Dr. Jess Is In!

say that it's still the same. Issue is still the same. That's where you need profession now licensed help. Okay, So I encourage everybody to go get all the help that they need. But if I am able to help you and you can save your money. Okay. So the first story, it's from a guy from China. He told me that I can let you guys know that he is one of my fans from China. That makes me feel good. He did not send a voice note, but he decided to write in his story. Here we go, Hi, ja,

big fan of Carefully Reckless. I got married a few months ago. My wife was keeping a big secret from me. I noticed that she had been acting a little different after the proposal party. Okay, proposal party, I know that's freddy. Do what they should? They do a different in China, they get lit up in there. I proposed to my wife because she was pregnant and we wanted to get married before the baby arrived. I found out about a disturbing secret three days before the wedding. I wonder what

the hell this is? Oh lord, what you didn't find out? But I still wanted to go through with everything. Me and my wife have dated since school. Oh wow, that's nice. Her parents loved me so much. Her mother was the one who told me about the secret. Oh damn, come on, now, we go through with the wedding on the wedding day.

On the actual wedding day, at the reception, I proposed the toast, telling her I love her, how beautiful she looked, and how in love I've been with her since the first day I laid eyes on her, how I'm so excited for her being with child. As everyone toasted and sipped their champagne, I played a video on the projector behind me and my wife, and the video oh ship. The video was of her and my brother having sex

in the bed. Oh wow. Not sure if you've ever heard anything like this, but it was the most humiliating moment of my life. She was embarrassed. I was embarrassed, and my brother was sitting there embarrassed as well. Everyone spent their drinks on each other. Although her mother told me about this secret, she didn't know that I had planned to show everyone at the wedding. I posted the video on social media and it went slightly viral. Why this niggas savage? This niggas a savage? So now everyone

hates me and it's really unfair. What should I do? Apologize to everyone? Divorce my wife or move to America. It's like, now, I ain't say that last part, y'all, or sit down and have a talk with my brother. Okay, yeah, listen, I ain't know y'allways having them type of problems in China, Damn. Not in no China. That's some some Baltimore ship. God damn, that's some some fun. That's some USA ship that I ain't just gonna put that on my city. That's some

USA ship alright, Alright. That just goes to show improved that people are people everywhere no matter where you are. Nobody your skin color, no matter your nationality or ethnicity, your culture. People gonna cheat, and people go and have receipts and show them whatever they got to show him. Man, he just happened to show him at his wedding. Okay. I have a couple of questions for you, though. Why would you still proceed to marry her if you saw the video before you walked down the aisle? You saw

the video before your wedding day. You told me that her mother told you so. If her mother sat you down and tell her, did she give you the video or did you like? How the hell did you get the video? First of all? Okay, so I'm just confused. Like I said, I have so many questions. Then are you sure that the baby is even yours? It's so many missing pieces to this puzzle. It was kind of all over the place, but I get the gist. Last question, why would you play the video at your wedding and

you said it was the most humiliating day of your life. Well, you helped with that, honey. You didn't have to to do that. You didn't have to put it on display for your friends, your family. You know, I'm even cowork or whoever else that you invited to your wedding to see. Of course that embarrassed her, although I'm sure her embarrassment or the least of your worries at this point, but

you you embarrassed yourself either. Even further, Yes, you should have been had a conversation with your brother as soon as your mother told on your brother, because that's what I'm thinking. I'm thinking your brother might have told mom, or mom may have found out and she bought it to you because she knew that you were about to marry this girl. And and and they love her as your wife. They you know, they loved her up until then.

You know. I don't know if your dad knows, but I can tell this disappointed your mother so much that she's sat down with you, because that has to be a frustration. I'm about to if I'm if I'm a mother and my son is about to be married to this woman that has sex with my other son, and and she's saying that she's pregnant by my son who she's about to marry, I'm gonna set my son down and do the same thing. So there's no penalty on mom. Oh no, wait, her mother, Okay, yes, all right, you

said her mother told you. All right, that's that's even worse and better. The reason why I say worse is because damn, she didn't even go to her daughters to tell her daughter that she told you this ship. I would have went to my daughter first. I wouldn't have hit you first. I would have sat down and told you if my daughter didn't have the balls to do it. But she had the balls to sleep with your brother.

And the reason why I say that's even better is because you know that the mother does not indulge in ship like that, and there is some type of loyalty there to you with her mother, you know what I'm saying. So I I would appreciate it, but I think she should have sat down and told her daughter that ship too. And did you ever even tell her that her mother was the one to tell you or whatever? Because I know she's thinking probably like, well, how the fuck did

you get this video? And then who in the funk recorded it? Because that sounds like some ship that she didn't even know what was happening while she was having so with your brother. It sounded like your brother recorded the ship and wanted to keep it for one day. I don't know, what what are you in your brother's relationship? Like, I have so many questions for you and you're so far away. Oh my god. I do think you need

to get a DNA test on the baby. I think you need to sit down and talk to your wife. I do think that you need to tell her exactly how you feel and tell her why you still married her. Because the only reason that I'm thinking you still married her is because you've foreseen getting over this. Y'all getting past it some way, somehow. I don't know. That's the only way that I would still be talking about I do and saying my vows and ship, you know what

I'm saying. I guess that you've never seen Best Man, but I know there's a Chinese version The Best Man.

You need to go watch that, and you need to see because there's a part where Morrish Chestnut can't even look his wife and the eye as they're saying their vows and ship is like as he keeps seeing his friend who had sex with her, you know what I'm saying, And he found that out like two days before his wedding, and the American best Man, you know, so, I don't know what I'm gonna seeing you the movie if you know semi address. I've seen you the movie over there

if you've never seen it before. But that all we got. We got YouTube. You look on to YouTube or Hulu and all that ship. You know, y'all be creating everything. I know you've seen best Man somewhere. Y'all created the damn fire stick. But um, go ahead and watch it, you know. And and but on a more serious note, seriously, babe, I wouldn't have married her. I'm just telling you. My thoughts or the or the wedding would be pushed back like I can't find out something that drastic, and it'd

be my own brother. And then I still walked down the fucking aislet. I don't know. Your ass might be a little sociopath. How the hell did you even gather that much strength and patience to wait to the fucking reception to do this big preason take? And that embarrassed you further. Now everybody hate you. I wouldn't give a funk about nobody hating me though this should happen to me. You cheated on me in private. I'm gonna let everybody know a public period. I get it, trust me, I

get it. That's why I said. I knew y'all did that type of ship over there. That's what the funk we do over here. But I get it. Check back in with me. I will be here for you, and if for for your wife, if she want to talk or whatever. You know, I'm whoever else. I'm so sorry that this happened to you, and I can only imagine how you feel, even thinking that your baby couldn't be yours, or even because she's still pregnant and so you don't know, it's so much doubt in your house. And I don't

even know if you're in the house. Just check back in with me, but you need to sit down and have a conversation with her and your brother, not them together, just both of them separate. And I would extend an apology to your mother in law. I would just because although she outed her daughter, you kind of outed her a little bit in the sense or in her opinion as a mom. I'm thinking that her only problem is you went about it the wrong way of of letting

her know, like you, you put your wife on blast. Okay, so just just extend an apology to her mother, because I'm pretty sure you hurt her mother's feelings. And then also you have to also think about this. Some say this that I'm gonna move on, just think about this factor.

If that was the video of them having sex in the bed, they were naked, So you further exposed your wife to people who didn't even know what a body looked like, or you know, to someone's sacred to you, like you know, you you expose your your brother, your brother's dingling, I mean, and then you you exposed your wife as well. So check back in with me. I'm not faulting you. I'm not telling you that you shouldn't feel the way that you feel. I just think you

went about it a little sporadic um. It was a that was very very reckless. But this is carefully reckless, you know. So I'm glad that you actually brought this issue to me. Check in. Moving on. Hold up, hold up, I noticed ship getting good. But listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. This woman sends it. Okay, this one is a voice recording. Your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice message system at the tone. Please record your message.

A year and a half ago, I got engaged to a guy. Let me just start off by saying I'm bisexual. First first plans, but I got engaged to a guy. Nless to say, things did not work out. I met someone down here and he's like role and we hit it off. Like I met her at a job at bartend. Um. So I met her at my job. We've been cool, Like, you know, certain things my ex fiance didn't do with me, she was willing to do for me. UM, certain places that he wouldn't take me. She would certain activities that

you know I have talked to her about. She would take me to go do. UM. We we just hit it off. We became like my best friend, like she became my best friend. UM. So one night we had a few and we kind of talked about some things and how we felt about each other. I was the first one to say something to her. UM. I felt like, you know, I don't. I didn't want it to confuse us as a friendship. But I also felt like I

needed to tell her that I liked her. UM. But again, like I said, I I also told her I'm still trying to work through my feelings with my ex. UM. She said that she just she wanted to strictly just be friends, just be friends. I took that because I just wanted to be in her life at some capacity. That's it, because she is such such a good person. Um. Fast forward, we still hung out, We still were with each other almost every single day. UM, I still went

on just like many many activities. Some people call it dates, but I guess. I mean she was my friend and that's what she was, so I don't. I don't want to say it was a date. Um. I work in a bar. Like I said, I was at work one day and I met another female who was in the bar, and she seemed really really cool. Now, mind you, my first friend, she wanted to strictly be friends, and I was okay with that. It was cool. Um. So the second girl, I thought her vibe was cool, she knew

about where I was from everything else. Um. I gave her my number. My first friend found out, and she

got really really upset, like pissed. She caught me the next morning and was like, oh, like I just felt like, you know, we're yeah, we're just friends, but like you know, like I just you're just giving yourself access to people who you don't know, and you don't know these people, and and my thing was like I didn't know you either, and you still got my number and we still vibbed out, and I feel like maybe that's just for me to

decide at the end of the day. Um So we we stopped talking for a little bit, and then she popped up at my job and she was just like, I'm sorry I missed my friend, blah blah blah. We went on this back and forth after this for weeks. It was like she would just like, I don't know if I trust you now and all this stuff, and like, how do I know that you're not how do I know that you're you're not giving yourself to other people and all this other stuff. But my thing is you

wanted to be friends. I don't see what the issue is. I really don't. Recently, I just had a birthday. I hadn't talked to her again for two weeks. We were on this big old fight. She popped up at my birthday party, made like a grand gesture of gifts and everything else, and like it was it was I. I appreciated it because she was my friend, but I'm just so confused. I'm so confused. Yesterday she asked me out to dinner, and I just don't know where I should go.

I just need I need another woman's opinion on this. Like, Am I wrong for just feeling like I kind of want to just like separate myself from her? Am I wrong? And I'm only asking because there are certain things that she has done in the past that it's kind of just like the part calling the kettle black when it comes to me giving out my number. I've seen her entertain other females. I haven't said it. I've never said

anything because we're friends, you know what I mean? Like I watched her with other women and it doesn't bother me, Like, yeah, my feelings are still here for her, Yeah, they're still there. But like I said, I just don't want I don't want my feelings for her and the feelings I just recently had for my do want to say. I don't want it to just mix and mingle. I want I want to try and separate these feelings. So that's why so I'm asking, Like, am I wrong for separating myself?

Am I wrong? Because I do love her? I love her to death and I do and I want her around, but I don't know. I don't know, Okay, honey, well, I love and appreciate that you are putting me in your business. Um, she sounds very toxic. She does. I'm sorry, I don't. I'm trying to figure this sh it out with her, because, okay, going back to the beginning, she told you that you guys were hitting it off whatever, whatever, getting to know each other, and she told you that

she wanted to be nothing more than just friends. All right, So when you say that to somebody, that's ultimately what you mean. You know, you're telling them that you don't want a relationship. You respected it, you were like, okay, fine, that's it, right. So then you meet someone else you wret at a bar. You're not from there. You moved from Pittsburgh and South Carolina, understand that, and that's where you met her. Yeah, you met her. You didn't know her.

You meet new people. I didn't move down here for you, bitch. I moved now here with my fiance. She didn't work out with him, but I met you, we hit it off. It sounds to me like she had a little fucking pimp, honestly, And UM, I'm just keeping that ship. Really, I'm not saying she don't love you. I'm not saying you don't have a connection. All I'm saying is it sounds as if she doesn't want to be with you, but she doesn't want you to be with anybody else. She doesn't

want to see you with anybody else. You've already started building whatever. This is. A situation ship is what I call it. Um, you've already started building that with her, But you weren't the only one that she was building that with. Because the only reason why she would say, after y'all getting to know each other, and she just throws a speed up in. They're like, look, all I want is just to be friends. I don't want to

take it any further. She was probably working on something with someone else, waiting for them to get their ship together. She was probably already involved with someone, like I always tell everybody, Like I always tell people, nobody just talks to no one. Somebody like, if I go outside and meet a guy right now, you know, and I have a boyfriend. But if I didn't, I want to go try to date someone, They're gonna have people in their phone that they're talking to. No nobody is just talking

to no one, you know, And I don't care. People can people some of you, all listeners gonna be like, oh, no, ounts out, nobody outside, nobody, No, it's somebody. I ain't saying you gotta be having sex to somebody. I'm not saying you've gotta be intimate with somebody. I'm not saying that you have to be going on dates with someone physically. But you are talking to somebody, whether it's just a high or what you're doing, or when I'm gonna come and see you, or there is somebody. Some everybody got

somebody that they talking to one or more people. That's just how it goes. That's how it is. And um, a lot of people these days date with the notion that it won't last. So they like to have ship in the back pocket. They like to have more than one option. They like to have options. You know, people date with options, which is not good for anybody. That ship is not good. Ship is actually it's disloyalty at its best, Like it's it's It doesn't build loyalty at all,

it doesn't build faithfulness at all. So, um, that's what it sounds like. Though it sounds like to me that that you are making the right decision. You just need for someone to confirm it for you. Yes, you're doing the right thing. You should sever tise with her. I think you should just distance yourself. You love her the death, Yes you want her around and all that, but she seems like a very toxic person and she seems like she's not even ready to be in a relationship. She

doesn't want one. She clearly told you that. So you only have to do what's best for you and date around until you find what you want. You know, don't hold yourself high stitch to her while she's out here playing fucking games, because that's what she's doing, talking about how low manipulating it is, talking about, Oh, you don't know these people. You don't know these people here? What the funk? Are you my protector and save you? I didn't know your ass and I've seen you getting numbers

and you aren't about me getting somebody. Now, I work at a ball let's get bit just drunk, and then they want me. What do you expect? That's it, ship, that's all. It's in a nutshell. But you checked back in with me. Yes, I do think that you need to have a conversation with her. Everything like the first key of everything, all these stories that you guys were

giving me from week to week. It's communication. Nobody really knows how to communicate their feelings, and it's easier to talk to somebody else about it who don't know either of you or who actually only knows you. But then that's when you get biased opinions when you talk to people who know you and who you know. I only want to see the best for you, and that's not always bad. But you guys need to know how to talk to the people that are that you're in these

relationships with that you're going through these obstacles with. Learn how to talk. You know what I'm saying. I think you should talk to her and tell her exactly why you are distancing yourself because she do ship like pop up at your job and ship and she does. I'm pretty sure she know where you live. Y'all were actually getting to know each other and not actually on your way to a relationship, but then she stopped it. So be careful, definitely, you know, sound like a crazy little pimp,

you know, but communicate that with her. Keep that line of communication open, just to communicate that, and then close that ship off. Okay, you don't want nothing else to do with that until she come correct, she ain't gotta come at all. That's it, And just like that, I'm going to end this episode. This has been great, honey. We didn't have an Asian man put his goddamn wife on a teleprompter at the wedding, cheating on him with his brother. We got a pimp and stud named slick

Back trying to control this bartender's life. My name is a pimp named slick Back. We don't add time for this ship. We have to get ourselves together as a people. Whether you're Asian, black or white, it don't matter. We gotta get the ship together. So I'm just letting all y'all know right now, huh keep sending in your stories. I'm gonna keep trying to help you. Tune in each and every Wednesday, seven am, Too, Carefully Reckless and Reckless Discussions airs to nights at seven pm only on YouTube

and then My Deepest paandvoys heys. Carefully Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.