My Lil Funky Friend

Speaks to the Plannet.

I go by the name of Charlamagne the God, and guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions Man, D B and Wheezy. Okay, we got the R and B Money podcast. We're taking Jay Valentine. We got the Woman of All podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got

Welcome to Can't Believe Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effects. Good Morning y'all, whatever you tailor on one read. She ain't hit pregnant, just like I was, so she on y'all. Fuck, she don't even want to help, y'all.

I'm just the only.

Reason why she is because I'm in her studio, so I'm technically in her space.

So we about to be about to get it, y'all.

It's like, no, we're on the air, i'lcome back to yet another carefully reckless episode with your Girl, just hilarious. Taylor is in the buildings, say hi to tailor, YR and Taylor say hi to them.

Hey, you know what help? If you said me first, say oh yeah.

Because yeah, because you begeting confused, I'd be like say thank you to tailor.

She'd be like thank you.

Like girl, okay, so I'm gonna just tell you what to do first and then all right, that's fine.

We're gonna jump straight in though.

Because we do not have voice memos, girl, people are scared to send in their voice memos because people know their people's voices.

And so yes, girl, at first.

I was beating and banging their heads, like why the hell y'all won't sending y'all voices?

And y'all, because you know everybody, we can't away they.

Might know the story too, so it doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah, because.

Like you'd be surprised how many people listen to my podcast. I'm like, why, y'all, why y'all so scared? And people started writing me like because bitch, people knew my voice, and I'm like, oh.

My god, I'm sorry.

So you're right, Oh my gosh, All right, yous ai something you siri, because y'all a lot of y'all can't spout.

Y'all just fix my mask? Should All right? What's good? Jess?

So I have a really good friend and we've been friends for years. I basically would call her like a sister. I just started this job and she needed one, so I told her that my job was hiring. She was saying how her mom wouldn't let her take the car so she would have no way to work. I suggested that she could ride to work with me. She would just have to put up for rides because we were taking ubers.

To and from.

Oh okay, okay, My father agreed to let her stay. Mind you, my cousin was already staying there, so I was happy he just let both of them stay.

Okay, So all right, so.

You you're not only giving her a ride, you're giving her a place to stay, Okay, got you, which is probably more convenient for her to go to work from your house since her dad won. Oh go gotcha, gotcha. I'm just trying to figure it out. Say it's why I don't need to send in boys some of mos.

All right.

So one night, we're all about to go to sleep and my dad calls me out of my room. He takes me in the bathroom and asked me which washcloth was mine, and I told him mine was clean. So my dad lifted up one of the washcloths and told me to smell it, and I almost threw the fuck up.

What the fuck?

My dad said, No females should smell like this ever in life, and if she can't get it right, she need to go home.

Mm.

I go on my room and I whispered to my cousin because she was still up, and I asked her what color was the washcloth that she used, and she told me it was green. That wasn't the one my dad was talking about. So I immediately was like, oh shit, he said so he said so, and so wash clothes th ain't anyway, And if she can't get it together, she has to go home. So me and my cousin was just looking stuck at each other because oh my gosh, obviously that was super embarrassing and I don't want to

But she stink yo, this girl says.

So my question is how should I tell her she smells unholy.

Without hurting her feelings? Well, that's how you do it. That's how you do it. You say you smell unholy.

Like I mean, and at least you you know, if somebody, if somebody said that to me, I would ask them to elaborate, because I don't even know what holy smells like.

So unholy that's a whole new smell, unleashed.

They said that the wash, Yes, the wash class Her dad s curna bathroom, was like, here, smell this, which one is yours? And he's like she He's like, no, this was not mine. He said, okay, and I'll smell this one. And it was awful. She said it was I can't and it. But and her dad was like, listen, no woman should ever smell like this ever in their fucking lives.

So no.

But the only reason why I'm like the wash cloth is because does she smell her self like vagina or I'm just saying like she's around her, so does she smell You're basing off of w washclock that yeh could be already your sour because you're honestly supposed to switch out washcloths what like every what three days, two days or something like that.

I actually have too, So I have one for my face.

I don't use the same one for my face that I use for my body, and I switch out to buy the washcloths for my body, like every two to three days. I don't change my face washcloth every two to three days. I may do you use that one for a week, you know, but it's only going to my face. I washed it out before I wash my face. I washed my face with you know, dermalogica, Like you know what I'm saying, So yeah, I'm very clean.

I was waiting for tailor to sad, but that's okay. So she's be like okay, like okay, thank you girl, I mean.

Like you know, but yeah, okay, No, that is true. You bring up a valid point. Do you smell her outside of that? Because if she does smell that, if the wash cloth does smell that bad because of her body odor, you would smell her.

Yeah.

The only reason why I'm saying that's because I don't know if I should put it whatever. It's right, they're like sometimes in the bathroom cleaning people you could clearly see like they're using a used or yeah, and sometimes like that, yeah, like sour, yes, like mildew a little bit. Yeah, like water has been sitting like old dishwaters, things like that too.

But yeah, I get it.

I just think that, okay, because there is a reason it's like that if something smelled like that, what's going on? Whether like are you scared to ask for another washcloth?

Like you know, do you.

Feel comfortable using this washcloth? Like you know, it's okay.

I'm sure they have a washing machine and a dryer where they can do laundry. And you know, because why does her rag smell like that? Even if the friend does not smell her on a regular why does your shit smell like that? And I told her, do you think the dad is wrong for saying, if she has to smell like this, she gotta go, like she don't get this together.

He didn't just put her out.

Yeah, yes, that's what he said.

I said three times.

I thought he was just saying, like, yo, woman shouldn't smell like this, but I didn't. Yeah, well if if she can, if she didn't get it together, like he's like, man, there's no way. That's why he didn't even know who it was. That's why he asked even her his daughter, which one is yours? Because I'm fitting with your ass.

If you smell like this in my house, Like the fuck?

You know you're a woman, You're you're a girl. Y'all are females. I mean, hygiene is very important. Hold up, hold up, I know this ship getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.

If you love me, you'll listen.

Okay, cause I thought it was a vision. She was about to be embarrassed. That was her because she's embarrassing her friend and she doesn't know how to tell her friend about it.

I mean, I think just tell her. I like the unholy comment. Yeah no, no.

Okay, okay, so let's just roll play okay, if I was your home girl, you were staying at my house and my dadd had put me in the bathroom and was like, listen, is this your wag? And we identified that it was yours because I went back and I asked my cousin is this yours?

She was like, no, that's my mind.

Then it's still it's yours. Now you're the only one left in the house, and I sit with you, and I'm like, hey, Tay, Tay, like my daddy.

We got to go through it.

Wait, hey, I just want to like tell you. So the other night I was in the bathroom and I kept getting this like like stinch across my nose when I was washing my face, and then I smelled like the wash cloths.

And yours is green, right, say yeah, your yours is green? Right? Yeah?

Okay yeah, And I smelled it and it didn't.

It almost really made me like throw up.

It's stank. And the thing is I never.

Smelled you, Like that's the thing, Like, I never smelled you before. So I was so surprised that your wash REGs smelled like that, like you smell like you know, just I mean, it smelled unholy.

So do you think.

I know, holy sounds so crazy, Okay, okay, your reaction to.

Be like the fuck is the holy? Like I would be taken back, like yeah, hold me the does that mean? Yeah? I would what would you say? I would just say like, hey, just come at you.

I'm the friend.

I'm the friend who has this thing wash cloth, and then you be the girl that's writing us. So I would just say hey, just so just you know, we girls and everything else, and I keep it real with you so it's still lets you know, like I was just in the bathroom. I smell just a little funk towards the washcloth. I don't know if it's like what

Just try your.

Dads because yeah, the fuck okay, Or I would just be like, yo, you should try this.

I would just maybe not even mentioned that, like try this soap. It's so good. It's my so good, right, Okay.

So out of the way, you just recommending different soaps, yeah, okay, just to me or just your dad and your cousin or just me, do you okay, thank you?

Okay, girls, so the guys have a different type of sense.

Okay, well I appreciate you because I feel like you're putting me be, you know, letting me know like you know, yeah, I just I've just been having a hard time, you know, since I'm not home, and you know, just just going back to my childhood, like the way I grew up and just.

You know what, are there's some type of childhood fucking trauma washing up.

Yeah, Like my dad used to try to drown me in the tub, so that I'm scared of like getting in the tub, scared of showers because he used to really put my head under the fucking.

Didn't that happen to Empire? The show? Oh my gosh, to the gay one? I don't know.

So I was rewatching it by accident. This begod, okay, watching I was watching it. It was on TV and I was watching something else and that on TV. Listen, just stop playing stop playing with TV.

Listen.

I think I should I should be director of TV or like c O O of TV. I'm the one who will put to be on the motherfucking map, Okay, other than Detroit Cleveland.

But yeah, I see.

Y'all like people was clawning me when I was like big up in TV early in the game.

And then now.

Everybody's like, so I was watching TV by accident, nor the you wasn't you gotta open?

I was watching to be watched.

Okay, Oh yeah, well no, I think that she should keep it real. I think she should keep it real with her friends. I mean, I don't disagree with the dad. No, I'm not gonna have if my daughter ain't even in here smelling like this, ain't nobody else about to be in here smelling like this?

This, This is ridiculous. You are young ladies, you know.

So I don't have a problem with the dad feeling that way. However, I do think she should keep it.

Real with her homegirl and set her down.

And the reason why I wouldn't bring up the dad is because I don't want the little girl to be to be embarrassed. It's like, yeah, because the dad did did smell it first, you know what I mean, And that's just him checking on his house, you know what I mean? But I I so I wouldn't bring up the dad. I would sit down and be and say that you smelled it, or you said, just offer a soap. I think that's more insulting than because it's gonna be given, Like all right, bitch, why you know what I mean?

You know, we girls before anything.

And I was in the bathroom the other day and I smelled the washrag that is yours because it was green, and well you don't got to see the color, just be like, I smell the wash cloth.

And if I she's just not putting stuff on her washcloth.

She's just like just maybe maybe just renting off yeah water, street.

Water because smell like yeah, something else.

Yeah, And then what is the stench?

Is it?

Uh?

Pussy?

Is the ass? Is it just dirt?

Sour like because it's not using soap wash? Yeah, Now we.

Got a commercial and if you click off this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass.

Listen you, but like, how can you like just rinse off your a jetcar use my soap?

Like yeah, yeah.

Yeah, So just casually be like, hey, well you can use my soap if you want. Yeah, that's not gonna play out.

Well, she was like, what do you mean all right? No, no, no, we're gonna play out these No.

We're gonna play these out. No, there's no way. So hey, hey girl, you can use my soap.

Don't be scared. Okay, not like that exactly.

And just be like that's how I say, like, yo, I love that, like, big up this sou that you're using, yo, try it smells so good.

Okay, So what if what if she's just using regular dove, like bar soap dove? Yeah no, I like liquid?

What about the liquid dovey the soap that's been in there and you're begging it up. That means a big stink because I see the same soap every day.

You just came here with a new soap.

Bady, Okay, so you would get a new soap.

Okay.

You know what good soap is Native? Get native the native that the native brands.

Those are really good.

That's it's real moisturizing. I love that, makeing skin so soft.

Ole A is good.

Dove is good also, But did you know that dove liquid soap is literally lotion. Yes, it's moisturizing, it's loasting. It's not even soap. That's crazy.

Only the bars of soap for Dove is actual so yes, Dove liquid soap. If you read the bag and you actually it's moisturizer, it's not even body washed.

It's not soap. That's why it doesn't lather like that.

Yeah it is.

It's classified as a cleanser, but it's not an actual soap.

That's why it doesn't lather.

Crazy interesting more now like the they have like a sea salt one that like exfoliates too.

And this is the sense you've been pregnant, you've been using this or you just like it here. I'm using it more now but sporadically before I was pregnant. Well I was too late to start another story. So is there anything else you want to talk about? Yees? So is it too Lacand it's not too but I mean this is not someone I didn't you want it one absolutely.

I saw this story and.

I feel like, oh my god, it's dumb. So got read it to you like this is off of.

Social media guys, all right, So guy Racon saying bruh, I did some dumb shit, took my baby mama to Atlanta, went to a swingers club and turned up. Bruh, me and her the breast off got stop but me and her and her finance redbone turning up.

I'm done, tapped out. I called me two good ones. I'm drained.

This big black six y six musclehead nigga came over and wanted to join them. Had to agree because that's what we talked about beforehand. That was both on our breck list. Not getting to graphic but follow me. We had a talel on. I'm not the smallest down there, no Diddy, I'm a good.

Seven plus plus.

This dude put out an elephant trunk and laid it on the other girl forehead. I told him, you're not putting that in my girl. This ever said I wanted. I took the hardest swallow and said, okay, so.

A gig or is this the woman? No woman talking right now? This is a guy. Yeah? Oh wow, okay, okay, So I had to watch my girl get slaughtered.

I even went over there while he was doing it and rubbed her forehead to tell her it will be okay.

What well she sounds like a scene from Bang Bros. And some ship. She was yelling, begging for me.

She was in the zone, and I checked out mentally, it's okay when we do it.

But that right there and all fast forward to this morning. I woke up this.

Morning in the mood, like any guy would. I went over to her and started to strike her strike it up with her. This motherfucker said, not right now. I'm still sore from the weekend.

Oh shit, what the fuck? Who says I can't get I can't get what I want.

I can't get what I wantause she's still sore from yes, real, real shit. I thought I could take it, but this entire experience turned me completely off. I want to break up with her, but I love her. I just don't think it wouldever be the scene. So wait, so this is a threesome that he agreed to. There, I guess they're swinging, okay, So they swung to the wrong nigga.

Yeah, they swung into the wrong guy and it was the right guy for her.

Yeah, but oh my god, and she sore. He's trying to fuck right after that day and she still sore from him from the other guy.

Well, that's what the fuck?

You get when you're swinging all over the goddamn place, like what the hell if you can't take then he get the hell off the kitchen, like.

No, why, Like he's the factory. He's like, I don't know, Like he's like I.

Had to take the biggest troll, like okay, Like him walking over there and letting her know, like it's okay, baby, it's already okay. She ain't get the fuck up. She over there having the time of her life.

That's crazy. And then you try, you come to that.

Yeah I can't, I can't, And then you think you're about to do something with your little dick.

The next day and she's like said he had a seven plus plus.

That he said that he had that or the guy had no he does.

Oh, I think the guy had a nine plus plus and that's why she was sore. He probably he probably never had her sore before.

Yikes.

I can't deal with that. How did they say how old they were? See those swinging stories get a little crazy. That's why when me and Chris was just in cancn and he would pineapple shorts and the people was walking up sad.

Like, so what's up? I'm like the fu.

Apparently the pineapple is a symbol for fucking swinging.

Oh really, yes, it's the whole thing.

Girl.

I didn't know the fruit, Yes, fruits.

Girl, pineapple was like that, that's the symbol of swinging. And yes, girl, we had old couples walking around te r Resk trying to fuck us. Yes, girl, I was like, hold on, excuse me, that's fun deal. Chris was like what you mean. I'm like, what the fuck you mean? Don't be all happy and shit these old bitches and it was paying. I was like, I don't know how much? How much had he Puerto Rican and all that and everything. Girl was yeah, but apparently that is the thing. I

Don't put you sit on my head? That's something to him saying I want to break up with her.

Like goofy, this is what y'all do. Yeah, we could fuck, but she can't get now. Now, if the roles had reversed, right, How would he feel like if it was a woman that like had his mind gone?

I know exactly.

And she said she wanted to break up with you because you was eating shorty pussy or or Shorty was sucking you off a little too great And the next day she wanted to suck you off and you told her that I'm trying, but I'm so tired, you know, from yesterday.

What if she wanted to break up with your ass? You?

Also, you know something that I got a problem with.

I got a problem with the whole polygamy thing only being for men, Like you know how Neo has four women?

Right?

Why can't it go the other way? Or does it go the other way? We just haven't seen it yet, Like this was a woman allowed to have four men.

According to because that's crazy, baby boy? She does that ship too? What you mean?

Oh A J Johnson?

Damn, I know I missed her interview when she was here.

Yeah, I know that's.

Oh yeah, oh yeah she's been with she's also a swinger. Yeah she miss I don't think I could. I think it's just a lot to.

Know it's taking that many dicks. Am just like I to be bothered with people like that. Yeah, so you just you that, like you want to be entertained by so many, so many people at once.

Like for a women, it is kind of different, I know, but I just hate how women I know. But see, men can do it easier, you know, because men been doing the shit since the beginning of time.

It's always been a thing.

But I'm just saying, like, if it goes for women, I mean, if it goes for men, there are some women who can handle that and who actually would like that, just like it's some men who prefer to have more than one woman. Why is it bad when women want to do it and you know, do it like y'all. But yep, we've come to the end of yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl just hilarious.

Taylor is here. See bye Taylor.

Bye. All right, y'all.

I gave it a direction that she took it, So catch us next week on Carefully Reckless. Piece Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.