Finding Community and Combating Caregiver Isolation (Abridged Version)

and my guests as you're weekly walking buddies. We'll hear stories from caregivers and gain tips and insights from health experts and advocates who know how important it is to take care of yourself and manage joint pain due to arthritis that often accompanies being a caregiver. Will discover community, ourselves and maybe even alleviate some joint pain due to arthritis in the process as we walk together and connect

to the best parts of being a caregiver. So thanks for joining us on what will be another great episode of care Walks. How has your week been? Were you able to take some time for yourself? Don't forget to lean on your support systems and find ways to connect and reconnect with the people and activities you love outside

of your caregiving responsibilities. As a reminder. Right now, you're listening to the abridged version of this episode, but if you're looking to get a little extra inspiration, don't miss a minute. Check out the full length version of this episode in your podcast feed. Today's episode is all about the importance of finding and maintaining a community as a caregiver. It's so easy to become an island and feel like you're all by yourself in this role, and that isolation

can lead to depression. When I was younger, I didn't realize how much caregiver isolation was affecting me. And that's why I'm so glad that we can share care walks together, because you don't have to do this all on your own. Today, I'll be joined by caregiver Lakda casting. Lakida has served as a caregiver to multiple family members. In her first two caregiving experiences with her aunt and uncle, Lakida frequently

felt alone and without any support. When another aunt of hers became ill, she was determined to make sure her cousin didn't go through the same sense of isolation she did. Lakida volunteered to help her cousin and her aunt and she is now taking on a new mission with her organization, caring for caregivers. Before we get to my conversation with Lakida, let's get walking. A great mantra for today's conversation will

be I am stronger when I ask for help. Whenever you're to do list pops up during this walk, say that to yourself, I am stronger when I ask for help. Feel your feet connecting with the ground on each step. What do you notice about the way each part of your body works together to keep you in movement. Let's take a couple of deep breaths together and through the nose, out through the mouth one more time, and through your

nose and out through your mouth. If you're someone who is responsible for the care of someone in your life, you know that sometimes it can feel incredibly isolating, but you are not alone. With each step you take, think about someone who has been there for you. How do you feel when you let someone support you the same

way you support others. Now, as you start to settle into your pace and your breath, remember to stay present in this moment, and when you start to think about your daily to do list again, remember today's mantra, I am stronger when I ask for help. Keep moving and give yourself time to recharge. I'm going to be there in your ear, keeping you company. Alongside our guest and fellow caregiver, Lakida Caston, I'm here with Lakida Caston. Lakida

is a family caregiver based in Detroit. Lakida first began her caregiving journey when her aunt reached out looking for help caring for Lakida's uncle. Shortly after, her aunt passed away from cancer, but Lakia stayed in Baton Rouge and cared for her uncle alone for five years as he battled Alzheimer's disease. Today, Lakida is still caring for her

family members, but no longer alone. She supports her cousin as they care for his mother together and build the organization Caring for Caregivers, which provides support and respite to family caregivers. Lakda, Welcome to care Walks. Thank you, thank you. I'm so happy to be here. I'm happy to have you. So could you tell us about how you first became a caregiver. It was the most extraordinary thing. My aunt

was ill. I didn't know how ill she was, and she called me one day and said, you know what, I need somebody here. Your uncle and I are getting a little older and we need somebody staying in the house. Could you come down and help us out? And so I came down and two weeks later she passed away. She had stage four lung cancer. She was an opera singer, so she sounded so strong over the phone. No one knew she was as ill as she was. And when I got down there and I saw her how emaciated

she was, it scared me a little bit. But if you knew her life, you would know that he had lived a wonderful life. It was just amazing to see the love that she had for her husband. She told me that he was suffering from short term memory loss, but I found out that it was Alzheimer's and he was doing pretty well, pretty good at first, but it became worse and worse, of course, as years went by.

She sounded like an amazing woman, your aunt. Just the fact that she reached out and you were able to come and connect with her, and then you shifted your focus to her husband, your uncle. Yes, my uncle was a very very intelligent man. He was a dean of engineering at Southern university. So to watch him decline that way was a bit unnerving, but every day you have to get used to a new normal. But I got to know him in a way that I I don't think anyone else knew him, and that was a consoling

thought for me. You mentioned that you were on your own as a caregiver in Baton Rouge, and since then have you been able to talk to your friends and your family about your feelings and your experience. Yes, I have, And as a matter of fact, my daughters would come and visit me when they could. We all live in separate states, so they came and visited when they could, and they would give me a break or let me go for a weekend just to get some rest, because

that's that's what's needed. I started Caring for Caregivers, a foundation where I want to supply respie care for family caregivers and that's it. Maybe they need a massage and home massage or hair done, just something to make them feel like themselves. They're not always a caregiver every single moment of every single day, because that's what you are as a family caregiver. Caring for caregivers sounds like an awesome resource, just an opportunity just find community. Yes, that

was something that I wish I had. I found it was very difficult to find resources for caregiver support. Yes, So how would you suggest caregivers best combat feelings of isolation? The way I did it was going back to something that I loved When I was younger, I majored in performing arts, and of course I couldn't do that. They're in bad and rouge. I couldn't really do a lot of theatrical things. But I became a costume designer for community theater there, so I did a lot of costume

design and then I ended up acting. And that was one thing that my uncle was then still for because my aunt was an opera sinker. He would love to go to the theater and just sit and watch. It doesn't matter whether it those rehearsals. And that was one thing that was constant. And then isn't it wonderful Your theater community is amazing. They're all family, so they would sit there with him. He became everyone's uncle and it

was amazing how they treated him. The first role that I played in was Dot by Coleman Domingo, and it's about a woman who has Alzheimer's. Wow, and it was so prophetic. It was amazing. I was able to like channel some things from him and totally understand where that character came from. So I loved how everyone rallied around my uncle, and I loved how I was able to

do that and he was able to see it. I don't know whether he understood everything about it, but he always had a kiss on the cheek from me when I came on stage, And man, I'm tearing up from that. Wow. That never know, that's so emotional. That's that's a great memory though. That's a great memory. My question for you is when when do you know you need to reach out to others for help or support? What are the signs.

I think when you're angry, the frustration kicks in. I think that's when you need to make sure that you reach out, because God bless them. There were some days that I was just like, would you please just do as I ask? Let's get this done. That's why I'm not gonna be that picky about things that need to be exactly the way. You're gonna put on these socks, you're gonna put on these pants, you know what you want to wear? Your underwear outside your your gym shorts.

We're not going anywhere today, Fine, but yeah, that's when you start getting so frustrated that you're frustrated at your loved one and you're frustrated at yourself. That's when you need to go out and you need to talk, and you need to talk to someone quickly. I first one to a caregiver support group when I was about nineteen or twenty, and I felt so good after talking to other caregivers and other families dealing with Parkinson's. At the time,

I felt so heard and seen. So I always encourage caregivers to get together and talk, most definitely because didn't you feel a little bit. I don't know about you, but I felt a little awkward even when I took my uncle out. Not awkward about him and his condition. I felt awkward that other people would look at him or maybe laugh or or I just felt like I didn't want him to be judged, and I didn't want me to be judged. I just didn't like the idea

of someone mocking him. So I love to be able to be around people who understood the situation and there was no judgment. Wow, I've really enjoyed this conversation and I'm so glad to meet you and connect with you. Take care of yourself. Thank you YouTube. Thanks again to

Lookida Caston for joining me today. Hearing more about her story really reminded me how proud every caregiver should be of them elves, not only for the time they dedicate to their loved one, but also for finding joy in that process and being able to share that joy with others. That's it for today's episode. Join us next time with physical trainer and fitness educator Pete McCall. Together will explore the importance of mobility and strength training for caregivers with

joint pain due to arthritis. Until our next walk, don't forget to find the support you need and take care of yourself too. Care Walks is produced by I Heart Radio in partnership with al Ter In Arthritis Pain Jael and hosted by me Holly Robinson Pete. Our executive producer is Molly Sosha. Our head engineer is Matt Stillo. This episode was written and produced by Sierra Kaiser, with special thanks to our partners at g s K Platform, GSK, Weber Shandwick and Edelman