Help Me Again!

really need your help. Thank you again. Okay, So right now, me and my ex have been dealing with each other on and off for about four years. And yes, the question you're probably wondering, was it his fault? Yes, it's his fault every time. I haven't saw him in about three months until recently I invited him to my hotel for a drink. I don't know why I did it. I mean because you missed him. You was probably already drinking and was like, shit, I need a little dicky dicky.

So then you called him. Let me continue. I was just feeling spontaneous and I was bored Okay. We sat in the lobby and literally talked for like five hours and it was very positive. Oh, y'all missed each other. Honey. It was like I was talking to a whole new person and I kind of was feeling him again. Oh

I know, that's right. That's what happened. When you create time, when you put time in between you and a person, or create space in between you and a person, it could be for the better, it could be for the worse. So they were talking for five hours, Okay, So I invited him to stay. Oh oh, and when I tell you, the night was amazing, it was amazing. And I said amazing like that because she had all cats y'all. We watched our favorite shows and movies and ordered our favorite

food like we used to, and also did shroms. Oh yeah, I know that sex was ball Doc kill On. Oh yeah, all right. He ended up going to sleep before me and leaving me up with a racing mind. Oh yeah, when you on shrooms, y'all just want to let you know your mind wanders even when you don't want it to. That is a high you cannot control. So I know she was going through it. Wait, how the hell he go to sleep on some shrooms. Y'all must have had the bullshit trims, because I can't ever go to sleep

on shrooms. I don't know, I don't know. I don't know, y'all let me know. If y'all go to sleep on them, they leave me up for hours. Girl, tell me why. I saw him put the cold in his phone earlier that day and reverted back to it that night. Oh shit, and he was on shrooms. Oh lord, don't go through a niggaphone for one, but don't go through a niggaphone on shrooms. And I decided to go through his phone. I know what you're thinking, Yeah, bitch, you're crazy, but

I don't care. I did it, and I was happy I did it. I found out everything I needed to know, and I even found out what he was doing while we were still together. Oh shit, girl, you went how far back did your goal? God damn? She said. Listen. He was sleep and I was up shrimming, bitch, I had all the time I needed. He was literally lying to me the whole time. I was crushed, and then you know, I was on shterms, so my mind was everywhere,

which made me wake his ass up. And I told him when he get us olf together, he needs to get the fuck out. He looked at me very confused, so I had to repeat myself, when you get yourself together, get the fuck out. And then this nigga acted like he didn't know anything I was talking about. I told him to open up his phone and go to his messages once he was done. He needed to get the

fuck out. And I don't know what delusional type of shit he was on, but he proceeded to go to his messages like he didn't know what the fuck I was talking about and was just looking stupid and started crying. I didn't give a fuck. This literally took me back to the reason why we broke up in the first place. So my question to you is why are all these niggas clowns and why they be so in denial and delusional and liars. Oh my god, this girl, this girl

gonna get me an award. I'm telling you, because she comes to me for her mess all the time. Y'all. This is somebody, and I'm wondering her life is always in some day shambles. I'm trying to figure out why she don't write a goddamn book. She need to be helping fixed mess. That's what she needed to do, because she's been through a lot, and she's she seems very wise because she goes through something every week. So like I find myself helping this girl every week. But I

love it. Okay, So in all seriousness, first and foremost, I'm questioning why you would go through his phone if y'all technically wasn't together. You said you missed them, y'all technically haven't even been together seeing each other in a while, you know, And this wasn't just somebody you was fucking with for a few months. This was an actual relationship. I remember your story before. This was an actual relationship, you know, like for years and years, you know, and

then y'all broke up for whatever reason. Of course, you told me that it was his fault. Okay, So you created a distance between you guys and put a lot of time and between you guys, and people do change. We're gonna stop pushing that narrative, like people don't evolve, and people don't change, and people don't stop cheating that saying once it chet are always a cheater. I also don't believe in once a liar, always a liar. I don't believe in that. We have to give people grace,

you know, we have to extend that. As the good brother ty Reese would say. In my opinion, yes, if he wasn't your boyfriend, if you guys weren't actually together, you had no business going through his phone. I don't know if that's something that you guys are used to doing, whether you guys are together or not, but that number one is a no no for this reason. One y'all

weren't back together, and then two you were shrooming. As an avid shromer, I can tell you don't want to step foot and shit like that while you are on a shroom high, because anything could have happened. Anything, Your mind wanders and then then you start acting out of your full character. Then you you know, And I'm not trying to scare anybody away from doing shrooms because it's actually an enlightening psychedelic, you know, and it's really good.

It can open you up, and it just opens your mind and it makes you become one with nature or whatever you It helps you face your demons, It helps you actually get out any anything that you have bottled up, and you feel good about it. It's also a body high, so you're numb to a lot of shit. And I'm really really selling this shit here. This is you know, but shrooms are used for a bunch of different things

across the world. But it's really really good. It's it's an enlightening psychedelic So I don't like to step in anything negative while I'm shrewming. And I know you as a female, you couldn't help it, you know. And then also y'all sit in that lobby and y'all talked for those five hours, went down memory lane, came back as lovers. After y'all came back from memory Lane, and y'all went upstairs and y'all did the goddamn do. But before y'all got there, it was just a rekindle, you know, a flame,

an old flame. Y'all are each other's old flame, you know. So it's like, damn, and that happens. That happens more often than not. I want people to understand that, like it's okay reconnecting with an X it is. It really is. When it becomes not okay is when y'all haven't gotten passed. Whatever the reason may be that y'all are exes. If y'all didn't put everything out on the table and iron those kinks out, because that's honestly what y'all should have

talked about. If y'all were planning to sleep together and you was planning to go through the phone, I think you just probably got a little carried away just looking for something. Because you know, as a woman, we can lay down with our ex and we can feel all that shit come back, and we can say, oh shit, I want you back. We can make a decision like, all right, I'm gonna just fuck back with them. But we get curious because we never got over what they

did to us before. But we just love them so much and in that moment, we don't give a fuck your mind right now in this moment, and everything good that we had is coming back because we're really in a good mood right now. Y'all never talked about and ironed out the kinks of what happened to y'all before in that relationship. So you got a little carried away and you went through his phone, But you shouldn't have

touched this phone if you weren't his girlfriend. But that's what that five hours of conversation didn't That's what I was trying to say. I know it sounds like I'm talking in circles. Yeah, that's what that five hours of conversation was. Don't nobody just sit with somebody for five hours? And like you said, you didn't even plan to sleep with him. You missed him. You know you were bored. You said you were bored, but I think you missed him because God, when you bored, there's so many other

things to do when you bored. You ain't got to call your X, you know what I mean. But yeah, he doesn't owe you any loyalty now because you guys are not together. And now I want to know this, say, if he would have went through your phone, would he have found something? And you didn't put that in there? You didn't, you know, I don't know if you even

will when you respond back or keep me updated. Would he be able to go through your phone and not see anything, because then that's just us trying to have our cake and need it too. You can't get upset at him about something that you're doing too, because then it's a contradiction and you probably feel like, well, this don't for saying to me because he cheated first, and this that and the other. And yeah, but two wrongs

don't make it right. I know you heard that cliche saying, you know, I know it sounds very cliche, but it's it's the truth. You know, two wrongs don't make it right. You need to tell me what do you want? What do you want? Do you want to be back with him? Do you? Cause you said it reminded you going through his phone reminded you when you saw whatever you saw of why you left. But y'all weren't together in that moment,

you know. And I know you can go on and say I don't care, I don't give a fuck, but that's why I can't trust him. You called them, You called them to come there to the hotel. Yeah, he was an X for a reason. He is an X for a reason. But you called him, you know, And has he been reaching out to you? Also? Tell me, like, did he ever try to get you back when you left for what he did? Or you know, has he ever stopped trying? Because it could be one or two things.

He could have been on your line real heavy and you just gave in because you were sitting at the barge. That's also a possibility because if you went a long time without talking to him. You were just holding out as long as you could, you know. And I've been there too, girl, getting away from somebody that I love so much because they don't treat me as good as I deserve to be treated. But we turn a blind eye to a lot of things that these men do, you know, because we want to be loved, then we

do love them, you know. So it is what it is. But in this situation, I would say, you were absolutely wrong. But if this is something that you want, I think you guys should work at it. I think what you guys should do is meet up, because it seems like it's still a lot of love there and it seems like just the instant replay of the breakup. But y'all wouldn't have found y'allselves back in each other's presence if

there was nothing else there to fix. If you feel like it's worth fighting for, I say, y'all, meet up. Y'all have a goddamn conversation. Y'all put everything on the table. You tell him what you do. You tell them. I don't care if you got four or five niggas that you just entertaining right now. You tell him that you tell him that because you can't go through his phone and figure out every fucking thing he doing, and then he asks you about what you're doing, and then you

start lying. I've done that as well, because we feel like what they won't know, what they don't know won't hurt them because men takes Men take that shit a lot harder than we take it, to be honest, if we're being honest. I'm not saying all men, but in my experience, men take their excess dealing with other men or moving on way worse than we take it. They keep it bottled up. They keep it bottled up. They don't really show outwork, they don't really show that shit.

We're just emotional creatures as women, you know. But guys they have a hard time coping with that when somebody has moved on and heartbreaks and men have heartbreaks as well, you know. So I think y'all should just lay it out on the table. You tell him what you're doing, he tell you what. I guess what you already know because you done went through everything, girl, I know you

done went through the DMS. You can't go through the messages without going to the DMS, and you can't go through the dams without going on Twitter and the messages, and you can't check the Twitter without going in the recent calls, and you can't check the recent calls without going in the FaceTime. I mean, if you don't have an iPhone, do you know, then I don't know how to manroids work. But that's how it worked when you're going through a nigga I phone because I've been through

more than I can even remember. So yes, I know that. So girl, you and then he was on them rooms. I know you didn't check this nigga apps like I know you didn't. Girl. Girl, you don't probably scroll through the context to see if he's storing a bitch's name under a nigga's name. Girl, I listen, I didn't done it at all, So I know you probably was check checking to see if he got a text free app, girl, cause them niggas do that too, But so do we because I've done that as well, damn Ina putting my

business out there. But that's what I gotta do to help y'all fix y'all mess because I ain't squeaky clean, I ain't perfect patty. I'm not cookie cutter, y'all know. So that's what I think. I think you should also write me back, update me again, you know, just letting me know if this is what you really want, because I think you do. You wrote me about this man before, and I think you do. I just think that y'all are y'all have grown to be very toxic, and I

still think that you can turn that around though. Y'all just have to be more communicative with each other, and y'all have to be honest about everything, honest, even you, Missy. You know, you going around snooping and shit playing private eye. If he started doing the same thing. It's a lot of things I'm pretty sure that he would find in your phone that would not make him happy. It doesn't matter who is the reason for y'all breaking up, you

know what I mean. All that matters is that you still want this man somehow, some way, and so y'all have to come to a come to a common ground, you know. And this is what made me leave you before. I felt betrayed. I felt although you weren't my boyfriend, because I do think you owe him an apology for going through his phone although you weren't my boyfriend, but I still think you owe him an apology with an explanation like, Yo, that just triggered me, because that triggered you.

I don't care which that triggered you. You were like, oh shit, because you said you had a flashback of why y'all broke up. So that tells me that you're not healed and you don't trust him fully, but that

doesn't stop you from loving him. So you need to decide whether you're going to walk away from it all together or if you're going to try to trust him, because you can't say you can't get back with somebody that you didn't forgive for doing you wrong previously, because then you're gonna grow to hate him and then you know,

and it's not fair for either one of you. So keep me updated, let me know what's going on, because I needed and I always say, if you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back moving on. We have another story. This one is also written Hey Jess. So me and one of my closest friends had a fallen out right after I moved away. I had to move away because I met the man of my dreams and he works as a contractor, so he landed a big contract in Houston. I said contract.

I said that really literate, and y'all heard, y'all heard, and say, I know, y'all, dad, let me say it over landed a big contract in Houston, which is where we now live. Long story short, he proposed, and I'm getting married soon, but still haven't spoken to my friend in a while. I'm torn I wouldn't feel right getting married without her there by my side. I've reached out multiple times and I just have been left on red and she hasn't returned any of my calls. Wow, what

the hell y'all fall out about? Jesus? So I'm trying to figure out whether or not I should even invite her because she hasn't responded in a year. Damn. The reason for the falling out is because I told her I would Okay, look you about to answer my question. Good. The reason for the falling out is because I told her I would have to up and move to Houston from Ohio and her and I plan to start a business together, as we always said we would do when we were younger, but things changed for both of our

lives suddenly. What should I do? Hmm? Okay, So I say a lot of a lot of interesting parts about this story I want to pick out. Okay, so she's one of your closest friends. Oh so you didn't say best friend. Okay, but I'm just gonna say you're you're a really good friend. I'll just say that. Okay. Y'all had a fallen out and you moved away right after that.

And the falling out was because of your move. You were telling her that you had to just up and move to Houston because you know, your boyfriend at the time, who was now your fiance. Your boyfriend is this big contractor and he landed a really good, a big contract in Houston. So you had to move from Ohio to Houston. So you didn't even move down the street from your best friend, you know, from your good friend. You moved like miles and miles and I'm talking about hundreds of

thousands of miles away. You moved where she has to she can drive, but you know, ultimately she would have to fly to you, you know, if she didn't want to drive. You know, So you didn't just move in Cincinnati and y'all niggas was living in Cleveland, y'all. Uh uh, y'all, y'all y'all moved, you moved far, okay, and then you said, and then he proposed to you, and congratulations. I love love, I love wedding bells, I love all of that. So congratulations, girly.

But you went on to say you reached out even after the argument. I don't know. Did you wait to reach out? Did you reach out immediately when you got to Houston? I need a little bit more meat on the bone, I don't. These are the things I don't know. However, I still can, you know, give you advice without all that meat. But I wanted to know how long did you wait to even hit her? You know? Was it a long time? And then also were you posting does

she still follow you on social media? Were you able to see that she was watching you and your story? Now you may not be a person to see to go through views and see what's going on, but you know this is your good friend, and if you want to see if she's been keeping track of you but not just not reaching out to you or talking directly to you, that's what you do. You can go through I mean, because that would obviously state that she still cares, but she's just still angry. I think what it is.

Y'all been friends for so long, and y'all had life plans as friends to do business together. You know what I'm saying. This reminds me of the movie Bride'smaids that I actually watched. It was one of my favorite movies. It was two best friends. One of them got married and was moving away, actually moving further away than her best friend would have liked, you know, and they were

supposed to I don't I don't remember. I don't quite remember if they were supposed to go into business together, but I know that they had plans to do things together just as best friends. And she kind of felt like our best friend was taken away from her abruptly, and you know, and we're not going to be able to be down the street from each other anymore. We're not gonna be able to have these long, long, long conversations.

You know, you have a man now, you know, So getting away from that movie, although it is real life, your situation is very common. That's the point of me bringing up the movie. It's very common. So I think your best friend is just dealing with having to see you level up, and it's and also this is not me calling her a hater in a bad way. This is not me saying that she's jealous of you, or she's envious or whatever. That may be the case, but it's not bad being jealous. Jealousy is not always bad.

It's not, it's not. It's not that. It's totally human to be jealous of someone that was very close to you, who just took off when we were supposed to be building to take off together. You know, do you get what I'm saying? You kind of see my drift. It's nothing wrong with being honest enough to say, yo, I felt like you and I and I don't know if your best friend, your good friend is ever gonna tell you this or be honest enough with you about it.

But you're always like you left me here struggling. We used to struggle together, and although not your responsibility, and you don't have an obligation to stay here and struggle with me. If your life is presenting you, if it blessings, if your life is presenting you blessings at a certain time, because both of you, guys's journey are different. You know, maybe she'll take off next year. Maybe you know this just happened to you in a different time. Maybe she'll

meet the man of her dreams next year. Maybe she can get the business started on her own. Maybe, you know, maybe that was a test for her. You know whose business idea was it. Maybe it was her idea for business, and she thought that she would be doing it with you. But maybe she's gonna do it on her own and it be even bigger than she had envisioned when it was supposed to be you too. Everybody has her own path.

But you seem to love her, you seem to miss her, And it's a very very nice gesture and heartfelt to say that, Yo, I can't get married if my girl in here. You know, I don't feel right getting married if my girl is not here. Hold up, hold up, I know the shit getting good. But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me,

you'll listen. So it's making a trip back home to Ohio, you know, your old home, because he'll snitz your new home now, rightfully so, But is that something that you're opposed to actually going to fly and see her, going to fly to see her, to have a conversation. Look, I'm in your face. I flew to you. You ignored me. For a year. Yes, I up and left. My life is different and so is yours. You know such and such. You know, because you didn't tell me your name, and

I don't want you to. But look, I'll just say, Maggie, look, Maggie, like we we're friends. We're friends first, you know. I don't want you to feel like we can't talk about this. We've been through so much. I bet you guys have you said? She's been your closest friend for a long time. And y'all made plans when y'all were younger to be CEOs and bosses together. You know what I'm saying. This

has obviously really affected her. And while you're off living your happily, everlasting life, she's still, I guess, stuck at home dealing with the problems that she was dealing with when you left her. If you can just have a little empathy for her and didn't go see her ass, now, listen, if you don't want to, totally, totally I understand because now in your defense, come on, bitch, not a whole year. Come on, now, that's what happened with me and April Jones.

When I was going through the shit with April, that bitch ain't talked to me for almost a goddamn well it's six months. Six month, yeah, like six like more than six months. It wasn't quite a year. But I think we was friends no more, bitch, I don't try after a certain amount. And me and April wasn't even childhood friends. I had met her in LA and we hit it off. She had great energy, so did I. And then you know, things, I just started seeing things

that I didn't like. And you know, I'm me being from a different place, and I don't I never got fully eclimated to a place like LA, so I haven't been Los angelesed, you know what I'm saying. And a lot of people that move from their hometowns to LA become lost, angelized, and I just I, yeah, that's not me. It's like they don't even know who the fuck they

be no more. You know, I don't know if it's them running from something or but a lot of people that move to LAB, I guess Maddie turned into different people and they they lose their fucking roots. And I literally have watched that. You know, It's just it's just I've gone through that that same thing with a close friend you know, go fly and see her, Go fly and here do that. Because even with me and April not being friends anymore and that's falling out, I still

could have flown to Chicago to go see here. She was going through some things, and I did. I did, and still do have my own life, you know, I had. I have my own shit going on. But sometimes it is bigger than you, and sometimes you receive blessings when you just act selflessly. And I'm not selfish, but I just I don't know. I wasn't wrong for not going, and I don't feel like I was right for not going either, so you know, but I think in this case, this is a bond from childhood and it can be saved.

You know, her ignoring you and all that she ain't disrespecting you. You know, I still disagree with letting a fucking year pass, but you don't know what she's been through in that year. So I would say, actu big contract the husband and gets you a motherfucking fly, and go fly and go see your friend and then update me and let me know what's going on. Booth. I

loved this story. I enjoyed it. It's very relatable and I'm happy that I could relate to it and give you my own past experiences to kind of help you and kind of guide you. It'll all be okay again. Congratulations on that beautiful wedding girl, And if y'all need a host, I charged thirty thousand dollars off the rip

since he's a big contractor. And just like that, we come to the end of another carefully reckless episode with your girl Jessilarius, who do what I'll be fixing mess y'all, and in my deepest paying voice, peace you next week. Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.