Honeymoon Phase

can help them all. Taylor is a handful by her damn self, but I don't have her reading like David like two weeks so off just so she can brush up on her skills, you know. So we're gonna jump straight into it. Here we are, Hi, Jess. So I've been dating this guy for about six months and things just get better over time. I'm going, that's right. We always do things to keep the connection there and date each other as if we were still trying to win each other over to keep the spark. Oh, I like that.

That's nice. That's what a lot of these mergers should be doing. Okay, Recently I got back in touch with some good old friends of mine and have been going out a little more than usual, which he loved at first, but now I could tell it's starting to bother him. Just let me tell you this, Jess. I'm literally with this man all the time and give him all of my time every time I do have time, okay time. I just don't understand why this would be a problem.

It started about three weeks ago when I came in from a girl's night and yes, I was drunk as hell, but that's what happens when you go out and have a good time. Yeah. I come in the house and the first thing he says to me is you've been drinking. Damn as clear as day. I've been drinking. But why is it a problem? Is what I said to him, And he shook his head and walked off. Girl, completely threw my energy off, so I just went to bed.

Another time is when he invited me out to breakfast one morning and I told him I had plans with my friend later that evening. He still had a problem with that. It's not like I canceled on him. I just told him that I had plans that evening and he completely started giving me attitude, which was really sassy. Hey, don't lessen ladies, Stop throwing a fucking sassy word around for some of these men, because a lot of shit that y'all be saying be sassy don't ain't really be sassy.

Y'all just got a problem with men that have a problem with the shit that y'all be doing. That'll mean the niggas sassy all the time, and everybody got problems with everybody. Don't agree with everything, but stop throwing that sassy word around. I hate that shit, all right. I mean there's some sassy niggas out here, some sassy behaviors by these men out here. Yeah, but everything is not sassy now. I felt like I have to hesitate to even tell him that I'm going out. But it shouldn't

be like that. It shouldn't have to be like that. Question is how do I approach him with a conversation like this to figure out what exactly is the problem? Any advice? Okay, so this is not all that bad. Okay, you have like an easier case, I would say, in my opinion, I do feel that maybe because it's so abrupt, I feel like it's it's probably out of the norm of your pattern, Like you have a normal pattern. It's not what he's used to. And this just kind of

came out of nowhere. You even said it. You know, you said, I recently got back in touch with some old, good old friends of mine. You know what I mean that you probably used to, like really really running my fucking streets with when you were single or in your younger days or whatever. You know, you didn't tell me how old you were, But I'm just saying that really don't even matter. But like, you know what happens when you get caught up with them good old friends. You

know what I'm saying. See the keywords is good old Like you ain't say I caught back up with my couple of my friends that you know, you said good old friends. Honey, you g O O D O L good old so y'all used to have a good old time everywhere y'all fucking went. I know what that's like, you know what I'm saying. And those are the friends

that I don't really hang with anymore. We talk, but I don't hang out with them anymore because I'm not really looking for them good old times I used to have back in the day before shit really started mattering to me, you know, going out drinking, coming in all hours of the night and shit like that, like, you know, really living life like we was living in college dorms. You know what I'm saying, Like those those things, it sounds like he is just more of a traditional guy.

I could say, you said things get better with time. Y'all are constantly trying to, like, you know, reinvent ways that y'all can keep the spark, you know, by by staying in love with each other, complimenting each other, doing whatever that you guys do. Because you didn't really go into depth with that, but I know what that means. You know, you guys don't want to lose the spark.

You're happy he was happy. But I'm gonna challenge you here because you even told me that he was happy for you reconnecting with your good old friends at first, and then he wasn't anymore. He didn't really seem thrilled about it anymore. I bet you what happened is that you started going out a lot a lot, a lot

a lot and not spending that much time at home. Now, I also can empathize with you as a woman when you say, yo, I'm around him all the time, like you know, but it wasn't a problem for you until you got caught up with your good old friends, you know, So maybe that can be a conversation, not maybe that should be the conversation. You know. I spend all my time with you, baby, you know, before even meeting back up with my friends or reconnected with my friends, you know,

which you thought was great for me. It was just us. It was you and I. It was you know, because I'm like that in my relationship now. You know, I don't want to run the streets. I mean, I'll go out here and there, well since I've been pregnant, even doing shit. But before then, yeah, like I'm a fun girl, you know. I do like to hang out with my best friend, my cousins, my homegirls. I have like a very very small tight circle. Everybody doing their own thing.

Everybody got their own business, everybody work, everybody, you know. But on those times where we come together, we come together, and then a lot of times we double date, you know, and we'll triple date. We'll have game night at our house. You know, y'all just have to come to a medium about it. You know. See, if he's open to like game nights at chall house with your friends, and he has friends, you know, does he have friends that he hangs out with? You know, does he have guys nights

and shit like that? Maybe that's also a suggestion that you can have. You know, if he has friends, Yo, how about you you hang out with your guys. I hang out with my girls. You know, how about we do like a joint thing where we'll have game nights. You know, how about we double date? We go out with my friends and their significant others or whoever they would.

You know, unless all them bitches are single, done, that's a problem, because that's what his problem at If all I'm single and all they doing is going out, is working and drinking and shit, m you know, it ain't really nothing left to do other than getting into some shit at that you've been drinking, it's t working and coming from the club all night. If that's all y'all doing. You know, I'm just saying. I'm just saying so I understand you, but I also understand him as well. You

have to give him some grace. You just went from being his being around him so much and you know, soaking up each other's energy, and like how your message started off, Like I'm been thinking this guy for six months and then y'all still early in this shit. You know what I'm saying, like, don't get round your motherfucker home girls and had them bitches criticizing your relationship and

have you second guessing your relationship. You give what I'm saying because that could happen to a lot of people. Can be an influence. And these your good old friends. I ain't gonna never stop saying it like that. They your good old friends, your bitches from back in the diday, you know. And also if they ain't got what you got,

then it's gonna show. You know what I'm saying. You want a relationship, you gotta remember that at the end of the day, you can't live like you used to, you know what I'm saying, You can't, especially if you're telling me things get better over time. You know, we always do things to keep the connection there and date each other and all that type shit. Yeah, and at first you wasn't this fun go party to go lucky girl and shit, you know, and they're out of nowhere.

You just became that. So he just wanted to know that he ain't gonna lose you to that party shit. You know, he don't want to be looked at like no sump neither. You know. Have you introduced him to your friends? That's another thing to you. Oh, by the way, this is the guy I've been telling y'all about this, the guy I've been up under since you know, reconnecting with you guys, before reconnecting with you guys. This is

the love of my life. I feel whatever, you know, whatever you want to say, but make him still feel like y'all in a relationship, you give what I'm saying, and just give him some grades like fastes. That night you say when you came in and he was like, damn even drinking. That was the first thing he said. Imagine how many times you came in like that? Just imagine how many times you came in like that? Because I feel like you went from not going out at

all to going out a whole lot. And you gotta gradually change your pattern, if that's what you know, and keep that open line of communication, like, baby, it's been fine. I love being with you. I didn't think that I was actually gonna have this much fun being with them. I miss my friends, but I miss you. What I'm out to like, you have to find a balance with that shit, you know, because everybody ain't going for that. So find your balance. Don't lose your man, you know.

Don't lose your friends either, but definitely don't lose yourself, you know. But don't lose your mad because you want to go out and be out here partying and shit, don't do that. Get back with me though, all right, if you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back.

My family and friends love the way it's going, but they don't seem very hopeful for me, like something is going to happen, So it kind of makes it harder for me to be more open with my relationships with them. You sound like me, Oh my god. My mom and my dad used to and they would get tired of meeting niggas like, yo, he only going to be in your life for three weeks. Stop I but I totally get out totally. This is in my younger days, though I glow about him all the time and even showing

change in myself, positive change. Whenever I would do that, it would be a lot of frowned upon and speculating faces, which isn't the energy that I'm looking for. I know that they just want the best for me, but it started to become a little bitter and making me feel a type of way. I just want them to be happy for me and support me through whatever as I would with them. As of right now, I just be

living my life and enjoying my relationship. But this is something that crosses my mind frequently because I do want to start bringing him around and get him to interact with my friends and family so they can see how good of a guy he is, but they make it so uncomfortable to do. So how do you think I should handle this? Hm? Okay, I will say, you know, I do understand. And first of all, y'all ain't even

letting me know your age is no more. I feel like you're all young, and I feel like you're a little young with a snapper, you know, same as I was. But whether young or not, this is the thing, This is the deal. Okay, your family, it's probably tired of meeting people, falling in love with these people, getting to know these people, interacting with these people, building genuine bonds with these people, you know, with these men or whatever you know, or guys or whatever, and it's so short

lived the relationship, you know. So now we gotta cut this man off. Now we gotta wonder if we should put a foot in his ass because it's something he's done to you now, you know, Because people's families don't play about them. I mean, it's a lot of families that ain't close, but that we're a family. People misconstrued that I don't play about my fucking family. I got a little sister, I don't play about I don't I got a big brother. I don't play about it. I

got a big brother. They don't fucking play about me. My little sister don't play about me either. The relationship before this one, that girl wanted to take that nigga head off. Believe that, you know, and a little young ass could do so you know, she could fight, she could fight, you know, she get it from me. So and then even a couple of her relationships, you know, with her being twenty. You know, I'm not ever opposed

to meeting somebody. You know, I'm not ever opposed to you know, I'm not oppositional about saying, oh, hello, how you doing whatever, whatever, But I don't even like to get to know people. So I definitely feel your family on this, and I don't like to get to know people and get close to them and then out of no way, I see my baby sister crying or is she breaking up with this person or she going through shit? And rightfully, so, no relationship is ever going to be perfect.

None is perfect. You know, it's just keep it there. You know. There's gonna be times where you're sad, you're frustrated, their arguments and they're but no one should be sitting anywhere fucking crying because they feel like they're putting more than they're you know, into a relationship than they're getting nobody.

So it's been like a couple of people I wanted to put my mother fucking hands on, you know, when it came to my sister and these are people that I get to know and shit, you know, because she is social butterfly. She She's a beautiful girl, creative, charming, you know, she's just like me, Purri, you know, like Swaggy, all that good person at heart. And she's a lover

you feel me. And people take advantage of that shit, and when they do take advantage of it, you want to do something about it, you know what I'm saying, after you'dnt already met and started building a bond with the person. Because this is, you know, your boyfriend or this is your girlfriend, and I'm your family member. I want to support you and all your happiness and your success and how you feeling. But the moment somebody turned on you, I'm at the front line like, yeah, that's right,

who the fuck need to be smack? You know? So I definitely understand it. And then even in my case, my mom didn't want to meet Chris, like right away, she didn't. You know, I had a tendency of falling in love very very fast, putting the title on shit very fast before I fully got to know people. And that's why my mom knows that I had She knew that I had a pastor that you know I had a history of that. Everybody knew that. My dad, he's never said no, I don't want to meet such and such.

I meet him, you know what I mean. But he never really stepped too far in my relationships, you know. My mom, she was like, Nope, don't introduce me to nobody else until you notice is the person you're gonna be with, because I'm tired of meeting people and I'm tired of creating bonds with them, and then you get upset with me because I don't cut them off when you cut them off. You know, my mom's not that

type of person. I act like I never knew your fucking ass half to dating you for three years, fuck like, and I swear that's my ship right there, that's my ship there. I will act like I never fucking seen you before and speak to you again and introduce myself like, how you know I ain't never seen you around here before. It'll be a whole ex I'm talking about. What excuse me? How on?

couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen now. Understanding your side, I understand it because I've been there. I know my little sister's been there. I know my brother has been there. I know how that is. I know there's been times that we can't really see the role ahead, you know, because we're so trusting, we're so open, we're so quick to love on somebody, you know that we forget to actually get to know them.

You know what I'm saying, the first three or four months that you're dating somebody, you ain't really dating that person anyway. That's what I always say. You know, it's a trial period. You know how you get a job and it's a trial period. You know, you got ninety days probation. You love your job, and then you slowly but surely start to hate your job. You know what I'm saying, because when you start saying everybody for what

they are, you start falling out with co workers. They're asking you to do more, and then they hired you to do you feel like you're underpaid and overwork and shit like that. That usually comes after that ninety fucking days. You know what I'm saying. That's the same with everything, same with everything, same in a relationship, you know, because nobody's gonna really show you who they are upfront, up front? How are you when you're sick of being around a person?

How are you when your moody? How are you when you in your period? How are you when you know you don't get no pussy for weeks at a time or days at a time. And how are you if somebody make you mad? You know what I'm saying. Ain't nobody gonna be focused on making you may trying to make the person that you're fucking with for three months mad in the first three months, you know what I'm saying, Just because everything is just so great. You know, you

know you've been in this relationship for four months. You get what I'm saying. So it's always good to take your space too, Like, don't be up under a motherfucker all the time, because then you'll get tired of that person. That's what happened with me. I would get tired a niggas, and the same thing that I thought was cute about a nigga in the first two months would be devastatingly

tacky about the same nigga. Same shit he been doing, same but he's been wearing the same socks he been wearing with the hole in the bottom I used to think was cute. Now I thank you, bum Like all everything his mother, I thought his mother was cool. She a clown now, like every Listen, that's why you got to get to know people, and you don't get to know nobody in four months. You know what I mean. It's people that are newlyweds, I mean married, that are

still getting to know each other. Me and my boyfriend are still getting to know each other. Right now, you get what I'm saying. Every relationship is different. I'm not comparing yours to mine. All I can do is give you my experience, you know, and give you what I think we've beneficial to you. You know, as far as you needing advice about it, don't be so hard on your family. You know, because they love you and they want to protect you no matter the fuck what, and

they want to help protect your feelings. Sometimes you gotta let people go through things. I had to get like that with my little sister. Should let her go through things, you know, because people let me go through things. When I was younger, I thought, but I thought every boyfriend I had from the time I was what eighteen to fucking twenty five was the one? Was the one? Right? Silly me? But then not silly. Mean, when you're young, you ignore red flags. You got the blinders on you

get you know what I'm saying. So girl, I just want to let you know that, don't be so hot in your family and then share your experience with just you. You know, love on yourself, love on that person, but love on yourself more, you know, not saying be selfish with that person. But you know, cause it could be you too. It ain't got to always be the other person. It could be your ass, you know what I'm saying. Think about why so many of your relationships failed. Don't

blame it on another person. Don't be quick to do that. It could be you. It could be you had just haven't found everything you're looking four in one person yet, And let me tell you, that's gonna take a while a long time, because nobody's perfect. If we can build our own person, everybody will be with who they want to be with. But that's that's the genius and dating.

That's that's why we date, to figure out what we will accept, what we want to accept, who we are because you learn things about yourself in every relationship, whether you're talking to a nigga, fucking a nigga, you with them, or whatever, you learn things about yourself. This is inappropriate for me. These are my boundaries. This is what I will allow, This is what I will not like. Learn yourself and love yourself. Move forward to your relationship. Shit,

give that shit, six months? Give that shit eight months? Why do you want to tell everybody anyway? Nah? Don't. Don't tell everybody, and then I'm telling you. I'm telling you, baby girl, four months. I wouldn't want to meet a nigga after four months, Neiga. You know if I'm your mom or your sister, your you know, brother, cousin, friend, that I four months ain't enough for me, especially if

I know you and I've seen this before. Nah, don't bring that nigga around me until y'all six to eight months in seriously, and don't bring them to me until y'all have had some fucking differences, Like if y'all had arguments, So, like, y'all need to get to know each other. Like I said, like I argue with a nigga, you know what I mean? Don't pick a fight, but no, find out what he don't like. You know, like I don't want me to me you ain't never been through nothing. That's some bullshit

I want to know. Oh, all right, So we had a fight, We had a disagreement, and shit, he handled it this way. I could have handled it better. Well, he could have handled it better, but we both talked it over. We're good.

you know what I'm saying. So until y'all have been through some shit and y'all like got through it and you're not turned off by it, don't introduce that person to nobody and he shouldn't be offended that your family don't want to should explain that shit to him, just like you told me, I fall in love too fast and I've had a pass of doing that and blah blah blah blah. So like, you know, just say that shit, say that shit, tell him that he can't be upset.

That's your past, but that was before him, and that's just a result of your past, you know, with your family. But trust me, they don't want to not like it, nobody. That's why they don't want to meet him right now, because they don't want to not like his ass in the future and then have to ride at dawn and shit, because you come home like this, nigga put his hand around my neck, like what you know what I'm saying, So don't be so hard on them. But I love

this story and keep me updated. Love, And just like that, we've come to get the end of another Catholic Records episode with your girl. Just hilarious. Now next week you'll I may have tailor bag because we got some I'm reading through these stories and it looked like we got a whole fucking newspaper article. So y'all know that means they real long. Please feel free to send the voice memois and look, I don't get no more voice memos. Y'all ass be like this nigga going no my voice.

It's scared as all right, So just make sure you tune in each and every Wednesday. And I'm on maternity lead, but make sure y'all don't stop tuning into Breakfast Club. My girl lour La Rosa is feeling in for me while I am out for maternity leave, and she's getting to the t y'all. It's still just with the mess segment, but Lauren just got it on lock y'all, So make sure y'all tune in each and every day. Lauren ain't about to fix your mess now. She just about to

keep give y'all the mess. She ain't fixing the mess. You just giving y'all a mess. So if you have stories, send them to the Carefully Reckless DM or send them to the email attached to Jesselarisofficial dot com. Love y'all and then my deepest Pam voice please.