Healing Saves Lives

high school. I know I said this a couple of times and previous episodes, but just in case you're a new listener, there's a fun fact about me. Now, back in high school, I went to prom with one of my white homeboys. No, we didn't date. He was just my homie. He didn't want to take his girlfriend. I didn't have a boyfriend at the time, so he took me. He was cool. I loved him, and I also loved his mom as well. His mom was very, very close to me. I grew to love her. She loved her kids,

she loved her family. She had a twin sister that she also loved dearly. Now I can tell his mom was off a little bit, you know what I'm saying. And she did have mental issues, but she was always there as a mom for them kids. She was always there as a sister for her twins. She was always there as you know, like a confidant for her children's friends. All of that. She was the cool mom. We hung out at her house and everything like that. She did not let us drink, She didn't let us smoke, weird

en nothing. We just was there to have fun. Now, our twin, on the other hand, was the other type. You know. We could go to her house and smoke. You can go to her house and have bonfires and ship. We can. We can go to our house and and drink with her and all that type of ship. She felt like, if they're gonna do it outside, they might as well do it in here. They're safer high and drunk in here. A lot of parents think like that. My parents, fuck no, whoop my ass every time. But

I went over there to have fun. I was with a lot of white kids. I was one of two black kids amongst twenty white friends. You know. Now, her kids didn't have any issues. She had two boys. No, I'm not gonna say her name, because this was a very tragic situation and I just rather not now if you know, you know, if you went to high school with me, you know who it is. And it was very sad situation. One day, my family had dinner at their house, my parents, they had a dinner and invited

some of my friend's parents from school. You know. Now, the guy I went to prom with his mom came, her twin came as well. Everything was fine. We noticed that my friend's mom was in the bathroom for a long time, so my mom went up and checked on them. She came back and told me everything was fine with her. She just you know, she had to use the bathroom, just getting the mind together. We noticed that she was not right in the head that night. She was going

through a mood. She was having like I would call it one of her mental episodes. She was down. She would get down sometimes and did not know where she had pop out of that ship and be just happy and jolly like always beautiful person inside and out. She just had she had her mental issues though, you know what I'm saying, And that night we could tell something's wrong with it. But by the end of the dinner she was bad good, She was good. The next day

we go to school. We didn't see her kids. Okay, cool, whatever, But her twin sister had children that went to the same school too. We didn't see them either. All right, cool, I ain't hearing nothing that day. Next day, didn't see them in school again. I drove over to my friend's house after school, me and a couple of my other friends. Right now, the house we went to was the more lenient twin, the twin that we could the party house. You know, we can go smoke and drink and ship cool.

We go over there because I didn't remember the other twins address, but I remembered exactly how to get to the party twins house because we party there all the time, almost every day at the school. Now, pull up to the house. It's a lot of cars. Now I recognize these cars. These are other friends that that go to school with us. They had the same idea, let's go over. Our friends ain't been in school, we ain't hurting nothing, we ain't get invited over for party in the last

two days. Let's go. It's like seven or eight cars out there. We walk in. Everybody's quiet. We hear her screen, we hear crying. I go to the bath firm X my homegirl Cad. I'm like, what's wrong, what's wrong? What happened? My homeboys? Mom killed herself, killed herself. She left the note, but she killed herself. She apologized to both of her boys, her twin, and her nieces and nephews. She apologized greatly, deeply,

but she couldn't deal with it. She was running from something, Something was fucking with her, and she could not escape it. She put a bullet in a fucking head in her garage and left a note next to her that should have said, and it still brings me two tears till this day. Because she was mentally ill and nobody gave a funk. Nobody noticed, nobody tried to get her help, nobody, nobody did nothing about that. You understand what I'm saying.

She loved everybody else, always looked out for everybody else, as mentally strained as she was, as mentally draining as it probably was to have to live a facade, have to paint a picture that everything is perfect, but under it is dirty concrete and mold and dirt. And what I'm saying is she was mentally fucked up, and she still found a way to care for everybody, but in return, nobody cared enough to get her help. And it's like

we noticed it. Everybody noticed it, her sister, her her parents, everybody, they noticed it, her kids. Teachers like noticed that, my parents. Everybody noticed that, her kids, but nobody did anything. Nobody did anything. Nobody ever sat down and said, babe, you want to go see this person. You need to see a therapist. Do you want to talk to me? Do you want to open up? Do you what are you feeling right now? Why do you get so down as everything?

Instead we would let her tell us, oh, no, I'm just not feeling well today, But we knew it was something more than that. Sad day, a very very sad day. Her kids were highly affected. They didn't return to school. They finished the rest of the school, yeah, at home school. They were so fucked up by that she put a bullet in her head. She just could not deal with it anymore. That's what she wrote in the note. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then

we'll be right back. So that brings me to carefully reckless discussion. When people are mentally ill and you see it, you gotta say something. You gotta say something. You cannot ignore people. You gotta check up on people. You have to start noticing their patterns and and how fast people change,

and and just different different patterns. You know, because when you hang around somebody, or you're around them, or when you date them, or whatever, your sibling, whoever, where it is who has these issues, if you've been knowing them for a long time, you start to notice certain things about them. If they act one way one moment and that's what you used to and then they totally flipped, you gotta notice that. That's a sign. You cannot ignore signs.

You gotta check up on people. You have to go the extra mile, even if you're getting on the motherfucker's nerves. Know what's wrong, what's going on, what's going on? What's this? Why? Why are you feeling this way? You need to talk to me, sit down and talk. If they run, you chase, they ask you really need to help somebody with mental illness. You don't know how you could possibly save somebody's life by just paying attention to them, taking the initiative to help.

You don't know how you can save a life. You can change somebody's life. I feel like we could have definitely saved that woman, my friend's mom. We could have gotten her help. We as been a isn't everybody? I mean we Because I was a part of the week, I would hang around her. I would be in her house and listen. She was a type of woman. She would come over to our friend's house, the party twin, and she would be like, guys, stop drinking, yo. She

will pull out the liquor. She would tell everybody, now, put those blunts out, put those joints out. No, no, like she was not. She was a great mother, a great mother. She would beef with her twin for letting us party in our house. Their children, they're just fucking children. They're drinking this poison and they they shouldn't be. They should wait until they go to college to do this. Their children. Why are you letting them do whatever they want?

Their their innocent children. She was such a great person. Do you understand? Of course, her and her twin had two different ways of living, raised in the same house. One was just more strict. And she was a very spiritual woman as well. Ain't that crazy? Isn't that amazing? She used to pray for us. Oh my god. No, she wasn't a radical at all, don't get it messed up. But she definitely embodied spirituality as a Christian woman. She definitely prayed, she went to church. She is a good woman.

And even with all of that, she was still mentally ill. She still had her own demons that she was fighting, and we didn't know how to help her fight them, so we just let it be. We would let her lie to us. You cannot do that now, Listen. Most mentally ill people are in denial, so we have to help them. They can't often even think for themselves because

they're not in their right mind. How can you expect someone to want help for themselves if they're not even in the right state of mind to even know just how fucked up they are. A lot of them know that they suffer from mental illness, but they don't know the severity of it because they're not mentally aware all the time. Mental illness can drive you to do crazy

things that can drive you to suicide, drugs, homicide. They may even start killing other people, hurting other people, inflicting pain on people around them because they're not in their right mind. And she can get very sad and out of hand. That's why I don't care what y'all say. I do applaud Kim Kardashians for sticking by Kanye West. We didn't know what that woman went through. We didn't know. People just hate them girls because they're their culture vultures.

So people say, or they you know, they they're taking our black men and the old the Kardashian curse. Na. No, no, no, Kanye was fucked up, a fun him. Okay, he's been fucked up since his mother died, and he's gonna be fucked up until he gets the help that he needs for himself. We can't keep putting ship on the Kardashians. We can't put nothing on Kim. We can't do that. Wake the funk up. She loved him. We saw that she had what how many kids? They got five? Four kids.

I'm sorry if it's just about me being a culture vulture and wanting to get money off this man, or whatever the funk y'all believe she wanted from this man, I'm not gonna lay down and have a child. No, she didn't physically have all four of them, but she had children, four children by this man, and y'all want me to believe y'all want to believe in y'all sick ass minds that she cursed him or she didn't really love him. I'd be saying in the comments, like you know,

I'd be saying all types of crazy ship. Y'all are blaming her, and a lot of people, not y'all, you know, but a lot of y'all blame her for this divorce. No, do you know the strain that was put on their marriage? Could you imagine being with a mentally ill person who doesn't even want help, who constantly embarrasses you and your family and y'all children, and himself online when you have an episode, you go to the internet. Kanye is also a very manipulating person. We have those mentally ill people

as well who are also manipulating. He uses his mental illness a lot to get us to buy his ship, his shoes, his albums, this whatever. Now, I'm a Kanye fan by far, Please don't get it sucked up. But also I know for a fact that he uses his mental illness a lot, and a lot of these people do. But that does not mean that they're not mental ill. They just know how to play it. Trust me, he's

very very ill, or he was. I don't know. We haven't heard anything from him since, But I'm just saying I don't know if he's getting the proper help now. It's really good. If he is Orlando Brown, we have seen first hand his mental illness. Now he has help and now he's doing better than he was. But he had friends that would record him and put the videos online instead of trying to help him. Now, I'm not

saying that they never try to help. I don't know, but the last thing I'm gonna do is know that I have a friend that's mentally ill and record them having an episode of putting it online. It's a difference between raising awareness and then just playing down right exposing somebody. And that's what a lot of people in Orlando's life did. They exposed him the videos that they would record and put out there that would hit the media. Dude, think that helped him to see that ship? No, it didn't.

Mental illness is a very serious thing. You have to make sure you check on people, you help them, and don't do it for the fucking cloud. Don't record it when you do it. Some ship is just better left unposted, unsaid. It's not for everybody to know. Also, we have social media. Social media, it doesn't help with mental illness. It doesn't help mental health at all. We got these trolls, these

people that hide behind these fucking accounts. They are cruel, They say what they want and they and and nine times out attend the motherfucker would never say it to your face. A lot of these trolls online they're even mentally ill as well. So before you clap back out a troll, just think about where they are mentally. That's why y'all don't see me clapping back too often anymore.

You have to take an account. Everybody ain't really right up there, and a lot of people inflict pain and cruel insults on other people because that's where they're feeling. They can't look in the mirror and realize how ugly the inside of them is, so they project that ship on other people. Those people need help as well. You know, I deal with it. I deal with it a lot, but I'm very strong. I got tough skin. Of course, I break down sometimes, not ever from a motherfucker online,

but real life ship gets to me. You know what I'm saying. That's the ship I let break me down, not a motherfucker sitting behind a fake page. People want to see people fall more than anything. These days. Negativity fuels evil. You would rather hear something negative about a person then to complement a positive. A lot of younger kids, a lot of teenagers, suffer from mental illness that stems

from society rules, social media, society rules. Kids have committed suicide trying to live up to these views and and societal rules. A lot of teenagers are damaged by this ship. The Internet is a very evil fucking place. It's a gift and a curse. I say all the time for people like me. It's a gift for people like me, it's a curse as well. You know what I'm saying. I make my money online. I'm an influencer. You know, I'm a public figure. Growing up, all everybody want to

do is be famous. Being famous was like a goal in African American dream. Everybody wants to be famous. Until now. Being famous ain't so fun, especially not now, like social media influences so much. The influence is so strong. The Internet controls a lot of people's minds. That leads to mental illness as well. I don't know if y'all listening can understand what I'm getting at and where I'm going a lot of social trends, a lot of people let

it depict their life. You let the internet dictate your life. Just speaking in general about people that I've seen it has affected firsthand. You have to help people. You know how they say, hurt people, hurt people, helped people, help people. You know, if I help you over here with your mental illness, you can help somebody else with theirs, and then that person can help somebody else. Help people, help people.

You understand what I'm saying. It may sound crazy, but I know what I'm getting at, and so do y'all. Now we got a commercial, and if you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat your ass. Listen. That brings me to just fix my mess. Now, as y'all know, I go online hashtag carefully reckless, and I ask your personal experiences with these topics that I talked about on Carefully Reckless, and I said, hey, guys, how has mental health affected you or someone close to you

in an unhealthy way? Have you ignored signs and now regret it. I'm gonna read off a few Now, I'm going to leave all of these people anonymous. I'm not going to disclose anybody's names, even though they asked me to. I'm still not one, beautiful lady said, I believe that my sister has bipolar and she refuses to get diagnosed. So she had a real low day recently and messed with me until I smacked her in the face and she couldn't take it, so we all got kicked out

of our house. She cares about her money, but she does not care about her mental and I hope it just doesn't make her crash and burn. She's completely ignoring because of her status. She doesn't want to be thought of as someone that has mental illness, but she's clearly sick now. Listen, that brings back the denial factor. Nobody wants to suffer mentally. Nobody does so a lot of people try to sweep it under the rug. But a lot of things you can't control mentally. You can't control

your illness. You can't. If you don't get any help, you can't control it. So I do totally understand, but you still gotta try. You smacked her in the face, you may have to smack a few more times before she realized that she has to get diagnosed, and she has to be helped. Go after her, baby, Go after her. That's your sister. You can ave her life. It's not easy dealing with people who are mentally ill. No, it's not.

But how do you think they feel? We still have to suit up and boot up and get it together for them. I'm gonna read another one, Jess. My mental illness has caused me to lose a very special female. There we go, look at Kanye. I don't know who filed the voice. I'm not sure. At first they said Kanye did, then it came out that that Kim did. It can cause you to lose people in your life. It can cause you to lose your children. It can cause you to lose yourself. Get help, baby, Get help.

You know. The first step is knowing, coming to terms with it. Okay, I'm mentally ill. At least you know you confessed. You already told me, you admitted to knowing that you're mentally ill. Now go get help so you can go get that female back if you can. I'm gonna read another one. Yes, Jess, it has you being busy when your body is tired, exactly, And I think that's what happened to my friend's mom. She was so tired, her body was tired. She couldn't deal with it, so

she killed herself. That's what we don't want a Marie one more. Ignoring my mental health resulted in me blowing the dope, smoking heavy. I did it to feel more calm and at peace, not realizing I was depressed. Now, when I go through challenges, I try to be sober so I can actually push through and not bandage it. That's very, very, very sad, but it's very common and mental illness people turn to drugs. I said it at the beginning of the episode. People turned to two bad habits.

People even hear voices, they try to get them out. Mental illness has different levels. We need to help these people conquer these battles before it gets to the worst level. I need you to get help, baby. I don't want to say your name, but I need you to get help. This person just admitted that they they started a drug habit. They was smoking dope just to escape, but not realizing when you come down off that high, you back where

you was. You gotta get the help. Now. All the people that wrote me, they never said anything about help. I've read a lot and I've set with this overnight. It's sad how many people deal with this in our country. And I'm right up under our nose. You don't know how you can save a life by helping somebody. Just help, Just check on people. Pay more attention two your spouses, your kids, your children, your parents, your family members, your friends,

your boss, your co workers. Pay attention to people. Pay more attention. A lot of people may call it nosy or my my business. Nah, it's a difference between paying attention and being nosy. Sometimes you gotta be fucking nosy to get to the bottom of a situation to help somebody, because they nobody going to offer up that they're mentally ill. You gotta figure it out. So please, let's just come together as a people and pay more attention and help people.

And on that note, I'm going to end this episode of Carefully Reckless. I hope this has helped someone. I hope this has touched someone. If you feel like you need someone to just listen to you, d m me. No, I can't give you my number. I love you, but I can't give you my number. But I will send voice notes all day to you. And if you know me and you're one of my fans. You know, I send voice notes to fans all the time. And just like that, I concluded, and I love y'all because y'all

love me. And next week I'll be back with another episode of Carefully Reckless and then my deepest Pam voice yet sexy and be like, just you got your ass, nigga, shut the fuck up. I've been, I'm hit on my cash told us i've been. I don't know what get like snuffing. Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from my heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.