Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and the Black Effects. Hey, y'all, what's going on? Welcome back to yet another Can'tfully Reckless episode with your girl just hilarious and here with me is sheen. I wain't up before you step out and take a piss, say what's up?
What's up? And I don't have to piss? Thank you?
Oh my Ben, you gotta take a shit, all right, So we're gonna jump straight into it. We got another voice memo today, Drumroe, please leave another voice memo. It's not that long, however, it should be good. Now listen when y'all hear these stories, I'm just now hearing them too. Now, when it's a paragraph and it's written or you know, typed, I will skim through it before I do read it.
But I'll be wanting to get my album. I'll be wanting y'all to listen to my first reaction, you know, because it's the first reaction is always like the truest. I don't be reading these stories, and I don't pick them based on how good they are. I just pick them, that's it. And then I hear them when i'm reading them to y'all. So here we are, y'all voice memo.
It's just christ Off. I want to say I'm a big fan.
Of you, been a fan since you was doing videos in your living room with edges. But you grow up.
Yeah, motherfucker. I never did videos in my fucking living room. You you did, I definitely did. But so what But I talked about my head edges back then.
No you did, d I didn't. All right, It's all right, all right, you right, I'm here for it. I'm definitely happy for all your success.
Thank you.
I wish and pray more for you than all your heart hand can hold. So I just want to say you know that I love you, seceily and and honestly.
But I'm reaching out because I need you to fix my mess.
Yeah, now you need me for something that you just came at my poor ass living room and my no edges having ass back in the day. But go ahead, But I'm gonna go ahead and fix your mask because that they will. They will break it down and build you up, won't it. All Right, here we go.
I've been dating this girl.
I wasn't dating this girl for a few months, and everything was beautiful, lovely.
The DOPA means that you're fulfilling.
Everything was on the same frequency vibing, and in the blake of an idol came crashing down. Very transparent, an honest person, and I'm quite direct.
So I was up front of all my.
Flaws and my baggage, and I also, uh, you know, let let it be known what my goals are. I'm very I have a vision, I have a program. I never lied about who I was, who I am, you know, and things of that sort. So one of the flaws that I informed her about, when it began to show itself, she backed out.
I mean, she pulled the road from up under.
My feet and it just all came crashing down. And she basically he told me that she can't give me what I need, even though the things that she that I needed I informed her in the beginning. So I'm asking if I'm crazy for waiting for her.
And wanting to.
Take time for myself and her takes time for herself and wait for.
Her to become what I need. A part of me feels like that I was. I was, genuinely, I ain't gonna.
Say a part the whole part of me was genuinely and sincerely in love with her, and I do see her a wife in her I wanted her to be my wife. We went as far as getting almost getting married, and like I said, it all can't crash you down. For her reasons and her pulling away. You feel what I'm saying. I play a role in that I'm not saying, and it's.
All her doing.
Kind of the reason she pulled away was due to the things that I had already informed her about. I am my room for wanting to wait around and continue to pour into myself, grow and evolve in all aspects and wait for her to basically spin a.
Block on me. And I know that. You know I'm a traditional person.
You feel what I'm saying like I'm a traditional woman, you know. And I believe in love and I love love. And when I know what I want, you feel me. I'm thirty one years old, I'll be thirty two and Desummer shout out to my set of service.
Oh so I'm you know, I know what I want and she is that.
So should I just move on and just let her come to me? Because I'm also a hunter. I go after what I want and I'm not used to things coming after me or things coming to me.
You know, I go after what I want.
So should I just move on and let her go and just just put myself back out there with someone else? Or am I crazy for waiting around or waiting for her to be what I need her to.
Be for me because she is what I want?
Okay? Yeah? I feel you even sound like this is heavy for you, Like this is heavy on you and like you're really really trying to figure it out. It definitely seems like it's a lot there. I want to know what you're speaking of when you say she knew what I was, she knew you know who I was? I you know, because it seems as if you were one with her. You seem like you're straightforward, you're blunting.
You also communicated that to mean you're open with everything, completely transparent and all aspects of this relationship, and it seems like with what was once agreed upon, something changed. She's second thought, you know, second having second thoughts and regretting, you know, second guess and what's you know, what's going on? Yeah, what you thought was salid? Yeah? I want to know, you know, and let me know exactly what that is if you're okay with that? What were you or what
you know? What are you?
Or what you know?
What I'm saying and I'm just repeating it back to you how you you know, presented it to me. You do know, things can change in relationships. Things may be overwhelming, whatever it is, whatever your past is or whatever, you know, whether you want to run, you're a fucking fellon a strip of something, you know, a porn star, whatever it may be.
We gotta that's that's the thing we need to know to know, you know, we need to know what it is that she was accepting of.
Yeah, because things change, Yeah.
But do you feel like it's somebody else? Or yeah?
Did you ever think of that? That's actually a good question. My best friend, you know, she I wouldn't even wouldn't have even thought of that because I'm I'm trying to piece together. I feel like we're talking to Kole's boo. But yeah, or you just probably you know, may not be comfortable enough to share that part of it. But I can't really advise you on whether to stay or goal or to try to fix it or whatever.
The most I can say is, you know, if a person is saying they don't want to be there.
Say she ain't say that she she didn't want to be there. I guess that she's having second thoughts, like is communication?
Well, I was just communicated, Like what are we doing? You know? What's because like, are we're moving forward? All right? Work on it?
Like what's what's the deal? Can it be safe because it's no sitting around. We're not We're not sitting around waiting for anybody. We're moving on and if that person comes around before we end up with someone else, then okay, cool. But I mean it's basically let's talk about it because I'm not gonna sit here and wait for you.
Yeah, I'm not. I'm going to live my life. But I think you should heal.
I think she really needs to heal from whatever it is that they have or have if this person isn't showing them that they want to progress more.
Yeah, and you're talking about marrying her, like you want this to be your wife. This is somebody, this is a life partner in your eyes.
So y'all need to really be having that conversation.
Yeah, because it just doesn't seem like you were on the right page. If you're telling me I'm on the same page. I'm sorry, it doesn't seem like you are on the same Shut the hell up, damn, it don't seem like you two are on the same page. You know. If you're you're expressing these these feelings to me for this woman, that's the communication thing. Y'a gotta sit down and I need to talk about that, and y'all need
to do it quickly, you know, because time. Yeah, we only got time, but we don't have time either, you know. And we shouldn't take time for granted, so many other things that you guys could be doing together or a part if that is what your heart desires, you know what I'm saying, So get on the same page. Put some more meat on his bone if you're comfortable with
doing so. Because I can't fix your mess if you're only give me a little bit of it, you know what I mean, If you really really, I can, but I would rather be able to help you and the entirety of what's going on. You know what I'm saying, So just update me, reach back out, let me know. And also this is important for people to know as well. When I'm helping you guys, or I'm fixing your mess, you can write me and tell me that you don't
want this story to air. If you really just really need advice, you can do that as well, and say I don't want this on the podcast because I.
Have a lot of serious stories that I feel like.
You know, some people wouldn't even want exposed on a social platform. You know, their voices are being heard, and I always joke about it, but you know it's truth in every joke. A lot of people don't want their voices being heard because people know their voices, you know, And a lot of people listen to Carefully Reckless every Wednesday, so you can always, you know, say Jess, this is
just from me to you. If you can find it in your heart to lend me some advice you know what I'm saying, without putting it, without making it a part of your platforms per podcasts, then I greatly appreciate that. And depending on the severity of it, yes, I will help you if I do have time. So I'm for sure if you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. We're moving on now.
This is not a voicemail, though this is a long ass too paragraphs, but I see a little bit of punctuation marks in there, so we should be fine.
All right, Hey.
Jess, First off, I want to say that I'm a huge fan for a long time, since the Facebook DS. Okay, day one, what's going on? I'm reaching out because I need you to fix my mess. I'm twenty five years old. I just finished my career. You finished your career, Okay at twenty five? All right. I'm happily married and I have a wonderful husband.
I know.
That's why congratulation ons. We have been together for nine years, married for five. This man is now. Okay, so you've been with this niggas since you was I mean, you've been with this man since she was sixteen.
That's amazing.
This man is not only a partner, but a provider as well. He takes care of me and of everything that needs to be taken care of. Oh, that's why you ended your career regarding finances, Yes, he takes care of everything. Now. Emotionally, I do think our relationship has shifted a little bit to where I think we're both kind of comfortable. Hm. That's never good. I could say our relationship is very mature. I don't want to say that I'm bored, but it kind of seems like a
routine that we've been doing for so long. I don't know why. Lately I've been wanting to feel an excitement of dating. What I just seems kind of boring now, say this is why y'all need to send in these voice notes the help, all right, I think she's trying to say it just seems kind of boring now, But I just found out that I'm nine weeks pregnant. Okay, congratulations, and he's over the moon.
I know he's happy.
He is planning the baby shower already and looking for names. I see the happiness enjoyed that this news has brought him. I would say that it's brought us closer to talk more about the future with the baby. This would be our first kid. Congrats. My issue is that I don't feel excited. Oh, I have so many emotions, and it makes me feel guilty that I don't feel as happy as he does. I am terrified to carry a baby
because it is such a big responsibility. I thought that I would feel differently being pregnant, but now I just feel like my life and freedom is over. I feel like I can't even act the same anymore because I'm gonna be someone's mother and I need to be more mature. I don't know, I have some moments where I do feel happy and excited that I'm able to experience this.
I just need your point of view help me. I'm a first time all well, first of all, to be able to say that is a blessing in itself, being as though, you know, we have a lot of women out here who can't conceive, who want babies, and there they would give their right panky for a baby. You know, they would give, you know, almost close to their life to be able to produce life.
You know.
So I'm gonna say congratulations, and then just for some people, it's not easy. I know it's not easy. It's not easy getting pregnant for some others. But I am very very happy for you. I do not want you to be so hard on yourself. Oh this is this is natural for a lot of first time moms, no matter the age, no matter you know, whether you're young or older,
it's it's it could be very scary. You're blessed to have a cope who actually is excited though, because imagine being someone who has to do it on their own, you know what I mean. Although he can't carry the baby for you, he can make it a lot easier. You don't have to do it alone. I hate to ask you, why are you going to keep it? Because I imagine that you are. I would love you too again, but it's not my body and it's not your husband's body.
So how do you feel?
Overall? Are you religious at all? Do you pray about things? That's it's eleven to eleven? Hey? Speaking of uh, you know Brandon stuff. Are you religious at all?
You know?
Do you pray? Do you meditate? Do you you know? Do you have a therapist? Is there someone that you feel that you could talk to you other than your husband that will help you feel better about being a mom, because that's important as well.
You know, there was no room issues.
Then yeah, she's just the first time mim' she's scared. Oh let's go back, little boy, she's bored.
Hold up, hold up, I know this shit getting good, but listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Okay, So let's go back before we get to mommy world. Okay, you new mommy world, first time mommy world. Let's say that. I'm so excited for you, girl. I am just happy to hear this. However, prior to finding out that you're nine weeks pregnant, you were getting bored in your marriage. And you've been married for five years, you've been with him
for almost a decade, and you're twenty five. Answering me this, Do you feel like you got married to it or too early and it's nothing else? Being honest about it with me, or being honest about it in general. You know, sometimes as women, we keep things bottled up, and that's how we depress ourselves. We stress ourselves out, we lose weight, you start losing confidence, you know, and just being in our own heads. It's better to talk. It's better to communicate,
you know. I don't care if you have a diary, don't hold it in. Do you feel like you got married too early? Is this something that you and your husband talked about? Does he feel the same way. Have you expressed to him that you feel bored? That you felt bored? Does he feel like I said, does he feel the same way? Did you have your eye on someone else before you were you know, before you discovered you were pregnant, because you did say that you felt the urge to date, to want to date.
So I wonder if she was talking about them dating or her dating outside of them.
Like like them being open no no, no, or just them going on dates more because with each other. Yes, yes, because she did say it was routine right right?
Yeah? Is that things?
You know?
Definitely try a new thing, bucket lists. Yeah, it's time to have fun, trap all that. Yeah, and you said he is financially in doubt. You know, he takes care of everything that needs to be taken care of, so you guys should travel more. I mean, is that something that any guys are in.
It's crazy because she's pregnant now, so it's like, yeah.
But she look at sexy red doing whole performances, being that ass, so shake that ass, how knees on the.
Flow, So you call it her sexy free?
No, I'm not, but no means am I not more like sexy? No? I said she said, you said, now she's pregnant, like they can't.
Treat it's not stopping sexy.
It ain't stopping sexy. She out barefoot just as pregnant, her gene thongs on on the red wig and just doing our things, just she has gene thongs, yes, because they big.
Yeah. Yeah, so don't put on your gene thongs.
Go ahead and go out and have a good time before you your feat swelling.
Yes, girl, I uh, it's just community. Yeah, but I think you should tell me answer all those questions and ask all those questions.
You can revisit.
Yeah, my point of view is just basking. This ambience sounds like this excitement.
Yeah, it sounds like a really good uh.
Good relations It sounds like a great marriage. I know every marriage has its ups and its downs. No marriage is perfect, no, and we've seen that thanks to Will and Jade. But yes we as you know, y'all be good. Yeah, and y'all still young. I don't know how old. Yeah, your husband is, but if he is your age, you know, y'all, y'all still got a lot more life to live even after that. Baby, girl, babies, I'm not gonna sit here and tell you that they don't slow your life down.
But they don't stop your life, that's right. And you already finished your career. So what what you got to do?
And baby, I don't have none?
So yeah, every night, yeah, that night, yeah, baby, look outside every night in the alley. Yeah, okay, living in the damn alley. You don't want to be like that. Oh my god, the soud a damn name. All right, never mind that that, And just like that, we've come to the end of this episode. Her name I did not say. I said Sashika. Okay, all right, so yeah, damn.
So what's that being said?
What's that being said?
Y'all?
Make sure that y'all sending voice notes. And again, like I said, if there are any stories that you do not want exposed on such a huge platform, like carefully Reckless, which is a part of iHeart, and you know it's promoted on bigger platforms, you can definitely just let me know, say, Jazz, Hey, uh, my story is a little too specific and it's a little too much going on for it to be plastered all over the N that and all over other socials,
you know what I'm saying. So I was like, if you can fix my messages between us, and then yeah, boom, and we can do it just like that, if I can get to it, guys, because I am busy as well in life, be life and for everybody, not just y'all. So in my deepest pan voice, me and Shana will be out. Yes, my son is like a little bird. All right, we're gonna do it again.
All right, There we go, There we go, There we go.
Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.