Don't Be "Emburrassed"

of kids, okay. She was turning three years old. All right, cool, I see you. I pick her up. I'm like, hey, baby, what's going on? What's going on now? Usually at three years old, you can construct sentences. Every kid learns at their own pace. I do know that every child is different, every girl is different, every little boy is different. Even when you have two babies, the first child may not experience with the second child experience or whatever. Right, So

I picked the baby up. I'm talking to her. I said, you look pretty today. She said nah. So I said, no, say thank you. She said that right now. I put it down. I said, your hair looks pretty. Did mommy do your hair? She said dah. Like you can tell from her gesture. She wanted to talk, she wanted she understood everything I was saying. She just couldn't respond. Now she's three again. I go to her mother. I pull it to the side. I said, yo, um, did you

you notice that baby girl don't talk? And she like, yeah, she's stubborn. So I said no, no, no, no no no. She was just happy, you know, to talk to me. You know, now, babies love me, kids love me. If y'all are avid watchers of jest, hilarious, and y'all know my mother runs a preschool, you know, all the kids love me. I have like a bond with kids that is very unique. It's different. It's not like a Gui Gui Gucci, but it's like on some it's different with me.

I'm like the major pain. What the kids loved me for some reason. All kids love me. So I'm like baby Carol Canto. So she's stopping and I said no, she wasn't being stopborn with me like she was cool. I was asking our questions and I could tell that she wanted to say yes and thank you and all that, but she couldn't. You know, she three years. Oh, I ain't seeing it in in a while, but she three she should be saying something. She said, girl, she already she

talking the house. I said, all right, cool, come time to cut the cake. Then the opening gifts happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday too, baby girl, Happy birthday to you, and many more. And after I hit the and many more, she tried to repeat me, and she said, uh like she she couldn't. She just couldn't put a word together. It was just coming out it sounds. So I pulled them over to the side again.

I said, look, yo, see like she tried to repeat what I said, but she just couldn't put the letters together. The to do it, she said, jess, my daughter good, she good, Yo, she good. She just made she hand on that today giving me all the young typical mother excuses of Waigian child is not cooperating the day she didn't have a nap. She hungry. Oh she don't even know what's going on. Oh she I pulled her had too tight when I put our ballis on. Baby girl,

your daughter can't talk. This is what I'm telling you. So fast forward a couple of months later, she brings the baby over my house. Now Ashton loved kids as well, and kids love Ashton so he take a playing with a Now we have a dog. I got a little French bulldog. At this point, he was still a baby. So you know, when puppies are little, they see other kids, they like to get happy, they get excited. She got afraid, she got scared. She screamed to the top of her lungs.

And I said, what's wrong? What's wrong? And I said, is it the dog? Say dog? Dog? She was like, uh uh, like yo, it was just bothering the funk out of me that I knew you that this baby had a developmental disorder. You know, it was something going on. She wants to talk. There is something not right. She needs speech classes right now. It was just me and her mother. We wasn't in the party setting. We was in my kitchen. I said, look, that baby needs speech classes.

Have you ever She said, look, we're not doing this today. I said, no, we're gonna do this. This is for your baby. She's like, it's just nothing wrong with my Child's nothing wrong my child. She got upset, she took her baby, she left. I haven't seen the baby since, haven't seen her, haven't talked to her. But this is the thing. What she said to me stuck out in the back of my mind. She said, it's nothing wrong

with my child. I'm not ready being burst like you're not about to try to sit and emburst me about my child like every kid learned that they owned page just because she's not doing what Ash was doing at three. Now, first of all, I never brought my child into it. I never brought my child into this. I'm noticing something about your child, who I love dearly, just that she

was mine. Don't do that. I'm your friend, if we're friends, I pulled to be able to tell you and pull you to the side instead of going to talk about your ass through out other friends or or or telling somebody else your business. You know, I'm coming to you from mother to mother. There is something wrong with your child. That's it. So with that, band said, I haven't spoken to it, which brings me to the carefully reckless discussion. Now, as a parent, it is your duty, your everlasting duty,

to guarantee your child protection. You are supposed to protect, provide love. You are a safe place for your child. You know what I'm saying. But protect is first and foremost whether you're a dad or mom, and that that's not only protecting from bullying, protecting from I mean, I'm supposed to protect you period, you know what I'm saying, protect them from everything. I'm supposed to nourish, take care of you, further educate you. You know I'm supposed to

do that. If you're not a teacher, you're the smartest parent already cool, but you can teach your child. That's you teach a child without even knowing you're teaching. A parent is a child's first teacher, before they even discover what child care is, before they even discover what a daycare is, before they even hit preschool, before they go to elementary school. You are their first teacher. So just know that every birth thing mother is a teacher, not

coming and adopting mothers. I have to put that out there because everything is so fucking sensitive. But as a mother, the first thing I thought when I gave him birth my son was damn, this is a whole another life. And the psycho repeats itself. You have to protect your child, and my opinion, my ex friend was not protecting her child. You're worried about the embarrassment that you're going to face, versus the embarrassment that she's going to face when she

grow up. Why wouldn't you try to get it under wraps right now? The baby was three when this happened up. But the baby she got another birthday coming up, she'll before and and I I hope that you know, if she is listening to this, that she did get help

or this drives her to do it. There are so many instances, um and so many cases that I see where parents are too proud, too proud to even admit that their child has an issue, whether it be a d h D, whether it is you know, a deformity, a physical deformity of some sort, whether it's dyslexia, whether your child stutters badly, whether Tourette syndrome, whatever. You can't worry so much about yourself that you forget the livelihood of your child. You forget that they have to grow

up and be you as well. And when I say you an adult, a mother, a father, you can't do that. Now you're now dictating their life at this point, and you're not thinking of them as an individual. You're thinking about yourself. Hold up, Hold up, I noticed ship getting good. But listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me you'll listen. We have to give up the eyes and the means and the mines when we give birth. As mothers, you know, we have to

give that up. You gotta give up on yourself sometimes to be there for your children. That's one of the hardest jobs is being a mother, let alone a single mother. I give all the power to y'all, all the kudos to y'all, But being a mother period is a job, not saying being a dad is not. So I'm gonna say parents now. Speaking in terms of my friend being a mother, I know it's hard. Every time I opened up my mouth about the baby's speech, it put a dapper on her day. She was upset, she was pissed.

She felt like I was coming at her baby. I'm not coming at you. Imagine who the funk gonna come at this baby when she grow up and she can't talk. Protect your child from that ship. You can protect her from all this ship right now. Take her as to Kennedy Krieger. Go get her an evaluation, take care of her, be her hero. Because she can't talk. She's three. She is at least supposed to be saying a b c's do you understand me? At three read y'all gotta pay

attention to your babies. Don't have to evaluate your children. You have to. You can protect them from so much, from their lives being you know, miserable, or them having to live with the flaw so big that they don't get to see themselves. We have the power as mothers, as mothers, as fathers to change that ship. Now a lot of times it's not a lot of things that

you can do. We have artistic children. We have children who are born uh you know, limbless or you can't walk, or or you have a birth defect that prevents you from doing things that you want to do. You know, children that that can't run because they have pope, polio or you know, anything of that nature. You we still have to do what the funk we can to make them feel as equal as possible to other children who

don't have these problems. I had another girl that I knew, you know, I'm saying, I know it like she wasn't related to me with fun her because I'm mad at her. She ain't getting to help for watch out. You know, one of my cousins, I don't give a funk right. She had a son. He had dyslexia. Nobody knew this for a long time. One of his teachers when he got in the first grade, said something to her about it.

Do you know this bit? Try to fight the teacher, like, I don't understand how as a mother you can have so much fucking pride that you can't even take a teacher informing you about a struggle that your child has a developmental disorder? Are you serious? Crazy? She tried to fight the teacher. She was banned from the school. She took my little cousin out of school, put him in another school right now. Look, he could talk, he could do everything to solve math. He just couldn't spell, and

he couldn't read, but talk perfectly. He was bad as hell. Little cousin was bad as ship. But you know that was the one issue that he had. You know, mentally he could not do it. It was just something that he couldn't do. As he was growing up, his behavior got worse. He would get so frustrated with not being able to read when he would lash out in school. He would lash out at home doing homework. He would last shout on his mentor he would lash out doing whatever.

She diagnosed him and said that he had bipolar disorder. Never got him evaluating or nothing, but you're gonna tell the fucking family he has bipolar disorder, so we won't be looking at him. And that's the reason that we won't be looking at him. Crazy when he lays shout at the cook house and ship because because he can't read with the rest of his fucking cousins who got great eight report cards and ship and who like, you're

selfish as fuck as a mother. So she would start beating him, beating him, sucking him up when he would while out and he was like eight or nine at this point, and he would tell her, I can't read it. I can't read it. I'm not doing it. I'm not doing it, like real mad, like if I can't do it, I'm not doing it, and don't ask me to. He had to live with that for eight years. His father

got him help, His father got him up. She was beating on his baby, beating on his little kid, beating on him, thinking that he's just being nonchal lot, not doing it right because because he want to give her a hard time. No, he can't read, dumbass, and he's telling you, and you're so prideful because you think your child is supposed to be perfect at everything. You don't want to be one of those parents us who have to endure something being wrong with their child. It's okay,

shit happens. Every child is not born the same, and these are issues that you have to deal with before it affects the rest of their fucking lives. They're innocent, that didn't acts to be here. Take care of your children. Take care of your children, evaluate them, get to know them. Catch on to bodily functions, catch on to the motor skills, catch on two signs, body language, catch on try to

do your own learning. Time to see what your child knows before you even send them to school or send them to daycare to be in the care of somebody else. You can catch it your damn self before somebody else catches it. You know, it's okay to have a child with disabilities. It is, It's all right. What the hell you have to own it. You have to be honest

with yourself. Your child needs you first. Shit, if you want to now what the funk you think they're gonna feel, You have to understand it's for your children's greater good. Your child's greater good. Now. A lot of times it has nothing to do with the mother. Sometimes it just happens. Some children are born. Some things are hereditary, some things are not. Some things come from you not having a healthy pregnancy. People doing whatever they want when they're pregnant

with their bodies. That's why y'all really joke certain celebrities about going vegan to to carry babies or or not only eating certain things, and and only you know you have to do that. Especially when you get up in age and you have babies, you're at risk. You know, your risk is greater, the risk of losing the baby or giving an unhealthy birth or whatever, having all these issues. Those chances increase when you're older. And that's usually what

after thirty five or something. I don't wanna don't quote me on statistics, y'all. I'm just ain't metter fact. Let me stop throwing out these goddamn numbers. So you'll be, like Jeff said, if you're thirty six, you've been on hand old babies. Because because y'all know y'all do it, I ain't say that. All I'm saying is the older you get, the chances of you having a high risk pregnancy is greater and my little cousin who had dyslexia all the time and in a learning condition that he

had to deal with. My cousin was smoking cigarettes her whole pregnancy. When her water broke, she was banging a fucking FuG That means in Baltimore, that mean she was smoking a cigarette. She was banging a ship out them fuggs. The fuck and then't want to be in denial when it comes out that your son was affected by it down the line, Why the fuck would you even still consider smoking cigarettes when you're carrying a life inside of you. He's breathing the air you breathe, You're putting tobacco in

his system voluntarily. Bitch that she made me so, may you know? Now we got a commercial and if you click off of this podcast, I swear I'm gonna beat

your ass. Listen. That brings me to just fix my mess now, I asked online, has anybody ever had to undergo any of these situations or or was ever put in a predicament where you had to tell a friend or a family member that their child is mentally challenged, or their child is child lunge with something, or their child is struggling with something that they need to pay attention to, they need to take heed to it, that

they need to get it under control. I asked that, and I'm gonna read off a few responses t underscore I I e. Says this is me right now, not so much as in denial, but overwhelmed. We recently found out that my son hadscalcula, which causes him to have higher anxiety. So I'm trying to see who all I can tell without the typical black family bullshit and actually get help and cope with this. Well. I love the

honesty about it. I'm glad that that you even took him to the doctor to get him evaluated, that he was diagnosing, that y'all actually know the condition now, So now that y'all, y'all have to move forward. If you don't want to tell anybody, tell them when you're ready. It's just you that needs to know, because it's not

really that people need to know your business. It's just to the point where parents get so afraid and they get so oh my god, oh my god, why my child, to the point where they don't even do anything about it because they're just so scared of what other people will think. So it's not really all about what other people will think, it's how it affects you in hindsight. You're becoming one of those people that you don't want to find out if you ain't helping your child, because

now you're judging your child. That's what that is when you don't get help. I appreciate you sharing that with me. For mother to mother and the typical family bullshit, baby that's gonna come. You just gotta be the hero for your child. You just gotta always let him know that you got his back, no matter what. Hillary Banks four

points oh says I adopted my youngest daughter. She has PTSD and a d h D. My lady thinks my daughter is being disrespectful when she gets upset and elevates her voice, but she gets that way when she's overloaded and overwhelmed with emotion. She's in denial. My daughter has actual clinical diagnosis. I get it. I definitely get it,

and she needs clinical help as well. To understand Hillary Banks, I don't know your real name, so I'm just going, you know, say Hillary Banks because that's your Instagram name. Understand this, Hillary. If your lady has no kids, I'm not gonna say she won't necessarily never understand, but it's gonna take her a long time to understand what parenting is like now she does have children. Maybe her children didn't suffer from this PTSD and a d h D, so it can be a lot on people. Listen, I'm

around parents all the time who struggle with that. Takes a lot of patients to deal with children, period, But when they have these diagnosis, these disorders like a d h D and PTSD, I know that child is going through some ship, you know, So you have to also be cognizant of how your lady feels as well, not choosing one over the other, not because you're supposed to choose your kids, but you still have to get her

the proper help so she can get better. And also give your lady the benefit of the doubt, because it can seem very disrespectful when a child raises their voice and be wild and out and ship, you know what I'm saying. So make sure that you're taking everybody's feelings into consideration in right call me g O eight says. My sister in law was in denial about my nephews autism. We saw he had problems with social interactions and proper behavior. So my brother took him to get tested and he

was diagnosed with a mild form of autism. He's knowing much better now since he started therapy. See problem solving. I'm not gonna say problems solved. No, they can't take his autism away, but they can get him help so he can cope better in certain situations. There are all levels of autism, a lot of different levels to it.

You got ask Burgers. That's that's that's the mildest. Those people can still look at you, you have conversations with you think you had the total other opposite and of the spectrum where those people don't walk, they never look at you. You know that a lot of them can't even talk, but they're still smart in their own right, you know what I'm saying. And the movie that y'all should watch, I don't know if you've ever seen it, but watch it. It's called Mercury Rising. Mercury Rising is

about a kid of autism. I think I think it would it would definitely shed some light on parents who actually take care of autistic children. But yes, back to my point, I'm glad that they got him therapy. Now, as far as his sister in law being in denial about it, you know, I see that all the time now. A lot of times. It depends on how long you are in denial, Because I get it. You see something wrong with your child, you don't know what to do. You scared, You don't want to tell your family, Your

family may judge you. You You don't want to tell this person because this person may laugh. You don't want to tell this person because then you don't want to look like you know, you don't want to look weak. You know, I get it. But the longer it takes for you to get yourself together, the long it takes for the child as well to get help. You gotta figure that out and get some help sooner than later. Last one,

I'm gonna read Antisocial Underscore Butterfly with two wise. My best friend, her baby didn't walk till after two he'll be three next week, and he is non verbal, and she tells people he's non chalant the whole time. She's never took him to a pediatrician. Same situation that has head while I just told you all about with one of my family members. Nonchalant. Okay, so when he grows up. What's gonna be the excuse? What are you gonna tell people when he grows up? Oh no, no, no, better one.

What is he going to be able to tell people when you grow up? Not a goddamn thing because he's nonverbal. If he can't talk now, he ain't gonna be able to talk when he gets older. So ship, get some help for these babies. This ship is frustrating this ship. It's frustrating that ship can play a big part in your mental health as well, which is not a goddamn joke. We've seen this for the last few years. It's it's

been put all over the place. Now a lot of people are aware of what mental health can really do and how bad it can really get. So y'all need to get behind this. And I'm not fussing at everybody because everybody doesn't have these issues, but I know somebody to know, somebody to know somebody that does know someone else that knows, you know where in the mouth. Don't

be scared to be honest with your friends. Should beat it in their eggs until they get out and know that, No, I'm gonna in this ship before I custom parents out on this motherfucker man, get these babies together. And on that note, I love y'all to death. Tune in next week each and every Wednesday, which is hump Day. And then my best pan boys like you got your ass, nigger, shut the fuck up. I've been out hit on my cash,

sold you bout my hustle, I've been stop. I don't don't know lapping getting money and didn't like the snapping. Carefully Reckless is a production of I heart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from I heart Radio, visit the I heart Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.