Who's Your Daddy?

yours or somebody else's. But there are a lot of great dad's out here, So grab your t grabby holes, because it's story time now. Growing up, I had a family member right who did not know her real dad until she got older, she found him. He did never look for her, but she had someone who took her in as his own child. That was one of her siblings father. When he would come get my other cousins,

he would come get hurt. Although she was the only one who didn't have her real biological father and her life, he took her and he took care of her. He raised her, taught her about her periods, taught her about boys. I mean, because my mother was absent. So this family member kind of grew up without both biological parents, you know, in her life. But however, someone who wasn't even really her blood took her in I'm talking about, moved her

in with him and her siblings. He could have put her in a foster and he could have put her in a system, but he didn't want to break her up from her siblings just because her father didn't want her and the mother just was doing whatever. Now, this particular family member loves everything about family because she didn't really have a complete one growing up, so family means a lot to her now. They can go both ways.

You could either be generationally cursed and treat your kids the same way your parents treated you, or you can make something better. You can break the curse, break the chain, break the cycle, and do everything to give your child what you didn't have grown up. And that's exactly what my family member did and is doing still to this day. Fast forward, she has her child, beautiful little boy. His

dad and her are still together. She wanted it like that, That's why I took her so long to have a child. So she set out to find out who our real dad was. You know, she couldn't get the answers from my mother. So she set out to find and she found her other side of the family. And her real father died years ago, so she never got to meet him, never got to know him, but she see pictures and

she see now where she gets her looks from. And she talks to his side of the family and they tell her about him, and she realized how she relates to him in so many ways, and that she was is seeing this as a child. However, her siblings dad, the one that took her in as his own child, showed up to our baby shower. He was there the whole time up until he just died recently a year ago. And then you got to think about it. What makes

a father a father? So a father is someone who believes that by donating his sperm for your creation, that he has done his duty in life. You know what I mean. That's what a father is. A dad, however, is someone who gets up every day and does whatever he can to put a roof over your head, clothes on your back, food on the table, teach you life lessons, pick you up, dust you off, tell you to try again when you fail. To teach you that failure is not necessarily bad, that you need to go through trial

and error to get that victory. Sometimes a fail is a victory because you still tried. That's what a father is. You know. A dad is a good disciplinarian. You know, he allows his kids to make mistakes. He's open minded. He teaches his children appreciate things. He makes you earn things and makes you work for things. He gets you ready for the real world. The dad is a beautiful person to have in your life. A real dad, a good dad, spends quality time with his children. He leads

by example. He's supportive and super loyal. I love it. Having a dad is a beautiful thing. It's it's a major, a major attribute to your life. It's a major asset to your life. That's why I feel for the people who didn't grow up. Not sorry for y'all, but I just feel for you all because a lot of people who didn't grow up with their dad very well suffer to great lengths. It affects you as a father when you become a father, if you didn't have your father,

it affects you as a mother. If you didn't have your father growing up, it affects you greatly. It affects your relationships that's why I want to send a lot of love to the people who didn't grow up with a dad, and y'all had to find your own way, because it's a lot of y'all who are strong and who are strong enough to raise yourself without your dad. Now we got a commercial, and if you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. Now,

that's the beauty of having a dad. You don't need to be a person's biological father to be a good dad. And I learned that. I even learned that in my own dad. My dad raised boys around our neighborhood who didn't have fathers. I grew up West Baltimore, West Baltimore City. Now it was me and my brother for a long time before my little sister got here. My dad that the best he could do. He got up, he worked every damn day I'm talking about. He wasn't perfect in

his marriage, but he was a perfect damn dad. And that's what he implemented in my brother. That's what he implemented in the other guys that he raised around the neighborhood who are also good dad's. Now, because of my father, you know, and because of his guidance. He was there for those kids. My dad raised my cousins. I had an aunt who had eight children. Guard Rest her soul. She didn't have any of them. She just kept having kids,

but didn't take care of any of them. One of her sons and one of her daughters came to live with me, my mother, my father, and my brother. My father raised one of her boys and one of her girls. Until this day, my cousin's look at my father as a father figure, as their father. You know what I'm saying. They don't call him dad, they call him uncle Kevin. But still if they need anything, they call him. For

their weddings, he walked her down. My father has never been absent in my life, and I can honestly and truly say I was raised beautifully by my father. He did a great job. There was no wrong that my father could do in my eyes growing up. So fatherhood really really means a lot to me as it relates to me having a father and my dad showing me what fatherhood is to him. I asked my dad, I said,

what does fatherhood mean to you? Because I knew that I was gonna do this podcast episode, you know, leading up to Father's Day, and my dad answered very old school, my dad fifty years old. You know that's my best friend. Y'all know this about me if y'all are avid, just hilarious watchers and listeners, y'all know my dad means the world to me. I look just like a period. You know. That's where I get my handsome from. You know. He said, fatherhood to me is showing love and dedication. Boo Boom,

that's my nickname he called me. My mom calls me pumpkin. But this is about dad, so I'm Boo boo right now. He said, the best thing about being a dad is the pride and raising someone. Knowing that you raised a life, you chose to have a life, you and your brother were planned. Raising you and your brother to be a leader and support your own children made me the best teacher possible. Making my kids somebody made me somebody that

meant so much to me. When he said that, he doesn't know how that answer triggered some tears, because that's deep, you know. He said, making us somebody made him somebody. Men take pride in being dads, you know what I'm saying. And I feel like there's been this stigma put on black dad's, or they always leave. They never stay. They get you pregnant and they leave. They you know, they don't like paying their child support. They don't, you know.

But there are a lot of good dads out here, man, Seriously, all the good ones are overlooked because we got the deadbeat ones. I've been saying, a lot of dads stick up, you know. I have family members that went to court fighting and still are fighting for full custody of their children or joint custody. My family member who I said didn't have her her father, I commend her, and I commend the man who raised her. I commend her dad, not her biological father, her dad. She had three other siblings.

He took her in, he raised her. Now she's a good mother. She knows what to do because he told her ship that our mother didn't even teach her. I

love my black Dad's a love of all dads. But I'm telling you the reason why I'm singling out black dads, I'm subjecting the black dads is because of the stigma that they put on our dad's, our fathers, our black men, on all of them, when all of them are not bad and even the people who don't have their fathers anymore, who fathers are now deceased or or now resting in peace, but did a great job while they were here living on this earth. I'm giving a shout out to them

as well. And I'm sending love to you guys who don't have your dad's because I know you would give anything to have him back. I wake up and thank God for my father every day because when my family member lost her dad, she was lost. She was upset, but at least she knew what it was like to have a dad because when she found her real father, her biological dad's side of the family told her that he was deceased. She didn't really feel too sad about it because she had already grown up with the father.

But she still didn't want to leave this earth without knowing who her actual, illogical father was. And that's an amazing thing that she didn't let that destroy her finding out that her biological father was actually dead, because she had someone that raised her who was a father figure in her life. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. That brings me to just fix my mess, So I asked and honor a father's day. Life lessons your dad taught you

go and I'm just gonna read a couple off. A lot of them are funny, you know a lot of them are deep. You know, I'm gonna read a couple j Caimbria Chris on Instagram says, my dad taught me if all else fails, be with the nigga that love you, and not a nigga you love. It's something about that that I really really love. The nigga is throwing me off, but I love it because she put it cut and dry, straightforward. Be with the man that loves you and not a

man that you love. Now I know he means not a man that you only love, because love goes both ways. If that man loves you equally like you love him, loves you the same as you love him, I'm talking about you can't love him more. He can't love you any less than you love him. That's the one you choose.

I definitely get it. Can't being loved by himself. That's one of the greatest lessons that a dad could ever teach his daughter, because that means your dad taught you love already, so you don't have to go seek and and and and go beg for it from someone else. Giselle Milan x o x O says, always have your own money stashed the way in case of Nigga act dumb. Hey yo yo, you're funny is out all right? Just in case of Nigga act dumb. No, I get it.

I get it. That's teaching you stability and independence. And your dad did just that by telling you that. I hope you'll following these daddy lessons because they're they're good so far, okay. Stefan James says, you don't need a dad to be great. I agree, and then I don't agree. It depends on the person you are, the drive in you because, like I said earlier in the episode, a lot of people read themselves. A lot of people didn't have it voice because they didn't have fathers. They didn't

have dad's either. Everybody doesn't get that opportunity to have someone to guide them and to lead them. So I do second that you don't need a dad to be great, because my father didn't have a father and he wanted to make sure we did. Because he didn't. My dad raised himself and his little sister. Now my grandmother was present, you know, but she was an alcoholic, you know. You know, she was present, but then she wasn't and my dad stepped up and he took care of himself and his

little sister. So no, he did not have a father or a father figure for that matter. So I do agree. Moving on, Shimmy Coco says, my dad taught me not to tell anybody what I'm about to do. If I'm gonna leave a nigga, just leave. If I'm a snack a bit, just smack her. If I'm buying a car, just buy it. Ship like that, Oh, you're funniest ship. I don't even have nothing to say about that. Okay, just don't tell your left hand with your right hand on.

Don't tell, nor don't put nobody in your business because you may a jinks. I guess I don't know. But the fly plug Jeremiah on Instagram said, my dad taught me integrity. Great, that's amazing. To have integrity as a man is a very honorable thing. And for those who don't know just what integrity means, and there's nothing wrong with that, it's just the state of being whole and undivided. You know, the quality of being honest and having moral principles,

strong moral principles, you know, moral uprightness. That's integrity. That's what a man should always have. You know, if you lack integrity, work on it. But that's what fathers and still in their sons, that's what they implement, along with pride. You know, they both go hand and had. Young Mills said, the world ain't gonna love you like I love you. That's why I'm whooping your ass. Love my pops. That's like the ultimate dad phrase. Before you get your ass

with the world. Ain't gonna love you like I love you. That's why I'm whipping your ass. I love it. And I bet you are a great man to this day because your pops whipped your ass. A lot of us needed that ship. A lot of us needed that ship. My father never laid a hand on me, but he could look at me and put some base in that voice. And I was straating my ass up. I did not play with my father, you know. Piff and Wesson said, every man for themselves. Okay, your dad was a gangster,

all right, Okay, your dad taught you every man for himselves. Okay, okay, that's in the streets and business and in life period, every man for himself. I'll take it. Pokehon is underscore. Litchell said he wasn't around to teach me, but I learned to never let a man treat me the way he did. I love it. You took the high road

and you made a positive out of your negative. You chose to not let a man treat you the way your father treated you because you noticed that you didn't like that growing up, or you know, even as a grown woman, you noticed that you didn't have a strong upbringing as it relates to having a dad. I love that you taught yourself a lesson, baby girl. I'm very proud of you. Liquida Bailey says, there is always three sides to a story. Your side, their side, and the

truth is what my pop taught me amazing life lesson. See, that's why it's good to have a dad. They teach you awesome life lessons. Grants from d a O said, my dad taught me, if you come across, just marry her and keep getting her pregnant. One nigga, look by next any right playing with you only one? EBB says you are the prize. You don't have to give it up. Men gonna want you're regardless because you are absolutely stunning. I just want to say shout out to your daddy

for that. When your dad already tells you constantly that you're beautiful, you don't need to run behind a man to get that validation. That's another reason why we need our fathers and why it's important that they're in our lives and that they spend quality time with us so they can build our confidence so we don't lack confidence and self esteem. Last one, big one, underscore firstborn said, you don't have friends. You got family, and you have associates,

and when you fight, it's by any means necessary. Okay, I like it. I like it. Your dad was from the hood. He didn't give a funk. Look if you wanta smack a bit, smack a bit. I love that. Listen, those were all great responses. I want to give a shout out to some of the dads that show us more than often that they love their children. Shout out to Ocho Senko, Chad Johnson. Listen, he's great. He's a

great dad. He he does great with his girls. He shows us, he puts it out there on the internet all the time he does his baby girls hair, he hypes up his girls. I love it. He tells them that they are beautiful in their black skin. Um, their skin is like milk and butter. I love the way Ocho Sinko caters to his daughters. Okay, he's a great dad and you can tell that he loves being a father. Shout out to Ji Herbo. He loves his son with passion. Honey, he loves yo son and he loves his new baby

that he just had with Tina. So shout out to Je Herbo. Shout out to little Boosey. He is a disciplinarian. He is a good parent. Though he shows that he don't play with them boys. He makes sure he teaches his boys how to groom themselves and if they don't know, he grooms him that his damn self Boosey be combing their hair, fussing at cousin, asks out about their hair and their hygiene and how they present themselves and everything that is a good damn father. Shout out the Little

Boosey money bag yil always present. He shows us how much he loves all of his kids, although it's a lot of them. He shows us he's a great dad the baby. Now, y'all know, if it's anything the baby gonna do of it and knocking out, is gonna be spending time with his baby girl. Russell Wilson great father, a great father, and a great dad. He's a great dad to baby Future, and he's a great father to his own children, his own biological children. And I love

to see it. We love it. Little Future loves him, Seana loves him, that new little baby loves him. And they all look like he chewed them up. At them too, it's two biological ones. Look like he chewed them up and spit them straight out. Shout out to Russell Wilson fifty cents. It's like, no, y'all know, I gotta have some funny in somewhere. Moving on ice cube. Ice cube raised oh Shan Jackson to look just like his ads,

but to also embody so much grace. He's a good man, you can tell, and always been present in his baby boy's life. You know what I'm saying. That's amazing. Shout out to little Roll Howary, that's my man, comedian, little Rall. I've seen firsthand, personally, up close and personal, what a great father he is. He would have his children with him on set while he's working. He would still find time to spend with them in between, you know, shooting episodes and movies and and and tour life. You know,

like he's a great dad, great great dad. Kevin Hart another one. He's been showing us his his daddy duties and fatherly skills since before his second marriage. You know, when he would would bring his children on tour with him during his first marriage or whatever. Denzel Washington, his children does interviews and talk about how much of a great father he was still able to be even with his busy ass career shooting movie after movie, he was still a great dad. Shout out to Mike Epps, who

is having another baby. Look, Mike said, I don't care how old I get. I'm popping these seeds out. Shout out second Nick Cannon, great dad. I don't care what y'all say. He got a lot of kids by a lot of different women, but he takes care of each and every one of them, and it's all love with him and his children. I want to give a shout out to Kobe Bryant, who is not here anymore, but who was a great father. If you lost your father, and he was a great dad to you. Shout out

to you, and shout out to your father. Shout out to all the fathers who aren't here anymore who were great dads. Shout out to my son's dad, Jerome James, Lord, baby father, I love you, man. Couldn't have done it without you, obviously, I love you. And last but not least, shout out to my very own father, Kevin Moore. You raised me to be the best person I am right now. You raised me to be everything that you were and everything that you weren't. And because of you, I got

thick skin. Dad. Because of you, I'm handsome man, pretty nigga, and I love you. And every day that I wake up, I thank God that I still have you, y'all. I really really do. And just like that, I'm gonna ended Happy Father's Day to all the beautiful dad's out there. I commend you, keep stepping up, keep doing what you do, and tune in next week because we got a juicy

est episode next week. Happy Father's Day to all y'all, and then my deepest pain voice nice as Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts, from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.