Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and the Black Effects, And just like that, we're back on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl. Just hilarious. And I think now we can say, doctor Jess, i'd be fixing people's mess and maybe updating me on the situations. And I haven't gotten a lot of people. I haven't even gotten a handful of people. And you only got five fingers. I'm sorry and shut out to people who have less. You
only got five fingers. You're supposed to have five fingers on one hand, and I haven't even been able to count on one hand yet. Well, I'm only been there, I've only been here. What the point is. I haven't had more than five people that' said I couldn't help them, And that's what I love, you know, So we're gonna jump right in now. Somebody wrote this, y'all know, I hate it. I'm gonna tell y'all every episode. I hate when y'all right versus sending in voice notes because then
y'all don't know how a failed job. But y'all, y'all stories be so good. So I'll be trying to help y'all piece it together. Anyway, here we go. Hey, Jess, I love your show. So happy they're not deleting your podcast like they used to do us when we first started. Damn, now it's time to fix my mess. I've known Mark for sixteen year. Damn, bitch, youre just gonna say his name? Okay, all right, you've known Mark for sixteen years. I've always
loved this man. However, when we met sixteen years ago, I didn't think skinny dudes like thick girls like me, so I initiated a no strings attached relationship. Mm hmm, So you real quick, I'm going I'm gonna comment on that. You said, I didn't think skinny dudes like thick girls like me, so I initiated. I initiated a no strings
attached relationship. How you gonna thank for another man? First of all, you're gonna thank for another person, And you let the fact that you thought so much into what this man preference is, who didn't even tell you what his preference was, That you initiated a no strings attached relationship and you knew that's not what you wanted. Don't we bend over back with some stupidly foremen and don't even have to half the time because that nigga ain't
never tell her that all right. Over the years, life took us different ways, but I love this man, so every holiday, every birthday, every year, I would text or call him. Four kids later, on my end with a failed relationship, Mark came back into my life. Twenty twenty one. I did my normal Thanksgiving text and I was shocked. I received a phone call and we spoke for about two or three hours. I was excited, but I didn't expect anything of it. A month later, he calls and
asks if I could do his taxes. I'm sorry, that's funny as shit, girl. You first, can you do my taxes?
Girl?
Please? And now you notice that was his way back in if you really don't do taxes, if you ain't no damn accountant, and you don't work at Terble tax or for Turble text or nothing like that, that he only hit you. That was a segue into talking to you. He just wanted a reason to hit you, girl. I ain't axting nobody to do my damn Texas. Fuck that. I agreed, and next thing I know, he keeps coming
around every week every off daylight clockwork. I got to know a little bit more about him and loved everything about him. He made me feel safe and bought out my feminine energy that my ex took away from me. No, that you allowed your ex to take away from you. Can't nobody take your feminine energy. And I made a mistake. You didn't allow him to take it. You gave it to me. He couldn't have took that shit from you. That's a mind thing. You gotta change that mindset, change
up that narrative. Not that I need a man to get that out of me. Exactly. I'm glad you said that. Let me just read mama business. So after hanging for six months, he moved in. Oh all right, Yes, I opened my home to him, cause to live as high as hell, Okay, convenience and affordable. Now we have been living together for six months. So I asked him about us becoming official. Oh, y'all ain't even official a year where you just said y'all moved together because both of
y'all were struggling. Basically, he said no because he just came out of a relationship and that he isn't ready to make us official. That hurt but I felt we just continue to be us because we are indeed doing everything a couple would do. We got a house together, planning businesses together, and planning to go on trips. Y'all planning to do all that together. But he's still hurt from his last relationship. Girl, these jokes right themselves, ain't
no way all right. So he wants to treat you like a girlfriend, winding down you like a girlfriend, move in like a boyfriend, or a slash fiance husband or you know, full time father and all that. Y'all want a playhouse, but he don't want to give you the satisfaction of a title or making it official. Oh God, let me just finish. He helps with my kids and I love it. Just recently we spent Valentine's Jea together, had a blast five hour massages, a photo shoot, and
an expensive dinner. I popped up, question if he thinks we can make us official. He said no, because he not ready, And I'm like, what's the difference in what we're doing now that we can't make us official? Now? I'm lost and confused and scared, not sure if I should walk away or stick with him, because other than that one thing, there is no red flags. That's the only red flag you need.
Bo.
He's committed to me in a way. I don't see him cheating. It's just me, work and the children. I'm not sure what to do. After listening to a few podcast I figured I should just consider us as dating. Neither one of us want to lose this friendship we have developed. A friend of mine told me to just allow things to go the way it's going. But I'm an overthinker and this makes me feel like I must not be good enough for him. Just please help me with this mess. I want you to stop it right
now because you said something that I did not like. Girl. I want you to stop. I will pop your fingers like a little girl like I because you should never ever say but I'm an overthinker. No, you're not. Now there are such people as overthinkers, and yeah, but you're
not overthinking in the situation. And I hate that we constantly try to tiptoe around As women, we try to tiptoe around what we feel because we're not used to getting it, so it seems unusual for us, or we may be seen as doing too much because we really over like a person when it's not over liking. I just really fuck with you, my nigga. I really like you like you, know what I'm saying. Now. If you don't like me the same, that's on you. I can't control that. That's only for you to know whether you
like me back the same. That's only for you to show, and I'm gonna see it. I'm gonna feel it if you do. You feel when somebody fuck with you, You feel when somebody love you, and you feel when somebody don't. You feel when somebody is only fucking with you when it's convenient for them. Listen, As women, we feel everything,
whether we want to or not. We feel it. We're forced to feel shit sometimes and it we're forced to just sweep it under the rugs sometimes, and then we're forced to just keep on going and act like nothing it never fucking happened. You are not an overthinker. You like a man. You want something out of a man, and y'all been dealing with each other, fought too fucking long, in my opinion, for him to still be talking about No, it's still I just got out of something and it
will get the fuck out of my house. How about that? You can still be a friend from a distance. You ain't got to live with me. Get the fuck out of my house. I'm gonna say it like this, Well maybe you'll say it nicer, because that is your friend at the end of the day. Please remove yourself from my home. We cannot fuck like that, you know, unless you want to keep on fucking him or you know, having sex or whatever you want to do with this man. Yeah,
you know, because we have sexual needs as well. But he wouldn't have access to me like that. He wouldn't, I'm sorry. And then he didn't already been around your kids and all of that. I can only imagine what your kids think. This is my mom's boyfriend, right Because you said you don't see him cheating, you ain't need no relationship. So if you go cheat, that ain't cheating. And I think that's what he wants to be able to use. That's why he will not. He will not
tie you down, you know. That's why he won't lock you down. You won't just give it an official you know what, Let's go ahead and make this happen. He still got something that he don't want to miss. He thinking he gonna miss something out there. I'm telling you I've seen this a lot, and you ain't the first person with this story. You brought him around your fucking kids already. I don't know how old your babies are,
God bless them. You know what I'm saying. But I really feel like he too fucking close for comfort to not be your man. You understand, he's too built into your life. How the fuck you live with you? Is he paying bills? Is he going half on shit? You understand what I'm saying. Ain't none of this shit free?
Man?
If you ain't paying me with your love and some money, you better be giving me some fucking money. I don't give a fuck. Friends don't stay with friends for free all the time, especially if that what if my ass is struggling, If you're the friend that's struggling and I'm still trying to help you and I got my own kids, Nah, you want have to bounce, baby, so I do. Really, I advise you to don't walk, baby, run, put on
them fucking skates, and roll a fuck on out. Because I don't agree with mister man over there, and that's just that. I don't want you to keep me updated, keep me updated, bab, because that just pissed me off. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back and moving on. Oh we got an audio, very good. Here we go, yess.
I'm trying to send like fifty eleven voice messages and I don't know if I'm just coming off too nervous, but I got to kick it to you, like I feel like how I know you, And that might sound crazy, but just let me go off of what I'm makes me feel comfortable.
AnyWho.
My name is, Like I said, I've been living a board to move for twenty six years now.
I moved in.
Conkysville and I was probably one of fifty to sixty black kids out there. And I met someone from Philly. Her name is David and she was seventeen. She's three years older than me, and me and her Insley became like sisters. And during that time I met her younger cut and who is three years younger than me.
Her name is Brice.
Me and Day are close, like, that's my bitch, my sister right now, her contact has a heart with a key.
That's my bitch.
I am in love with my friend, like as a friendship love. I would die for this woman. Her kids are my nieces and nephew. I love this woman, okay, So there was always like.
A little cousin to me. I know the entire family.
I call their family how they call and present their family.
Grandma is grandma? You know, an't such and such? You know such and such anywhom. So we're very close.
So for the past maybe eight years consecutively, every day we have a group chat, and I named the group chat.
These holes are loyal.
Those are my bitches, Like we'll go to war, lay down my life for these bitches, all right. So you know, life gets serious, and it was just tough that we will, you know, see each other at sad events, funerals, things of that nature. But we will always come around for you know, good events as well.
You know baby Shad was graduations, such and such. We always saw.
Each other, but we as a three never really got to be you know, together and go out.
So we planned recently two weeks.
Ago to go out and we was gonna have some drinks and white marsh.
We up at the avenue. We spent two sixty three.
I'll never forget two sixty three or some fucking women shots lemon drops.
I'm a dark looking drinker.
Thank God I didn't drink it that day, but I'm still fucked up.
I took twenty one shots. I'll never forget.
God damn bitch.
In the midst of all of us were sitting there crying. We're talking about how much we love each.
Other's telling me, you know, I'm so happy you've been involved in our.
Family for so many years. You know, I love you like a cousin.
Like we're really like embracing sisterhood, loving each other. Everybody's complimenting our relationship, and we're.
Just having a wonderful fucking time. So and they backtracked for a second.
I have also a cousin named Bri. Both of our cousins, me and Dad. Both of our cousins gorgeous. Both birds are fucking gorgeous. They're both the same age. They never were in the same friends. I never questioned it. I just assumed, you know, they have different friends. So maybe about four years ago, because a party, a nineties party, so Bri says to me, I don't know why your cousin Bri doesn't like me. I didn't think anything of it, but when I sold it up, I mentioned something to my.
Breath about it, and my break is the sweetest person. She she don't.
Usually, you know, get wild, but if need be necessary, she would, And she said she knows why I do not like her.
She never cursed, never called out her name. She said.
I stepped to her when we were in high school asked her if she slept with my boyfriend.
She said no, and I left it alone and that was it.
Okay, So I'm just about to be everywhere and I'm so sorry.
You probably be like, you know what, fuck it shit ain't I ain't fucking miss Mitchell.
Nah you.
Okay?
So Cousin last year, me and Bria go out bar hopping, and in the midst of us bar hopping, I'm so drunk, and I.
I mean, I wouldn't okay, I'm so drunk. I look at birth. Damn, you look just like it's her aunt. And I said, damn, you don't even look like which is her mother. As I'm looking at you, you were just like I said, you know, i'd be funny.
It would be so funny if it's a family secret that is actually your mother, and that it was not. I didn't notice that she had got uncomfortable as I said it.
I did not. I was oblivious. I was drunk as hell. Wow.
He caused me the next day and said, why did you say that?
Although you didn't know.
Always speculated that it's really her mother because she always asked about her birth father and she never got any answers from me. So now I'm feeling like shit, this is something that I never knew. She doesn't know who her biological father is. She senses that her aunt is actually her mother. Like, these are things I never knew. If I had known that, I would have never said that out of my mouth.
And even he told me and she said, yeah, I've never.
Seen pictures of them pregnant and there was never a baby shower of for so I speculate the same that she could.
Be mother anyho. So after that happened, there was a shift.
Did treat me a lot different. She was a little snappy. She would say little jabs here and there, but I know the bitch has a smart ass mouth, so I would let shit slide. And also I knew because I impacted her away where she cried so bad, so I let little shit slide here and there. Okay, Now fast forward to two weeks ago, so we're all out drinking. After we're leeve, we're leaving, we're heading out, and she.
Said, you know what, it's just so crazy how that bitch doesn't like me.
And I said, we're bitch. She said, your cousin. I said, we're cousin, she said, and then that's when the fumes started, because why are you bringing out my cousin. It was no need for her to bring up my cousin. Nobody said anything about anyone and my family, So where did this come from? And now she's drunk and shit, So I'm okay, let's talk about this. I said, why are you bringing out my family? She was like, I just want you to know that. I was just, you know,
I was fing her in word. I don't say the N word. I was in word back then and I'm still fing him now.
And that's when I lost it.
Chest I mushed this bitch.
I took my shit off. I said, let's fight. We in the middle of White Marsh. I'm trying to fight this bitch. Wrong story short. I was embarrassed by my actions because I could have waited, so we was away from fucking White Marsh and we was actually somewhere else, and I could have beat the shit out this bitch, but my brain is sacred to me. Ten years ago, she was in a coma. Like I don't know what happened.
She was in a coma for six months. Out of the six months, I was at the hospital every night with her for five and a half months, and I had to go home because my girlfriend.
Was missing me. But anyway, during that time I was suicidal.
Saved my life just so when that situation happened with the other I was ready for war, and to this day.
I'm still ready for war because I.
Feel like I could never forgive for bringing up my cousin.
Unless I liked the bitch.
Yeah, so, as it was all.
Said and done, contacts me the following day and with a lengthy text state and that she was embarrassed by my actions. That is not a threat to me that I could have easily whipped as any other time. That she is a state official. If someone would have recorded that and posted the online, she could have lost her job. I get that, I get it, and one day I will apologize to that bitch for that part right there.
But are you checking your you know what? Okay? So just my question is what should I do now? What you savage, because I loved I love this, I love.
You death and I'm actually hurt and the fact that I don't speak to her anymore.
So would you, Savage? Like, what should I do? I'm everywhere, just I'm sorry.
You know what, girl, It's fine, It's okay, man, hold up, hold up. I know the ship getting good. But listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Listen. I see this. You're a very passionate person about your friendsy and family and people that you do love. And you're a very loyal
person too, you know what I'm saying. Sometimes we can be loyal to a fault, though, you get what I mean, because we're so loyal that we expect other people to be as loyal to us as we are to them. And I'm afraid that your friend she ain't like you. She cut from a different cloth. Obviously. Let me tell you something. What you did, you were not wrong for. Maybe you could have handled it another way, but you
reacted not inhumanely. You reacted naturally. When somebody is coming at your family and you close with your family, whether that's a friend or not. Nigga, it's my family, and then liquor was involved. Nothing happened that day that I didn't expect to happen, or that don't need to be expected. She lied about fucking the nigga, Well, she lied to your cousin back in high school priorce so she wouldn't get ass beat back then, and then end up getting
ass beat. Now, Yeah, that's what happened. When you lie and you be sneaky and you fuck somebody, you fuck on somebody's man, and when they come to you woman a woman, as cliche as that sounds, but when it comes to you and you lie about it, and then later on you want to get drunk and admit it. And I'm talking about brag about it. Bit you getting dragged, and you should not be dragged as the person who
dragged her ass by your fucking friend, by nobody. You did well within your right what you thought was right for your people's you know what I'm saying now, Like I said, it could have been handled another way, and I think it would have been handled diff if y'all wasn't drunk. Now, I don't even think Shorty would have came out and said that shit if she wasn't drunk, nobody just voluntarily wants an ass whooman and listen. If you know you god damn small and I can fold
you up with one hand. Bitch, you better learn how to talk to me. You better learn how to learn how to not talk shit, or go get us some self defense classes because your mouth can't like, your mouth gotta match your hands, you feel me. If you're a bitch with the hands, you gotta be a bitch with your mouth. You can't be the rock with your mouth, but Kevin Hart with the hands, like what the fuck? What are we doing here? What are we doing? It has to match up. If you know you can't fight,
shut the fuck up. It is what it is. Unless you got a hitter with you, you cannot run your mouth and just say anything you want to say. And then when somebody put their fucking hands on you, you go cry woof. And then you got people calling me
that's close to me. I honestly feel like because this hurts you so badly, because I can hear it in your voice, like this is your friend that is kind of not turning on you for this other bitch, but like kind of came at she was like, you're coming in defense of this bitch when I'm clearly telling you what happened. And yeah, don't you ever apol. She don't need no fucking apology. That bitch don't need no apology.
She knew she had that fucking job, she knew she was a state official when she told you, she fucked that bitch's nigga, and she's still fucking up to this day, fucking. I'm sorry not to call your cousin the bitch, but you know what I'm saying, she told you that she got what the fuck she asks for. It is what it is, because I know she didn't expect for you to start talking shit about your cousin where like the
fuck girl. And then that's not a big flex cause the who the fuck one day nigga from high school? Maybe that shit don't mean to and I'm still fucking them, okay. And I'm pretty sure your cousin is is somewhere with somebody else that's treating her right and not fucking another bitch behind her back. I mean, if he is, then okay, But I'm just saying your cousin John Dodge the big bullet because she ain't with that niggays and she ain't with that, nigga no more so it is what it is.
I really feel like you should reach out, reach back out to your friend. I think I should go somewhere quiet and come and talk about it and express your hurt. Don't make it about you want how to be your friend again or you want us to get back to it. I want us to get back though how he was and all that. No, express your hurt, but express it in a way so she can hear you. You know what I'm saying, and she can understand and she can listen. And it depends on her response. If she gets defensive,
you're not being a friend. You're not being a friend. She shouldn't make it about herself, you know. If she try to flip it, make it about yeah, but you, but you, that's not a friend. You and your friend has grown apart, and that happens too. I understand you love these girls, man, but like some people grow apart, some things are not important to others that are important to you, you know, And I always have a thing you know where I say, if you grow past your friends,
it is time to go your separate way. I'm not saying you can't fuck with them the more. Yeah, but you can love people from a distance. You just have to evolve. And if your friends ain't grown with you and evolving, not everybody don't evolve the same. But if they're not evolving or even following a path or you know, trying to better themselves, the goal is to always be better, you know what I'm saying in some type of way,
just personally for yourself as an individual. If they're not doing that, man, you got to leave some people sometimes. And to me, that friend was being very patty to call you and get on your case about beating that bitch up. So I want you to get back with me, and I need this update. I need this fucking update, all right. And I know I know you left so abruptly with your message, like because you had to. Like you a blunt baby, I'm about to go do the
same thing sometimes. That's that is our best therapy. That motherfucking gun jam all right. Just make sure you ain't smoking it out of a backwood, baby, because all heard
that fucks your skin up, all right. And we got some great melonin will needed to be touched and tampered with and all fucked up, and just like that we come to the end of yet another carefully reckless episode with Doctor Jess and I'll be fixing your mess each and every Wednesday, and then my deepest paying voice, Pea and Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts,