Oh hello and welcome to season 1 episode 22 of infinite Quest. It's me Eric. Good before we begin this episode requires a bit of explanation. You're going to hear is talk a little bit at the beginning about how this is episode 18. Well, that's because at the beginning of episode 18, our Q&A episode, we got super off track because we are pero ADHD years and ended up having a pretty interesting conversation about systems and routines.
How they work and how they are sustainable, and how some of them aren't sustainable. It's a good time. Just a quick reminder. Before we begin, if you would like to help support Katie and my's mission of the mental health advocacy and education, you can become a member of our patreon at patreon.com infinite Quest where you'll have access to some exclusive content and overall, just our undying love
and affection. And please do consider sharing the show if you like it. Without further Ado, here's infinite Quest. Transition. Hello and welcome to infinite Quest. Episode 18, Katie. Our podcast is an adult now, it's an adult person podcast. It is an assistant. Don't person buy me a city polling. Morphing into an adult person podcast, anyway, because we keep being like, let's talk about sex baby. It's the logic. There makes a lot of sense.
Yeah, it's an adult podcast starting on, but it's not though it's not all ages podcast because if we, you know, I mean, I don't know what what ages are pod. Like, I don't want like seven-year-olds, Need to our podcast. That be weird. That would be kind of weird our key demographic that is seven-year-old with the patience to listen to podcast though. Narvik seven-year-olds. Listen up. I don't know anything about children.
Children don't know. Do you think they're any babies that listen to podcasts like in the womb and they come out speaking like Terry Gross or something? Probably, I mean, you know, you like like pregnant ladies, like put like headphones on there on there. Yeah. Let me see. It wasn't like that. Like Bazar and shit. Mozart. Mozart felt like it's exactly like the Earth Oven and Debussy. See Claude Debussy really a big fan of Wagner. So me too. So this episode we got a really good response.
We're going to we got a classical composer names because really like the chick chick, I can do, I can was going to turn into a Tchaikovsky joke that I realized that I only know how to pronounce it correctly and I didn't want to try and mess, I don't know how to pronounce it mistaken correctly shot to snatch caps that was awful. I'm sorry. What are we doing? I want you to really talk about what you just did. Katie.
I was I was bad. I'm thinking about it and I'm just like I know that this is gonna go on the podcast because so a couple weeks ago we did a Q&A that we got really good responses about apparently you all really liked it, and that's awesome. Thank you so much for all your, your your nice words and what not? Quite questions and stuff. Yeah, the people have demanded more, Eric, the people the people have sent us their questions. We Had so many good questions we
did and it feels bad. We have to mention, we have to just pick a couple of them and do them, but he's so if you don't hear your question on this episode Stick Around, we might have it on the next Q&A because we can only do a couple because we could hug because we spend 45 minutes of the episode riffing about ripping at the beginning. Yeah. Debussy debauchery Debussy. Gary Debussy. I never thought of that. That's so funny.
So anyways. Katie, Katie, dial it in dial it in. Come on, I'm sorry dilated. I forgot to drink to take my meds today and might have it. Oh, I just took mine recently. I probably even kicked in full yet, I just like others. This is like the second podcast in a row where I've like straight up just about like, no, I'm good morning. And then I haven't taken my meds and I'm feel like I need to be better about it. You probably do Katie. Do you have a little pill
organizer? I do have a pill organizer and actually, I have set myself a little pill organizer Katie. I like, I want you. This is a real thing. This is how this is, we can talk about this first. This is interesting, I've set myself up for Success so hard and yet it's it's still so hard, which is so annoying because it's like, I've done everything right. Like I've put the the little organizer and I keep it in the spot and I put a little glass of water so I don't even have to
look for water. I can just like be like Gulp and then I'm good. He's on plus every and then every morning something stupid happens. Like, that's like this morning, I My first alarm, I'm sorry, woke up in a panic thinking that I was late to podcast recording.
I was in fact not but then I got new pans for the kitchen and they showed up and then I was excited and distracted and so I was unpacking pots and pans in the morning and then I realized that in my excitement of unpacking pots and pans because apparently I'm a very boring adult. Now I just completely forgotten to do any part of my morning routine. So actually I don't, I don't think I've peed yet today. Hey, did you need to take a second? Go to the bathroom. Okay. Katie Katie.
Go to the bathroom. Okay, I'm okay. Are you sure? I'm trusting you? Yeah, I don't have to be right out. I think this hand, I can't remember if I Peter Dot I really don't remember it's fine. Anyway, if I have to pee, I'll tell you, I trust you. Thanks.
It's well, I gosh that that wasn't one of our questions, but now I'm I just, I was just thinking a big problem that I have with routines and I think a lot of people with ADHD have the problem that a lot of people with ADHD have about what their routines is that they inevitably, they have to be modular at some point because there is no like regular morning. There's never like, just like a default stock like standard-issue morning.
There's always Something, there's always something that is a little different and that toe for me, that totally throws off my routine. Like, if I wake up and I do have my water and my pills laid out, but it's like, particularly cold that day, you know, it's like a little thing. And so when I roll over like my blanket reveals my shoulder and I'm like oh gosh I couldn't possibly take my meds with a cold shoulder, I think I'll give them the cold shoulder.
Ha ha ha, and it's like but sear likes that is that has actually happened by the way trees. Story and so I'm like, you know, like I guess I'll not reach the five feet away to get them because it's cold this morning, and that'll throw me to all the way off. I should wear pajamas, is this, the, the obvious solution to that problem, but so many ways, perhaps on a later Q&A. I think how, to how to make your routines modular enough to like adapt to pull audibles to weird
situations. It's weird because like, like I know this, I know we just said, this isn't a question but I'm interested in. I want to talk about it, like my Like before the pandemic like my job was so variable that like I think I just got used to that modular structure because like sometimes I was sitting in my office and I was negotiating
contracts. Sometimes I was, you know, like literally traveling to different Renaissance festivals and like recruiting sometimes I was like, directing the street, like, there was like, my job was so different from hour to hour. Dated, like, there was no structure to it. It was just like, show up and like, whatever happens happens and whatever you get down, you get done.
And so, like, I think, Yeah, I learned to navigate in that structure and then during the pandemic, that struck, that structure went away that like unpredictable structure went away, but, but there's still a structure within it. And now, like, my structure has completely changed to almost be more the same because it's like, I wake up. I make an educational Tick-Tock. I talk to you, we work on the podcast. And so, I have more of like a regular thing. So, now, smaller interruptions
feel like a bigger deal. Because I'm my brain is getting used to that schedule. Huh?
Do you think does it make it harder or easier that there isn't an external thing, causing you to maintain a structure definitely harder because I just, I have to, I have to rely on myself and like, I think that is, that's it started helping a little bit but stuff like meds is harder stuff like remembering to brush my teeth is now harder because before, like, I would have liked I kept a toothbrush in my office and like right now,
if I forgot to brush my teeth in the morning or whatever, I might like remember it like 3 p.m. but it's because I was in the middle of sampling. Like literally this is a thing that happened. We were like sampling Mead and turkey legs in the office. Like that was just a thing that we would do. How do you land that gig? Listen, my first day of work at the Renaissance Festival.
My boss rolled into my office with a tray of five turkey legs, and was like, try these and tell me which one we liked you like, and it was like 9:30 on Me. And that was the first thing that I did at my new job and I was like this the weirdest fucking job I've ever had fucking miss that job so much. But anyway, so yeah. So I mean, like so having now this this structure that I've sort of fallen into completely by accident, it's like make a tick.
Tock do a live call you? We work on the podcast. I make another tip, you know. Now, since that structure exists, it's it feels so different to have like a box of pots and pans. Show up, because before it be like, oh yeah, box probably go, okay, and be like, I'm gonna go do this again. This thing and I've got 47 things on my to-do list, but now that becomes Earth-shattering, whereas, before my brain just went, oh yeah, it's another
thing and it's weird. It's weird how that reversal has like profoundly affected those like strategies and methodologies that I had built pre-pandemic. Yeah, I think for me and it seems like this might be analogous to you to what you're describing. If I have an external thing like a job where like I'm on the payroll and I have to be somewhere to perform certain stuff. My ADHD is like afraid of that
almost. Yeah. And it's not like it goes away but if I let's say I wake up and I have an hour before I have to leave for the bus to get to work my ADHD. It still is there, it's still I still feel the urge to go. Oh, but I got a package, I got open that package. Oh, but I like always, I told my room and I would do that, you know, the dishes. I got to do that so it still is up there.
But for some reason, it's easier for me to because I have this hard line to be like Eric No, you can open that package when you get home, you need to do this. There's like an adrenaline to it almost then I have to leave the the house at a certain time it makes me think of like so another hold on. Well so it makes me think about that what naropa nephron does for Focus.
So like if dopamine is sort of a reward based Focus thing, where if you have a low amount of dopamine your cravings, Something to happen, you know, to raise it back to normal and as you as you start the new thing, your brain goes. Oh, you started to think cool. That's great. And the sort of keeps you motivated in that way, norepinephrine, very Loosely speaking naropa, nephron, does
different things. Depending on where your body it's secreted, fascinating it operates as a neurotransmitter and an endorphin, which is pretty cool or a hormone, excuse me. But anyways, it acts in sort of a fighter flight. This mode. We're like if you're doing something and then suddenly you're in danger, your brain goes, oh whatever I'm doing.
Don't care. I'm focusing on this new thing and so this is I'm not saying that this is true but it makes me think about the fact that the focus that I feel when there is an absolute imperative. When I have to leave for work or else I am in big trouble it's a fundamentally different kind of focus that I feel like when I'm hyper focused on building a model or something like that, it's not like a reward-based
focus. It's like an avoidance Of a consequence almost and I feel like having an external structure sort of stimulates me in that way. And then when my structure is all on my own, it's like if I'm not, nobody's going to punish me if I don't do the thing. I'm just not like, I, it has to hopefully, be rewarding I suppose. It's, yeah. It's, I mean, it's, I feel like it's the, it's a question of accountability. There's external accountability,
and internal accountability. Like if I don't get out of bed and make a tick tock, I'm not getting fired. I'm just like I just have Done my job, my job for the world, but nobody on Tick, Tock knows except for me, whereas like, if I don't show up to work until 11:30 because I was unboxing pots and pans in my kitchen. Like, my boss is gonna know and notice that and so that like yeah, I think I just said the same exact thing as you. You're welcome. Did you agree with me? Katie Mike?
Ah, she didn't, well, how this is it? It's historic moment I've never ever agree. Somebody write it down. Well, so this is me actually asking you like, actually me Eric asking you Katie because I want to know how would you have any stress, okay? To you better be nervous. You're in the hot seat, you and you, and baby Yoda there in the hot seat. Hi, Welcome to our new segment called the hot seat with Katie unary. What? How like, how genuinely, how do you do it?
Like, do you have strategies in place? Like, I know you have certain criteria that you meet like posting three times a day. Making sure you do like an educational one and like a, but How how do you what techniques do you use to get yourself to follow your own structure as much as you would follow a structure that has been externally put on You by say a job?
Goddamn, that's a good question and I don't know if I have a good answer and actually I do have a good answer but it's going to require a lot of like Meandering. So just know please School in baby. I got nowhere to be, shut up Brian. I refuse to move on to talk about. This has Brian been vetoed. Things that we were supposed to get to the Q&A like 10 minutes ago, but I've decided to to veto Brian in this, I act your size my executive right to be, oh my
gosh. Wow. Okay now we're going to we're destroying The hierarchy of this show, that's dangerous. The slippery slope you. I only do. I only get one of those a season. So I just I just use my executive veto. It's a 60-member majority in the house to in the Senate and he said, yeah, it's people Jag. What are you doing here? It's not a set of ever me and, uh, us what Senator? I don't know why he was like the first person that came to mind but I just thought it would be
funny. You got a son named my daughter really plugged in. I got anyway. So, what was the question? Again, question was, how do you keep the question was Katie? How do you keep yourself? How do you hold yourself to your own standards? Basically, right? How do you keep yourself on a schedule that you yourself have set. I have an answer, but I don't know if it's going to be useful, but my answer is that I wasn't diagnosed until I was 30.
And before that, in the Before Time, When I Didn't know what was going on with my brain and I didn't have the terminology in the understanding. What I did know, was that my self-worth and my success and my failure was wrapped up on doing the thing. Particularly, because my background is in performance and my background is in Academia, and the Sinister, and Insidious combination of performance Academia is awful because you have to do the work.
Or the work doesn't happen. And so I think that a lot of my strategies and a lot of the ways that I cope and a lot of the ways that I deal with, how do you internally and externally motivate yourself are very unhealthy and I know that like, I know that about myself but because those are the strategies that the systems that I built, Those are the systems that I know how to navigate it and so that is why I like when I talk about systems and and I educate about like building your own
systems. I always try really hard to to educate from a place of like, but make sure that they're healthy, make sure that there are system that works for you. Because there's a difference between a system that works and a success and a system that is successful. Hmm. And a system that works can be very psychologically damaging. Being a system that works can be exhausting and, and awful and contribute negatively to your
mental health. Whereas a successful system is one that solves the problem that you're having but also doesn't, you know, tip the scale in the other direction and as I've been sort of like working on on unpacking that and like working through my own systems, I'm realizing how many of my systems Are based on a system that works not a successful system and
that's not good. And so the answer to the question is because I have placed much of my much of my self-worth and my self-esteem in my success as a performer and an educator and an Entertainer. Because that's something that I
care about deeply. And so, in the morning when I wake up and I'm sad and I don't want to get out of bed, it's not necessarily A system that is based on the internal motivation of, but you're going to feel good about yourself if you post a video because a lot of times I'll make a video and I'll go it's garbage. That shit. And I'm a terrible person and no one should ever look at my face
because I'm horrible. But then I check back, you know, two hours later and 10,000 people have seen that video and people have commented like, oh my gosh, I never thought about this way or wow, like you really showed me something valuable and you taught me something valuable about myself. And so, I'm not necessarily getting out of bed for myself. I'm getting out of bed for the people who need to hear about the Action between ADHD and eating disorders or ADHD and
depression or whatever. I happen to be talking about.
And so the structures that I'm building our very tenuous and I'm trying to be careful because their systems that are built around communicating information to help other people and so I know that that's not the best thing but it's like the thing that I have right now and as infinite Quest has Come more stable and more viable and as people are sort of like supporting what we do and seeing what we do and saying, yes, I see you, I see what you're trying to do.
We believe in you, we believe in the podcast like all of that stuff. That is what is starting to turn the tide for me. Like that is what is starting to become the moment where I go? Oh I feel good about this because like now, instead of like getting out of bed to make a tick, tock I'm getting out of bed to do this. This thing with you and I take pride in it because like, I'm seeing the value in our work and I'm seeing the value in my contribution to infinite quest in a way that I think.
Sometimes I can't see in other places that was a very long-winded answer, and I'm very sorry. Oh my gosh, Katie, it's a podcast. Your, it's your job is to do, long-winded answers, and that was wonderful, you know, but like sometimes I just, like, I get like really wrapped up in an idea and then I just like go off. Because I have ADHD and I just start like ranting excitedly so I just I'm sorry that I talked
for so long. Also a quick side note, if anybody has any suggestions for how to get Katie to stop apologizing for existing, we are please email us at infinite Quest podcast at gmail.com. We've tried a sorry jar, that doesn't work. We just end up spending all of our money in the sorry jar. Anyways, back to the topic, I
think act. Oh my God. You remember like I feel like the Um with the sorry jar is that like when you started going to the bank to withdraw money in ones because you know that by the end of the week you're just going to have to have like put your entire paycheck in a jar for saying. Sorry that's when he realized that it's more of a like a. It's not like a cute problem
anymore. It's like an actual problem, but I don't know how to fix it. I've worked so hard on it and I genuinely have no idea how to fix it. Oh yeah. I mean, I'm serious. We're taking suggestions, I really mean it. We need help, but I think on terms of following systems, Creating your own systems to follow them. I think what you talked about like a what you called A system that works very good versus a system that is successful. I think the successful system inherently is sustainable.
I think there's an element of sustainability. Yeah. For example. For example, if I'm hungry and I order like, $70 worth of sushi, which is a terrible thing that I do occasionally like that has successfully solved my Hunger problem. I'm not hungry anymore, but that is not a sustainable way. I can't do that every time. I'm hungry.
It's not sustainable. And so a more sustainable would be going to the grocery store and buying groceries, like a regular person and all that, which is but still Fascinate. I'm still wrapping my head around that concept, but so do we just so I think there are ways to get yourself to do something in a non-sustainable way. And I think what sort of interesting about what we're, what we specifically are doing, is that I find a lot.
I find it a lot easier to keep myself accountable because I feel accountable to the people who consume the things that I'm producing and so, rather than me just thinking, you know, I have to do this for me. You know, I have to clean the my kitchen for me, it's you know, whatever I'm thinking I'm doing this for these people because they get something out of it. They they've claimed to get something Of it and I believe
them. So I think it's sort of interesting that at the end of the day it is still in I guess for me it is still being accountable to other people but it is. It is sustainable it is we've built a community like that's what happened for me is like I started tick-tocking for myself, I started like making technique, you know, just like shitposting or whatever.
But like I really do feel like the infinite Quest family has become a family and it's like and it's like like I wake up in the morning and I'm excited to be like I learned this new thing or like let's record a podcast with this cool person or whatever because we are we're part of that community and and like that it means something to me you know, Yeah, it's it's it's just said it's like, five times. That's okay. I find it really hard to do things for myself. I think.
And so a lot of the times routines, such good friends. I know, I never do anything for myself. Unity to do anything for you yourself, but between the two but I will do anything for you and I think you do quite a bit for Maine's but we're obviously our powers combined kitty pop me groceries this week. Yeah, because you fucking will refuse to take care of Yourself. And if you're not going to take care of yourself, I will take care of you for you. So drink your Lacroix and shut up.
Oh, hello. You've made it to the middle of the episode. Congratulations, I thought I'd take this opportunity to announce a guest. We're going to be having on that were super excited, about co-host of the Paranormal and True Crime podcast. And that's why we drink em. Shoals has recently been diagnosed with ADHD and they're coming on to talk about their diagnosis experience and what Else comes up.
Look out for that episode. Also for all you ADHD and D lovers, we have new merch available at our red bubble shop. You can find it at a red bubble.com infinite Quest. We also have new Tony the Unicorn merch sent in by Mike. Lee Productions. Thanks Mike, just a warning, it is explicit. Anyways, back to the show. Transfusion. Hey everybody. It's me Katie asaurus and we just wanted to let you know that this week's episode is brought to you by our good friends over at honey.
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relationships. So we will be posting that content soon so you have that to look forward to. So again, use code infinite Quest. If you want 20 percent off your order over at Honey, play box. And have have fun. Okay. Bye. Our producer. Brian is telling us that we have to move on to the Q&A. So well, Kitty. I don't know if you've been paying attention, but I believe I still have one veto. Spent your veto. I have a veto. I'm vetoing Brian. I'm vetoing.
Brian. I want to talk about the double veto. Episode is a double veto. I know. We're supposed to do. A Q&A. Brian has never felt so unapproved, like look at how droopy and said his tentacles are right now. Brian. Just like just like schlump the way he feels. No, I'm sorry and I love you, I heard him. Slither away all dejected. Sorry Brian.
It's nothing personal. Well like I genuinely one of the great mysteries of my life is that under certain circumstances like my ADHD still existed always exists but I can just slam like a pro at at just doing the stuff like me being a
professional cook. Like when I walk into my kitchen like you know you walk in through the back door, you walk in everybody, like this is working and they look up and they like not at you and you're like hey and you're like hey you like hang up your coat and you hang up your knife Roll and you wash your hands for like a half an hour. And then, you know, now that you put you at, make sure your mask is nice and tight and all that stuff.
You put on your apron and you go to your station and like, then my whole brain, like I just become an avatar of process where it's like I just suddenly become this like superhero where I'm like okay what do I need to do today? And I make one list and I dump everything that I have to do that day. Like I have to blanch this, I have to cut that. I have to mix. Do I have to shape? Do I have to do all the stuff? And then I'll make a second list. That groups those tasks by location that way.
I'm not physically move because I have hyperactive fide ADHD. And if I let myself, I will run around the kitchen all day. And so I'll thank, oh, all of that can be done on this station and so rather than same thing. Do you really I do? We'll cuz like the Renaissance Festival was 35 Acres. Yeah. And there's seven different there. Seven different stages and like for pubs or whatever, Plus like the office in the costume. Like you know all the different like backstage stuff.
And so yeah. Like when I was making like, my suit, my to-do list for like every single day was usually like at least one piece of paper if not two but I would always
divide it by location. So I wasn't like running back and forth and I had like I mapped out the most efficient route to get around the festival because there's like you know pass-throughs and there's like little paths and stuff that you could get to. And so I figured out like if I have to go to every single stage like what is them like that? Was my mind that you did the same thing, but like in the kit
like that never like that. Never occurred to me to do just in real life because like the festivals like the size of an actual town. And so it made sense to me but like, that makes so much goddamn sense. Well, it came out of being or like, that's so like, how did I never think about until right now? Well, it came out of absolute necessity. Because so when I was so quick story time we're still on the topic of how do we keep ourselves to Iran?
The system's, when you know, just so that, but systems that work versus successful system, would you like? I need a better. We need a better, like distinctive term. I think it's, I think it's sustainable systems versus like, assist a system that is like a sustainable system versus like a functional system. But I honestly like, that's what I called it in The Tick-Tock that I did about this. I feel like I said sustainable
system. So like that's I'm thinking of like, I'm thinking of like sugar versus like, protein like Both have a lot of calories in them. They will both cause your body to put like to survive, but you can't just eat sugar every day. Says, you challenge accepted Eric. So when I was quick story time, so I used to work in the nicest restaurant I've ever been inside, it was like like Ratatouille level like insanely nice restaurant. I was not qualified inch laundry.
What was in that it was like a couple week. I shared a zip code with the French Laundry. It was it was in Napa California. Yeah, yeah. So this is like a fancy boy. Oh yeah, I want you the name of the restaurant but we and I also want to give too much because I want people to be able to backtrack it but like we had our own farm. So like, when we were chopping vegetables, it was vegetables that we grew on our Farm, like, not me specifically, but it was,
it was incredible. I mean, looking back. It was the nicest produce I've ever seen in my life. It was insane. Like, every tomato was just like the most perfect tomato nuts. Anyways, I was woefully unqualified for this job. Just woefully unqualified. No I got it. Through is like a mixture of connections and white privilege like really like really looking back, it's like holy shit. That was a huge example of male
white privilege that. I like could just walk in there and be confident and they would hire me. It's a whole thing. Anyways, so I have this job and I am is so far out of my depths like so catastrophically far out of my depth that the only way that I could make it through a shift without getting screamed at by my chef. Who was a screamer Was by organizing everything down to like the 32nd time interval, like it obsessively. And so, I would the day before I would write out the tasks for
the next next day. And when I was at home, I drew a map of the kitchen and so, I would think, okay. So I have to make, you know, Remillard, I have to make tartar sauce, I have to make hollandaise, I have to make dice this do that and I would draw a map of exactly the route that I
was going to take around. Kitchen looks like and what I was going to grab at each location and so I had to develop systems like that, just to not get screamed at at work basically, which was not a sustainable system that was all in. Pursuit of not getting yelled at. So I had to like break my fingers to try to get all that stuff done. But anyway, feel like out of that says I sorry I didn't mean to cut you off but now I'm curious. I have a real question for you Eric.
Oh yeah. Okay, so please enjoy my ASMR couch noises because yeah please, it hurts so bad and I keep having to move around. Um do you think that out of that unsustainable system came a functional system because you taught Self that system out of necessity. Yeah, I think it was sort of an extreme when when Patrick Lawler was on. We talked about the concept of bracketing, the target, which is kind of morbid.
But like, if you're shooting a mortar at a Target, you shoot a little too far than a little not far enough and that a little less too far. And then a little less not far enough. So you're off shooting either side of it until you eventually Hit the Target. And so, that whole experience was an exercise in too far. Like, What if I I have to organize every 30 second, time
interval. What if I have to, if I can't do anything without meticulously planning it, and one I realized, That my brain is built in a way that is not conducive to that. It was useful to know just about myself, but it also taught me just technically how to do that. I was aware of what that looked like and that has helped me in every aspect of my life.
Like, for example, editing this podcast, the first time I did it, it took me a certain amount of time and now that I'm doing it, I have developed processes and specific techniques because of my kitchen experience, that allow me to have my mise en. Plus KT and do things that I just really, really interested in how like 15 and a half hours. We're just casually calling a certain amount of time. Well, I didn't want to drop this. It was a long time.
Katie was a really think it's important that people hear that though too, because it's like, like, kind of hate saying to piggyback off of what you said, but like to piggyback off of what you said, like I think one of the things about sustainable systems is like, they become Sustainable over time and as you streamline and strategize and re-evaluate the parts that
aren't working. Like some of the systems that I have in my life are really, really sustainable systems but they're ones that I've been like. Well what if instead of putting my hair brush here I put it here and I save a minute you know and then the next time I save you know 20 seconds or whatever and so they become Far more streamlined and far, more practical. And and like a real world example, is editing the
podcasts. Like, we have gotten so much faster and better at editing this because like we understand what it, what we need to make this sustainable because like I mean we we both know like we've stayed up until 3:00 4:00 in the morning editing the podcast for the next day and that's not
sustainable, right? But that's like the system that we have been working in. It's like, that's the system that we built and so finding ways to make it more sustainable and not taking 17 hours to edit is, I think it makes it so much healthier. But you can apply that to any system is, you can streamline it and you can and you can make it more practical and more efficient. It's you don't have to scrap the whole thing. You just have to find those moments of improvement.
Yeah, I think we learn. I think we learn different techniques in different. Use of our lives, like, all all experience. Everywhere is applicable. You can learn different things in systems from everywhere else, and apply those to the systems you have.
And I think for a person with ADHD, who has a strange relationship with time, I think the idea of sustainability is intrinsically connected to the idea of time and duration to, in order to figure out whether or not something is sustainable, it has to persist for a certain amount of time. And I know I in perhaps you Katie, I have a hankering that you do. I always want to create the Perfect system on the first try and I probably never have.
I just have to, to change it, you know, over time which is frustrating. But I think it's important to just start a process and just see what how it works and how it doesn't work like you have to have somebody of data. So I also want to talk about like what what is a system that we're talking about? You're like what are we
referencing? I'll be referencing is going to ask you that are weary Fencing. Like I've I keep thinking of like your morning routine like my current system for my morning routine was one not a morning routine. I rarely get up in the actual morning. I do. I do on podcast days but on kitchen days. I generally don't, but I get up.
I know if I get up an hour before, I have to leave for the bus, that gives me enough time to wake up to shower, to brush my teeth in the shower, to get dressed to like, check my Tick. Tock check my patreon and make sure all those things are like, All right for the day and leave for the bus and it leaves me no
extra time. Like I have exactly enough time to do that and it's not sustainable in that if something happens then I'm a little screwed but I'm operating in an ADHD body that won't do something unless it's urgent and so I have to create that urgency for myself in order to get it done. So I think that's like that's an example of a system where I'm not sure if it's like the good kind of system or the kind of system that works but is perhaps
unhealthy. Like I would love to be the kind of person who wakes up five hours before I leave for work. And I have all this time to like do a bunch of stuff and clean and go shopping and and then go to work. But as of now, I have to wake up with exactly as much time as I need to leave like to do the stuff I need to do before I leave for work or else, I'll dilly-dally and end up screwed.
Yeah. I mean I do the same thing like a like it's like it's weird because like my morning routine has changed so much because instead of having to like drive to work I walk into my kitchen but like I thought like I mean at the Renaissance Festival people used to give me shit all the time because I live, right? Like we when we moved here, we moved. / close to the festival because like, that was the sure job that I had. And so like we moved here, like
so, we're so close. So it's less than a 10-minute drive to the festival, which is great. But that meant, Eric, what that meant was that if I had to be at work at 9:00, I wouldn't get out of bed until 8:45, right? I have my morning routine down to such a science that I can be. Make dressed out of bed and out of the house, in less than seven minutes in my car and at the festival by like 901 2903 depending on the traffic light, you know what I mean? And it was so like I do the same thing.
But then like I would fuck myself if like, oh shit, I forgot that I needed to run to the post office. So like gasps, I forgot I like, I would constantly be late to work because I forgot that I needed to get gas because it was such a short commute that I wouldn't even like occur to me that I needed to put gas. Gas in my car because I'm dumb. And then, you know, and so then I'd be like, oh no, I'm out of gas and I have to go to work and I'm going to be late.
And like thankfully, like it was a flexible enough job where like nobody cared, you know, it was just like you just went in and you did it work anyway because we were all staying until 8 p.m. at night anyway but yeah. I mean like so like that is always how I've approached things like morning systems.
Yes, the the peak maximum efficiency like I And I'm going to say this and I truly mean this with no judgment or know like pettiness, but but I have never understood people who take two hours to get ready in the morning like that as a concept fascinates me and baffles me. And I'm so interested in it because because like because like you know, what's the thinking? Like and like I like I love watching makeup tutorials on YouTube because makeup is something like I don't wear makeup.
Makeup like ever. And if I do, it's maybe lipstick and like, I half have some eyeliner, like I don't do makeup and so watching people spend two hours to put on makeup to go out in the world. What it takes me quantifiably, I have timed it on a stopwatch seven minutes. Like there is such a disconnect there but like that's a system that works for them. I like they feel good about themselves and they're going out in the world like feeling their best and looking their best and that's awesome.
And that makes me so happy. B. But then also like I look at it and I'm like this like at a I do not like I put on a shirt today, I win. Yay. Well so for one, I want to amend my system of getting ready for work real quick, the system that I described of getting up showering, checking take talking about it. That is the ideal version of the system and I have I know in my head when I'm waking up that if I wake up one hour before, I have to leave for the bus, I Can
do all those things. So that's the shower, the patreon. The Tick-Tock, the brushing of the teeth, all that. Then every morning I do this thing. I bargain for time. Katie, I bargained to stay in bed for a little longer. So I think, uh, hmm. If I don't shower, I could sleep for another 25 minutes. So then my 35-minute getting ready for bed, plan is wake up quickly, check Tick Tock, like, brush my teeth, maybe eat something real quick.
And then if Mike the one that happens most frequently is Like to 7 to 10 minute one. We're like, I wake up, I have I have what I call my oh shit alarm and that's the alarm that goes off where it's like, okay, Eric, like you Absol, there is no way or you absolutely need to get up right the fuck now. So, I like multiple alarms, basically, like if you get up now, you can do all the stuff and I go. Nope, and then another alarm goes off and goes, if you got up
now, you can do some stuff. Nope. And then the last one is like, Eric. Please get out of bed and I think a lot of it but but the thing is, as they all work and so far, they Have been sustainable and so I think I would like to not be, so to not be ashamed of that to just be like, hey, that's my system. It works like I show up with I show up to work like, with cold, in my eyes, and my eyes are all Brinkley still. And I always feel like a shame but it's like, hey, you know
what? I showed up to work and I did I the system works, I did it. Get at me dawg. My bargaining Fort. I love that you say that because it's still Martin's term, by the way. That's not my term. I built my time bargaining into my morning routine to the point where it very nearly ruined my marriage. This is a true story my gosh because I like for like first off like oh we need to do a whole another episode on on sleep and ADHD because like oh
yeah. Sometimes my entire like, I'm In one of those moments where, like, my entire body is filling with rage about all the things that I didn't know about ADHD growing up, like and I'm just angry about it. But one of the big things is how hard restful sleep is for people with ADHD and like, I cannot stress enough how I am always tired, like there is never been a day in my life, where I wake up and I'm like, good morning. Oh look.
A cartoon bird. I don't know what I'm like, when on an awake fully rested, I have no idea. I don't know, I've never had that. Like, I've literally never had that experience and it fascinates me. Like it's just fast anyway, but so I like waking up is so hard for me. Like it is, it is physically exhausting to wake up, which is a very weird experience if you've not experienced it.
But so I know that. And so what I like, if I had to be out of out of bed at 8:40 to get to work on time, I have an alarm set for 7, 40, + 8, + 8 10, N and 8:15, and 820, and 8:30, and like 9 times out of 10, I would sleep through the first three and finally, like, and we like finally, Chris had to look at me and be like, I need you to get out of bed, when your alarm goes off because your alarm, wakes me up, and I can't deal with it anymore because like my alarm would be going off
and I would just be sleeping through it. So he would be laying there, listening to fucking Tom Jones. Singing fucking we can work it out because that's a great fucking Banger to wake up to and and would just be like resentful because Chris gets up like Chris. Like he falls asleep, clock of midnight, The Stroke of Midnight, crystals asleep and he like good morning a little cartoon bird flies and fucking kisses him on the head at 7 a.m.
And that's how Chris gets me. Actually that's I'm the bird, but I need at least five or six alarms to be cognizant enough to realize that my alarm is going off. And so that time bargaining became part of my routine of like, I'm going to ignore bees nine. Alarms, until the last three when my, oh, shit alarm goes off. Which, by the way, is Jean-Luc Picard saying Red Alert all hands to Battle Stations because I'm cool. That's cool.
That's really cool place. So because of that, I had to rebuild my system like after Chris came to me and what it is a very valid request. Like hey, you're fucking alarms are ruining my life. I had to restructure. And so like, I have three alarms now, I've got, you know, like I've got like the nine, the nine fifteen in the 9:30, but then I like so then, but I had to retrain myself, like, you don't get five alarms anymore. You don't get seven alarms
anymore. Now, you only have three, we got three chances and like this morning, I slept through all three dead ass, like I woke up in a panic because my alarm didn't go off and I was like oh no my alarm didn't go off and I checked the time and it was like fucking 10:45 and I was like cool. Like yeah, so it's like I felt so cool. You go, you go. I felt, I felt so cool when you said that, you were going to call me at 9:00 my time so that we could be ready to record.
And like, I got up and put, like, I woke up before my alarm went off, which is a strange thing. Because then it's like, oh, gosh, do I go back to sleep? Or do I? Oh, I don't know. And then I texted you and I was like, I'm getting in the shower, I'll call you when I'm out. Like, I felt so cool. Like, I beat you to the, to the deadline, like, oh, I know you thought you were going to like wake me up when you called me, but like I was timezone. Time zones.
Genuinely really proud of you. Like I was thinking, so I was too. That's really awesome. Very like, good job. Like I've like, I was proud of your accomplishment and I feel like that's why we're friends. Yeah, I showered brush my teeth and ate breakfast today. It was a late breakfast. I definitely pushed it pretty far. I was like starving by the time I ate but I made eggs and eggs and sausage that you bought me on insta cart. Avocado was a good as an avocado
with some smoked paprika on top. By the way, if you're not, if you're not salting your Your avocado and perhaps seasoning it you're missing out tomatoes to it's the same up a nice piece.
Yeah. But I mean so but the thing about sex with the circling all the way back to what the fuck were actually talking about, one of the things that I think People tend to overlook like I'm always very cognizant of speaking for the group, but like one of the things that I think people don't realize is that so much of what we do as a system like systems, don't have to be these like heavily constructed
like well-thought-out things. It's as simple as like, do you keep a pen next to your phone, you know, or do you keep a piece of paper next to your nightstand? Like, that's a system that's a system for helping you remember, you know, when you come in the house, do you put your keys someplace specific? If o'clock that's a system, do you put your mail someplace specific like all of those things like our small little tiny systems.
They don't have to be fancy. They don't have, you don't have to, like, sit down and say, you know, like what, what, I'm going to walk myself through the process of getting my mail, but on the other hand, if you need to do that, that is totally okay. You know, yeah, and I think it's worth pointing out that Everything is a system, everything is a system, it's all art know, it's all just
entering, and it's all energy. But like, so, for example, if getting out of bed at the very last second, such that you can still get to work, but you get to work. That's a system that is a system, like it is. It's a thing that causes it to happen. Or like, you know, when I was a student, I would start essays like the day before they were due and it was miserable. I'd stay up all night writing essays. It was terrible, but it was a system awesome.
And so I not a sustainable system but it was it was not a sustainable system. And so I think it's worth thinking. Not in terms of, do I have a system or do I not have a system? You do. If you're a person who is alive, you have some system for like eating and drinking and drinking water and not dying. Like there you have system by nature of being alive. So, rather than thinking of it as like, I don't have a system for that.
I have to make one Try to figure out what your system already is, and we're go from there. So rather than creating one from scratch, you're just tweaking the ones that you already have. So for example, making breakfast, I usually don't eat breakfast until I'm so hungry that I'm like oh my gosh, I need to eat before I do anything else today or else I'm going to like pass out which is not ideal but then I can think. Okay? That usually ends up being
around, say 11:00. And so rather than pushing it so far. What if I just make it a little bit before that before? Like the absolute last seconds, that's way easier to me than thinking, I'll build a system from scratch, which involves me waking up at 8:30. And then like drinking coffee and doing 10 push-ups. Because I tend to try to make like this perfect Immaculate system when I start from scratch, and it's sort of intimidating. And then I have to get mad at
myself when I don't do that. And so I think, recognizing what your system actually is whether It's a sustainable one or not, just recognizing what that is and, and sort of trying to sculpt that into something that works rather than like thinking, you know, building some Castle in the Sky of what your ideal system would make. I put my hairbrush in the
shower. That was, that was like, like that changed my life because like, you know, I started doing like, Curly girl method and they're always like, don't brush her hair and less it's wet. And so that I would always forget to brush Here. Anyway, and then I was like, oh, but if I put my brush in the shower, then I'll be thinking about it, and then I'll do it. And like, that's that wasn't like a castle in the sky. That was just a.
What if I moved it? A foot and a half over from where I had been keeping it, but it dramatically improved, my quality of life, like it dramatically improves like my ability to care for myself and stuff like that small or like I used to keep my toothpaste in the drawer but now I don't anymore. I keep it next to the cup where I keep my toothbrush. No, because I would like, always be like, oh no, I can't find my toothpaste. And then I wouldn't brush my teeth.
But now I'm like, I'm just looking at it. Like it's that it can be that simple, you know. Oh yeah. I mean I keep my toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower. Which, which, by the way, a lot of people think it's, like, more efficient, because you're doing
two things at once. But you're really not, you're just brushing your teeth in the shower, like I guess if you had to like, let your conditioner sit for a little while and you did it while that was happening, I guess that would be more Vision. But the reason I do it is just to just Task. So, I don't forget, so it's like, I just get in the shower and then run sequence, and then get out of the shower and that now includes brushing my teeth.
So, it's little things, it's little tweaks to the things that you already do. And I think forgiving yourself for not being whatever you think perfect is. I think is essential towards becoming or developing healthier systems in more sustainable systems.
I think you're right. And I think the most important thing is that like I get questions all the time, and I'm sure you do too, but, like one of the questions I get, Asked all the time is. I keep my ex my ex my blank by whatever I keep that here and then it's always followed up by is that weird or like I do this thing? Oh yeah, that weird. I like my answer is always the same and I'm like, if it works for you that it's not weird. I'm like maybe it's weird but like I'm not like that's the
thing. It's like and I feel like there's such like this, this perception that our systems have to be perfect for everybody else. And We have to get ourselves into these systems where it's completely the opposite. It's like nobody gives a shit where you keep your toothbrush. Nobody gives a shit where you keep your hair brushed but if it works for you, maybe it is
weird. Maybe it's super weird that I keep my hair brush in the shower, but I don't care because it's a system that works for me and like, having the patience to like forgive myself. When I forget to brush my hair, having the patience to forgive myself for the years of like, neglecting self-care because I didn't have those. Seems like, I really think that is the first step in creating the sustainable systems, is letting go of all of the rest of it, letting go of the, is it weird?
Letting go of the water people. Going to think letting go of the shame and whatever. And just saying this works for me, and that's okay. Here here here. Here I'm picturing. My mom would always exercise while the microwave. And that's it. Thanks so much for listening. Stay tuned next week for our
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