Hi everybody. It's me. Katie sort well. Hello, it's me. Hey dude. Hey Eric, do you want to tell him the news? Yeah, we got nominated for world's best podcast intro, right? Yes, that what it was? This one right here. That's what we've been nominated. This one. I don't know if that's how the timing works on. That was, is it the TVA giving us this award? Hashtag lucky do. But actually, we've been nominated for best educational
podcast. I'm over at the People's Choice podcast Awards, which is pretty cool. And so, if you want to vote for us in a spectacular ADHD move, we found out that we had been nominated on the 26th of July and voting closes on the 31st. So do we think anything is going to come of this? No. Is this a very funny ADHD thing to happen? Yes indeed. So if you want to vote, you can
visit podcast. Words.com or or you can go to infinite Quest podcast.com we have a link there to vote as well and also our tour dates schedule. If you want to know where we're going to be going on tour and stuff in the coming months so yeah. And we're only nominated in the education category.
So if you want to try and find us, we're in the Seas, not the eyes were in the Seas for Katie and Erickson, vinick West in the education Tab. And while you're all looking at the website, if you wouldn't mind giving a and that's why we drink, our good friend, M Schultz's, Podcast a little nomination over in the comedy category. I'm sure they would appreciate it because and that's why we drink big big, big Friends of the infoquest podcast, we're just one big happy podcast family.
Absolutely. I was wondering how high your voice was gonna get right there. It's pretty good. I like it a lot because it's my, like, asking for Stuff voice because I always feel awkward in this episode, we talk about time blindness in ADHD, one of the more Insidious symptoms of my
mind. And at the very beginning, we talked a little bit about Simone biles withdrawing from the Olympics due to Mental Health. Concerns because she's a badass in its World warns talking about and she's a very public figure who has ADHD and is like, pretty sick about it. So we thought we thought we'd give her some love in this episode. Anyways, without further Ado, enjoy the rest of this year. Episode everybody, happy Thursday. Hello everybody.
Welcome back to infinite quests. I'm hey, Gordon. I would I'm Katie. Is Horace, is it backwards that time we did the opposite of what I thought were gonna do a delightful in media res opening. I didn't know. We're going to start with an official start. Did that feel official? It felt kind of additional felt really official. Normally we just bullshit around for like 15 minutes first It season 2. We gotta make it. We gotta make it legit, okay?
Today, I'm going to focus when we talking about time blindness that is often associated with ADHD. But first, we wanted to address, Simone biles has dropped out of the Olympics gymnastics team over mental health concerns. And I just thought we're a mental health podcast in Simone biles, publicly has ADHD and is very, I don't know, I guess proud. I don't know if the proud of their eye but she's not embarrassed. She's willing to talk about it and I'm like, yeah.
She's like publicly talked about it publicly talked about it. Yeah. So what do you think Katie? Do you have any thoughts? Yeah, you didn't start the Over. Oh shit. Okay, their timer plus one minute, you know, I made the mistake of reading a bunch of like, Reddit threads about it, this morning.
And I always forget that like, over on Tick-Tock, like, we have this great little insulated corner, where, like, you know, every so often like a troll wanders in and like, you know, we kicked them out of the dungeon and it's fine but like
wow. Now, people are being unkind in like a really profound way in a way that has been like, frankly really upsetting to me all day because I just realized like how much stigma and like misconception and just like vitriol, there is two people like Simone biles, who are like open about like I'm struggling with like mental health and like I have ADHD and like just like the absolute entitlement and like on. Kindness that people are showing
to this like woman who is just done extraordinary things. It's like I just makes me really bummed out, yeah. Also like a weird amount of racism. Like a weird amount of races really? Yeah. I've been staying off the Reddit. It's I don't, I don't recommend it. It's I like, I was like, I feel like I need to take a shower, kind of can imagine.
I also, I think I want to stay whenever talking about like a celebrity's Mental Health. I just want to point out that I want to respect her like Journey, you know. Should I don't think she did this to be the poster child like as a statement. I can't even imagine how hard at my God Frank. Well like the thing is is like
the reason a lot like there. A lot of gymnasts have been talking about it like on Reddit. And I were talking about the fact that like if you lose focus for a second it like the level that she's performing at like you could die. Yeah. Like it's not just like oh no like I fell down. I hurt my foot.
It's like you could fucking snap your neck and died and so it's like, yeah you're like you know, if you're saying like, oh, I'm having trouble focusing because of this, like, I meant amount of pressure but it's like, if you can't find the ground in the middle of like a quadruple, fucking backflip or whatever, like you could paralyze yourself or fucking die, and it's like oh that that's it. Makes it seem a little bit more serious than like oh you know she's crumbling Under Pressure,
whatever. Like unkind things. People say. Saying, she's like what she's concerned? Well, I don't want to speculate on specifically what her concerns are, but her physical safety, very much follows from it because of how it's like you said just how absolutely extraordinary and how high a level she's performing and it's just incredible and I mean I cannot Som like that. I always find when advocating for myself when why and I well I can generalize a little bit when
one is advocating for oneself. What the priorities are and what should be done. It is always up for review, like, how tired do I have to be to say Katie I need to take a nap, you know, because I can always deny that all I'm actually not tired enough, I'm not whatever enough. I could always flip it around in my head and I assume that I actually don't deserve it. I'm just being, you know, week or some bullshit. So I just can't imagine. I'm ultimately like I'm proud of her.
Yeah, for me being in like this. Hot the highest of stakes like you're in the network on the world stage representing America, you're like America's you perfect, child thing, or whatever, and to be able to say, like, actually, despite all that I have enough self-respect in self, whatever to advocate for myself, I mean that's like high altitude and self self advocacy right there. It takes an extraordinary amount
of Bravery I think. Yeah. Also. Hey Eric do you think for season 3, we can get chairs that, don't squeak. Maybe. Okay. Well now that we have it for today, we'll see I'll help build some out of teak. That's that's the kind of idea HCI. I'm like, why would we buy chairs? I'm just gonna, I could just spend three years in that of fine wood. Yes, indeed. Fine teak. Take a fine would see, is a very expensive would speak like an actual tree or is it? Like I was, it was like a type
of doesn't matter. I think it's an actual tree. I built a bench at a teak, a couple of years ago. Go. It's like, really, really naturally resistant to the elements and stuff. So, like, boats and stuff made out to take expensive wood treatment. I don't, but I don't know anything about. I think it's actually a type of wood, I believe. I'm Googling it right now. What is, what is Teak? He is a tropical hardwood tree species, look at that Tech Tona. Grandis I think.
It's friends. Just call it teak. Yeah. Tropical hardwood tree. I will, you know, it, will you learn something new every day? There you go. Also tectonic Rhonda's sounds like a cool. Cool. Deejay name. I'll sing. It sounds like a superhero who can control earthquakes, you know, Tech, Tommy Tutone a grand is, I feel like it.
That's a good superhero idea is pretty good school type of Tonia time to shake things up. We start spotting them and old photos from San Francisco. And her fucking lavis is like nerdy lab assistant, dr. Richter always, Wayne stuff, was Wayne stuff with scales. I'm hearing around the scales. Good idea. What are we supposed to talk about today? Anyways, Simone biles is, it is, is a badass right on good job. Not to my opinion. Means anything to you Simone biles, but then you are fine.
Don't miss an episode. But, you know, good job. Good job processor. Bring the stigma. But anyways, we wanted to talk about today is time blindness because my I feel like the last month or so of my life with all the moves. And all the thing is, though, all been very pivoted to has all as all rested on my ability to manage time and I'm shit at it. So I thought we talked about time lightness. Yeah, briefly, would you like to explain what time? But yeah, that's what it is.
It's when clocks are invisible to you. That's the way it is. Then that's the end of the episode is Casino. Exactly timeline is basically refers to a shittiness of it's the technique science. For Russell Berkeley right there as his words, the shittiness of rebuild use time but it's the inability to work with time sort of on a more intuitive level. So, we're aware that there's 60 minutes in an hour and 24 hours in a day.
But when we're not thinking about it, we're not actively looking at a clock or like counting in our head. It's hard for us to just conceived in a functional way of like 10 minutes or 1 hour. It's hard for us. To functionally use those concepts of duration. So it's basically a profound inability to conceive of in work with time and that can happen in many ways. With with ADHD it seems to be either one of two kinds, one short periods of time seemed very infect long.
Like a five-minute YouTube video. That seems like it takes for fucking ever because they're talking slowly. It's true or long periods of time consumed very short where it's like oh I just talked to my mom the other day. It's like oh wait a minute. That was like seven months ago. And they both have their distinct. Like shittiness has setbacks no Eric to start this episode. I have a fun activity for you, what's that? We gotta I forgot to set my
props ahead of time. Oh you got props walk across the office. Oh gosh obviously this is you don't need this for the first. Remember handing Me ukulele. I'm handing your evil. It doesn't matter and I'm doing that for a second. Oh he's giving you covering the stopwatch okay okay I want you Eric yes to tell me when 30 seconds has elapsed I'm just handing you the ukulele for no particular reason. Ready psycho?
All right. That's the mark the start, Mark, should I be talking while we're doing this? We would be weird if we just did like, 30 seconds of Silence. That would be pretty weird, but you're not allowed to look at your computer or anything. All right, but okay, that's cool. That's cool. So Katie what soap is like a visit ticker going over my head, what are some situations that you find short period of time feel very long. All the time, constantly all the time. Yeah.
Like all the time. I feel like. Well, it's weird because like, I don't know how to describe this, without sounding like a complete weirdo. Also has been 30 seconds. It's been 30 seconds. I'm calling it now. Okay. Are you sure about that? Yeah. What was it was? 48, second. Damn it. I was so, I was overcompensating shit. I thought it was gonna To be too short. So I let it go, whatever. Okay, that's it. I would just gave you the ukulele later distractions to hold me.
While I did that traction technique fucking exciting. Um, yeah, just throw unlocks. Okay, I don't know how to explain this in a way that makes sense, but I feel like all the time. I feel like all the time, Time is like, like, whizzing by, like like the speed of light, just like, whizzing by and so, like, I never have enough of it. And so, like, I don't know that the time, blindness thing, like,
I'm gonna be really honest. Because I know that I have like, time blindness in terms of, like, for example, if you tell me to take a nap and then I'm convinced it's been like 10 minutes and then I opened my eyes and spent like three. You know, that kind of thing but like I always feel like I'm just running out of time just perpetually and I don't know how else like qualify it since. Yeah it does. I mean in in a way I think how do I say this? It's it's sort of a double you know versus W.
Don't know, kind of thing. Yeah we're like if I have a certain amount of time to do a thing, let's say and I could accurately conceive of like four hours like in a winner, Functional way it. I might think of that time as being like Oh that's a really long period of time or really short period of time, but it's a known quantity and the fact that I'm aware that I have time blindness and the fact that I'm aware of the Fenton, you know, my inability to work with time
at a functional level and I'm on an intuitive level. It's, I'm, I don't trust my feeling about that amount of time. So I'm like, I don't know. Is that way too much time? Or is that too little time? And it like, compounds on itself. So it's not just like, The, if the initial stress or the initial weirdness comes from, you know, I have four hours and
that seems like no time at all. Even though it's plenty of time to like, do the dishes or something like that, the secondary weirdness in the secondary shitty feeling, I get from my timeline, this is my awareness that I'm probably wrong, whatever, I'm thinking, because I can't trust my own
understanding of time. So it's, it's almost like the fact that it's the fact that, the, the period of time that I have the period of time, that's left in the day or left's and Before the deadline, or something like that because I can't actually just hold it in space. And, like, go okay, four hours, that's plenty of time. I just get store, like, I have no idea. It's almost like somebody just going to bust in the room and say, like, hey that thing is do right now, like at any moment
and that's so weird. That's a weird thing to put up with, because it's made worse, by my, thinking about it. And thinking about stuff is like one of my favorite things to do. So that's a bit of a catch-22. It's weird because I like, I struggle with it more in, like, the, like, I don't even know what the right word to use like it's, you know, like yeah.
Sometimes I'll like, like, I have a hard time feeling the passage of time in like, a way that like makes sense, but like for me, the big thing is like long-term time like short short term time. Like I'm honestly pretty. Okay at because most of my jobs that I've ever had involves some sort of like high-performance multitasking. And so like at the Renaissance Festival, Shovel.
If I had four hours I could get 15 things done or I could get 30 things done and I would like figure out ways to like optimize my time because I was like, so busy that like I had to just be like, okay, like timeline is I don't have to, like, literal actual time for you today, but like now that I'm doing this, I'll spend three hours making 1/60, s Tick-Tock and just be like, where the fuck did my day go? Yeah and That is, that gets really frustrating.
Yeah. But it's always like like I oh I feel that the most was like emails because like I'll be like, oh yeah. Oh email that guy back tomorrow and then it's been like a week and a half and I'm like, fuck. I forgot to send that email because to me time goes so fast that like it was yesterday yesterday. But yesterday was actually a week and a half ago and it's so frustrating. Oh yeah, you think familiarity has anything to do with Ability to pursue to perceive time and
conceptualize time. Like if you're in a look so you had you got a job, your old job at the Renaissance Fair back like something you were adept at something very familiar with. Do you think your familiarity with that environment and those sets of things that you had to do? Do you think that alleviated your time blindness more? So than if you were to do something you've never done
before? Yes and no like I mean because I mean the the demands of that job or like banana pants weird but I do know that it takes You 17 minutes to get from like the front gate to like the very top of the hill. And so like I was able to sort of account for okay, if I need to get from like the front gate to like stage one, that's a five-minute walk, you know, stage 2 is like AIDS like and
and and that kind of thing. So like I can build that schedule out in terms of like, okay, I gotta paint the stage and hang up the flags and I don't know. Bring the hay for the horses were, like, whatever I'm doing that day. But I don't know if it necessarily has to do with like the environment. So much is just like my inherent stage manager. Earnest that comes when like I have the opportunity to like
really sit and plan. Yeah. Since totally I think for me something that I found myself doing I didn't plan on doing this but after over the over the years I've noticed that I do this is that I'll do sort of what you did. Like it takes me seven minutes to walk from here to there so while I was working in kitchens, I would measure time in task. I know how long it takes me to dice, you know, for onions or something like that. Yeah, like a minute, 20 seconds, something like that.
Not bragging, just saying, I have never wanted his glove for onions more in my entire life. But I'm aware of how much, how long does tasks take? And so, if I need to do something at, you know, x amount of time, my brain will fit in those tasks. I'll measure time in tasks
basically. And I would sort of do that intuitively and so I think associating periods of time you know conceiving of just a minute and 30 seconds in a vacuum is very difficult for me but but conceiving of the amount of time it would take me to do something that takes me a minute and 30 seconds is something that I can do.
So I tend to do that when I'm in a situation that I'm very familiar with whence asks I'm familiar with I tend to do that I'll like there's like a conversion rate of like, all right woman in 30 seconds equals No, I'm I was probably exaggerating when I sit for Oregon's. Let's say two dice, two onions. I mean, in 30 seconds equals the time. It takes to those two onions. Eight minutes is the time. It takes to start making a pizza to finish making a pizza, you know?
And so I would sort of translate time into corresponding tasks. Do you like multiply the increments like if chopping for onions? Takes like a minute 20 then. Do you go like okay. Well, that's like 16 onions. Hmm. Interesting, well, then, let's What thing about kitchen work is tasks are bookended by setup and breakdown rate. So like, if if dicing First off, dicing to onions from a clean station, a completely empty
surface. That means getting a cutting board taking out the correct knife, you know, owning the knife, putting your thing, getting the container to dice the onions, cleaning the onions, all that stuff, the actual dicing once knife, enters hand minute, 30 seconds, but then after that clean up, break down bring the thing to the to the dish pit. So, if it takes me, you know, absolute very, very start of the task grabbing The Cutting Board
to very very finished. It looked like For happened in the task is gun, will say, 10 minutes, dicing for onions wouldn't take 20 minutes, you know, double the amount of onions or it would take just that little period more. So anyways that's a very specific question but answer your question it doesn't quite stack. However it did want one of my old like cook mentors.
Chef mentors said, do all your knife work at once which is something that I try to extrapolate into my everyday life because it takes time to set up the cutting board and all the stuff and so if you set up the cutting board to do a thing, break it all down, and then turns out later, you had more knife work to do it. You have to then break out. So what do all your knife work at once when you're set up?
So I try to extrapolate that. Like, if I have phone calls to make, I'll make all my phone calls at once because it takes mental energy to shift gears into phone call mode. So, once I've done that and I'm in phone, call mode, might as well make all my phone calls. I aspire to do that. I don't always do that other of ever been Times when you feel that you really offended somebody because of your timeline looks simply constantly.
I trained really hard to like, not be late for things because my mom is serial o. Be late for everything, but like in a hilarious way where she's constantly shocked that like they didn't wait for her to start the movie, it's like the movie theater, you know what I mean? Like, that kind of thing. And so like I hate being late like I have like a physical anxiety response to being late because I just I fucking hate. I think it's so rude and so shitty. But sometimes I really, you
know, I feel bad. But the big thing for me is like correspondence and like, staying in touch with people because it's, like, what I was talking about earlier, like, oh, I'll send that text tomorrow or I'll shoot them, an email tomorrow. And then it's like, oh, fuck. It's been like three weeks or, like two months, or three months, or four months. And then it's like that weird feeling of like, hey, I wasn't trying to ignore you or ghost, you I just didn't have the
fucking mental energy. To send a text message and then you feel like an idiot. You know what I mean? I'm so, yeah. Like that. Like yeah, I think I've I think I'm offended a lot of people and it's usually people that like, I really care about which is like the shitty things is like if some like random, you know, business or something like yeah, sure. I should probably get back to them at some point but it's like the people that I care about those are the people that keep
consistently hurting. And so, like, I try really hard to be like good about it, but like, Oftentimes, I'm not and like I know that about myself and so I work really hard but like, I still know that that's a place. Where, like, I really struggle. Hmm. What do you say to those people usually lie.
I'm not gonna lie to you. Like I usually like I usually have like, I have like, a arsenal of like convoluted stories about like why couldn't possibly like send a text message or like, send an email or like get the thing done or like what? Her. And I feel bad but like, sometimes I feel like it's easier to be like, oh, sorry. There was a thunderstorm in my internet went out, which is plausible, as opposed to being like, I forgot you existed because that's hurtful.
Yeah, you know, but it like that's the reality in which I live is like I really deal with like emotional permanent stuff. And like if I'm not talking to a person like every single day it is very easy for me to just be like you don't exist until I'm reminded that you Exist. Usually, because like, the little notification, pop-up of like, oh shit, this is about in my thing for, you know, weeks. Yeah. I feel bad. So, I just, I just tell like a lull. I feel like a little white liar.
I don't advocate for it, but sometimes like a little white lie is less hurtful that like the truth, especially if like the person that you're talking to, you doesn't necessarily get neurodivergent. See, you know what I mean? And I was like, well, I don't know. I think that makes me a terrible person. I'm not sure I'm quite positive. Quite positive, I think time blindness and struggling with emotional.
Permanence is just a dynamic duo of fucking up, relationships with other people and it's like, and I turn really hard, like, I turned really hard to be like cognizant. Like one of the things that has started like really frustrated me and this is really dumb story, but it's a great example, is like my phone shows, like, 10 texts messages at a time and like For whatever reason is, much, as I've tried to, like block them and delete them and like, whatever.
I get a lot of, like, spam text messages now, which is a thing that I've never had to deal with before. And so, like, I'll check my messages and I'll see like, oh, spam, spam spam and so, like, close my phone, but what the I don't realize is, like, in the time between, because time, blindness in, what I think is like the hour since I've checked my phone, which is actually like the seven hours or eight hours,
I've gotten 10 of those. And the one text message that I need to see is like, just below the like view line. And so I constantly mix Miss text messages from people and then I don't respond for days because I just go, oh, it's all spam. And it's like, I need to be better about like setting a schedule being like, okay. Today I'm going to like your, you know, I'm going to check my
text messages it like this time. This time and this time, but it's just like, there's just something about like the wall of spam and and that that it's just makes me like really difficult and it's just silly and I The silly admitting that but like it's a really big problem as I just constantly Miss messages from people because they're buried under other shit.
Hmm. So before you said that you felt that when you were in the Georgia Renaissance Faire only write a job like that you were pretty good at working with time, all things considered. Yeah. You had your, you know, methods in place. Are there any periods of your life? Where you felt that your perception of time was particularly bad? And if so what do you think that was Why are you interviewing me every mode? I don't know. It. I can't I can't decide when it happens.
It's weird. I mean I'll answer it. But I thought it was gonna be like here hanging out. Maybe you should try asking me a fucking question. Uh, no, I'm good. I'm totally messing with you, please. I love asking questions. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm just really bad about asking questions if people don't know, but we don't bother at all. I'm I have a whole list of notes about Skip timing and stuff. So I'm taking charge blacking, I'm doing.
I'm doing time blocking. And this Episode and doing a new Venture into trying to Pace the podcast. Panic. Ironically it's the far. I feel like it's going fucking great Katie. That's good. I think it's going wonderfully. Cool. What was the question? Well there any periods in your life that you feel you were particularly bad about understanding the passing of time? Um, All the time.
I mean I feel like especially like in grad school, grad school, got really hard because like I wrapped all of my self-worth in my like self-esteem and my like whatever in just being like the best like the like I had to like get everything done and be like 20 fucking shit all the time and so that meant like there was a lot of like you know, late night just head down. Make the costume, look up. It's like the next morning like that kind of thing.
But also honestly like right now, like with with like Tick-Tock and like an everything that we're doing in the podcast and everything, like it's been really hard to like, notice how much time I'm spending. And so I started counting how many hours a week I'm putting into this and it's an upsetting number. So I stopped counting because I was like oh that doesn't feel good inside my brain. So we're just gonna ignore that. But yeah. Right now is tough. What about you?
Good job. I think I agree. I think this current gig this current job. What we're doing infinite Quest although the most satisfying and I feel the most important thing I've ever done it is by far the job that I have been the worst at At, like, I spent years and years learning to function in a kitchen, despite my ADHD and timeliness. And now it's sort of like I'm starting over again particularly because everything involving content creation is so nonlinear.
Yeah and so we're my time blindness. You know sometimes very often for me with my ADHD short periods of time feel very long like a five-minute YouTube video feels like it takes forever. If I just have to stand there and wait for like somebody's in the bathroom, that feel It's excruciating, but one of the times when very long periods of time feel very short and they have no idea that like three hours has passed its when it's when I am sussing through
something. I'd like to do in terms of content creation and then I arrived at one little part of it, you know, like let's say I'm making a new twitch overlay for Minecraft or something like that. I'll spend like four and a half hours just making the one. All green screen dude, running across the screen and it's because I feel like it's because since I'm being productive I'm like not going to be hard on myself or what I'm doing. It's like hey this is a productive thing to do.
I'm glad I'm doing this but it's not like efficiently productive. So while I'm like patting myself on the back for like, oh look at, I've been working like Reagan working hard right now. Look at that. While I'm doing that, I'm unaware. That like there was emails. Ice was supposed to respond to and there were we are all videos. I was supposed to make it rampant perfectionist when it comes to stuff.
Like you spend so much time like like that shaving milliseconds off your Tick-Tock sound like like just just editing the Pod and I'm just like, I just like, throw up my phone. Like, you know, it's like, sometimes I like refill more like reshoot or something, if it's like really bad. But like, there's a lot of stuff that like, I just don't worry about because like, I'm like, if because I know, if I start spending the time on it, that's it.
Like that's the rest of my day is just going to be like getting it. Absolutely. And so like I have to just be like, the phone is up. I have made a Content. Here I go. Well, I think part of it is specifically when it comes to like timing and videos. If I pause making a point in a tick tock or something, if I say a lot of people, they used you struggle with such and such and there's like a just a half
second. If I finish this last sound of the last syllable of a clip then listening back to it, I get bored in that period of time. I swear to God, like, in that pause, I'll be like, can I say, Oh wait, this is my Tick Tock, I can't swipe away from it. I'll get bored in that period of time and that's why I'm so attentive to how much time bookends Clips because I get bored in that period of time.
Or if I'm talking like on up on this podcast, sometimes I'll be making a plane and I'll pause to think of a word or something like that and then I'll start talking again and I'll think holy shit I just stopped talking for so long. I'm going to have to go in and find it and cut it out or maybe I should leave it in so people don't feel as embarrassed when they do it and then I listen back to it and it was Like an
imperceptible little hesitation. So it looks like it looks like a really harsh with time blindness or I'll assume the worst in Timeline that's when it's when it's about critiquing myself apparently. But with other people like you know, I'm so sorry. It took so long. It's like I don't know, I'm always forgiving about other people. Oh boy, look at that. You made it to the mill, the episode. You did such a good job. Could use a good job. I'm really proud of you. You should have some water.
Yeah, you should take your meds, not some meds. You should take your meds if you still need to take him today and also eat some food. Hey if you enjoy infinite Quest and our mission of advocacy and education and conversation with neurodivergent, see we have a patreon it's patreon.com slash infinite Quest and this year especially your support. Is what is allowing us to go from? Convention to host panels and conversations and workshops about inclusivity and neurodivergent.
See, so if you're interested, you can give it a check gold out. That was good. That was good. That was very angry and humor, thank you. It's good that stutter at the end. Anyways, in the rest of the episode, we talked a little bit about the strategies that we employ to deal with our time. Blindness, what works and doesn't work and it's and then at the very end, we actually disagree a little bit like right at the very end. Do we get in a little fight or Rito Thats?
Right, and I won. So, I didn't we I was one of those good fights where we learned. We weren't actually fighting at all. The real fight was the friendship that we made along the way. That's right. Katie transitioned. Ciao, I guess deal with your timeline. As you work hard to be on time to things. What does that look like to you? Leaving early. I don't know, it's weird because I get asked the same questions a lot. I've just he's leaving it in, do it leaving it in.
Now, everybody knows what I sound like when I sneeze, it's embarrassing. Um, but like I get asked the same questions a lot. And like, a lot of the questions that I get asked, have to do with things that are like, well, how do I be on time? Like whatever. And like the thing that I hate the most about that question is that my answer is like, you just do it.
You just be on time and that's like the easiest thing in the world to say, you know, and I like and so for really long time, I was like, I would get like a little, like, my bull to you. Sometimes you just got to take out the garbage speech. Yeah. But then I realized, I was like, I was doing myself a disservice and how it was answering that question.
Because what I realized is that, first off, I hate the word just so I was being an asshole to myself, but then also like it's not just being on time, it's the fact that like I have meticulously built my entire life around being on time to things so like I don't wear makeup.
I don't really do my hair like I don't put a lot of time or effort or thought into my clothes most of the time the caveat, you know, sometimes I do but like I keep all my shit in my purse like on and on and on and on and on and all of that is a system and all of that is in service to like if I'm going somewhere and I'm going to do my makeup, I'm I know. I'm gonna like fuck up the eyeliner.
Like one eye or something. So then that's extra time that I'm going to spend, and I'm going to start hyper fixating on my hair because my hair is not the way that I want it. And then I'm going to have to go choose an outfit and, you know, and just on and on and on and on and so like I keep a lot of stuff like really minimal because I don't want to have to like spend time on it and I value efficiency so much.
So, like last week when we did the podcast on the couch, I was Losing my mind about the inefficiency of like moving the microphone and then we're going to set up the microphones and then we're going to put the fucking pop filters on which the who built these pop filters and then we have to move all the cables around but then I also knew in the back of my mind. Like once we do that then we have to put everything back in
like I have time blindness. And so like Looking Back, Now moving the microphone the six feet from the table to the fucking desk. Was like 30 seconds of unscrew and then screw it back in. But in my timeline brain I was like this is gonna take hours. This is going to take so long. This is so deficient I'm so frustrated. I was like it's fine like it will be fine, be patient going to be whatever but it's just like it's that kind of stuff. It's where it's like I can't estimate how much time.
Something is going to take me because I my timeline is just makes me assume. It's going to take for indefinite forever. /. And that gets really frustrated, right? I think that's for me easily. One of the most frustrating parts of the timeline is I think the most is making my, you know, loved ones. Feel like I don't love them because I don't respond. That's my the words, but very closely after that.
Is that if I have a chore to do at home dishes, to do the box to move something about A future tasks. I just assume it's going to be the rest of my day. Yeah. If I have dishes to do and I know that means from now until the rest of the day, I'm going to be doing dishes that becomes my whole day.
Somebody always amazes me about my mom who does not have ADHD show like get a phone call from the bank and says like, Hey, we're a bank and something happened but we do you need to call this number but that if that happens to me, that's like a month-long task that's like at least a week of self-loathing about, At least, you know, I'm getting better about it, but at least a week then I forget about the phone number, but it's still
in the back of my head like, you know, the task itself, I forget. But the stress from not, doing the task remains. And I'm just so stressed out. Then I remember that I forget again, I remember. And then eventually I make the phone, call my mom, she'll get the phone call and she'll just go. Oh, and immediately make that phone call. It's read a number into the phone, and then hang up and it's resolved like before the commercial break is over. It's resolved.
I'm just how the fuck did you You do that and it reminds me of that thing of if I have a task to do this in the future, I assume it's going to take just the rest of the day. It makes me think of the concept of a Time Horizon, which is a very cool phrase but the time Horizon is basically how far ahead are you okay? Are we capable of planning for me? An hour. Maybe really like I can conceive of tonight and what I might want to do tonight but I have no idea.
Like I can picture myself sitting at my desk, at the end of today click-clacking around on my computer. Like I can picture that and I can imagine the things that I would do once that's the case. But I cannot go from right now. To that moment, I there's a whole like I can't conceive that far at most. I can usually do about an hour so you like I don't know if I had a podcast breakthrough or not. I'm deciding the like, so do you like plan because of that, or do you not plan?
Because I teach interests. Well, I think I would like to plan because of that. I would like my response to be to plan, but no, I think I and you have just gotten incredibly good at solving. Basically, well, that's becoming very good at pulling audibles, you know, if something changes tonight, I can, you know, shift my brain around me, like, okay
this is what we're doing now. So I guess my response to that is to be very have a lot of agility when it comes to conceiving of what the next hour of my life is going to look like the make sense. Yeah I guess so. I mean I think I just take the opposite strategy because like I think I mean a lot of it I'm just like I don't care what To have for dinner. So I don't plan ahead was like, figure it out but also like one of the questions I get a lot.
Well, I'm not a lot a lot but every so often I get is like planning a wedding with ADHD or something like that. And I was like my wedding got featured in like, Bridal magazines. Like my wedding was fucking sexy as fuck. It was a great wedding, but it's but like it was because I planned everything like everything. I DIY to every single detail of my wedding like down to handcraft.
Rafting the flowers out of paper like I did everything and so like I don't know like and so when people ask me that question I was like I mean I'm a professional stage manager with ADHD like I know how to like keep a schedule and like work backwards but like I don't know, like I don't want I don't think about time that way I don't think is what I'm like realizing. Hmm. You know what I mean? Well, I also think I'd like to
amend my previous answer. I very much go one way or the other very much go. I'm not going to make any plan at all because I know things are nebulous and things like change and I can honestly can't even really conceived that amount of time. Anyways, I do that quite frequently, but in other Realms I think I do stage manager, Katie where like you know, for example this podcast like alright I want to talk about this for a little while.
I've already neglected that but you know, I felt the need to start doing that and I have, you know, a bunch of documents on my computer of all you exactly how to schedule a Hey, you got a majestic imply exactly, which I find is very useful. But sometimes like either one chip schedules on my computer of
exactly how our days. I'd like to break down my current work day of like, okay, get into the office at 9:00 takes that content from 9 to 10, tasty research from 10 to 11, whatever, like that sort of thing. I almost never actually stick to that schedule. But clearly part of my brain craves having a schedule. I think the most productive times in my life. Have been when a schedule has been put on me, like, at boarding school or something like that or less.
So, in a kitchen because the schedule is input on you, but your deadlines are hard. So that sort of kicks you in to go mon or kicked me into government. I suppose. Do you have any strategies any little tips and tricks any little things you do that? Help you deal with time in a more effective way. Um, I pretty much consistently plan backwards. Hmm. That's like oh that's always been sort of my strategy is like if I need to be there at, I don't know. Seven will say p.m. to wherever
like. OK, at first, I'm going to look up the drive like that's, you know, okay. It's going to be 20 minutes or whatever. I grew up in the midwest where like, you always had to drive 20 minutes for everything. So, like, that's just like, what? I've been a costumed in my whole life, but then kind of like, talking about what I was talking
about earlier. Like, I, you know, it's like, okay, Okay, if it takes 20 minutes to get there, then, you know, I need half an hour to get dressed or like whatever. But like, I also consistent like I've done the same thing for a really long time, like, I very like, set patterns and like, how I do a lot of stuff. And so like, it takes me, seven minutes to get ready in the morning that is like that has been my number. Since I think I was like 17 years old, it takes me 7 minutes.
Start to finish waking up to be out of the house. I need seven minutes and so Like that's really helpful because I just like I just know that it's just information that I have in my brain and so I've got a lot of like set systems. I've got a lot of like little set strategies. Yeah, that's my answer. It's really bad. And no, it was like, she was like, I don't know, I think ahead, but like, it's like I feel like my stage manager
showing in this episode. Like, there's a lot of stuff that I struggle with, but like, by the very just necessity of like my job, I've gotten better at time management because like I had to be in order to like be an actor and then when it turned out that I actually, like, I was pure and managing time, when I was a stage manager, like I just can't control, you know, But yeah, I think very similarly, in kitchens.
Yeah, it was the satisfaction of somebody saying how long until this is, you know, until this is ready and you say, like 12 minutes and it's exactly. 12 minutes is one of the most satisfying things along times, that was constantly pursuing. So, I think, I think working in kitchens improve. My timeline is quite a bit. I also think I think working backwards is easily. The thing that I do that I think is the most effective in curbing.
Timeline is what it is, especially when it comes to being on time for things or making flights is, you know, if I need to be at work at, you know, ate half an hour drive now or at 7:30. But since you know, we work
backwards backwards backwards. And I make sure to follow all the way through that was that's really big for me is to follow all the way through until eventually I get all the way back to the initial action that needs to be taken like getting out of bed because if I have in my head I need to leave for work at 8:30 then. When the go time, the time of my reign is like, all right now, here we go. Is like 8:30, but that's what I have to leave in.
So I'll get it'll be a to be like 8:25 and I'm going to start like, throwing clothes on stuff like that. I try to go all the way back until to, like, get out of bed, like, get out of bed at 7:30. Yeah. Because then 7:30 becomes the number that I'm concerned with. I know, if I start, if I run sequence starting at 7:30,
Everything else will be on time. I used to really like riding public transport for that reason because I knew like alright I know if I am leave if I leave the front door at 8:00 everything else is set. That means I'll have enough time to walk to the bus stop. That means you know, once the bus gets there, I'm just on the bus. Get rid of that thing where you set your clock, you know, like
forward. So you look at your clock and you think you have less time, they are kind of a No-No because I fucking I know like I know Like, I like, I don't know what it is. That's been like a piece of advice of people giving me free. Oh yeah. I'm still your clock 10 minutes back. I don't like, but I'm gonna know that I did that. For me, it's always been a worse re because that I'm like, I just, I just know that that clock is, I have more time than that. Yeah, like I was like, oh great
cool. I've got 10 extra mint. Like no, like I would rather my clock be right. And then that way the expectation and the pressure is on me to be responsible and like Yeah, oh, yeah, absolutely. Again, it like that working back from like the thing that needs to happen showing up to work on time, working all the way backwards, All the Way backwards to the initial actionable item. Yeah, that has relieved so much fucking.
You know, Screw if setting your clock forward works for you, fucking great, go for it. But doing that has alleviated so much fucking stress in my life because then once I know, if I start getting ready for work at 7:30, you know, if I, if I get up from whatever I'm doing or get out of bed, Or whatever. If I start going at this time, then all the stress that comes
before that. I mean if it's 7:30, I'm likely just getting up but like if I have to leave later in the day all that time beforehand, that I would normally spend like, oh God, I have to start waiting getting ready for work of guys. What of ablated? But did it that all goes away? Because I know if I start getting ready at this time then I'm good. And so all that time before that time that you set suddenly is like free, it's not just time.
You're spending worrying about being late and that is cool. That is that's the satisfaction of that alone is like worth it for not just being, you know, going to work on time. But the fact that I don't have to spend the entire time before going to work, freaking out about being late is that's that's a big one for me. Lots, lots more video games have been played, because I can actually relax and sit before work rather than just stressing out about it. Do you ever use timers on stuff? Yes.
And no, I used to be better about time. Whirs. But there's it's weird because I feel like I self sabotage myself in terms of like effective time reuse which is like weird but like the problem is that like ultimately I am Responsible for my own actions, I guess is like maybe what I'm trying to say. And so like for me if I set a timer for like 15 minutes, I know that I'm the person who set the timer nothing happens. Then 15 minutes, you know.
So like I use it I use timers a lot in terms of like seeing how much I can get done in like a Time Break. Like if I'm like really like stress about cleaning or whatever. I'll be like cool. I'll just send an alarm for like, you know, 10 minutes or like 15 minutes or whatever. And I'll just clean for that like, little period of time. And a lot of times what will happen is like that will give me the motivation.
Into like just keep going past that 10 minutes but, but it doesn't work beyond the other way. It doesn't like, okay, you have to stop in 10 minutes that has never worked for me. It only works in terms of like giving myself the option to continue afterwards.
Hmm, But like stopping, it's like well I said the timer, I can just give myself another 10 and another 10 forever, which is why I like alarm clocks are really hard for me because I just will snooze until Infinity, but yeah, like, How much can you get done? And then you have the opportunity to expand is like, really useful the other way, doesn't work. Yeah, I just have the same thing four times in a row. So when you do the other way,
doesn't work. That's like, I have to finish this in 10 minutes, 10 minutes, right? I'm gonna be like it has to be done or, or what? It was me, I did. What are you gonna do you like fucking take away your candy? Like you know? I mean it's like I mean the only time that I really like find it is to be useful is like okay I really Li like I know that I'm going like hyper focus on this. And so then I'll set a timer not necessarily as IQ have to be done by 1:00 in the morning.
But as a like, hey, it's 1:00 in the morning, just so, you know, it's more of a just so, you know, moment and then sometimes I give me like, the cognizance of being like, you really don't need to finish this tonight because at a certain point like them, Like the sunk cost fallacy of like if I build this costume until 7:00 in the morning, inevitably I will set a sleeve and backwards and I'm just going to cause more work for myself later. But that's it.
That's the thing that I am really guilty of is like I rush through things and I like, I like, I will make like, really stupid mistakes. Like the, the more tired I get, because I have time Linus. And I don't realize, like, how much time has passed it. So I'm just like, exhausting myself as I'm like, doing whatever it is that I'm doing. What do you think? You feel so compelled?
Till is it like you want to finish it in that session or yeah, like a lot of times like I also do the cool thing where it's like, oh DragonCon is tomorrow. I should build for cosplays. Like I always seem to take on big projects like way after the timeframe of it being a reasonable project to take on happens and the like I don't know if it's like a dopamine thing. I don't know if it's like a hyper fixation thing but like that's something that I really struggle with.
If is like this, seems like a good idea to do right now. You have three hours until the costume party but I will build a full tutor gown and then, you know, and then I get like frustrated because I'm like making mistakes and it's like, well, you didn't need to do this. You have 400 perfectly serviceable costumes. You didn't need to make something new, but the dopamine
says yes. Well, it's missing register do for me. I think, very often times, my time, lawyers will work in one of two ways where I assume a task that's really not Going to take a very long time, while in fact and take the rest of the day, like doing the dishes, sometimes, I'll take of a task that is going to take a very long time, but all Sumit takes way less time and I find that which one of those I do given a task is a pretty good gauge of whether or not I want to do the task.
Because if it's something that I want to do, then I'm gonna take my ten minutes. I can get it done, we have something. I don't want to do them. My brain is like, oh, it's gonna be like 10 hours in length. Oh, gosh. And sort of to combat that the the, the ladder one, the one where I don't want to. Do a nice so I assume it's going to take all day. The timer staying has is easily the most effective idiots D strategy that I've ever installed in my life.
Because I mean II know I've got on this rant a million times before but I'm going to do it again just in case you dear listener hearing it for the first time do it. When you set a timer do something, if you have to do the dishes, you have to clean your room, you have to unpack boxes, whatever it is think of the smallest amount of time that you are positive that you can white-knuckle doing it.
No matter how little I want to do the dishes, could I do the dishes for one minute right now is one minute of dishes. One just could I do that? Can I just wipe backlit through that? Sure. So do that, do the one minute thing and that will get you over the initial. Hump the activation energy required to do a task is the hardest to install.
It's harder to get yourself moving, and it's to keep yourself moving people with ADHD often struggle with task engagements, you know, starting a task, and task re-engagement. You know, if you digress from a task while you're doing it, How likely are you to remember? Again, that that's what you're doing and to go back. So the timer method is really
helpful in combating. Your brains false narrative that doing the dishes is going to take 10 hours, break it down into really small time increments that your brain can work with. And that, you know, you can force yourself to do, regardless of motivation then that'll help you get past that initial push of getting started. And then after that, Minute is up. You have one you've succeeded in what you tried to do? You tried to do the dishes for one minute?
And you did you have succeeded? You haven't failed at doing the dishes, which you might think you would done if you had done one dish and then stopped without the timer. But since your goal was to do the dishes for one minute, you've succeeded in doing that. And that dopamine head is like, ooh, I wouldn't do another minute. Like haha like and then you get the dopamine it from the second minute. Then you're like I'm going to do another four minutes. Just constantly setting these
little dopamine pit stops. Using time as little rewards things, like every minute that you spend doing, this thing is another win and they're in your pocket, like gamify it. Where it's like, how many dishes can I wash it a minute? Oh, yeah, totally because that's, that's the problem is I always do that and then I fucking wind up, like, throwing a cup of cross the room and breaking it and then I get more mad at myself. Like I literally, I can't handle that kind of pressure. Oh yeah.
I like this. I like this. I do, this doesn't work as often as I would have liked, but it's still fun when it does work. I'll guess how long it's going to take me to do a task? Like, if I were to just do Uh dishes. How long would it? Take me 15 minutes then I'll subtract like 20% from that. Make it 12 minutes and see if I can do it then. And then it's like Dan and I race to the Finish. But again, I know that I set that period of time, you know.
So like I could have like, said 20 minutes and then minute 15 but, you know, honor System, whatever.
I feel like a lot of times I'm just I'm just far too like Spock brain to like have stuff like that work and it really frustrating because like I feel like There's a lot of places in my life, where, like, gamification or something would like, really, really work, but like, I know, I know that like, I'm the person who set the timer, I know that I'm the one who, like, me to feel like rules for, like, whatever. The stupid thing is that, I'm trying to do.
And so then I like, have this like weird sort of like outside perspective from I'll like on myself where I'm like, really? This is, this is what we're going to do and then I'm like, judging myself for like wanting to play the game in order. Order to like, do the task. It's like, it's like I don't like, it's like how I can't do workout videos in my own home because what if somebody walks by the house, it's like a real
thing. I litter, I cannot I cannot deal with with the embarrassment of doing like at home like workout videos, it's like a Ritz. Is she it's a we have to do at-home workout video. It's it's a Ritz like I can't do it. It's like I get so stressed out because I'm like Definitely watching myself like look like an idiot and like I like I get so weirded out like it's a whole weird thing that I have just got to embrace it. That's what it is. Just embraced.
The fact that you look ridiculous, try to look as ridiculous as you possibly can. I just lean into it? Literally never do well. So here's the thing, here's the thing, I think I might I might be able to hijack your gifted and talented kid rain for several. Okay, but now that I've told you, I know not going to be able to tell me how you're going to do as you want me to be right. Also think of it this way, okay? If you have a task and you break it down into five minute blocks, right?
You do five minutes, you do another 5 minutes, you do another 5 minutes. Yes. At some point, during that task, you're going to start to wonder, how many more five minute increments? Is it going to take me to finish this task? So you'll start the timer again and you're just thinking I bet
this is the last one. And then if it is or if you say I bet this is going to take two more five minute increments and then it is you get to be right and that feels good you're like wow I accurately predicted how long much longer I was gonna be doing this task you know try to get it done. You get to be right. Don't know, that doesn't make any sense. We've got to get to people like think about like how many 10 minute blocks? Is it gonna take me to do a thing?
Like hey, let's say, let's say Clean this office, please office. It would take, I could do it, 20 minutes, 20 minutes. Yeah. Okay, Tina. We're going to do after we've stopped recording. I'm sure it's going to be clean the office that will. Now we have to because you said it's going to be four minutes. So you don't, you want to know if you're right though, is it party want to know if you were right? No, because I'm just disappointed in myself. That the office is dirty enough
to have to clean again. So it's ha ha lawyered not lawyers. What do you think? That's a problem is like I I'm always judging myself from the outside at the same time. Do you find that to be useful? No, not at all. I didn't say it was. I'm just saying I'm aware of it. I didn't say it's a strategy, I'm not recommending it, but I know buddy. I'm just saying that. That's the reality in which I live. I'm constantly like, wow, that's what we're going with today. I was born, that's what that's
what we got. Hmm, I'm sorry. Call myself a sporting. It's cool. It's kind of like you're like a football team or something. Yeah. It's because I'm like, always was more. Get out. Yeah, cuz I'm My Own. I'm a coach. So I'm always like yelling at my coaches in charge, you know? The coach is the fuck if the coach is, if let's do this. Alright, I'm going to go to football now. This is not going to work because any watch football.
But, you know, if the coaches defensive line is not very good. Yes. Any time they spent, they should practice on the back, nine with their golf carts. That was see what made it bought a funny. It was funny because the wrongs, but it's wrong for Katie as funny as funny as funny. Thank you.
But anytime the coach spends embarrassed about the defensive line sucking and is a waste of time, they I'd just be like acknowledge that the thing being objective but acknowledged that the defensive line sucks and then work on improving it rate but the defensive line needs the shame and guilt of embarrassment in order to get better. Not Shane, Katie no, shame is ashamed. Can be an excuse to not learn the lessons of guilt. What's whole rant about that?
Okay, well, we have to be done. I, we don't have time for this right now. Shame episode. We're gonna do a shame. Do we already do a shame episode know, we were gonna, we ended up doing some. We don't have doing something else. All right. Yeah, we could do shame episode. He said, shame episode, who she said she was a shame episode of Young Werther. Same episode. Yeah, we should do it. Awesome. Episode alleles, fish medicine. Katie! You got one minute, closing thoughts on timeline disco.
You can't look at the timer time. Is really difficult because it, it affects a lot of things. It affects like how you live your life, it affects your interpersonal relationships. It affects the way that you navigate through the world and so the best piece of advice that I have is to find efficient systems that work for you. Maybe don't judge yourself as harshly as I do.
That's not I don't give good advice to myself and I don't take my own advice but yeah that's what that's what I would say is like, work on finding The systems that allow you to forgive yourself and be compassionate to yourself and be patient with yourself because it can take a lot of time. Ha ha to learn how to be patient with yourself. And it's something that I work on, I'm still working up nice.
You even use the word time, I didn't know, like we should have a little sound effect or something being. I'm not gonna answer itself picture, can it be the clock lady from Loki? Oh yeah. Hey y'all. Hey y'all, Tara Strong in here? Something like that. What about you? What's your one minute, why? One minute. I would say one timeline is matched with emotional impermanence and struggling with object.
Permanence can be a really Insidious thing and so I think try to think of your own dealing with time as functionally and objectively as possible. It's really easy to feel shame about being late or feel shame about not responding to an email or, you know, your mom texted you three days ago about you know, do you Want me to keep this painting and you forgot to because you know, you assumed, she just texted you in the three
days ago. You know, acknowledge the reality, the situation try not to get mad at yourself for it because nobody's being helped by that. You don't get to decide how you feel you know. So if you do get mad about it, don't get mad about getting that it's okay that you but try to think of it as functionally and develop, try to observe in with that objective observation. Observation try to find the specific things that you struggle with and develop systems to remedy that for me.
I struggle with starting to do something and that will cause me to put it off and put it off and put it off and then not realize that I've been putting it off. For a very long time. So the tire method of setting up a 5-minute interval in, which I start that helps me out a lot setting. My clocks forward does not help me out, but the opposite might be true for that for you, okay? So, find the systems that work for you to acknowledge your faults objectively.
Try not to get too down on yourself. Use those timers, baby. Use those timers, honestly. I think one of the, one of the most important things to remember is like, what works for you might not work for somebody else and that is so, Profoundly okay. Yeah, absolutely. Like, I can't do setting, my clock ahead, it just doesn't work for me, but like the option to expand past 10 minutes. If I'm feeling it, like, it's
great. Like it, it really works in my brain, but like you don't again, I'm not taking my own advice, but like, you don't have to judge yourself. You don't have to worry about, you know, looking silly. And it's something that I work on all the time because I recognize how often I do that. And how like much literal actual time I waste worrying about that kind of stuff. No yeah I mean interactive get discouraged if certain systems
don't work out for you. I mean the amount of listicles I've read about ADHD and timeline as you know one of them was get an analog clock. So that way you know as a minute hand reaches the our Like You It's A visual representation of it. You can see it getting smaller. One of them was like set an alarm on your phone for every hour of the day like and I've I've done all those things.
It's uh A point in my life is none of them really worked for me. But eventually I started to find systems and I'm still fighting systems that work for me. Somebody on my twitch stream says, something really smart today. They said the cool thing about failure and is that like when systems fail or like, you know, you fail at being good at something. It still teaches you something and I like, I know I've talked
about that before. But like I think especially in conversations with things like listicles, it makes a lot of sense because like If you if that system fails for you, then you know, that doesn't work. But like, is there something you can take from it? Is there something you can adapt? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Herrick remember the time that we did an episode about time blindness? And it went long, then we went off. It's okay. We're going on, the timeline is
episode. I also would say I wanted to touch on this a little bit, but I guess I forgot but identify the people in your life that you feel you can talk to about it. So like if you have, you know, a spouse or roommate or whatever, You feel that? They're a person.
You can talk to it. It's good to acknowledge like hey just so you know it's not personal when I you know and late to a thing it's not personal like I'm sorry I'm doing my best but just letting them know some people, it might not be the best, you know, use your judgment on who to do that with, you know, some random co-worker but, but for a lot of people, it would be useful to just, at least bring it up and and say like, is there anything, you know, that's particularly
important for you. That I remember, you know, like, do you get particularly offended of how you take too long to? Respond to a text message or something. I have to be one. I'm so mad that you said this, the very end of the episode. Hmm, I think this might be the first time that I actually viscerally disagree with you. Oh, really? Yeah, what do you got? You have to be responsible for yourself. Oh yeah. You know what I mean? Like, oh yeah. Like I think you can.
If you can explain it, you can say like, hey, I just want you to know that like, time, blindness is something that I really struggle with the like, also, you cannot use it as an excuse to be late every single. You know what I mean? Because like at some point the impact of your actions, even if you mean the best in the whole world, like, it doesn't, it's not going to save your job. When you've shown up for your fifth late shift in a row, you know what I mean?
I fully agree with. I'm like, yeah, I just, like, I'm always very cautious when we advise people to explain because I feel like there's a very fine line between like an explanation and an excuse. If not treaded, that's not the right word, but like if not dealt with very carefully and with, like, a lot of compassion and a lot of nuance. And so I think there has to be like a lot of trust and a lot of
like, communication. Even if the conversation is very difficult for you to hear, you know, like I think that's like, I think that's just important to acknowledge. I'm not sexually wrong. I'm just saying, like, you also have to be accountable with like Context of that explanation. Does that make sense? Yeah, no, absolutely, I
completely agree with that. I think that's really how I said I'd be having Italy disagree with you and then I immediately back down because I didn't want her, you didn't back down. What did you what did you back that? I guess like I'm just like okay I'm sorry, you know what are you worried about uncomfortable? I got super comfortable like like she liked but it like butting heads so I'm just like I'm just gonna soften this as much as possible.
Well okay, well my delicate sensibilities are remained unscathed. You very much. But II know, I completely agree. I think that's why I was so adamant about like, deciding who you do that with, you is doing with your boss saying, you just have to be okay with me being late. No, they don't. They don't you need to be on time to your job. Yeah. But if it's like you, for example, if I say to you, like, hey, you know, like if you send me a text message in the morning and I don't respond to till
date. That's not personal. I'm not like, it'll fuck you Katie. Like, you know, that's the person. I'm sorry. And, and just trying to get on the same page because I like, I had a friend a couple years ago. Well, I mean is she still But she said it had, we were having this conversation and she said yeah when you when I send you something and it takes you like hours to respond, she's like she said, I know it's not personal but part of me like doesn't
know, you know? Like it's just I still feel offended even though I know that it's not personal. Yeah, and so she was very vulnerable and very proud of her doing. She said like it would really mean a lot to you. If you made more of an effort to respond within a certain amount of time, she's like, I understand that that's hard for you, like, but she made. That need clear and I was like, fuck. Yes. Like you know it was still hard for me because I've done Blackness but she made her needs
her needs. Clear. Yeah, and then you took accountability in terms of like doing better. Exactly. That's a really good example. Yeah, absolutely. I never want to be, I do get really nervous when asking people to like that, you know, perhaps advising somebody should talk about their time blindness or their whatever symptom ADHD symptom here. Because those it's all, that's all for information. That's not to excuse Behavior.
It's a to excuse Behavior, you're still responsible for your actions but it might clarify to the other person exactly what you're going through and perhaps they can support you or whatever, you know. Yeah, that's a good way to put that. Yeah. Anyways, thank you so much for being here, everybody. Stay tuned for a really cool and very well done. Outro sequence with this song that we definitely spent a lot of time writing, that's right. We made it to the end. Good job.
You did it. That's it. That's it for all of us here and put a quest this week. Just a reminder that the last episode of ADHD captive. Audience are live, special ad. Play on Khan will be released this coming Tuesday, so stay tuned for that. And also, stay tuned for other things that I have forgotten. What I was supposed to say is it was just patrons on patreon. Eric, I have my new ukulele. Lee and you have my blue ukulele for both blue but here we go. Ready?
This is the first two uke to you guys. Yeah and we got ready? Ready musician. Thanks to David and Amanda Leon and also our new friend Violet which he eschewed Persephone let's hit the Violet, when she and my father. Leon to forget about Amanda came to my mind, everybody. From all of us at infinite cost. You were supposed to keep like, let's hear it for us this week. Thank you so much for being here. We couldn't do it without Out your support and we are so grateful for each and every one
of you. So until next week, drink some water, eat a snack, take your meds be kind to yourself, be kind to others and remember that we love you. That was a pretty awesome.