Heartbreak Kid

so I had a big show. I had a big show at the MGM Grand in National Harbor. That's the d m V. That's Oxing Hill, Maryland, right near d C. Right that's still can cidered Maryland. So that's still what I consider a big part of my home. You know, d m V. I'm from Baltimore, So we all together. I don't give a funk who get offended on this ship about this ship whatever. When it comes to outsiders, we're all together. So Baltimore shows and d C shows are the two biggest shows that I have of the year.

So this MGM show that I just did March that was about two three weeks ago. I sold it out. I sold it out the year before that. I sold it out the year before that and the year before that. This is my fourth time selling out MGM National Harbor. I received a plaque with my name my face in a coin for every year that I've sold it out, that I've played on this stage. They had my mother present the plaque to me at the end of my set.

When I tell you, that made me feel so fucking good to look up and see my mother, who's always had stage fright, except for in church. You know, everybody shy until they get a church and they want to stand up and shouting all that, but not. My mom is a deacon in the church. She was raised in the church, and she raised me and my brother as well in the church. And she's still in the church. Still is a devoted believer in God, like a woman

of God. And this past year has been one of the hardest but also the most victorious years for my mother, celebrating a divorce. She was married to my father for thirty plus years before I was born. And we've got to live our lives. Me and my brother got to live our lives, our child lives, you know, as our childhood. We got to have our parents together. Although we're just founding out now that they weren't happy as you know when we were kids. They weren't as happy as they thought,

as they wanted us to think. But they kept us out of that They kept us out of that ship, and they just decided a year ago to divorce my mom. It was actually my mom's decision. You know, infidelity, lives, cheating, all that ship. You know, when that ship just stacks up on you and ship, you get fed up, you get tired, years and years and years of it. You get tired of it, you know, and you have to start living for yourself because we're grown now. So you

can't live for us no more. Mom. You can't live for him because he ain't been living for you. You know. You gotta live for yourself. So my mom has this glow about her, the most beautiful woman that I know in my life. She's one of the hardest working women as well. Beautiful, fucking beautiful. I'm gonna hype up my baby.

That's my baby. My mom is my baby. And in that moment, me seeing her with this newfound confidence and this then this beauty sachet across that stage in that white track suit talking about I know why y'all love my baby, and I'm so happy that y'all love my baby, and I just want to thank you all for making her, help make her the star who she is. And you know, she gave me a wonderful speech. And honestly, can y'all

believe that Jessica Robin Moore did not cry? I did not cry, And y'all know I'm such a cry baby, but I didn't cry. You know, I was just I felt so liberated and the fact that not only another black woman is presenting me this plaque, but the black woman who had a hand in creating me, who birthed me.

You understand, that was a moment for me. And while I had that moment, while I felt so liberated and just accomplished and at one of my milestones and winning what I'm sure is just one of many plaques I'm going to receive in my near future, I was saddened in the same moment because my father wasn't there to be on that stage right next to her presenting me that plaque. Now, y'are not together, I get it, y'all not together, but y'all both are still my parents. Nothing

about a divorce is going to change that. Nothing about a separation a breakup is going to change the fact that I have two parents alive and both well, and you were able to come. The excuse that my father gave me for not being there was because he didn't want to run it to my mom's new boyfriend. Oh, nigga, what what? I ain't ready to just see her with somebody else. But what, nigga, are you crazy? But she had to see you before the inc even dried with

another woman, not just one, two women. You was back and forth between two women that my mom had to see you with. Like I said, the ink wasn't even dry, nigga on the divorce papers. Let's take it even a step before that, before a divorce, you were still creeping and doing all of this ship. You know what I'm saying. But you, with yourselfish but asked, can't bring your ask to your daughter's show. This ain't my mom's show, it's my show. Now. My dad already don't come to my shows.

You know, I expected this, But what I didn't expect was to fill some type of way about it. I'm telling you, me and my dad we're so much alike. We're kind of like I'm not. I'm not gonna say cold hearted, because we're really good people, but sometimes we can be very unfair in ways, and we can be so selfish in our own way, you know. And I get that part from my dad, and I honestly just really thought that I wasn't gonna feel anything about it because I don't expect him to come to shows any show.

It don't matter to me. I've been stopped caring about that ship a long time ago. Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good. But listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen now. Backstory, all y'all know, my dad was literally my best friend, Like he used to be my best friend. I used to be closest with my dad. You know that kind of changed recently since the divorce. My father felt like when my mother divorced him, so

did I. No, I just didn't take your side. You wanted me to help you get this woman back, and she's done. It was nothing I can do. It was out of my hands. I've watched you cheat on her before. I've watched it even as a can kid. So like this has been going on, What do you do when your favorite parents is your dad. But this ni cheating on your mom. Some kids would say, yeah, my little nine ten year old ass didn't. I wanted to keep that secret for my dad, so I did as an adult.

I apologized about these things to my mom. I I told her, like, you know, she didn't blame me. I was a kid, all right, cool, But um, I definitely had to make that apology because I knew that it was wrong back then as well. But I also knew that I didn't want my dad to be pissed at me for going back telling my mom some ship that could have got him kicked off the house, or that could have bought us to this divorce way earlier. I'm really just being a good, good kid, just trying to

keep the peace. Right now, fast forward back to today, Me and my dad talked about him coming. Me and my dad. He was supposed to bring my little sister. Now, mind you, I have a little sister that my dad had outside of the marriage. Um, he was still married to my mom. But yeah, that's how I have a little sister that's his daughter, and my mom claims her just like she is my mom's biological daughter as well. So there's no love lost there, none of that ship.

It took a while to get there, but we're there. We're all a good fucking family now. Everything is good. Everybody's good. The thing is, my dad still feels some type of way. So he told me a few months ago, Look, I'm moving to Boston. I gotta start of I can't live here. And it is what it is now. This is just the motions that you go through when you lose a good woman, you know, and it's your fault. And I get that, so I'm not gonna keep beating up on them. But no, I didn't want them to go.

I expressed to my mom this ship. She didn't want them to go either, not even the fact that old I miss you and that I might we may work things out, just because Yo, we got kids here, your life is here, your family's here. You got a sick mom. My grandmother has dementia. Why the funk would you leave? And even if you take her up there, you still gotta work. Which're gonna put her in the home All the way in Boston. It don't make sense. So you're

still making decisions selfishly. You know, you've got more to live for it than just you. It's always been about you all your life, Like no, uh, let it be about family practice, caring about others a little bit more. I talked to his man up until the show day he was coming. So my mom is the one that told me, because he actually expressed in my mom like, I don't feel comfortable coming knowing that your man is gonna be there. I'm not ready to see you with

somebody else. Yet she felt like that was selfish, but she told him, Okay, I respect it. You're gonna have to tell your daughter yourself. That's not something I can tell her for you. You You have to tell her because she thinks you're coming to the show. He told her that he would tell me. He never called me and told me anything. So after the show and everything, that ship hit me the next day, I cried, it's my nigga. Man,

you supposed to be my nigga like you now. Me and my dad went through a rough patch as well after the divorce, but we got back. We're good. We're not like we used to be, and after him missing this ship, I don't think that we ever will and I really would love to, for the life of me be the same. Boo boo to him, like because that's what that's what he calls me, booboo. But I feel so fucking betrayed, Like you're so selfish. You can go around is hurting people any fucking way you want to

any and everybody at your conveniance. But because you ain't ready to see somebody in your eyesight, you ain't ready to see somebody with your now ex wife nigga, who you thought would never leave your ass for all the ship that you've done. Now I gotta suffer for that. I don't care. I don't care. I gotta suffer for that now, right, Huh. It's bad enough you don't come

to no fucking shows? And what do I do? You ask me all the time, support my karaoke thing, my dad's a DJ, or support this, support that, throw this up, tell us that you know posts get me, try to get me more people that more clients and all that. And I do that ship, I do that ship. I do it do I have to know you're my dad,

I'm gonna do it. I want to keep money in your pockets, just like I keep money in my mom's pockets, just like I keep money in other family member's pockets just like I'm paying bills for other people too, And it's just like I gotta pay my own I take care of my son, I take care a lot of people around me, a lot of people that depends on me. And I'm depending on you just to show up. All I want you to do is show up. That's all I want you to do. Now, Listen. While my dad

never asked me for no money. Never, my dad never asked me for ship. Since I've been famous, my dad only asked me for a pair of fucking pumas. I'm gonna give it to him. On that he ever ever come to me with his hand out. He ain't ever. In fact, he hates to see other people use me. That's one thing about him. He never been like that. I remember a time my dad, he was in between jobs and he was really going through it. He couldn't pay bills. My mom was handling everything. You know, she's

a business owner. My mom's an entrepreneur. She has her own preschool. Ben had it for years. So it's something about a man not being able to provide for his family. Man. That man was literally about to kill hisself. He was suicidal in this moment. He just could not make ship shake. But what saves him was the fact that he would be leaving us here. He would be leaving us here to really have to in without him. But I remember my mom telling me that because that's something that he

never would even want his kids to know. That he was about to kill himself. He was contemplating checking the funk up out of here because he couldn't provide for us those moments, those fucking moments. And I thank God that I still have my dad, But do I really got you? It's like, yo, when my mom divorced him, he divorced us. And when I say us, I mean me and my son. My son used to spend so much time with my fucking dad, bro, Like they look alike.

If you are avid guestillaries fans and watchers and listeners and viewers and ship, you know my son looked more like my dad than his dad period. Like that ship is crazy. You know what I'm saying now, I ain't got the most functional family and less and in fact, it's a bunch of dysfunction going on. My biological brother Kevin, who y'all never see we've a beefing or or we are right, we just mutual. We just called you and ship, but that's my man's too. We just never see out

of eye at her. I wish we could, we can't. You know he has an anger streak as ship is just built up for whatever reasons. You know, my mom, my dad, I really really want them to be like how me and my son's dad are. That's gonna take years and years and years if that ever happens. But that ship hurt me to my core. The fact that my dad still didn't even apologize to this fucking day for not coming, for not missing, because he don't really feel like nothing is wrong. He's gonna tell my little sister,

I could just fly out to another show. Nigga, don't come to nothing. Don't come to none of them, and I won't show up to your karaoke ship no more, even though that's my favorite thing to do in the world, is to get on the mic and really act like I can think and y'all know that I can a little bit, but I'll never be at one of them again. That fucked me up as your daughter, you know, somebody

that he was really really close to. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back. And if that ain't bad enough. So my mom is like, all right, after you tell your daughter you ain't coming, let me know because honestly we need somebody to watch Ash because Jerome is coming to the show now, you know,

asked my son? All right, cool? Now? My dad told me that he was gonna start getting him on Sundays because I stressed to him before, like I previously told him, like look that I feel like you give us the short end of the stick because mom, divorce you. It's like you don't see me, you don't see Ash. You don't really give a funk about calling him. But none

of that ship like nothing. My son needs his grandfather seriously, he really only has one active one in his life, and that was you, Like, come on, bro, like where you at? My son always asks about him? Was that he used to ask about them way more when the divorce first went down. But you know, kids be like all right, whatever, you know, No, that's your grandfather. The fun He used to look forward to every Saturday, football with my grandfather, Football with Pop Hop That's what he

looked forward to. He don't see you, you don't call him. None of that ship so what's up. But you'll go out there with Kevin ke and as my brother. You'll go out there with your son and his girls. You'll see his daughters. Yeah, I mean you'll see your grandkids. Yeah, your other grandkids. Why is it because you felt like I took Mommy's side, Because honestly, this ship kind of divided everybody. My brother took his side. I took my mom's side, the side that's, in all fairness, that somebody's

side of getting cheated on. That's what I took. I also did tell my mom you allowed a lot of this ship too. But I'm not gonna beat up on you no more than you already been getting beat up this whole goddad marriage, not physically but mentally emotionally. All that ship is painful, all of that ship, all the neglect and all that. So it kind of separated. It's the drove a wedge between the whole family. All right, cool? But is that why my son gets the short end?

So my Mom's like, all right, well, can you watch Ashton for the show since you ain't coming to the show. He like, oh no, I got a birthday party to DJ. Why do I find out that the birthday party that you dj is your girlfriend's grandson, so it's the kid's party to go out of. My son couldn't come. I couldn't he come. That ship makes no sense. It makes no sense. Ever, it will never make sense to me.

So I sent him a nice long text message. Look, yeah, I didn't even think this ship would bother me, but it does. It was real selfish and real fun up that you only think about yourself and that you really only you know what I'm saying, like you you. I didn't even get a congratulations a call. You texted me the next day. It was like, congratulations on your plague. I said, thanks, kept moving. That ship hurt even worse. You didn't even call me. You ain't called me to

say yo, I'm sorry, I ain't come nothing. You didn't do nothing. So then he called me, but I was around my mom, so I didn't want to sing phony or nothing. I said, I call you when I get home. He was like, all right, cool, I ain't never call him. I didn't, but you think he called me back? Nah? He just started texting me the next day like nothing ever happened. He sent me pictures of him looking nice. I said, I yeah, you look nice, dad. He said,

you look amazing too. Baby said, okay, cool, that's it. That's it. Wayne talks since then. But that's the problem with me in this family, like my family, like me and him, we always do that, like we never talked about ship. I'll send him a message. He'll know he's wrong. He'm gonna say sorry about it. He's gonna keep on going. And when you see me, nothing ever happened. Nah, I don't funk with you for that. That's fucked up to me,

and he will literally act like nothing happened. I'm gonna call my mom like I did, tell how I wasn't going, so you did, and then get you lying. You're lying in line for what I'm thirty years old. I'm thirty now. I'm saying that proudly. That means I'm not a little as kid. You can't just tell me anything no more. You can't just lie on me and ship no more.

You can't. I didn't know because you didn't tell me you wasn't coming, because I would have gladly and proudly expressed how the funk that would have made me feel. When you're saying that ship to me in that moment, and that's why you didn't tell me. But it's all good. Listen. The more of this ship before I get out of here, is to show up for people. Please show up for people the same way you want to be showed up for the same fucking way, because that's how they're gonna

remember you all. That motherfucker had a lot of ship with him. Look that nigga always showed up for me. Jess always was talking about people, whatever, whatever, but that bit showed up for everybody she loved. Look, she might not she may have done this, she may have done that, but she was a loyal motherfucker who always showed up for her people, her family, her close friends, everybody. So make sure you keep that in mind and make sure you check on those people that you're showing up for.

Make sure they're good, you know, even if it's something that you can't do for them, as simple how you doing, you're good, you're feel you're feeling good, or I'm sorry I couldn't make it as saying that you got a plaque. I just wanted to call you and congratulate you. Even if you can't show up. Sometimes make it your business to show why to tell somebody why a fucking congratulations card face to face would have been better than a fucking text message and some bitch ass emojis. Come on, man,

that ship don't mean nothing to me. We're better than that. I'm your daughter, and it don't look like that ship gonna change. It can't change. I can't stop being at y' old. You lost your wife, you didn't lose none of your kids, so you remember that, and it's just like that, y'all. We come to yet the end of another Carefully Reckless episode with your girl Jess. Hilarious tune in every Wednesday seven am. Hump Day also turned into Reckless Discussions. We

got one dropping in about twelve. I was y'all, make sure y'all tune in on YouTube with me and my crazy ass family Reckless Discussions, Love y'all. Piece. Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from My Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.