Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and the Black Effects, and just like that, we back on the air. Welcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with Sugar just hilarious. Listen, y'all, it's been a lot going on. For those who don't know, I actually had the pleasure of hosting Joscelyn's Caboet season four reunion. Y'all, y'all gotta get into it. Make sure if y'all don't got zoos, make sure y'all download. Yeah, sure, I have
to pay a prescription. It's like a subscription. Make sure y'all paid a suscription. Can watch y'all. Good old Sis host that reunion. It's something I've never ever done before. Now that this is the show where they be fighting, but it ain't like batties where you gotta fight to.
Be on it.
It's actually some good, enlightening shit like I'm proud of Joscelyn. I can't wait for y'all to see, because it's one thing that you expect about Jocelyn is to always see her beat the shit out of mind, and she actually shocked the fuck out of me. So I need y'all to go ahead and watch tune into that. That will be coming very soon, y'all. But we're gonna jump right
into fixing the mess now. This is the lady from a few episodes back that she called herself checking me, you know, because I didn't know the laws and I guess the rights of bisexual women per se, so she called herself checking me. I did tell her that I knew everything that she was telling me, and that that still didn't change what I thought or what I said to the woman that I was giving the advice to.
And this is what she has set back, because this was the woman that told me that she didn't even finish the whole episode because I basically I she didn't say I disgusted her, but she got upset so she couldn't even finish it. So how the fuck you're gonna come at me? You didn't even finish the fucking episode. But this is what she said. I haven't listened to it. This is my first time listening to it, just like it'll be y'all first time. So here we go, Jess. Hope your day has gone well.
Yes, ma'am, I'm just hitting you up today just for two reasons firstly, to thank you for listening to my last messages to you and responding to them, responding to me directly and using it and the fix my mess for last week.
It was very enlightening to be able to hear that. I didn't even know you would use it.
So I just wanted to thank you once again just for taking the time, well ya your day, to even respond, you know, and get back with me on that about how I was feeling about that particular topic. So I thank you so much for that first off. And then also you told me not to contact you again. But I'm just honestly quite glad that you didn't lock me, which I expected, just so that I could have this opportunity to reach back out to you, and thank you once again for listening.
I also want to I.
Ain't gonna block you, girl. No, I ain't say I was gonna block you. I did tell you don't reach back out to me, now, y'all. I did say that, now that there is audio of me saying that. But I was just so upset because I'm like, damn, how you gonna come at me? Hear and even finished listening to what I said, I don't give biased advice if I and if I felt like I don't know that much on a topic, one thing I ain't gonna do is stick my feet of my mouth because I don't know.
I don't know the ins and outs of everything that I'm asked, You know what I mean. But I only give advice on my own experience and my own wisdom, you know. So if it's anything I don't know, I will gladly tell you I can't help you, or it won't be on an episode because I'm not going to put your business out there if I can't advise you. So, yeah, this is also what she said.
I also want to issue a formal apology to you for offending you.
And I can't.
Clearly tell by your response to me directly and when you were doing the fix my mess that I clearly offended you by trying to critique your advice to someone else. And I also want to thank you for mirroring back to me how important word choice is when you're trying to convey something in a conversation, because I clearly now recognize let me using the term check you in the
beginning of the conversation. Yeah, definitely put everything in a more negative light and put you on the defense, rightfully, So just a little bit, just a little I feel like I definitely could have used the better term, because when I use the word check, I didn't mean that as in correction. I definitely did mean it as in.
Education or just to try to give you another perspective.
Yes, ma'am, see this is what grown women can do. I love this, Thank you girl, what I've seen done. Okay, one of her voice notes are not playing.
But actually listen to all of it.
It was about thirty four minutes, I believe, and stop when there was just nine minutes left. So when I got your response saying that I needed to listen to the rest of it, I want ahead and went back to it, and you know, it.
Picked right back up where it was and I realized, you know, it was just nine minutes left.
So the last part of what I heard was just you, you know, giving her more advice.
Then you did the you know in your.
Pam voice piece.
The next set of advertisements came on, and then that was the end of it. So I actually did get the whole bulk message and that whole session.
So my apologies for misquoting that as well.
I actually had listened to the majority of it before I would had applied.
Excuse me, replied, So.
I can hopefullyly understand how you thinking I only meant because of my misspeaking, You thinking that I had only listened to nine minutes and then trying to judge everything. I would have been off put by that as well, So I absolutely get it.
So I just wanted to correct.
That one point right there, right there, there you go with the jail right there.
And then to answer your question.
So you asked when what I mentioned being triggered, Let me also explain what I meant by that. I did not mean about that specific situation.
I meant in more general terms.
It just seems like in society today, in past and present, that US women get blamed for a lot that the men do and not a lot of accountability is placed on the man. There's a lot of double standards, I mean, and I know you see it. You see every day in social media, the different posts that come about different podcast conversations between opposite sexes. It just seems like women can never do right, you know what I'm saying, And that's what I was triggered by, not by this particular situation.
Just those double standards and how us women have to take so much on the chin and in my reality and my.
You know, I wonder why all her voice notes are not playing. Sister is frustrating me because she heard some good things to say.
So that's basically it.
I mean, there were some other things that you mentioned, but you did mention that you did not want to get into it back and forth, so I'm just gonna let those things go by the wayside. We can agree to disagree on this particular topic, but please know that it's not going to stop me from listening to your fix my message. I still love them. I still love
you and thank you for everything that you do. And please know I was not at all offended by anything that you said or anything thank you you said in response to me at all, not at all, thank you. I like to debate.
I've been on.
The debate team in schools and things like that, so that conversation, even though we weren't talking directly back and forth to one another, I felt like that what was going on, and that feeds me. So I wholeheartedly appreciated, never took offense to anything, and I still love you just the same, just the same. Last thing I want to say is and then I'll get off her because
I need to eat lunch. The last thing I want to say is you may not be aware, but I'm sure you can see my picture when I write you, I do look very youthful.
So I don't know.
Yes you do.
Responding to me as baby girl is meant in.
A oh no no.
But I'm actually a few years older than you, so I just wanted to point that out.
That's it.
But once again, Jess, you are awesome. Keep doing what you do, my sister. You are a voice for the people. I love your platform. I will continue to listen, and I hope you have a beautiful, blessed day.
Love. Okay, Hey mss ma'am. No, no, no, no, no, no, I literally call if you listen all the time like you say you do, I say baby, I call a lot of my women baby girl, just because I don't know the ages that you women are. Yes, you do look a lot youthful. You look you look very very youthful, and you're a photo very nice and curvy too. But yeah, you know, you know, little petite, slim little thing, but yeah,
you do look young. So that that's the only reason that I call you baby girl, not to be smart. I ain't one of those. To be a baby girl, a sweetie. Uh yea, no, not to be smart. No, I'm not. I literally wasn't. I do want to thank you, and I appreciate you being vulnerable enough to actually reach back out after me saying don't be you know, don't reach back out to me and all of that. I was just very upset because I was like, no, she
did not call herself checking me. Yes, it does put a negative connotation on things when you say things, so I'm checking you. You know what I mean. Just these days, wordplay is so it can mean so many different things. If you're not directly talking to a person one on one, anything can get misconstrued or missing turn or anything. When you're sending voice notes. So when you're sending text messages, like if you're not in the same like area as a person, if you're not talking one on one, she
can kind of get lost in translation. You know, people can assume things. I'm so happy that you were not offended by anything I said. I'm so happy that you did hit me back. Guys, I did send her a message that I did not preview you guys too, because I felt like that was for me and her and not for you guys. Basically, just you know, telling her that you know, I hurt my feelings. I ain't think that she you know, she critiqued me and came at me and all of that, you know, check me, But
she ain't listened to the whole thing. And and see, this is why communication is good as well. I didn't know that she listened to twenty one minutes of it. She didn't listen to nine minutes. I thought she said she listened to only nine minutes of it. So yes, but I appreciate you girl. Keep on going back and forth with me, and if you got any more mess for me to fix, let me know. Hold up, hold up, I noticed shit getting good. But listen to just a
couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen, all right. Moving on to the next story, here we go. Hey, Jess, am I wrong? So my best friend of fifteen years just got engaged and she asked me to be her maid of honor. I respectfully declined because I know that she's cheating on her now fiance and has no plans of stopping. Damn. I told her I can't support her nor attend the wedding. She said, if I don't come, it will raise red flags? Am I wrong? Or should
I stand my ground? M all right? So look check this out right. What I think is this is a very complex story, and this can tear you as a best friend and then as a woman, because as a woman, you standing on dignity, you standing on integrity, you standing on morals. You know what I'm saying, and what you believe in. What you believe is that when you're marrying somebody, you have to be faithful. And upon getting married, you're
you're writing your vows. This is a covenant, you know, of commitment that we're about to you know, signed before God. You know what I'm saying. Aka, this is a contract, nigga. You can't you can't fuck this up. Basically, and in God's eyes, this is a sacred contract, a covenant of commitment to be together forever, for better or for worse.
This bitch is already a how worse? God damn. So basically, your best friend is cheating on her husband, on her soon to be husband, who's now you know, her fiance. You don't want to attend the wedding because it goes against what you believe, which is you have to be faithful within your vowels, within your relationship, within your marriage. But you know she ain't gonna stop cheating, so you like, I don't. I don't even want to be a part of this shit. Hmmm. As a woman, you are doing
the right thing. As a best friend, you are doing the right thing. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. If it were me and my best friend was going up to be married and I knew she was cheating on her husband or her wife, you know, because my best friend is gay, I don't. I would say I'm not gonna lie. I wouldn't not be in the wedding just because my bond with my best friend trumps everything. Like it, I put my bond with her over everything. My best friend is
my girl, like that's my ride or die. And y'all know how much I hate that term, that phrase ride or god. No, this is my real life of a half type best friendshit. Like best friend is used very loosely these days. The term friend in general is used very loosely these days. I feel like to defined friend
that that gotta be. Man, you're confidant the person that tells you when you're wrong, the person that you run to for advice, the person that runs to you for advice, person that that loves you in and out, that loves you no matter what you got in your bank account, that loves you no matter what obstacles are throwing your way, and ship like that's that's a friend. That's a friend, And a person that holds you down man, no matter what you're going through. A person that spots you, that
can see when something is wrong. A person that doesn't ignore you, that sees you for who you are, no matter what what's going on, whether that's good or bad. They wish you in your times of ups as they're with you in your times of down. So that's what a friend is for me. That's what a That's what a best friend is that I just described. And her cheating on her fiance still would not make me decline
being her maid of honor at her wedding. Now, will there be a conversation put in place prior to the wedding and what I think she should do, what I feel she's up against, and how bad I feel as a woman standing up there knowing what you're doing knowing that you are already breaking your vows, knowing that you're up here living a fucking lie. You're living in sin before God and your wife and you know, and or husband.
Whatever that's gonna bother me, It's not gonna bother me to the point where I'm gonna say, I'm not gonna be in a wedding. But hmm, it will bother me a great deal, Yes it would. But she would definitely know how I feel before she walked down that out, you know what I'm saying, whether she still want to go with it or not, whether she gonna keep it real with her damn self or not. To be honest, I would object. I'm not gonna lie. I'm gonna be one of them to object. I Am not going to
not be there again. I want to stress this. I'm not gonna not stand there as I'm maid of honor. But what I'm going to do is tell her what the plan is. Look, I'm gonna stand up there with you. But if you let that preacher or pastor whoever or whoever is marrying you, guys, if you let him include that one little part where he say, speak now, will forever hold your peace. If you feel you know that these two shouldn't get married. I'm gonna say, Okay, listen,
I do I feel like they shouldn't. I feel like they shouldn't. I don't feel like they ready yet. And then the husband or the wife would be like, yes, I am, and then look at my best friend, like, why is your best friend stepping out of line saying this shit? And she gonna have to tell that nigga or tell that woman right there, because she knows something that the rest of you don't know. She knows something that you don't know. I'm cheating on you currently and
I didn't plan to stop. And so my best friend had a problem with that, and she's actually battling her morals standing here next to me today marrying you knowing damn well, I cheat and I'm not gonna stop. No, she may not say it like that shit. It ain't my place to tell him. It's definitely my place to object. It's your place to tell him. So yeah, while I'll be there with ringing bells, bright out and bushy tailed, supporting my girl, I'm going to give that objection. I
don't think that she's ready. I do not think that she's ready. And I'm sorry. If she choose to be like, I don't know what she's talking about, I'm ready. I'll be like, all right, that's fine, and then I will step back in line. So niggas, no niggas, could just try to stop the shit. So that way that the voice won't look so ugly, the voice won't look like it just came out of fucking nowhere because Jes tried
the warners. Period. Now we got a commercial, and if you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. Now, I know a lot of my listeners are going to be like, Jess is lying. She is not about to stand up there against our best friend and say no bullshit like that. And da da da da da da da, and said, listen, you shitting me, You shitting me? At solutely understand as a
best friend the position that you are put in. And I honestly feel like you should have a conversation with your girls, she says, she I don't want to, she don't, she ain't gonna stop, don't be in a wedding. I honestly feel like that I just gave you what I would do and what I would do would probably embarrass her much more, you know, embarrass her furthermore. But it's better to get that shit out the way then then later on break this man's heart over something that could
have been prevented, you know what I mean. I know the wedding is already probably paid for. She wants to have a cake and eat it too, and shit like that, and I know that. But you know, obviously you are a woman of deep morale, and you just don't. You don't. You don't like certain shit, you don't stand for certain shit. And I feel like as a woman, you're doing the right thing, and as a best friend you're doing an
even wrter thing. Just have that conversation. This may put a wedge, drop a wedge between you and your best friend, but when it's for the greater good and the bigger picture, I don't see anything wrong with that. And if it ain't gonna physically hurt you or mentally hurt you or emotionally hurt you to lose a friend for a little while, I say, shit, don't go, don't be in it, or you can go, just don't be in it, you know what I mean, But definitely tell her how the fuck
you feel. You definitely gotta tell her you can't just like say I don't want to be in a wedding and then she not know why, you know what I mean. Obviously she knows you have your reservations about this shit because you told me that. She said it would be raising red flags if you don't come. How the fuck would that be a red flag? To be honest with you, it'd just be me and my best friend fell out.
Has your best friend ever come close to her husband finding out that she cheating my fiance finding out that she's cheating? And is it with multiple men? Is this like a mistress type of thing? Like does she have an go on the side or just one main nigga on the side? You know, I need to know. Is she just I don't know, does the husband the fiance
have money? Is she marrying this nigga for security financial security and she just getting her little dick on the side, or you know, I need some more meat on the bone. I know you probably don't want your best friend to figure out that you're talking about her, but bababy, she probably already gonna know. You know, you brought this shit up to her obviously, and she's probably gonna know because
she's probably an avid, carefully reckless listener. I also can't help but to point out the fact that you said I am not the only person that you gave this story to, because you really are torn. You need to know. You want to know what you should do. Oh man, but that's that's what I think.
You should do.
Baby. Just be honest and just get back timmy. Tell me how the shit go. When is the wedding and shit, I might pop out and object. You never know if it don't if you don't want it to be you, how about you go and I go and shit. And then when they say, oh, if anybody objects, I can say object because I know that she cheating on this man and I don't want him to find out later. So better now or whatever? Does anybody else want to get married? So these people money don't go to waste
on these decorations. And then we'll see how that go. But just let me know, baby girl. And just like that, we have done this episode. We've come to the end of yet another carefully reckless with your girl just hilarious. And what I be doing, I'll be fixing mess like how I be doing. So if you got messed that
you want me to fix. Whether you want me to fix it on Carefully Reckless, on a Black Effect, shout out to I Heeart, or on Breakfast Club, make sure you hit me up in the Carefully Reckless podcast dm sending me a story now. You can send it via voice note, or you can type a long gas paragraph, but make sure you do punctuations correct, because if it's a long run on sentence, I ain't gonna read it. I'm getting tired of trying to fix y'all broken english
and shit broken literature. Ya want. I don't want my nigga to know my voice. Well, bitch, you need to go take a punctuation class. You need to go take an English class over and figure out how to write. If I gotta read it, your mess ain't gonna never get fixed. All right, it is what it is, and in my deepest pan voice, see you next week. Can'tfully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect.
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