Love Drought

reading again. You guys feel free to send in voice notes and voice memos if you don't want to type, if it's too long, or if you feel like I won't read it right or read it how you would say it. And if you don't use punctuation marks and ship and you try to sending me long run on sentences, please send your voice notes please. They're much needed and they're much appreciated. All Right, First, Hey, just me and

my boyfriend have been together for one year. We lived four hours away from each other and see each other probably four to eight days out of the month. I just turned twenty nine and he's about to turn twenty six. I fully trust him. People think I'm not even when I say that, but I've never been insecure, and he

hasn't given me a reason to be insecure. Recently, he's been making jokes about how I don't want to have sex as often as him, and I ended up telling him my sex drive was low and I just don't know why I'm attracted to him. And the sex is good, but I just don't care to do it that often. A week after he came from visiting me, he posted on his I G Close Friends story that baby, we've grown all that not tonight ship will get you replaced.

I confronted him about it, and he said it was just a funny repost and then gave me a dry ass sorry. I went back and looked at his story and he had removed me from his close friends. I do not feel like he sorry at all. I feel like he was only sorry because I saw it. The last time you visited me, we had sex three times out of the five days he stayed with me. That's enough for me, but clearly he has a problem. Instead of talking to me about it, he's making jokes and

posting memes. I don't like him being insensitive and insinuating that I could be replaced. I told him this, and he's being dismissive, and I really don't like that he removed me from his close friends. What would you do in this situation? First of all, let's just start here. He is acting his age. He's twenty five, you are on your way to thirty. I know you've heard this, but I'm gonna just say it again for your benefit and so you know that it's very real and it's

not just the myth. Women do mature faster than ment We know what we want faster than they do. We know how to make decisions and to be more responsible and how to be less reckless when we're dealing with other people's feelings that we love and that we care about. When we're in relationships, it's not just about us anymore. We can't be as selfish. I do think that, um, he's being selfish with his actions in this particular situation.

You're about to be thirty, he's about to be twenty six, so he's really mentally twenty three still, and you are mentally thirty three right now. No, he should not be making jokes about it, using means about it, especially if it's something that bothers you if it's something that didn't bother you, I wouldn't see a problem with it. But since you voiced how it makes you feel, which is not good, and it bothers you, I think that he should have taken heed to that. I mean, because you

obviously disagree with it. So if you're my boyfriend, UM, I don't care how many hours away we live from each other and and whatever. If we're in a relationship, we are committed to one another. No, we don't need to be married for us to be committed. We are in a relationship. We're a boyfriend a girlfriend, and we are in a committed relationship. It's a bond that we have. And I feel like instead of talking to me, yes,

you're going and you're involving everyone else. You're close friends, whether it's all your followers or only fans, are only fucking too close friends, it's still not me. You need to communicate this with me. I do find that to be a problem in your relationship. Now you've already told him this and he keeps on doing it, and then for him to remove you, that is a sign of dishonesty. It's a sign of dishonesty, and Um, I wouldn't go

as far as to say it's toxic. However, it seems as if it's taking a turn for the worst, and this could be the beginning of a downhill because it shows you that he's hiding something, not another girl, not you know, but he's going to continue to make these jokes and these memes and you know it relates to you, and you know he is talking about you. I mean,

females do that all the time. Males are doing it as well, but it's a female thing to do to go online and post all your damn business instead of talking to the person that's involved in the business that you're posting about. I mean, I just don't see why he's still doing it after you told him, you voiced it, you made it verbal. That would be a problem if you didn't, because a lot of times women we like

to just assume that men know what we're thinking. No, girl, no, I'm not saying that they're dumb as a box of bricks, but they ain't smarter than a fifth grader either, so you get what I'm saying. Now for you, you said your sex drive is very low and you don't know why are you curious enough to see why would you like to see why or are you okay with having a low sex drive? It could be something that you're okay with. I'm going to also tell you this, in

a relationship, there has to be compromised. He is younger, so yes, the sex drive is higher than yours. But you're not even old. You're twenty nine, you're thirty. In my relationship currently, I'm in a relationship with a forty year old. I'm thirty. My sex drive is highs Hell, his was low in the beginning, and then he caught up to mine. That was compromised on his end, and I think that there's fixing here. Um, he just needs to grow up a little bit or a lot of

bit and realize everything is not for the internet. Everything is not as you can see. We see relationships fail all the time due to the Internet, due to posting and just needing validation from others. As it relates to your personal life. You don't need to be validated by your followers or your close friends. Something so close to you, something so personal, which is your fucking relationship. I think

there needs to be another conversation. And um, the fact that you guys lived four hours away and you guys see each other four to eight days out of the month, and you says you do trust him. That is a little strenuous, especially for a guy as young as he is. I'm going to say in his defense, he's trying to hunch and much all he can. He only gets to see you a week out of a month, so he wants to hunch every day all day that he gets

to see you. And I do understand that. However, the online thing is the only thing that I do have a problem with. But as far as you just for the sake of sacrifice and compromise, Um, if you want your relationship, I would go get checked out and see why, exactly why your sex drive is low. I would try to do things to prevent dryness. I don't know if it's that your box is dry and you don't know, you know, or you may just not have a desire

to have sex all the time. If that's what it is, that's just what it is, and he has to understand that or you guys aren't gonna work. You know, we can already see how it's turning out now, and you guys only been together for a year. So um, if it's something that you really want. Yes, baby girl, I would say, keep communicating that, keep communicating it, you know, and be serious and stand firm, you know, not disrespectful, but staying firm, because he may not take you serious.

How are you saying it? What is your addiction? What is your tone own? Where are you coming from? What is your demeanor when you're talking to him? And speaking to him? You know? And then removing you from close friends is kind of iffy. But I'm just gonna let you know. I would not want to be and my boyfriend's close friends. Okay, I don't even follow my boyfriend. Should my boyfriend on even follow me? I think that's best, you know, because then I would be reluctant to stay

up under them comments like who who look? Who looking? And who liking? And who comment? You know, but check back in with me, check back in with me? Hold up, hold up, I know the ship getting good, but listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen all right. Next, Hey Jess, please fix my mess. I would have done a voicemail, but my husband is sitting right here. Oh my god. But anyway, I'm writing because I think that I am

at my breaking point with my stepson. My husband and I have been married for five years and together for six. Yes, we move fast l O l any who. My stepson has always been a problem child since the day I met him, from his misbehaving at school to just saying disrespectful things. His mom is even worse. She is a ghetto bird and never have I ever had to deal with the baby mama until I met my husband. A

lot of his issues I feel come from here. She belittles him and calls him names and is always putting him down. My husband's time has been reduced to weekends because she is always on some bullshit and drama. There was a time when I wanted my husband to go for full custody, but over the years I find it that I rarely want him around. He doesn't care about school. He has an I e. P. And I think that contributes to it, and he takes no interest in learning.

He curses, and it's always creating some type of drama with my son, who was a few years younger than him. His mom and his grandmother is always comparing him to my son and saying what my husband does for him, So I feel they created some type of jealousy streak and envy in him against my son. He fights his mom. Just the other day, he pushed me, oh shout. I really was about to knock a little kid out, but

his dad ran in. I wouldn't really hit him, but he was going to know not to disrespect me like that. He has punched a girl in the stomach and fought another boy so far this school year. I'm sorry to say, but I don't think I want him around my other children. I've been trying to help my husband with him all these years, and I'm now tired of it. I'm seriously considering leaving my husband over this because I don't feel I'm obligated to deal with his disrespect and abuse to

me or my other children. His dad is always making excuses for him as well. I don't want my husband to have to choose between us and his other child, which should I do? And I do want to remain anonymous. Okay, baby, you have just said that twice, and I understand your husband is sitting right next to you. Girl. You better hope he don't glance over and be like, who are you writing a goddamn essay to and hope that he don't snatch the phone and see that you're writing some

shing about him and his son. All right, now, let me help you. For most of all, I do sincerely apologize that you are going through this. Children are not the easiest to deal with, No, they're not. Have you tried to sit down and talk to the child, not even with his father around? Obviously he is far gone. You haven't told me his exact age, but you did say that he has no desire in learning, he curses and all that. So I'm guessing that he's a teenager.

If I'm wrong, please come back with an update and correct me. But I'm just gonna go with him being a teenager for now. And your child, your other son is a few years younger. I think for the safety and the sake of you know, your sanity, it deserves a lot more communication with the boy. There are so many different ways that you can go if you don't want to talk to him, if you feel like you can't get through to him. Now, you did tell me

that there was a lot of baby mama drama. Now is that with you or is that just with the child? Is that just between your husband and his son's mother, Like, what what is that? Because if she's never given you a problem directly where she doesn't like you or anything like that, I think that you should actually have a conversation with her and you would not be overstepping your boundaries because you are the father of her child's wife

like you are her ex's wife. You guys live in the same home together, you guys have a household, and now you have a conjoint family. Your stepson is her son. So while I do understand your frustration and you're even thinking about leaving your husband, like you're really contemplating a divorce over this child, I think before you do that there needs to be other actions taking you are completely happy with your husband, I canna tell this is just the only thing in your way. And then how far

into the teenage phase is he? Is he sixteen? Is he's seventeen? If so, you only got a few more years to go to stick it out. I'm not one two enforce being the ruble in any way, but I think that's a conversation for you and your husband as well. Like listen, sit him down and talk to him, talk to him, just like you talk to me. Look, it's

been a lot. This has been a journey with this kid, with with your son, and while I love him like he is mine, this is bringing me to my my breaking point his behavior, And I don't want you to have to choose, but I am thinking, like seriously have been contemplating leaving you. You know. I think that that needs to be something that you really take more time to think about, and that you should bring it up to your husband so he can really really put into

perspective all that is at stake right now. It's not just about him anymore. It's about he and his wife and his other children that he now has. It's not just about his oldest baby anymore. He has to share his dad, and he has to share his household, the one that he lives in with the dad. And then also I want to point out something that you said to me, that his visitation was reduced to weekends because the mom just be on some bullshit and all of that.

Is it really that bad his behavior bothers you that bad that you can't deal with it two days out of the week. Um, it must be horrible. I'm not trying to discredit what you're telling me. I'm not trying to downplay were you're telling me. I'm just asking. I'm just trying to get a full understanding just how bad his behavior is if you can't deal with it on the weekends because he's not with you during the week so god damn. Really, Yeah, that's the conversation that you

just have to have with your husband. It starts with you and your husband first, and then it continues with you in the sun, and then if there aren't any issues, or if you feel like you can talk to her, the mother, that is that I would have a conversation with his mother. You said she belittles him and all of that. I'm not sure if you were talking about the son or your husband that she belittles and she disrespects, and you talked shipped too. If it's the sun, that's

exactly where it comes from. That's exactly where it comes from. If she belittle as the sun, or if she talks ship to the sun, or you know, she may be the reason for a lot of his behavioral issues. You know, I used to work with kids, and a lot of that ship starts at home. Sometimes it does not, but a lot of times it does, and a lot of times it's rooted from childhood. So if the mom has always been that way, that's where it's coming from, you know. And then the dad making excuses is just him not

trying to give up on his son. However, he needs to take some type of action because, um, we ain't doing no disrespect, not in our households. No, no, we're not. I don't care if I'm married in to this family. I you will respect me as your stepmother. You said he pushed you, he has hit he has punched a girl in the stomach. Yeah, that's my little motherfucker need a boot camp. I'm sorry about it, but not come

to tell you. Yes, he needs his asks whipped like for real, because I wonder what the husband did before you laid hands on him. When your husband found out that his son had pushed you, what the fund did he do? Okay, but again rule number one, communicate and be honest. Talk to him like you talked to me.

Don't beat around a damn bush girl. You need to let him know because this obviously is affecting you in your own home and you are concerned for the safety of your other children, you know, and I understand that that is where I would draw the line, and I would have to go, you don't get some help for this boy, for this little boy, you know who I dearly love as one of my own. We cannot do this in this marriage. We cannot co exist in this marriage. This is not right, you know. And he's just gonna

have to respect that. Um, But keep me posted, keep me posted. I hope I helped you. I feel for you. I'm very very sorry about that, honey. But let me know. And lastly, before we get out of here, I have an up date. Okay. So this woman had wrote a couple of weeks back and she was saying that she was talking to this guy and they for the first couple of months they were dating and they were sexually involved, and she had ended up getting pregnant by the guy

and they both collectively agreed to terminate the baby. And then he had gotten too some legal trouble and they were still dealing with each other, but he got into some legal trouble when he came home and he had found out that he had had a baby on the way and he had told her about it, and um, she just wanted to know what to do because he was just strictly gonna co parent with the other girl who had gotten pregnant and actually had the baby, and

she was wondering what she should do because he really wants to be with her, but he just has a baby now and he's not with the other baby mother. So here's the update. I'm going to read it. Thank you for responding on the show. He wasn't being honest at all. He was selling the dream of a relationship to his baby mother and another girl who he's entertaining in another state. I'm done for good. See how JE

can fix your goddamn mess? You see dd c D. You see I told you, I told you girl it could have been And look, let me stop because I don't even want to beat I told you type. I can't be that type of therapist. I told you, I told you not that donna make somebody cut their damn reous I'm sorry, no, now, I gave you a bunch of different dilemas. I did say that maybe what it is he he may be lying about not working with this girl at all. He may be lying about just

wanting to co parent and ship. And I told you, I said, look, he might have been working with that girl long before you. He could have been working with at the same time as you, or could have been sucking with it right after you. But the fact still remains the same that he got a baby. Y'all terminated. Y'alls for the right reasons, Like I said, because you guys barely knew each other and you were having unprotected sex, which is not good. It's a recipe for a baby.

I'm gonna tell you, unless you want birth control, and you are not, and you still, even with birth control, need to use protection because you don't know these men out here and they don't know you got me. So you did a very very good job by leaving that ass alone. I'm very very happy that you did that, because now look, you've then dodged a goddamn bullet, heat too time and a baby mama, and he got another bitch in another state. You keep on keeping on, girl.

You are worth it. You are beautiful, and you are loved all right, and there will be somebody who will love you and give you a baby when the time is right, and probably even walk your ways down the aisle if that is what you desire. And just like that, we've come to yet the end of another carefully reckless what's your girl just hilarious. I love you guys so very much. Tune into Reckless Discussions tonight. We got London back next week, y'all. I know y'all been asking where

she's been. I didn't kick her off. The girl went to Mexico and she had to miss the four episodes because we shoot four episodes in one day, So tune in tonight. Reckless Discussions is only on YouTube, and tune into Carefully Reckless each and every Wednesday at seven am. Peace to clad Love. Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.