Baby's Mom vs. Daddy's Girlfriend

family know how to partty. We know how to have fun on the holidays, and we like to set our own trends. I hope all is well with everybody. I wish everybody the best of times, as we are in a very trying season right now, a lot of people are going through things. Before I start the episode, I want to take the time and just tell everybody you know, you are not alone in your season of need. You are not alone in your season of trial and tribulation.

You are not alone in your season of loneliness. You are not alone in your season of anti like You're not alone. You guys are not alone. I don't want anybody to ever make the mistake of thinking that they are alone. Right now, I'm even going through shit. You understand what I'm saying. And while everybody's problems are not financial, people are still having problems. Everybody's problem is not mental illness. You know your mental health depleting. Everybody doesn't have the

same issues. However, we're all struggling with something and that's what we have in common. And that's where we can kind of look at each other and say, I got you. You know what I'm saying. Even if I can't give you exactly what you need to help you sore or flourish. We're all going through something, so we can all meet each other at that level of humility, you know what I mean, and strive for greatness together, you know what I'm saying, because that's where we all can relate. Love you, guys.

Hope all is well, man, just I really really do hope all is well, or hope all gets better. Let's just say that, because I know all isn't well with everyone. You know, I hope all gets better, man, prayerfully all gets better. All right, we're gonna jump right in. This is a long, long, long, long PDF, but they actually took the time to compose this message the right way. I'm sorry, I'm seeing punctuation marks and everything. Look somebody

passed English with flying colors. All right, here we go. Okay, this is long. Please fix my mask or I'm going to jail. Bitch, Do you want me in prison? The fuck? Uh? No, I don't. I got into an argument with my son's father's girlfriend on Facebook. Okay, so you baby for have a girlfriend? All right? Cool? Within the argument, she said that's why she spends more time with my son's father than he does with his son. Also, her friend chimed in and said, what he don't do for my son?

Who flexes about a man not taking care of his son? Right, especially if you're the friend of the bitch that he with. That'll make sense unless that girlfriend is doing some talking, because how else would her homegirl know that? Right? Let's fast forward to the fourth of July. I popped up to get my son and the girl was there. I never said anything to her directly, but I was disrespectful, saying things like why do you have this bitch around my son? Etc. I met up with my son's father

after that. He apologized and said he was wrong. So from July ninth to August twenty sixth, never heard from the man again. He called me August twenty sixth. Okay, so that was about six weeks all right. He called me August twenty sixth and asked if he can get my son. I said no because he hadn't reached out in over six weeks. Listen, I'm a mathematician. Okay, I said six weeks and she goes. She followed up in the next progres she said it was six weeks okay.

Now here is September. The girlfriend kicked him out. Oh, so he was living with her. He's asking me for money and to sleep on my couch. I said no and try to be cool with him. My son had a party September thirtieth. He didn't come to the party, nor did he get him a gift. Okay, so I'm guessing it was his birthday, and yes he was invited. I cussed his ball headed ass out again. Now Here is October seventeenth. He texted, I want to see my son.

I told him take me to court. Now November seventeenth comes. I got a new job. It'll be working every other weekend. So I reached out and asked if he can babysit for me. He said, yes, babysitting his own son. It ain't babysitting if it's a child booth. I asked him where he will have the baby. Then he replied, where I fucking pay bills. Mind y'all, he ain't done shit for my son since April, but you're paying big bills child support. Ho. M okay, I know you talking shit.

I'm getting to the point now. I ain't talk my shit yet. I got some shit to talk to you, though. So I told him I really need him to start getting the baby. All I need from him is to introduce me to his girlfriend the correct way. He said no, because he's still mad I violated her in front of his old family. Okay, so it's the same girlfriend. Okay, he went back to her. Mind you I am one hundred pounds soaking wet, that's why you so goddamn angry

little self, and she's about five hundred pounds. Damn. Hold up, and that's me being nice. Hey Yo. Anyways, So I said, my baby not going over there until we can have a conversation. He said that I just wanted to have control over the situation and that our time to have a convo will come so should I let the baby go without me having a conversation with the girl, because I feel any bitch that mentioned a kid in an argument don't need to be around the kid. Okay, I

can see how you feel like that. Also, if she feels the way toward me, why the fuck that she needs to be around my kid because she's his father's girlfriend. Fix my fucking messages. Whatever you say, I'm gonna listen. Thank you so much for reading, and sorry for the grammar errors I didn't proofread. Shaking my head, I know it's long. Sorry well for you not to have proof read. You did better than half the motherfuckers that write me. Girl.

I love that you broke up your sentences and shit, you broke up the little paragraphs and all of that, and you did well, and there weren't many grammatical errors. I must say, all right, let's get into your mess Hold up, hold up, I know the shit getting good, But listen to just a couple seconds of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Girl. Since she said you're gonna listen to everything, I will tell you you

do sound better. You do. I'm not gonna call you better because I don't know you I don't know every little thing that you guys go through. Again, you're just giving me the basics of the story and all the key components, which is all I needed to help fix your mess. I will say, you do sound better. You know if I can repeat that, whether his girlfriend it's six hundred, seven hundred a thousand pounds, that's who he's with, and that is the woman that you will have to

respect him for. You know what I'm saying. I'm not gonna go so far as to say, oh, you have to respect her, because listen, I sit down with Laverne Cox a long time ago, right, and she did say one thing to me that I can honestly say I took from her, and I took it with grace, and I apply it now to my life. We have to stop thinking people, oh us respect You understand what I'm saying. We have to stop thinking that. Because I remember having

a conversation with her. It was about a previous argument I had had with the trans woman, right, and I was telling her, I don't give a fuck what you do. You will respect me. You have to respect me, and you're gonna respect me. And she said, very very calmly, you know, what makes you think they have to respect you like they don't. They actually don't have to, you know what I'm saying. You know, you can't control what somebody else feels. You can't control how somebody else act

towards you. You can't. You can only control yourself. So whether you're doing something to be respected or not, that doesn't mean the opposing person is going to respect you, or or even has to. So to that point, I don't want to say you have to respect her. I don't want to say you have to respect her, but there needs to be a level of respect as it involves your child, you know, because whether you want to admit it or not, you do need his dead. You

need his dad. You need his dad for numerous reasons. You know, you just got a new job. Congratulations, a better job, and I love that, working mom, I love that. But you're gonna need help. And instead of spending money on someone to babysit him, he can get his own son, you know, because apparently he was doing bad. You know, there was a season where he wasn't as financially stable as you were, or even as his girlfriend was. I don't know why he got put out, but apparently he

went through a rough time. Now, that's not your business, neither your concern. You know, you're not obligated to feel sorry about that or to fill any type of concern for him, you know what I mean when it comes to that, But as a co parent to your child, I do think it's very important that you at least acknowledge that he is doing something. He's paying bills in the house that he lives in. I mean, he couldn't comes down your couch until he got itself together, you

know what I mean. So the fact that he's in a position now to be able to pay bills in the house that he sleeps in, which he is supposed to do, you know, I think that's commendable on his part, and it actually sets a great example of what a man is to your son, you know what I'm saying. I don't know how old the baby is, but it's never too early to teach or to show that you can be a role model to your child, especially as a father. You understand what I'm saying, So let's just

commend him on that. Moving forward, you got into an argument with your son's father's girlfriend on Facebook. Typical, very fucking typical. Yeah, I'm saying it. I don't care that's typical, and that it's assnine and idiotic and it's immature. And we can lead that to the goddamn kids, that's what we can do. We can lead that to the high school, middle school kids. We can lead that to the TikTokers and shit like that. Okay, we ain't doing that, And by we, I mean you and me. I can't control

his girlfriend. I can't control his girlfriend's friend. You know I'm talking to you. You're my client. You know I love saying that. You know what I mean, But no, you know you're the one that I'm helping. So I'm going to talk to you. I don't really cared to give a damn too much about the girlfriend and the friend fussing with you online. You're too mature for that, or are you? You got to turn the mirror on yourself.

And you know, because I'm sure just as dumb as you thought she looked arguing with the baby mother, who is you? You looked just as dumb arguing with the girlfriend of the baby father. You understand what I'm saying, because arguing for what? Ask yourself that question, because if you would have never gotten into that argument. You wouldn't have never given her the chance to even tell you, Oh, I spend more time with your baby father and his own son. She's already stupid to even say that, Like

for that to be a rebuttal like what? Okay, clap it up for being with a nigga who don't want to be I'm sorry, I'm going way to ghetto being with a man who rather spend more time with his girlfriend than his fucking child. You understand what I'm saying. Yeah, clap it up for that. I just would have just laughed at her and repeated everything back to her that she said to me, just in a more in a more sarcastic way to make her feel stupid, you know

what I'm saying. Instead, you went along with it and you got upset, and then our friend chimed in and said what he don't do for your son? Now, I said this briefly in reading your story, but I didn't want to stray too far away from reading his story. I wanted to get it all out. You know, her friend is only getting that information from her right like that, the friend is constantly listening to her friend vent about her man and about you and about your child. So

the friend is just she. She ain't even nobody to be worried about. That's just somebody on her side, just like if you had somebody on your side. The chiming and go at the girlfriend. You understand what I'm saying, Fuck them for the time being. Now, you said on the fourth of July when you popped up to get your son and the girl was dead, you said you never said anything directly to her, but she was disrespectful, saying shit like why do you have this bitch around

my son? Et cetera. Now, if she was right there in the room, she should have got up and smacked shit out you. I'm just not even gonna hold you, you know what I'm saying, because how would you feel? How would you feel if you're dating a man and his baby mother come in the house. Don't even look at you, don't. You ain't got to say hi. She ain't got to say hi to you, don't. But the first thing she said to the baby father is why

do you have this bitch around my son? And then you said, et cetera, you ain't even tell me everything you said. So I know your loys got smart real bad, real disrespectful, and in this woman's house you popped up that ain't that ain't his house, or he wouldn't have got put out of it to begin with. You popped up in her house. I know your child is there. I know that, and you are by right as a mother go get your child from any fucking where he is.

But the disrespect in her house was crazy just because you don't like her. I also want to know how y'all ended like you know, all y'all over each other because he apologized to you and said he was wrong for having her around. Why would he be wrong for having his girlfriend around his girlfriend that he lives with, around his son. She gotta be around your baby bull

because he lives there. But you would want to slap the shit out of your boyfriend's baby mother if she came up in your house asking, not even directly to you, to your baby dad, I mean to your boyfriend, why is this bitch around my son? Uh? Because bitch, this is my house and both of y'all can get the fuck out. You know what I'm saying. If I ain't slap you, I would have said that. And I know I know even though you're a hundred pounds soaking wet,

your little ass a jumping somebody's face. I can just tell you will, and you'll put your hands on somebody if you have to. I can tell that as well. I was one hundred pounds as well before soaking wet, just as mad as I wanted to be, because I kept getting tried because everybody thought I was little and I couldn't fight. So every chance I got, I proved that I could fight. But now that I'm older and I'm looking back, it's like, Mmm, what the fuck that

I have to prove that for it? You understand what I'm saying. So I went a little left with that. That was off topic, but you know you needed that, You needed me to say that. Moving forward, So, from July ninth to August twenty sixth, those six weeks you said you haven't heard from you didn't hear from him at all. Then he called you on the twenty six accent if he could see his son. Why say no, babe? Why say no? Well, you told me why. Your reason

to that is he hadn't reached out in over six weeks. Okay, So does he not reach out for the rest of his life or does he reach out after the six weeks? You know what I'm saying, because if he wouldn't have reached out at all, still right now to this day, that would be an even bigger problem. But the fact it took it took him six weeks. If it had took him three weeks, you still would have had a problem with it, because it's not really about how long it took for him to hit you back or to

even inquire about his son. It's not about that, and I'm gonna I'm gonna wait for your update to tell me what else it's really about. Now. A couple months ago, the girlfriend kicked him out and he started asking you for money in a sleep on the couch. You said no, but you did say you try to be cool with him. I commend you on that. That was very mature of you. But it's the only reason that you tried to be cool with him is because he got kicked out and

he wasn't with the girlfriend no more. Because girl, I'm onto your ass, or at least I think I am, and I'm almost never wrong in these instances. Okay, then you said just son at a birthday party. Now listen, you never confirmed whether it was his birthday or not, but I'm just gonna automatically assume it was until you tell me otherwise. He didn't come, Yes, that was fucking wrong.

And you said he was invited. That was wrong. I don't care what you're going through unless you laid up in a motherfucker hospital, or unless somebody wanted you know, your mom, your dad, somebody in your immediate family laid up in a hospital or something. If you physically could not make it. You were supposed to be at that boy's party October seventeen. If he texted you and said he wanted to see his son, his son, I'm sorry, y'all. Son, you told him to take you to court? Why bitter

as hell? Bitter as hell? Why would you rather go to girl? Let me tell you something. You know how many men actually needs to be taken to court? Do you know that to see their son? Do you know how many men actually have to fight the courts to see their child because the mom is a bitter bitch? Do you no? No, no, seriously, that's a real question

I'm asking you. Do you know I got a couple of them in my family, A couple bitter ass cousins who still want their baby father, and because he didn't want to be with them but he was still a good dad, they took his ass downtown. They took him to put him on child's supple or I'm gonna fix you. Nah, you're not really fixing anything. You're you're not fixing anything.

You're fucking everything up. To be honest with you, you're fucking up this man's life, to be honest, and you honestly not doing a good deed by your child, especially if you don't need to take the father to court. I think that was very fucking wrong of you. And mind you, you said you listening to everything I'm saying, and I'm being hard on your main ass, because why take him to court if you're still gonna need him,

you know what I mean? That's his father forever. That doesn't stop being his father ever, just you know, just because you're upset, that's his dad. And after all those times you told him no, I come in to begin on still not giving up completely. He hits you. He gives you time. I see there's a pattern. He knows how angry and mad and aggressive his baby mother can get, so he likes to give you time because you're taking

time bomb. I see that he gives you time to cool the fuck off, whether that be days or weeks or whatever, and then he hits you up again to see the baby. Now, a man that you take the court is a mother the fucker that gives up or never wanted to see the child from the beginning. Those are the men that you take the court because you only use the courts when you need them, when you have exhausted all options. If you love me, you'll listen

to this commercial and then we'll be right back. Now you said November seventeenth, congratulations, you got a new job, boo, and you will be working every other weekend. You reached out to him. You reached out and next, if you can babysit for you. First of all, it ain't babysitting if it's my fucking son. Letting you know that now, we ain't doing that shit. And don't ever call him a babysitter. And because you ain't paying that nigga, you will never pay him to keep his son, and he

ain't sitting on your baby. I got that from my mother because my mom works in childcare administration. She's a licensed daycare provider professional right. She has a preschool and people used to get fucked up. She hates the term babysitter. She said, I do not sit on nobody's babies. I love that, and I'm passing it on you. So shit, pass the torch to whoever you can late in life,

all right. And when you ask him if he can babysit, if he can have his baby, if he can keep your baby for you, he said yes, what he would you. He wasn't bitter about it at all. He said yes, even after you gave him a hard fucking time. Take me to court. No, you can't say him, y'all. Ain't hear from you in six weeks. I hate you Da da da da da da da da da, your girlfriend

of fat bitch. All that I know. He got all that shit, He got all them words and some more from you, and he simply said yes, why because he probably missed his fucking son. That's not a guy. You take the court bow again, and I'm gonna keep saying it, hard head. So then you get in his business. I ask him where he will have the baby? No has

a mother. You have the right to answer that question, and as the dad, he has the right not to fucking tell you, because when my son is in my care, I take care of him the way I see fit. When he's in your care, I don't ask where he is. You take care of him the way you see fit. But giving his previous situation to understand why you wanted to know, because he had just got put out, you didn't know he got back with the girl. I can clearly see that he replied to you, where I fucking

pay bills? That means he's had it and he fed up with your ass. He had enough for your smart ass mouth. You say, mind you, he ain't done shit for my son since April, but you paying big bills child support. HO say, look at your bitter ass again, bitter bitter? What you doing? He ain't done shit for your son, probably because he can't even fucking see him. You mean to tell me you want me to send you money. You want me to jump when you say jump to get the little baby whatever you need. But

I can't even fucking lay my eyes on him. I can't see him. I can't come get him. You ought to be ashamed of yourself for that bullshit. I'm serious now, Later on in your passage, I do see that you. You know, you said, okay, cool, I want to just be able to have a conversation with the girl I did. He told you no, you know he was still mad, you know, over what y'all previously had went through. You know what I'm saying. And then I doubt, highly doubt

that that was only his decision. His girlfriend probably said, nah, fuck her. The way she disrespects me, she'll never get a conversation out of me, and by right, she's correct about that. However, she has to be around your child, has to be around your child, so something has to give. Something has to give, either y'all buried or hatchet. You apologize. I don't care what you're saying. I don't care if you cuss me out. I don't give a fuck. You have to apologize, that's the only way, and then she

has to apologize. The reason why I say you have to apologize to her is because you disrespected the fuck out of her in her house, you know what I'm saying. And if she's six hundred pounds, man, she'd probably took all day to get up and slap the shit out you. I told you, you know what I mean, you'd have been halfway home by the time she stood up. Fully you understand I'm saying, if she's that size, you know, But that's why I say you need to apologize to her.

But y'all too, furthermore, need to meet up, you know, and just talk outside of him. No homegirls, no nothing, just talk between y'all. You lay out on the table the issues you had with her. Hopefully she can do the same. If you don't want to do that, fuck it, don't do it. But what you asked me, well, should you let the baby go without you and the girl having a conversation? I believe so. I believe it wouldn't be Listen, your son's dad is not gonna let anybody

harm him. And if you think that, you need to let me know that too, because then that's the bigger issue. But from what it sounds like he would never put his son in any harm or danger, whether it's the fucking girlfriend or not. It seems like you know he wouldn't do that from just you know, just from what I'm gathering here, Man, answer to this last question, and then I'm gonna need you to update me. You need

to write me back. You said, I feel any bitch that mentioned a kid in an argument don't need to be around a kid. I agree with you to a certain extent. And then you said, also, if she feel away towards me, why the fuck she need to be around my kid. I already answered that because she's with his dad. She don't owe you nothing. I want you to understand that she don't owe you shit, just like

you don't owe her shit. Y'all don't owe each other nothing unless y'all want to move forward amicably and be at least mutual, be at least neutral for this kid. Because right now it's a little village. It's not just you and his dad raising him. It's you, his dad, and the girlfriend. Because that's a household. You understand what I'm saying. So she be there every time he there, and she's going to have a help and assisting his

father with him because she lives there. I don't care if it's making dinner, if it's checking homework, if it's whatever it is. Bull you have to be okay with that. And in order for you to be okay with that, you got to get over that man fully. And just like that, we've come to the end of yet another carefully reckless episode. Listen, I'm fixing mess up and down,

left and right. And I actually love this story. And I'm actually curious as to know what she will say, you know what I mean, what she will update me with. You know, it just seems like I know she loves her baby, and I know she's a good mother, and I know that she don't really want to take that niggative court. She don't want to take him to court. I just feel like she's very hurt. She's tired of

feeling like he puts the girlfriend before her son. I understand that, but that is his girlfriend, and it don't look like she going nowhere, you know what I mean. And neither is the baby. He's not going anywhere, and neither is she the mother. She's not going anywhere. Neither one of them are going anywhere, right, So they have to figure out a way that they can all at least be neutral. It's no way. It's no way, because

then that will affect the fucking child. And that is the last thing that you want for the baby to see some unhealthy co parents and shit going on. That's why me and my son's dad we do it, and we do it the best. I still haven't seen another co parents in bond like me and my son's dads. Man Jerome crystal clear on every decision. That man, don't make a decision for my son unless you run it past me and vice versa, even with my boyfriend. Listen, it's a village. My son is being raised not only

by me and my son's dad. It's me, Rome, which is his dad, my boyfriend, Chris, Jerome's girlfriend. You know my mom, my boyfriend's mom, you know my dad. So it's a village. My sister, his aunt, you know my son's aunt, Rome's brother, which is Ashton's uncle. It's a village. And it takes that. You understand what I'm saying. You can't do it by yourself. You can't. Well, I'm gonna change that now. You can do it by yourself. Mother's out here, do it every day. I I know mother's

you can. But why when you don't have to, Why would you? Because that shit ain't easy. It's not easy raising a boy by yourself, even with the help of the fucking courts. It's better when you have a parent that wants to be present, and that is his father, right, So update me, girl, and I already concluded the episode, I just went back into it. I really really liked

this story. This shit touched me, It really really did touch me, and I got a little soft spot for the mean girl, hit me, bad girl, love y'all, and then my deepest pan boys. Peace Can't Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and The Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows.