(Tr)igger Warning

got mine and I'm sipping it as well. Get ready for story time. Now, Look, this topic is a never ending topic. It's never ending. It's always gonna be people arguing with it. It's always gonna be people debating around it. Okay, here it is now. When COVID first hit, we were forced to shut ourselves in the house. All I could do was think about filming, finding ways to be innovative, to keep y'all into my content, to keep y'all wanting more, to keep y'all wanting Jess Fine, creating new ways to

be funny. So I did a lot of filming. So one day, after wrapping up an episode, we all in the parking lot at the restaurant. Capitol Lounge is a black owned restaurant in one of the hoods of Baltimore City. We're all standing around having a conversation, laughing, kicking ship, cutting the ball, cracking on each other, whatever. So the videographer says, man, like, I told him, they can't stopped playing with me. Not only was he loud as ship when he said it, he blurted it out. What nobody

even talking to him? This is the thing. He's white. He's white. So that eventually turned my stomach sour. I didn't like it, but I ain't say ship. I looked at everybody else faces to see their reaction. Ain't nobody do shiit? Say? Ship looks stunned or nothing. That's okay, cool, So we continue with the comf station. Damn if he can't say it again. My man said, nyo, because niggas be wilding, And I said, nah yo, hold up, hold up, it's not really happen. So I stopped the conversation and

I pulled Joe to the side. Everybody else was relieve. I said, all right, y'all, see y'all later. Whatever. Whatever. I don't like embarrassing people. Now, I've been friends with this guy for like eight years, never heard him utter the word from his lips. But the fact that he was so comfortable, and the fact that he didn't even know why the hell I was pulling him to the side until I told him. Lets me know, you say this ship every day. He's not somebody that I hung

with every day. You know. I would just see him at the open mics and you know, at at the events that we would have, you know, surrounding comedy. But he's never said this ship to me or around me. So I'm shocked. I'm shocked the doodles, do you understand what I'm saying. So everybody else getting the call, they leave, I say, yo, let me I'll let you real quick. He said, what's that? What's up? I said, um, you said nigga twice and conversation we was having, I only said, Josh,

let me stop you. Look I was raised in the hood, like I said, or let me stop you. I don't give a fuck about it. Look at your skin. You're not black. I don't give a funk. If you was even raised in a black family, they should have taught you not to say the ship. I don't give a funk. I don't I don't care about none of that. The urban environment and once you grew up does not justify, does not solidify. It does not give you a pass to say nigga. And I don't ever want to hear

you say it again, just period. It offends me. And so you know you have a black friend, and you know for a fact that it offends your black friend to hear you say nigga. You should feel bad that ship should make you cringe, even coming up about your throat, to come through your mouth, to slip through your teeth. You should feel some type of way, because I do, and I'm telling you I do. He said, cool, Cool, that was it. So before we walked away, I said, listen,

you know I understand it. It's a habit for you and it's gonna be hard for you to stop saying it, but I want to help you stop saying it. Do you want to stop saying it? He said yes, yes, yes, because I see how it offends you. And I said, yeah, you don't know how many other people that it offends as well. But because people love you, they will beat around a bush or they will let you say it because they know you don't mean it in a derogatory sense.

They know that you're not calling us niggas. They know that, but it still makes them feel some type of way trusting me. I know I'm not the only black friend that you have that is offended by this ship. I'm quite frankly insulted, to say the fucking least. So every time you said you need to come up on five dollars, he said five. I was, I said five dollars? Do you wanted to be tend the fuck? He said no, No, No, I got you, I got you, all right. Cool. By the time it was all said and done, this guy

owed me three hundred and sixty five. That's ironically how many days are in a year. But he didn't say nigga once a day for a year. He crammed three hundred and sixty five niggas in like three weeks. So that's how much he owed me. Now, he only paid me like a hundred and sixty dollars. Now, he didn't have three sixty five to give me family. All right, cool, I get that. But at the while, this ship started to be like a game to him, and I didn't

like it. It was like, man, if I said, all I gotta do is give a five dollars and then should be all right. Nah, Nah, it's supposed to be a fucking goal. What the funk I'm gonna do with three sixty five dollars anyway? Ain't nothing to me, I understand, It's a lot of money to other people. It's even a lot of money to you, my nigga, because you still owe me the other half of it, so stop playing with me. But either way, I'm like, all right, cool, it's not about you giving me the money. It's about

you learning what the word means two black people. When you say it and you're not black, your damn self, and even to some black people want other black people say it, it's cringe worthy. You understand me, So listen, this was the last straw. I'm telling you. This is what did it for me. Hit face time me. One day we was going over some content. I wanted him to shoot something for me because I stopped letting them shoot from me and everything. You know, I really was like, no,

I can't. I can't funk with you, y'all. I can't funk with you. I used to until you get it through your thick, greasy head that I don't want to hear you say nigga. I don't want to hear it. We're on FaceTime, so I'm taking out my trash. He was like, Yo, you need a man. You're doing a man's job. I said, listen, I've been taking out my own trash for a while. I've been single for about three years. I'm good. I do everything on my own. He said, that's not what I was saying, negro. Hold up,

hold up. I don't think he understood how bad my blood was boiling. Do you understand you went from nigga to negro? What the funk makes you think that that was better to say? What the fuck? And what the fuck? If I was in your face, I was spitting it. Do you not know That's how I feel when I hear you say nigga to me? Do you not know that's how I felt hearing you called me a negro. I will spit in your face now, I'm gonna do

you want better? I would chew up something too bad gol Son and I don't even do that, and then spit it in your face. That's how offended and insulted I was by that. I said, let me tell you something, if I ever see you again in my life. And I got a guy with me, and oh no, I'm sorry, And I got a nigger with me. He gonna knock your bitch ass out. Believe that hung up on him, blocked him. Oh my god, he was so apologetic. He been hitting me ever since. This was like beginning of quarantine.

This guy has been hitting me ever since. He didn't understand the detriment, the pain, the severity behind that word. And we'll be right back after this. So that story time, and that brings me to carefully reckless discussion. Should we be the only ones allowed to say it? I'm kind of torn about that. I'm kind of torn about it because it should never be said. That goes back to how the world was created. It was created by white people. Nigger,

you know, nigger. It starts from nigger. They didn't only say nigger, though, they said nigga as well. If you go back and you watch some of these movies, if you if you go go talk to your great great grandmother, if you know, if they're still living a hope the hopefully they are, they can tell you they didn't always put the E R on it, they put they put an a on it. Because white people had slang back

then as well. They would say nigger, they would say nigga, they would say monkey, they would say a bunch of ship. That don't nobody want to hear a white person say today, whether you're cool with that motherfucker or not, whether you're just talking to me, whether he was raised in the hood or not, that does not solidify that ship. That does not justify the ship. You cannot talk to me like that. It's disrespectful, It's painful at the end of

the day. Now listen, I'm conflicted on whether black people should be the only ones allowed to say anyway, because that means we've adopted a word that was created by white people to heard us. Now, I say the word all the time. I say it. It's a habit. It wasn't taught in my household. My mother never uses nigga. My father can't stand the word. But as I was growing up I went to school, I would hear people say it. Friends on the block was saying. My brother

was said to his friends. It's a cultural word. Now we use it as cultural slang. It means yo, it means my homeboy. It means, you know, playfully, but we ain't playing when we heard come from another race. Now that and its own right, is hypocritical, but it eases the blow because we're black. I think that's wrong. However, it's habitual, you know, it's a habit. It's something that we've we've commonly adopted generationally. Honestly, I do believe that

we can stop. I do believe that we can create a movement to actually stop us from saying the word. That's only for people that want to stop saying the word. You know. I feel like a lot of white people feel like this, How the hell can y'all say it? But we can't say we made this? Shut up? And if we're not being rude to you guys, how to fuck can't y'all like, why can' I'll say that we can't say it. It's just the unspoken rule, don't fucking

say it, you know why, motherfucker? Because y'all wasn't using it like we use it. Y'all were using it to degrade a race of people. That's why dumbass it hurts coming from you guys, because y'all were trying to hurt us. This is what we're trying to get through to y'all. That's why it hurts, because it was created to hurt black people. I do believe we could put a movement in place to kind of stop even our race from saying it. It starts with the younger generation. It starts

with the children. Yes, I say it around Ashton, but I teach ash to do as I say and not as I do. I think it starts there. Ashton does not use the word nigger. In fact, my mother taught him, don't answer to it, don't say it to others. I love that. Now, if everyone did that with their kids, it could actually stop for generations to come. That's called

flushing it out. We could flush the word out teaching our children don't call it out to others and do not answer to it, because kids are the future of the world. They are and what they see they absorbed and if you squeeze the sponge at all comes back out. So if they never absorbed nigga, because it's taught not to be said, they won't ever have to regurgitate it. You understand what I'm saying, And that's real ship. Now,

how much power does the word actually have? I believe It has no power until it comes from another race, until it comes from white people. That's what gives the word power, because the word had power behind it back in slavery and even past slavery when things were still segregated. Even now, it's some black people that can't even just walk away after being called a nigga, or they're gonna be in jail because they're gonna knock the motherfucker out

now within reason, rightfully, so do that. That's how I would react if a white person called me a nigga. You know what I'm saying. I think when it's said between mean too black people, it doesn't hold power. It actually has like a camaraderie about it. That's my nigga right there. Uh man, nigga, You geeting nigga. Let me tell you what happened. Oh they my niggas. You feel me? That's playful slang. If you're my nigga, you might right to die. You you loyal? You know what I mean.

We've changed, we've altered the definition of what it is, and we made it our own word. You know. However, it wasn't birthed that way. The word nigga wasn't born to stand for that. Do you understand what I'm saying? So when I asked how much power does it actually hold? I believe when it comes from a race outside of our own, it holds power. And we don't like it. It makes us feel uncomfortable, it makes us cringe. But for me, it's especially white people especially. Absolutely, no white

person is supposed to be able to say nigga. I don't give a fun nigger, nigga whatever, it don't matter, no, none, none, And like I said, your environment of your upbringing still does not permit you to say it. I don't care. Now, Listen, rappers blast nigga in their music all the time. Now, I remember a couple of years back, Kodak Black was on stage and he bought one of his fans on stage.

A little boy was white. Now, he was rapping a song, rapping a song, and he did say nigga because there was a part in the song where Kodak said nigga. Kodak wasn't offended. You know what I'm saying that was that was a white kid. He wasn't a white man. He was a white kid. But listen, the reason why I feel like Kodak didn't get upset because they blasted this all over the blogs and all over the socials. The reason why I don't think that Kodak got mad and put the little boy off stage is because the

kid looked like he was about eleven. I don't think that that was taught to him in his household. You are not to say nigga, do not say it. And and obviously he likes black people. He probably has black friends because Kodak is one of his favorite rappers. The little boy went on to say, but I don't think it was taught to him not to say it, which is a problem in his household, not in him, because if he was taught that ship, he would have bleeped over it. That's just what it is. He would have

skipped right over the word and kept wrapping it. Now, a lot of people got mad at Kodak for not putting a little boy off the stage. I get it. He could have took him to the side and said, look, you don't say that. I don't. I don't know if you're being what you're being told at home, but nigga is a word that was created by your ancestors to degrade my ancestors. I don't think you should use the word. But then that little boy could have been like, then why do you say it in your music? So this,

this nigga ship is a very never ending topic. It's always gonna be debatable all the time because here you have a race of people that cannot stop saying it. That's us. Then you have a race of people who was confused and why they can't say it. But I don't understand how you can be so fucking clueless as to why you can't say the ship. You just can't. Don't worry about us saying it. You can't say it.

That's it. And then now we're gonna get into different races that take advantage of saying the word, like people got a problem with Cardi b saying it, and uh, you know, um six nine, Eric Amena send Santana people who are not black, people who are not African American. This is my thing. When people say no, Cardy black, Okay, Cardy black and something else. You understand what I'm saying. Recommenda, No, she she grew up a recommenda is not fully black.

Six nine ain't black at fucking order. Daniel is not black, sind Santana, I don't know what the funk she is. I know she like Hispanic, though I don't know what else she is if she's black at all. So what do we do. We're gonna police everybody that say it. We're gonna police all the Hispanics that come forth and be like, no, but but I'm but I am black. I'm black. Let's and I don't agree with you using the black card. I'd rather you just say listen, I

was born in the Bronx. All my friends were black, we were in the hood. Everything was predominantly black my whole life. Like I just I say it because that's I just grew up around everybody else who was saying it, So I so I'm saying it too. That's just it, point blank, Like, don't go on ancestry dot com and try to tell me your percentage of black and and justify why you can say the word h. That's not

It's not gonna work. But on another hand, that ship don't offend me when the women say that ship, when six nine say that ship, when when by racial motherfucker said, like, you know, when Hispanics not, that ship don't phase me like it phases me when a white motherfucker say it. You know what I'm saying. It doesn't. So we're gonna police all all the Hispanics and we're gonna police Cardi every time she said, we're going, We're going uh police six nine and all that. We we're gonna police them

every time. We're gonna cancel them every time. The motherfucker's gonna be canceled for life. It's in a vocabulary, no police the right. Motherfucker's. It's white people that still use it to this day and mean it and mean it not Oh no, that's that's my nigga. Man. Nigga's be tripping. Nah,

They use it and they mean it. We've seen instances where white people will get mad at a black person and say nigga just to hurt the black person because they can't beat us, because they can't fight, because they want to hit below the belt. They want to feel like they did something. So they're all white people that have used the word and then got that clown asses knocked the funk out and they would rather risk that to hurt us. They don't care get knocked out. That's

the lawsuit. Most of them do that just so we can get sent to jail. I think it should be a fucking charge you catch for calling a black person a nigga. That's what I think when it's used by a Caucasian. And then we got words we can say back in return, like cracker honky, hill Billy, the ship don't make them no motherfucking never mind. They don't care about that ship. They don't trust me, they don't care about cracker honky or did they don't care about it.

It hurts them more when we say when y'all get wet, y'all smell like dogs. That hurts them worse than us calling them crackers. And then what the fund is a honky? Like? Who the funk even invented that? That ship? I wouldn't I wouldn't be offended if they called me a honky. The fund is a honky? Hold up? Hold up, I know the ship getting good, but listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Then that brings me to just fix my mass.

So of course I went online and I asked my fans and followers how they felt about it, and I'm gonna read just a few of them off I said, how do you guys feel about the word nigga. Tell me about an experience you've encountered that ended badly. Go Davis Diva said, when an ex friend tested me, she was Asian, her BF was black, and their friend was white. We all were chilling in my car, so basically all were smoking. I get it. They told the white dude to say nigga around me to see how I would react.

I corrected his ass a sad. I said, you can say it anywhere else that's on you, but not in my car. Period. They didn't expect for me to care, so you did the right thing. But honestly, I would have slapped the ship out of my Asian friend and I would have slapped the ship out of her black boyfriend. I don't give a funk, and I would have slapped shot out the white boy to get the funk out

my car, because y'all tried me. And if you were my friend friend who dared the white boy to say it, you had to already have in your mind that that would have hurt my feelings because I'm black and I don't play that ship. So now all y'all get the funk out. But I see in the beginning you said when an ex friend tested me, And that's exactly what the funk. She need to stay an ex friend because that ship would have hurt me daily. But I'm telling me, I would have smacked shot out of all three of them.

They just would have had to jump me the funk out my car, walked and give me my goddamn blunt back. Thank you. Deeply rooted goddess says old head caught me a nigga in front of my kids, and I hit him with my car off his bike, and I know that's the funk, right. I would have done the same thing. But I hope you didn't go to jail for that ship. I hope you didn't. I would have sped off so fast that I was a getaway car but hit. His

answer is what you should have did. I don't give a funk, don't have a disrespect me in front of my child. Don't disrespect me period, but not in front of my children. That's not what we're gonna do. Trepedo Allen says, don't bother me, shrug emoji. Okay, Well that's good. That's very big of you. I totally understand. I know a lot of people, a lot of black people who the word don't bother. That's good. I'm still trying to learn how to be as unbothered as you, guys. That

takes a lot of patients. It takes a lot of endurance and tenacity to be able to not react to a white person call you a nigga, to let that ship roll off your back. You understand what I'm saying. Daja Kliss says, just recently told a guy that he had to wear mask at my job. He proceeded to tell me that he has a medical condition, which clearly he was just being an asshole. So I told him we will refuse his service if he does not put on a mask. So he called me a fucking nigger

as he walked out of the door. I just laughed because white people think that that is the worst insult to a person of color when I don't even look at it like that. He was the ignorant one, and you won't get a reaction out of me by calling me that, because that's exactly what they want. Sorry, bum I have too much to lose. Definitely been called worse. Oh and he got more mad when I started laughing shrugs.

I know that's right. I'm going to commend her on that level of maturity because honestly, she made him mad because she didn't get mad. I love that, make them just as mad as they try to make us. On the contrary, I would have jumped over that motherfucking counter so fast before he even parted weighs out the doors. His head would have been through that glass door. I don't even know if the door was glass, but I would have broke it whatever it was, with his fucking forehead. Now, Nigga, what,

nigga what? And more than likely I would have been fired and locked up and all that other ship. But it's just something about it. It's cringe e. It's cringe E. How can you ever say it? If you're not a real racist and you white? How the fund do you even feel right saying the ship out your mouth? Bro? That's not what you do. Kimmy Underscore Brown says, I hate it. It's associated with the level of ignorance that we should evolve from. Now. That's exactly what I was

saying earlier. That's what I was saying earlier, Kimmy, and I do understand, and I agree with you we should. That's what makes me so conflicted about using it but telling others that they can't use it. You understand, it's always gonna be ongoing, never ending, never ending, underscore, underscore anything it's possible, says. I was in eighth grade and bumped into a white girl and she called me a nigga,

and I beat her ask in first period. To my knowledge, I was the last nigga or black person period that she said that too, as you fucking should have, because I would have beat her ass in first period, second period, third period, and even after school on a goddamn school playground so everybody could see. I don't think it was I don't think it's playgrounds in middle school, but ship fuck it, I don't know. I would have been her

ass in the cafeteria at lunch. I would have beat her ass and pe and Jim so everybody can see how to beat her ass in music class with the clarinets. Don't you ever, in your dirty wet dog as life called me no nigga, bitch, And that's just that. That's how I feel about it. And there you have it. The most ongoing, never ending, debatable topic in life is always gonna be nigga that brings me to Carret news.

There isn't gonna be any current news because the most current news today is the word nigga because it's currently used by too many goddamn races. It's currently used by too many fucking people, including our own. Now I want to have a moment of silence. But the one and only, brilliant, brilliant rider, die rough Rider, d M Max. We lost him to what they say is a heart attack. So

many rumors were circulating this guy's death. You know, first they said it was O D. They said he O D. But I'm telling you, you know, this guy was just on drink champs a couple of weeks ago. He did not look like he was on drugs. He looked healthy. He the way he spoke, the way everything, I don't know. Man, We've known DM Max long enough to know, you know, when he high, you know what I'm saying, when he's on drugs, And I'm telling you, just didn't look like

he was. But when when they said that, oh e O DD, at first it was like okay, And then they said he had just got the vaccination, But then they said that he caught COVID. Then they said it was a heart attack. I just choose to believe the heart attack. I do not believe that the guy was on drugs. I don't even believe he had COVID. But that's just me. I love you all, just like y'all love me. On that note, we've done. Next week, I be up and at it again with another episode of

Carefully Reckless, and my energy will be high. I'm sorry, y'all, I don't feel well and no, I do not have COVID. I've tested negative seven times and I do not have it. Um, just keep me in your prayers and I will keep you all in minds. I love y'all. And then my best Pam voice, I'm still doing just you got your ass, nigger, Shut the fuck up. I've been out hit on my cash, sold you bout my hustle. I've been stop. I don't do no getting. Carefully Reckless is a production of I

Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from My Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.