Welcome to Can't Fully Reckless, the production of iHeart Radio and the Black Effects. What up y'all? She girls just hilarious and oh shit, be back on the air. Welcome back to another carefully reckless episode with your girl Joceilarious. I'd be fixing Macedonia and I was gonna think of something different to do for this season, but I like what I'm doing. That's just what it is. I really
love giving people advice. I love being able to help and hearing people's stories, and you know, because a lot of it, I've been through a lot of it. I've known people who's gone through it and stuff like that. So I love to relate to you guys and to be able to give you advice based off of my experience and what I know and things like that. So
just keep on sending your stories. I would love if y'all saying voice notes like I mean, I get that y'all don't want nobody to recognize y'all little dirty ass voices, but still, like, come on, y'all can't write half the time, and I'm not trying to scale all the way. I mean, sorry, but I really really want y'all to include punctuation, periods, commas, apostrophes, dashes, forward slashes, backward slashes. You know, so it's not a big long run on air sentence because some of y'all
be having really good stories. But if I can't read it, I'm not going to try to use it. I'll be strussing me to find out. But I have my producer here in the studio today, Taylor. She's going to read, Yeah. This is the same girl who was like, yeah, so we and our show. It's not our show, girl, it's mine. I just wanted to make that clearer because she be she sometimes she get a little boy herself. So say hi, first sailer, and then you can read the first story.
Hey, y'all, what's up?
Go ahead?
Hi.
I would like to remain anonymous, but I'm twenty four years old female dating a thirty year old. We have been together on and off since I was eighteen. Recently we have been back together for a couple of months and have been communicating better than ever. I'm kind of freaky person sexually, and my man does not seem to be one. So one day I had the idea to ask him to show me the kind of porn he watches and.
Well, let's say there is a reason.
You shouldn't ask questions. You don't want the answer to none of these, but just looked anything like me. My initial reaction was hurt, and now I'm left with just confusion and questions.
But I feel like I can't bring it up.
I understand that all men have many type of women they like. It just made me feel insecure, not knowing if he really attracted to me or if I'm his type.
He's self a porn What.
I think she is digging. I think you're digging a little bit too much. I get it. So you're a freak, he's not. Okay, Well you're a freaking the sheets and he's not okay. How long they been together? Since they were eighteen, but she's now what four twenty four or they been again for six years, so he's been hitting at for six years. Basically, I just wanted to know when she realized that he wasn't freaky, because it can't
or not. You've been with him six years. I know that you haven't been sexually unsatisfied for six whole fucking years. And when he was eight, saying you know when you're eighteen, when when y'all first start fucking, like that's when you're exploring, and you like, okay, all right, cool. You know you ain't really like break out the box, but you even trying out shit now that you are twenty four, I bet is more you want to try. And then you probably got it popping with the toys and stuff. I'm
sure you have a toy and all that. But you're going through his his porn history trying to see if that, like, if that is any indication that you're not his type. I wouldn't really go that far. I would sit and have a conversation with him. But you don't want him to know you went through his phone. And but when you were going through his phone, right, and I don't know if his lapsoid because you didn't specify that, but if its most niggas watch I told you said she went through his phone.
He asked him what kind of porn he showed her?
Oh, when he showed her willingly and so you said you don't want to ask him about it like he willingly told you so willingly asked him like is it something that did I fall off to you? Like you know? Or are you attracted to those type of girls because listen, let me tell you something. I've learned this from experience men. They say, a lot of men will preach that natural shit. Oh I want my girl to be natural. I like this,
I like that. But they will fantasize about bitches that went on the laid on the table, like and had a BBL and so on and so forth. You get what I'm saying. So that's possible because my ex boyfriend will all always cheat on me with big, big, big booty bitches like strippers like who are built, you know, voluptuously and they're very curvy and big cities, big asses, wide hips. You know, a lot of them had work done. A lot of them were just like naturally put together
like that. You get what I'm saying. But I was always on the petite side, like you know, I've always had like a little bubble. But you get what I'm saying. Listen, At first, my little hips was like Gena from Martin straight up and down. I had a chest like Trey songs none. You know what I'm saying. But I've always been small. So even when I got my boob job, when I got my fat transfer, which is now called a BBL. You know what I'm saying, I still was
relatively small, because that's just what it is. I don't want to have the fattest ass in the world, or I don't want it to look like I wanted to go get surgery. And that's why it doesn't you get what I'm saying. But what he wanted was me, but he still had though who's I don't know, like what is it like those craves just for another bitch. They never settle down and marry them type of bitches that they fantasize about. You know what I'm saying, Like, I
don't really know how to put it. You're attracted to one thing, like you like to have fun with that, you know what I'm saying. But that's not who you're gonna marry at the end of the day. That's not who you want to have the kids. That's why I'm telling you from experience, I wouldn't go off of what he like in his porn site. And then you didn't
even describe yourself. I don't know if you're scared or not, but I don't you know what I'm saying, But this man have been with you for six years, don't you think he would have left you if that's what he wants. All the bitches in the.
Porn, they've been on and off, so we don't know why.
I missed all the glues. So they were on and off.
They've been on off for six years.
And she said that they've been communicating better, and then she just want to ask him that so she does didn't feel like she could tell how she really feels.
So it's like just kept herself. I guess, I guess she's gonna call.
It, but no, but no, you cannot be scared. You don't want to cause an argument if you're supposed to be communicating better. That's the part of communication, being honest about your feelings and how you feel, because you're gonna drive yourself crazy, Like you know what I'm saying, Like you're gonna drive yourself crazy. Point history is not the way to compare yourself to some like it's not like do you see what these women are doing? And then
like he not really fucking these bitches. This is just to get him stimulated, you know. And that's why I wanted to say a freak before. You know, if he was never a freaky deecky, then that's just the person he is, you know, and if you're not happy with that, then you need to either try to upgrade that or move on. If that's if sex plays a big part in your relationship for you, you know, to that degree. But if he was freaky before and then just calm the fuck down, that's something for you to get to
the bottom of. Like, all right, what's up. Why do I feel like you're not as attracted to me anymore sexually? That's literally just the question. You don't even have to take it the porn, you know, unless you feel like there's a way in the conversation down the line that you can slip that in there, like, well, you know, you did show me your porn history. None of them girls look like me, But I think it's kind of weird that you really want some of them bitches to
look like you. Like I that's crazy, because I would. I would. Yeah, it's porn. It's for imagination, it's for you know, I don't know. Yeah, So I think that you should definitely keep that line of communication open and be honest. Since y'all were on and off for six years and now that you're twenty four, which is still young, but you have to know this person inside and out. I mean, six years ain't a little bit of time.
So if y'all gonna grow apart or y'all gonna like strengthen y'all bond and be able to talk about difficult conversations like this, because baby, you ain't say nothing yet because shit gets difficult in relationships, you know, and especially merges. So get iron off all these kinks right now and talk to him about it, and then update me and let me know a little back. Sure, all right? So nocuse she talking like she got a little ass? Should them little bus be maddering? They be throwing it bad?
But up, hold up, I know the shit getting good. But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen.
All right.
So we have another one.
I met my current boyfriend in college. We were eighteen and good friends even though we had feelings for each other. Finally he asked me to be his girlfriend when I was twenty three and he was twenty four. We are now twenty six and twenty seven. For the first two years, I constantly call him. Talking to girls on social media taking them out on dates is basically pertaining. He was single, even though we lived together and he came home every night.
I'm always checking his phone, watching him flirt, looking up OnlyFans, et cetera. On top of that, his best friend is a girl who is extremely gorgeous, and they seem to have so much more in common. I've always felt that maybe she friend zoned him in college, and maybe he settled for me, even though she has done a lot to try to be my friend too. My pride makes it hard fast forward. I let my crazy self get pregnant,
and now we have an eight month old. My entire pregnancy and even now, he was great and attentive, but I still occasionally see him flirting online. He's a great father and brought us a beautiful home, and now says he wants to marry me, even though we have talked about the past plenty of times. He says he was immature, selfish, and just plain horny. Sometimes a part of me will always wonder if he's not satisfied, it will continue to cheat by the way he says, social media doesn't count
men like this. Do I try to keep building my family or do I walk away?
Please? Please offer advice. I promise I can take it.
I've made too many rash decisions in life and now just want to make the right choice for my son and I.
Well, it's about time that you want to make great decisions. Because baby, for the first couple of years, you have built the case against this man. Why are you sitting back watching him do every fucking thing, commit all these relationship crimes? God damn like you set and watch some flirt, you setting while you set back and watch this and watch that and watch that. Never gave him any real consequence.
So of course, of course, now I'm not saying he don't love you, but he loved his freedom as well, because look, he obviously do what the fuck you want to do now. He had to grow up, which I don't know if the baby had a lot to do with that or you sticking around and him seeing like, oh no, she's stuck with me through all of this and a lot of shit. You probably don't even know because you told me what you do know, But imagine what you don't. You get what I'm saying, and you
haven't been happy all this time. Yes, your kudos for him for being super intensive and loving and passionate while you're pregnant. That's the least he could have fucking done after cheating on you up until this time, probably during this time, but he just knew how to clean it up a little bit better while you were pregnant because you needed extra attention. Every woman needs that extra attention
from her man when she's with child. You get what I'm saying now, you gave birth, y'all have an eight month old baby girl? Absolutely, you motherfucking right, you know what I mean? Like, I know, you can say you so many you can say that you need the advice. Now he's telling you he wants to marry you. And first of all, I don't like what he said. Social media don't count. Excuse me, why the fuck doesn't it? Social media? Do you realize that social media makes people
so much more accessible now than ever before? Remember, like, yo, you can DM a fucking celebrity and it's a one hundred percent chance that they'll see it. It's not a one hundred percent chance that they'll respond, but they can see it if you can get to your favorite rapper and a fucking DM and get fucked on a Tuesday night, you know, and ran out on on a fucking Wednesday
I never did that. I just you know, I know it sounds very personal, but I'm just saying, if you can do that, if you get like, jump in somebody fucking DM and be responded to and like and be seen, what the fuck makes him think? Social media don't matter,
It don't count. Yes, it does. You flirt openly, and when you're flirting and you know you're in a relationship and you're like openly communicating with other women and flirting and shit, you looking for something to come back because if somebody asks you, if you flirt a little bit too much, somebody asks you to see them, what the fuck you're gonna be like, No, I just do this for fine, I'm now you're going to meet up with a bitch after some point in the time of y'all
flirting online, because nobody just flirt for fun. So I'm gonna I do sometimes. But nobody just flirts for fun besides me. So no, for real, yo, not for real, because sometimes you know, I just be like, yeah, everyone flirts, but like, but what men, I don't know. I don't know, because if you give them, if you give a man a little bit too much attention, he gonna take you up on an offer. Oh he's gonna offer you something,
you know what I'm saying. And you know, it's just a bunch of different type of women on social media. We got the thirsty bitches, you know, the bitches that set niggas up, the bitches who know that these men not times out of sending maybe in a relationship, and they don't give a fuck if we got listen, this is the days and times of I'm okay with being a side bitch. It's okay, you know what I'm saying. I've never seen so many women okay with being a
side piece. You know that means no attashed me. The nigga can't tell them what to do too much. They'll they get they reap the benefits. Like it's like they promoted these days, like it's more beneficial to be a side bitch than to be a main bitch. You get what I'm saying. Not calling you a bitch, but I just don't know your name. So that's the thing. You have a now eight month old, it's really really not too I know how you could probably feel like, oh my god, it's too late. I already got a baby
by him. I'm supposed to marry him. Don't feel like that either. It's okay, you have a beautiful son. And then she said he was a good dad. Yeah, he's a great dad. I could see if he was a deadbie, you know, then it'll be like, okay, you know, but it's easier that you guys and cole parents or he brought her, oh he bought them a home. Okay, you know, take it back the fuck like, if you're not, none
of this shit is worth your sanity. If you love me, you'll listen to this commercial and then we'll be right back forcing yourself to be in a relationship when you always got that in the back of your mind that he may be cheating and he maybe he didn't grow up, maybe he didn't mature like he told you that he did. If you're going to live like that, I'm telling you you're gonna end up miserable and regretful. You're gonna end up hating him, resentful, like I hate this, I hate
what I've done to myself. You did she say how who she was?
She's twenty six?
Now twenty six, you know you got four years until your fourth decade of life. Baby, that's when you want your thirties, like, but.
They have I don't know.
I think, what do you think?
I think that she's over react. I do want to say react.
Excuse me, but listen, because now fast forward, he brought her home like he's a good father and everything else.
She is in her mind thinking like what if he's still doing this senator their therapy.
Yeah, but they say they talked about the past plenty of times. That's why talking about it. So yeah, I don't I think that's alive in her head.
But then also social media don't count.
No, he's wrong for that. And she said that he still sees she still sees him.
Yeah, like she a little bit, but somebody it's nothing like before.
Yeah, that's what that's what I.
And then the goddamn best friend, this girl that built the case against everyone.
That's the best friend saying it, she said, but.
She's extremely beautiful. He seems like why she's at insecure?
Say that.
Don't try to like hote it because she's gonna hear you anyway.
She seems a little insecure.
Yeah, her even talking about the friend like she's really gorgeous.
How come they're not together? You know what I mean?
Like she may have a whole scenario on her head.
I think questions to ask.
It's a whole scenario in her head, like he may have she may have curved him and put him in a friend zone in college. And then you know what I'm saying, because that, yeah, because that does happen. However, they may not be their case. Hmmm. So what you think she should do? You think she should? I mean, and he also sold her, he wants to marry her married, maybe he wants to settle down and stop sheating. Now
that's why I said one or two things. He either knows that she ain't gonna ever leave him because of all the ship that he's done in the past, and you haven't left them then, because y'all ain't on and off again, y'all y'all been on the whole time. Or he did really grow up, like Yo, shorty stuck with me through this ship and I don't want the games no more. She gave me my first child. I want to marry her, I want a family. I'm done playing Like that could be the case. I mean, I still
stand on what I said. If she's gonna sit there and be like it's in the back of my mind it's in the back of my mind, insecure or not. She can't go through with no marriage or nothing because she gonna end up resenting him.
And he even admitted saying that he was immature, you selfish, he was horny, like like.
I was just.
Talks about it. He saw a bunch of times and yeah, so it is.
One of the things is like, do you want to deal.
With it or And I don't know. And I'm not even telling you to like let go of the past.
I'm just saying, yeah, I.
Mean you you could, and you could, you could let go of the past. You know what I'm saying. At some point you have to you can't keep living with it.
Yeah, But I'm saying it's not because I feel like if I was in that situation.
Don't forget, but forgive it if if you're gonna stay.
Yeah, but I know myself.
And then what she yeahs what I'm saying, And then what she means flirting? What's flirting to you?
Like?
What has flirting to you? Because flirting can mean a bunch of different things, like liking liking pictures of big booty bitches. You know, you just said a baby a months ago, so you probably got a little kangaroo pouch. And you know what, I'm not saying you do. I'm just saying, you know, she goes.
Through this phone, so she don't know.
Maybe because to me, liking pictures isn't a big deal to me, Like in the DM if he's like yeah.
Or leaving comments even like herd eye emoji and shit or heart emojis, Like, I.
Don't know, it's not necessary.
Yeah, it's not. But either way, I think you should update me and let me know what's going on, because I don't. I'm not gonna see him say I feel sorry for you, because I don't. You're not in the worst predicament ever. Like girl, I'll be fixing people masks who niggas punching them in the eye. So you know what, girl, No people people get fucking punched girl for going through Nigga's phones. And he just said, hey, I just let you go through it, you know, So you're not no
worse You're not no worse predicament. However, I think you need to confront yourself at the end of the day and written, you know, get to the bottom of whether it is an insecurity that has developed over time with you being with him, and you can't let go of the past and shit, because that's where therapy comes in. Like you got to confront that yourself, rather than going through his phone, because like this seems like a routine, Like she go through his phone all time. They constantly
bringing up the past and they'll talk about it. She'll probably get over it for a few but every time you lead a house, she wondering where you going. Every time you're on social media, she you know, oh my gosh, I wonder if he's looking at pictures of such and such or in his dms.
If you are anxious.
That's also the thing, yeah, because he get you know, do you want to be married? You want to be with him? Does the part of you feel like y'all can get past this shit? You know what I'm saying. Because if so, y'all just got to do that work. That's it. Like I told the first girl who sent me the story her story, relationships are not easy, and listen, y'all, marriage is not easy either. Obviously, marriage is even harder than a relationship. So iron out your kinks right now
before you get there. Because being a wife, that's a whole duty, that is a full time job. Now, a lot of people get caught up in with the wedding going to be like but after all them people go home and talk about y'all and how better your wedding could have been. Bit y'all married now, so prepare for the marriage and not the fucking wedding. You get what
I'm saying. But if nobody ever told y'all two ladies who sent me stories, I love y'all or they love y'all, just no, I do, And thank you for being vulnerable enough to expose your stories to me so I can give you guys advice as best as I can and say thank you, my girl sailor. I know, y'all, I can't het y'all, but say thank you, sailor thank y'all. No, I told them to say thank you to you. No, Mom, we gonna try togain next week. It's sorry, all right, y'all.
I'll see y'all next week. Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.