Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and the Black Effects.
Oh shit, we back on the air.
Welcome back to you got another carefully reckless episode with your girl Jess Hellovery. Yes, listen when I say, oh shit, we on the air. You know who I remind myself of? Nick Cannon.
Y'all?
Remember that shit.
Every time a while in our episode is about to come on, he'd be like, oh shit, we on the air. Hey, y'all, that reminds me of Nick every time I do that.
I just said it one day and was like, Nick can he used to do that shit?
But yeah, shout out the big Nick, knock the little one. We're gonna jump straight and y'all, I had taken a week off.
It was a lot going on, y'all.
It was a lot going on, a lot of big opportunities, a lot of great opportunities. Congratulations to myself and other writers and actresses as well.
The writers strike is over. We still got some things to wait.
For because the actors are not completely off the hook yet. But congratulations to all the writers, including myself, my brother DESI, a lot of writers that I do know. Because the strike is over and y'ah. That is a really really big thing. It's a really serious thing. I think you.
Everybody who knows how serious it is.
These writers and these people you know in the industry who feel like they're underpaid and they don't get paid for their work. You know, they don't get paid enough, and some of them don't get paid shit.
You know, all these great films.
That you guys love and you guys watch, and all these great shows and stuff like that.
It's a lot of great writers.
Behind these films, these projects that are not getting paid you know, what they're worth, you know. So that's what the writer strike is about, amongst other things, but that is mainly what it's about. Now they trying to introduce the AI and shit, which is scary as fuck because that means no human being will be able to have a job when it comes to that type of shit, because they have.
Computers, you know what I'm saying.
So that's why I pray every single day against everything that's trying to you know, just kill off humanity and just stop us from living and stop us from you know, working and everything that we need to do, you know, to provide for our families and shit like that. So let's jump straight in. It's just a little, a little gem I wanted to drop in y'all. Ear, here we go. Oh, y'all, we got voice notes. Y'all know I'm hyper shit. Voice notes, voice notes, y'all listen.
Jee o MG, just listen. Uh Okay, So let me start this off. I don't have an update about my situation other than I did take your advice regarding the communication piece that has all been worked out, no longer an issue. So that's not what this is about. Girl. What I want to talk to you about today, oh lord, is I actually feel like I need to check you just a little bit. And let me explain what I
mean by that. So I was just listening to your Bye Bye Baby episode, and I have a few things that I want to say to you that I think you need to know, because as awesome as most of the advice that you give is, you miss the mark on this one.
Shatty, Well what you got to say, baby?
Yeah, you totally missed the mark on this one. And let me explain to you why. So I have experience in the arena that the young lady that sent you the message was as far as her being bisexual, and being married. Now, to my knowledge, you are none of those things. So I feel like the advice you gave was kind of one sided because you don't understand the full dynamic. So this young lady, from what I heard, you know, married or has been married a man, but
still had cravens for females that he was not. You know, he can't meet he's not a woman. So she wanted to have the threesomes you know, once every other month was not enough. I agree with you in the effect that that's a little greedy. I mean, you know, to each their own. You know, I'm saying, I'll never shame somebody for their sexual preference or desires or sex drive or whatever they got going on. Never will I do that. But just for myself personally, like i've I've always known
that I was bisexual since a kid. I actually was attracted to females before males, And so now I myself personally, of course, I am always going to be attracted to females. That's just who I am. So what we let me explain what bisexual means. It simply means I am equally attracted to men and women. I can fall in love with each I can have sex with each I don't see any difference there. I love people period, so because types that you are always craving one or the other.
Like as you know from my previous story. I've been with my husband now for eleven years. I'm still attracted to females. I still see a fat ass and look at it. We look at them together. You know what I'm saying. That still attracts me, That still turns me on. But I don't have the desire or the yearning. I guess you can say are an unsatiable appetite for women. I am more than satisfied, you know, with my husband, and our sex life is very active.
Girl, you better get to it because it don't sound like you're saying much of anything different than what the fuck I say is, so you better get to it.
Cool. I don't have no issues there, but that doesn't take away the fact that I am attracted to and will always be attracted to women, because that's just who I am. Bisex the same way that, even though I'm married, I still find other men attractive. You know what I'm saying. They still look good to me. If I see a
nice chest, so I might feel a little tingle. So the difference here is when you're in a committed relationship, married or otherwise, no matter who you're attracted to and who you have cravens for, you make that decision to stay committed to the person you are with, regardless to if you are having feelings for the opposite sex and feeling like your knees are not being met, or whatever the case may be, you still need to make that
decision to be faithful. So in this young lady's case, it sounds like to me that you know she you know, the man just wasn't enough of her, and that's her truth. And she explained that, you know, to her husband. And what really appalled me about your response to her is you place all of the blame on her for introducing the other woman into the situation and not holding him not one bit of accountable for the fact that one here's his first mistake, thinking that he could be everything
to her. That sounds real egotistical and chauvinistic for one, because no matter how good you are in the bed, you cannot change somebody's makeup. Being bisexual is not a choice. That's not something you just choose one day that's who you are. As simple as that, it is who you are. You can't explain it. I can't explain why I'm attracted to women, why they turn me on. I just know that I am the same way. I can't explain why I'm attracted to men. I just know that I am.
Listen, Listen, listen.
So I'm gonna correct you right there, and mind you. I'm not checking you, and I need you to know you ain't checking me either. You're just trying to educate me on something you think I don't know about. So that's not checking somebody. That's just you having a different opinion and then also attempting to educate me on something. So I think you need to go back and listen to by bye baby, miss ma'am. Because I did not place all of the blame on her. I said that.
In fact, I said he was wrong for even thinking that he could be everything that she needed if she went into the relationship slash marriage telling him all the facts about her sexuality preference. She's bisexual, She's been bisexual, and you can't also choose that. I know bisexual people that has chosen to be bisexual. They have chosen that Okay, you may feel that you were born that way, that's you.
Everybody don't feel that way. Some people have the right to choose, and some people do choose to be bisexual because that's what they want to be after a while. Yea, all people aren't born that way. I don't believe, just like I don't believe all people are born gay. And the reason why I say that is because I know gay people and bisexual people who became that way. I know both who became that way. Some people I know were born that way they feel they were born that way,
and some people, boo, became that way. So yeah, you can speak for yourself, ma'am, and you can't help me fix nobody else.
Mess. How you gonna come to me to fit?
Girl?
All right, let's finish, let's finish, let's finished.
Hold up, Hold up, I know this shit getting good, But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial.
If you love me, you'll listen.
You know, nothing happened in childhood that turned me that way. That's no uh, you know, the trauma or anything that's you, nothing of that sort. That's just how I always have been, right, that is how she always will be. So it was the husband's fault first and foremost, thinking that his dick gang so good that he was gone fuck her out of being by That's just unrealistic and immature to think that way.
But I'm saying, how do you know that's all he was thinking.
This ain't no lord that this wasn't just his like a fling you're talking about. He thought he had like the most amazing dick that could change.
Nah.
This is his wife, ma'am. This this is somebody that he want to marry. So I think it was more about dick, more about him just having this awesome piece of pole, you know what I mean. Like it could have been I'm gona love her this way, or the way I look at her, or the way I hold her to a high standard, or it could have been everything else, including dick. But I don't think he was just thinking that he could just fuck her out of
being bisexual. I don't think that, or he wouldn't have went so far to marry her if it was just all about his dick.
But continue, you cannot change someone's orientation. There have been enough studies about that to prove, like the little gender reassignment stuff not reassignment. But the little therapies that you know, psych words and stuff used to do to try to conversion therapy and all that, it doesn't work. You can't change who you are attracted to, simply cannot. So that that's the first mistake. That was his mistake there. So then so Shorty, you know, gets the green light. You know,
the threesome situation. You know what I'm saying, they're having their threesomes, you know, And I completely I do agree with you, you know, on the fact that you know, she introduced this and maybe she should have just when he said no, just let that be that, and she kind of pushed it. So I agree with you there.
But this is, this is the thing. She was open and honest with him about how she was feeling and wanted to find a remedy to where she could you know, get her satisfaction that she needed with him being included. She could have went and cheated, She could have had a homegirl that she was fucking on the side when they go out for you know what I'm saying, Like, she could have done it the other way and he
would have been none the wiser, but she didn't. She honored her vows and was honest with her husband about what she wanted and what she needed, and he eventually gave in. He is the one who took it a step further, stepped outside of their union and decided to continue with this female outside of her. That was dishonored.
Yeah, it was dishonest.
But when you get into all of this I need someone else type of bullshit, then this is what happens, ma'am. This is what happens, whether you're by straight, gay, whatever. If you're married, be married to that one motherfucker, do something, do everything with that one motherfucker until you're able to be with one motherfucker. You got to be single or be polling or whatever.
That's it.
That was dishonest, That was disloyal, That was sneaky. So yes, I understand now he got this new pompom that he been in after being with hers for four years, so it's new. Probably feel a little different. Like you said, he didn't got time to learn the girl's body. All of that. All of that is true, not taking nothing
away from what you said on that. All of that is true, but the fact still remains that she was honest with him, open with him, introduced it to him with him, he stepped outside of that and decided to do his own thing outside side of that. How is that her fault? Yes, she introduced the female, but it is him who made the choice to dishonor his vows. So the fact that you're blaming her for that can be even further more traumatizing on top of this situation
of her just being feeling betrayed. I also do agree with you that you know, the first time that she had a little side eye situation when he was.
Getting to I agree with what you're saying. I'll let you continue, because that was in the middle of a thought. I did not solely blame her for him sneaking out. I mean for him fucking the girl by himself. But okay, I'll let you continue.
She absolutely should have checked it and nipped it in the butt at that point, like, okay, Hubby, I appreciate you, you know, obliging me in this request, but I feel like you and the third parties getting a little closer than I would prefer for y'all to be. So you know, I'm cool on that. That's what I would have done, you know what I'm saying. First of all, I'm not having no threason.
My husband, But oh, I know you're not.
That's right, And so she should have checked it right there, and you are.
Absolutely bisexual or not.
I bet you won't right because you don't want to be another one writing me about an incident like that that happened, and then now I got to fix your mess. Yeah, you wouldn't be, so that that should exclude this whole shit that you write in me about because you would never do those things right. And you're bisexual yourself, something that you'll never not be right, something you didn't choose to be. These are your words, not mine, but it's
just who you are. And even with that being who you are, you would never bring another woman in the bedroom with you and your husband. Why because you made a conscious decision to commit to one person, whether that be man or woman, to one person. Right, So right, this excludes everything. This really just excludes everything that you're saying.
But okay, there, she should not have stood back and just let it be. But the fact that he is sneaking around with this female is not okay, and that is not her fault. I agree, So I kind of see it from another point of view. I feel like the reason why the husband may have been so adamant and not wanting to do it to begin with was because we don't know his past. Is he a known cheater? You know what I'm saying. Is this something that he is known for doing? Is that a part of his past?
Oh girl?
As he had a problem with keeping just one female and.
Oh girl, come on now, we're not about to do that. We definitely not about to do that. The nigga said no, He said no, not you offer your husband a threesome and the niggas say no. So now you want to dig into why he's saying noose because he may be a cheater. He may be scared to dive into something like this because he know he can't just be with one woman.
Come on, girl, come on, come on, let's cut it out. Let's cut it out.
It sounds like to me that you don't think that she needs to be held accountable for anything.
That's what it sounds like.
It sounds like that you want to make this from her fault to his fault when they both share faults. That's what it sounds like, that that you're putting this more on him. What's what's going on with your past, like did this trigger you in any way? Has your man cheated on you before? Because now I'm about to I'm about to have to fix some more mess for you. I feel like, well, what's what is going on? Are
you projecting because of this story? What is happening? Because that that that's some bullshit.
And being with just one female and maybe in the back of his mind he knew that this was gonna open up that can of worms again and he wasn't gonna be able to stop his sin.
This is how people get single.
You know what I'm saying. We got to consider that we don't know.
Oh my god, we got it now it's a wee. You ain't helping me fix nobody mass ma'am.
You don't need to help me.
You're you're totally biased, like and I think it's because you're by That's that's how I feel like you're taking a biased stance because you are bisexual as well as this woman. But see, that's why it's good for me to fix them, to fix the mess, because I'm neither like you said, I'm not married yet and I'm not by ever, So that that's that's why I can never be biased. Now we got a commercial and if you
click off of this podcast, I swear i'mnna beat your ass. Listen, I tell it like it is like I see it. Whether this woman is street, gay, trans whatever, everybody gets the same advice, no matter what you know, no matter what their preference is, their sexuality, it doesn't matter you get. Everybody's gonna get the same type of advice depending on the situation.
Like what that ground you know what I'm saying. The fact that he was so cocky enough to feel like he could be her everything and she wouldn't need no was he cocky? Lets me know? That says to me
that he feel very highly about himself. So how do we know as you're supposed to a connoisseur of multiple women in the past, and you know, maybe settled down when he met her, and now she done introduce him to what he was used to in the past, and he was remembering how much he likes having more than one pompom.
Yo, you are diluted. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, baby girl.
You are making you see how you just said, Dad made up a whole story about this man's back history, about his life, like you made up a whole backstory about this man's life. You don't even know, Like, what are we talking about here? Look, I hope for damn sure you got everything going on right in your fucking love life, because baby, the way you just sat here and made this whole shit up has me wanting to re evaluate what I told you.
You know what I'm saying. So, uh, my whole point is, I understand your point about her introducing the other female to him, but she did it openly and honestly with him, in commitment with him and conversation with him.
Yeah, you're traumatized too by something.
He, on the other hand, snuck and did something behind her back, whether she introduced the female or not, he was the one that's been lying and has been disloyal.
Well, that's why you don't do shit like this.
He went outside of her. So, whether she introduced it or not, once again, she was open, honest and brought it to the forefront. He's hiding shorty in the background. That's not right, point blank period. So just another point of view from someone who is bisexual and Mary, So I definitely am gonna have a different take on it than you do, and we can agree to disagree, but I would want you to just think about those points
that I brought up. And I'm not gonna lie. Stop the bye bye baby at nine minutes and two seconds because it was too triggering for.
Me, right exactly, that's what we're talking about, exactly, baby, girl.
Look, even listening to you continue to absolve him of his wrongdoing and put all the blame on heart. That's not right.
Well, how the fuck can you even be sitting here writing me and make sure this's your last message to me? Because, to be honest with you, I ain't about to go back and forth with your ass because I know the next the next bulk of messages you're gonna send me ain't gonna be so pretty. And I ain't got time for none of this shit. Like for real, girl, Look you sitting here criticizing me about some advice that I gave to someone that's all so bisexual, just like you, and you ain't even get past nine.
Minutes of it. Girl, fuck out of here.
I'm gonna let you finish this because I need to finish this episode. Let this be your last time even reaching out to me. That's some bullshit.
So that's pretty much it. I hope you listen to this. If you use it for one of your podcasts, that's cool. If not, that's cool as well. I just really wanted to talk directly to you on that because I just wanted you to kind of maybe try and think of it from another point of view, because yeah, he's wrong. He's the one that stepped outside of the marriage. That's wrong, point blank, period. So keep doing your thing, girl, I'm gonna keep listening. I love you, sure, thank you. Have a good day.
Oh girl, I love you too, But that I can't talk to you no more, baby, because you This is crazy. This is crazy, and I don't even like giving up on people. I don't like doing that. I don't like that because it's not about her challenging me. It's about her not even completing listening to the fucking episode like you. You stopped at nine minutes, the minute that the episode is like twenty five minutes.
Are you fucking crazy?
You don't know how it ended, You don't know what you don't that's why, that's why you don't even know what the fuck blame I placed on him, because you stopped too fucking early, and now you over here getting me worked.
Out girl, are you crazy? Shit?
Now?
I know how Judge Maths be feeling this shit. Man, I know that was the randomst shit, but I know how you be feeling. People come up in this courtroom thinking they know every fucking thing and they gotta well, since she got your.
Fucking degree and you know every fucking thing, you.
Should not ever have to ask just to fix no more motherfucking mess. Don't ever hit me back up again. She just pissed me off, trying to educate me about something that I already know about.
Baby.
It's just the difference between you and I is that you actually live a bisexual life.
I don't.
I know exactly what it is, how it works, and what the fuck happens like And like I know, I know exactly.
What it is, and it ain't much. Is you're like both, that's it?
Bye bye?
Is too? You like both sexest, that's it.
You're attracted to both men's and women's that's it at all times. It's never a time where you're not attracted to both, whether you're married or not. I got that, already knew that. What else You're supposed to give me an update on your shit? Not give me an update on your shit and then tell tell me how I could have fixed somebody else's mess better.
Girl, Please, I'm so pissed worded.
She took up a whole fucking episode, and she better listen to this shit and listen to more than nine minutes of you. I ain't give up on listening to your long ass messages. And that was about fifteen minutes worth a message that I had to listen to. I ain't give up on your ass, and I ain't even want to hear what the fuck you had to say after a while, but I still listened because.
I don't do people like that shit.
And I know I said I don't want to talk to you, ask no more, but you better update me because I don't know why the fuck you even played with me like that. And this is the end of this episode, y'all.
Bye.
I talked to y'all next week and in my deepest pan boys, peace can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.