I See Dead People

voice notes, but this story seems a little juicy. She wrote this in so I'm just gonna read it. Hey, Jess, my name is Kimberly. This is my first time doing this because I'm not one to speak on what's bothering me. But I really need your advice at this point, so I hope you get to read this. So here it is. I've been in a long distance relationship with this guy since October of last year. He lives in California, where

I'm from, and I live in Texas. Now, I've been knowing him since I was fourteen and he was twelve, So yes, he's younger. Than me. But that's besides the point right now. So he was in jail for thirteen years and got out and I was in a half way house. Oh wait, not you Okay. He got out and was in a half way house for a year,

and that's when me and him started talking again. He was supposed to come move to Texas with me, but when he got out of the halfway house, due to him being a Level four in jail, they said he was high risk and have to be on probation for a year before he could move here with me. And I was cool with that because we got along so well. We had a lot in common and things were great. We were just getting to know each other again. So of course me trying to be a good girlfriend and

making sure he was okay mentally and physically. I made sure I bought him whatever he needed and gave him money to make sure he had money in his pocket and so that he could eat, because the halfway house would take his work check and hold it until he was released. Goddamn Now. On February tecond of this year, which was his birthday, he got mad at me for telling him people are not obligated to give him a birthday party. He has grown now and people do it

because they want to, not because they have to. And he disrespected me in so many ways for saying that I cussed his ass out on his birthday, and ever since then we've been up and down. I tried to apologize and let him know why I reacted that way, but he's not a forgiving person, so it was like a lost cause. But he said he still wanted to be with me and marry me. Oh yeah, I left that part out. We got engaged. What cold up? How

the fuck? Oh yeah, I left that part out because we had got engaged, all right, so obviously I'll move forward, all right, continuing. We were still fine after that, but then March came around and he started changing. He was rarely calling and texting like he used to be, but we still talked every day. Now, April comes around and he was getting out the halfway house that month and he just started to disappear, like he stopped calling, only

texting when he needed something. I will go to Kelly and visit him and everything is great, but as soon as I come back to Texas, he's right back on his disappearing act again. I've voiced my opinion about how I felt about the situation on so many occasions, but he always tried to guilt me, saying things like I'm not being understanding or I need to realize he's out there alone and have nobody and he's trying to adjust being out in the world again and he has to

do it alone. And I get that, But my whole thing is, what is a phone call or text? Right? It ain't like his ask ain't been doing it before. But I know this story all too well because I had one of these back in my day, So I'm about to continue. I don't ask him for nothing besides his attention, and he can't even give me that, like we are not long distance already. I've given up, or

at least said I give up on multiple occasions. But as soon as he hit me up needing something, I jump and do it because I'm that type of person. I can't see someone struggling and don't think about it when I have it to help. I told him many times how I feel when nothing has changed. I know what I need to do, trust me, I do, but I really need your on this situation. Well, if you know what to do, why the hell you need my out continuing. It's getting to me in more ways than

I feel it should. Yes, I do love that man, but all he is doing is hurting me. So I need you right now. I know you will keep it real with me. How do you feel about this situation? And what advice can you give me? I'm torn right now because I know what I should do, but my heart won't let me. Please, baby girl, help me fix this mess. Lol. Then she said something else. Sorry, I know my message as long as fuck, but you did say you need all the meat on the bones, so

I try not to leave nothing out. We'll laughing my ass off. Well, it definitely was a juicy damn story, and I can relate to it. That's how juicy it was that I can relate. I actually had I've dealt with I could say about two or three jailbirds in my day. And yes, that's how it happens. I actually happened to deal with someone years back who came home who I thought was coming home, and then he had gotten he got released, but he had to go and

spend a year and a half way house. And then as the time narrowed down to the time that he was supposed to come home. The phone calls lessened, the amount of time we were on the phone lesson. The text messages got shorter and shorter, the letters just stopped, and he had somebody else, you know what I'm saying. Come to find out, he had had somebody that he was going to come home. And Marry was telling me all the same things, and then was telling somebody else

all the same things. Just so happened that he could actually do it with her because she was a lot older and a lot more stable. I was younger and he was older, and that's how that goes. But that was just to touch the service, to let you know that I've been through this before, so you don't have to feel like you're the only girl, you're the only person that then you feel stupid and all this type of shit. I was there before. And it's not about

you feeling stupid, is it? Because like you said, you know what you have to do, but your heart won't let you. No, you won't let you. It ain't your damn heart. You control every part of your body, every part of it, whether you know it or not. You do, you know what I'm saying. You just need to find

that strength and you need to know your value. I don't feel like you know your value because this person is not even home yet, you know what I'm saying, Like you're really giving your life, like draining yourself trying to keep up with somebody that ain't even on the outside yet. How you trying to keep up with a nigga that ain't even out, you know what I'm saying.

That's not what you're supposed to be doing. Now. I appreciate you being understanding, because yes, we know how it goes when these men are in jail, just like when women are in jail, but we're speaking on men. Yeah, it is lonely. It's definitely lonely in those halfway homes and you know, only being able to talk to people certain hours out the day, and you know, you really get to see who's for you when you're in a situation like that, You know, you get to see who's

for you, you get to see who's not. But on the flip side of that, you really get to see how a person can manipulate you too, you know what I'm saying, How they can be selfish in a way. You know, and then it's very cliche, but hurt people hurt people. It's as hurt in jail for nineteen years. I think you said, the hell he hurt. He's probably had people leave him in there promise some shit, don't you know. And then it's not a lot to hold on to

you when you lock the way that long. And then yes, he has to adjust being out in the world, you know, So maybe that's not really where you need to be right now. Yes, I know you love him and things like this happen. You need this to grow, You need this to grow. This is just you growing. Seriously, a lot of times, we as women also could feel like if there's history there and there's time between you two and then you come back, then it must be meant.

That doesn't Hell no, that doesn't necessarily mean that it's meant because this is a person from your past. Don't ever think that. Don't ever think that that's always the case, because it very well cannot be as well as it very well could be. You know. So you have to be careful with that type of situation. But I want you to keep in contact and definitely update me because I need to know you know what you need to do.

But I think you're resting on the fact that he may change his mind when he get out and just come to you, and you're thinking that all of this would have been for nothing if you don't nah, that's how you learn yourself. You know you're dating and it happens. But I'm letting you know right now hitting this nice old beasy. My sister just rolled up. I think my boyfriend rolled this blunt. Yeah, whoever wrote it, it's hitting good, and I'm letting you know that, ain't it, Champ that

ain't it? Hold up? Hold up? I know this shit getting good, But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. All right, So we're moving on, Okay, y'all. So this is an update. This is from because I do remember reading this story Jazz. This is a really mess, but more of a young

and asking for some advice. Okay. So this is twenty three year old who kept saying, heyone to run away, and that he's trying to figure out how not to be alone or how to get used to being alone because he's been out of in and out of relationship since he was thirteen. And my mom already told me I'm too young to be thinking like this, and this is the reason why I'm trying to run away. Okay, all right, well this is the response. Oh shit, the response say, damn, I look like a boy. How embarrassing.

Thanks so much for the advice, Jess. I guess my real question was how do I start the process of self love. You're absolutely right. Lack of self love is very apparent, and it's starting to show in everyday situations. I know I'm young, but my biggest fear is failure and rejection. If I don't put myself out there, I can't get let down. I'm trying to get over that. I am not looking for love es I promise and running away to find me. I just don't know where

to look. Also, it's crazy that you said I should be a therapist. That's almost exactly what I want to go to college for. I'm starting this fall for psychology minoring and social work. Thank you again, gorgeous. Oh, thank you. And no, I'm so sorry I did not know that you wasn't a boy. I'm sorry. No, you don't look okay, See I didn't go to your damn page. I just looked at your little thumbnail and yeah, you look My gosh, all right, No you don't. Sorry, I love you. You're

gonna make me say that, you girl my bed. I ain't know. But listen, I wasn't knocking you running away. I thought you literally meant running away like you're gonna pack a bag and throw a damn fit. Now if you were. If you're moving away, you know, to find you, that's fine. Don't don't change the narrative of it. Don't say running. Don't call it running because running mix is something else. You know what I'm saying, that's something else. You're running to run away from thing is to avoid it.

You know what I'm saying, to be running away from it. You know it's exactly what it is. So don't say it like that. Paraphrase it, and just say you're going on a journey to find yourself. You know what I mean. I mean, then you're twenty three, you ain't. You don't have to run away, right, you know you're not being held captive. You know you're just going to go look for you. That's different. You said it like you was

running away, so that's how I addressed it. But I want you to do whatever you have to do for you though, you know, and since you promised me you wasn't fine in love, then that's not a problem, right, you know, Then you ain't gonna need nobody to do it. Now. I'm not saying you don't need people, but you don't need a companion right now. If you don't even know

who you are, you get what I'm saying. So think about that last, you know, if you can help it, because sometimes these hopeless romantics just can't help it, you know. And I can relate to that as well. But you seem to ever figured out a little bit little bit, So hit me back a little bit. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back moving on. And this is the last wine you up before I get up out of here. So this

one is written as well. Hey Jazz, I love your podcast. I need you to fix my mess. So I started dating this guy and he was literally perfect everything I wanted. When I would see him, all I would do was melt. One day, I wanted to take it a step further, so I invited him over for Father's Day to meet my dad and the rest of my family. Everything was great and we had a good time. I invited him over a second time for an event, and that's when it went downhill. Oh shit, girl, my life was in shambles.

But let me tell you, me and my family we big shroom, okay, and we decided to do it that day. As I started feeling them, he started saying things kind of fucking my head up, which made me distant from him. Shortly after that, he came into my room talking to me and I saw a demon pop up behind him, and bitch, when I say I was petrified, I was petrified. I ended up kicking him out, which I felt bad about, and I talked to him about it later that night.

We had a good conversation. But things are really weird now and it's just causing me to be a little mean to him and push him away. Just what the fuck should I do? Because that's some crazy shit. Oh wow, honey, that that that is some crazy powerful shit. And sometimes some things aren't to be fucked with. I'm just gonna say, you know, some energies are not to be tampered with, and just you just damn that's so. I Yo, you got me at a loss. I would know. Does he

astra project? I mean, I don't know, because that's given me astral projection. I mean, are you into astral projection? If you're not into it, you should definitely look it up for sure. I would definitely take a look at in cities if you haven't watched that shit. I mean, not to scare the life out of you, but just to let you know shit like that. It's totally normal in other parts of the world and it happens. But I don't know if because I've shrewmed, but I've never

seen a demon before. Uh, that's crazy. I think, what did he say when you told him about it? You gotta update me because I need to know what he said. What you mean, all talked about it. You ain't need to tell me shit you talk about what shoes you do. You should tell me the rest of what happens so I can tell you what else to do. This shit is good. This is crazy. I mean, I know you were scared, and I'm sorry, but this is this is my first case. I feel this is great. This is

not you know. I hope you're okay. Just update me. I'm gonna get out of here. On that note, got my first paranormal activity story. I feel like a damn detective. I feel I feel good about it. Oh, because I'm feeling my blunt now and I really feel like I can solve this. I just I want this person to keep up with me. I want them to keep up with me. All all right, So we come to the end of yet another carefully reckless episode with your girl Jess hilarious. I'll just be fixing mess up and down,

inside out and all of that. Y'all can catch me now, y'all can catch me. So this way, when you hit the black in the middle of a podcast of a little pod Kissel, all right, I see all answers the next Wednesday, and in my deepest pain voice can't. Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.