Reckless Replay: You're Not Even a Citizen???

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Happy Wednesday, y'all, welcome back to get another carefully reckless episode with your Girl just hilarious. I'm gonn jump straight in. We got more voice notes. I love it, y'all, I love it. Shit, I still got a lot of stories to read, but I'll revisit that next week. We're gonna start with the voice notes. Make those priority this week. How I'm gonna do it is I'll do for the first two weeks out of the month, I'll do voice notes, and then the last two weeks out of the month,

Here we go.

Hey, Jess, I just want to say I've been listening to you since episode one of this podcast, and girl, I love you.

I love you.

Reels.

I missed just with the mess, but I know why you stopped doing it with your son in Chadwick, and I respect that. But anyways, my mess is family related, and I'm gonna try to keep it shorter than it really could get. So I have a cousin, and me and that cousin grew up kind of like sister brother cousins, similar age. When we got to be older, you know, groups mingle. I would date his friends.

He did if you were my friends, always was, you know. That's how we went. As we got a little older, it started to seem.

Like he wanted to kind of shut me off but still date my friends. So I had a friend and at the time, he had a child on the way, and I invited my friend to a family event. She met my cousin, unknowing to me, they exchanged numbers. Fast forward a few weeks later, him and his baby's mother fell out because she went through his phone and found messages of him and my friend. When I approached my friend about it, she kind of told me, basically, it's ount of your business.

I didn't tell you it's not your business, So I left it at that.

From there, she kind of just distanced herself from me and let it be known that she didn't want to be my friend no more. Basically, she got what she was there for. So that was the end of our friendship. My cousin and I never really mended things back to where we were, but you know, family is family, and I still.

Was around him hearing them.

He meets another friend of mine, same thing, things go left with them. She's actually a closer friend of mine, and she tells me what he's actually says about me when he's with her, the things he says about me, and gives me insight on why every time he dates one of my friends they stopped being my friend. He was going as far as saying anything that you hear

A child on her own for a bit.

I have history with that particular situation, not with the child, but with having the loved one go away because of the law, and I'm battling should I reach out to her After everything I've done, I've lost two good friends behind my cousin, but essentially those were not my friends.

They would be there.

I respect the second one more because she at least was honest with me about it, But I'm battling with the fact that the first one is carrying a child that is a part of my blood, and then also knowing what she's going to be dealing with because my cousin is going to be away, and I don't know if I should reach out or if I should just be like, bitch, fuck you, this is your karma from five years ago, because I told you I asked not to fuck with him.

Help me, Jess, help me, girl, girl.

First of all, I just want to say, you sound just like Gabrielle Union girls. What a god you got the Gabrielle Union voice. Hey, you sound like somebody else, but that is not why you're writing me today, all right.

So anyway, let's get into it.

I love your voice, by the way, girl, the raspiness, Girl, I listen.

I ain't weird and nothing like that.

I just love certain voices, girl, and yours is one of them. Okay, So you can go about this two different ways now, and you would be totally within your right, well within your right to pick either one.

Now.

The fact that he does have a child on the way, and he is by the first friend who was gonna be destined to get that karma one way or another.

This is still your blood.

So I can tell that you're a family person, you know, like you said, you and your cousin were raised as siblings, you know, and you see that a lot in families period.

You know.

I was gonna say black families, but I mean, because that's the only race that I've seen it in, because that's the only race I am.

But we do that.

You know, my cousin London was raised as my sister. You know my cousin Terrell was raised as my brother, and we are big on family, a very big family oriented family. So I do understand that. Now, although you and your cousin are not as tight as you guys used to be thanks to the females and all the shit that he does or whatever, you seem to still have a certain attachment. You always have him in your heart somewhere because you guys were raised together. It's a

So I get it. That's a bond there.

It's just been tampered with a little bit, but it still nonetheless a bond. I know you would love to see his child grow beautifully and you know healthy. I know you would love to be there for the birth. I can just tell.

I can hear it in your voice.

You love your cousin still and you would love anything that he produced, and that would be a baby and your first friend child now listen, I ain't gonna let my personal experiences and how I feel about it dictate how I speak to you with this situation, because I'm not going to be biased at all. But Karma was definitely knocking at her door. She answered it, she got it. I would only reach out to her if it is only about the baby, just to be honest with you,

Child.

Please, But what's significant about your story is his family. I get a lot of relationship stories and questions and things that I would advise people on, but this is family, and so this is a little bit more delicate, you know, because y'all are always gonna be blood. I want to know have you talked to him since he's been in jail, because obviously that's where he is. You said he got

Has he you know? Is there other letters? Like?

Because I think that you should speak to him first as well. I mean it's not not to ask his permission about the baby, but I think you should kind of bridge that gap to reconcile, be the bigger person, and kind of get through to him a little bit. Like, look, man, we were raised a particular way. We were raised as brother and sister. Okay, we got older, we went our separate ways, and you know, you started dating my friends, and you know you're a womanizer, You're not really a loyal,

You know at that.

Time, did you fuck around get one of my friends pregnant, wasn't even win her, then you fuck another one of my friends and the cycle would have probably still been going on today if you were physically able to fuck more friends of mine. I don't think you should blame yourself for any of this, Honey. I heard you say, you know it's my fault that I put him around my friends.

No, people are people, it's social. You could be.

Around women that Nigga can be around women without sick and is dick and one.

It don't matter. No, that's not your fault. You're not his supervisor.

You don't have to supervise his interactions with women just because they're your friends. You shouldn't feel that way. I think you should reach out to him, Definitely have a conversation with him and just be real and tell him you have this baby on the way by. You know one of my former friends, and I want to reach out to her. I don't know how you're feeling about it,

I wouldn't. You're gonna get to know the baby, you're gonna grow up.

And then that friend may even have animosity toward you, because nobody likes to meet the person that told them that they would be here one day and they're actually there.

Nobody likes that I told you so.

And even though you're probably not that type of person, she gonna fill that off the rip and she's gonna already be probably bitter toward you because now she's in a such that she never thought she would be in had she listened to her friend that one year, she wouldn't be here. But it's aside, the cookie crumbles, So only if it's about the baby if the baby is his.

But if not, I wouldn't. I wouldn't. But check back in with me, girl, check back in now.

We got a commercial and if you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm an beat your ass.

Listen. All right, Moving on, guys.

Hi, Jess, I had a question for you. I recently ended my relationship of a year and a half with a man. We lived together. We don't have any children together, but he was very close with my children. He didn't have any children of his own. But I ended the

Oh you're so sweet. Thank you girl. I appreciate that.

I appreciate that you love my comedy and also appreciate what you do for your country. So with that being said, yes, there's no way that he could have possibly thought to not eventually tell you the truth when he realized, like how detrimental shit could have gotten for you and your family, Like you said, they could have affected your clearance.

That's a bold lie. That's a huge lie.

Now, I do understand sometimes people keep these type of things from people just protecting themselves from being broken up with or you know, from being looked that crazy or being deported or but you loved him, you know, y'all are in a relationship for over a year and a half, So you think I'm gonna be with you and you don't tell me about this shit, but I gotta find out because I'm actually trying to.

Help you work, girl.

So what I would say, what could also be an option, is that he knew that the only way that he could be grants a citizenship is if he could get married. I think that he probably wanted to you, who's you to marry him?

Really really fall in love with you.

Because he probably didn't have any money, because you obviously you said he was trying to get him a job. You know, usually people come over here and they pay for someone to marry them so they can get their card. You know what I'm saying. I know lots of people that has done it. That's a real thing. But because he knew he didn't have any money, he just chose to do it the more fucked up way. And I think he still fell for you. I'm not saying you

So do you really love me? Was this year and a half fake? Or what? Like? I need some fucking answers, you know what I'm saying? Like that? That is me speaking? Is you demanding for answers? There?

Like, just be honest with me. I already love you, We already did the work in the relationship.

Is this real? Do you love me?

Or did you just have a plan to be granted citizenship and you use me to do so eventually? Because, like you said, you want a family, So I know y'all have talked about marriage. Y'all had to. I don't even have to ask you that. I know that because you want a family, you want his family to accept your kids. You've been his girlfriend for over a fucking year and to some that may not be a lot of time. That's a lot of time to me, especially if you're around my kids and you know, you know

And the reason why because I know you love him.

The reason why I say wasted is because I want to open your eyes to what the fuck I think he was really trying to do. And I know you had to think it in the back of your mind, but because you love him, you probably didn't want to face it. That's what he was doing, right that was his process the whole time. Like I said, I won't say he don't love you, but he definitely had an agenda.

It was a motive behind all this love and this relationship and all that.

I think it's best for you to leave, I do while you put a whole year and a half in it, and that is not a short amount of time. I don't think it's an extremely long amount of time for you to leave that shit alone right now, because imagine y'all could be five years in and then this motherfuckers, and then it's the way you found out. You found out because you were trying to help him get a job, So he would have never told you this.

You understand what I'm saying.

You would have never told you this. That could be another reason why he didn't want you to meet his family. Either oh, now, they might tell it that I'm not here on it, you know, or unless the family was down with the plan from the jump. Come hear meet somebody, marry them and then you can be with us forever or whatever the fuck. You know, I'm really frustrated that you're going through this shit, So don't mind my cursing, and I'm very sorry about that. But check back in

You never know.

She was in a relationship with this man for eighteen months and he lied. Now what I want to know and she didn't tell me, was when she found out was that recently? Was that when she just broke out with him? Is that what she just broke up with him for? Or did she continue to be in a relationship with him? Because she said she just can't deal with it anymore. That means that she was actually trying to deal with it. And you see what we do as women. I can't say men do this, because I'm

Is going on with you.

You got issues that you don't even know you have, and you don't even see the issues until somebody else is there to ignite that shit in you.

That's your significant other.

When you jump in these relationships, people don't know themselves until they get with somebody else. Because people, you have to learn how to use people as mirrors. Oh shit, this is what I'm doing. This is why you act like this because what I'm doing and then sometimes that's

I wasn't like this until I met you. No, you were like this. You just wasn't.

Never with nobody that showed you this shit. It's deep, It gets deep, It gets deep, and that's why a lot of people need therapy before they get in relationships. You can't take too fucked up people put them in a relationship, and then now they go seek counseling together. Nah, none, no, no, because y'all just learning how to be together. Y'all not even learning how to be alone.

Yet.

When you know how to be alone, that's when you can fathom learning how to be together with someone else. If you can't be alone, that's scary because you ain't always gonna be with your partner, So what the fuck will you do when you're alone?

You'll go crazy.

People don't understand that it's deep, and I could go deeper, but y'all gonna have to wait till next week. And just like that, we come to the end of this episode with your Girl Jess hilarious. Can't fully reckless. Y'all need to tune in each and every Wednesday, seven am and watch Reckless only on YouTube every Wednesday, seven pm. Catch it tonight. Happy Holidays and happy New Year of founds outs for y'all. Can't Fully Reckless is a production