Girl, Don't Embarrass Baltimore

you've helped me. Oh my god, I did sit down and have a conversation. Oh my god, things are so much better now. I only had a few people tell me that their situation is still the same, but that's because they really, really really are in love and they just want to see it through. And some people want to see it through. And sometimes people have to go through with their journey to see what wasn't good for them. Sometimes it's not even what somebody else telling you what

you can do is the answer. No no, no no no. Sometimes you just have to go through things for yourself. But I love the people that I am able to help. I love hearing that feedback that I was able to help you guys, and I love hearing the other feedback too that I wasn't able to help. That just means you need some professional help. Okay, some licensed professional help, because I think I'm pretty professional. What y'all think, let

me know, So we're gonna jump right in. This is a long story, mind you, but it is a good one. This woman submitted voice notes, and I mean her situation is just, oh my god, up and down crazy. It's like a ball of confusion that just unravels before our ears. So listen and listen carefully because it's rather long. So this may be the only one I get to cover today, but trust me, this one story is worth it. All right. Hey, j I'm gon trying to keep destroying short, but I

definitely need you to fix my mess. Okay, So a little back story. I moved to Charlotte five years ago from Baltimore, and I met a maybe a year after I moved here, and we have been good up until ten months ago and all went left out of really out of nowhere. You know, when they say you don't have to go looking for stuff, it just falls in your lap sometimes, So that's what happened. So we were inconsistent, so it was off and on. But we care for each other. We love each other. He never went a

day without telling me how much he loved me. But we never made it an official official but that definitely was an understanding. We definitely had a situation ship, We talked about having kids, all of that. It just we was never consistent. Yes, I talked to other people on the side, but he was my main person. We're both in our late thirties. He wanted more, but in the back of my head, I always felt like there was something he was not always been up from me about.

He's been married before, so he used to say that he's not rushing into anything, but he knew he wanted to get married again, but he wanted to get on everything, like a house and all of that stuff first before he settled down again. He would like to say, because his ex wife basically she took everything and he was like living in the car and all of that stuff, so he wanted to have his own before he settled

down again. Okay, whatever, I hear you, But he always made me feel like I was that one like when those things happened, because he always kept me in a loop, was buying a house, all of that. So he made me feel like I was that one. But again I always felt something still wasn't right. So let's get to this real story why I need you to fix my mask. So one night ten months ago, I went over his house, and when I got there, I just kept saying some lame right, and I would just keep asking them, like

what you do different in here? I always used to tell him. For him to be a single guy living on his own, his house definitely didn't just look like a bachelor's bad look like my body had decorated his house. He had a woman's touch, I would say. But he used to always tell me I was tripping anyway. When I would stay with him, I would spending night. He would get up and go to work, leave me there. I would get up whenever I was ready to get head out to go to work or whatever to go

back home. He always left me in his house without any problem. So this one particular night, and it maybe been like eleven o'clock or so, man, he made a call me like, yeah, I gotta get up early in the morning, around three o'clock to be the work by

whatever time. And I'm like, okay, but he made the comment to make it seem like he wanted me to leave, because he said something like, now I want you to have to get up at three in the morning, And I'm saying to myself, any other time you have to get up or whatever time you left me here, and I would just see myself out. But you know, I was like, I'm not even gonna question it because I'm never gonna bag somebody for me to stay. I got my own place. I take my ass home. So that's

what I did. But it bothered me so much. The next day, I'm at work, but I'm thinking about it, and so I said something to him. I'm like, what's the difference why all of us are now I need to go home instead of just staying the night, even if you got to get up early, And he like, no, baby, you know I love you. I didn't want you to get up and leave them. You know I don't like for you to go home in the middle of the night. You could have stayed. You should have just said something,

I would have rather you stayed. And I'm like, that's bullshit, because if you would have rather me stay, you wouldn't even had commented that you had to get up at three o'clock in the morning. You don't want me to have to get up, or you could have been like, yeah, I gotta get up at three in the morning, but of course see your way out whenever you get ready. Um, he's like, wow, that's why we need to communicate. I tell you all the time, speak up if you feel

some type of way to speak up. I went a kid, you could have stayed. You already know you could have stayed. So he does this thing where if I bring something to his attention, if I say something, he likes to switch it up and then play victim or act like I'm tripping like he likes to fuss and talk over me. So he finds a way to switch up the story like he always does, and talk about the house and how he gonna be ready to settle down and move

me in. Like he does that, he will switch up the story and did try to start saying stuff he thinks I want to hear, but that ship was still on my mind, so I didn't let it go. So for some reason, something told me to go to his Instagram. Now every time he posts something, he has like hundreds of comments under everything he posted majority of my females and it's like with a bunch of heart emojis and stuff which I don't I don't care. I told him he got his little fans. Whatever. But I clicked on

this one particular page. So what drew me to this one particular page was the person does nails Now. He's always, like, really been into females having their nails and stuff done, to the point where he would tell me was shape to get and when I say shapes, he would say coughing stiletto. He would say, um it like he knew stuff that most men don't know about nails. And I asked him one time, like why do you know so much about nails? And he'd be like, don't forget. I

was married at one time. I did pay for my wife to get her nails and stuff done. And I'm like, even if you did pay for your wife to get her nails and you're just giving her the money, you don't really know most men don't know certain terminology for nails. And I'm like, whatever, So I click on this girl's page. It's our business page, and majority of our page is her showing off her work. So I'm scrolling down, scrolling down, and I come across a video she post of him.

It's a birthday video, and the birthday video basically she says on their like heppy birthday to my day one or something like that. It's real generic like so it doesn't say what they are to each other. But I held that as evidence, so I screenshot that. So then I'm scrolling some more, and then I come across another video of an exact same video he posted on his

page when he got his corn dog. It's like the key to saying like welcome home, home, sweet home, and under her post it basically was saying how she just got a new house or whatever, new condole and she was moving. And I'm like, it's mind boggling, because mindrew the condo. I've been there. I spent the night there several times, like I was always there. But remember I said to you how I always felt like his condo

looked like it had a woman's touch. But that same furniture that he moved into the condo, he had his town home when I first met him, mandrew, I used to stay at the town home too, So I'm just confused. So our screenshot at that as well. I'm like, I'm gonna just keep holding all the stuff. So I came up with this whole story, like, you know, I'm looking for a new person to do my nails because he knew I was like fed up with going to the nail salons here, so I was trying to find for

real and real life. I really was trying to find like a black person to support. So I went to him. I was like, yeah, I was recommended to this girl, and I realized, y'all know each other, so let me ask you about it. You know, you think I should get my nails done by her. I was trying to see if he was going to persuade me to go or not to go to her. So he did exactly what I thought he was gonna do. He talked man Ship basically like nah, you know, I went and go

to her. She wrote, inconsistent. She liked to cancel on people like Ship talked to her, and I'm like, okay, I got there in the back of my head too, because I knew that's what he was going to do. More and more this situation just not sitting right with me. So after that, I started doing a little bit more research I found her TikTok, and I find that she is pregnant. She has a sonogram video up of her in the doctor's office. And I told you him and

I talked about having kids. All right, Let's just say he told me he wanted to name his next daughter Tanya. Tanya. Yeah, let's say he said he wanted to name his daughter Tanya if he had a child. And so I go on her Instagram page and I see she says, Tanya, my man, daddy cannot wait to meet you. We love you. We're just gonna say Tanya. But just know the name that he really wanted. It's not a name that most people would name that child like. It's a unique name.

Let's say it was like West Okay on blue Out. It was a name like that, and that everybody is not going to say they want to leave that child. So that's what she puts on the post. And as sure as I saw my heart drop because I'm like, what, this girl is pregnant and she never said his name her name, but I knew by the child's name. Still don't say nothing to him, though, I still don't say nothing to him. I asked him, I say, is there anything you need to share with me anything you need

to tell me. He's like, no, Baby, you know, I don't got nothing to tell you. I don't have to hide nothing from you. If I had something to tell you know, I would tell you I love you and all of that talking, all that stuff, switch up the conversation again. I'm just like, I'm holding to this stuff. So one night I'm searching, you know, I'm looking up baby registries. At this point, I did Walmart, Amazon, Target, Burlton, I did all of that ship I couldn't find nothing.

Like all right, I'm still not gonna give up. I know I'm not going crazy. This nigga got this girl pregnant. I'm not stupid. So one random night, in the middle of night, I can't sleep, I googled. This time, instead of going directly to the websites, I google baby registrates and the first thing that pop up was bye bye baby.

And I go straight to the registrate and I type her name man, I type his name man, boom, We'll come up her picture, his name saying the baby was to do the next mouth okay, and I screenshot at it and I just saw read From there. It was like two o'clock in the morning, so I screenshot it. I sent him everything that I had been screenshot and from when I first got that feeling that he was lying to me about something. Sent everything to him in the middle of the night and I was like, I

know you was lying. It just didn't sit right with me. Told him everything how I felt that morning. Once he gets up and see it, he calls me and he's on a thousand, like right enough, cutting me out, and he tells me this bullshit is story that he had to go to court for child support for his other child with his ex, so he paid this girl, however much money to put up a fake registry to make it look like he was the father so that he didn't have to pay more money and child support to

his ex wife. And I lost it, and I'm like, you must think I'm stupid, like I was born yesterday, Like the audacity for you to even think that I would believe this story. I was so pissed off. I hung up and that was it for ten months. We didn't talk up until the other day. Hold up, Hold up, I know the ship getting good, but listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me. You'll listen now. Within those ten months, I tried to

reach out. He never blocked me. I never blocked him on social media or on my phone, never blocked him because I knew it wasn't over. I have a thing when even when somebody hurts me, if I really care about them, I end up going back to them, even though I'm the one being hurt, trying to fix it or trying to make it right. So I've reached out to him several times. He straight left me on red ignored me each and every time until last Thursday that just passed. I missed him these last ten months. I

missed him and I really do care for him. So when he came to see me, I knew it probably wasn't gonna be a long visit. Because again, since we've been talking, I noticed he only talked to me when he's out the house. As soon as he gets home, I don't hear from him. So that's something new now all of a sudden, was he gets home, I don't hear from him. Like Saturday, he called me. He was outside, it was like seven in the morning. He was already

gone out of the house. And I'm the first person he calls when he gets outside, So I'm noticing all of this. I'm noticing all of this in these last couple of days. I say, I'm not going to bring it up while he's here. I'm just going to chill enjoy his company right now. He's here for maybe words, So he leaves and then my mind go to ruling. So I touched him, like, it's just seeing you. It's been too long, like I know why you had to leave. I know you had to get back home to your family.

Because he kept saying certain things when he was here, like he wanted to tell me, but he wanted me to bring it up. And I was just like, I'm not bringing it up right now. I don't want to hear the lies because I knew he wasn't gonna tell me. But he kept saying certain things like he wants to tell me, but he don't know how I'm going to react,

or he's just not ready. But he was making certain comments, saying stuff about babies or what I've been doing the last ten months, who's been with me the last ten months, when I've been doing, who's been at my house and all of that stuff, And I was I was throwing them same questions back at him, and I'm like, I'm sure there's been somebody consistent in your life in the last ten months. And he's like, oh, that's what you

that's what you believe. And I'm like, I know for sure, and he's like, oh, how you know what makes you think you know? Like he was saying something started saying's random stuff about babies, and I'm like, just go in and tell me. So when he leaves, I sent a message, and then that message again, I'm just like thanking him for coming. And then I said to him, I know that baby is yours, and when you really ready that

had that conversation, let's have it. I said. I think it will make whatever this is a little bit better. We need to have an understand it, I said, because I'm not even gonna lie. It's stung at first when I found out, but everything happens for a reason. I'm okay with it now, but that still does not deny the love that I have for you. But I would just respect you more if you just came out and told me. So, That's what my text master said to him. I was like, I'm still love you at the end

of the day. Now, does that mean our relationship is gonna stay the same? No, because I can't say when I hear yes, that is my baby, how I'm gonna feel. I know how I want to feel. I know how I want to just move on, but I don't know. I know already I know the answer, but I need him to tell me. So he calls me after I sent a text in message and it's like he's on the thousand again. So you want me to call you, or you want me to read this message while I'm driving.

I can't read this message while I'm driving and I'm high. And then like he come off real crazy, and I'm like, why what did you talking about? Like what's what you're trying to say in this message? If man, if you want to ruin my sunday, you could have just said all that what I need to come over your house for?

I need to come over there. If you had something to say, you should have said it while I was dead, or you know, you should have said it on Friday when we had this conversation, when we was talking about it. Now you're gonna ruined my sunday. You want to rule like Cole, And I'm just like I'm sorry, why are you yawlling? Why you find said nothing? My message was negative?

I ain't read it. You're talking about I got a family at home, And I'm like, what you mean if you didn't read the message, you would have known that I said that in a message. He like, no, you said, and when I was there too, Now, why would I have somebody at home know me? And I'm here, I'm like, just like any other cheating nigga. What you mean, like,

cut that ship out? So he like, we should have been had this conversation that I said, Well, you kept saying more conversation need to be had, I say, and you kept hitting around and stuff, but you just didn't want to come out and tell me. I said, I just wanted you to know. And I'm calm still, I'm so calm talking to him. I'm like, I just wanted you to know, Like I know that baby is yours.

I've seen the picture she posted, Like the baby got the same initials as you first in the middle, and let's name it's all you, same initials and it's the same exact name that you told me you wanted to name our child. So cut it out. He like, man, that's what you wanna go with, that's what you wanta go with. I'm like, that's what I know. I got my answer. I got what I needed because the way you're responded to me right now is telling me everything

I need to know. Because if it wasn't your child, you'll be like, for real, bag, like that's not my child, like for real. But every time he goes in this defense mode and just start talking over me and fussing and making it like, um, the problem, and I'm just like, at this point, I don't know what to do, Like I know what to do, I know what I need to do, and he like, if you want to move on, just move on, just say that if you need closure, just something you need closure. You keep coming at me

with this bull crap, just something you need closure. I'm like, what I need is the truth. But I have the truth. I don't need the truth. I just want him to really come out and say it, but he's not gonna do that. I don't think God's understand Sometimes if you just tell the truth, you don't know what us women are willing to accept. Tell me what it really is, so I know what to expect from you, and I know what to put out because I can give out

the same energy. But if I still want you in my life for whatever reason, I can do that as well. So give me the option to figure out what I want to do what you don't make that decision for me by lying. The trust is already gone. It's gone, But for some reason, I still want him in my space, even though I know the nigga is lying and had a baby on me. Now. I don't even know how long he was knowing this girl, but I know he talked about he wasn't had a child with me, and

then this girl ends up pregnant. Just help me, Joss stinks girl. First of all, that was long and ship, all right, and you made me mad so many goddamned times that I had to write notes. I had to write notes while I was listening to your story. First of all, you from Baltimore, that's what you're doing. What the fund is you doing just for me? To you and me? And you got the same name, and I ain't talking about my first name. Me and you got

the same name. Bitch. What the funk is you doing going down there taking that ship from a Charlotte nigga? You could have stayed home and took that ship from one of these niggas. The fuck you pissing me off for real because you're too old for the ship. Now I'm gonna be professional, all right. So after listening to everything, baby girl, all right, let's go to the beginning. Your first instinct when you walked in that damn condo, you've

seen the woman's touch. You pointed that out specifically. You've seen it, so you already know what it was. Because most of the time when we feel something in our stomach, we feel something and we know it's called woman in the wish and you know that we're right most of the time. I'm not gonna say women are always right, but very seldom are we not. You are right in

your mind. You seem to have a lot of sense, but you ignore that ship a lot you ever heard of, like mind over matter, You need to do mind over heart. Sometimes that's what us women need to realize. We need to do mind over heart. You love with your heart. You think what your mind, but you need both. But you need your mind more than your motherfucking heart because your heart gonna have you somewhere. Girl going crazy? All

ain't now? Bringing it back to that one particular night when he told you that three o'clock in the morning bullshit, and you got up and left, and you waited till the next day to say something. Now, he was right about one thing. Communicate. Communicate. He ain't ship, all right, But he was not lying about that. Communicate because honestly, if you would have said that ship when he told you, I don't want you to have to get up three o'clock in the morning, you should have said that ship

right there. Well, I never had to get up three o'clock in the morning. You always leave me. And what's the problem now? Do you want me to leave or what are you expecting somebody else or you know whatever. Regardless of his fucking response, as long as this is with a swan one, you ain't shipped. You can get mad in my face all day, huff and puff, blow

this motherfucking house down there. But I'm asking you a question, why would you say this to me when you let me let myself off any other time you'ven't left me in your house. You said you've been to the condo, you've been to the townhouse, and all of that. You were supposed to say something right then and there. But you're leaving time for it to summer. You're saying something the next day. Gave him a chance to fucking to you.

He lied to He was able to lie because he could have said anything at that point, because the moment is now past, it's over, and he did what is exactly what he was supposed to do. Oh no, baby, why do you say nothing? Then? I you know, I would never want you to leave you. You know, the the the that's moving ship over for you. Communicate in real time, you know. That's what I'm learning in my relationship now. I have to communicate things in real time.

You don't let a person make you mad and then you wait days and days or even hours and hours. Just say something, Say something right then and there. Now, not about every little thing, but you have to communicate in real time. You can't just let ship go on because niggas can't read minds. Men cannot read your mind, all right, We can read there's a lot more than they can read outs. And honestly, men don't want to read our minds because they have the time. They already

can kind of feel what we're thinking. And they scared of that ship, that confrontation. So communicate Now you said he likes to flip the script. He likes to cut you off when you talk. You lex to yell over you and play the victim and make you feel bad, and then you end up feeling bad and all of that ship. Girl, that's manipulative. That's narcissism. You're dealing with

the manipulative narcissist here, grade A. Now, you're smart. You seem to have some nice investigation skills talking about the evidence that you see from the girl's page and you figured out she was a nail tech. That's good. You're

snooping game is a one, all right. But I knew before you finished that ship, because I'd have been fixing mess for months now that that damn condo it's either hers or theirs, it ain't just his, And you were there probably when I asked, and his ass wasn't getting along because just like y'all been on and off, they've probably been on and off too, but just much longer. He seems to notice Gary Pipe and fucking with that girl since he had his wife. Right after he had

his wife tombody, he was living in his fucking call. Okay, Tyler Paris, the fuck get up on your motherfucking own two feet. So it seems like he still likes for woman to take care of him because he's still he living with the nailzech bitch. I'm sorry his baby mother slash girlfriend probably soon to be another fucking wife because she's taking care of him that fucking townhouse he had

you sitting up and probably wasn't he is either. We have to realize patterns and act accordingly, not keep going on and on with it, girl, keep playing along and ship because if you asked me, you waited too damn long to say anything to him. You call yourself building a case like he was gonna give a fuck. Girl, he didn't give a fuck. After you found out that he was dealing with the nail teck. You even made

it your business. You put so much energy and to investigating when you already knew what the hell was going on. You even asked them, showed him his own girlfriend because that's what the funk she was, and ask oh, should I go to her to get my nails? And you're playing games with your damn self. You already knew what he was gonna dude, and of course he was gonna say, oh no, she she has problems and na, na, she don't do good and and she do no call, no shows,

and she's not the most professional. He wanted to keep y'all apart as long as he could, not even to save your feelings, but to save hers, because he got way more to lose with her than with you. Because you ain't going no damn were. That's your problem. Still after I try to fix your mess, you still ain't gonna go no damn were. That's my problem with you. And the way you talk about Oh, we've been on and off, on and off, it's no real foundation. It

was never any real foundation or any loyalty there. It was never any of that. So how did you expect for this man to have kids with you, to marry you? You You know, listen, I'm gonna tell you something. Money. I know you didn't hurt your mom or your grandmother or some older woman in your life. Tell you, these men will tell you what the fuck you want to hear to get what they want. I've been hearing that

ship since I was eight years old. My aunt's telling my cousins, my mother telling my aunt's, you know, my grandmother telling my mother, Like seriously, it's true. So when

you finally bring this ship up to him. You sent them all the screenshots from all your investigation, you gathered all your evidence, and you show him and he calls you or intend made up a whole motherfucking lie about how it's ex wife was gonna use something with alimony or something, so he had to pay this nail tech girl to put up a fake registry for a real fucking baby. So now you have a man lying on his unborn child. So he really don't give a fuck.

He really is socio for real. And if you don't know what socio is, that's the person with no motherfucking feelings. They just lie. They just do ship and don't fail. Anything going around hurt people, and they don't feel ship. That's why when you hung up that damn phone after telling him you knew that the baby was his and you found out hen with the nail tech and all of that ship, he didn't call your ass back. A matter of fact, he didn't talk to your ass for

ten months and you came back to him. You're bothering him. You're the damn problem. You in your own way, you're too good for this ship. What you're doing, you don't know you're damn worth. What is wrong with you? You said he ignored you over that course of ten months. He ignored you. Over those ten months, you kept reaching out, reaching out for what what do you want? I would feel the same way if I was him, What do you want? Cats out the bead. He don't need a

lie to you. I don't know why the hell you ever even tried to lie to you. He don't need to. Obviously you're staying You're gonna be fine with the truth or damn lie. So he just lying for fun because you ain't going nowhere. In fact, you're begging him for time, and you know he got a family. So now you're in the wrong because just because you will accept that ship does not mean somebody else will. You're putting itself

through this ship. You never gave that man no real consequences, so you gave him a lot of power over you. And then to hear you say that you told him ten months later after he came to see you, you didn't want to say nothing because you just want to enjoy the time. How the hell can you enjoy anything with him like? This is just unrelatable and this is just disgusting. This is crazy, tell of all you want is the truth. You know the truth. Why do you

need confirmation from him? Why? And listen? You think that little ten months was a break, you tried to move on. You think you try to move on. You never did, because you said it yourself. You never blocked him on social media. You ever deleted his number? You never did. He never blocked you. He didn't need to. It didn't matter. You don't care. He don't give a fuck because you're gonna be there no matter what. And that's not good, Hay, this hand walking all over you and ship and you're

begging him to be back with you. He had a fucking baby on you line, having you and everybody else house but his own because he don't have none. Now we got a baby, and you just need for him to say his his girl. Get your fucking life together. Seriously, don't even check back in with me because you're still gonna be there. You're a damn fool. I'm sorry, Bible say, don't call people fools. You're a damn nut. And just like that, we're gonna end this episode. That ship pissed

me off. This girl from fucking Baltimore. You crazy, It's over. Girl. Tune in each and every wednesday' all, I'm gonna get the hell up out of here. Oh my god, this ship got me so pissed off. Tune and also to Reckless Discussions tonight. And she did have made me mad this morning. And you're gonna see on this episode of Reckless Discussions, London gonna make my ass mad tonight. I'm tired of these women, y'all. Y'all tune in every Wednesday to everything I got going on and then my deepest

band boys, peace ship. Yeah h. Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.