Speaks to the planning.
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Welcome to Can't Beleeve Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effects, And just like that, we're back with yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl Jess hilarious.
What I'll be doing. I'll be fixing mess y'all.
We don't have any goddamn voice notes, y'all I SENDI me no goddamn voice notes, but y'all a sending me these long as paragraphs. Yes, I am going to keep complaining about it. You know why cause y'all don't care. Man, y'all y'all can't fucking spell, and y'all be talking about a bitch can't read.
Y'all can't spell the five. So that's why I be mad shit.
But anyway, we're gonna jump straight into it. I'm not in the studio today, so I don't have Taylor here to read with me or to help fix y'all mess. But we just go and jump into it, and it's gonna be me. Okay, here we go.
Hey, Jess.
So I have a friend that is going through relationship problems. She always confides in me because she knows I'm going to be honest with her and actually listen, you know, like a good friend is supposed to. Lately, things have been getting worse for her. Don't really want to say too much, but it has. I have given her all the advice I can, but she just runs back. It's starting to get a little annoying because she would also
get me involved. Like Jess, last week, we slashed this nigga tires, laughed my ass off, and by the next night they was laid back up like nothing ever happened. And then that following night she wanted to jump him in his sleep, which wasn't a good idea laughing my ass off and bitch, ain't none of this shit funny. Continuing My point is, I'm just tired of telling her the same thing and she goes right back to him.
So last night she called me to vent her usual and I told her before she even spoke, if we're gonna talk about the nigga, you might as well hang up, because I honestly don't want to hear it. She straight ignored me and started to proceed with her conversation. I got so irritated and said, your dumbass gonna go straight back, so why does it matter? Yes, that was harsh, but I'm fed up with it, Jess, and I don't take
your back either. We talk every morning on our way to work or at least text, but girl shanet reach out, not one time.
I get it.
She's probably upset and need some time because maybe she wasn't expecting that out of me. I just want my friend to wake up and realize she's worth so much more than this nigga.
Okay, so that's how it ended.
So I'm guessing you just want advice on advice that you can give to your friend to help her move on. Listen, it ain't gonna happen. She not gonna get tired and says she gets tired. You can get tired for somebody as much as you want. The inevitable thing about it is your friend not gonna be ready to let this man go until she's ready to let him go. No, I don't know who y'all are and everything, because I take it depending I give y'all advice depending on y'all age.
Now this shit sound young. It sounds like y'all are very young, and I totally get it. Let me say, because I remember I was doing this type shit when I first met Rome. That's the that's my baby ball, but the first baby ball I had, I was doing this type of shit with my cousin London, running around slashing her own tires, and well, roll ain't get a call until later on. So when he did get a call when he you know, wasn't traveling on his feet after a few years. Yes, I bust his windows flat
and hiss tires. I did all that, But I did all that shit in my early twenties, you know what I mean. Like I did a few things while I was pregnant too, but I was nineteen. So you gotta be young, like y'all got to be young and shit. And that's just the downside of it, right, because you want your friend, you want your friend to notice she that girl for sure, but if she not ready to give up on dude, and she's just not ready now, I think you should talk to her, like show her
her worth. You can't like come at her and say shit like your dumb ass gonna go right back, you know.
And that's why she not talking to you. I get it now.
Lately, I've been on my shit where I've been, you know, making the women take accountability and everything.
So you right on brand.
But listen, you can't help her go do this shit and then try to tell her lead a nigga alone. You was right there slashing the right tie and while she was slashing the other tie on the other side. You was right there over there jumping a nigga in his sleep with her. You know, you know you down, you there, you down the ride through whatever, through thick and thin. That's your homegirl. Yes, but you can't be the person that is indulging into the crime, because that's
what all it is. You just admitted a bunch of crimes that you've committed with your friend to me, So you can't be down to do all that shit and then you be the same you want turn her around trying to give her a fucking intervention or for intervention.
You know what I'm saying. The leader's nigga alone.
But I think what you should should do is instead of coming at her, you got to meet her where she at. You get what I'm saying, Like, you really have to be honest and just level with her, you know, speak life into her. Yeah, y'all are young, but you can do that, you know, help her see her worth. Not by coming at her for fucking with the nigga, you know what I mean, but more so just complimenting her, letting her know, girl, you are worth more than this shit.
Like you can get any nigga you want, friend, like take her out, let her show her a good girl's night out or whatever. You know, look, send a ass hold on the blind date, you know, do a twenty v one whatever. You know, the shit that y'all kids be doing, I'm just automatically assume that y'all youngest shit, because all of this behavior is youngest shit. It's very childish. Now, there are some adults that do shit like this too,
but very seldom. It's very seldom that you would see this come from a mature woman, like a person who knows her worth already, you know what I mean, a female who knows her worth, but like, yeah, meet her where she is and give her the best advice by showing her who she is.
You know what I mean? You know that that's saying that, oh, my friend is exactly who she thinks she is.
Oh, you know what I'm saying, Hype her up like that, show bitch, and she needs to always remember that if you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back show her ways like that.
Okay, that was pretty easy because I remember actually.
Going through shit like that, Like I remember doing that with my cousin.
Like we used to be the treacherous twins.
All right, I'm talking about popping up on niggas at these jobs. Come outside, come outside all that, right, rod shit, this shit ain't cool.
It's a bunch of toxicity.
She got to get that shit together before she gets older, you know what I mean? Because a lot of women, and it starts very young, think that's what love is like, if y'all ain't fighting, or if y'all ain't arguing, if you know, like a lot of that's that's a lot of women's love language. Like they think that that's cool. It's toxic, and that's probably all that they've seen, you know, whether that's growing up or whether that's just how they've seen relationship.
You know. However, whatever that may be. Hell, no, love.
Don't supposed to go like that. You ain't supposed to be busting on nig upside his head in his sleep. That ain't cool or cute, goofy asses.
Please don't do that. I don't like that.
But I want to talk about this story that somebody had called up to the breakfast club and asked me to fix their mess about. So it was this woman she had called up and she was saying that she's gay, and she deals with two women right now. Neither one of the girls know about each other. I'm gonna say girls, because they were young. She did tell me that she was twenty years old. She didn't tell me how old the two girls were that she was talking to. But she has two girls on a roster, right and they
don't know about each other. And now one of the girls she likes more than the other, so she wants the girl. She likes one of them more than the other, but she doesn't want to make that one her girlfriend because she's not ready to be committed. She's only twenty. She's testing the water, dating to see what she likes and everything like that. However, she is, you know, lesbian.
But she had heard out, I mean, she had heard from out in the streets that one of the girls that she deal with, right, the main one that she likes more than the other one, was out at like a bar or a club or restaurant or something, and she was, you know, there with another girl, and it had gotten back to her that they were very touchy philly. They was all up on each other and things like that. And somebody that knew that this girl was talking to her,
they told her. They took a picture and sent the picture to her and was like, damn, you know your girl out here. You know this is your girl. So she was calling up to tell me, I mean to ask me what she should do about it. Do I think that she should confront the girl about, you know, being out in public with somebody, like she's not dating
her too, or she just not say anything. And my advice to that was, let's just strip the age away from it, right, Okay, you just told me that you had two girls that you're talking to and you like one more than the other. However, you don't want to commit because that's something that that's just not something that you see yourself doing right now.
That's not something that you're ready for.
But in the same breath you're telling me, are you asking me rather advice on pulling up on your main girl, you know, the one one of your girls, confronting her about her being out with somebody else?
You got two of them. They don't even know about each other, you know what I mean.
That's the pot calling the kettle black and the black calling the well. You can't contradict yourself like that, Lady, shady, lady, that's crazy. She was like, I mean, I just I don't know, Jazz. I feel like I like her a lot, and I do want her more than I want the other one. I like both of them, but I just I love her like I love her more than I you know, I don't even love the other one. I just like her, but I love this one. Yeah, but you still don't. You don't love her enough to give
her a commitment. So how can you pull her up about something that she's doing outside of you when you've got somebody outside of her too. And the reason why I say I'm a stripped age away from it, because that's also what happens when you're older too. Like that has no age, that has no age.
On it, you know what I mean? Like men play games like that.
Women play games like that in their forties, in their fifties, god damn thirties, twenties, it don't matter. Like I dated a lot of different age groups, okay, And trust me, just because you're older does not mean you are mature and you got it all together because a lot of older people still want to be young, and so they still live in those days and he lives and they live in those times. They get stuck. It's like pre dementia, like nigga, No, like you, you getting stuck back there?
Grow the fuck up. I call them people, the stragglers, them older guys and older women who don't want to be their fucking age and act accordingly to their age. That's just what I want to say about that. And then, look, I know y'all probably get mad at this. I don't care. I said, you are twenty years old. You have a lot more life to live. You're gonna meet the lady of your life, and it may even be the man. A man might steal your heart.
You don't know. You don't know.
You're only twenty years old. You may be just curious right now. This gay lifestyle may be a phase for you. You may end up with a man with kids. I don't know if she was a stut or not, but when I said the man party sounded like she got a little bit more feminine, you know, so she might end up liking Dick later. Who knows, we're going back to it out of next or what our history was, you know what I mean?
Just too much.
But don't contradict yourselves, ladies. You know, and listen, mind you if you want to be the only one. You gotta treat people like you want to be fucking treated. I just saw something online where somebody had challenged that. I don't know if it was doctor Cheyenne Brian, I don't know. No, no, no, it wasn't doctor Brian. It wasn't doctor Brian about to throw something on this lady. And she didn't even say it. It was something else, somebody else,
but somebody disagree with that. Treat people like you want to be treated, you know, do unto people like you want to be done unto? You know what I'm saying, like I and I'm a firm believer in that. How the fuck I'm a cheat on you? Or I I'm being honest with you, like all right, I don't want to commitment, so you're not the only person I talk
to you. And mind you, she didn't even tell either one of her girls that they're not the only ones, like so they just thinking they're exclusively talking to this girl, like we're exclusively dating.
But no, you got two girls. How are you.
Going to lead like that but then get mad when somebody else pulling you on you? Cause she was out in public doing it, right, I guess that's that's what hurts. But it still doesn't change the fact.
Of the matter.
Is you you like this girl, you say, you say you love her, but you don't love her enough to be her girlfriend, to commit to her. That's some bullshit. I don't really like that myself. So that's the advice that I gave her, y'all.
Hold up, Hold up.
I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.
Listen.
I just want to clear something up also, right, So I did Club Shasha a couple weeks ago, right, And now this is the thing, of course, blugs grab, you know, just video clips and not even any context around the small clip that looks like it's meant to be one way, you know, but it's interpreted so differently and so negatively,
because that's what blogs like to do for clickbait. Right, So they're never going to grab the context around the subject that they were talking about, you know, I mean that they posted about, right, and they should do.
So I hate that. I used to love making the blogs.
I hate when I be I get butterflies in my stomach when somebody called me like yoh, you ain't say they posted on Shape Room or on Spiritual Word, or on Hollywood Unlocked or on the Neighborhood Talk or I'm like, no, Nigad didn't, Oh my god didn't on site shout out to Rashida Ali. Listen on site, they be getting the shit man, and I'd be like, no, please don't post
me on the motherfucking blogs. Should be crazy. That shit is exhausting, especially when somebody to pick what you said the wrong way because the blogs grab a few seconds.
So listen.
I sat down with Shannon Sharp and he was asking me about marriage. The topic was marriage, right, and I said, no marriage is perfect. I forget exactly how we got on Kirk and Rashida right is we were speaking about marriage and how no marriage is perfect, and a lot of people in the public I they like for their marriage to seem perfect, you know what I mean, when in all reality, you don't have to do that.
You know what I'm saying, you don't have to do that. It's okay.
I think I think the people win staying more relatable because don't nobody want to see a facade, you know what I mean, Because that's just not reality.
That's not real.
You know what I'm saying. That's why I ain't gonna lie. I love and respect, love and hip hop, Atlanta. The marriages on there that have lasted through the test of time now look in no way, shape or form what I want my husband to cheat on me and make a baby.
You know what I'm saying.
In no way, shape or form would I be Okay, I don't even think I would be able to get past Chris having a baby on me. I would not be able to just fathom even what the fuck that looks like, you know what I mean. No, But and I didn't say Kirk and Rashida have the perfect marriage, which Hollywood unlock quote it wrong.
I did not say that.
I said they put it in their caption that many headlines that I said, that's the perfect marriage.
To me.
No, I said, that's the perfect example of a marriage that has stood and went. They went through everything and they still are standing till this day. That's the perfect example of how strong a marriage can be when they have to endure shit coming from here.
There. They're they're, they're they're like.
Yo, even before Kirk had a baby, you know what I'm saying, which was not something that like he purposely did.
I'm not making excuses for this man, No I'm not. I'm just saying.
It's marriages that made it through worse than that. And I know you say it don't get no worse than having another baby. Oh yes, the fuck it does. I know women who've husbands have come out to them, okay, but they were saying that they were battling something. And I know why who have stayed and helped you know them through their healing process. It was a couple of seasons ago a woman had wrote me, right, and she said,
I've been married for umpteen years. I don't even know, you know, the umpteen is just, you know, it's a lot of years, a lot of years. And she was like, I was wondering why my husband don't look at me the same? Why why they you know, why he you know, I don't feel like he's attracted to me. Doesn't compliment me much anymore. He doesn't take me out. When he kisses me, it's no tongue. He just pecks me. Now,
it's like I'm growing to be unattractive in my husband's eyes. Right, And she said, so, I just went through his phone, didn't find anything. I went through his email, and I found out that he was seeing men, you know. But she said she dug a little deeper, and she also found out that he was seeing a therapist for this, right, and he didn't know how to come to his wife, so she approached him. And she was a very calm woman, by the way, because she didn't say she went off.
She didn't say she Janey Jackson, this nigga, remember, oh, you're doing depending how you marry a woman. Didn't turn a run to be gay, like. She ain't say she did that, you know, she said that the fact that she she.
Was going to do it, though.
Believe that because I remember her telling me like, oh, I was about to go off until I dug a little deeper and I saw that he was actually seeking some type of counsel for this, like he was actually going to therapy for this.
And she ended up staying with her husband. Long story short, like, she ended up staying with.
This man, like you know, it bothered her, And as much as it bothered her, she didn't want to give up on her husband. She was with him for umpteen years. And what I say, I'm teen, I think I don't I think it was definitely more than ten years. She had kids with him, you know what I'm saying, Like they had businesses together and all that type of shit real estate, Like they had companies that they had built
from ground up together. She had known this man since teenagers, you know what I mean, since they were teenagers, and he did tell her when when confronting him, he don't know why he had these feelings. He's been having them since a teenager. But he's done a better job when he was younger of burying them and not acting on his feelings, you know what I mean.
Like he but.
As the older that he got his curiosity like grew,
you know, and he was already married. They married young, you know, and he had been just talking to them, and he did tell his wife he's never slept with a man, but that's why, you know, he had those urges like he wanted to so that's why he went to therapy, and his therapist then referred him to a psychologist or something, a psyche psychiatrist or a psychologist, which are two different things, by the way, But and I don't know the differ, like the critical difference, I don't
know the concrete difference. But I do know that there is a difference between a psychiatrist and a psychologist, and he got all the help that he needed. And she hasn't updated me or anything, but she was just saying that he wanted to be better, he didn't want to have these feelings, and that he was willing to go through any type of you know, willing to go to any extreme to get this out of his system or whatever.
And she said she was going to stick by her man and stag wiham you know what I'm saying, and just being vulnerable enough to expose that to me, in which she said, anonymous, you know what I mean. She said she didn't have many friends to talk to about it.
She didn't want to talk to a lot of people about it because she didn't want to be judged because it's a real, very it was a very real thing, and the first thing you would do when you think about that type shit, you know, when a man is battling something like that, you are straight to oh, but you better leave him, because yeah, once you gay, you always gay, and all that type shit. But he expressed to her that he didn't want to have those feelings, you know, I mean, like it was different for them.
So that also, I would say, is a marriage a perfect example of a marriage that can stand the test of time, that can go through anything. I did not say that is a marriage that I would want to be in. I didn't say that that is a marriage I glorify. But I did say that's the perfect example. I'm gonna say it for the people in the back, open your motherucking ears. That is a perfect example of
two people that can get through anything. Okay, Now, no, Kirk didn't have to have a baby or Rashida to prove how strong their marriage is.
You know what I'm saying. No, he didn't.
But he didn't do that on purpose either. Shit happens. It is what it is, you know what I'm saying. And then another thing I made clear when I was sitting down with Shannon Sharp is they married very early. So did my parents. And YO, when you married straight out of high school, when you get married like right, you know, in college and shit like when you're twenty one, early twenties and you've been knowing this this motherfucker since you know.
You get married to.
Your middle school sweetheart, you high school sweetheart, your college sweetheart, whatever you got to think about it, y'all right out of fucking school, y'all are still growing up.
So y'all growing up together. You grew up with this person.
You never got to live out your bachelorette days. You never got to live out your bachelor life, you know what I'm saying. Like you didn't get to go and smash all these holes and you know, go through the roster or women like you don't get to do You didn't get to do that like my dad. My dad married my mom right out of high school before you went to the Marines, you know what I mean. So paid that plays a big part in the infidelity when you are with one person from a teenager on up.
You know what I mean. So shit happens, man, And look, life be lifing, and life don't have no manual, no rule book.
You know, whatever aligns with you, whatever is compatible with you, you go with that. Sh It ain't as traditional as it used to be, you know what I'm saying. And look, y'all still woul't disagree with me. But how many couples have we made our couple's goals and then later on we found out that couples were struggling.
That couple was struggling.
Look at Will and Jada had no idea about the entanglemental august Alsinas did. We We didn't know anything about that. Look at the jay Z and Beyonce. That was everybody. You know what I'm saying, And it still may be some people's goals, but look like we would have never known jay Z cheated of Shane dropped leimonade. But that's
regular shit. That's also a perfect example. Okay, cool, We don't hear nothing else about them, but you know, apparently he cheated, you know, allegendly he Cheatedlady would got beat up in the elevator by s launch.
You know what I'm saying.
Something happened there and we probably will never find out exactly what happened, but it.
Is what it is. More of the story is, don't glorify anybody. Do what works for you. Do what works for you. Because Kirk and.
Rashid, I'm gona say this that I'm gonna get out of here. Kirk and Rashida, right, they have they have businesses together, man, that's our that was our manager. That was they got kids, kids, kids, kids and mold kids together like like they've built that all of their success with each other.
You get what I'm saying. So sometimes it ain't.
Just easy to walk away, and I get it. I fucking get a look at yandyem in DC.
No mine, don't. Don't even look at them.
All Right, we've come to yet the end of another Catholic Records episode with your girl, Jacelarios. So what I'll be doing, I'll be fixing mess and I'll check in with y'all next week.
Peace Takes.
And Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.