Love to All my Ladies

ones who are not with us anymore. And it's rather ironic that I'm paying homage to moms because I want to dedicate this episode to women and how we need to be cherished, whether you're Black, Asian, Hispanic, white, whatever. This is about women in general and how we need to be cherished and not taking advantage of. So I'm

gonna tell you a story now. This story time is kind of different because this was a story that one of my fans told me in Columbia, South Carolina, where I just play at the comedy house and it's juicy, So grab your tea in your halls because it's story time now. She told me I can say her name, but I'm not gonna say her name because I had the pleasure of meeting her in person and the pleasure of seeing her get terry eyed cried, real tear is

telling me the story. But it all ended beautifully. I just want you to know that years and years ago she met this guy. She said, everything was great. Now, what's been said before. When you meet somebody and it's perfect, that's not the person that you're dating. The person that you're dating is a person that come out after the probation period, after the ninety days, maybe it's even longer than that that they can keep the act up of

the representative. You actually fall in love with the person that they show you that they are the first three to four months, right, that's their representative. Then outcomes the real them, you know, or however long it may take. Everything was perfect, she said. Three years down the line they got a baby. Now, okay, after the baby is when everything went south. And she told me she don't

think it went south because of the baby. It just went south period, because he loves his child, loves his child all over his child to this day, you know what I'm saying, To his day, he's a great father. So it wasn't about the child at all. Let me tell you, she said. The intimacy stopped the compliments stopped gifts for holidays, stopped. I said, did he become a Jehovah's witness? She said, no, everything just kind of stopped. Now. He didn't become a bum. He kept working, always had

a job, always had a ship together. You know what I'm saying, car, all of that. You know, they bought a house together. When they first met, they lived separately. They bought a house together. They both worked great jobs. They were doing good individually individually, but together they started falling. He wasn't making her laugh no more, he was less charming, he didn't really want to touch her. Sex didn't last that long, all of that, so she immediately thought that

he was cheating. She suspected it. It never came out that he was. Of course, you do to going through the phone thing. She never found anything. Did the snoop and ship never found anything. So she was led to believe he was not cheating because she could not prove it. So she let that go. Fast forward three more years later, this is six years. They've been together now, three good years in three trying years. So she said, by this time, it wasn't even I love yous and I missus, or

you look beautiful. It was none of that. She had to say it first. That was the only way he was gonna say I love you or I miss you is if he was putting two on the end of it, because she said it first. So we all know how that feels. She also expressed me that she was feeling unappreciated. She was being taken for granted, like she was just there. After a while, she said, it felt like being with a roommate. They were just roommates. It came down to

no sex her seventh year, her family had to get together. Now. He was always involved with her family, and he still went to outings with her. They just didn't interact behind closed the wars at home. They were just like two mad home girls who lived together. Never talked, didn't mingle, didn't watch TV together. I'm talking about nothing. She said. He would cook, wouldn't make her plate. He would cook because he can cook. He would cook, wouldn't make a plate.

She would have to go and make her own plate. He would not sit down and eat with her like boyfriend and girlfriend, like a family. They didn't. They wouldn't do that anymore. He just started doing things by his lonesome.

There at the family get together. One of her cousins got proposed to not too long before they get together, so all the couples, of course, started talking about marriage and everything, and the cousin asked him, a dumb when you're gonna marry my cousin, y'all see babies, more babies in the future, and the wedding bells, she said. He shrugged his shoulders and threw his hands up, scared the funk.

I asked you a question, whether it's I don't see wedding bells, whether it's yes, of course I'm gonna get married, nigger, You could have lied to paint the picture instead of embarrassing her, missed them in d C. You know what I'm saying, Just a little bit, be like, oh she already baby, don't do you already know when we getting married or something? Even if you have to play like that just to save her the embarrassment, you already ain't there. Mentally,

she'd been feeling it for four years now. She knew in that moment that was it for her. She told me that was the last night she ever wanted to be with him. That was the last night she ever wanted to pull up to the same house with him. That was the last time she ever wanted to be with that man period. She left him that night. That was two years ago. To this day, he is trying to get her back. She ain't trying to go back. She was weak at her. She even told me she

went back before not knowing what our worth was. And then she had to leave again because he was good when she came back. It was like he was scared of losing her, but he didn't want to be with her while he was there. That was kind of crazy. Now, I know a lot of women are going through that ship right now. Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good. But listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. That brings me to the carefully reckless discussion. A lot

of women are going through that ship. I know it right now. If you're listening, I know you're going through it. I've been through it. You know where you feel unappreciated and most of the time you know you're worth You just don't enforce it because, for one, a lot of us have bigger hearts than we know. Our heart is big.

We don't want to leave someone, we don't it's it's a lot of reasons why you stay complacent and why your relationship is stagnant and it starts to go downhill because a lot of people feel like as they get up in age, they don't want to start over. A lot of people they get to the point where I don't want to start over. I got a family member going through a divorce. She was married for thirty some more years. She's in her fifties. I said, Auntie, why

why I take you so long the divorce? And if you knew he was cheating on you all this time? Like she said, yo for real, boo because they call me boo boo. She said, boo boo for real. I just didn't want to start over. Who the hell out here is really looking for a fifty year old? I said, maybe other fifty year olds. I don't know. Ship, you can find you a good thirty five year old if you're lucky. Ship the novelty, the war off on our young asses. No nobody want the lord, young, stupid lord whole.

No more. Ship. Guys need y'all. Real men are looking for y'all. You know, young niggas are looking for y'all because the young bitches ain't doing it no more. All the young bitches is about. It's some money popping pussy and that's it. According to the Internet, that's all young bitches be about. We need those seasoned, rill women. We need those women that know how to treat men. And my aunt was a damn good wife to her husband.

You know what I mean. Sometimes you grow past a certain point and your companion doesn't now listen, This topic is not only for relationships. That was just an example. That was story time. You may be even going through this ship with a family member, Like I had a lot of family members who I've done shipped for. You know, I wasn't appreciate it. I've done ship. I've done it. I've done ship for them. I'm talking about in the midnight hour, you call me, you know I'm listening. I

may be sleep, but I'm up listening. You're my cousin going through some ship. Talk to me what's up? And then when I need the same thing back from you, you ain't no where to be found, or you just think I got it all together because I'm just what the funk you mean, I'm another human being. I'm just a public figure, you know, I'm just a celebrity, you know, or I'm famous. So on, she got it all together, she got money. She good listen, I've been there and

even in relationships where niggas have gotten too comfortable. And no, it's not all about cheating all the time. Sometimes a guy just really may mentally be fucked up, or he may mentally check out, like in story Time, her man she was with her seven years dumb then they get checked out mentally obviously. Now she said she never found no traces of cheating, even that nigga was good at covering his steps, or he just really didn't want to be there anymore, he didn't have a desire to be

with another woman because he would have left her. Instead, she had to leave him, and he'd been trying to get up back of a sense, you never know what you got till it's gone. And that is cliche, but you really gotta listen into it. You can do everything right for a man, everything right for a friend, everything right for a family member. You know what I'm saying. You can cook, you can clean for your man, make sure he come home to dinner on the table. I'm

talking about where he lack. You pick it up because everybody not up. There supposed to be ups and downs in a relationship. Everything is not supposed to always be good, not even with celebrities. It's not. Trust me, it's not. And we've seen some celebrity relationships fall. Ain't nobody perfect. That's why I say, in my mind, nobody should be fucking goals for nobody because we don't know what nobody is going through. Everybody's dealing with something. Trust me, relationships

are meant for trial and tribulation. It's all about the battle. Can y'all come together in battle? So y'all can win a victory? Do you feel me? So y'all can bounce back and be stronger and be best friends. That family member that's keeping a hole on you, ryan your coat, sail, draining you and all of that ship, but don't put your hand out to them because they ain't gonna have nothing for you that ship. Man. It may not even

be money. Whether you're just there for them to vent to you all the time, but when you got to vent, they don't want to listen to you, or they're too busy, or I can't help you because you know what I'm saying. But you're gonna need me again. Your friends friends, certain friends use different friends for different ships, and I've always thought that was wrong, but it's situational. You never know you got different friends for different ships. But you are

never to treat a friend bad. Always treat a friend like you want them to treat you. You feel me, I've lost a lot of friends being there, but in return, I get shipped. If you're feeling unappreciated and you're doing so much for motherfucker's that won't do nothing for you. You got to move on. Like my girl from Story Time, you move on there. We took us seven years, but she eventually gained back that respect and dignity within herself, got the funk up and left. And here's another thing.

You can't expect for people to think like you think. Understand what I'm saying. You may be the most generous fucking person. You may be the most sweetest person. Give your last dime to somebody, give somebody the shirt off your back. Don't think for one second that somebody else will do that just because you've known them for years, just because you've been with them for years, just because

you are related to them. Yeah, y'all got the same blood, but probably not the same characteristics, not the same trait, not the same personality, but the same blood. Do you understand what I'm saying. Yeah, you laid down with this nigga every night, but trust and believe he may not still be thinking like you're thinking. Do not depend on him to think like you think until he proves you wrong,

until he proves otherwise. With your friend, y'all been friends for twenty something year, is still don't think in your mind that she's gonna do each and everything that you do for her for you, and it ain't gonna happen. That's why you have to go in knowing your worth. That's why you have to go in knowing who you are. That's why you have to go in loving yourself, learning not how to give so much and take so little back. You're gonna weigh yourself. Then keep trying to be super

woman for everybody. Ladies, it's not gonna happen. Now. I know this goes both ways because there are men being used up as well, but right now I'm dedicating this to my women. Happy belated Mother's Day. Now. I was in a situation where a guy got comfortable he was living with me. He got super comfortable. When I met at me at a job, everything was great, everything was great. Oh my god, I started making good money, I started being on TV. Oh we quit his job. Oh yeah, this,

this is what I'm doing. I'm about to reap these benefits. Um you know what I'm saying. You get comfortable, you get comfortable, you get complacent in your relationship, goes stagnant, and you go nowhere, and you're growing. You're growing spiritually, you're growing mentally, you're growing the funk up I'm talking

about financially even bit you're trying to boss up. And then you got this person who's not this person who's just sitting in the corner watching you, expecting for you to break a piece of your growth and give it to them, expecting that Women, we are too good. Our hearts are so big, We take so much ship, and yet nobody checks on us. Yet nobody says, you know what, I'm sorry. Let me get you some flowers, yet nobody says, you know what. Let me cook for you, let me

take you out. Let me just call you and see how your day been. Let me just tell you you're beautiful. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. And that brings me to just fix my mess now. Of course, y'all know, I always turned to y'all online with my Twitter, my Facebook, and Instagram, and I ask y'all so y'all can share your experiences with me about the topics in which we discussed during Carefully Reckless. So I said, have you ever

felt unappreciated? Like you try hard and you still get nothing. You know your worth, but you don't enforce it, therefore you stay? Why tell me about it? I'm gonna read off a couple pan Marie Q says everything I do ain't good enough for my mom. I try so hard, but she don't see it. She act like I won't run away, but I don't got no car, so I gotta stay and y'all stop playing with me, like stop, hey, yo, stop playing Pan Marie, like for real, y'all take your

lott ass in the house. That's it. You ain't running away, yo, y'all agreez Yeta Underscore Mode says yes, I actually recently reflected on why I'm not big on holidays slash birthdays, and it's because I've never been celebrated but I often celebrate others. That's the ship I'm talking about. That's the ship I'm talking about. Now. I'm not telling you to change who you are, because you shouldn't let somebody else's

behavior define you as a person. If you are celebratory of others, still be that way, but require the motherfucker's to reciprocate it. Do you understand or you might have to fall back a little bit, start celebrating motherfucker's to celebrate you. That's what that is, because if it's genuine love between you two, it's automatically gonna be reciprocated because that person is gonna feel an obligation, not a favor.

Underscore waw waw waw waw waw me I feel for me personally, it's the starting over falling again part that I'm afraid of not being alone or letting go, but having to start all over. So I stay and I tried my best to make it work, but it usually doesn't. Well, it sounds like you've done this more than once, baby, And maybe that's why your Instagram name is wy waw waw waw way me, because you didn't did that for every why you got so that's five wise in your name.

You don't did this ship five times? I feel and I know a lot of you are probably laughing and ship, but no, I see a message and everything and baby, that's your name. That's a cry for help. Your Instagram handles a cry for help why me? Because you keep attracting the same thing, and you know why, because that's something within you you need to figure out. You need to learn your worth. You don't know it, or you wouldn't be asking why why me, and you wouldn't keep

on getting in these sames situations. It's only gonna keep happening unto you if you keep repeating the cycle. You are the exact example of giving more. Then you get giving yourself, your whole self and nothing but yourself, And people don't reciprocate that to you, and you don't require them to either. So that's why why Wow, Why it

keeps happening to you? I underscore can underscore, only underscore be underscore, Tiff says, My reason is because you care about that person so much and you hope they'll see you trying and match you, or because you care about them so much that you actually want to do for them despite them not reciprocating the same. Mostly it's out of love and or genuine care. We can't help the fact that some of us are built different with the heart to care, nurture and provide. We get hurt the

most too. And yes, you are right, because I was one of those people before. You are absolutely right. I was one of them, so I know, but I realized after le didn't. It happened to me not once, but twice, and it ain't gonna be a third time. And I want to reflect on what you said. You said, we can't help the fact that some of us are built different with the heart to care, nurture and provide. Yes, you can help that. I'm not saying you have to

be different, but you can help that. You can because you don't have to do it for everybody, and you don't have to do it so much. If you know you keep getting the shitty end of the stick, stop playing with that stick. You gotta find a good stick where it ends. Don't get shitty. Do you understand what I'm saying? All right now, this is a long one,

but this is the last one I'm gonna read. And this is what I want to spend the most time on Eunica Senta says, girl, Yes, my husband and I have been together for eleven years and a lot has happened. He lost both of his parents, so I said, okay, he needs me. I'm gonna build him up so he can return the favor and build me. But the grief was too much. He started drinking real bad and I left just for him to all me crying, begging me for abortion money because he got some random bitch pregnant.

When I left him, he had a good job and a car, just drinking real bad child. When he called me begging for that abortion money, my heart broke, not because of the pregnancy, but because I had never seen him at such a low point. All his utilities was off. He lost his job and car like he morphed into a fucking bum. Then here go my captain, save a whole ass, tell him I'd help him get back on

his feet. Did not give him the abortion money though, because ha, that's what you get, and the process of helping him get back on his feet, I fell back in love with him. Now my baby is one year sober and we're still striving for greatness. I know, dot dot dot, I'm a dumb bitch, his dumb bitch. First of all, how the funk? Wait a minute, Wait a minute, scared because I didn't read the end of that. I read the beginning of it, and I said, Okay, this

is what I'm gonna use. This is pretty good. First of all, it's a couple of things I want to say. You said his utilities was off, but as Dick wasn't off because he damn sure made a baby. Okay, a baby he didn't want, but he made one. And I get it. You're going through ship. A lot of times people can use their issues to play on people. They use that for manipulation to get what they need from others. Now that's not what happened in her case, because she

said her baby has been sober for one year. And I love it. I love it. I love the end. But I want to get back to you what you said. I know I'm a dumb bitch, his dumb bitch. How are you dumb? That's what I want you to think about it. Listen, you're not dumb. You left when you seen there was a situation that you just couldn't be a part of anymore. He called you, he didn't call

nobody else. He called you, obviously because you meant that much to him, and he saw more than just the lover, and you obviously saw a friend because any n that I'm with when I leave, he called me for money for my fucking abortion. For another bitch, I don't even need to finish the sentence because I know. Let me get a amen, because what the hell? You're better than me. Let's just say that. But obviously you know him better. And he's not the average manipulator. He's not the average

person who does this ship. He's not the average user. He loves you. He loved you enough to accept your help. You were feeling unappreciated for a while, he was going through some ship, and you helped him while he was on his last leg. And now he appreciates you. And the end said, and we're still striving for greatness. And

I love that. Don't you ever in your life call yourself a dumb bitch for helping the man that you have always loved just because he left you and made a baby that he asked you to help him financially abort. And now I know that sound a little crazy, easy I was, I know it, and I know it did, and it still does to me. But things work out differently for different people, and that's all that is. And I'm in dead on that. I love you very much

to be hard. So listen, ladies. If no one has ever told you, no one I'm talking about, no, if no one ever tells you, if your man ain't tell you in a long time, if your friends don't tell you, if your friends don't check on you. You know, I want to know how you're doing. Are you okay? You know? I love you, I miss you. I don't even know you. Just just listen to these words. Close your eyes and listen to these words. You are beautiful, You are enough.

And if you keep on letting them walk all over you or not walk at all, if you keep doing all the walking, you need to walk the funk on and not look back. Because if you ain't trying to walk with me, then you that means you behind me. And I don't need you to be behind me. You can't appreciate me behind me. You need to be beside me. You need to love me as my family member. You

need to love me. You need to give me the respect I give you, because at the end of the day, all we have is family, and some people don't even got that. Some people look more for loving friends than their fucking family because they don't have that family dynamic. So be that friend that you want me to be for you, or I ain't gonna be your damn friend no more. And trust me with the love I give you, You're gonna miss it and you're gonna need me before

I need you. And I know y'all have said that to somebody, And I know y'all feeling that burning down in your soul because for real, his motherfucker's out here that you didn't cut off, that still probably calls you because they need you. But when you needed them, they weren't there. That's why they're cut off. And if they're not cut their ass off. And on that note, I love all my beautiful ladies. Happy belated Mother's Day to my mother's I love you, guys, and I know y'all

love me back. Make sure y'all turn and every Wednesday on hump Day for carefully Reckless and just like that peace. Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app Apple podcast or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.