Charlotte is that is the thing that takes me out of the believability and world than I've already lost the plot. Oh God, I'm like look, I can accept I can accept everything I've seen so far, but I can't take the fact that his mouth isn't really moving get he's speaking The King's English with a Southern accent. Like I yeah that know. Hello everyone and welcome to Castle Bravo a Godzilla versus
retrospective. I'm Derek and I'm Charlotte and we're two siblings here to examine the history of the Godzilla franchise one movie at a time. We're joined today by icgc Creator and fellow host John fibs, John. What's up, bud? Yeah, I'm here to talk about this movie. I saw. so When when we were planning guests, I very specifically chose today's movie for you. I didn't let you choose I chose it for you.
It's a story of my entire life because you you do not have much in the way of history with Godzilla, right? Correct? Yeah. No, that's and a very accurate statement. Yeah you I think before now you had seen I think at least First legendary movie, right? Yes, whatnot. So, I actually, so, on your recommendation, I watched like, the first Godzilla movie, you did want the original, your
original Godzilla movie. And I saw the one that came out in, like, in 2000, but I haven't seen anything since. Yeah. Yeah, well. So, you've seen a masterpiece and an American movie, whose I'm trying to withhold my opinions on, until I can revisit them. But yeah, then then we showed you today's movie, and we'll get to why that's funny. And your whores are watching Another Godzilla movie. Well, of course, I've also seen the Masterpiece that is Roland emmerich's, Godzilla movie.
Yes, that came out in what 1999 or something. Yeah, yeah. So, you've seen before, now you seen three Godzilla movies? All the ones that are just called Godzilla? Yeah, and also like when you say I've seen three Godzilla movies, I feel like you need a citation, right? Right. So I've seen a real Godzilla movie and to Godzilla movies that are okay. Yeah. They're movies. Yeah. Yeah. Because the originals a fucking Masterpiece, but I'll know. I actually really enjoyed the
region. Yeah, for what it's worth. We picked you for a bad one today, but I did pick a very good one for you. Down the road as well, to make up for what? I've put you through today. Yeah, you need. Yeah, you owe me that Charlotte. Hi, how are you doing? I'm doing good, just good it's always this good. I think that's better than that. Use exaggerated language very often like I would never describe myself as being like great or awesome.
Like I'm good I'm fucking killing it for white rules right now like I got some some games for like 30 bucks that would have cost $900 if I bought them in English. Oh yeah. I've been I've been following Along on Twitter with some of your recent treasure. Vines and it's incredibly Charlotte core. Okay, so so far on Castle Bravo, we have talked about a lot of Godzilla movies, a lot of non Godzilla movies, I think most
relevant to today season two. We came in kind of worried about what would happen when we moved away from issue. Honda directing Godzilla movies, we were surprised to find out we quite liked the Jun fukuyama era of Godzilla that we have seen so far that was a Birra horror of the deep and Son of Godzilla. And then the Sherrill Honda came back and directed Destroy All Monsters in 1968 which was incredible. It's the last episode that we did, we had a blast.
Now, it is the year 1969. Nice nice, Andy Sherrell. Honda is back. Only a year after they intended to end the Godzilla franchise with a new movie called all monsters attack. Also known as Godzilla's Revenge. This movie clocking in at only an hour. And 10 minutes is effectively an anti-bullying children's special that uses a ton of stock
footage. Specifically from the bureau horror of the deep Son of Godzilla and Destroy All Monsters. It is not entirely stock footage, but a lot of it is stock footage.
This, this movie has kind of a An Infamous reputation among Godzilla fans and I think it's somewhat earned we'll get into that as we, you know, move along but this was a bad time for me and John so we watched the me and John together watched the original American version, Godzilla's Revenge and Charlotte watched the Japanese version and then I went back and re-watch. It in Japanese and then Charlotte checked out some clips of the English version so that we could be very familiar.
So I think a lot of Godzilla fans will have seen Godzilla's Revenge on VHS. It was very common in like video stores through the 80s and 90s. So it's one that I think assaulted me. Yes, I think a ton of people have probably seen the American version of this movie specifically. And while I did want to Inflict that psychic damage on John. Yeah.
I also wanted to be able to speak to maybe the original intention of this movie, but I've rambled on long enough Charlotte. Why don't you tell us what happens in all monsters attack. All right, so more than you would think happens in this movie for something. It's just over an hour and contains a lot of stock footage, but I would say it's pretty like, It's pretty standard like Honda as far as like the story beats.
Go Joe. Like you start and know I don't know what the fuck you're saying. What do you mean? You don't know what I'm saying? I don't I don't I don't know that. I would call these standard. Honda's story beats. I would well let's let's let's get get along and we can we can litigate this as we go clean myself to you by the end.
So the movie begins and they are singing this funny little children song right with like different pass shots of the monsters because again, there's a lot of stock footage in this movie and some kids are walking home from school 200, can we speak? We're talking about the intro, do it in the original version. Of course. It's a very like children's Japanese like kindergarten kind of song. You know, very like Pepe morning
radio kind of shit. And in American in, the American release that has been removed and replaced with what can only be called pre 70s Cosmic Funk. Oh yeah, that's present old problem. It's like yeah. No. Yeah. It's like, wow. I love watching. Only two monsters. Fight to each other to Parliament Funkadelic. Like it's yeah. It's really groovy is like as infamously kind of awful. Like I love it, but it is kind of awful.
The American opening, is it kind of closer fits to the musical tone of the movie, which is very Funkadelic in a lot of places. But yeah. Yeah, yeah. So they're walking home and Ichiro which is like the main boy. Here's this car like backfired. He's like ah that sounds just like me Nero. I guess, but then the song like comes around to its point and like one of the lines in the in the Japanese version of the song is like megatons, smoke and exhaustion.
Those are the real monsters. It's like a, it's like a kid's song about environmentalism so, you know, it's not terrible paired up along all these like shots of like factories and trains and things like that, right? There's one thing I know children love, it's environmentalism. Honda was doing. His best. Yeah, so they pass by a train
track like this paint. This train goes by and each Rose dad is at the front of the train and he tells him to take care of his mom because he has to stay at work tonight. He's not going to make it home and then Ichiro, picks up this vacuum tube off the ground, takes it with him because it looks cool. And the the father sits down with one of his co-workers and he's like I'm really worried that my son is too shy and he's also a latchkey kid. So I just worry about them in general.
And they're reading the paper and the paper has something about two thieves that have made off with 50 million yen. And so as they keep going, Ichiro, tries to convince sachiko, to go play in an abandoned building, but then they're like headed off by some bullies and the bullies basically convinced him to hand over the vacuum tube. And they're like, if you want this back you have to go startled. The man on a ladder over there by honking his motorcycle home. The cowboy that is painting a
sign. A cowboy PC. Chris, I apparently has a motorcycle. I bet that dude is fucking wild to see going through the city. A cowboy on a motorcycle in Tokyo? Hell yeah, just another day at the office for me, each row does. All right thing, he refuses and then some police drive by and then it on the radio, it's talking about how it is actually two Thieves for sure. It's two people. That I made off at the 50
million yen. So Each our goes inside and grabs the grabs his key from this toy consultant named Minami. Who's working on a computer, the kitty computer and he hits a button on the computer and it shows a video of Apollo 11 on the moon and each row is like, I don't really care about that. I want, I would rather be on Monster Island then on the moon want to talk about how weird it was, this this moment specifically because, of course, I saw this movie probably in the mid late 90s.
And computers were a rarity in people's houses in, you know, like, 96 97, but not completely unheard of, I had computers in my house that early and it was weird to see this retro idea of a computer, but it wasn't completely impossible to think of, but this movie was made in 1969. And right. I think their ideas on audio video Fidelity on home computers were maybe a little generous. Yeah. Yeah also toymaker dude is creepy as fuck. Okay. I-i've got a question about this guy.
Was he or was he not the kids uncle or was he just a creepy doll maker? I think he's just like a neighbor just like that. The kid gets along with. Well here's the thing. Parents leave a house key with him. So like he has to know the the parents some and there's clearly an arrangement where he kind of keeps an eye on the kid. You know, when the when the parents are working late and kind of keeps keeps track of
them, some I feel about that. But yeah it's he's just the weird neighbor dude who makes toys alone in his apartment and in retrospect that's a lot of red flags. It is I mean okay, but you also gotta think about how like In like in the more rural areas of Japan like even nowadays, they would like leave those those food stands unattended and they have like, little notes that are, like, just leave the money at. There's a lot of interpersonal
trust as like. Yeah, culturally that very different from, you know, the late 60s in the United States. So, yeah, but like yeah, I comes off as like being really kind of weird to us but like the then I was probably like he is kind of just like a weird Uncle, you know. Yeah. But yeah, so Ichiro laments that he couldn't get his vacuum tube back and he goes home and he eats his snack and he watches TV and he pulls out like half of a computer, just like a like a board and some parts on it.
I thought it was it was like a bad attempt at like a makeshift radio. I it will he calls a computer? Yeah. And at least in the Japanese version because he's like, computer. Take me to Monster Island though. That's what he was going for it. Yeah, but he does start playing
pretend and he's like computer. You can Monster Island and he imagines taking a plane there and then he's just on Monster Island and he's like watching from the bushes while it replays, the the scenes of Godzilla fighting came a chorus, and then from the same bushes, he's watching Godzilla fight like girl Soros. And the man is there, and giris is their giant. Condor has their hey kids don't like Godzilla monsters. Here are some of your favorites
sty just footage. I just realized that this movie is God's. They like Godzilla. A version of Where the Wild Things Are basically in a way. Yeah because the kids just imagining you know it during the day he's just daydreaming about going to Monster Island and seeing his favorite monsters to be which is weird because how would you be a fan? Like these are not fictional monsters in this world like they're real Godzilla wrecked
ass in Tokyo in 1954, right? They've saved the world from Aliens multiple times and just Just a year ago. Well actually it would be 30 years in the future. They would fucking destroy half the world but I can hold it against them. Yeah, but it's just like it's weird to think that kids it's very meta because obviously kids were big fans of Godzilla and all these monsters, but would you be in the world of Godzilla? An issue of Han deposits?
Yes, you would be how could you not giant monsters are cool. I don't think that this takes place in the actual like world, where Godzilla is a real thing? Are you sure though? Because, I like a little Evans on the moon, but they already had a moon base prior to this. Well, the moon bases in 1999, though, remember, and Destroy All Monsters. But there's also like in a, you know, it's like an alien moon base prior to this. Yeah, good.
The aura is, I mean, look, they blew up the moon and Gore ask, so, Although Gore f is technically not canon to this, but gorath is Cannon to a future movie and they blew up the moon. So, just like what in the fuck? No, no, I'm right there with you. That's that's, that's, that's established Canon. Yeah, definitely. I've argued this, I've argued this at many dinner tables. He's also, I think, but you're right.
Charlotte like, it's it, I guess it's possible to read this through the lens of like, Not being like real but yeah I mean I don't know that's just I thought that was anyway. So he's watching all these. These monsters fight Godzilla and then he falls down a hole, while running away from a come across the nose, notices him and he climbs our rope up and out, it gets lowered for him. And then mini is there? Oh no. And just starts talking to him, please. But I guess you're the English
version. Yeah. Beers. So just like this, he sounds kind of like redneck Barney actually. You know what, you know what, I Derek if I could interject for a minute I have been thinking for all of like I don't know, 15 minutes about who that guy sounded like and I realized that he sounded like the clown from Billy Madison. Oh my God. Hey kids. I'm back. I'll bet you thought that I was
dead like that. It's that that's kind of some Barney Fife, go. Going on there a little bit, like I I lost it when that thing opened its mouth and said I was like, okay but make no mistake. It's mouth does not open and close when it talks yeah it just kind of Charlotte. If that is if that is the thing that takes me out of the believability and world than I've already lost the plot.
Oh God. It's like, look, I can accept, I can accept everything I've seen so far, but I can't take the fact that, that, that his mouth isn't really moving it. He's speaking. He's speaking The King's English with a Southern accent, like, I yeah, that know, it's, it's wild because my one of my first thoughts went to Barney, right. How could you not? He has that same kind of do penis to his voice and but Barney would not be created.
For like over 15 years. After this movie was brought to the US, somebody watch this seems like somebody. Somebody watch this and took entirely the wrong things away from it. Also worth noting many is now child-sized. Just because you needed the actor in the suit. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm sorry. What was this thing's name me? Nia. Well that's a that's a problem is his name is technically. Munira because many Gogeta,
right? So, technically, if you wanted to have an English version of same, it would be many Allah like many Godzilla, but the old dubs always called him Mania like a, my Nya kind of how you pronounce it. His name is now, his name is no Marlboro Ferguson. He's a crackhead Pillsbury, Doughboy, like that's really the important thing and now he's he's real. Child-sized instead of half godzilla-sized because we needed him with the on-screen with the kid.
He looked like an entity made out of silly putty given like horrible unlife. God bless be unfinished. Please kill me. I live every day in spite of my Creator. Yeah every day I hold my Essence together is another day. One. She's my continued. Existence is a blasphemy anyway. Go Dad. So there's a monster on the island now named Cobra, which is named after Ichiro's bully. And he it's also bullying Minya now so, it's crazy, huh? Yeah Works. How would they have the exact
same name? That's so what a great coincidence and media has a bully too wild. I also want to point out that that Godzilla is an awful father, because Minya is very clearly throughout the movie blowing smoke rings. And I, any any living being that young should not be smoking, takes away the dangers of cigarettes are real and document. I don't believe that it's proper for Godzilla to do. The FDA is never proven that Vape juice will cause me of corn Lund. It's fine.
I look like something the from inside your lungs anyway. So, Ichiro's mom calls me Tommy, but the toy guy to tell him to tell Ichiro that she won't be home tonight. And then the police say the thieves, the money theater hiding somewhere near near his mom's workplace. So Minami goes and he tells each row. Those mom won't be over tonight and offers to eat dinner together so it doesn't eat alone. No functional hot man. Yeah that actually got me hungry. Like I was like I was that was
the best part of the movie. Honestly, probably, I was like that shit. Look like oh, that like tender that tender beef. Yeah, just oh, yeah, gotta go Shabu. Yeah, I love that. You had like a nice 12 second shot of that kid. Just shoveling food into his going like like you remember that? Like it was way too long. He was just sitting. It was like that sex scene in another Watchman on the spaceship. That just went on way too long so I'm serious.
This is the comparison. That you want to make, yes? Because because both made me horribly uncomfortable and I'm like okay stop it. Like a tend to see that kids just like there's no dialogue. It's just eating, you should shoveling food into his face. Also there is a massive. There's there's like a 40 on the table. Oh yeah it was. Yeah he was absolutely absolutely. Letting the kid drink. I mean well there's like it's smoke in the back. The back that leave that you sure.
Oh, Honda was intending to portray that the child was sipping out of a 40 of malt liquor with a Shoujo or whatever. It Derek. I'm sorry, but that's the headcanon I tried it. The bottle was closer to the kid than it was to the adult not by much but from the perspective, it sure looked like that. So it is that's the way it is. Yeah. So each row runs outside the play. They actually haven't eaten yet. We just talked about the eating scene. Yeah, because it's great.
Yeah, he gets caught by the bullies again and he runs and he runs inside an abandoned building nearby in there. He finds a new vacuum tube and he vows not to lose this. One of the bullies he looks outside. The bullies are starting to show up but they get distracted by a police car and run away and then a locker door, nearby Falls open and reveals a headset, which he takes. And then he also grabs an unassuming little Booklet off the ground. And then he heads upstairs and
upstairs. The money, thieves are actually hiding in a cabinet, but he doesn't notice them. Ichiro pleased when he hears more sirens and then the thieves realize that one of them has lost his passport. But his license and everything, I do want to bring it up. That's what Ichiro picked up as is common for this movie. The English voices for these two are miserable those to alert him right there. Oh, it's well, one of the guys has very like like Barney Fife again but bitched real high.
Just complete doofus voice and the other way I do and sounds like this but also the problem is he also suffers from like whoever was doing that was not close to the microphone and sound kind of like he sounds like he sounds like he sounds like in cell Solid Snake. Okay. Oh no. Oh, I dislike that, that's exactly what it sounds like. Is he? So he's here all his cough syrup. Yeah. I didn't know what that was about, there's no way that's alcohol.
It scoffs Europe was like, children's movie. And that man regularly, there were regularly scenes dedicate to that man. Long shots of him pulling a bottle, a little brown bottle out of his jacket pocket and taking a swig of it. Derek, did you not hear his voice? He had a sore throat, the entire movie, and he was just like, well, who's talking cough syrup? Yeah. But the fucking old school cough syrup that had Coke. Kanan it true.
So each row heads inside one of the thieves is tracking him back to his house and Ichiro. Did we mention it's because of the driver's license or did I cut you off? I did say that but I think we may have talked to the same time. Yes you're all picked up. The guys like whole booklet with like his passport and driver's license, everything in it so he was tracking a back home. Each row does take a second to like play with a car that's outside for sale. And I am noting that because so
this is when Minami in each row. Oh no. Oh no. Charlotte, because you don't watch the English version. You missed a case of unnecessary homophobia. Oh God. I missed that. Ya know, the the guy that comes out, that is selling that car that interrupts or that that first stops the kid and then Ox to the robbers for a bit. Oh yeah. He has the most very like Camp gay. But like it's 1970s Camp guy. It's very lispy and very high and oh my gosh.
Are you here to see this? Like it doesn't have this? I can't undo the southern from my camp, but like, it's very like, it's very like, stereotypically, like Sissy and dandy kind of voice and I was like, you didn't need to do this, you didn't. Even do any of that. What's in this movie? I don't mean to say that, that is somehow worse than the inherent racism of much of the dub, but you didn't have to do that.
That's Splash damage, every decision they made, seems like it was the worst possible decision to make what for the, for the English version hundred percent. Yeah, there's a lot of that going around at this foam. Yeah, yeah. So now you know I mean Ichiro eat together. Minami has a new toy that he's making and he's basically like, okay, for eating this meal, you'll repay me by giving me your opinion on this toy. The police show up and they asked him an Ami about his car
because that's his car. It's being sold outside, and they basically just warn him because thieves are out here, stealing cars, and the thieves now nowhere like exactly where Ichiro lives so they get ready to get their license back and Ichiro revisits, Monster Island in his sleep. And this time, Gabara chases him me. Nia gets upset about the way that Godzilla's reach them and is like, I have to learn to live on my own, which is funny, why is the the English versions of little different.
The English version makes it more like Godzilla is not neglectful, but is trying to teach me Nia to be self-sufficient. Because like media talks about like, oh, I guess we'll have to go find my dad. I've been hiding from him. You know, he's trying to teach me to fight my own battles but yeah, the Japanese version is a little bit closer to Like Son of Godzilla where it's very clear Godzilla kind of just doesn't want to be involved with this
fucking child, he found. Yeah. And then they watch Godzilla fight every row and then he fights come on gotta and they're like narrating the fights the whole time. And then there's a part where like mini actually appears In the shots and so many like walks over there. Well, that's how Crystal has the the voiceover like in the club's Gabrielle like reappears but this time meeting a grows. Yeah, he just because a shower.
That's true man sizes up. Because, yeah, and, and his, his weird Kendall crotch is right in the center. Thank you. Oh my God, the shoves his crotch. Right, like it's like the camera when he's growing and like, he's, it's not like he's, you see? He just like, gets bit. Looks like they zoom in. He just slide shows are bigger. But yeah. His crop has remained Center frame his that but like, no, they Focus right on that on his like, lizard dick. Yeah.
And it's just very reasonable. And like, and I was, I did not. I was like, no, I wasn't prepared for this. Like, this was the point. Point. This was the point where I was like, looking at my clock. I was like this movie's over soon, right? Like you were like it halfway fuck. It's got to be soon. It's got to be soon somehow. This is one of the shorter movies that we've watched may be the shortest, but this felt like the longest.
And in the only one that might be as short, if not shorter, I think they're in the unbelievable was. Similarly, very short, but feel, but ver in the unbelievable also had an extremely troubled production, right? So, So many a tries to fight. Gabara does very little to him and so they Ichiro and Molina run away. I love, Gabara Nick's camera like rolls him up. First off camera, picks him up, just slams him around a bit and then roll them into a ball and kicks him.
Like a soccer ball. Yeah, Ichiro. And like media shrinks is he's rolling so that he's normal size by the time he reaches Ichiro. But oh my God, fucking owned rocket own. There's nothing wrong with that at all. Now, it's what mean you deserves? Honestly, I'm on Gabara side. Like, I don't want to get ahead of and like, push back against the message of this movie, but like gabbar has in the right, I'm team Gabara. Yeah, absolutely.
That goes against everything you're supposed to be feeling, but Yeah. Well you know what, this, you know, what would be more sympathetic protagonist? Yeah, give me a. Give me a protagonist. That isn't just. Doesn't look like a like a what a butter and ashtray disaster. Like just give me, give me anything else. Literally, I can't think it's, I think it's because I watched the Japanese version. We look at that thing. I can't empathize with that. Like, I can't, I can't feel bad for that.
Like, it's not supposed to exist. And yet, here it is. It's walking earth now. So they, they run away, and there's jets flying over the island, Godzilla fights off the Jets, and then he sits down. And he beckons me Nia over the try to teach him how to use Atomic breath. Which is the the seam read, like get stale stepped on, and then Ichiro gets grabbed by the
thieves in his sleep. And when she envisions in the dream as the the leaves like coming alive and grabbing him, which is actually a pretty good shot because you never did not see. See Leaf man in the foliage until after it had already grabbed him. So I'm gonna give him that one, you know, me does come to try to check on them, but the door is locked. And so the thieves bring about that special building, its it is, but he's just like, hey, you don't know, I don't like this
kid. Anyway, the thieves were going back to that abandoned building and they grabbed the license, and then they go to steal minami's car outside. But minami's, eating at a street vendor. Booth so he's distracted, Ichiro.
Like slowly covers this whole with newspaper and like, like really hoping one of the one of the bees will fall down the hole that he's covered up. And then he starts chanting media's name and he like goes back to Monster Island in his mind and media is fighting Gabara again. And Gabrielle has like these electric attacks. Yeah, he may strike and Shan electricity from like his horn. Own through his arms. Yeah. So I could do that. Yeah, it's pretty cool.
You gotta remember up to this point Godzilla monsters have not really had powers, right? They've just been big things, right? Godzilla has his Atomic breath and King. Ghidorah has those, you know, gravity bolts but Godzilla and King Ghidorah the only monsters with what seemed like what you could call Powers and here's Gabrielle Gabrielle has just yeah, it's happy. Ann's. Yeah. Actually, you cannot will get into it, but I do think a Burrows kind of interesting team camera.
I'm telling you. So, mania runs back to Godzilla and Godzilla's, like, no need to fight that thing. And so media goes back and tries. Again continues to get shocked and then Godzilla finally steps in Gabara ends up stepping on like a downed tree and the mini a jumps on the other side, like a seesaw and gets launched away. Which that's right. When I sent you that that scene about what they call Gabara and that particular situation.
Yeah, yeah. And then Godzilla and be near like celebrating and hugging the think you ever like trust the bike? Godzilla's leg. And then Godzilla. Finally, he's like, you know what? No, I'm done and actually fights Gabara, and then after beating up gabber Godzilla turns towards Ichiro, like he's about to kill him, but each row does why? Up, I do want to talk about so because of course, first me Nia seesaw, tosses Gabara and gabbar.
Does that fucking somersault through the air to land on his face? And then when he's fighting Godzilla Godzilla, picks him up and just fucking shoulder, Chuck's him through the air and once again, throws this motherfucker right on his face and it got it's hard not to feel kind of bad for Gabara. No, it's not like hell. Yeah. Somebody got their ass whooped
at this point. This point, I would like everybody involved not just in the movie, but in the making of this movie, you like, and like I'm like, I wish like basically it's like, you know, I have no, my pain is sharp and constant. And I don't hope for a better tomorrow for anyone, this point.
And so one of the thieves grabs Ichiro because he's like screaming from from The Nightmare because he thinks he's about to be eaten and the things the decided they're going to take Ichiro hostage and they are they're trying to get away using minami's car, but it won't start. And so in the back seat of the car, Ichiro, finally gets his gag off and starts running away and he like mimics what?
I mean, he's biting attacks from earlier to get away and he heads back into the abandoned building and hides in there and the thieves go in there. Trying to Item. And he like, evades him for a while. While Minami outside, finally realizes that something's going on with this car, you know, he gets in there, he finds the money back. Immediately calls the police wrong. You keep some of that money.
You stuff like two, bundles, in your pockets and pretend that they weren't there, then you call the police. Well, and then I assured, yeah it's already recording conversation. I'll go on the record. That's a finder's fee. It's the bank's money. It's not like they robbed an old folks home or an animal shelter. It's a fucking bank. Eric, I agree with you so that that whole that Ichiro covered earlier, finally pays off.
And one of the one of the thieves falls into it and then the other ones like tripping over everything and he chose to start throwing trash at him. But he pulls out this knife and each girl likes praise him with a fire extinguisher and finally, the police show up and they see each row in the thieves, leaving the building that these get arrested and then like each row goes back home, each Rose. Mom, is there the next day? She's like, okay, I'm sorry, I won't work nights anymore, but
he chose like no, that's fine. I can handle myself clearly. Yeah. And the Porter's, show up, Wiley chosen ones with the school and ask him about it. Like what happened? How did you feel? And he's like, no, I wasn't alone. Media was with me and then minami's, like, for adults, there is God, but for children, there is Media the god, which explains a lot about children. That's a weird start walking him
in in it, okay? So, this is one of the only times where I think the American version might have done something better. Which is basically they talked about how we all have like people we look up to to inspire us and for this kid monsters are his inspiration. Yeah, that makes me miss instead. Yeah, the God. Yeah. Pooh boy, Mania is God really. No, that's a world. I don't want to be a part of It's the world is movie takes
place. I'm not God, but he did create Me In His Image. So that's Chico and Ichiro. Start walking to school. They can head It Off by the bull is again and the bullies are like, you're finally cooled, you want to join us and he's like, no I hate bullies. And he fights Cobra and winds. And then he just he goes and he haunts the motorcycle horn, they were daring and the honk. Anyway, darling the gone, the ladder and he gets paint all
over him. So all the kids are running away and Ichiro runs past his dad and the train again. And he's like, hey, I did the thing behind me. Please apologize for me. And then he screams an apology to the painter. Yeah, he like, he's like, he's like I'm sorry my son assaulted you like and then gets out like tries to fight. The guy who makes here. All all Ichiro did was honk the motorcycle horn. It's not like each other without boy through. Yeah. Through paint at the Cowboy, the
cowboy did that to himself? Well, I don't mean to defend this, because here's the thing. Lets, you know, for a movie, that's about like anti-bullying, he sure. Does immediately after defeating his bully go and do the thing that the bully asked him to do, that's what I was gonna say to win this going to get his approval. So little bit of a mixed message, But yeah, he screams an apology back to the painter and then the kids go to school. And that's it. That was the whole movie.
That's the movie. Yeah. Oh fuck. I'm really angry you for forcing me. So what's so? Here's here's the thing. Um, let's talk about the monsters before we go into getting into behind the movie. So, first and foremost, is me Nia? Who I think is the same suit. I know. It's still march and the dwarf playing media. I think it's the same suit that we saw in Son of Godzilla and Destroy All Monsters but it's really upsetting to see it next to just a human child. I don't like it.
He's got five teeth total, which might explain why, he bloody all I counted three. He's got three on top and two on the bottom, okay? But they're like also just long pegs. Weirdly long pegs. I hate it. Somebody. Somebody got some Kabob, skewers. And, yeah, we need teeth in this costume. Get those Kabob skewers from like, like, fucking gerbil teeth. And then there's also a like an animatronic head. They use in a couple of close ups which was deeply unsettling. Yeah.
Look, we rag'd on Mania so hard incentive Godzilla and clearly we don't have that out of our system. Yet mean, he's like the most controversial part of Godzilla fandom. In at least, in regards to the showa era at this point and I cannot stress enough, like your, how you feel about this movie is going to be tied directly to how much meaning you can stomach, which in my case is almost none. None. Yeah, 00. Yeah. Somehow. It looked way more melted than I remember.
It's weathered after a couple of years that's because well, no, like Like that's because the numerous Souls of murdered people that they use to give life to the media automaton. Slowly kind of like the wind to go like when it possesses a person according to Algonquin lure like it quickly decays the body of the person because of the because of the like the sheer Darkness within it. Like I imagine that's probably what happened, what's happening? See I was, that's my theory.
I was just going to ask if y'all remember Frosty the Snowman. Yeah, yes, I do. Yeah. But I do in fact, remember Frosty, but, yeah, Mina Mina is rough and Just Like, Son of Godzilla was very heavily impacted by how much me you could handle. So is this movie? The difference is Son of Godzilla, didn't have this much me. Nia and most of the time. Well, none of the time he was fucking talking. I'll give you that.
That makes this so much worse. What was the, what was the, what was the thinking behind that particular creative decision? I mean, you got to remember, this was a movie made and targeted directly at children. So I like you have to give it a bit of leeway. This was not meant to be a big sci-fi Blockbuster. This was a children's movie about bullying released as part of a film festival, cobbled together from a lot of stock footage.
So I do want to again and again like the Is version is a lot better by virtue of the fact that it is it awfully fucking racist, but I do. I do think it's pretty cool that they taught you. Like, I think the, like, the core message of the movie is, if you see anything like, like that horrible Abomination, real life? Bully it. Yeah. Like, you should absolutely
believe that. Yeah. It's like the movies about bullying, but the solution to bullying is beat beat up. Your bullies, absolutely h. Actually, I mean, kind of Honda, I'm kind of with you, maybe, like, maybe beat up your bullies. Beat the shit out of your maybe. Maybe you again, maybe kick the shit out of your bullies. Maybe he's Justified you're gonna get suspended from school, but like nobody's gonna know
he's gonna screw the anymore. Yeah, look, I'm going to say this as somebody who is mercilessly fucking bullied. Not reacting, never stopped any of the people who Lead me, you want to know the one motherfucker who did stop bullying. Me is the person that I fought back against and I mean, he will beat my ass but like I fought back and ever fuck with me no more. So like maybe I should have fought more people in middle school is what I'm saying? Absolutely. Yeah. I'll endorse that.
Yeah that's that's that is a an official message from us here at Castle Bravo is be done until my son, my 14 year old, like fight as many people as you can. Well, the bullies, you're bullies like Bad guy. Not just I said, what? No, no, I specified that. I told him. I said when you're in school, you see a bully. I want you to become Vengeance. Be God night. I say this, but I am team Gabara, so, but that really has more to do with my intense visceral hatred of media.
I will gladly be a hypocrite in that one. Instant, I guess I guess my whole thing about that and the reason that I'm not like enthusiastically endorsing being teen gabriela's because like many has clearly just tear off. Ha, you won't write roads. Just a cage, roads. A kid doesn't deserve to be bullied. He's just a kid out there, living his life, he's got no parenting. He's, you know, got himself a little girlfriend, he has an active imagination, great good
kid, nothing wrong with that. It is not, but he could have chosen a better for Sona is really, I guess what? I'm trying to get at technically, he'd be a scaly. He's changed a lot of people's outlook on this movie really quickly. Um, before we talk about Gabrielle, let's talk very briefly about Godzilla.
So I think Godzilla's still using the same suit as Destroy All Monsters. But the problem is it looks good because this movie is so heavily made out of stock footage, there's like three different Godzilla suits and three drastically. Different looking Godzilla suits that he switches between Shot to shot because anything new that they shot uses the Destroy, All Monsters suit but then some of
it uses the suit from abdera. Some of it uses the suit from Son of Godzilla which looked very very different. And I think one or two of the underwater shots even used the suit from like you Dora. The three-headed monster which they held onto and wreak since it was in worse shape, they used it for a lot of the underwater. You know, scenes because they didn't want the nice new suits to get damaged, but yes, that's
very distracting. Unfortunately, in a way that Godzilla has not been up to this point to me and there's camera, and I mean, I've said, I'm team Gabara, I really like Gabara. I really like gabbers design got this kind of Japanese ogre thing going on. That is a really interesting. Look, I really like the eyes are very This is a very unique and weird Roar that John said, what it's like haunted by nightmares. Yeah. Yeah.
I hate it, right. It sounds like sounds like, it sounds like a billy goat had just done. Like, it's just like snorted a line of ants. That's the best way I can describe it. I mean, it is, it's like it's an upsetting kind of Roar, but like it's very memorable and it works perfectly for what they're trying to set up is the This extremely unlikable, you know, gross, big bully monster. It's certainly better than the donkey noises they use for me. Nia God.
Yeah, it's not my favorite. Yeah, yeah. So this movie directed by ishiro, Honda as mentioned before, Honda look. We've had a couple of these were like, we turned out to really like the movie and then Honda's like yeah, I don't feel great about how this one turned out. This is the exact opposite. I don't like this movie and Honda, Honda is proud of it, but I think that's because Honda's proud of like making a thing for kids. That's it. That's the thing.
You can't divorce from the situation. I'm not a kid, right? As a kid. I kind of like the movie, but found it, cheesy and hokey. I think largely because of the poor English dub of the movie which was, oh my God. But like, Honda set out to make a kids movie about latchkey kids and about bullying and about standing up for yourself and he did that and he did that on
almost no budget. And now, you know, he's happy with the work, he turned out for what it was, which I think is important to keep in context that he was, again, not making a big Blockbuster but, you know, a children's movie for a film festival. Yeah, you know, how mom will give him that? We've got to talk. I before before we go on, we've already talked about, this is this is going to be the last thing we talked about how we feel about this movie, but I've just, I've got a call out to
make. I need, I need to take the stand, we're canceling a motherfucker today. So this movie, I know that a lot of these movies were dubbed in Hong Kong, right? And that was my thought going into this movie. I'm used to the often bad kind of stilted awkward dubs because it's Hong Kong actors, you know who are multilingual. Speaking English, you know, because they were cheap labor to get these dubbed over.
I if I remember correctly, like RKO was Infamous for doing that but I was looking into this movie because this movie was real bad, like I remember thinking like this is rough and John was like, this is This is racist. You were telling the early in the movie. You were like. This is not your, like, I'm not comfortable with this. Yeah. And I would do. Yeah.
And I was like, well, I think it's a Hong Kong dub, but I looked it up while we were watching to confirm because I like to be as accurate as possible. And this fucking movie was dubbed at writer sound Studios in Hollywood, California with the translation and, and, and voiceover work. Overseen by one Riley. Jackson, mr. Riley Jackson. I am coming for your ass. What in the fuck was going on with this fucking movie? What, in God's name made?
You think that you could go full Mickey, Rooney and Breakfast at Tiffany's, which is a reference. I know I continue to make because it's one of these singularly like most anti-asian like Moments in American Cinema Breakfast at Tiffany's, was what your God. I can look it up. 1 1961. Okay, okay, okay, so yeah, it's fair for me to keep saying because we're now this movie was brought to the u.s. in 1971. So this is a full Ten Years After Breakfast at Tiffany's.
And this dude this man must have bought five tickets to Breakfast at Tiffany's just for the Mickey Rooney seats. Like, This, truly fucking disgusting unwashed ass, made inless. Hope you never reproduce fucking energy. Riley fucking Jess. I looked up. This man's IMDb page. I was gonna die. I'm telling you if it was possible I would have What in the shit? The only merciful thing is his IMDb page is very short.
He did not get a hand in very many movies, presumably because a crowd of Asian Americans and It's the only acceptable response If the message of this movie is to fight back against your bullies, Riley, fucking Jackson is a bully and every Asian American and his neighborhood. Deserved at least one good. I am, I am. What the fuck? Yeah, I like clicked through the English version and like I like I said, I had to do like, a
double take. I was like there's no fucking way that these kids sound like this. In this movie. There's no way Jesus fucking Christ. Like, I'm John. So, I was going to say, like, I so so when they first started talking like, like it really hit me like, it really not even comfortable like when like like doing an impression. Freshen because it's no, I deeply racist, like no, like I would have to take myself out back, like it really hit me when
the two thieves started talking. Oh, I was like, man. I was like, oh God. This is, this is hmm. And it's, so now Derek. Now, that you've now that we've learned because because we were in an impression while we were watching it that this was dubbed in Hong Kong, right? And I was like, I'm not going to judge. People for whom English is not their first language on their pronunciation and inflict inflections in English. But know, this shit was done in the in California cooking for
Nia in true. California liberal fashion like just the most deeply fucking race this motherfucker. Probably thought he was so cool. Oh my God. I'm so I'm so done with Riley fucking Jackson and writers. Sound Studios, Jesus Christ. I bet this motherfucker, if he's alive today, I bet he would have voted for Obama for a third term. You know what I mean?
Like oh, I hate this man. I hate this man so much like it's actually more my feelings on this movie are more powerfully affected by that Revelation, then by my sleep paralysis demon me. Nia This is why it's been so important for me. When we started Castle Bravo to watch, every one of these movies that we could in there Japanese versions and why, I think every movie after this one, I have sourced Japanese versions of unless it's a Hollywood movie,
right? The 1998. Godzilla is going to be the American version, the legendary One's Gonna Be the American version But we'd seen a couple English versions, they've all been rough and this is really the point that really brought me to a head of exactly how damaging and racist many of these American versions of these movies were and how much they fed into Auntie Asian stereotypes in terms of, you know, goofy voices and and, you know, speech impediments and so on.
And so, So forth. And like I'm embarrassed that this was a part of my childhood and I'm glad we're now going back and re correcting it and seeing the original versions of a lot of these movies and seeing them for the, the work that went into them, basically, instead of the, the cheap things that they were turned into to fill Hollywood Video store shelves. I'm mad y'all. I'm just I'm just like deflated. Yeah, like like I don't ever make me do this again so here's
the good thing. Okay, you have sat through, not only what is generally considered the worst Godzilla movie of all time and a truly awful racist version of that as well. But as a reward you're coming back and season for for one of The most beloved, and highly respected Godzilla, movies of all time. That's fantastic Derek because I cannot do this again. You were coming back for a movie. That is known by fans as gmk Godzilla Mothra King Ghidorah
giant monsters. All out attack, it's a stupidly long title so that's why people just call it gmk, but it is a fantastic Standalone film. That is a really impressive piece of practical effects work for its Time a very serious story and very edgy. I told you. That's the one where Godzilla is a vessel for all the souls of American and Japanese soldiers who died in the Pacific during World War 2. He wasn't already know.
No Godzilla was originally just a representation of, you know, Atomic power, gone wrong and the bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki. But like in that movie, Godzilla's literally, full Of ghosts and it's pretty fucking sick, but we'll get to that in like two fucking years. For now, we're here. How do y'all feel about this movie? Where's our finals? I'm trying my best not to feel about this movie honestly, you know, goddamn well. How I feel about this movie so
Derek? I got to tell you, um, The night. We watch that. Which was it was what? Like, it's Wednesday night. Yeah. Wednesday. Last Wednesday. We watch the movie. I was real sad after we after after we watch the movie I poured myself a double and I went outside. It was like say it was like 21 degrees out. I went outside barefoot and stood in the grass. And I drank my double because I was conducting an experiment.
Derek, I wanted to see whether or not I could even feel pain and discomfort whether or not Winters by would even affect you anymore. It's so I stood there in the in the wet grass at night 20-degree, weather drinking my double. With no no shoes or socks on just standing in the grass as you can fucking hillbilly. What I normally don't do that. See that's the thing. Like I normally don't do that. I was testing myself to see if I could still feel and after a while after a while.
Finally. The like I started to feel pain in my feet after about maybe three hours Hours, 3 hours. At that point out there for three hours. Oh, yeah. And I started crying because I knew that I knew that I knew that, no matter how I was relieved, it was it was it was there were tears of relief because I thought to myself, my Humanity still here, I can still feel, I can still, I can still feel pain and sorrow and so I can't I wept a little bit. I came back inside and I Lapsed
into Vicki's arms, just sobbing. And she said, honey, what's wrong? And I said, I said, I'm, it's still me. I was so afraid that I'd lost an essential part of myself tonight, but I'm still here. It's still me and the dogs ran up to me and they didn't know what was going on. Vicki, didn't what was going on? But she was happy that, you know, I was still I was still fundamentally who I woke up that morning as though I will say
that. As I went to sleep that I had like, you know, foot warmers on to the kind of like fight off the frostbite that it said, in standing in the grass.
I thought to myself long and hard I thought, you know, even though, I even though, I feel like I passed the test and I, you know, I'm fundamentally, I fundamentally remained John I still feel like the John that the John that sat down at that computer, who watched that movie sort like I don't want to say died but but sort of I guess faded away into the either and the John that re-emerged an hour and 10 minutes later was a little wiser a little more introspective.
A little sadder but also at the end of the day a little more hope because I figured no matter what I do with my life. Nothing could be as gut-wrenching and painful as that experience. What? I don't want to warn everyone out there might consider watching Godzilla's Revenge in the future, what will happen to you is? In fact, Godzilla's Revenge, I don't know what we did. You deserve it? I don't know. I don't know why he decided to. I don't know why he decided that we deserved this.
I don't know why he decided that we needed this, but he it's out there and I want you to know that that there are. I've started a support group you can. It's it's a survivors of Godzilla's Revenge dot dot org. There's a forum. You can visit other people like you who have watched this. Tin Can can post and and like talk each other through their troubles, it's a safe space for anybody who has, who has experienced, you know, and even my brain has actually blocked the memory of that creatures
name. I'm going to buy survivors of Godzilla's Revenge.com and just redirected to your Twitter profile. That's fine. That's fine. If you're on Twitter and you're hearing this, you can always and You've seen Godzilla's Revenge in your and you think it might be in the room with you? Then any given time? Let me know will first call the authorities. Call them that Godzilla's Revenge is somewhere in the house.
You don't know where and lock, you know, locked yourself in a secure room and shoot me a DM. I can, I can help you talk. I can help talk. That's how I feel about Godzilla. Charlotte. Did you have an existential crisis? No, I just read it sucked but I've okay, it's fully admit while I did not question my Humanity. There was a part of me that worried that when I went to sleep, that night, I would open my eyes in the dream world.
And I would see mean you waiting for me on Monster Island and I'm just glad that didn't happen. I I edited this movie because there was no, like, Blu-ray release of Godzilla's Revenge, the American cut. So, I went through the process of like re cutting and putting the new audio track, like remastering the audio track. You know, somebody out there had done like a, an HD re-edit that had like a re-creation of the opening and ending credits that I cribbed alongside like footage
from a JAP like I put work. Into creating and destroying. I don't think I can because I think it contains a part of my soul now. So I have the world's only Blu-ray quality copy of the English version of this movie and I don't like that. But here we are. I'm going to lock it away. Do we have anything else? Jesus Christ. That thank fucking God, is a wrap on this episode. Thank you all so much for joining us on our journey so far.
John you got any pluggable? Yeah actually everything I use my computer my place shut the fuck up social media links. Oh okay. Yeah you can follow me at magitek Dad where I talk about Video games and Bully bad people and you can also find me therapy for having watched Godzilla's. Oh God. Same you can follow us on Twitter. Maybe for not much longer for more of our sparkling personalities. I'm at Derby City. Derek? I'm at this Arrow complex. We didn't do one of these.
No, we gave up yeah. So I didn't get the spell it because I only do it on odd. Numbered episodes. I'm not scared. We gotta stick to the odd numbers, right? Yeah. And you can follow the show itself at Castle Bravo. Pod for production updates. Take care, everyone. Don't watch. Godzilla's Revenge. Castle Bravo is a production of Derek Van Dyke and Charlotte
landel. All editing is performed by Derek Van Dyke special thanks to Kiri a Lamont for our art assets and to David Van Dyke for our theme song pools of memory.