You Knew That Man Had a Girlfriend!

her house, her boyfriend came. She went outside to meet him. Keep in mind, it is dark. I didn't see his face, but I assumed he was cute by his cologne scent for some reason. Fast forward a few months later, I was at a party and there was this one kid there with his parents. He was talking some weird stuff and I was laughing. Then this boy walk up and

I was like, are you into those things? Jokingly? I don't remember what we spoke about, but after I remember him asking me if I had an Instagram and I said yes. He followed me and we talked for a good thirty minutes before I got bored and went home. I followed him back A couple of days after he texted me and I responded charming as hell, filled with sweet talk, and he was so nice, so we started dating. After our fourth time meeting up, somebody was like, what

kind of friend are you? I didn't know what he was talking about, so I pretended not to hear that. I noticed my friend that we're calling A not texting me nor talking to me when we've seen each other. All she do is me mug. A few days later, somebody told me that the boy was A's boyfriend. I was shocked and stopped talking to him. The only person I told was one of my friends from church. She would always talk me into dating him, even though we

both know about him having a girlfriend. I didn't listen to her well obviously. One day, as I was watching the boys, I g story. I saw him post the picture of my friend from church, and I was like, oh, when did that happen? Didn't pay it any mind, though. He came to my house and stood outside for a few nights, and I didn't respond until a few nights later. I got tired and went out there to him. He cried and told me A isn't who he thought she was, and no matter what, he's not going back to her.

I didn't care because I have it to say. That's my friend, so I don't care what he says. I tried talking to A, but she wouldn't talk to me when I called her. Then I saw a video of the boy and my friend from church making out. A couple of days after I saw A, she looked sick and I wanted to ask her if she was okay, but she kept walking. Turns out she was pregnant and it was by the boy, and there now together until this day. She still thinks that I know that it

was her BF, and still talked to him. We didn't even have sex. He did kiss me, though I know I'm not going to lie. That was wrong and I was falling for him, But right as I heard that was her man, I was gone, that's not me and I don't care about our friendship no. More so is why? So what the funk are you asking me, baby girl? Because it sounds like you wanted to tell me this story and the way you told this story. You want to pay yourself out to be a better person than

you may have been in this whole ordeal. Now you eighteen, so I'm gonna break it down to you in terms that you can understand. I know you knew that that was your home girl's boyfriend. I know because you told on yourself and the damn story, little girl. You told on yourself right here, you said, after our fourth time meeting up, somebody was like, what kind of friend are you? And I didn't know what he was talking about, so

I pretended not to hear. Then I noticed A not texting me or talking to me when we're seeing each other. All she do was mean mug A few days later, somebody told me that was the boy that A was going out with. I was shocked, and I stopped talking to him. And then you went on and said, the only person I told was my friend from church, and she would always talk me into dating him, even though we knew he had a girlfriend. I didn't listen to her.

So you told on yourself, baby girl, because you and the backstabb and church girl that Beyonce was talking about in the Damn Song ran back and told A that she was sucking with her. Man A stopped talking to you, and then the damn church girl when and started working with the boyfriend as well. So now the boyfriend then had all of y'all and a goddamn frenzy with A being first, I'm just call you be, you be, and didn't see for the church girl. I don't got time

for this all, y'all too damn young. Now we got A pregnant by this three time and nigg because he ain't two time, because it's three of y'all your ass. You knew that was A's boyfriend, And I'm gonna tell you another way that you snitched on your damn self. Baby. You remember his cologne that was the same goddamn colone had on all four times y'all met up. You ain't gonna tell me that you did not know that was A's bo a friend. Now, listen, you make mistakes. You're young,

y'all are children. This ship happens with your ages. Okay, some ship like this happened to me when I was sixteen. I didn't end up pregnant, and neither did the other girl who was my friend, who was working with a guy that I was working with. You know, we were in fucking high school. It happened. She's still one of my good friends till this day. It's just ship that

you do when you're young. I think you should still try to talk to a. I don't think you should give up on the friendship, So don't be hitting me talking about something. Yeah, I don't care about the friendship no more so. Yeah. No, you're and our girl with friends and you did her wrong. I think instead of trying to get her to respond, you should just apologize because you're not taking accountability for what you did, and you know you were wrong. And that fucking church girl

knew she was wrong too. Okay, and I don't even mean to be using church and in the A word in the same sentence, but she knew she was wrong as well. But it's starting with you, starts with yourself. You can't speak for church girl. Okay, you need to apologize. Go in apologizing. I don't care lose your pride. And I know it's hard to not be prideful at such a young age, because y'all always feel like somebody coming at y'all and y'all tough, and and you got to

prove a point, especially at your little age. Baby, put that product side, and even if you don't get your friend back, you still owe her a sincere apology. I mean, what I'm saying to you, Okay, I mean it. That's it. You are never to go around that nigga game. That is a's that is your friend's boyfriend and now baby father. Okay, that's a family now. Whether you like it or not, Whether the connection was strong between you and this young boy and not, y'a don't know, but no goddamn connections.

Y'all don't know about that. I ain't gonna say you don't know what love is, but you don't know about these connect actions that y'all got. No, y'all just a little horny ask people, little cute horny ass humans running around and ship and now Aidan got a damn baby and it better be his ship. If she was having sex with we just gonna call him D. Yeah, and she was having sex with D. She having sex with E, F and G. All right, but we're talking about you.

You have to fix the situation. Even if it's not fixed in a sense for y'all are friends, you still did something wrong that you need to take accountability for, apologize for, and move on. She doesn't want to accept you as a friend anymore, that's fine, that's on you. She has every reason not to. She had every reason to whoop your ass. To be honest with you, but I'm not going to encourage fighting because y'all already do it. All right, check back in with me, but get yourself

to gether a girl. There's so many little boys out here. Stop dating boys after your friends, all right, that's what we call leftovers? Should I ain't that old? I know y'all still call him that. Moving on, Hold, pull up. I noticed ship getting good. But listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Hey, Jess, Okay, so boom. I've been with my girl for five years, so we slid off the top.

Everything right now is good, no complaints, just regular relationship ship, you know. But the problem, I believe is me. I have super bad trust issues that it sometimes affects our relationship. And I really do love her and plan to be with her as long as time takes us. We've dealt with flirting type stuff, but nothing serious that would make me not trust her. I say I'm the problem because before her I used to be a real bad cheater.

Not proud, but it is what it is. So my question to you is, do you think my past actions will always affect my trust if you let it always affect your trust. Yes, the will. Yes, that's something that only you can control. Because I always tell my baby father, I'll tell Rome this all the time. I used to tell him this all the time. He is no only for me to tell him this now. I used to

have to tell him all the time. You know, all that cheat and you're doing on your significant other or your girlfriend, that is making you insecure as well, because if you can do this to a person that you're in a relationship and that you love so much and you have no reason to cheat. If you can do that, you're always gonna think it's going to be done to you because you can do it perfectly fine, and some

people will never see it that way. But people bring in securities on themselves a lot of times, not just others. You can cause insecurity within yourself yourself because it's something that he was always looking for. My son's father was always looking for something. And he could love you, and you could be most loyal to him, in love with him, be there, has every beck and call, everything, do everything right, and he'll still go cheat. He doesn't feel complete. It's

not the girl, just like in your situation. It was never the girl or in previous relationships. She said, you used to be really bad cheater and those relationships. It couldn't been the other girls. It was you who did it. Okay, So you are insecure because of the things that you've done to other people. It's true. It happens in marriages, not even just relationships and friendships. I had a friend who was always losing her friends all the time. It

was how she was treating her friends. You only want to use them when it's convenient for you. You only want to be around certain girls to talk about your other friends. The only one you know, she was very toxic and messy and friendships. That's why we're not friends anymore. And she had to see I bought it to her attention that it's not everybody else, it's you. The common denominator is always you. You're always losing people. It's you,

all right. You can take advice a r B, A stop dating, work on yourself, because you're always gonna have this problem if you don't recognize it. That's the answer to your question. But that's totally up to you. That starts with you. You have to realize that you're insecure because of yourself, because of the things that you've done. So that's a stop dating. B sit down with her

and have this conversation with her. If you haven't already yet, tell little work with you, because sometimes you'll have that person, depending on who you're with it they love you enough, they'll help you get through your insecurities. They'll help you become better as a person. They'll help you build a

solid foundation. That is where solidarity comes from. Being able to be your girlfriend's friend, being able to be your boyfriend's friend, because you know, that's the foundation the friendship. You can't just jump from strangers too now we're in love. No, it has to be a foundation built, Okay, And it's not always easy. It's not even easy in my relationship right now, my current relationship, me and Daniel are still building, just building. Yes the motherfucker from the show. Yeah, you know,

we're still building and that ship takes time. So A or B check, I can with me baby moving on, Okay, So I wanted to write in for this. I was with my ex on and off for like three years. I've realized recently she's not only a narcissist, but she's been using me for my energy, positivity, the fact that I'm stable on my own. So I left two things. One, she has a son that I've built a bond with and honestly loved this child like he's my own, and I don't know what to do about this aspect on

our break. And Two, every time we've broken up over the years, I've actively tried getting over her, and honestly, nobody has been able to fuck me like her. I'm moving on and I'm not about to get used now that I've seen it, plainly, but it's hard letting go of that fire as sex. You can leave my name out, and I'm from p G County and I'm out in Atlanta now, but I'm proud to see how far you've come and seeing somebody from back home get on like this,

even if Baltimore is a little different. It's all love to me. Oh, thank you all right. Now. She got back to the story eventually, because I was like girl, just telling me to damn story, thank you, all right, continuing with her story, just to give you some meat on the bones. I'm twenty nine and she's thirty one. We're both bisexual, but monogamous. When we're together and tested. Also,

she doesn't live with me. I moved down here from the DMV before COVID, and I have my own spot card, job, bills, everything, L O L. She's living with her mom and son. Her son is nine. I don't judge people for whatever situation they're in life. Plus, while we would be together, she would cash at me for everything in anything. I would go out my way for groceries, gas bills, whatever, So it was very hard to notice that she was

using me at all. Oh but she's very negative about herself and life sometimes, and I'm a genuinely positive person, so I started connecting the dots and noticing the bullshit. There you go. Plus, her mom is slightweight, homophobic, and hates me, even though I'm the best partner she's ever been with. So that was stress in itself. I know this is a lot my apology, but Jess, fix my mess. The relationship is over with and I'm done. But I think the relationship I have with her son is the

hardest part. Honestly. Oh man, Now I do understand that. I understand it's the relationship with the sun, but it's also all that fire ass sex that she was talking about that you mentioned frequently throughout that damn passage that I just read now. First and foremost, thank you so much for congratulating me and supporting me and always just being a day one. I thank you, babe. Back to your ass. Is so much fire sex out this motherfucker.

It's so much fire sex. Oh Yeah. What sticks out to me the most about this you said that she's negative about herself and in life period, that's work that she has to do on herself. You did the right thing. You picked up and you left. Now that little boy, all you can do is pray for him. I still would not even encourage that you still try to have a bond with him, because then that gives her a

reason to keep you attached to her. And she could very well use the fact that you're so close with her son to kind of manipulate you to be with her, or to still deal with her, or to still send her money and do things for her. Her and her mother got to get that together, because honestly, I'm just gonna go ahead and say it. The apple don't far far from the tree, all right. Yes, she was looking for someone to take care of her. Yeah, and she

just happened to have bomb Plussy and an unbelievably beautiful son. Beautiful. I can tell the way you speak of him that you do love him, but you have to get over that. And I'm very very sorry if it seems like I'm being harsh, you know, or in sensitive to your love for this baby. No, No, I'm not. What I love is that he's nine and he's not three. He understands these nine year olds these days. I have a ten year old. He understands. Listen, I've been in relationships. Ashton

has known every goddamn guy. When they leave, ash know how to cut it the fun off. Now that is not to say that that's right, but what's wrong. Let's talk about it. What's wrong with it? I feel, and a lot of people may disagree. My son has a right to know each and every man I call myself being in an official relationship with I don't give a funk if it was for relationships, all right. He knew a j he knew Chris, he knew Wayne, and he knows Daniel. And that is how the fund is gonna be.

If darn ain't then that got married. Whoever the funk I do marry ashe gonna know that one. That's the type of bond me and my son have. You will know each and every person that your mom calls a boyfriend. You will, now, Lord flings, No, you ain't even worth come around my son. A fling is just I'm using

you for one thing, baby, that's see it. But something serious. Yes, so a lot of people may disagree, and I'm okay with that, but that could be how she is with her child, because trust me, who her she is dealing with now or after you, her child is going to meet them too. So you have to cut that off. And the great thing about it is you're not in the same city anymore. It should be and I know it's easier sending done. It should be a lot easier for you because you don't have full access to her.

You can't just pull up on her and ship. You gotta get on the flight and her mom hating you and her mom being slightly homophobic. You ain't got to deal with that either, Okay, you don't have to deal with taking care of someone instead of building and taking care of each other, getting that solid work that you put in to be a family. I'm sorry, you're just gonna have to move on. That's just what it is. So basically, to fix your mess, all I'm doing is

confirming what you already told me. You already got all the tools. You laugh, you ain't there, she got the best sex. Whatever You're in. Atlanta's a whole bunch of game. Motherfucker's running around ready to get fun. Go ahead, take your pick ship all I'm fishing to see down there. I'm glad as you made it out too, and I'm gonna end it on that. And just like that, we've come to get the end of another carefully Reckless episode

where justice fixing your mess. Y'all tune in each and every Wednesday at seven a m. Also tuned into Reckless Discussions, which will air every Wednesday evening only on YouTube seven pm. Watch like subscribe, give your feedback if it's anything that you want us to talk about on Reckless or anything

you want me to speak on and carefully Reckless. Say, if there's a situation that you didn't even go through, but one of your friends have a situation, or somebody else that you know has a situation and you want to give them advice, write me about it. Everything is exclusively anonymous unless you beg me to say your name or sending a voice no, because Nigga's gonna to your voice. Because it's going on here and I can't disguis it. I can help, so send it in and in my

deepest pan voice. Piece Love Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.