'm excited. See the pants baby. Seems the carrots. I'm so afraid. I'm just so so afraid because I just want to do a good job because I care. Thanks. So are you will find it out of there? If you're an editor even we can pay you twelve cookies. I will make just thinking like we're kind of wrapping up saying we'll just saying, you know, little things too like fade out at the end.
Then you're like, if you're an editor like, oh, okay, everybody got to keep that in one side. That's fine. The Fade Out. Okay. Now we can just fade out on the sorry.