Hi everyone. I'm Holly Robinson, pete, actor, author, advocate, do it All mom, and I'm also a caregiver. And this is care Walks, a podcast from iHeartRadio and Voltaian Arthritis Pain Gel. It's a show for family caregivers who give everything to everyone and need to make time for themselves through movement. Every episode is designed for you to walk as you listen, so just think of me and my
guests as your weekly walking buddies. We'll hear stories from caregivers and gain tips and insights from health experts and advocates who know how important it is to take care of yourself and manage joint pain due to arthritis that often a companies being a caregiver. Welcome to our very first episode of care Walks. Everyone. I'm so glad you're here and I'm so excited to be here with you. You may not know this about me, but my own journey as a family caregiver started when I was just nineteen
years old. My father, Matt Robinson, who some of you may remember originated the role of Gordon on Sesame Street, was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. I loved my dad so much so when I was a freshman in college and his health started to deteriorate. The choice was very clear to me. While I was in school. I chose to also be my dad's primary caregiver. It was not an easy road, and I took care of him for twenty pretty challenging years, but I will never regret being able
to spend that time with my dad. It gave us the chance to repair some of the issues we had in our relationship, and I was able to see him in a totally different light. And it was just such an important and influential time in my life. I only wish a show like care Walks was around then. There was so much I didn't know when I was starting my caregiving journey with my dad. I felt so lost
at the start. So my goal is to make sure this podcast makes you feel a little little less alone in your caregiving journey and gives you some valuable resources to help you also take care of yourself. As a reminder, right now, you're listening to the abridged version of this episode, but if you're looking to get a little extra inspiration, don't miss a minute. Check out the full length version of this episode in your podcast feed. All right now,
that that's settled, let's dig into this episode today. We're talking about taking care of ourselves when we're taking care of others. How do you make yourself a priority in it all? You know, I think this is honestly the hardest thing about being a caregiver. You give, and you give so much, and everyone relies on you to take care of things, and then when it comes to taking time for you, it can almost feel selfish. But the reality is self care is so important when you're a
family caregiver. You cannot fill from an empty cup. Remember that you cannot run yourself into the ground and be the best vers of yourself for the people you love. Taking time to care for yourself and do things that are good for your health, like taking a walk, will make you that much better at everything you do for others. To help us better understand the importance of self care for caregivers, I'm gonna chat with Nadine Robert's Cornish later.
Nadine is the founder of The Caregiver's Guardian, and she's gonna help us get over the idea that we need to always put others first and give us advice on easy ways to start taking care of our needs. But before we get into today's conversation, let's begin our walk. Every week, I'm going to help you start your walk with a mindfulness exercise, So let's get started. First off, celebrate yourself and your body for showing up today and
finding time to get active when you're a caregiver. I know it can be really tough, but it is so important, and I want you to keep telling yourself this every time a thought pops up, reminding you of other things that you have to get done today. So when you have a moment, take a breath, a deep breath in through your nose and let that air fill your lungs.
Feel the sensation of your stomach and your chest rising with your breath, and now breathe out through your mouth and let everything in your body relax as you release that air. Self care is what lets us refuel to
be the best version of ourselves. Now, I want you to find a good pace to settle into for the rest of the show, and as you do that, I'm going to share my conversation with our guest, Nadine Robert's Cornish, and together we're going to keep you company and learn more about how we can take better care of ourselves as we care for others. Today, I'm joined by Nadine Roberts Cornish, the founder of the Caregivers Guardian LLC. She founded the organization after her own experience of being a
caregiver to her mother for fifteen years. Nadine discusses her story in her book Tears in My Gumbo, The Caregiver's Recipe for Resilience. Nadine, Welcome to care Walks.
Thank you so much, Tally, It's great to see you, great to be here.
Yes, I love the title of your book, Tears in My Gumbo. Can you tell us a little bit about what your experience as a caregiver has been like?
Absolutely so. My personal experience of fifteen years caring for my mom was the experience of a lifetime one. It was an opportunity for me to give back to the person who gave me life right. But it was probably the most challenging and difficult experience I have ever encountered. So it's been a heck of a journey. It's been now almost twenty five years of supporting caregivers across the country and helping caregivers recognize that they must in fact
make themselves the number one priority in their lives. What I tell all of my caregivers is that none of us choose this path. We all want a different scenario, you know, we have a different dream and vision of what our best lives is supposed to look like, and when we embark upon the caregiving journey, oftentimes that's not
congruent with what we thought. And so it really is a resignation to the reality that life isn't quite going the way we wanted to go, and we're having to wear hats or step into a role that we didn't see coming. But it really requires us to change who we are.
It does, and you're never really prepared for how that manifests itself. Now just kind of have to go with the flow. And that is one of the hardest parts, at least for me. How did you find your own voice during a time that's just it's very hard to speak up for yourself.
This is good because it's so necessary. I had an advantage with a background in public health. I knew how to advocate for my mother. What I didn't know was how to step back, to take care of myself, to let other people take charge so that I could recharge so that I could really do the necessary work on myself. Yes, oftentimes we get really, we get it really twisted. We think that we are supposed to give and give and give and do and do until there is nothing left.
Yep.
And we also have this complex around stopping to take care of ourselves. Yes, it's guilt associated for so many people. And it's this warped idea that self care, taking care of yourself is a selfish act, when in fact it is mandatory. Yes, and my book I talk about it not it being non negotiable. Yes, you cannot take care of someone else if you are not making yourself a priority in the program and if you are not finding a way. And I don't really subscribe so much to balance,
because balance, to me is a fallacy. Yes, harmony, however impossible, You can find harmony, and creating harmony when you are caring for a loved one is absolutely essential, and sometimes that means giving up on the idea of who's supposed to support you along this journey. A lot of us get really caught up in the idea that our siblings are supposed to help carry the weight. And many times,
in many families that simply isn't the case. But because the sibling isn't willing to do it, we say no to everyone else in community that would be willing to support us. And so really releasing the idea of who it must be and accepting whoever it is that shows up to support you in the journey is essential.
That is a word right there.
It takes a community, takes a village.
It definitely, definitely does. And how do you recharge, Nadine? What are your most vital self care practices?
Prayer and meditation?
Okay, good, good, good, talk about that a little bit.
If you don't have a spiritual practice, if you don't even know what that is, caregiving will demand that you seek it out. You have to tap into something larger than yourself in order to adequately complete this assignment. That's not something that's done on an occasional basis. It is a discipline, a discipline around and making sure that I'm recharging and I'm filling my cup because caregiving will empty it every single day. There will not be a drop.
Left, Yes, it will. And how important is movement and what are your favorite ways to stay physically active?
And movement is essential? I am now knocking on the door of sixty two, and I'm on that being active, being physically fit is really important to me. Dancing is a regular part of my regiment. I love music, I love moving my body. I can't necessarily do all of the latest moves, but I can give it a whirl.
Right, I'll bet you can do most of them.
Hey, I give it a good try, that's for sure. Getting to the gym, and when I can't get to the gym, walking, I'm a power walker. And cycling was something that I never saw. I didn't never saw myself as a cyclist, but during the summer months, I live in beautiful Colorado and we have some of the best mountain paths and trails in the country, and I take full advantage of it. I'm a cyclist, so I move my body. It is absolutely essential.
I started caregiving at nineteen when my dad was diagnosed with Parkinson's, but I never thought that I should stop to take care of myself. I never thought of my job was to take care of my daddy, and that's what I was going to do.
Well. When you feel better about yourself, you feel better about what you have to do. You feel better about the task of caregiving. You show up as a better version of yourself. You're not quite as miserable, not quite as grumpy or unhappy as you become when you don't make self care priority.
Absolutely, Nadine Roberts Cornish, thank you so much for being a part of care Walks today. Your book tiers in my gumbo The Caregiver's recipe for resilience is out. Everybody should get that. I really appreciate having this conversation with you today. Thank you for being an amazing caregiver.
Thank you, Holly. It's been great and I really appreciate all that you are doing for caregivers across this country.
Thank you so much. I want to thank Nadine again for being my guest today. I really appreciate our conversation touching on the stigmas of caregiving, learning to prioritize your self care and be mindful of burnout, to avoid losing your identity and caregiving, I for one, fully relate to the struggles around making yourself a priority. That's it for
today's episode. Thank you once again to Nadine Roberts Cornish, and don't forget to come back next week for another walk where our guest doctor Amanda Nelson will share how movement and physical activity can help us take better care of ourselves and combat joint pain. And remember keep walking and don't forget to take care of yourself too. Care Walks is produced by iHeartRadio in partnership with voltairean Arthritis Pain Gel, and hosted by me Holly Robinson Pete. Our
executive producer is Molly Sosha. Our head engineer is Matt Stillough. This episode was written and produced by Sierra Kaiser, with special thanks to our partners at GSK Platform, GSK, Weber, Shandwick and Edelman