Soul Ties

can help you. I think I can. But she sent in voice notes, which I want to tell you, guys, if you're listening, that's much easier than me reading your story, and it also adds more value to your story because then I get to hear the emotion through your story that you're telling me. So start sending voice notes if you want. If you don't want me to hear your voice, you can send texts. I mean, you know, you can

send messages. You can type it. But I think it's very interesting and I really love that she sent voice notes. She does not mind that I put her voice on my podcast. So she says, Okay, Jess, you already get you all a drink. This ship about to be crazy, Okay, Just so I'm also from the d n V area, so let's just get to us. So a little bit over a year ago, my head met this guy. We was both working at the same job. He worked the shift after me, so he would study coming in for

like a good three weeks. He would come in like twenty minutes early to sit there and talk to me. You know, he would just chop it up with me or whatever. So at first, I was like, you know, I don't really want to talk to him. I had just already got out of five year relationship, and I don't want to sound like it always seems like I need to be in a relationship because I love myself, but I just love the feeling of being loved by somebody else because I have so much love, Like I

have a lot of love to give. But anyway, I started talking to him, like we get serious fast. So I have two children and he has this one child. So during our relationship, his baby mother was toxic. She would call at two am for dick, which he never answered it. But it was still very toxic. You know, it's still disrespectful. Like I try to kind of stay out of it because they can't co parent for anything. So I didn't want to make it worse. But she's

very childish, she's very immature. They have a baby that's like not even three, so it's already still fresh emotion. Like I'm very aware, I'm not naive to people's feelings, Like I'm a human myself. I understand things. So you know, she would just do ignorant ship, ratchet ship. She in real bucket for real. So we're just dealing with that in our relationship, like everybody's rooting for us to win,

like we're a perfect couple. So about our tenth month in, remind you, we're only day for eleven months, almost a year. So our tenped month in, this girl has a child. It's a little boy. Come to find out, it is my boyfriend's and it is also his baby mother's cousin. And I'm not talking about a cousin on the line. I'm talking about like because I'm like, y'all got the same grandma at the end of the day, Like it's a big family, but y'all still cousins. So that was

a hard pill to swallow. So I felt like around like our last month together, like it really made me step away, Like it really made me step back, and like I understood, like what kind of man I had in front of me now, But it was like his consequences that was catching up to him. So like in our last month, I was transitioned more from a girlfriend into more of the friend because I felt like, you know, everybody has something to say. Everybody has a fucking opinion.

Everybody has to speak on something, whether it is or it's not. You know, if if it's writer, it's wrong. You know you should have never slept with that girl. But at the end of the day, that's something that you made that cannot be undone. So like it's really have driven us in between each other. But honestly, and nobody even knows this, my mom does. But I still

have been seeing him. He told me he haven't went back with them, but like he's moved away, but when he comes here, like I see him, I let him stay at my house. I fucking retwist his dreads for him for free, I make dinner for him, I do wife ship. But I heard that he was also sleeping with somebody close to my family. So and now it's like it's a vicious cycle going on. Like I kind of knew from day one, like maybe I should have

talked to him, but I gave up a chance. But now I was like, you're sleeping with my cousin, And it's just crazy because like he projects all his tendencies and his ways on the me, so it's like he don't understand, like he's telling on himself and I see it, Like and I asked me if he's sleeping with her. You know, people say a lot, but as you the man that I'm sleeping with, like you should be honest and be able to tell me the truth. But that cycle that you've been doing, you haven't been able to

be honest with anybody or yourself less be real. So now I'm kind of at the point like I'm tired to be in disrespect to Like I know, I don't hold him down to the world, like I know I'm not on broadcast that I see him, but I feel like it could be very detrimental to me if I said that, just in the sense that there's no loyalty with me for me when it comes to the situation, and it's like when he like writes me, it's like I'm always the one that steady talking about I miss you.

Where he's always just like I miss you too, but it's never that sentimental stuff that I'm getting out of him. And now I was like the text messages like they're so disrespectful, but it's hard and I don't know if anybody going to understand me. But like it's so ties evolve, like I feel like I need to block these, like I ain't never had a soul tie. And honestly, I've been in love a lot of times. I've been hurt a lot of times, but I never haven't had somebody

having so much emotion over me. Like it's just like able to channel my energy to trigger my energy like so fast, Like it's really soul times attached, like he probably know right now I write you on this podcast, like it's we're so entwined with each other, like our frequencies are so crazy in the spiritual room, but here on earth is fucked up, tough pill to swallow. I don't know, Joss, tell me what you think got should do.

I feel like I need to go see somebody like spiritual and just like have soul ties removed or I don't know if it's all over my head, but yeah, okay, so I'm gonna stop your message right there, because the last thing that you said is literally what I want to say to you, what I want you to keep repeating, repeating, repeating, because you make your reality what it's supposed to be, not him. You're giving him way too much power over you. But before I get there, Yes, this is all in

your head, baby, this ship is in your head. There is no way that you could be tied equally, yoked, tied together with a soul like that. You're not even getting loyalty reciprocated, like nothing that you do is reciprocated. As I sit and I kept my mouth shut for a long time. That's my third time listening to that. But I wanted to put it on the podcast, of course, because that is why you sent it here. Starting from the beginning, Baby mother calling him at two am for Dick,

you can't even blame her for that. You have him to blame for that, because she's still getting it. She never stopped getting it. They just not together, but she never stopped getting at Dick. That's why she is so comfortable calling him all times of night, all times of day, asking to be fucked. That's never gonna go away as long as he keeps fucking with her. Nobody's just doing that. Now. There are baby mother baby father relationships where this happens.

A woman is delusional and never gets over the guy and still tries her hand years and years down the damn line. However, this guy is still dealing with his baby mother. Okay, the daughter is three, she's still so young and precious. You even said it. There are still feelings there and you know that. But you are not one to judge. You're not one to just make that a deal breaker, although you need to. He's somewhat obligated to her, and he uses that as leverage to funk

with this girl. And that's why, whether she's a bucket or a ratchet bitch or a clown or not whatever bottom mother told him po as bitch, whatever she is, he gonna keep on fucking with her, so you can't even get angry with her. Moving on, you said we're the perfect couple. People are rooting for us. Just because someone is rooting for you does not mean that is

where you need to be. Just because you look like a perfect couple, just because the image is held up, just because he's mine and you sexy, just because the Dick is good. Just because y'all look good together does not make y'all a good couple. And I know that's exactly what you meant when you said people are rooting for you. Where the perfect couple? I bet these people that's doing all the rooting don't know what you just

told me. And when they hear this ship, they're going to take back all the roots today then put out there for y'all. All right, another baby, another baby? You just found out he had an eleven month old by his baby mother's cousin. You think you sold tied to somebody like that? No, seriously, you think there's a spiritual anything and that. No, you said it was a hard pill to swallow. Why did you swallow it? Why these are choices. These are choices that you can make or not.

You don't have control over your life right now. That's the problem. You put it in his hands. You should have never swallowed the pill. You don't have to. You also made it a point to say you transitioned from the girlfriend to the friend, but you didn't. It sounds good. That's what you may have wanted to do. That's what you should have done, and you know you should have

you actually shouldn't even be this motherfucker's friend. But you didn't make the transition because you later on went explaining that you still do wife ship for him, even after finding out that he even slept with your cousin. And damn, what kind of cousin is ship ship? We know the nick ain't no good because he damn show ain't a man. What the hell is your cousin thinking? That's another story

either way? Back on you hold up, hold up, I know the ship getting good, But listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial with you love me. You'll listen. You're still seeing them, and you're ashamed to let people know. And you know why. You're not gonna give me no bullshit talking about Oh, I don't care nobody thinking that. You know, people don't think what they want to think, and people, the the, the, the, no. People care about you. I don't even know you, and

I care about you. I care so much about you. Yes, I am judging your ass. I am, I am, and only God can judge. But people do it every day. It's natural, we do it. I'm judging you because you're better than this, You're smarter than this. You have to be because you're telling me everything that I'm telling you. You just still won't let it go. What needs to happen. He's lying. You don't want to tell anybody that you're seeing him because you're belittling yourself even being with him still,

because oh you with him. He ain't only with you, but you with him. He has your mind, he has your body, he has your heart. When somebody got your mind, that's different. Banks said, I ain't got time for lesl You know, made my dog walk out the room with this ship. Look he didn't got up and walked away. He has your mind. He has so much power over you. You said he doesn't know loyalty, but your excuse was he doesn't know how to be loyal to anyone. So

how the hell is that recipe for soul tie? How do you feel that you two are connected in the spiritual realm? You really need to tell me this. I want you to check back in with me. How do you feel you're not even his priority? You're not his first, second, or third priority. You know why because you've made it so easy for him to keep playing these fucking games

with you time after time after time. And then the way you the way you described it, it sounds like he doesn't even live in the same city as you. If you can't trust the nigga in the same house with you, you're never going to be able to trust him in the same city with you. Seriously, I want you to wake up, baby girl. You didn't tell me how old you were, but I can honestly tell that you're young. You're not a baby, but I can tell that you're still a young lady. You have a lot

of love to give, and I'm gonna correct you. In the beginning, you also said, I know it always seems like that I have to be in a relationship. No, no, no, it's totally fine. Baby. I'm the same way. I love myself to death, I do, but I love the feeling of someone else loving me as well. So I resonate with you when I hear you say that I'm always in a relationship. When the hell have y'all seen just single? I mean on stage, I'm single because you know I do a lot of stand up comedy material. You know

that's meant for the stage. So I'm single on stage when I step off, I'm a girlfriend. I haven't been in in successful relationships and then something that I have. I've been cheated on as well as I've been the cheater. You know, I've been lied to and I've lied to others. You date, you love being in relationships, it's nothing wrong with that. You've got some people that loves being single, love playing the field. You've got some people that just

love having sex with multiple people. You've got some people that just love having the roster of niggas that they just talked to, don't do nothing with, get money from. Then you got your people that love being in relationships. That's me, that's also my sister. My sister has been on this podcast plenty of times. We're open with our business so we can help people like you. Listen, this is not it because you have to sit and you have to think, what do you want? How do you feel?

You don't need to go see a professional to release you from him. You release your damn self. That's it. And I know I know you're saying, oh, it's easier said than done, it's easier said than done. It is, but if you keep saying it to yourself, you will do it. You have to put that in your atmosphere. You have to control your own reality, control your own reality, your own love life. You've never been through anything like this. I can tell girl, you sound all congested and ship.

Go blow your damn nose, look in the mirror and talk to yourself. You don't even need to do anything else from you making dinner, twisting this nigga Dred's and all of that. He didn't have a baby on you had a baby before. You keep sucking a mother fucked your cousin and you're talking about your soul tied. Get yourself together for real and check back. And you need to leave that ship. Leave it given a man power over you like that and heat a motherfucking bum. Yes

he is, he's a bum. You know what I was gonna tell you when you wrote me for this ship. Maybe you just needed to hear it from someone else. You needed to hear it from me or someone else. I get it. I see you, I feel you, and listen, I love you, just from sister to sister. Baby girl, I love you, and I'm gonna tell you who else is gonna love you. The right man out there waiting for you, not that nigga. There's gonna be a point in your life where somebody can't wait to talk to you.

Somebody can't wait to see you. Somebody can't wait to get home to you. Somebody can't wait to put a baby and you. Somebody can't wait to put a ring on your fucking finger. There's gonna be a time I'm telling you right now that ain't gonna be with him all right now when you meet the person that you're really gonna be so tit with. That don't mean that he's gonna be perfect either, but he damn sure ain't gonna be this nigga. So don't look for perfection. Obviously,

you ain't been looking for that ship. You've been looking for the bottom of the most bottom of sniggers. But work on yourself. Take a break because you are mentally drained. Some abou ch'all soul tide girl. He's sucking your soul. He is a soul sucker. That's why you feel like your soul is tied to him and we're we're operating on the same frequency. No, you're not, No, you're not somebody. He probably know that you're writing me for this podcast. Yeah,

he probably know, because he know everything about you. You don't know his next move. I guarantee you you don't. That's when you soul tied. When you can answer a question for a motherfucker, when you can think for another motherfucker that that's when you sold tied with somebody that's a soul mate. I can make decisions on behalf of my soul mate when he's not here that you can't do that with him. He can do that for you because you put everything in his hands. You've given him

everything to destroy you. And the only way somebody can destroy you is if you give them everything. And you've given them everything you, he has nothing else to ache from you. So he plays with that and he holds it over your head because you know you're gonna be there with your arms wide the funk open, understanding everything. Get your life together, seriously, your love life. That is not your whole life. But ship girl, check back in with me. Ship that's almost the whole damn podcast. I

can't believe that ship. I'm gonna do one more because she didn't took up all y'all's time, y'all, but she needed some fixing. I'm gonna read one more story than we out of here. Hey, Joss, I hope you're able to take this one huge fan of the podcast. Thank you, baby. I have a situation i'd like to get your opinion on. I've been with my man for a little over two years now, and he is amazing. We lived together and

he's a great step dad to my five year old son. Well, he has a best friend, white girl for contacts, that he's really close to. They've been friends for years, and she calls him brother. Once I came around, he introduced me to her and we were cool. But I have a gut feeling that she has a thing for him now that he's in a relation and ship. Nothing has happened thus far, but it's in my guts. Well, then

you're most likely right. I've asked him about it and he says that they've never had a thing and he would never go there with her. He's always telling me that she's looking for a rich man, even if he's married, et cetera. Am I wrong for feeling uneasy about this, even though he has reassured me should I bust this ship up? Thanks again for taking my dilemma. Love Love Love the podcast. Also, both him and I are black. I didn't mention that above, Okay, I mean I figured

that when you said his best friend was white. I mean, you would have told me that your boyfriend was white. Okay, So I really honestly don't feel like this is a really, really bad thing. Now. What can be happening is, yes, she has a thing for him, but he doesn't have a thing for her. I'm not trying to be, you know, one of them, but you know they love our men the white easy. Yes they do. That don't mean that he's attracted to her just because she's attracted to him.

She may have had a thing for him. No, I don't think that they've done anything. I think I don't think he would lie about it. Have you ever had a conversation with her? Just y'all too alone about the ship? Have you ever bought it up? I don't think you should go busting up and up, crazy ass. I don't. I think you should take your man's word, but I do think that you should also tell him again just

revisit the idea, but revisit it in a different way. Say, listen, I do believe you, and this is only if you do believe that. I believe you. Baby. I did ask you, did you have any previous intimate connections with your best friend or was it just strictly best friends for you? And I believed you when you told me no, But I don't think it's the same on her end. I

think that she has a thing for you. And although you tell me that she's looking for rich niggas and all that type of ship and married niggas and she just all out there and ship, I still want you to know that doesn't negate the fact that she still may have a thing for you her best friend, and she's probably so used to him being single or being in between relationships or whatever, she just may like him better when he's single. She may feel like she's closer

to having a chance or whatever. You can't blame him for that, though, and you didn't say that you did. I'm just letting you know you can't blame him for that. But I think you should sit down and have a conversation with him and tell him, Look, I want to talk to her, or I think that you used to keep an eye open her, or I'm just uncomfortable with the bitch being your best friend period, although she was

before me. I have a gut feeling, and when women have gut feelings, honey, we'll be right for the most part, all right, because I've been not and had some ship in my gut a couple of times, and I wasn't right about it, and even pieces of Dick honey, and I ain't been right. So um, I think that's just a communication thing, that's all, because you're very uneasy about it, and I think the only way that you can fix that is having a conversation with him and then having

a conversation word should. You said, y'all were cool enough, be cool enough to listen to my concerns and should about the closeness of you and my boyfriend. All right, And just like that, we are going to end this episode on that note. Oh my god, the first story

was crazy, y'all, wasn't it? Again? Like I said in the beginning, my baby girl in the beginning, she sent me voice notes if you don't want to type, or if it's too much to type, because I am getting so many essays, these got them stories are getting longer and longer, y'all. I wish y'all could just send me the voice notes. If y'all don't prefer to, I do understand, and I will read them therefore, okay, But if not, if it's easier if you don't care about anybody hearing

your voice on the podcast. Make sure you just go ahead and send on the voice notes. I will not let them know who you are. Everybody is going to remain anonymous again. I hope I am really fixing y'all's mess and tune in each and every Wednesday seven am on I Heart Media, Apple Podcasts, or whatever you find your podcasts and in my deepest pan voice clave M. Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and

The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.