I Don't Owe You Sh*t

debut on Couple's Retreat. I'm going to be on a show with my boyfriend. Yes, I have a boyfriend. Why didn't you guys know? It's because it wasn't the right time for you to know. Honestly, I didn't think that the blogs will grab this ship this fast because the show is not even supposed to air until Bruary twenty one, which is a week after my birthday. So this gives me and my boyfriend a lot of times to prepare for our outing, right, So listen, I know exactly how

the internet can be toward people. I was into public relationships prior to this one. Okay, I wanted to do this one a little different. I like him. I like him a lot, he likes me, and that's how the funk We're gonna keep it. We're together, we're enjoying the moment that we are in. We're moving forward, We're getting to know each other better so this ship can last, which I have a lot of optimistic hopes about. And I'm not gonna say who it is, because if you

really care enough, you'll do your research. I said, the blog is the jazz my brand. If you don't find leave us the funk alone until y'all can't leave us alone anymore. This is what I really want to vent about. Guys. I have family, I have friends, I have associates. I have some people that are closer than others who called me and decided to fucking vent to me about something that I could be doing for them instead of taking

my boyfriend of only a few months on TV. There were certain conversations that I deemed necessary to talk about in my episode because this is carefully reckless and if I can be real with anyone, it is my motherfucking fans, it is my listeners, it is my supporters, the people who listen to me every day, the very people who will judge me, but not directly to my fucking face. And I appreciate that because I don't know you and you don't know me. All you know is that you

love jess Hilarious. This is why I wake up and do this ship every day. I'm talking about not even just my podcast, my life, my fucking career. If I'm not doing something for Ashton, I'm doing it for you, guys, which is why I felt that I owed you guys. Another side of me. All people know me for being is je hilarious, very loud and oh clap back all She's gonna scratch your ass if you say something about her. Oh she's been canceled plenty of times. She just doesn't

give a fuck. She's a hood bitch. She's this, she's that, she's radget but no one sees the other side. Now, the other side is Jessica Moore. I'd love for people to know who I really am. I do not saying that Jessilarious is not me at all, but just Hilarious is a character, right, Just Hilarious is young Jessica Moore before I actually like grew up, very unapologetic, very insensitive. Right, still have a good heart, always had a good heart. Got that from my mama. But I am still a

feminine woman, very soft, very vulnerable. I love I like I feel. Just because I don't show it to you guys online does not mean I am not emotionally available and I am. I know that I am. I'm a cry baby. I love attention. I love to be spoiled. I love all of that. Spoil me with your affection, drown me and your fucking love, all that violent ship that no one thinks that I am capable of feeling or even liking, because all you see is what I show you, and I haven't shown you that side. That's

where you'll get to see in this show. Back to my ranting, I hate the fact that there are some people in my life that just feel so fucking entitled that they have to blame me for everything that's not going right in their lives. And I won't say any names. I won't go as far as saying any names, because these people ultimately will know who they are if they even listen to my podcast, and you know, a couple

of them don't. But I can count on you, guys to pass the word and the world will get around and the world will get around, and this person will tell this person and then they'll have no other choice but to come. Listen. How can you call yourself my friend and you say shipped to me? Like I've set back and I've watched you create jobs and create wealth for other people, and I've just been sitting here and you don't even I have a clothing line. I want

to get off the ground. And and why why do I have to sit here and struggle with like you leaving me here in the pits? What the funk are we talking about here? You're a grown ass man, you're a grown ass woman. Get the funk up off your ass and go start from the fucking bottom like me, Start from the fucking bottom. Go and do that. No one even fucking knows you. Well, how the fuck am I going to give you fame? How? This is why you guys don't see me with a lot of fucking people.

And the people that you do see me with, or you have seen me with, I slowly but surely weed them the funk out, and then you may see me with a person you've never seen me with before. Why? Because everybody needs friends, everybody needs friends. It's up to you to choose the ones that you need or to keep around, the ones that you keep sucking attracting. But everybody needs friends, everybody needs a certain energy to match theirs. You know, it's all about your mood, It's all about

your personality. It's all about even take. You're not supposed to just keep giving and giving and giving and giving, and the other person is taking and taking and taking, and then you look up and you're like, damn, well, what the funk do you do for me? Other than come around with your eluding, fucking presence? What do you do for me? That's what I have to ask myself. I got so many calls and fucking text messages hating on the fact that I decided to take my new

boyfriend on a v H one show. You've only fucking known him for a couple of months. You've only and I haven't only known him for a couple of months. We're both from Baltimore City. I've known this guy for at least five plus years. Actually, his little brother was one of my good friends, and I didn't even know that that was his brother. Listen, that's so craziest, It's so funny, y'all. Hear about that on the show. But anyway back to my ship? How can you feel so

fucking entitled to tell me any of this ship? I got old guys that I used to talk to. Never mind you, none of these guys were even my boyfriend. But you know everybody has somebody that they talked to a talk to situations. Damn, I wasn't good enough. How you gonna take yo on TV? I wasn't good enough. You don't even understand the ship that is coming out of your fucking mouth. The ship that is coming out of your mouth is saying, Jess, you're supposed to be

my come up. Y'all don't even know that ship is seeping through your voice. That's even louder than the actual words that you're saying. Jess, you're supposed to put me on Jess, You're supposed to be my come up so I can use you up and then abuse you and then fucking leave you. You're supposed to be my come up. There's a fucking reason why I ain't fucking with either one of your niggas no more. I even have a friend that hits me about the new friend that I've

been around. If you have been paying attention to me and then you will see I have a new friend. This girl's energy is prophetic. I love it. It's her fucking energy. She does something for me as well. No fucking homo, because I know everybody's mind is gonna go straight to the God. I'm not gay. I have a boyfriend. Uh but no, her energy is fucking needed. It's necessary. All I've been fucking surrounded by here and there are fucking leeching devils. Seriously, I'm so fucking sick of it.

And I hate to say it, but I fucking hate people. I do, and that ship feels so good when I say it. Maybe that's toxicity in its own right, but I fucking hate people. Why Because the same exact people who tell you, oh, I love you, Oh I'm always there for you. Oh I I've been here since day one, have fucking betrayed me, and I let you back in my fucking life. Let's not sit here and act like you're fucking married the saint and you haven't done anything to make me question why the funk I'm even still

around you? Are you serious? Fuck you? I can't stand people now. Let's kick it over to a brief break. All I do is put the fucking people that are closest to me on all of my YouTube shows that do the co parents and therapy with my son's dad. Who the funk is he? But I'm trying to put them on, right, come on, I have gas on my fucking podcast, so you people know who these people are in my life. My sister, my best friend, my brother, my other friend. I put people the funk on, But no,

there are levels. There are levels to certain ships that I see. Maybe the podcast is not big enough for them. Oh maybe them going on my YouTube one of my YouTube series is not good enough for them. And then not to mention, I'm still making it my goddamn self. I still have dreams and things that I want to do just by myself on my own v H one Couples Retreat was a great opportunity more than me just going on there with my boyfriend. Like I said, I wanted to open up my audience to a different side

of me. I'm kind of doing it right now, and I kind of don't want to do it. I kind of want to fucking just continue to be fucking ratchet because that's when I get through to everybody. That's when everybody is scared to say ship like that to me when I'm at my mo scratch at this fucking point. But I show a little bit of softness and all that ship, and then everybody's like, well, damn, I've been here since day one. What the funk makes him so great?

You don't even understand the way that you look at me. I see it. I see it clearer. I'm gonna come up to a lot of the people that are close to me, even when we go out to fucking eat, or everybody's just looking looking at me to pay the bill, No bitch, if it's fucking six of us and the bill of six hundred dollars, cough up a hundred dollars every fucking body, or I'm gonna start being like, oh I'm broke, or maybe I won't come to funk out no more. That's just it. I'm so sick of that ship.

I am a regular human being. I'm not obligated to make anyone famous. I'm not obligated to take anyone with me. I actually tried to do that several times, and I've got stepped in the back so many fucking times. So when y'all text me and send me d M S and be like, why him and why not me? And all that ship? Think about how many times you've crossed me. Think about the ship that I did do for you. Don't fucking forget think about how many times I've taken

you back into my life. Friend X, whatever, family member, whoever I'm talking to fucking everyone. I have two friends right now who can't even be in the same fucking room together for too long because one is so fucking territorial that they don't like when I'm with the other one. Envy, jealousy, intimidation for what then I feel like I spread myself then trying not to put these two together. It's like, yo,

I love the energy you bring me. I love hanging around you, but I can't have you two together because then I'm a fucking referee. I know you don't like this person. I know you don't like this person, But what the funk am I to do? Right? It puts me in a fund up place? So what do I do? I did that ship. I go get a new friend. And that may sound very, very fucking cold. I don't give a fuck. You gotta start doing what you have to do for you, because once you stop trying to

live for everybody else. You free yourself of all the standards that people put on you. Like, what the fuck? Why did I even feel bad for a split second. One of my friends called me last night and was like, damn, you told me that I was gonna be in one of your shows. And then I look up and you take your fucking boyfriends, even your real boyfriend, on TV. What are you doing? How come we didn't even know you had a boyfriend, You didn't even post them, but

you went on the show with them. I felt bad for a second, and then I was like, wait a minute, fuck you, fuck you for real, because I don't give a fuck what you think. I don't care how you feel. I need you to understand something about me. I've cared so long about how others look at me, and and this is news to y'all too, because I know I seem so very unapologetic, and for the most part, I am. But when it's people closest to me, they know how

to get under your skin. You may get online and you may post a picture and realize that all your bad comments come from people you don't know, and you're like, fuck them. But when it comes from the people that do know you. It's even more fucked up that you can say that shit about me or to me. You know, it's entitlement. I can't stand it. I don't owe anyone ship. I don't. My boyfriend didn't ask me to take him

on a show. My boyfriend actually said no a trillion fucking times, a billion fucking times, and I had to tell him, listen, I want to help you grow your fucking brand, because you actually have one, unlike so many people that I try to put on who don't have any fucking thing going on. But I always want to have the most to say. He said no, He said no. He was like, no, no, no no, no, no, that's your thing. You're the actress, your celebrity, rather not I don't want

to just I've not been on camera. I'm a really really popular person, but I've not been on camera, and that is not for me. It took me days and days of fucking convincing. We weren't even about to do it because he was taking so long to see the vision that I had for him. Once he said yes, once he checked with his child, he talked it over with his male best friend, his female best friend to

get two different perspectives. Once he really, really really felt comfortable, which he still did not, he told me yes, and that was that. I'm like, I'll coach you. I got you. I want you to trust me. I'm not gonna have you looking bad. I'm not gonna add to you looking bad because listen, when this ship comes out, there are gonna be people who hate you. There are gonna be people who will judge you. There are gonna be people that don't even know you that will look at you

and say anything they want to say. And that's fine. That's what you gotta be prepared for, because I'm prepared for it. There are so many things that I know people are gonna say. I don't give a fuck. So I convinced him to do it, and he did it. He did it for me, and then by the end he know he had did it for himself because it helped him in so many fucking ways. You'll fucking see. For the record, I love helping people who don't ask

for the fucking all the time. I love helping people who I feel like will be better off after I help them. I like helping people who can benefit me as well. Like my trainer, she's my friend. I always knew I wanted to fucking eat better. I just didn't have the discipline. I didn't And I knew I wanted to be vegan. I knew that that. I know that's like a good thing, a better way of eating eating habits. You know, it prevents diabetes, it prevents all these fucking generational,

fucking curses of eating habits and ship. I know that I'd love to live a million more years being vegan. It was just that when I was with Wayne and he introduced me to vegan food, that ship was disgusting. Then I met my trainer, her and her whole family cooks. They're like a fucking vegan five star restaurant by themselves. That's when I realized. I'm like, oh, so all vegan ship isn't nasty. Okay, so now I can eat this ship. Okay, you just have to find what's good for you. I

love to work out. I have a fitness brand. She's a trainer. You see where I'm going with this. It's an exchange of not only energy, but business as well. We're creating content. She's a professional fucking trainer. I'm not. I used to do videos just playing around, not even really working out, and I will work out after, but I'm like, you know, no, why not record the real workout with an actual vegan trainer who's also helping me change my diet, who's helping me meal prep, who's helping

me with fucking energy. Anyway, because I'm a woman and she's a woman, it makes sense. These other people I want to be around. If I can elevate you and you can elevate me, this is great. If we can help each other elevates. These are the people that I want to be around. The people who will not use me, the people who are not looking at me when the fucking bill comes out. No, the people who are not constantly asking me why are you hanging with? These people

hang with me? I hate that. I hate it. I have a really really close friend and you know who you are, bitch. You asked me you're always with them? Now, like, where are you hanging with them? And you have a mill jillion fucking friends, Bitch, I don't care. I hang with who socially satisfied me. That's what it is. And you'll gotta understand in the line of work that I'm in, the ship that I do. It's so easy to attract,

evil people, people who will leach off of you. So understand when I recognize an energy and I like it and it's great. I hold onto that ship because that ship is hard to come by. And just like that, we have come to the end of the episode. I love you, guys. Keep loving on me, because trust me, I do need it. Keep loving me, keep loving me for who the funk I am, And on February two, you will see the other side of who I am.

And just like that, we are done. Peace carefully. Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.