Keeping Y'all Updated

it up for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah. And I won't be taking no breaks. I'm gonna go straight into it, so y'all gonna hear me not only today, but next week as well. Between season one and season two, I did take a break because I was just trying to figure out where I wanted to go with the podcast. And now that I found my niche and that's helping y'all, I think I want to keep on going. Just want to keep on going, and so the wheels fall off.

I think y'all so much for rocking with me every Wednesday and for sending me your stories and then just being so vulnerable and open and willing to expose your business, you know, and trusting me with it. A lot of people who don't know Jessica Moore are scared or intimidated to let Jess Hilarious know anything because they're so used to Jess with the mess. They ain't even looking at me like jess can fix my mess. You know, I've been through a lot, and I know a little about

a lot of things. I don't know everything, but I know a little about a lot of things. I always say that. So we're gonna jump straight and we do not have voice memos because I guess y'all don't I guess these niggas and started catching one of y'all voices and shit, so y'all like, nah, bitch, I can't. So I'm gonna just write this long as fucking essay and you're gonna have to read it, and I am I'm

gonna read it. This is an update that we had from the show that aired December seventh, twenty twenty two, So listen. I took your advice, and come to find out, it was just a misunderstanding. My middle sister really does just want the best for me, and she is afraid that I'm not grieving properly. Truth be told, I'm not really grieving at all. I just avoid thinking about my parents being dead by staying busy. The dynamic of my sisters and I is this. My middle sister and I

share the same parents. My baby sister has a different father who has never been involved in her life for more than two weeks at a time. So with that being said, I need you to help fix my mess again. Ironically, my baby sister and I are not speaking right now this time. I'm on the verge of keeping it that way for good. Let me tell you why she used my mom for everything she had and stressed my mom

out with all of her lies and deception. She would make up lies that her kids are going to get taken away from her if she didn't get money for a lawyer by five pm the same day. She lied and lied and said that she had staged four cancer and all kinds of shit. None of it was true. My mom was retired and could hardly work all the time. Would give her the little bit of money that she

had left to help her? Line? Ask? My mom and I got into an argument a few years before she passed away because she tried to force me to give my hard earned money to my baby sister. I didn't give her a red penny. Tom passed by and I started talking to my mom again. My mom begged me to put my baby sister on my phone account, and I fought her so hard. I didn't want to do it, but I tried to be the big sister since my

mom asked me to do it. After about a year and a half, I had constantly remind her to send her portion of the bill. It has gotten so bad now that I've had to make threats about cutting her lines off lines or line. She has had a watch and an I phone. Okay, lines, you're right, Let me mind my business. In December, she tried to make it seem like I was getting on her nerves because I was asking for her part of the bill that she

ran up. She tried to guilt trip me by saying she was going to take her kids Christmas gifts back to the store. I absolutely did not let her do that to me. This month, she has ignoring me about the bill and it has pissed me off so much, stressed me out. At the same time, I can't do this anymore. If I cut her and the phone build off. I'm certain we will never talk again. Plus I'd be held responsible for the early termination fee. Her stuff will

be paid off in a few months. It makes me very sad that this is even an issue between us. I thought when our mom died in April, the three of us would be tighter than ever. Please help me, Jess, I can't take this anymore. Much love for all you do, All right, baby girl, Let's first start off with thank you for the update. Now, for those who don't remember her story, their mother died. This is one of I think three sisters. Three girls. This is one of three girls,

and she's the oldest, and their mother died. They all don't have the same father, but they have the same mother. And when she died, one of her sisters was looking at her like she was crazy because she wasn't crying, or she didn't feel emotional. She didn't show like any grieve, any grievance for her sister. You know, well in her sister's opinion, and she's just so hard up. But I was the advice that I gave her was everybody doesn't

grieve the same. Everybody that is not gonna cry. Everybody have different they have different ways of coping with death, and in grieving, her grieving is burying herself or work. She's burying herself because maybe she can't cry, maybe it's so hard for her, she doesn't know how to unlock those emotions where she's gonna be a ball of tears. She cries in a different way, you know, she grieves in a different way. But you did say I'm not grieving at all. You still can't even say that. There's

no proper way to grieve. You grieve how it comes out. Some people get angry, some people are sad. Some people laugh uncontrollably because they just can't cry. It's a nervous thing. It's it's a you know. And then some people fight, some people get on drugs. So it's different, diferent ways of grieving and coping. You have another problem now, your sister, your little sister. Now, she does not share the same father,

all right. And your mother seemed to have been an angel to never give up on your little sister, to help all the time and also even encourage you to help her when she needs it in areas that she lacks. Have you ever thought that maybe your little sister is kind of like her father. Y'all didn't have the same dad. You ever thought that? Has she ever gotten the attention from her father's side of the family. Maybe she feels like the black sheet because the rest of y'all got

the same dad and she doesn't. You know, you ever thought about that. You told me her father wasn't in her life for more than two weeks at a time. Maybe she's angry. Maybe she was looking for all that attention. Maybe y'all got more attention than her growing up, and maybe that's why she does things like, oh, I got staged four cancer and she's lying. She's seeking attention. She wants attention. Oh I need the money by this that

you know, Maybe that that's also attention. She knows nobody is gonna Sita sit back and let her children be taken away about five o'clock. Maybe that's attention. I don't And maybe she's she would and bought drugs with the money. Maybe she would. You didn't go into detail. But maybe it's not even about using y'all. Maybe this is her only way of getting attention, you know, and your mother gave her attention all the time. She never had any bad blood with your mother. You had bad blood with her.

Then you ended up having bad blood with your mother for caring so much. Now listen, I'm not telling you let somebody walk all over you. I'm not telling you let somebody use you. I'm not telling you that you are absolutely wrong for how you feel. You're still grieving the death of your mother, whether you know it or not, whether you I don't care how much work you bury yourself in. And like you said, you thought that this will bring y'all together once mom died. But your sister

had trauma before your mom died. She had trauma way before y'all mom passed, and you don't think she's feeling that. Also, that's a lot on her because she already don't have a damn daddy, you know what I'm saying, Or don't have the best relationship with her dad. Now she ain't got a mom, and she got a sister that fucking hates her. And I'm just speaking from her point of view. I'm not saying you do hate her, but you said it's like you can't stand her, you know what I'm saying.

I just want you to sit and talk to her. Okay, she ain't talking to you. She's a little sister. I know you feel like you tired of being a big sister, and sometimes it's like, bitch, take responsibility, take accountability for what the fuck you got going on. I know you want to tell her all this shit, and you can call a meeting. Don't get a phone cut off, call a goddamn meeting and talk to her. Go talk to your sister, call her phone and then like you can't get us such what a shit? You pay up, You

pay a fucking bill. Go ahead, go meet with her. You need to just be one honest with a lay it out in the line. But I need for you to have at least some type of understanding of what she's going through. Like I said, y'all lost y'all mom back in April. But before y'all lost mom, she was already going through shit because she didn't have a dad like the rest of y'all. And whoever her dad was, what never fucking there, didn't give a fuck about her.

And she has given birth to children. She wasn't raised the right way. I'm guessing that she used to live with her dad. I'm trying to figure it out because as loving as your mom was, wouldn't she have lived with y'all. I'm not sure. I'm not sure, and I'm not trying to rehash, so you know, open that can of worms, you know, with speaking on your mom or speaking about even bringing your mother up too much. But I just want you to come to an understanding with

your sister. You know, even if you make her work how to find a job something, you have to want to help more than you want to dismiss her reject her. You know what I'm saying. I know that sounds like nothing that you want to hear right now, but talk to her. Talk to her. Let me know how it turns out. Don't be so mean, because I feel it in your message as you sent me. You can be a little mean sometimes and I know she can too, But just talk to her, communicate. Communication will do wonders

for you. I promise you'd be so surprised what a conversation can do. Check back in with me. Thank you. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. Okay, this is also an update. Moving on. I think y'all gonna figure it out when I read it. I think this is one of the crazy girls. And shit, now I'm gonna call you crazy because you're crazy shit staying with that, nigga, Let me see if this is the one. First, thanks Jess for

reading my story. I was chilling on the couch, scrolling on Facebook and catching up on your podcasts. As soon as I heard you reading my story, I sat up and tears came to my eyes. Maybe it's because before I even heard your response, I knew it would be to leave him alone. Yep, there you go. It hits home when you hear your boy said back to you out loud. Update is we expressed we had feelings for each other, sending long paragraphs back and forth for days.

But then he told me the only reason he's still kind of with her is because she told him if he with anybody else or have other kids, she would have moved States to go be with family and he wouldn't see his son. I love him so much that I told him I would never come in between him and his child, so I would back off. He claims he only got her pregnant because he wanted somebody in parentheses his son and his life that would love him and never leave him like everybody else did. He always

hit me up and when I ignore him. He gets mad, saying I'm acting different because I have a boyfriend, when in reality, it's because I'm hurt. I don't even have a boyfriend. I'm hurt because I feel like I ruined us by breaking up with him and ignored him every time he tried to get back together. My problem is I was curious to see if he really was the love of my life or is that person still really out there. I blamed it on us being young, but now I'm out here being an adult, and I don't

like this dating pool. I just keep thinking that if my grandmother didn't die, then he wouldn't be back in my life. I was doing good not talking to him since we broke up, but when she died, it's when I finally responded to his texts. To answer your question, she knows about me, and she knows who I am. They met because she was his sister's friend, so of course she already knew some of his family before they

even met. I'm not sure if she knows we're messing around again, but I think she knows we're in contact because she kept deleting me off of his Facebook, and he kept readding me whenever he's going through shit and he always texts me or come to me to vent. Maybe you're right about saying he's my soul meet, but as a friend, I guess it might be time to

actually let go. I'm actually crying typing this. All your advice hits differently when it's coming from somebody who isn't biased or choosing size because of the history with that person. Thanks again, Jess, Love you girl. I love you too, girl. I love you too. I mean I mean that, I mean that, hold up, hold up. I know the ship getting good. But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen, so you know I'm gonna give it to you hard. I don't care.

I don't care because if I sugarcoat it for you, You're only gonna keep on going back. You're gonna find different ways to discredit yourself and give him all the credit like you're still doing. Do you realize that you just said that you ruined your relationship for breaking up with him, Girl, it happens, y'all. Break up. You didn't ruin y'all. Maybe that was in the cards for y'all. Like I told you, nobody is ever going to not

be with you if they really want to. It can't be unless they physically can't be with a person unless you in jail, unless you are dad. You listen, people end up being with who they want to be with. Okay, I don't care how many threats to that girl and told him that baby Mama then put out there on him. Oh if if you go be back with her or anybody else, I'm gonna move states away to your kid. Listen, he's entitled to his kids just like she isn't. If ain't nobody got no custody, then he's just as much

entitled to those kids as she is. She can move to fucking Antarctica and he can fight for joint custody. Listen, if your heart belongs to someone, you're going to follow that person. You're going to end up being with that person. You can just keep him as a friend. You say you still sound hurt, though you still sound very, very hurt. So that's why I say you just need to leave him alone all together, because you still sound way too

fucking hurt to just be his friend. He hit you up when he argued, that's what all these niggas doing. He hits you up when he going through something he wants to vent. Oh, the only reason why. First of all, I hate if a man start a sentence like the only reason why I married her, or the only reason why I had a baby were here, the only reason why I'm still fucking up. I don't want to hear that. It's because you want to, motherfucker. It's because you want

to and don't matter. That's who you wit, that's who you love. Ain't ain't no threat by a woman in the world gonna make a man stay where he don't want to be. So you need to notice that. You need to realize that. And you are still holding yourself back from ship because you still stuck with this man. You still stuck on this man with his own family, he had nothing to give you. What could he do for you right now? What could he do for you

right now that will really really make you happy? He already got a baby with this girl that he willingly made a baby with. I'm gonna keep putting that in your brain. Ain't no because she did this, so he stuck his dick in a raw, came in, and he knew the outcome, and then nine months later, won't baba boom blah blah whah bam boom, here go, that's it all right? What can he do for you right now? Leave the family and then come with you? Not see his son? Boom? What's that gonna do? That's gonna make

him say it? So? Then you still ain't gonna be happy because it's because he ain't gonna be happy with you because now he's missing a part of him, his child. All right. Even if you take the baby from the girl and he come be with you, now, what is that Is that gonna be happy? No, because now you're gonna be stuck raising somebody else baby, all right? Cool? He leave her alone, he get custody at a child, He come to be with you, He put a baby in you, he married you. What's that gonna do? It's

gonna make you happy? Does sounds like something that you want? Well, you're never gonna get it because he's not gonna fucking be faithful. He's gonna be still cheating. He's still gonna find a way because you made it so comfortable for him to keep using you as a fucking doormat. Whenever he needs you. You're there whenever, And it ain't all the time. He don't even hit you up unless they're going through something. You mean to tell me that a

nikka got you only you wor you only worth that much? No, he don't need you. He need a fucking therapist, and you can't be it because you're already had sex. You don't have sex with your therapist. You already was in love with him. He already loved you. It's already already try a relationship. He needs a fucking therapist, all right. You need a therapist too, to help you get over this ship, because I don't think Jess's gonna be all you need. Baby, telling you you're still a little stuck there.

I love you enough to tell you that, though. I want you to get out of that because you don't deserve to keep holding yourself back and you cannot play the blame game with this nigga's life. You blame me, yourself or what the baby? Get up? Thush yourself off, try again, period, and you never know what you had until it's gone. That could be taken two ways. It could be taken away like this. It could be taken like this. I had something so good and I took

advantage of it. Now it was gone. Now I miss it. Or I had something that was so horrible, so bad for me, that I ignored it. I blamed myself. Now that it's gone, I see the problem. Sometimes something has to be removed for you to see that it was a problem. So you never know what you add until it's fucking taking away from you, or until you remove yourself. You have to remove yourself because he ain't gonna do it.

You have to be strong enough to say, all right, I'm not gonna be nobody's door man because I'm gonna do bad a by myself. It's time for you to start doing good. Okay, check back in again. I don't care how many updates to take, how many times I have to talk to you, how many times I have to lend you my mess, whatever, I don't care. You're gonna keep checking in with me, and we're gonna get

this together, all right. I love you, And just like that, we've come to the end of another Carefully Reckless, just Fix My Mess episode. Make sure you tune into Carefully Breakfast no matter where you're going, on the way to the gym, on the way to taking those kids to school, on the way to work. If you want to wake up and you ain't got no job. It's fine, go back to sleep after you listen to Carefully Reckless. But I will be here each and every Wednesday as early

as the ass crack of dawn. Make sure you also tune into co Parents and Therapy every other Wednesday on YouTube or me and my Little Baby Daddy are helping other parents create healthy environments to raise their children and and to also help them move forward amicably as friends and in my deepest Pam voice peace. Carefully Reckless is

a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.