Who Is She? (Pt. 1)

Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and the Black Effects.

Oh shit, just like that, we back on the air.

Welcome back to you had another carefully reckless episode with your girl, Jess.

Hilarious. What are we doing?

I'll be fixing mess and we got one. Listen my baby, my baby, I'm in here.

What say? Let's say what's up Taylor? You all say? What's up on my girl? What's she here?

Even more pregnant than she was two weeks ago? So she gonna be in and out y'all because she is annoyed as fuck. She got a little baby up in there?

What you have a girl?

Oh? Can we know? Yeah, I have a new boy.

She's having a little boy. So she's about to be a bit sorry talking about that. My god.

Boys make you so mean. In my opinion, I was mean when I was pregnant with ash.

I wasn't. Do you think I was mean when I was pregnant with Marley? No, I wasn't mean.

I didn't know.

Yeah, yeah, I wasn't mean. I just was like over everything.

I wasn't mean, though, I just was like, y'all getting on my motherfucking nerves all right, So we have a voice memo, y'all. It's the first one in a long time. I think it's the first one in season four that we had. I ain't have a voice memo since like season two, I think either way.

But let's get straight into it. Let me sing hey.

Girl, Hey, okay, es he picks my mess and you're gonna be like, what the fuck? It's not even mess, it's really pissed. Okay, it's really more borderline shit. Yeah, let me get it started, because I ain't trying to hold.

You, Okay.

So I'm gonna try to make a long story short. I am twenty seven, just turn twenty seven. My wishing mccollic because it's an ex but it's a washing mcgolic because I ain't go back.

One more time for a find a round of this disappointment.

Okay, So I'm twenty seven. My wish mccallage is thirty eight seven thirty nine this year. So we met when I was twenty four, turned in twenty five and a.

Couple of months.

I mean, everything was kind of perfect, Like we talked for a month before we like linked up. I was dating single for a year and a half, heavy on the self love. My confidence was how its fuck all time high, like bitches is working out, doing yoga, drawing, reading, writing, women, their breast life and shit. So I was dating, I wasn't exclusively like dating him.

So when I monthly got to know.

Each other, you know, we just kind of clicked more than the other guys, and the other guys were kind of more on my roster d for convenience and not just convenienced like there were good dudes. So you know, I wanted to see if more feelings could develop for me. So after that first link up, it was fucking history. We is going on days every weekend.

I eventually stopped.

Texting the other guys so much, and you know, about two months go by, and at this point, he is spending the night every night I'm talking about he's basically living here, like his game is here, he has close here, He comes right after work, it doesn't leaven, so he goes back to work. Like we're literally together all the fucking time, Like even on the weekends, he's there after work, he's there playing the game like just it's like we're

Are we not together? Relationship, which clearly it fucking was. So I'm like, look, if you want me to.

Be your girlfriend, you need to ask me a person not throwing off fucking text me as it is, which your drive before, which was a major red flag.

So you know, I'm the pype girl like hook every day.

So I'm backing him lunches with fruit, snacks, juice, whatever.

The fuck he likes, cute little notes.

He's also doing cute shit like appealing to my love languages.

You know, we go to the store together or whatever. He'll go have here. You know, he got me on my saying stuff for Christmas, which is the fuck he should.

I got him something as well, so you know shit's coming good.

But I'm kind of like at this point now, like, well, you know you're not. I'm playing these bills on.

All like, and that's kind of turning me off from you, because you know, I had a dude on my roster and send me money for the fucking hell of it. My asude dude on my roster was in the streets and this dude wasn't so I wasn't really tripping.

I'm like, I got a good dude, like you might be the nigga that I've been praying for.

So the date slowed down from every weekend every once in a while, the affection slowed down.

Everything slowed down.

So this is about month six, and I'm noticing these changes. I'm like, hey, like, you know, it's something wrong, like do we need to do something else to connect? You know, what are you missing? Because I've noticed changes in our relationship. So I noticed that, you know, we would go through my phone sometimes.

So I was scrolling through his Facebook one day and I saw.

This, I know, this this one girl and all of his like literally all of his fucking like all of them.

So I call him.

I'm like, hey, babe, I was just scrolling through your Facebook and I noticed this one girl and all of your li likes.

I was just wondering who it was, like, you know, who is it like?

And this is like, you know, he was scrolling through my Facebook, asked questions through my phone, asked questions.

So I didn't think it would be a problem.

He immediately gets defensive, like, that's my best friend. Weve been best friend since child, we grew up together. I'm not cutting her off like whoa dude relaxed like And that really blew me to cook back and was a major red flag because I literally have never asked him to cut any female friend off or came off as any type of insecure.

It was just like that shit blew me a back. So with Henry acting on.

All defensive and she you know, I'm like, that's your best friend, Like you know, why never made her?

Why have I never heard of her? Why you never brought her up? If I literally never stroke through your.

Facebook and asked who she was, I literally would have never knew about her, So be red flag right. So after that, he kind of started being like more private, like I don't you know, so I don't ask you questions, you don't ask me questions. It's just fucking crazy because the nigga asks questions all the times.

And then also he basically living at your house like basically once the nigga game is there, he moved the fucking so you trying to have your cake and needith too and I and I'm not really with that ship, so I definitely understand.

Yeah, but yeah, that's you.

You let him, You let him do a little bit too much, too fast, and he started getting he started smelling hisself as the black mothers would say, but I'm gonna let you finish. Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good. But listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.

So at this point, my mind is fixated when his best friend, Like, I am determined to figure out.

What the fuck he really got going on, because it's more than a defense thing.

So I go through his phone, can't find anything, so boom, fuck it. Like, you know, he's on Facebook, you know inboxing girls.

My getting replies. I'm like, you know what, I don't want to call my.

Fice insecure, even though if we're in a relationship, I do kind of find like I'm not inboxing niggas trying to get attention or response as hard I'm not heart I you know, motherfucking stories and sending it to the inbox hoping and respond like.

I'm not doing any of that. But I got to just let it go. My fault. So a few months go by and we're just we're not getting along.

I'm finding out that he's inconsistent, he's a liar. He is hiding shit, like literally, he is making me insecure by just he done did a whole one to eighty from the motherfucker he showed me in the beginning, Like he's not affectionate. We're not like that intimate as much anymore. Like where he used to want to talk like throughout the workday, like while he was working or whatever.

You know, he is not willing to do that anymore. So I'm like cool, like and my mom, I'm like, I'm gonna run through this nigga phone like fuck that. I'm want an ambitious I rather know.

Hold up, you given this ship a lot of posssion for you to be coming from the streets.

Remember you said you had this nigga, that nigga, this nigga, that nigga. You didn't got rid of the nigga that was paying your bills for this clown ass nigga. And you still like this one must have been the one that had you like ready to be on some exclusive ship.

And you you you hinted toward.

That earlier like seven minutes ago, and you also said you was gonna make this story short.

And I'm loving it.

Remember you said that you lie, honey, so I'm gonna let you finished. But yeah, this this seemed like you I'm, i'm, i'm, I'm, I'm gonna let you finish.

And to just be wondering like Beach just be talking about intuition. Well, Beach, my mother fucking insuition led me to look through this niggaphone.

So I find.

Messages with the X, you know, asking when can he come see her. She basically told his niggas she's busy until the next mother fucking year. Come to find out much later on that X was her or whatever. So fast forward, we have an argument.

He's mad at me. He sends me a.

Screenshot of text messages but with the name covered up and you know, the little drawing shit. So the message he's talking about a day and you know.

They've been trying to take each other.

Out on dates for months, and I'm just like, what the fuck? Like in for context, he was the type of nigga that overtalked me, you know, bring up pitches and how he got options, and he taught.

Me, are you.

He couldn't just sit down and have.

A conversation and be held accountable, So he couldn't have difficult conversations.

So he sends his screenshot.

So now I have said it on figuring out who the fuck was he.

Talking to an as green shot. I was talking about.

Dates and sidelines, and she's basically saying, you're trying to make me outsideline, and he basically said.

Back, no, you're trying to make me your sideline.

Fucking with so and so so anyway, girl, So I want to say, like for three months straight that I left him alone, he's calling me non stop, pulling up to my house, pulling up to my mom my house, like.

Pulling up with me, literally like stalking me. So me being.

Delusional and retarded. Oh my gosh, I am so sorry. If that offends anybody, just just beat that out or something, me being stupid and delusional.

I'm like, you know what this man is really fighting from my love?

He said, fucked up, And he never talked to truth about the sex message. He literally went from is my sister, who I used another phone to make that up just to make you jealous, like all types of shit.

Never told the truth about it, so I never know who it was at that point. This is long as fuck. Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.

Okay, So I'm just mean this all the way up fast far we get back together, why my dumb mess was doing good? I had a new bool like just the fucking stupid. Okay, So we get back together. So he's the same narcis assistic type.

Of man.

He's I'm thinking that, you know, maybe he'll be who he showed me in the beginning, but no, because he was probably never that nigga to begin with.

So fast forward.

I go through his phone a couple of months after we get back together. So you're not we had both agreed when we got back together. You know, we got a month to cut off any extra shit we got going on. This is three months after that conversation, and it's odd types of bitches, not even old bitches from the three months new bitches.

Okay, what the hell did you expect?

Baby girls?

Really fucked my head up place. I went through that phone for motherfucking teeth for tea. So in the screenshots, he had the message that it was in his pictures.

Kay yum, see why you should have left, girl? See do you see why you put up? You put up with a lot of shit.

From this nigga. Girl. I'm gonna keep reminding you.

Remember you you you left the nigga that was paying your bills for this nigga fuck talking about that was a red flag, and that was a red flag, and then that was a red flag and the bitch you just.

Was on a roller coaster.

You just went through it like there was nothing red flag, six flagshead.

Ass, like you didn't give a fuck. Ma'am. I'm gonna let you finish.

So now I am on a so so I find an iCloud and a phone number, and I go through all of their messages literally from the time before time, basically since the time we got together. So he has been flirting with, like linking with, you know, but from the messages aspar as I could tell, they hadn't fucked an intimate but clearly it's some type of.

Feelings and emotions there.

Its just something has prevented them from being together in a relationship or I don't know what it is.

Yeah, because that's they were best friends. They really started off his best friends and he probably always had a thing for her, but she, probably being his best friend, has seen how he's done bitches for.

Years and years and years, you including.

Being one of them, and she's like, nah, I don't trust you. I see how you move with bitches. So that's she loves her best friend too, but as much as she loves them, she damn sure ain't about to be one of his victims, you know, end up like your ass, So you know.

What I mean?

Like that, that's you gotta think about that when a best friend, when a female best friend is like hesitant to get with her her male best friend, but they do like each other more than likely that's why because she's seeing how he is with women.

She has two young kids, so.

I don't know. She doesn't adversity together her grown ass.

Age either, So it's probably a couple of factors.

Or first of all, how the fuck you going? Girl?

You write and think about your story. You're sitting here giving me this story where you are the fool.

In the circus.

You you are made out to be the clown in the circus. And how dare you speak on what this woman ain't got together in her life? She got that nigga that she was trying to get, She got that nigga that you thought was yours.

You know what I mean?

So I hate when women come at the other one month when it's really like, you know, when when y'all don't have to sometimes you gotta check a bit.

Sometimes you gotta.

You know, air a girl out every time, every now and then, you know what I'm saying. Arabit y'all, let pop out and show you know what I'm saying. But if you got your own shit going on, the last thing you need to be thinking about is somebody else not having their life together. Okay, now we got a commercial and if you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass.

Listen, so let's let me let you finish.

Top of She not this nigga ain't shit for real. So I'm going back to such a time before.

Time see other bitches. But what bother me the.

Most was her because you know, this kind of fucked up my views on best friends and platonic relationships between male and females. You know, so now as I move over dating, it's gonna be like, nigga, I don't want to be one of the bitches.

Blade ain't no friends like.

I need to see all the messages from the sign before time hang out with these bitch a couple of times with you see how she vibes around you, and just read the energy in the room.

Basically, this nigga fucked my head up with that.

So and it was just like you know, they was talking about sexual shit and how they love each other and how deeply they feel about each other and about marriage and being together and moving in together like all types of shit. So this is well after you know, we done got back together and that month, don't want boy where we're supposed to be cutting size.

With everyone, so.

I leave again and then I also what really fucked my hand up was because he knew I hadn't ran through that phone before and saw her and question d and tripped out about it, and that's why we broke up.

Ultimately, he saved her.

Number and another girl's number under male names, so I wouldn't really think twice to look through those messages, or if they called, I wouldn't think twice about why he wasn't going to answer. And what fucked me up was one of the names had been in there for like two whole years, and I literally have been seeing it for two whole years. And this is like literally the two years of the relationship.

So really what's.

Been holding me on was Yeah, I can't wait to hear that.

Thanks time.

If this it, like, damn nigga, like, you don't waste it two years in my twenties, I'm twenty seven.

Now I'm like in.

Love with you in the most toxic way ever, Like, and it's so hard to leave him, like these niggas kicked my door in multiple times because I blocked him for weeks since the last time I went through his phone, Like.

I just I really don't know what to do.

I need help getting away, staying away. I'm moving soon so that should make it better.

But yeah, and ROWN needs help, Like what how do I move on from this?

I feel stupid and brainwashed and stuck, but I'm ready.

Well, I'm glad that you said it, and I don't have to say it because I don't like calling women stupid. I don't like calling you know, because we've all been in predicaments like this. And why I can't say we've all because I know a few women that have not,

That's a whole other situation.

But yes, I've done that before, so I'm really I don't want to say that you're stupid, but what you just said, you know, you're giving him too much power talking about he wasted two years ago, Like if you wasted two years of your own life, you already know, you know, And I'm glad that you recognize that this ship is toxic, but you know, be that as it may.

This is your fault as well.

You let this man play you like a fucking fiddle, and that's why he kept doing it and got better at it with time, you know, and was doing it for so long by the time you found out about bitches. You you think he cared, You think he was gonna give a fuck. You chased him to no end. All he gotta do is chase you a little bit and that leads you on. I know, the dick cannot be that good. We got to stop obsessing over the dick and the time spending all of that shit.

Like that's like a crazy thing, ain't it.

Yes, I hate I hate girls.

It's like you gotta talk in the mic. I don't understand that though she was saying it because of the.

Dick, well, she was saying it was because the time spend. Now, Taylor has been in and out. So I'm gonna go I'm gonna go over your story. Okay, So she want to this nigga name is which I M call it. She want to call him that she's even though she's anonymous, she still wants him to remain anonymous as well. Now they've been dealing with each other for a total of

But that nigga was in the streets.

So it was like taking the good with the bedy paying your bills, but he also risking his life every day, you know what I mean.

Okay, so you did get that, all right?

Cool?

And her and the dude started talking, you know what I mean, like and she started liking him. He basically pulled her away from the other dudes, you know, just just I guess, whining and dining her and you know, just making her feel good. Basically, she was getting something from him that she wasn't getting from all the other niggas on the roster, right, So she left him alone, including the god who was paying the bills. She left him alone. I'm sorry I had to get leut on

That's right.

Yes, she go through the I mean go through the Facebook and realize, all right, you got a best friend, whie the fuck I never knew about her? But look, this is the thing. He started slowly but surely moving in her game. His game ended up over there, like clothes and stuff and that's the thing. Yeah, but because she stopped talking to the guy who's paying the bills, now she's paying everything by herself. This nigga never offered her nothing from the bills, but he started standing up

So that was the best friend exactly. This is what I said.

I feel like he's not with the best friend because the best friend probably see how he treat women, you know what I mean, and will never go there with him. I had the same situation, you know what I mean. I had a male best friend who wanted to go there with me. And as much as I loved my best friend, I'm like, Nigga, I see how you do bitches like I'm not about to be one of them, Like you got what four fucking baby mothers now and shit like I already got a baby father with four other baby mothers.

I'm not doing it, you know what I mean.

But yeah, either way, so I definitely understand where she coming from. And you know, but she let this nigga do this seat. She said he was a liar, he was inconsistent. She started seeing how with her. They ended up breaking up, and she looked she went She ended up, breaking up with the nigga, putting them out and all that type shit. God had gotten herself a whole new bull was like doing good. Then this nigga came back. She said, all right, we're gonna put everything on the table.

Back from years with other bitches and all that.

And then the best friend was in there, so it was a lot and she was like, she feels like and she still can't leave them alone. She asking me how she can leave him alone. And I ain't even let her finish the goddamn stories. It's three minutes and fifty other fucking seconds, yo. Shit, Yeah, that's a whole another episode. Oh lord, leve me.

I got to end this shit. She need to lead this nigga alone.

Then right, yeah, I don't feel like what else I feel like this is part one. We're gonna you know, we're gonna do. We're gonna make this a two part that's what we're gonna do. We're gonna make this a two parter, y'all. Y'all let me know, y'all jump in the Carefully Reckless podcast page and the dms are in the comments, and y'all let me know the advice that I should give this lady or y'all give her advice,