Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio and the Black Effect. I still a nice still aspect, I still aspect, nice still ask still still, and I'm back with another Carefully Reckless episode. It is your girl, just hilarry, guess and listen. I got my sister back. I told her she was coming back. Say I'm here again, y'all, all right, so listen. She didn't know that I was
gonna do this, but I usually do story time. And then I asked you all questions, and you know, I get you all feedback and all that ship, but we're gonna jump straight into this right here. I ain't even letting her know what the topic is. One day, like my sister was dating this guy, right, everything was cool. You know. He got close with my niece, my nephew, my and the reason why I say I have two nieces, but nobody ever gets close to the middle baby. Like
my middle baby is Zoe. She's two. We ourselves. You don't funk with nobody but herself, and that's what it is. Um. He got close to my younger, my youngest niece. You know, she's very impressionable. She reminds me of myself and Rudy Huxable. So like baby Nugget is very just just oh my god, that's a kid that you want to be around, like yes,
like lovy and clingy. Yes. So she actually was really really like close with him, like she was cool, and he was coming around a lot doing everything, right, I'm talking about this nigga was like doing house chores. He still had a job and everything, but he would like come over to my sister's house and like take care of the house and put the kids, help and put the kids down and everything right. And we talk about, yeah, I'm straight out because yeah, since we we know for
putting each other out there like that. Um. Yeah. So so one particular day and then they were dealing with each other for like like months, you know, like this was like four like for or five months or five months maybe, Yeah, And one particular day, like I got close to him, to you, like, I started calling him brother. You know how it is when your sister dates or your brother dates you, you you adopt the person that they're working with, you know what I mean. So I
was calling them bro. He had called me one day and he was like, yo, I have um something serious to tell you, and I'm like, yo, what's up? You good? You know? And he was like yeah, like it's it's not regular, So you need to call me when you and I was out somewhere and so I was like, he was like, you call me when you're you're away. I'm like, yo, and you know what that is. But when I feel like somebody got some tea like that, like you can't tell me wherever I'm at. I need
to be sitting down and all that ship. I'm gonna leave wherever man, I don't give an Well. I was with like a nigger too and something. He had some money child, but I said, okay, somethee. So I went in the house and um, I called him and he before that he texts you remember he had texted you because you told him you was busy. He was like just text me or something. Yeah, but he was like
I couln't. I can't text you like this. And I told him to call me and I was out, so he was like, no, this ain't nothing that I can you know what I mean? So I went home and I called him and I was like, yo, what's up. He was like, I'm gonna call you. Want to get off. I'm like, damn, I could have stayed with the nigga. So he he ended up calling me later and ship and he was like, yo, so I don't know why
I feel this way. I don't know why I'm even this way, but like I have like feelings for niggas, like and I'm like saying, you know, he said he has a urge urge for yes every once in a while, That's what he said. Yeah, so but he texts that. Remember, no, he didn't text it right now, Yes he did because he had just made the screenshots. Oh, Ship, all right with it? Maybe now now, I'm sorry, y'all, this is like a good screen how many years ago? This was
like years and years ago? Okay, all right, so this is five years ago, y'all. I'm sorry. You definitely had the screenshots. Remember, he was like, oh, she made him up. He was like, I don't even feel like like, I don't make up screens shots. Now. I might make a fake page and and harass your motherer, but I ain't gonna make up some screenshots now. I didn't even know how to do that back non or whatever. So his
ass had admitted to me that he was bisexual. You know, he said, I just have these feelings for men, but not just any men. I have a thing like a fetish for trannies. And I'm like what he said, Yeah, like I'm attracted the trans and then get dumbass, was like, so like you like the ones that had the surgery or the ones that still got the dicks? Y? Yeah you are you are you attracted the transsexuals or transgender?
My my mother? You know what I'm saying that he was like, he said, he said, um, this nigga gonna say if they had the surgery, I might as well just be with a woman. He was like, if they are transgender, Yeah, like if they had the surgery to have a pussy, then that might as well just be you know, straight, always straight, and just with a girl. And I'm saying with this dumb girl, she's gonna say so like what you do with to dick? Like yeah,
like what do you do? You know? So I'm trying to get you know, and this is five years ago. I was not as mature as I am now, and ship and I you know, and I'm just like yo, I mean I just couldn't believe what I was hearing him, Like, Yo, my sister's boyfriend is telling that he is attracted to men as well as my sister, and I'm just like, yo, okay. So after we got past all that, you know, the hooplah of it all, I was like, okay, are you going to tell her? And he was like, hell yeah yo,
but I just had to tell you first. I'm like, okay, well, what the funk made you tell me and not your girlfriend first? You know, he was just like, what the funk you mean? That bit should killed me? And listen, this ain't only five years later of maturity for me. This is five years of whosa for her too, Because my sister, of our shade is she used to be
very temperamental. She was like, you know what I mean, it is what it is, Dr Jacko and Mr had Honey, that's who she Yes, yes, she definitely I calmed down. Was a diagnosed schizophrenic. All right. Only two people lived in my band. I thought it was a bunch, but you know, because I know more than anybody, and I
swear as more than two. But you know, she was a diagnosed bipolar patient and she would show these you know, certain triggers would get her going, and he was afraid to tell her, and of course rightfully, so I do understand. So I was like, yo, I'm gonna give you some time to tell her, because he was just like, Yo, I want to tell her, but I'm not gonna tell he like tonight, I'm like when you need to tell her because you just told her little sister and my
loyalty is to her. And also, this ain't just ain't this ain't no regular ship. You feel me like, are you having sex with these you know men? And he's like, yeah, I am too. I'm like, yo, because you are having sex with my sister. You're in an act of a sexually active relationship with my sister, Nigga. This ain't no stranger nothing like I don't know her through you, ni, I know you through her. So she's the most important to me, you know. And so he was honest about everything.
He was like, yes, I do have sex with men, and I'm like, okay, when's the last time? And he was like like he started a little bit, like I mean like he stopped a little bit, he paused, and he didn't want to tell me, but he it was more recent than the fund it should have been, you know, and it was in the earlier stages of him dating my sister, and um, he was telling me like he's basically like since he like really really got a fishal and realized that he fell in love with my sister,
that he's tried to fight these urges off. It doesn't work. Their research and it's like men all around the world that deal with the same thing. Yeah, yeah, and I'm just like listening, Yeah, we know that, but I'm responsible for my sister. That's it, you know what I'm saying. You're not all the men around the world. You're one man that's dealing with you know, this problem or you know. And it was a problem for him because that's that's why. And then the reason why it was a problem for
me is because you're not giving her a choice. You know, you knew you had these feelings from men you knew. And although coming out is not an easy process, you're still being selfish. Like you're still being selfish, you know, and and and always I don't give a funk you're being selfish. Um, because she has the right to know that she's fucking a guy who Fox guys. So he
was like, yo, just give me like a day. I said, all right, that means You're gonna tell her tomorrow, right, And he was like yeah, yeah, yah, yeah, I'm gonna telling when I get off tomorrow or whatever. Can you be there. I'm like how yeah? He was like yeah, because I know she's gonna start swinging, she's gonna go to fuck off, she's gonna go crazy. Please. So next day came and now imagine me as a little sister,
like I talked to this girl every fucking day. I'm with her all day every day, and it's like, um so, now I feel bad because I'm hiding something like but I'm not really hiding. I'm waiting for this nigga to do what the fun he said he was gonna do this nigga gets off work, I'm calling him to see what the funk going on? Hain't answering. I called my sister, Hey, Yo, is Yo there? She like, no, he ain't come over. Yeah, I ain't really talked to him today. Oh why so
you're chickening out now pretty much? And so I kept blowing his sucking phone up, I said yo, And I finally text him. I said, Yo, I'm ready to tell him. That's when he called me back. He was like, Yo, this ship is not easy. I need for you to understand you. This ship is not easy. Can I tell her tomorrow? What did I let him stow it again? Like he was like, no, nigga, like no, like said yeah, yeah, yeah,
I was gonna say. I don't remember if I gave him another day, but I definitely gave him that one day when he asked me the first time. But it's like, nah, y'all, I don't know what the fun going on. So I told her, first of all, you begged me not to go off, like yo, please do not go off on this nigga because he is scared. He is scared of you, like, do not go off on him. I'm like, like, I
ain't gonna go off. I ain't gonna go off. So he finally and you thought it was another bit the whole time you thought I already telling you something about Then you're sitting there saying that. So the maturity and meat had to kick in and I had to be like, all right, you know what, I can't go off on this nigga because I need to. I need to make sure his health is good. Yeah that right there, and then him saying that he wasn't you know fully protecting himself.
Did admit. He did admit because I did ask him, my bay, y' all. So I asked him, I said, yo, um, now, if you just had sex with a guy two or three months ago, did you use protection? And he was like, that's when I knew. I was like, all right, well no, he said, sometimes you do. Sometimes. Yeah, he did tell me sometimes you use it, sometimes you know, sometimes you don't. But he did admit that he did not use protection with that last dude. And so I'm like, yo, what
the funk? That's what had me upset. So that's why he was like, Yo, I'm gonna I promise, I'm gonna tell her. I just need you to be there. So now back fast forward. I told my sister what the fun was happening. She had to collect herself. She really did, um like it was that that day. I would never
forget that day. That day was so heart wrenching for her because all the things that are going through her mind are just tearing her apart because it's like, yo, like she couldn't breathe when I told her, like it was just like yo. And then imagine having to tell your loved one some ship like that. You know, So of course she started blowing up his phone sending the messages and ship and he already knew that I told her by then. So of course this nigga calls me
from another phone like, YO, you fucking told her? Remember he asked me some type of way. He was like, YO, you told her already or something like that, and I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, you didn't, and you were fucking ignoring me, Like what the funk you mean? I told you I would have to tell her. You could have told your little sister. Motherfucker, you told her little sister, her girlfriend's little sister. So just imagine the pressure I was failing, the position I was put in. And yeah,
that's how the fun that ship with. I had to collect myself before I actually got to like really reach out reach out to him. And when I reached out to him, I was just like, hey, my sister told me. You know what you talked to her about. I ain't trying to argue, I ain't trying to fuss. I want to come pick you up from working when you get all work in the morning. I want us to go to the clinic. When is the last time you've been tested? I want to see some results. I want to get
tested together. Even if something is going on with me, I won't know, but at least I can see what your results is. And I'm going to continue to get myself tested, you know you periodically, because that's how it works, exactly. It just doesn't show up. It don't show it that that ship just won't show up sometime. Yeah, he agreed. He agreed to go and get tested with me the next morning because he worked overnight. He worked overnight shift,
and he agreed to go with me. So I go to his job because I knew what time he got off work, because I've been dealing with him for a few months. Um. I went to his job. I'm sitting out there in the parking lot. I see people walking out and I'm like, well, maybe he ain't. You know, he ain't come out yet. So I saw a familiar face one of his co workers that I've I've given a ride to before, and I'm like, hey, um, such and such is he still like that? Oh? He left
last night? He said he had an emergency. I'm like, oh, worry, okay, So I called his phone, go straight to voicemail. I'm blocked. I go on Facebook, I'm blocked. I go on Instagram, I'm blocked. I'm like, oh sorry. So I made a page and it's the first time I ever made just a page. I mean, I was famous for doing like I mean, and granted I wouldn't say it was a fake page. I just made a page real quick, just so I could reach out to him, and I told
him like, hey, like, what's what's uping? Like where you at? Like you, I feel like you're trying to duck me out. He just like, just just leave me alone. I'm like, leave you alone, nigga. We we got obligations, like we got to go to to the clinics so we can see what's going on. Like now, now you're scaring me because I feel like you're trying to hide something, Like what then is going on with you? Is this something that you know about you that you don't want me
to know about you? Like what is going on? So I'm like, look, he like, leave me alone, Leave me alone. I like looking you don't say something like I'm gonna put you out there like you Yeah, now you're playing with me like a game. I came at you calm, I came at you very civilized, I came at you like an adult when I really wanted to go off.
I was so shocked and how you handled it, because like, even even though I told him that I wanted to be there when he told you, I really didn't because like, honestly, she would have sucked both of us up. You understand what I'm saying. So like I really wanted was like what So that's why I say, yo, like I know I would have got nigga. So I was like really
scared to fucking be there as well. That's why I was like, I'm glad I got to tell it, because like, no, she would have never forgave me for knowing and just not saying anything. Hold up, hold up, I know the ship getting good, but listen to just a couple of seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, so you said, um, he was like, leave leave me alone, basically like he obviously did not want to see what the was going on with him
if he already didn't know what. Yeah, So I started reaching out of the bitches that I knew that he didn't sucked in the past. I'm like, hey, you know this nigga. Niggas and they're like what. I'm like, look, I don't know what you know, but I'm telling you this because you know, I want you to get checked because I'm gonna go get checked. And y'all was dealing with him before I was dealing with him, So like, when y'all get checked, let me know what y'all papers say.
Because I'm new to this. Y'all the been there, like I need to know. Like he playing, it became a whole situation where he was like, oh, they're lying, they're lying, they're lying, and him, Yeah, I got him in a Facebook group. Remember the guy that ran the Facebook group? Um well, A couple of the guys that ran the Facebook was like, um well, she shortly says she got receipts talking about you. Shortly says she got receipts. They're
gonna go live going through her phone. We went live going through just and see this is his number right here, by bye, this is his number, he's saying right here.
Sometimes I get the urge to blah blah blah. And then you touched on the fact that the transgender that used to do your head front she wrew awesome head solace and everything like that and he was in her damn DNA and she's very popular people, very And it's crazy because I actually, and I just I had a whole flashback of while him and I would lay in my bed one day and I'm like, yo, look at this person right here. I showed him um Lucy papers, and I was like, I was look at this person,
and he was like, damn, she looked good. I was just like, um, you know, um, you know she she was born a boy. He was like what, I can't even tell. I was like, I know, she looked good at ship. The whole time, he already been following Lucy, been following Mercy, and Lucy is a bad you know for y'all to know, you know, who bought them? Are his own? Like definitely, he already knew who she was. He knew who she us and come to find out he was following he had a vest selection of trans
What does it trans? Transgender means that they had this, I mean, so, so is it considered? I mean, because you know it's it's real specific trans woman and trans man. So which would it be trans woman because you're trying trying to transition into a woman, would be a trans woman okay, And so that's when you first called onto it. So after he told you what he told you, then I realized that he was following a lot of trans woman So that so that, oh so that made you
think back. You started get back to a lot of ships. Remember that time you had told me. He was like,
oh my god, that explains why he be moaning. He'd be like, shame, he shame moaning her name, Like ya wanted this dick suck from the bag, Like I ain't saying that's gay, but he wanted me to suck his dick from the bag, and his but was a little hurt and like took my nose almost sneezed at his ass like it was my god, and that right would it felt real good to him sneezing the ness like you know that gust of winding Let you know what I mean that probably feeling don't don't go sneeze in
the n assholes. We were going through the phone and then we were fucking quote unquote monsters to everyone. They felt like we were being Internet bullies, like we were being Internet bullies. Like I'm not being an Internet bully. We are not being Internet bullies. I tried to reconcile with this man. I tried to get him too. I came to him calmly, calm, cool and collected. I came to him calm, cool and collect, and I just wanted to just get checked out. He did not want to
get checked out, Like are you scared? Like at this point, like now, nigger, I have to put you out there. And and he kept telling people I was mine, So that made me and I'm like, oh, no, funk, no, you know, And like I said, y'all, keep in mind, this is five years ago. I was way less mature. I was like hitting for the belt, nigger, I mean hitting below the belt because this nigga was like really
acting like he hadn't just told me that. And I'm like, Yo, this ship don't even gonna be like this, you motherfucker, Why would you do that? Like he had my sister fighting behind this ship and everything. He literally I'm sitting at this little little restaurant bar lounge that you know, it was like like a neighborhood cheers or whatever. I'm sitting there. I had these two girls walk up on me like hey, you ain't v and I'm like, I got a chicken wing in my fing between my fingers,
like you're sucking it up. I ain't need get a chance to suck it up. That was the first wing, and they up on me. When I had the first wing in my hand, I'm like between my finger you know, I love the drumsticks, so I had a little drumstick in my hand, like you know, and I'm like, yeah, you know, that's that's my name. Like I'm looking at them, not sizing them up, but just looking at him, like do I know, y'all? Do know? This girl was like
these these faces were totally unfamiliar. Like the one girl was like, yeah, I would drag you, but I like coming head. I was like, well, I like coming here too. We can go on the park a lot. She was a big bitch. I wasn't you woke up to maybe like I would like dragging you, but I like coming ahead, bitch, So why the fund is you even overhere? Like I guess she was trying to be intimidating. I don't want to let you know. She did, and like I guess
trying to trying to scare me. But I'm just like, look, we can go. I was like a little bad baby, catch me outside there. You girl. And so we went outside and like I said, she was big and I wasn't that small, and that ship was like a fucking I swear it looked like a fucking SMO wrestling match or something because it really wasn't even a fight. It was like like I hit a few times and I guess she was trying to hit me. I don't know it was she was drunk. I wasn't. It was. It
was just a mess. And then I'm sitting there trying to figure out, like, why is all of this happening? Like at the same time I'm doing all it's like, wait, why the fund is this even going on? Why is this going on? Come to find out it was him that's sent her because he was hiding out at her house. Yeah, but remember he had said that ship. Oh I didn't know that he was hiding out to her. But remember he was like, um, them bitches lying, they're fucking lying.
There don't know. People get killed for that type of ship. That's why I'm gonna have my cousin slapped the shut out of Oh. Yeah. He was saying, gonna put money on your head, and he was like, nigga, what money? You don't even have no fucking money. This is the thing all kids and Ship. There's no no more child I'm talking about. He was man. We he said, we got him put out of his house. He was living
with one of his homeboys, and Ship. We kept coming over there like no, Yo, you need to go to the doctor's like you And the bucking cousin was like, Yo, look you gotta get the funk out on rom and Yo, you you gotta go. I don't know what you got going on, nigga saying you're gay and ship, Like I don't really even kid if you're gat not you just
got a lot of drama. I want you out. So people go on line and say little shit or you know, he would have other people saying ship for him, and I'm telling you, I'm like, oh, like where you cannot win the internet battle, not with me, not five years ago, not now. You can't. You just it's such a class back.
Just can't do that ship, especially if you line like and I got receipts, like, cannot do that, Like Yo, it don't even got I kept saying that, like you don't even gotta be like they didn't even have to be like this, like you fucking lied. You just didn't, you know. So all of that ship happened, and then this nigga ends up married to that he is married. He married this girl I went to school high school with.
And I asked one of my friends, I'm like, yo, he married such and such, Like you think I should say something? He was like, I think you just need to mind your business because you know, already went through enough ship with that situation. And I was just like, I'm glad you told me that. I feel like that's the best advice you ever gave me, because I felt like me and her aren't close or nothing like that,
but we spoke. We weren't in the same class. She was in a class under me, and we and we used to be you know, social media friends and stuff like that, and I felt like we were, you know, cool enough where I could tell her something like that. But you know, like my friend that I asked if I should tell her. They were just like, you know, she may think you hate no, may thank you lying, or they think you'll be messy or whatever. So I was just like, yeah, I'm glad you said to leave it.
You don't know, you know, you're not Right're not close so she could just think that, you know, because the first thing she's gonna do is show him, right, and he's gonna tell her what he wants, you know what I mean. So and then no times i'd have send somebody already told him. And that was a big that
was big. It was a real big. But then I felt like, ohso, like if you weren't in that, even though it was big, it was big, and the certain it wasn't big like all, it didn't go yeah, it wasn't viral or now if you was as big as you were, yeah back then now have been yeah, oh yeah, if you're saying that, if I was as big as I him now back then, then oh yeah, because I don't even think I don't even think Tara had recognized you yet, because that's when really stuff really started taking
off of you, when Tara Tara from Love and Hip Hop, Yeah yeah, yeah, that's when it was just like, was like this girl first started doing just with the mess. Yeah I was, and I was only doing it on the reality show. I was doing just the Mess on reality TV, not all start everything, yeah, not on everything, Like it was mainly just literally off the love of hip hop. Yeah, yeah, I was, I was, I started doing just with the mess, just on love and hip hop. Okay, yeah,
so yeah damn. So if you can give anybody any type of advice or you know, give drop a gym to women based off that experience you had, was this the nis everywhere? Yo? Yo, I hate you just d It's like, no, but now I don't even have any advice for the women. I have advice for the men. Do not take it upon yourself. Guys, I'm not knocking you. If you feel this way. If this is something that you like to do, so be it. Let your partner, let the woman you're dating, let whoever you're fucking with,
male or female, let them know. Let it be their decision if they want to deal with you. And you like to do those things. For motherfucker loves to have threesomes and they don't tell me this going into a relationship that they love to have threesomes like I don't. I don't like to do. So I feel like that's something like you need to be upfront with with certain things, and that is one thing that you most definitely need
to be upfront with your sexuality. Sexuality is a big piece that you need to be upfront with when dealing with someone, when getting to know someone, dating whatever. It is a very big piece, a very valuable fact piece that needs to be discussed now. If it would have been a thing where, you know, with him and I
started talking, he's just like, oh, you know, Shay. You know, every once in a while, I like the I like the funk with trains out have been like, Okay, I ain't knocking you, but I don't want to deal with you because I'm not into that kind of thing. I wouldn't have knocked nothing. We could have been cool because he was a cool mother. He was a cool dude. He really was. He did he had great things about him. He was really good with kids. Should have been great.
And I am just remembering to this day that he had a bunch of kids. Yeah, but he was always real yours. I know, we never seen his Yeah I've seen here a couple of times, but it was I've never seen Yeah, it wasn't. I don't think, um, I was really around his kids like that because when he was around his kids, you know, you know, some people, UM, like other baby mothers don't really want the kids around
other And I get it. I get I'm like, so it was just like yeah, I get it, but um, yeah, he definitely had um a few I actually um I saw him probably like back in because he was um when I was. But he still lives next door to this guy that um him and his wife lived next door to this guy that I was dating, what the fund. So he was taking the trash out one day and I'm walking up the steps and I look up and he looked down and saw me, and he froze up like he saw a damn go listen, listen. I've seen
him at the fucking mall one day. I seen him at mom Dumb And this was like like two years ago maybe or something like that, like maybe like two or three years ago. Minus is like it's abou to be yet only too so like yeah, I've seen him nineteen or something like that. And he was in a moment he like stopped like oh ship, you know how like the whole body get hot, and yeah, he froze like, oh ship, I know I ain't about to see this bitch.
I just waved at him like yeah, I was like, hey, I dona gave a little white people smile when they are talking. Yeah, like and I'm like, all right, move on the way. So I walk up the steps tight and Ship real sorry, but all right, So did you tell the nigga he knew about it? Okay, so he didn't know about this, Yeah, he knew about it because he happened to see it in that circle. So that guy already knew about it. And I was like, yo, you ain't telling me. He was like, yeah, I mean
what you want me to say, right right? Ain't nothing that you know he could do with Ship. And I'm pretty sure that he's not the only man um that is battling you know, his you know, sexuality and you know demons that come with and the demons are not being able to you know, living your truth, and you you are and you're trying to fight it, and it's like, yo, like no, that's when it becomes a demon. But if you basically, what she's saying is so I clear to something, y'all,
y'all try to cancel her again. She's not saying that homosexuality is a demon. She's just saying when you're trying to hide it is when it's it seems like it's a demon. Ya, you're fighting it like you're you're you're fighting yourself, you know, and that and that's what spiritual warfare is like. When you fight with yourself, you fight with like you know who you are. You know when it's much easier to just walk in your truth and be who you are. You know what I'm saying, And
then it don't matter who the funk accepts you. You know what you don't like. You're not supposed to be looking for acceptance by people anyway, looking for validation from other people anyway. I know that it may seem like it'll make your life easier to be accepted, but honestly, who the funk wants to fit in this funk up as world? So we're gonna end it on that note, say bias, peace out, and don't be judging my sense. But her name is Lady of Rage. What I or Instagram?
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