Real & Raw

but yeah, so might we'll fight? We can shut up today's topic? Today's topic is, uh, it's rather debatable, y'all know I always go against the grain to talk about the ship that will forever be debatable. It's letting go, letting go of someone, not friendship, not a family member, but guys any vice versa. You know, if you let gold female let go of a guy, it could be very hard. And I brought my hurling because she went

through that recently. I've been through it plenty of times, and I just want a different person speed that other than myself and my fans. So yeah, I'm here for what's up? Man? I'm ready to tell my story. So you've been a relationship, a long term relationship. Tell me about it. How long was it? It It was some years? And then ain't in pretty well for me? It didn't end well for you. What you may, okay and tell me I was down and stopped. Okay, so he talked.

He he left you? Yeah, pretty much, he left you. Okay, what did you do? You know what I'm saying? Why? Why was it? Why did we leave you? You know? I feel like I gave too much and it wasn't reciprocated, and so when it was time to like, um, when when stuff started getting shaking rocky, it was like I was that one. It was always going to be there. Okay, okay, I get it. So you were convenient for this man basically pretty much she used up all that you gave.

As long as you were giving, he was using it up. And like I said, restiprocity wasn't in place, Like he was not giving you what you were giving him, which a lot of times is the case, you know, And that's on mad and female side, you know what I mean. Like I've been on both ends of that stick, like where I give a guy too much and then I get almost nothing at all. And then the album gives me is everything and that's not the one I want, you know, so it's like we all go through that.

Um how did it get to I feel like at the moment in my life, I was very vulnerable. You were. So my vulnerability gave in to some situations that probably wasn't for me. And so because I was vulnerable, I was I was with it. What were you vulnerable? Was it where you were coming from a previous relationship where you want drugs? Like what was going on? How how were you drugs enough? It just was like you know, like life period, like you know, there was a lot

of ship going and he was there. He was your ear, your my my happy old partner, my my eating partner, and my I can just tell everything to then stuff. Yeah, that's how you fall in love. Those are all of the ingredients too. I'm falling for you, especially when you've

got a happy hour. We got hell, everybody happy from the hent the you know what was next, But it was everything was like a heavy rotation, like we was just vibing and like you know, it was friends first, Like I think you didn't get the fan Like we was friends first, and then you know, things went from a to b whatever, whatever, whatever. That's another story from over day. But yeah, we didn't we didn't cover it. Next week. I'll come back. I'll come back with the street,

I co juice. I gotta take a slow with stuff. You'll come back with. I'm sorry, guys, an't gonna cheese from deep deep down to Baltimore. So she said she's gonna come back with the j the team, the team. You'll come back with the tea. I'm stand okay, come over with the tea. I know they want here to tea anyway. So and he left you, Okay, you use damn or whatever. Okay, did you ever try to rekindle that? Absolutely?

I wanted to fight for without without love, without even though you gave, even though you were the one given everything, you know what I'm saying, like, and it was not even want to say. I mean, my heart definitely was involved. I'm not gonna say I gave every everything. Because he did give some expect of the friendship relationship type of situation. I was like situation ships. I say, that's a situation ship.

So he did give some parts. But it was like when things got rocking and got shaky, you know, you know, went left I'm like, I thought we was in this together, Like, yeah, so did he ever like, let me ask you this, he ever ad he ever told you straight up we're together? No, I was going together stuff. No, yeah, definitely understand you. I asked you that because nowadays, even though this is back then, Yahn, the days, that's what you kind of gotta ask. You know what I'm saying, because gods will

play that game. They would play that game even we do. You know we do too, But guys who play that game, they will do together, ship with you and then still be talking about these singles on the truths in facts, you know what I'm saying, Like, and that hurts. That hurts. That hurts you as a female because here you're thinking it's one thing even because some sometimes some things are better left them said, what's what's understood? They've got to be So that's what you were saying. I'm spoken, we

are together. You know, we shouldn't have to still be like oh worth that short, but you know what I'm saying. But as a shame now the days you still have to So where is he now? I ain't even talking to him? And in the last time you try to get back with him. How did you do that? Did you pop up on them? No? I checked out. I definitely chocked out. I've had my crazy days, definitely chilled though.

I mean, this is this is like the this is like the low this is like the low key me, like because I'm that one, like you said, I jump out there, but it's like these plast a couple of years. I'm like, all right, like let some stuff ride, but like and then it didn't hurt me inside. But I'm trying to because I'm a chowing and I'm I'm trying to do things differently and that makes an I'm thirty three. All right, Well look this situation definitely has you know,

revamped you me, bro. I can tell even how you even how you speak, how you handle a certain situations, how we're out. Sometimes you tell me how to handle a certain situations. You know what I'm saying, Like you're my bigg a little friend. You know she's not. She's she's three eleven, but she no, I wish your height, you know, you fool bad. I had to give it anyone foot. She four eleven. She got a big personality,

big voice. So a lot of people arender asking me her but this is one motherfucker's a five cracker when she take it to that point, you know what I'm saying. Other than that she cool cool is a motherfucking fan, real laid back. And that's why that brings me to this, did he leave you for somebody else? And that we want to rewind some stuff? And that's the case because so, so what happened was how we kind of got together with whatever situation she was dealing at the moment, because

he was una vulnerable state. I was available, I was around whatever. Um it was going downhill. Okay, So when he met you, he was already on the outskirt somebody. Yeah, and he was telling you. He was saying yeah, okay, and he was doing it, was doing some single stuff like just like he was doing together. Yeah. So yeah, there was doing some single stuff. Got to yeah, facts got gotten. So yeah, and so I mean it was it was a thing like yeah, it was like I can tell it made you feel good fast. He felt

for him. You were vulnerable. He was trying to like basically you were. I wouldn't make a decision without this man. It was like thing. So and then they was like what SOULTI, let's say yeah, and how long did this go on for? For years? Four years? I would have thought we were married for years time, but you just thought he was your your boyfriend. I would have thought we were engaged like for nobody just situation ship for four years and so now I can't get pass and

now yo damn yo. Now it just messes up my relationships with men now okay, because it is like yeah, effects like I'm I'm a good person being around people. I feel like, why do you want to be around me? Like what? Like what is it about me? And look at you still questioning yourself. You've been like better than scarred by the relationship because never are you ever supposed

to question yourself why somebody gonna be around you? When I met you, I took to you like because out of all the bitches in the room and all you know whatever, Like you know what I'm saying, Like you're funny, you have a genuine spirit. And all I do is make people laugh. That's my job, that's my career, and

that's my social obligation. Like you know, I make people laugh when I feel like they're saying you made me like the whole day made me like every time I am around you like you play a lot, like you're really a good friend and you just help me move. You didn't have to do that, But if you move, I'm not gonna help you. So that's what you or something, baby, I bet it call somebody. In all seriousness, you're a really really good person and you're even better catch. So

don't have a next that thanks. You know what I'm saying that nigga just sucked up, that's what. But I'm just saying like just like my relationships with people men more more say, like when I'm trying to date or when I'm trying to like go out, like it's just to be like little thing just ticking him. Like like every red flags, I'm red flagging it. So because you don't want you're real flagging it because you don't want the same thing that happen or red flags don't want

the same thing happening again. And it's like am I ready, Like I'm just red flagging everything like yeah they did that. No, No, you know what I'm saying. I don't want to, like I don't want my insecurity to jump out of it either, like I'm trying to. You know, it was very easy for that to have let you know, because he didn't

do that. He whoever you're dating now, like he he didn't do with yo, did you know what I'm saying, he's not him, so he can't pay for I'm saying, he didn't make you know, and and said at the same time, you never want to give a guy too much, because that's the end. So like hurt people. Hurt people, that's a thing. That's a real thing people do or people. You know, You're definitely right. That comes with only friends and whoever guys they do it, and they do it subconsciously,

like he don't even know. We're so busy trying to get over the girl that he was with that he made you fall in love and then ended up going back retracking. That's what he did, so we ended up going back. Okay, they're together, Karen, to my knowledge, chance you know that. So you're still checking. I ain't checking, aver course, maybe I ain't checking out of things. To my knowledge, I don't go I don't checking about the thing. Baby. I promise you ain't checking. I promise you might have checking.

I'm promise trying to check it. Let's stop the breaking. I promise you like ain't checking about it. So look when you were trying to rekindle it, when you were trying to get real quainting, just you know, how was he you know how we you know how we as women do we want that extra closure, like you know, was this what it is like? Like? But he didn't give me, Like he didn't give me what I was

choking for. Just say that it's over, like, just say it's He wouldn't say he because he still wanted to have you for a reserve, just in case shorty fund up again, just the case he funked up again, because he could have sunked up and she got tired of it, you know what I'm saying. So it could have been any type of situation. It could have been on her, it could have been on him. But I'm glad that

he didn't because he would have kept stringing along. He would have been playing the games and not saying that he never liked you, never loved you whatever, because you too you too likable for somebody not to like you. You're too like No, you just you're like everything type person. So it's not saying that he didn't, but he was just in something else that he thought that he could get over. So exactly, I'm glad did that happened because I taught you something and it taught him something to

you know what I mean? So, is there anybody in the picture now, because you said it affects your dating? Is there anybody in the picture or you just you know, Yeah, but they don't know, they don't know, like I don't know. I mean, I mean he's talked to some mond. You mean, I mean you're talking to some mone some guys. That means somebody. I'm just you know, I mean, it's your deep deep Baltimore, this sea thing out of you. So yeah, um, she talked to some miney, she talks to one. So

you're talk going first, chess, what's going on? I mean, all you think is gonna be listening to started like you might will just come out and be like I'm sucking. So I'm talking to you, did not love to I ain't sharing this, y'all. Oh no, you got this, but I'm sharing it's going up black effect. But yeah, I mean I'm talking to somebody, Okay, all right? And how is your past relationship affecting that? Because very much affected

a lot that us. How let me know because like the person that gives I mean, they'll meet me when I'm at but it's like I get scared, I'll beck away, like so you'll you'll go in and then you get so sick I'm going and then not yeah, you won't jump m And I said, it's going to take to scare you forbid yourself to be hurt. You refused to get hurt against if you just it's like I'm always It's like it's like some people like you're the whole nigga.

I'm like, what what like you're not like these tendencies just like men playable women or men lead women and not even noticing in the houtsight, you're kind of doing the same thing that you'll did to you you won't go. How long have you been talking to this person dating this person outside? Because talking to this trash, I mean it's been a little minute now, it's been a little minute. What's the little man? Like, what's the bottom moment? What

the women? It could be anything, it's examplicandplican. It can literally be one minute, it can be a year. I'll just give it us a minute. So what a minute? A minute? Okay, so almost two minutes. Very cool, And do you feel yourself holding back? Absolutely? Okay? And what ways? I mean, I'm guard it, like my how does god? Mom? Does he feel that? Does he see that? I don't. They never put it to my attention. I just know

where I'm at. See, you're selfish, You're very selfish. You've been dealing with this guy for bottomore minute and a half and you really really are doing him like Ted was doing you. I'm just gonna give him a name. I don't want him saying Yo, I'm gonna say Ted. I'm really not though, because you are. I'm not. I'm not. You're not giving him You're all and he's what's my own? What? What's what's my own? And he was like like, I mean, I'm just still got it after the day, though, like

give it all? Long ago? Was this? What depend the first guy that the breakup? I spent a minute to no, No, what's how long has it been? And we're not gonna keep doing that? How long? Like three minutes? So like three years? Alright? Cool, So it's been three years and you still won't get over that ship. Oh no, it ain't. No, it ain't been three years. But it feels like, yeah,

it feels yeah, Okay, I get it, I get it. Well, let's put it like this, how long do you expect for him to continue to give his own and you're not. I don't even think he's giving his own. I think i'm any what you talking of? Bitches? Absolutely the DMC jumping. What does do? Should you be in his d ms? I don't be in them, but they'd be in them. Oh,

they've be in them. You don't be in them. But it's funny how you keep knowing I met him through the d you met him in the d M. Okay, so you can't even argue I can't argue with that. But you didn't even same upset about it. You seem like you're okay with the d M business. I mean because I'm you know what you're given at the end of the day, and you know that he still has to be compensated for what you're lacking. That's a plus,

It's true. Okay, So do you ever see yourself getting back with the ass like if Dennig it was to drop that bitch right now and be like, look, I'm sorry, I'm giving myself to you. Like honestly, I know I did you wrong, but I went back just to see if it were worka Sometimes it was like that um prime example. Just listen, I'm gonna bring it back. I was with Ashton's father. I was in love with one

guy other than Ashton's father. In love, I didn't say I only loved when I was in love with one guy, right. That was my ax. Now he was he came right after wrong. Now. I left him to go back to Rome to see if that's what I really wanted because my baby was so young, and I didn't want Ashton to grow up without the family dynamic. And then my parents were married and then all that, like I wanted

him to grow up like I grew up. And then with Rome, his mom died at ten, and then his dad, you know, being here with me and there at the same time, and stepmother's grandmother's reason that everybody I didn't want as to have that, you know, not realizing that he doesn't have to have that. It could be a

healthy co parents and relationship. I went back a double back, and I tried it, and I went back to him, and the nigger cheated on me in seventy two hours, so I lost the only guy who I felt like would give me his all, but I've ever had in my life, you know, and and and then now like and there was I went back and then theyga cheated

on me with somebody that he worked with Rome. So it's just like yo, when I say Rome, it's taking me through a lot, Like now he's my brother, but like he's taken me through a lot, you know what I mean. But sometimes people go back just to see that last what if he was to do that? Would you believe that? Would you? Would you drop everything? I would not. I gave him way too much power the first over year, way too much. And like when when it was over, I felt the power. I didn't have

no power because I gave it all. So at the rebuild, like rebuilding, like you gotta go through that stage of rebuilding by by yourself, and then you trying to date other people or trying to talk to other people, see other people. That ain't a good That's why sometimes I

don't want to come out. I don't even want to go with people like you know what I'm I'm always good, You're gonna happ but it's like then, yeah, I won't go home with that, Like I don't want to really be around people like that, especially when it comes to guys, because I mean, I'm just feel like I'm walking on pins and needles, if that makes sense, And I mean nobody shouldn't be feel that kind of way, will be that kind of way, and not every guy is the saying,

let's be very clear. But because I'm in my rebuilding stage, in my rebuilding process, it's gonna it takes time. I don't want to jump out of one thing and didn't jump into another thing because of the day, I'm still not gonna be satisfied because at the day, I still to love myself, and so can I checked out of one thing and getting into another thing. When am I gonna have time for me to see the things that I like. I don't like, you know, I like going

on by myself. I wan't around with that. I'll go anywhere in this world by myself. I already traveled by myself. Like I'll get on the plane any day. People like you're going, yeah, I'm going by myself. Who you girl? When he was like I want to this and I was like, who do you do out there? And so I mean that's that's a part of me getting to know who I am, what I like, what I don't like, rebuilding my style because I was never always this way.

So coming out of that relationship, with that situation ship, it took something from me, like it took it took something, and so I had to pull back into myself. And I never grew up with a family like mother and father in the same house and all that stuff. So it's like I had to teach myself how to um, to be in a relationship or to deal with somebody because I had to do it with a lot of

trial and error. So I feel like my last situation was a trial and it was an error to get me ready for something else, but something I'll be able to trust, not question and not you know, I don't wanted to question nobody and being secure because in fact, so I don't want to go through that. So I just take these more. I mean, like I said, I talked to somebody. At the end of the day, I'm still rebuilding Bria who Brill is like, yeah, and I

can't put no time limit on that. When you know, I can't do that like when I'm whole, because I'm not whole. So when I'm whole, and I can't really like give myself to somebody, you know, completely, because I cannot give because it's gonna be half and half and half. I'm give you this piece of me, this like it's gonna be divided up, and I don't want to do that to anybody. So right now, I'm okay where I'm where I am. I like my friend were good, like

nothing comes between any any of that. He respect where I am. You know, we have a little conversations here and there, like yo, you know, I say a little stuff in there, but you know, yeah, so I mean I said, I don't know, I'm not innocent, like you know, I'm you know, I love going everything, but I have some mess up and I do something, do some little

stuff or whatever. But you know, I ain't never gonna be on here bursting nobody nothing like that, Like you ain't nobody wanted to tell you know nothing about me. You know what I'm saying. That's that's true that I can't say, yeah, that's true, if that makes sense. So yeah, I mean I'm abouted through a little bumping the rule. But I'm picking myself up. I'm picking the pieces up and I'm just moving forward and at the end of the day, that's all you can do. Thank you, That's

all you can do. And I want to come in you coming over here being so open. I had to pull some ship out of you. But you know what I'm saying, if you never know who else is going

through this ship, that's why I do this ship. You know it's called carefree record school weets and you know you we talked about ship that women don't want to open up about two other women, you know, because you don't want to look like this, or you don't want to be judged, or you're I never do that in the same bitches that be coming on like I would

never do that. When when people keep cheating, when we see these celebrities going through life as a safari and and got the America, the amount of people in the fucking comments bashing this girl and y'all going through the same ship for free at home they're getting paid for. Nobody should to go for it, y'all. Nobody should go

through it. But who are you to sit behind your your act, your free act and talk about somebody that's going through the same ship that you went through or you're going through or you're gonna go through act like I feel like we're supposed to learn from these motherfucker's on the scene because they're going they like online and ship cool, learn from that. Ship. I've been through it. I didn't handle it like they're handling it. But ship,

you never know. It's different shows to different books. What were you about to ask? How do you feel about the situation? You know, what's the guy named on Instagram? Just than justin Little Boys? Justin Little Boy, you don't get to ask some questions. And just like that, we came to the end of the episode, say Vibe brand because they're gonna love They're gonna love you just like they love me. Makes you tune in every Wednesday, eating

every hump Day. And then my best deep band Boys Back Then Still Asked Back Steel as Back Nice Still Ask Carefully. Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from My Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.