Liar Liar

So today's topic is about lies. There's a story in a bible. Y'all know I'm spiritual. Let me get into this. Two women they were pregnant at the same time. They both had their babies at the same time. They went to sleep. One of the mothers rolled over on her baby and smothered her baby. When she realized that she had smothered and killed her baby, she switched her baby out with the living baby. She put her dead baby on the chest of the other mother and took the

living baby and put that baby on her chest. The next morning, when they woke up, the lady who had the dead baby on her chest was in awe. She was shocked. She was crying frantic that her baby was dead. Now, when she further examined this baby, she realized this ain't my baby. So she went to the other woman. She said, hey, what's going on. This is your baby. The other lady said, no, no, no, that's your baby. You rolled over on your baby, you

killed your baby, you smothered your baby. This is my baby. They went back and forth with each other for a while. The king came in and they told him the story. Now, this lady was still lying, this is my baby. She trying to take my baby when she knows she killed her baby. Knowing damn well that she was lying, right, the King said, okay, cool, cut all of us out, cut the living child into two pieces, and give half to the one woman and give the other half to

the other woman. So the mother of the living baby was deeply moved. Man, She was deeply moved over her son. So she said, listen, forget it. Please, don't cause no harm, said the baby. Don't kill the baby. If it has to come down to you killing the baby, just give her the baby. It's fine, although it's it was her baby. She was deeply moved by the fact that he was gonna slit this baby into two and give them both

a piece of it. So she said, you know what, forget it, just give the baby to her, although that was her child. The other lady said, he shall be neither mine nor yours. Cut him. Then the king said, give the first woman, who was pleading for his life, the living child, and by no means kill him. She is the mother. Now listen, that lady was selfish, selfish

as hell. That's one of the stories in the Bible that move means, one of my favorite stories because it's like you got those people that exist today, that are living today, who would lie so badly to get ahead or to get away with something. Now she knows she killed that child, she couldn't even have enough remorse and enough grief in her heart to really tell the trip. And then back in those days, God really really came down on you hard. If you ain't never read the Bible,

you need to get into it. Y'all think y'all y'all are gangsters today, y'all think killing is at an all time how today, y'all think ship is reckless today? Man, God was getting with niggas in the Bible. Man, I'm talking about like it's ship that you couldn't come back from you know what I mean, if you disobeyed him, if you didn't live by his commandments and his statues, like yo, it was a way that he would get

you about it. There this woman so selfishly took this woman's baby, And how could you swap out your dead baby who just died for another woman's baby, like it's nothing, like she wasn't gonna wake up and realize this ain't my baby. That brings me deeper into the topic lies. Now, there are all kinds of lies, white lies, reasonable lines, deceitful lies, lies that that can help you get away with ship, lies that can't. Not everybody in lies in

their life. But you have habitual liars, compulsive liars, all kinds of liars. You've got people that can lie and change someone else's life. Like that one lie that that woman told in the Bible ultimately could have changed both of their lives for the worst. The king could have believed the woman had he not say okay, let's slip this baby down, and half surety was all for it. She was all for King Solomon killing that other baby, all because she had killed hers by mistake, didn't even

kill her baby on purpose. But you have no heart. You can lie like that with no regard for the next person. You have no heart. There are real people like that in this world today. Now, there are times that I've told lies to get ahead. I'm gonna let y'all know, carefully, reckless discussion. I'm gonna tell y'all I've told a lie to get where I am today. Let me tell you so. Back when I was doing videos

and ship, I had a desk job. I used to work at this place called Team Together, Everyone Achieves More. I used to work with children, teenagers, middle schoolers, you know, elements from elementary school to high schools. I was a receptionist at a PRP company. And this was back when Instagram videos were about fifteen seconds. I was making videos. Now. A lot of y'all who are listening knew me back in this time because a lot of y'all all my day ones love y'all to death for it. I wasn't

always doing stand up. I kind of like got into that. My older brother DESI, who I tour with now, kind of pushed me into that direction. Never wanted to do stand up, never grew up on stand up, never studied the art of it or anything until I got into it about four years ago. By then my videos were surfacing and circulating the net and going viral and ship. Martin Lawrence's brother reached out to me and he said, Hey,

my name is Rob Lawrence. I wanted to let you know, Martin, my brother has taken a liking to your videos and he loves how creative you are, and he wants to know if you would love to do a project with him. I said, what, nigga, what you already know? What's up with me? I didn't believe it was Martin, though, so he called me when he got around Martin and let me speak to him now listening Like I said, I never grew up on stand up comedy, but I grew

up however, on Martin sitcom. Everybody and their mother grew up on Martin. I don't care what you say. Even if you're never watching, you better act like you did, because that will get your black cart revoked real quick. That will get your ass beating up. Don't never say I ain't watching Martin growing up. I was so astonished. I was shocked. I'm like, yo, hold up, Martin loves my videos. I heard his voice he said, hey, how are you doing. I'm like, hey, y'all, what's up? He said, yeah,

you know him from her let's sen there. I know everything about you. He said, okay, do you do stand up? Now? Listen. I know that I had never done it before. I ain't only been on stage twice. Tried that ship twice at an open mic at a small OTTLD bar in my city. That's not even something that I was taking serious. It was just something that I did because my brother

threw me up there. I had only been on stage twice for all of thirty seconds to two minutes people, and this man asked me that I do stand up and I said, hell yeah, lie like a motherfucker. He said, how long you've been doing stand up? I said, Ship, a couple of years. You know something I knew to this, Nick, I'm true to this, lying in like a bit, palm sweaty and everything. He said, okay, So you know I'm

on a tour right. This was the what Now Tour two thousand and sixteen, he said, and I'll be coming to Baltimore City performing that the arena. I wanted to know if you would like to open up for me? I said, what I like to open up, nigga. I said, Nigga, you already know I'm gonna open up for you. How much time you need me do? He said, how much time can you do? Now? Listen, y'all already told y'all, yoll, I had only been on stage for about thirty seconds to a minute or two. You know what I'm saying.

I was real new to this nigked I said, man, this ship I about thirty minutes, you know, so I can do whatever you need me do. Ship, it ain't nothing. He's like, all right, the show is in three days. I'm gona had my brother send you all information or whatever. Get down there. I'm gonna set you up nice in the green room or whatever. I want you to come on be a guest spot. That's ten minutes. When I tell y'all, ten minutes felt like a fucking hour, bro. Listen.

I went to my brother, I said, your more just reached out, Yo, this nigga want me open up for him? He said, all right, So what then are you gonna do? I said, I'm open up for him. But I only got thirty seconds of material. He said thirty seconds, oh b but we're about to sit down and right for three days straight. My brother helped me right ten minutes of comedy, my nigga ten minutes. I felt good about it. I did because I ain't never been shy. I ain't

never been stage fright, bitch. I ain't never been scared to talk to nobody. All it is is talking, you know what I'm saying. I never been scared. I was just nervous because I had never done this ship before. And I lied to a legend. I lied just to get on this man stage. I lied just to get in the presence of Martin Lawrence. I lied just to meet this nigga. Yes, nigga, I lied about everything. So

fast forward, show night, right, showtime. I had my nice little burgundy uh pants suit on, had my nice little wig done, you know me, had on something like you know, some little kitten heels and ship. Now mind you, I'm a tom girl. I ain't never did this ship no head. You know what I'm saying. I don't dress like that. I usually rock a pair Nike and Forces with a sweatsuit, throw my head up in the bun or whatever got my braids or whatever. Tom Girl at its finest, Nah,

I was like ship this. Martin went to Express, got me a nice pant suit, put it on. I went down there, walked in like I was Monique bitch. I'm like, ship, I'm here to open up for Martin. I went out there. I didn't see him before, because you know, when you were headlining, you arrived late, then you don't want nobody all in your face, not even the people that opened up for you. My nigga, they called my name just hilarious. Now this is my city, this Baltimore City, so they

automatically standing up for me. Now people knew me not for stand up, but they knew me for my online videos, me going viral and ship. You know what I'm saying. That's how they knew me. So I was still popular within my own city. I was locally big. So them niggas went all for me. I'm talking about yeah, screaming for me like that. Why the ten minutes that my brother helped me right, went out there. When the ship stopped, they stopped clapping, ready for the jokes. I forgot all

that ship, nigger, I ain't know. It was so many people, thirteen thousand people my third time on st age, a sold out arena, Baltimore City. They stood up for me and didn't even know. I know half funking was confused. I hold up, I ain't know this bitch didn't no motherfucking stand up, nigga. I rocked that ship, rock that ship. I don't even remember what the funk I was saying. I seen my people standing up for me. I felt good to be in my city. I felt that love. Man.

I talked my ship for ten minutes plus. Now listen, Like I said, I had never studied comedy. I never studied, so I did. I didn't know the rules of comedy. And you are never supposed to go over your time, especially not on nobody else's show. My nigga, man, I did about thirteen minutes. I did thirteen minutes and thirty seconds. It was a clock on the stage went over three minutes and thirty seconds. I killed that ship. I got off stage. Martin was right dead, nigga. He said, oh,

you're good, you're good, You're good. He gave me that stamp of approval. I've been doing that ship ever since. That ship felt good. But that's a time I've lied to get ahead. Now you've got people that lie like that, that lie led me to all of my fucking success today and stand up comedy. That ship got me, got me on stages that I thought I would never hit. I don't opened up for Mike Epps, you know what I mean. I don't opened up for Bruce. Bruce. OU don't opened up for d Ray. You know some some

of people that I'm drawing a blank right now. But Monique, I've opened up for. You know a lot of big comics. I love it felt good. I was on the Girl's Night Out tour, Kim Whitley, Kim Cole's Melanie Camacha Adele givings my nigga. I'd i'd have met some of the great touch hands, rubbed elbows with some of the greatest comedians that y'all used to watch on comic view. That

ship feels good? Oh because I lied. I lied. Now, if Martin listening to this ship, then he know now because I ain't never say, hey, y'o, look y'all, I was lying. I ain't. I ain't never do comedy for real. Hey, I wasn't gonna do that ship. But if you listen to now, he'll know. But that was the time I've lied to get ahead. Now we got a commercial and if you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm

gonna beat your ass. Listen, which brings me to jest fix my mess segment now, I wentn't line enough as y'all. A time you lied to get ahead or get away with something, but it didn't work, or it did work, y'all shared your personal experience with me, and I'm gonna read a cup off now. A lot of y'all wanted to remain anonymous because y'all got some ship with y'all. Let me go ahead and read some of these off now.

One of my ladies wrote me and said I was working with this nigga and started sucking with his brother as well. I got pregnant, but didn't know which one of them I was pregnant by, so I took the high road and picked the one who had the most money because I knew he could provide for my child. I was very scared to get an abortion, so I

just didn't. By the time my daughter got here, one of the brothers were killed in a hit and run, so it really never made any sense to get a paternity test or to speak up about not knowing which one of the brothers could be the father. So you got away with that, bitch, And listen, I'm calling you a bit because that's some fucked up ship. You know what I'm saying. I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry. That's trifling, that's fucked up. You should question yourself as a woman.

You had no dignity. You should feel horrible every day you fucking wake up. Do you understand what I'm saying, because it's not about you. It's not about the brother. It's not about the other brother even resting in peace right now. It's about that baby. It's about your child. She's gonna grow up and no, she's not gonna have to wonder who the funk our father is. But she deserves to know. She ain't going to wonder because you know that this is gonna be a lifelong lie. But

she deserves to know. A child is innocent, deserves to know. I don't feel bad for you, and you honestly probably don't feel bad because you feel like you got away with that ship because the other brother is now dead. But you better believe that ship gonna come back on you, baby girl, because even though the brother is dead, the baby still deserves to know that that could be her father, not the alle I've one who's well off, like you stated, who you know could take care of the baby. Why

you fucking brothers anyway, goofy makes no sense. It's trifling. Hopefully you get yourself together and you get your baby to answers she need. I'm I'm gonna have to write Judge Lauren Lake for your ass because there's a way to still find out if the if the man who is dead is the father. But okay, that's it just made me man. Moving on to the next one. Jasmine Durham from Facebook said was about to face fifteen years

in jail for a crime that I actually did commit. However, my home girl was involved and hyped me up to do it, so I lied and put it on her. I don't feel bad because if she would have never got me high and hyped me up, we would never be in the predicament anyway. But CHALL don't feel sorry for you either, and I'm telling you right now, I feel sorry for your friend. Both of y'all pupposed to be sitting in there doing that fucking time you lied

on your friend. That's just loyalty right there. That's this lawyer was fucked, No, bitch, you got hot? Did she have a gun to your head to get you high? Then what the funk did y'all get hig off of? And then what the funk did y'all go do you're leaving just what I'm saying, y'all leaving shut out? How the funk I supposed to help y'all fix y'all mess. If y'all leaving parts out, God damn, you don't do that. I want to know what the funk y'all did, And I want to know if you are at least helping

putting money on your friends books. She's serving fifteen years for a crime that y'all both fucking committed. And then I don't even know if y'all both actually did it, because what you said was I was about to face

fifteen years in jail for a crime I actually did. However, my home girl was involved, so maybe she was just with you, So you think because she gave you the cocaine, which I'm assuming it was, or whatever, Because because on a lot of them drugs, you don't feel ship in your mind, everything is limitless and you can do anything. That's how people that's why people gotta get high. To go kill other people because you have a conscious when you're sober. So I'm just gonna say that y'all did

some cokee. What the funk did y'all do? And why would you put it all on her? That's fucked up, y'all different, y'all different. See, my lie got me successful, your lie. That's that's ship, crazy man, that she should haunt you, That she should haunt you. That was wrong, baby,

That was wrong, Jasmine, and you know it. Moving on to the next when this person wants to remain anonymous, she said, I was already pregnant when I met my boyfriend, but I was early, so I had sex with him as fast as I could and told him that I was pregnant so he would believe the baby was his. Recently, he requested a paternity test because my daughter looks nothing like him. She is now four months and there is no resemblance. So I know he's going to find out

and it's going to leave me. So what do I do? Jess, she's so in love with him as her father and that's the only man she knows. Mm hmm. First of all, it's a lot of paternity ship going on, and my motherfucking just fixed my mess segments. Y'all got the wrong preser. Y'all need to go to Judge Lake with this ship. That's crazy, baby, Listen. As sorry as I am trying to feel for you, I don't y'all have got to stop this ship. What the fuck? He was already pregnant

when you met your boyfriend? Okay, so apparently you had a one night stand with somebody or you was working with somebody that you you really really didn't intend on having a baby with. But you didn't get an abortion. And I'm not going to say that you should have, because I'm not an advocate for abortion either. So whatever reason that you didn't want to get one, you still shouldn't have lied. You said you had sex with your boyfriend as fast as you could because you knew that

you were pregnant. For one, that man is supposed to know the timeline. Fuck the fact that the baby don't look like him, he supposed to be on that timeline. Like, hold up, how the funk I just said sex with you and you are like the timeline don't add up? But men don't pay attention to ship like that. Some men do, but a lot of men don't. Yeah, baby, he's going to find out that the baby is not his.

What do you mean, what do you do? You need to sit down and have a real conversation with him because you didn't tell me if you're still in denial or not. And obviously you're going to give him a test, which is the right thing to do, so you're not completely heartless. I think what you should do is sit down and talk to him, tell him, tell him the truth, because once you tell it, you ain't really held prisoner no more. Because I noticed in the back of your mind.

I know it is I know when you saw the baby come out, and he saw the baby come out. I know that there was some type of electrical shot going through your body, like oh shit, oh my god. And I know that you felt that ship that he was gonna ask anyway, you know, and then it probably wasn't even him, but it was probably his family. You know. It's like, hold up, this baby, don't look like you, you know, And they got the right to tell him that if they did. If that's how it went down,

you didn't really give me everything. But I'm giving you this. Sit down with him, talk to him, be honest, tell him look, I got pregnant when you know, and he may leave you, but it'll be a burden lifted up off of your shoulders if you just get the truth out there. When you tell the truth, YO, that ship sets you free mentally, mentally. That's how people be so stressed out hide and ship keeping ship bottled up, lying about ship. That's a lie you you shouldn't have told,

but you did. It's a way to get past it now. I hope you know who the other father is, because that baby does deserve a father and deserve to know who the actual biological one is. And I hope he steps up because it's the reason why you ran from that ship and the last one. I'm going to read Terriica Living to be Lit Underscore on Instagram says I'd be lying about dumb ship Jess. One time, hold up shit said I'd be lying about dumb ship Jess. One time I really wanted to call out of work to

spend time with my boyfriend. I told my boss my grandmother had died, so he let me off. Two weeks later, I said my other grandmother died so I can get off of work again. Two months later, my boyfriend was about to go overseas to play all. So I had to call out again and forgot that I had told my boss that two of my grandmothers had died already. So I said it again and he called me all my ship and said, you told me your grandmother's died already.

How many grandmothers do you have? Needless to say, I got fired. Hold on, hold on, bitch. First of all, I hope your grandmothers are really dead. Let's just start there. I hope that they really did. I'm not ready coming to work. Like, Yo, my grandmother died. I needed to you know what I'm saying. I need to get off. Then the next week and yo, my other grandmother died, And first of all, I will fire you because it's a problem going on with you. It's something going on.

I would just fire your grass right there. Why is everybody dying around you? Then the third time you come in your my grandmother died again. She died again? Which which one? Which one did? She came back and died again. Bit you get your ship together. At least she was honest and said, I'd be lying about dumb ship, yes, but don't ever lie just to just oh my god, you lied to spend time with your nigga. I hope our grandmothers are really resting in peace and that that

ain't no lie. I hope they're not still living. That's crazy. This just fixed my mess. Segment had my emotions up and down them. Not gonna lie. The paternity lies are crazy. But Terrika, you brought me back to life with your dumb mass. I ain't even gonna lie, Yore, You're funniest shit. I'd be lying abou dumb ship jazz. Now let's kick it over to a brief break, which brings me to my next segment in current news. I want to shed some light, some positive light this Black History Month, and

we got a lot of black greatness going on. We got these young black brothers getting out of jail. Congratulations to Bobby s murder that man's harm. He looking healthy, his head still big, but he looking healthy. He looking good. And nigg have been wearing a mask. I ain't seen this goddamn face yet. This nigga said, I ain't get out to get no fucking COVID. He got his mask on everywhere we see this nigga. Congratulations Bob love you love you to death. Young black brother, keep doing what

you're doing. And Bobby Murder said, he ain't going back. He ain't going back. Congratulations the Kodak Black. He's out of jail by way of Donald Trump's pardon. I don't care why he out. He out. He another young black brother out and he is getting married. Guys. He decided to settle down. He got him a nice brown skinned woman that he's marrying. She's beautiful. He still ain't cut

his fucking head. But that's code. Heck, it is what it is now a lot of people were shocked when he when they saw who he was marrying, because some time ago before he got locked up, he was expressing that he didn't like dog skin bitches or brown skin bitches or whatever. He liked the white bitches or the light skin bitches. But y'all gotta understand, when these rappers are are rapping and they hied up and they you know what I'm saying, most of the time they say

what the funk come to mind? They say what cells? A lot of these rappers don't wrap the fucking truth. Honestly, they really don't. Sey'all can't be mad at certain brothers for saying that type of ship because y'all see who he's with now, and she's a badass brown bone. Love it. More black excellence, ge her bow. He's expecting another baby, and I think he might have slipped up and told us that he's having a little girl with Tina. I love their relationship. I love seeing them. I love seeing

how he fathers your son. He really really is a good father. Yo. He let a little boy with his heart, just like I feel he's going to love his daughter. So congratulations to your dad. Keep on doing what you're doing. Naomi osaka beat Serena Williams. It's a lot of black excellence going on in this month. I love it, and I loved seeing how Serena embraced Naomi. A lot of people wanted to see the shade so bad. Oh the shade,

Oh the shade, the shade, the shade. Man. Listen, Serena been doing the ship for years and years and for fucking decades. Her and her sister Venus been doing this ship for decades, trained by the best, mentored by their own black father. Trust me, they've been taking high rolls and breaking records and being legendary and two epic women for a long time. Let me tell you so, I believe if Serena wanted anybody to beat her, it would be Naomi Osaka. So congratulations Naomi. On another note, it's

a lot of challenges out this motherfucker. Congratulations to Cardi Bat, she got another hit. I love the song Up. If it's up, then it's up. Then it's up, then it's stuff. That's my ship. Congratulations and shout out to all the USPS ups FedEx Amazon drivers during the challenge. They've been killing it. However, bitch usps, you ain't got no motherfucking time to be getting out the car, hopping out dancing to no goddamn Cardi B. Because my ship still backed up.

People been eating waste, trainers, people been man it's customers requesting fucking money back and ship, but ain't no refunding. You know, I have a very strict policy. I don't do refunds and ship. And I mean it's just because my my product is so you know, it's it's good quality, but it ain't my fucking faunt y'all affecting my motherfucking business. Y'all hopping out dancing the fucking Cardi B go dereliving

the people ship fun wrong with y'all. That's why i'l so backed up shooting the ball and ship ain't doing nothing. But I'm not to learn that dance. Ain't gonna lie. I ain't gonna lie. I love that song. Get this up and it's up, and that brings me to the end of carefully Reckless. This episode was kind of emotional for me, up and down, because if you lie, trust me, you will pay for it. Like I said in the beginning, there are certain lies that just aren't supposed to be told.

Some people lie to keep things on and even kill. Some people lie to get ahead. Some people tell a little white lies, and then you got deceitful lives, spiteful lies. I think you can lie within reason. It's acceptable to lie within reason, and people use your fucking common sense when listening to this when you're trying to interpret what the funk I'm saying. Like I told you all my experience about how I made it to being who I am today in the stand up comedy world off of

one lie. It could have went bad, but it went good. My people who gave me their experiences, their life experiences, and just fix my mess, get it together. I hope these mothers find it in their hearts to come clean in about these babies, to come clean for these babies. I hope. So I love y'all just like I know y'all love me, and knowing that motherfucker. Note next week, catch Carefully Reckless another episode, and then my best pan voice piece bit me like, just you got your ass, nigger,

Shut the fucker. I've been out hit on my cash, on sold you bout my hustle. I've been stop I don't do. Get Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from My heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.