I'm an "Extra"vert

and I want to get into something more serious. I know you always expect for me to play, but I'm a mom and I'm noticing things about my son that i haven't noticed before. So is his dad. So let me ask you this. Have you ever seen a sudden, extreme change in your child like sudden? Now I have. Over the past few months, I've seen that my son is way more quiet. He likes to be alone a lot. He were preferred to be by himself. He don't even like to be around his friends, his cousins and stuff

like that. And I pay attention to that because if you are an avid gu hilarious Wild Sure viewer fan supporter, what have you whatever thing you know? Over the years, my son has been charismatic, charming, absolutely animated, just the ball of fun, big personality. He's just like his mom. That's died down quite a lot over the past few months. Right, His father also sees it as well, because he doesn't like to go with his dad on the weekends anymore.

I just noticed that. Now, wrong, everybody, no, little Bay Fall him, that's that's my son's dad. He is a father of four um and expecting a new one. So a father of five and a stepfather of one. So it's six kids in that whole household where he is, you know, with his current girlfriend. And I noticed more recently, you know, he just got a house. Congratulations to my little baby Fall and his girlfriend. And I'm saying he

just got a house and moved all the kids together. Fine, you know now as other kids, they live with their moms. But it never fails. Every weekend sometimes even into the weak rome has his children, all of them. Now, this is one thing when I noticed that he didn't want to go over anymore. It was just one weekend out of the blue. He was like, Mommy, can I stay with you? And I'm like, I'm not gonna be home this weekend. I'm gonna be out and about parties all

of that stuff. He's like, all right, it's fine, I'll still stay home, like I'm old enough to stay home. I'm like, ash no, you're not. You're nine, baby, you're more advanced than the average nine year old or whatever that means, but you cannot stay home by yourself. Mind you. Where I live now, it is a lot of security. I live in a building, a condo up on the twenty three flow all that. Like, I'm I'm secure. You can't even get on my floor without a key fob

and all that type of ship. We got purity downstairs outside everything, so it's completely secure. However, Ashton is an explorer. That little boy would be trying to cook and every goddamn thing else, like, nah, you're not burning down, no damn building, Okay, you're not gonna do that. And then we have a dog, Banane, my little frenchie. So I'm like, no, you're not old enough. I'm gonna give you into like twelve, eleven, twelve, whatever,

then you could be in the house by yourself. He's like, nah, nah, I don't want to go with him. I said, Okay, what does he do to you? Why don't you want to go? I just don't want to go. He won't ever give me a reason. So I talked to his dad about it. I went to Rome, I say, yo, don't even take this the wrong way, but out of nowhere, Ash just would rather stay home on the weekends. And he was like, yeah, I know, he's been acting like he don't want to be with me when I come

pick him up on Fridays. And I'm like, have you ever asked him why? And He's like no. I told Rome, I'm like, Rome, I've asked him why, but he won't tell me. I think we should come to him together. So we talked to him together. He like, nothing, No, I just don't I don't want to I like to be home now. Rome thought because he has a mom that travels a lot, and I'm always on the go, and you know, I spend as much time with him as I can. And even when he's out of school,

he travels with me. I take my son everywhere with me as long as he doesn't have school. Since the pandemic, everything really hasn't picked back up like it wasen, you know. So I'm actually home more than I've ever been since I've become a celebrity, right, So I'm like, no, that can't be it. I spend way more time with him than I ever used to when I first started blowing up, Like, no,

I spend way more time. He's getting older, Rome I don't even think it's the fact that he wants to be up under me, because nowadays me and ashe will be in the house and I won't hear from him unless I go see what he's doing. Like my baby used to be up under me. He used to be more affectionate. He used to kiss me, tell me he loves me, hug me, touch on my little love handles, like he gets that ship from his dad's dad used to just he just like to play with fat and ship.

But you know, it used to be all of that affection, attention mommy, mommy, this mommy, that mommy, mommy. I gotta pay this little boy to call me now, like I love hearing the word mommy because he doesn't say it, like he doesn't talk. And I feel like he's too young to be so unemotional now he's nine. This usually occurs in teenagers. My son is not even ten yet. He will be April fourteen, but he's not even ten yet, and he's already showing me that he may be an introvert.

Now that's what The whole episode is about how you're able to tell if your child is an introvert or not, which I think he is, which is weird to me because I would have guessed that he would be an extrovert. And this is literally recently, like believe it was just like me, not even a year ago. I'm talking about what like he don't like the camera no more, he don't like being um recorded, he don't like none of

that ship. He don't like his door open. Now you know, I'm a black mom, so sometimes i'd be like, now, lead us, goddamned door open, what you're doing. I'll be even listening by his door, and he really don't be doing ship. My man be watching TV, he'll be doing his homework, he'll be reading a book, he'll be uh watching YouTube. He don't even really be on the phone

to talk to his friends. You know, because when we were younger and we closed the door, we're on the phone, we're cussing this ship, you know what I mean, trying to sound cool for our friends and oh, lil look we we yeah, yeah, yeah, bitch on the ship on it, you know what I mean. Like we're doing all that he does not do any of that, and trust me, I listen, I'm talking about these is be glued to the damn door. He gives me nothing, But I'm letting

you know. I feel like now Rome and I, with the help of my mother, we're raising an introverted child. And the craziest thing about it is when he's home with me, I'm raising an introverted child in an extroverted world because my world is very extroverted. Now, let's and I also possess some quiet qualities, Like you know, I'm

not outgoing all the time. Sometimes people may see me out and they expect for me to be loud and jumping around, and it's that and the other and like they see me on the internet, where really I have a downside as well, like not a damn I don't want to stay down. That's that's the wrong word, because I'm not like, I'm hardly ever down. You know, I'm highly blessed and favor but I don't like to talk to people. Sometimes I like to be alone. I like to,

you know, just be by myself. Like I'll get to that point where I don't want to be on anybody. But I still can't even say that my child gets that from me. I don't understand what I'm saying because we have to realize everything that our children do, it's not really based off of how we raise them. It's not really based off what they see us do. Our kids really still possess and developed traits of their own. They're still their own people. Like my brother. My brother

is a total opposite of me. We were both raised in the same house by the same to parents, one disciplinarian, one more lenient, which was my dad. But he was still a great damn father and we did not play with his ass. But still my brother turned out totally different than I did. My brother is my biological brother, big brother, only when I have. His name is Kevin. He has anger issues. He's introverted as funk like you

don't like to be around people. That's it. He worked, he stays to himself, He go home, same ship, wife and kids. That's it. Half the time. He only like to be around the ass. But that is literally it. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and

then we'll be right back. So these are some of the questions that you have to ask yourself, you know, instead of being piste off because it's easy for parents to be upset when they feel like they can't get through to their child, Like it's easy for them to be upset about it because I got upset about it. Rome gets a little bit more upset than me because he's like, yo, what is it about me? He's taking it personal, like my, I don't like to be around me. What is this ship? Yo? I'm not used to this.

Rome lost his mom. Rome was not close with his dad after that. So understand Rome is more fearful for his child, not wanting to be around him. He's thinking it's something that has to do with him, and it's really not. You have to ask yourself, like I told Rome, how do you talk to an introverted child? You have to accept and embrace. The first hurdle to get over is yourself. We gotta get over ourselves, like, no, it's

not even it's not about what we're doing. It's not we're both two goddamn good parents, Like it's not us. You got to encourage them to seek out outlets for self expression, like I love for Ashton to express himself and he does so, but not in front of people. And I told you that's so recent that that's more recent than anything. We have to respect their need for privacy.

That's also big when you're an introvert, respect their privacy. Now, I know he's only nine, and I know you're probably looking at the damn phone and looking at the podcast like I am his mother or you all his mother? What you man? H don't get no damn privacy. That's the problem. Even with us growing up. We didn't get privacy, all right. That's why we snuck and did a lot of ship, and you know, turned into rebellious teenagers because

we weren't giving the respect of privacy as children. A lot of us, not in all cases, but very much most. You know I'm saying, especially growing up black. I can't speak for other races. I don't know how this ship is. I just know for me, I wasn't allowed to have a personality. I wasn't well. I wasn't allowed to have a mood. I wasn't allowed to have an attitude to

be upset or whatever. I wasn't allowed to hand no damn privacy where I can just scream in my pillows, shut my door, and just do all types of ship. You know what I mean. Your parents back then always wanted to be able to know what the funk you was doing, but didn't give you the liberty and the freedom to express what the funk you was going through. So that's the mistake that I don't want to make with my child respect or need for privacy. Like I told you Ashton, he likes to keep his door shut.

Now I'll listen for a while, trying to catch something. I will never catch anything. He just really likes to be by himself, off to the side, not with too many kids. Like seriously, I also noticed that my baby had a lot of friends in the same school. He's been in sending the same school since first grade, and now he has kids that it will speak to, but he don't really want to hang out with them. He don't really want to talk to them all the time and ship Like I'm like, I'm paying your phone bill

for no reason because you and on the phone. You know what I mean, Like, you know another thing you have to work with their strengths, like find out what his strength is, like find out what her strength is. I'm talking to you now, guys, like if you're listening to your child is going through the same thing or you're going through the same thing with your child. Find out what they flourish at, like, what they blossom at with their passion is what they're good at. Find out

their strengths. Also with an introvert, you can't be screaming and with the rye Ryan, get what that's wrong with you and do like you have to give them gentle nudges, not hard ass thrusts, Like you just can't be so harsh with an introvert that will push them away even further than you already feel that they're pushed away, when it's not even really them pushing you away. It's just who they are, you know what I mean. They don't like to be yelled at and scolded and ship also

teach them to understand and celebrate their uniqueness. Tell them Explain to them what an introvert is, you know, and then tell them the uniqueness of it. Tell them that you understand them. Like, even if you don't understand them, try to, you know, don't make them feel bad about it, because that's what me and Rome was doing when we couldn't figure it out. Unintentionally, we were making him kind of feel bad for not opening up. But it's like, damn,

maybe we should take a different approach. I honestly would not encourage therapy so early for a child that is developing introvertedness. But later on in life, if you see that it turns into something else, that okay, because just because you're an introvert does not mean you need therapy. It doesn't not always. And then you guys would ask the question, well, where does it come from? Where does introverted people come from? How do you just become an introvert?

That's because introversion or extraversion, you know both, but we're speaking of introversion. It's something that humans are born with and it may take a minute to activate, you know, Like I said, I thought he was an extrovert. No, it's determined and in large part by our genes, but it's still can happen where your kid is growing up and they're growing into themselves. Ashton could have been just

like me because kids are also sponges. So he may could have just been regurgitating everything that he's seen me do since he was born, like, Okay, I know my mother's loud, crazy, silly da da. He was doing that ship up until he's now growing into himself. So I just felt like he's finally growing into himself. Now we got a commercial, and if you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. If you also still don't know if your child is an introvert,

this is how you can tell. They literally like recharge by being alone. I'm telling you, if you feel like your child always has an attitude, always angry, leave him alone for a while and see if it if they come back, if they're in a better mood, they recharge by being alone. It's it's literally, you know, it's it's it's just different. I'm not gonna say it's weird. They're not gonna say it's awkward. It's just different from what if you're an extrovert, you know, listen a bit more

when they speak. Don't be so quick to shut them up. Like, just listen to them talk, pay attention, pay attention to the kind of music they listen to. You also will know if they take their time processing something like, for instance, my boyfriend, he's an introvert for shohore, for sure. I'll ask him a question and he will literally take so long in between words, telling me that's because they're thinking as they're talking. They're processing ship. They are different. I'm

telling you, they're fucking different. Just be more calm with your kids. Just give them a second. You take a second, and then go back and reflect on some ship calmly. You know what I'm saying. Now, I'm not saying walk on egg shows. I'm not. But you have to adapt to your child, just like they have to adapt to you. You know, everything is about adapting. Some things you should not say to an introvert, whether it's your child or not, because we we gotta respect these people. You know, they're

just a little bit different. And I struggle with my introverted boyfriend every day, and now I gotta introverted child. So I'm like, Lord, please help me, because I'm extroverted enough for everybody. Okay, so I know I get on their nerves too. But this is what you don't say. I learned this dating an introverted person. You're so quiet, you real quiet. Don't say that. It's just like, okay, if you don't know the person is an introvert, you're just gonna say what come to your mind. But once

you figure it out, certain things are just offensive. It can be offensive, like if we are extroverted. You don't want nobody always saying damn you loud it you always loud and aggressive. That's something that I take offense to you all the time because I don't feel that way. I don't feel that I'm always loud and aggressive. I'm loud and aggresive when I have to be, sometimes more often than not. But that's also a part of me, just my extra version. That's it. If you think about it,

the root word for extroverts, it's extra. It's like, no, it's not, it's actually extra. But Ship, I'm gonna say it like it is. It's extra, bitch, all right, I'm extra. Now, don't say speak up more. You need to speak up more, damn because in their mind it's like, Nigga, I'm trying. I'm trying even I don't even want to. I don't even talk, so how I'm gonna speak up? Nigga, I don't even like to talk to y'all. Motherfucker's they're in their mind saying that. Ship. Don't say speak up, be

more assertive, be more assertive. No, that's for y'all. You know what I'm saying. That ain't for us. Also, don't interrupt them why they're talking, because nine times out of tend you ain't gonna have to because they ain't gonna have much to say. They're expressive in different ways. You will notice a lot of introverted people are artists, you know, because artists they love to express themselves nonverbally, you know what I'm saying. Not recording artists. I'm talking about like

creative people, artistic people. They like to paint, they like to draw, they like to design, close, they design whatever, you know, stuff that keep them busy where they don't have to say much to nobody because they're in their own zone. Don't say you're so boring, like you're boring, and ship like you're so boring. Please don't say that to them. Aren't you lonely? Don't say that ship? Be more outgoing? Don't say that ship. And I'm gonna say this before I get up out of here and they

listen everything I just said. I want y'all to be informed. I wanted to be very educational to y'all because I don't just get on here just talking ship. That's for reckless discussions that comes out every Wednesday on YouTube. Make sure you check it out. Okay, y'all got uh about twelve more hours until the episode with eleven drops. But

I don't want anybody to think that. Like I said, I'm telling y'all to walk on eggshells around your kids or you know, these introverted people that you think that you have to dim your light for no, no, no, And that's another thing. They don't want you too dimn you're light. They just don't want you to force them to shine. There is brighter and that's the word. I know, that's right, But like I dropped something on that that was that was a gym, that was like god damn

jem of the day. But listen, it's a difference between introverted people and stubborn ass motherfucker's and and I want you all to mix up the two. My son is not a stubborn ass little motherfucker, and neither is my boyfriend. They just are introverted people. That's just what that is. And as long as y'all know how to treat these people, then everything will be fine. So just like that, we come to the end of yet another carefully reckless episode.

What's your favorite girl? Just a Larry, Let's make sure you tune in every week every Wednesday on hump Day, Specter Nal Aspect Aspect nice As Carefully Reckless is a production of I heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the i heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.