Why You So Obsessed with Me?

three has dropped and is now streaming on Netflix. This is a show, right, A love show, A love twisted, dark romance and love show. Shout out to the main character, Penn Badgeley for two reasons. For one, he is from Baltimore, Maryland born race and for two, he is a phenomenal actor. Now You is about Joe Goldberg and his sick obsession

with love l o v E. He stalks women. He falls deeply, deeply in love with a woman and will kill for her, like literally kill for her, and that she will kill her too if she tries to leave crazy right now. He stalks these women before he falls deeply in love with them, and they don't know this. They don't find out about who Joe really is until they wake up in a glass box by the end of each season, unknowingly preparing for their death. Now, this is TV, and it's scripted, and it's sick, right, it's

sick entertainment, and it feels good to watch because it's TV. However, there are real people out here that are so obsessed with love and being in love and being obsessed with having someone so badly that it drives them to do violent things. That's a real obsession. That's a real disorder, right, It's called obsessive love disorder. It's a real thing. What

is obsessive love disorder? Okay, So the abbreviation is old obsessive love disorder, and the real definition is a condition where you become obsessed with one person you think you may be in love with. You might feel you need to protect your loved one obsessively or even become controlling of them as if they were a possession. Right now.

That is Joe Goldberg all day. Right now. I know a lot of you out there who are listening may know of a person or someone close to you, or even somebody that you had to deal with that was so madly obsessed with you. It's dangerous and That's why you gotta be careful who you fall in love with. You have to be careful to look at different signs and different advances people make and all that type of ship,

because there are men and women like that. And listen, while this has never been psychologically proven or you know, classified, and none of that type of ship, like, it's still real because this disorder stems off of mental health illnesses. You know what I'm saying. This ship come from deep rooted issues that you may have. And I have spoken

about deeply rooted issues and a lot of my previous episodes. Right, and if you've ever come in contact with the person with O l D, this is how you will be able to know that they have the obsessive love disorder. These are the some of their symptoms. They have an overwhelming attraction to a person, like seriously, like overwhelming text call if you don't call back right away, if you don't answer, they get upset you don't return the texts within thirty seconds, Oh it's more Texas coming? Or what

are you doing? Where are you? Constantly every day all day seven. It's obsession also obsessive thoughts about the person. You never know what they are thinking a lot of times in some of the episodes of You Right, Joe would be thinking about a female that he has to beat off anywhere that he is. He will have to go and handle his manhood anywhere he is, it doesn't matter. I remember last season, season two, he was obsessed with Love Love Quinn. That was just one of four women

that he's obsessed with over the whole series. Right prior to actually get with her, he was working at this grocery store. I think it was a grocery store. I'm

not sure if it was a grocery store. I haven't watched season two since like last year or whatever, but I think he was working in like a bakery or a grocery store or something like that, and he would go in the back and masturbate, like near the crates, like in the back, you know what I'm saying, Like we're stocking and all that ship is like where all the inventory is. You're beating off thinking about Love Quinn,

thinking about somebody and that that's her name. Love. That's obsessive thoughts about the person, seriously, and that's just one example of obsessive thoughts. Also feeling the need to protect the person you're in love with. Now, listen, it's nothing wrong with protecting who you love. That that goes a part of you being a man in a relationship and also being on me. You want to protect and provide. But when it becomes obsessive, it's a problem. I'm going

back to the show. This is all perfect reference for this topic in the show. I'm gonna go back to season one because I don't want to talk about season three because a lot of people haven't gotten a chance to watch it yet. Season one, when he was in love with beck one of her back. That was his first victim that we know of. He's done this ship before, but this was the first victim that we've seen him actually obsess over. She was dating this douche bag. Now, listen,

she was dating him. He wasn't dating her. She was his funck buddy, but how she felt about him was different. She wanted more. Right, Joe saw this. Now, she was already involved with this dude when Joe met her at the library. He met her in the library, Joe killed him. Joe fucking killed this guy to get him out of the way, just to eliminate this guy so Joe can make a move Everything is premeditated with this person. Everything is premeditated with a person who has obsessive love disorder

because they're very calculated. They think about everything before they do it. Even if you watch the show, you see Joe's thoughts narrate every episode because he's very calculated. He's a thinker, and he thinks a lot before he does ship. You'll see it. It's an amazing series, guys, fucking mind blowing. So he kills the guy now. Also, Beck has a best friend who is madly obsessed and in love with

her too, but not to the point that Joe is. Okay, she's just the best friend and she does not like Joe. She's very territorial, and she's a rich, snobby bitch. Right. Her name is Peach Beck's best friend. He kills her too. He kills her like I'm talking about now. He had good reason to not like these people, but just killing these people like there's no reason. And then one thing Joe knows how to do is to get rid of a fucking body and frame somebody else for a fucking murder.

He is so smart. Okay, that's Baltimore City, y'all. Nothing to be proud of. But it's acting, so it's great. But that brings me to him being such a sociopath. He does not feel. The only thing he feels is love, the love that he wants to feel, you know what I mean. Like he won't even feel for the person that he's killed because he only has one goal and one agenda, Beck or whoever he is in love with at the time, that's who I will kill anybody to

be with that person. If somebody is coming in the middle of us or standing in the way, I will kill And in his mind, it's protecting the person, but really no, it's not. Fucking sick and crazy obsessive love disorder, possessive thoughts and actions, listen extremely jealous over other interpersonal interactions. Going back to the best friend, Joe was territorial, so was the best friend, but Joe is a different type

of territory. I will kill you, bitch, if you keep on come around my bitch, I will kill you because she only needs to be around me. I'm the only one that can love her like this. I'm the only one that can be obsessed with her. I'm the only one that can protect her. I I I I I obsessive love disorder. Lastly, low self esteem. A lot of times people who struggle with obsessive love disorder have low self esteem. Another thing you have to know about people

with O l D. They don't like rejection. They don't take that ship easily. No no, no, no no, and this ship is crazy a lot. In a lot of cases, this symptoms coercing at the end of the relationship or if the other person rejects you, and these are other signs of the disorder. Repeated texas emails, phone calls to the other person that they're interested in, a constant need for reinsurance. Nigga, I love you, I love you, I love you every day Like they just need to know that,

like every day seven. They need to know that you're there. They need to know you love them back. They need to know you miss them. They need to know that that you miss them, that that I need you. They need to know. The need to feel needed by you is something else. Difficulty having friendships or maintain in contact with family members because of the obsession over one person, Like seriously, they don't even want your family getting too close to you. All that type of ship friends you've

had for years, That is a threat to them. People who have known you, people who know you more than that person, that's a threat to them. Monitoring the actions of another person. Listen, Joe would stalk every day, even after they became his girlfriend and ship, he will still stalk you to see what the you're doing, to see if you're giving anybody else your time. It doesn't even have to be cheating. I'm talking about giving anybody your time.

You can speak to the motherfucking postman, Joe gonna kill him, That's just what it is. That's obsessive love disorder. Also, controlling where the other person goes and the activities they engage in that ship is crazy. And then you got to think about why, why the fuck would a person

be this way? As I told you, As I mentioned early in the episode, it stems from other mental illnesses also how you came up your childhood like types of attachment disorders includes disinhibited social engagement disorder that's D s e D and reactive attachment disorder that's r a D. And they both developed during childhood from negative experiences and ship you know, like with your parents or other adult caregivers and the show you Joe's mother when he was

a kid. She was getting a boo. She was on drugs, but she was letting this guy beat on her and you know, do foul things to her in front of Joe, in front of her child, and he was just a kid. The guy even hurt him, and the mother didn't really do ship. So as a kid, his first body was his stepdad. He killed the guy, and the mother was so upset that he killed the guy. I guess you know, that was her get high buddy, that was That was her her guy at the end of the day, that

was her dude. She dropped her son off. After that, she went and dropped Joe off at an all boys shelter or something like that, like all boys group home, where he would constantly get fucking bullied. All he wanted was his mother to come get him, and he later on realized she was never coming. He would get bullied every fucking day because he was such a little boy. He was such a little little weakling, you know what I'm saying, Like, all he wanted was to go back

with his mother. So he held onto that ship after being in there for years and years and fucking years. He held on to the fact that his mother would come back. He held on to that notion, like she only dropped me off a little bit. She's coming back, you know. She dropped me off until she gets her ship together. That happens in real life a lot. She

never came back. In fact, when he got out of the group home where he experienced the out of fucking trauma childhood trauma even worse than before the ship that his mom had put him through, he's seen his mom again with another little boy. She had went on and had another fucking baby and started a new life without him. And he came up to her, even as a kid steal and was like, who is this? Why would you drop me off and tell me that you're coming back?

Why would you dropping Why would you drop me off? You know what the funk? I just had to go through. And then I come and find you with another little kid that you're loving, and you're looking all good. Now I'm talking about you look good like you look like you on your feet, bitch, and you didn't come back

and get me. And she looked Joe and his baby, little nine or ten year old eyes and said, I'm sorry, it wasn't you, It was me, But I can't take you because sometimes you just have to start over Joe without your fucking child, somebody that you gave birth to. So that's just the back story on why Joe Goldberg is fucked up. Hold up, hold up. I know the ship getting good, but listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen,

all right. So after that, he gets adopted by this fucking guy, this crazy, fucking guy who was locking him up in a glass cage, ring a bell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, locking him up, making him read books. Now listen. It never showed if he was raping Joe or whatever, whatever, whatever,

but it showed that that was still abusive. You know, you come from one abusive household and then you get thrown into this fucking group home where you're abused by your peers, and you know, but in the only person that that is there to comfort you is one other friend who was getting abused and a nurse who was getting abused, you know. So that's all he knew as

a kid. He grew up around a lot of abuse, a lot of abuse where he was being abused as well, right, So that's all he knows even in love, because he knows he wants to love, but he doesn't know how to. All he knows is abuse. That brings me to borderline personality disorder and borderline personnel city disorder can cause you to be extremely angry, too extremely happy with a matter of minutes or hours, Like it's crazy how you can

just switch. And a lot of people would refer to that as schizophrenia, but no, it's literally borderline personality disorder. All of that ship goes hand in hand, but they're still very different. At the same time, anxious and depressive episodes also occur. You know, you gotta think about it. When considering obsessive love disorder, personality disorders can cause switches between extreme love for a person to extreme disdain very quickly.

This is also obsessive compulsive disorder. Now listen, I know we're speaking about obsessive love disorder, but it stems from obsessive compulsive disorder. So this is o c D. I know if y'all have heard of this. It's a combination of obsessive thoughts and compulsive rituals. These are severe enough

to interfere with your everyday life. O c D can also cause you to need constant reassurance which we spoke about earlier, which can affect your relationships, your friendships, your bonds, everything, because you're so obsessed with everything. People who suffer from this disorder also can be very fucking delusional. So listen, I had a stalker. I still have a stalker. I know that he's listening right now. I've never seen this

person before in my life. Now listen. This is another reason why I can't open everybody's d M s and ship. So when people say I sent you a d M, listen, I see. I see a lot of d ms that I would love to respond to. However, that's a dangerous game. I don't know who's on the other end of that user name, you know, I don't know. You never know, right, he's a stalker. He's made fan pages, he's made fake

pages with no profile, picture, no post, no nothing. He has real pages like all types of pages, you know. And one day I had just responded to him. He was just very nice, and you know I would do that. It's kind of like fan appreciation. I'll just go through and the nicest d M s I will respond. I'll be like, oh, thank you so much for uplifting me, and this keeps me going. And this is very inspirational and blah blah blah. Right, I did that. He kept

sending messages. That's all he needed was for me to see that ship. Kept sending messages, kept making pages, kept sending me all types of ship, like sending me collages of myself, pictures that I have taken. I'm talking about sending me videos of myself. He knows everything about me, everything that there is to find out about me online, he knows like all of that. This is when I knew it was crazy. So I would like open his dams, but sometimes I would not respond. I would only respond

to like every fifty messages. Okay, fine, and listen. He was sending about a hundred a day. So I opened up one day and he was like, I saw you today down such and such and I was at that fucking place that fucking scared the ship out of me. Fucking sick. So now if I put two one two together, oh, this person is from my city. Scared as fuck. Okay, scared as fuck. So I immediately blocked that page. There was another one up within minutes, hitting me again. Oh

did I scare you? I'm so sorry. I haven't opened up a message since then, but I literally know who it is because I know how this person talks. He even nicknamed me, and I know that you guys would love to hear the nickname, but I will not tell you the nickname. He literally knows everything about me that there is to know on the Internet, that everything that I've put out there, everything you know. He knows what I drive, like all that ship that is fucking scary.

That is a stalker that is delusional. So let's get into the delusional part. He speaks to me as if we are together. He speaks to me as if I am his wife and that my son is his child, and that we're going to have another child. He speaks to me that like this is already like like Joe's thoughts and the show you because this is how Joe speaks about them in his mind. He replays constantly their life together, even when he doesn't even know the person,

like he imagines like he's delusional. Stalkers are delusional. People who have the obsessive love disorder are delusional. Okay, so that brings me to current event. Now we haven't done current events in a long time, but listen, this resonates with the topic today. Black woman stabbed and torture for four hours by colleague who had feelings for her, had to lie and say she shared similar feelings to save her own life. Now listen, that person was obsessed with her.

There was another woman who did that. An Asian woman did that ship to one of her black female colleagues whom she was obsessed with. Critically, she tortured this girl. Now listen. That brings me back to the beginning when I told y'all, although You is a show, it's real ship, that's a real disorder. Although Penn Badgeley is a phenomenal actor, that is really millions of people on this very fucking planet who do this ship who suffers with obsessive love disorder.

To save her own life, the lady had to act as if she felt the same way about the lady that was torturing her, her stalker, because in our reality, the people with O l D. I feel like if I can't have you, no one will, and you will not live. And just like that, we have come to the end of this carefully reckless episode with your girl Justice Larry's I want you to tune in next week. Also, be careful. Be careful, y'all, because it is a sick, cruel, obsessive,

fucking world out there. Happy October and I love you guys so much. Feel as Nice, Feel as carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from My heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.