Mirror Mirror on the Wall

will forever be debatable and discussed amongst us. So grab your tea, your halls, your hot tidy, your handy, whatever you want, because it's story time. Back in two thousand and fifteen, there were two girls, their sisters Claremont twins. Y'all know the mask, Shannon and Shied. They start on the reality series b g C Bad Girls Club right as y'all can see. They look nothing like they used

to look. Now. They were beautiful girls to me, I swear, I mean, I you know, they were beautiful, brown skinned girls. And I always make fun of them, you know, with just with the mess and all of that ship, I mean, because you know who wouldn't. But I'm just saying they did not look the same. They had excellent bone structure. They nice bodies, you know, but something happened to those girls where they just felt like they weren't beautiful had

to be because they look completely different. I'm talking about in two thousand and fifteen on Bad Girls Club. If that was the last time y'all ever saw them, and they walked down the street today, you would not know that that is Shannon and Chanelle Claremont. And that brings me to the topic of today, body dysmorphia disorder. And I never knew that there was a name for this.

My sister just brought this to my attention today. Actually, you know that this is an actual disorder that people have, because I've always said, in my mind, not everybody who gets addicted to plastic surgery is doing it because they want to. They're doing it because they feel like they have to. They're doing it because there is something that they see that they don't like every time they look in the mirror. You know. That's why I wanted to cater to it, the disorder by doing an episode on it.

And um my sister actually told me that she actually suffers with body dysmorphia disorder. I did not know that, Yes, So for those who don't know what body dysmorphia disorder is, I'm going to read this off of Google. It is a mental illness involving obsessive focus on a perceived flaw in appearance. That flaw can just be looking in the mirror and not seeing something that you like. So with me looking in the mirror, of course, you already know that.

You know, I lost weight, and even before I gained a whole lot of weight after having three children, I looked at myself and looked at my stomach and just like, oh my gosh, this is not what I'm used to Because I had three kids back to back to back, didn't give my body any rest. So that last tessity is gone, and that is normal for most mothers if they didn't snap back the way some people did, Like you know, you snap bag. You know you look good still.

But you know a lot of mothers go straight to surgery. Now nowadays, you know, they go straight to surgery. Like Cardi was even saying she didn't go and have light hope, but she was actually saying it right before she had this baby, that she's laying on that table as soon as she had his baby. So she can get back to work. A lot of people just don't do it

the natural way anymore. They feel like, you know, there has to has to be a surgery right after you give birth so you can look good quicker, you know. I mean, honestly, it might be too son for her, That's what she was saying. It's too saon. But I know women who have done that went got right off the fucking table and went to another room and got on another table. Man, if you're doctors or whomever decide they want to do that, then that's up to them.

Honestly me, I don't think that may be safe because you know, you just lost blood from having a child and all that stuff like that. If you are uncomfortable with how you look and you have body dysmorph your disorder, then that's what it drives you to do, you know what I mean. Like, there are a lot of things that I I still I'm not happy with. Yeah, I had surgery, you know, I got I had a BBL, I had my boobs done, and there are still things that I still feel like, No, I don't have hips.

I'm not as wide enough in my hip area as I would want to be. But am I gonna go back and lay on the table. No, I'm not, because I now know there are natural ways that you can make your hips spread, you know. And then also I don't go lay down on the table again, and then I get up in one of my hips is bigger than the other one. I ain't trying to do that. Ship like that happens a lot. I know your hips. You know why I said, what fucking is not the only way you can spread them, goddamn hip. So don't

remember that. People used to say that's like you get hit from the back, that will make your but bigger. Oh yeah, I've been getting hit from the back for a long time and that did not make my butt bigger at all. Like, seriously, it don't matter how you or then I heard somebody say if you if you do reverse cow girl, that will widen your hips. Well, ship, I don't know. Maybe I'm sucking the wrong man because

I'm telling you I don't know. Maybe they're talking about a different reverse because I just sex never did anything to enhance my body. But they say sweet potatoes, um eating them sweet potatoes? Yeah, potatoes, rice, sweet potatoes especially that can that go straight to your hips? Yeah? Hiding carbs, which is still not healthy. But I do want my damn hips. You know what I'm saying. Other things I don't like. I don't like my feet. I can't stand it. I got bunyans from dad Yo. But am I gonna

get a bunyan surgery? No? Because I need to walk on stage. Monica had one. Monica had bunion surgery. John Sally, Um he's a basketball player. Um, well he retired, Yeah, he had bunyan surgery. He said he was down for like six months. I don't got that kind of time that get does to rule you out on that stage. Shut roll into the stage, just desol And then I was gonna say then because you know, Ray hate me, bitch Rare and be like, yeah, how does it fair

talking with that motherfucking tongue? Off topic, Let's get back on it, Okay, So what are some other things you don't like about yourself? Because I I really didn't know that you had suffered from this disorder. I really didn't. I know some other celebrities that have. But we're gonna get into that. What don't you like about yourself? I look in the mirror and I see that I have bags under my eyes. I literally go back and I

look at my pictures from being a toddler. I looked at my kindergarten school pictures just like, damn, I had bags under my eyes then. So it's not like I'm tired or whatever like that, but it's just like I look at it and I'm just like, damn, I'm getting older. So it's just like the older I get, which I'm only thirty five and that's not really old. When I look at myself and I'm like, damn, I need some

fellers under my eyes. So you know, I go and I start looking up feelers and stuff like that, and I'm just like, do I really want to do this to myself? Yes, because I feel like it will make me happy, But will it really make me happy? I don't know. I look in the mirror. I have full lips already your around with like thin mints. But then I'm just like, oh man, my lips aren't the same size.

So it's just like, like, how your lips Your lips are a full, yeah, full lips, but I feel like your lips are equally the same size top and bottom lips. And then I look at my lips and I'm like, damn, should I get the top lip plumped up a little bit?

And it's just like I look at the invasive fillers where they actually stick the needle in your lip, and then they also have like this hydro something kind of um, non invasive filler where they I don't know what they do, they just put something on your lip and like shock it to make it swollen. So you're really doing research on different things to perfect your face. And this is the thing. Do you think it has something to do

with nowadays? Um knowing that just seeing how everybody else can fix it about them or because like you aren't even thinking about this ship until like more recently. Like I would say, what, like how long have you had this disorder? You feel like, what years? A couple of years at least, um, two years, like going on two years? Okay, So is it what you see? Because that can be a form of you being conditioned to think you have to make yourself look pretty to keep up with what

you see. So I feel like, um, it may be a combination of just looking at the internet, you know, looking at looking at the magazines and stuff like that. It's just like you still be looking at magazines. Okay, but you don't have a bomb. You do that like you'll look at them. I will bomb every once in a while, Like if I see a magazine with Brandy on it, I'm buying it. That's just I'm just like, Brandy,

let me get this. Or you know, the last magazine I actually purchased was UM with Meg and Marco and Harry on there. Okay, I kind of you know. I was just like, right, this is about so, and the line was moving fast. I was like, I'm just gonna have to buy. Yeah. So it's what you see in the magazines and online and ship like that, and I that's exactly what I feel like it is because Yo, you've been like in guy's eyes and and other That's why our bitches hated on you. When you were younger.

You had the perfect body, you had full lips, you had like nobody. I don't know, I don't really feel like nobody was paying attention to the ship that you can consider a flaw right now, back in the day, because everybody had flaws. It's like nobody was really focusing on perfecting themselves. Everybody seeing each other just for who the funk they were, you know, what I'm saying, and and of course I'm not saying there were no bullying. There was no ugly people back in the day, but

people weren't so conscious about being perfect. And I really feel like surgery is so much more affordable today than it used to be, and it's way more popular. You got installments you can make on your your surgeries and all that type of ship down payments and all you can actually pay off your titties, you know what I'm saying, in installments and ship like that. So I felt like that's also people's drive. This disorder is like kind of fuel because you have options there. You have options now

you can fix this. I've just seen something online where you can make yourself taller. There is a plastic surgery that they do something to your bones where they extend them where you can have YO. That was on Shade Room. It was on Shade Room. Um, I could not believe it when I first saw that was on site. Shout out the right Ali. I love her unblocked page, but I first seen it on site, I believe. But yes, that you can you can be made taller. So these

short niggers really go crazy. I know. Tory lanes where you go crazy with that ship. You know it was that just yeah, it's just please get the platforms. But yeah, you can do you can get new kneecaps. You know, you can get bitches is getting new chins out here. That's why I don't know why Natalie didn't do that yet. That's another thing I was looking. So they have um I've been looking at about my nose because I don't like how my nose hooks at the end. They have

another procedure where you don't have to get cut. It's some kind of like like some kind of like rod or string or something like that, and they put it in your nose and they lifted, they lifted and it's just literally like I think it's just done under local anesthetics. It's not you got you ain't gotta get your your ship all cut up. Because now they're finding new ways, like you know, like surgery. This ship works just like technology. I see, like you see how we used to have iPods.

Now there's no iPads. It's just Apple music on your phone. Like it evolves with time. So like now they have non invasive surgery and ship like that, Like everything is evolving pretty soon You're just going to go in the machine, don't you know the ts A machine where you go standing and your surgery. They're going turn around and you're gonna be a new person, will be a new person. You can be able to get out um. Having this disorder has cost me a lot of money, A lot

of money. I actually was supposed to you have surgery, yeah bad in August. Right now, I'm supposed to be healing from my mommy makeover. But I spent damn there ten thousand dollars for this plastic surgery company. Can I mentioned that absolutely, I don't go there. So they called me two weeks before my surgery and they canceled my surgery and they told me I can't get a refund. I spent damn there ten thousand dollars, and I kind

of fault myself. I tried not to fault myself because I'm just like, if I didn't have this disorder, I wouldn't have never been so quick to kick out the money and to be paying, you know, paying on this because I feel like I have to look a certain way, and I have my friends they tell me all the time, We're like, you know, are you really going to be happy if its done, and I'm just like probably not because, like I said, I've been looking at so like my news.

I'm not trying to get my ship cut in half like paid LaBelle dead like I just wanted diamn you straight put out there. I mean, you know she didn't. Okay, go with school shitty. We love you though you are the queen and ship you you ain't like it. You got to fexts what it is like you know, I'm sitting there talking about getting my ship lifted with strings

like what you say? Yeah, I ain't get my ship cutting half like Patty, but um yeah, so so for everybody out there who didn't know, yeah, Patty, ship is cutting half. So that's something you can say to it in the meet and Greek, I ain't know that you had ship cutting half. She'ld be like what but go ahead, yeah a little advers So I don't think that that I'll be happy. I really don't know, because I feel like no matter how I look at myself in the mirror,

I'm always going to find something wrong. Like I don't like the peak. I have a peak. I have a peak too, but it's just like it's it's little things and it's just like you're about to get peak surgery. I don't know hairline food with surgery to bring the rest of it up because the pick will make you look bald. Here this fun, yeah, the peak. You know, like I cut my peek off before and that should look dumb as fun when you dumbs a bit, the ponytails look crazy, didn't they when I was looking dum

But you know it's it's really it's really saying. I feel like these plastic surgery companies harp on people like myself, seeing the desperation and just knowing like, oh, you know, we could we could possibly get over when this person and I know I'm not the only one that they've got, did they have explained to you? Why they didn't? What did they say? So? Um, they called and they said that I have history of c v A. C v A can also be noticed as a stroke, but they're

two different things. C v A stands for cerebral vascular accident, but stroke is stroke and cv it's c v A. But if they're related, they go handing in. I mean, yeah, I feel like if if they're going to put something, they need to put stroke slash c v A, just like lupus and cancer, you know what I'm saying. They have their own you know, they're like their own separate entities of diseases, but they are still hand in hand,

you know what I mean. So like I feel like, you know, lupus is a type of cancer, although you know it's still identified as just lupus, but you had a stroke. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. So in the

beginning they noticed it as a stroke. After I went to UM, the neurologists and they did testing stuff like that, and they said, okay, we can't per se classify this as a stroke, so we're going to classify it as c v A. So they changed it from stroke to c v A v A. So all my all my paperwork, it doesn't say stroke, it says c v A. So what what me? Aesthetics told me? They said, oh, you know, you can get the surgery, but you just can't get it done here because we're clinic based. Our doctors don't

feel comfortable performing it on you. So I'm just like, okay, so now I ain't gonna lie. My anxiety has been high, it's been bothering the hell out of me because it's just like, I want my money, and it's just like and you're supposed to get your money back, and it's just like I want my money, so goals, so I get the ship fixed that I don't like about myself. So it's not even just I just want my money

back and I'm gonna sit on it. No, I'm definitely going to go somewhere else because you had from the jump, like that's when you even gave them your money. That's why you gave them me money. I do understand. So basically, bitch, you got the c V A ship. That's why they didn't want to perform it. Yeah, so what they did wrong was not giving your money back because you are

entitled to a refund because they canceled you. Okay, so yeah me esthetics, Yeah, yeah, you're gonna have some big lawsuits on your motherfucking hands because carefully reckless reaches all. It reaches a lot of people. Yes, And I don't you know, I got lawyers listening to my ship. I got a lot of people listening to my ship. Y'all be getting my sister bad hut ten thousand. But do you feel that you will go somewhere else and you

will have the same fucking problem. Not non refund I'm talking about where they can't do it because my doctor medically cleared me to have the because your c v A a k A you know stroke what they told you was a stroke before was back in so my doctor. So I even said to me, and I'm just like, hey, my doctor cleared me. And they're just like, we see that the doctor cleared you because I had I had to um, I had to get the medical clearance forms filled out by doctor. So my doctor said it's okay

for you to do this. I haven't had any any issues since but to a plastic surgey. And you know who's not all about the money, but in this case, I don't know because the money, Yeah, but they would have still just did this. Ship you feel me like, I guess they're more about your They're about your health and their money as well. Not about the health. They just about not wanting a death on their behad. So it's not it's not even about me. It's just they

don't want their name, their reputation. Yeah, well people dying anyway, Yeah, Well, why then are you gonna go down there miss c v A, because I'm not happy with my I was depressed. I'm deppressed, and then that right there goes for the body, this mophea. It's a disorder in my mind. I'm sitting there like, oh, I don't care. I could possibly die on this table, but I don't care. What if I don't die, I can have the body that I want,

my dreams or what I want. Ye, you're right, that's the disorder, because it's really a disorder just knowing that I could possibly die and don't even give a funk. It's really a mental illness, right. So it's like I'm putting my life on the line for something that I could be sitting there winning my casket right like oh yeah, yeah, she was snatched up in that casket, right, and you're

not even here right. No, I'm gonna be on the top like, yeah girl, you look good, caast, get show it, and you're gonna be having all angels, gonna be walking bare and be like you did that because you're never

going You're going. You're not gonna go up there with that body gog going, You're gonna be up and having I'm fucking done, bitch, Moving on all right, so listen, I feel like there are a lot of people that you can look at in the media, famous people that we see every day that has body dys morphia disorder, like Little Kim. Nobody can possibly possibly think that she wanted to look like that, that she wanted to go through all those changes and look like that Black China.

Nobody can actually really sit here and say, not even her, you know, but that she is okay with looking the way that she was look and she's looking better and better now, but all the ship that she had to go through, like Chloe car Dashing, nobody is gonna sit here and tell me that this girl looks in the mirror without makeup and be like, this is my goal, this is what I wanted to look like. This is

what I want to know. It's a disorder. You'll find something wrong with yourself just because, like like you just said, I never even heard you complain about your lips. Now you feel like your lips ain't right, that the bags under your eyes, Like now you know all your peak, bitch, all the ship that you grew up with, and you

were just as beautiful as can be. Like you know what I'm saying it's like, but you've developed this disorder in the last two years, I don't even think it's a disorder, and we can go get diagnosed together, and I think it's a condition because of what we're seeing, you know. So I'm a touch on something else. Like I feel like my entire life since I you know, since I've started to sprout with just having a body and anything, since being a teenager, I feel like I

have always been looked at it for my body. I felt like guys have only come at me and just talked to me and just looked at me for my body, small, waists, big, just like I feel like that was my way of gaining or getting anybody's attention. And then I look at myself and I'm like, damn, it's falling apart. But that's what happens when you get older and you have children.

But it's just like I feel like, damn, like I need to get that old thing back because maybe that's why I don't have anybody, or that's why I'm single, or I felt like, you know, you know, people are looking at me like she is you know, she you know, she got a poopa or you know, like I feel like like I got high Waist James on today and it's just like this ship is sitting in my leg like looking at you, not the foo is looking at me. Yo,

I'm fucking done with you. I've become a Fannie Peck junkie. Yeah, just just just to hide that. And it's just like I'm not I am not going to be happy with myself until I get it cut off. And then, like I said, I don't know how far I'm going to go. I don't want to When I look at the Claremont Twins when I look at little Kim, I don't want to look like them. But it's just like you still want to fix things. Yeah, I want to fix things, but I don't know how far I will go. Yeah.

Like one of my home girls just like you know, she said to me, she was like, you give me a little Kim vibes like I don't like it. She's like, are you gonna be happy with yourself after you actually get this procedure done. I'm just like, I'm like, I don't know. I really don't know. I was just like I want to be happy, but am I really going to be happy? And and I feel like I feel

like I'm I feel like I'm not okay. So I feel like God works in mysterious ways, and I feel like that's why you haven't gotten your money back yet. And honestly, I don't feel like you're not gonna ever get it back. I definitely feel like it's not going to come back unless I se no. But yeah, and and it's fine whether you still or not. I feel like you're gonna get it back. It's just that right now you're not in the head space to do that.

I feel like you needed to get over some things before you get it back and just go give it to another doctor for them to tell you the same thing, or for them to do it. And then you get up and you not even like the ship that they did. I know this, but explain to the listeners why you won't get in the gym. Why can't you just lose your stomach, because that's all you fucking has a stomach. So and then and people people on the outside looking at and people see me on social media and they're like,

you don't need it, you don't need it. You know, you're being lazy, you trying to take the easier There are a waste trainers gems like, yeah, what what is your response to that? So with that, I tell people all the time, you don't see what's under my clothes. What's under my clothes is loose skin. My elasticity is one gone. It's at least like seven pounds of skin

that I literally tuck inside of my clothes. I wear a lot of leggings and stuff like that with the control top or the band that makes um that basically smooth use it out and makes it you know it. It gives off a flatter appearance or more flattering appearance, you know, where people look at me and like, oh, you know, what are you getting there for? You're like, look, you don't know what's on the head until I show somebody. And then when I show people, they're like, oh my gosh,

I didn't know that was onto that. Yeah, because it's not for you to know that it's right. But I just want to wear two piece. I want to wear a bikini and I want I don't want my skin hanging over. I don't want to have to talk my skin inside of a bikini. I just want to wear two piece. That's that's my ultimate goal. I literally I purchased. I don't know if you, um, if you ever heard of someone say, you know, they buy something knowing that they can't fit it, and they will say, like this

is my goal outfit or something like that. Yeah, to be able to fit this. I literally I bought a bikini. It's a Baltimore Ravens bikini. I'm a Ravens fan. Of course you're hater. And I bought this bikini two years ago because I said, I'm gonna I'm gonna get in this one day. I'm gonna get in this. I actually can fit it. But then it's just the skin is in the way. It's in the way, and I have it and it's still my gold bikini. This is what I want to I just wanna I just want to

look right in it. I don't like how my arms hang. Um, I can easily go in the gym. I can work that out, you know. I've had trainers tell me these different exercises that I can do to work that out. But then at the end of it all, I'm just like CARDI do I really want to work it out. I need to be was ain't gonna money to be getting my chick cut off. But people have surgeries where they actually get the bottom of their arm, the hanky part,

they get it cut off. They literally have cosmetic procedures for any and everything, and I feel like I kind of feel like it's sucked up in a way because like these surgeons are really like taking people's money, just capitalizing off of your insecurities, yep, off of people probably having the same thing this b D D. You know, I'm all for getting your money, Like, go ahead and get your money, do your thing, but it's just like at the same time, like damn, like these the funders

are really out here getting rich off of people hating themselves and hating the way that they look when they look in the mirror. I don't I don't like myself when I look at the mirror. I literally can be going to the market and I will change clothes about three times just to go to the day market. And I'm literally just going to the market because I don't

like how my body looks in something. And to me, that goes to when they say just because they make any your size doesn't mean that you need to Because I see ship on people and I'm like, why the fuck would that? Do you have that one? And then I look at myself, and I'm just like, damn, I wonder if anybody else is looking at me, like, why the funk was she wear it? But an actuality? I don't even be looking bad, but in my mind, in my mind, I'm just like, this has to change. I

can't look like this. I can't live like this. The body dysmorphia disorders so bad with me. I literally have dreams about plastic surgery sometimes. And you know the craziest thing about that. People will look at my sister and be like, that's the body I want. Somebody will show your picture to a doctor and be like, that's the body I want. I'm telling you because you still have these small ways and you still have your hips, your ass like people have asked her for years, did she

get her ass done? And like just certain ship like people ask you, you know what I'm saying, And you've never had one look of surgery like ever, and people ask, but that is the body that people are trying to that the bitches pay for that, Like you got thick thighs, thick legs all I want. It's thick legs, Like that's all I want. And then you have people with thick legs that all they want is this. So it's like what you see is not what everybody else see. But

it don't matter what everybody see. It matters about how you feel about yourself. I just really really want you to get some help with that. I did not know that you had b d D. I didn't even know that it was a disorder. You know, I learned something new every day psychiatrist talk to me about it. It's not a cure for it, medication, it's just it's not It's just it's surgery. Yeah, it's I mean, but like like we touched on before, bill surgery. Actually, what I'm saying,

excessive surgery is like cure excessive. It's not like never I mean, never gonna be happy, but that is what y'all feel like y'all have to do. So that would be, in hindsight, the cure, you know what I'm saying. But you'll just be crying yourself forever in your mind, that's just what that is, and be sitting there looking crazy at the end of it all exactly even with you knowing that, you still I feel like you need it.

I still feel like I needed like just knowing even just looking at these celebrities looking at the Claremont Twins looking at a little cam I still I'm looking at them like, oh they look crazy ship, Like oh man, they were really beautiful. And then I'm just like, damn, I'm in the same boat. It's like I had the same mentality. I'm just like in my mind like, damn, I don't want to I don't want to look like them, but I just wanna be a better me. And to

other people, it's nothing wrong with me. But to you, it don't matter. Yeah, it don't matter what nobody else thinks, because that's all you're gonna see at the end of the day, when you look throughout the day, at the top of the day, whatever, when you look in the mirror. Another thing before we go, I want to say, it is a disorder, and I know that it is real because these girls and these guys we're not guys are not exempt from this ship. Guys are getting surgery too.

And the thing is they get all the surgery done, all the surgery done for an image, right and in their mind, you know, because they want to look better and look pretty and everything, but they also want to keep up with what they see as well. They get all this ship done, and then they do that just to take pictures and still edit the funk out of their pictures. That is a disorder for sure. Perfect makeup, perfect body. Now you made up, you're done up, and

you still edit the ship out of your pictures. You see a piece of fat, got a photo shoppy. If I knew how to photoshop, I wouldn't have Bunnings in no picture. If you teach me, I'll do that. But the thing is, you know what I'm saying, like, yoh, my god, yo, buddy is in the coins that got to go. But I ain't laying down to get surgery. I need to walk. I need to walk in like im talking. And look on that note, I'm gonna go get my sisters some help as much as I can.

I'm gonna try to get out my fucking ten thousand dollars back because me excidics, We're coming for you, bitch. And like I don't like that, I don't like that ship. Of course, I would rather them take her money to do I surgery and she fucking die. But I would rather also see her get her hard earned sucking money back, honestly, And I love you, I love you, and it's crazy. I'm like a little saddened by the fact that I know that you have that ship now or whatever. But listen,

it's good to keep encouraging your family, your friends. Although it may go on one and out the other, they would appreciate it. You don't know what they were hear and what will stick in their minds. So just continue to love on those who you feel have these issues. Like my sister's friend. She's telling them, I don't like I don't like the head is talking ship, I don't like the hair that you have this issue and ship like that. Keep talking to them like that. You never know.

One day they may wake up from this fucking bad dream, come up out of this disorder or this condition that they have, and just like that, we're gonna end up. Make sure you tune in next week, so carefully reckless and then my deepest Pam voice peace, peace out yall, and pray for those who have this disorder. Please Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The

Black Effect. For more podcasts from My Heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.