I'm Brandon. And I'm Jesse. We're. Cannabis school having cannabis infused conversations. With everyday. People, Cannabis companies. Celebrities. And your mom. Welcome to the Sash. So Adam, thank you so much for being here, brother. Thank you. It's an honor, Jesse. Yeah. And to be here with you and Brandon and. Yeah, it's an honor. Yeah, we, you know the reason why we wanted to bring you on.
You have such an amazing story about where you came from, how you grew up and ultimately what you've been guided to do now. And I think it's super cool because being able to be connected to people is such a strong, strong pull that we all have. But life tends to kind of like just get us caught up in the day-to-day where we kind of leave everything like ourselves, who we are kind of behind. And I just have loved your journey. That's why I like when we got together recently.
You know, for a very fun sesh that definitely shouldn't have been recorded. But. And we didn't. But you know. We thought about it. We were actually thinking about doing an episode until it was. Until we were there. Psilocybin and Ketaminix. Yeah it was pretty it was pretty intense. So but I I gotta tell you though it's it's really cool that you know, I I just wanted to let you tell people about who you are what you've done.
So let's kind of start off like you were raised in in the Mormon faith, right? In the LDS. Yeah, raised LDS. Yep. Raised here in Salt Lake. Yeah, oldest of four boys. Pretty traditional middle class family. Growing up in the predominant religion, did you go on a mission? Yeah, I did. Went on a mission, went to Argentina, you know, had a great experience there. And, yeah.
And again, right. We're raised this way as far as, you know, beliefs and so forth and kind of just went through it and did the motions and went through the motions and you know, kind of did that whole thing and ended up getting married when I was young. So I was 23 when I, you know, I got married. And yeah, I was married for 17 years. I have four incredible sons that I'm so grateful for. Yeah, just amazing. I love them. We've got such an incredible
relationship. And you know, I got, I actually ended up getting divorced about six years ago. And you know what started me down? This journey of self discovery self really kind of getting self worth right. You know it's interesting I think and I don't think I'm alone in this man. You know a lot of times men we as men like tie our identity to other things. It's to success, it's to money. It's to outside of us right as far as like what is our worth
like what are we truly worth. And you know I've, you know I've battled many things in my life and you know one of the one of the big things that I've battled for a lot of for majority of my life was my weight, you know. So for most of my life, you know, food was the drug, eating was the addiction. And you know, I battled weight loss and weight gain my entire life. And I could go on Oprah and talk about, you know, literally, literally hundreds of pounds
over the years. You know, just back and forth and back and forth. Just yo-yo. I mean, I've done every fat diet. I've done all of it right. And at the core of it, and I think I truly believe this at the core of any, you know, someone that's like overweight or in my case like morbidly overweight or morbidly over, you know, morbidly obese is it's, it's the inability to regulate emotions, right. And so I didn't know what to do. I didn't have the tools.
And so I turned to food, You know, food. What if I was excited, I was eating. If I was anxious, sad, whatever emotion I was feeling, food was the go to, right. And it's this interesting cycle. I mean addiction, right? So food's mine every. I mean my belief is we're all addicted to something. I don't, I don't care who you are, right? So there's such so much emphasis on you know drugs and alcohol or
porn you know. But if there's sugar, there's you could be addicted to drama, you could be addicted to social media, you could be addicted to work, you could be addicted to exercise. I mean we all have a modat. We all have something that we go to and and the and our intention is to actually self soothe. The addiction is rooted in self soothing, right? So when we get anxious and we feel something we it doesn't feel comfortable. So what do we do to get rid of it?
Try and make ourselves feel better in whatever way we can. Exactly. And we all have different modalities and there's no again no judgement whatever someone has. But when you get into a cycle of turning to something that then and then then after it where the you know you're getting a temporary relief but then afterwards it creates pain, right? It's probably not the best modality like to use or to lean on. And so food was mine.
I mean, I just had the most. The cycle of it, the cycle of it on and off was just, it was horrific for me and I didn't know how to get out of it. Have you struggled with that most of your life? Most of my life, yeah. And it's just your recently, I mean I've lost, you know, I've lost over 125 lbs. So I've you know, I I peaked out close to £350. I've seen your pictures on social and you're like a whole. Fucking different man There. Yeah, you're like 1/3. Of the man who used to be it's
it's insane. Yeah, it's crazy. So props to you. You look amazing. Thank you. And I like what you said there, like you were trapped in this prison of your body and your mind, like you just couldn't escape, but you wanted to get out. Well, my worth was tied to that. Everything was tied to how I looked and so you know and again the discord in my marriage when I was married was like IA lot of it. I put on my weight right. And how I you know move through the world.
I I we go to with my kids you know we go to water parks to do stuff. I wouldn't participate. I wouldn't be involved. I was too self-conscious. I was embarrassed. Right. And then I'd see dads. Dads that wear shirts in the pools. Let's I just want you guys all to know if there's anyone listening that does. It doesn't. You're not hiding anything in. Fact. In fact, you're actually showing more, right? And it's like, I don't want to
be that guy, you know? And so I just never felt comfortable and it's such a, it's such a a sad feeling that my entire worth was tied to that. Right. And there's so much more to it
than just that. And so again, not knowing how to regulate all these emotions and and not how to deal with all this stuff that I I had a moment about, I don't know, about seven years ago, give or take, where I kind of started down the self discovery and I I had a moment, I was actually talking to my father and I finally opened up a little bit about where I was in my marriage. It just kind of opened. I needed to talk about. I haven't talked about it with
anybody. Yeah. And in the course of our conversation, I had this this overwhelming feeling that it's like, Adam, you've got to work on you. You got to make this about you. And again, at the time, it's like I'm pointing a finger at everybody else. But the reality is it's like, no, this is for you to decide. So I had a brother that had gone through a divorce, and I didn't at that time like to open up and share feelings or talk about anything or the idea of going to
therapy. I'm like, no way. Like, I don't need that. But I finally was at a point like, you know, what I'm doing is not working. So if I want something to change, I have to change. I mean that's the core thing of where I'm at today is like, we are anything in our lives that is not working or is not in alignment or we're unhappy with that.
We're not hitting our goals. We are the common denominator in all of it. We are the problem and we are also the solution to get ourselves out of it, right. So I ended up calling a therapist and you know, got her on the phone. She goes, why do you want to go in? And and I quote, I go, I need to
figure my shit out. And that was the beginning of my, you know, and I I think healing's a a lifelong process, but it was the really the beginning for me to really start to dig in and understand what makes me tick. Why do I, you know why do I do what I do? Why do I have all these limiting beliefs, this lack of self love, this lack of self respect? Cause the truth is, is I was gorging myself with food. It's it's a it's a There's a lack of self respect with it. Yeah.
You've told me a lot of, I mean we've we've known each other here now for almost a year. And you know I it's just going back to all the stories that you shared with me. You know, I I felt that that sadness in you like just being trapped in it. And like when you talk about that those pictures that you see on his Instagram where, you know you see this massive transformation where now you've built yourself where you truly treat your body as a temple.
Now, like you, you're like no, this is, this is. I've worked very hard for this and you've stuck with it. How long have you kept the weight off? Yeah. And it's, it's still gradual press. So I started this kind of weight loss journey about five years ago and and to me, it's an evolution, right. And I I used to always be the guy that it's like, you know what's really popular today is like 75 hard. Like I love it.
It's a great jump start. But almost everybody I know that's done that or is doing it like they lose the weight in a short period of time. Then they get to the end and they go right back to where they were and in many cases even more, even more so. Right. And that was me that years ago there was the what's called the HCG diet. So basically you'd you'd put these drops under your tongue, some people got a shot, and then you only ate 500 calories a day. And I mean, I cross.
Brandon's. No bro, I would die. I have such a high metabolism it gets insane. But like there was a time where I'd lost 100 lbs. So I'd lost 50 lbs the old school way. And then I started doing the HCG diet and I lost 50 lbs literally in like 2 1/2 months. Like, just came off. But the minute I was done, I'm like, oh, I mean, I didn't integrate. I didn't, like, start eating health. I just kind of went right back to your habits, 'cause I hadn't changed.
The habit, the. Habit and more importantly, like the the limiting beliefs internally. Behind it, yeah. So I think in order to, you know, the our outward body, our our physical body is an outward manifestation of what's going on in the inside at the end of the day. And so my weight loss became permanent and I'll never go back because I've, I've been healing the inside and as I've healed the inside, the weight's been coming off and and continue to fall off and I'm just continuing
to reform my body. And it's it, I mean, it's exciting. It's like, well, what else can I do? What else can I do? You know, and it's, it's understanding the emotional side of it, you know, and the weight loss in the nutrition industry. I mean, let's be honest, the formula to losing weight and getting in shape is pretty simple. It's calories in, calories out, exercise, build muscle. And I mean oversimplifying it. What's not addressed is the mental and the emotional attachment to it.
That's really what it comes down to. So how do we overcome those aspects of it? Man. What sparked that? Was it your divorce? Was it plant medicine? What triggered that initial? Yeah. So I I would say everything right for that perspective. I think, you know, it's interesting. You know, we all want to change. There's most of us have something in our life that we don't like, right?
But it's fascinating that it's like, yeah, I I desire, like for example, when I was really overweight, I desired to be in shape. I was really uncomfortable with where I was. Because no one wants to be. Yeah, but the truth is, I wasn't uncomfortable enough to make the change. So it it in a weird way, I was. There was comfort in the discomfort of where I was. It was my norm. It was my baseline. Yeah, familiar. Exactly. There was a familiarity to it. Right.
And so, you know what, what transpired for me and I finally had a breaking point that'll share is, you know, and you know, plant medicine has been a big part of my life. I'm a huge advocate for it in the right settings. I mean like anything there can be abuse associated with it. But it it truly is a tool if used correctly, that really
brings you back to you. I mean and so when I was actually when I was married, you know, I was spinning, I didn't know what to do. Our our marriage is falling apart and and like back up to, you know, on the outside, it's like I had a thriving business. I was making a ton of money, had all the stuff right. Didn't have a lot growing up. And so a lot of my worth went into my home and the toys and all the things and all the trips and you know, all the money I
was making. So my worth was tied to that and my identity was tied to my business. But underneath it, right, I was dying inside. I wasn't happy. I didn't feel good about myself and you know, and not knowing what to do with. And I finally got to a point when I got into therapy, I'm like, this isn't working. What do we do right? So I started. I didn't have a voice. A lot of times I was, I'm a recovering people pleaser and I I wouldn't express what I needed.
I mean, lots of things, just horrible communication. And when two people get married, when you're 23, I mean. You don't. Yeah, you don't know shit. You know, I've joked with my kids, I'm like, you need to be 30 before you get married. You're gonna be disowned, right? But I just feel like, and again, there's so much grace in it, 'cause we didn't know what we were doing. Right Heights, 2020. Yeah, so towards the end, go to
therapy, doing stuff. We just kept hitting Roblox, Roblox, Roadblox and a friend of mine had talked about started to talk about plant medicine. I didn't know what this was, right? But I was at a point like, I'm willing to try anything, you know. And so here I am still, you know, in the LDS faith and and not understand, like right now I'm willing to do anything like
I need to figure this out. So I was introduced the first time I was introduced to something called 5 Meo or Bufo's, the other name for it. And you know, there's a shaman that administers it when you're sitting there and she looks at me and she goes, you're going to have 10 years of therapy in the next 30 minutes. And I kid you not, I had 10 years of therapy in 30 minutes. It was the scariest, hardest thing up to that point that I had ever felt in my entire life.
And and the way I explain it is, you know it in in five MEO, it's DMT, right. So it's in the way it hits your receptors, the way it hits your brain. It's like the way I explain any kind of plant medicine as it takes your, you know, we all have two parts of our, you know, our consciousness, we have subconscious, We have the conscious side of it. You know, the subconscious is designed to keep us safe. Most of what we do during life is just like mindlessness and subconscious kind of taking
over. Like how many conscious decisions are we making? Are we choosing every? Day. Very minimal because we are subconscious creatures. It'd be overwhelming if we had to consciously make every decision. So what plant medicine does and some of them medallions, which we'll talk here about in a minute, specifically ayahuasca.
But with what? Basically for me, what it does is it takes your conscious and your subconscious and the divine God, it puts everything in alignment and then it pulls away the stories, right? We all have a story. We all have a story. And the stories are based on life experiences, based on programming, based off what we were taught. And when you're in that space, it peels it all back and it just speaks truth to you and to me.
What they ultimately do when used in the right setting is it brings you back to you, who's your true self, what's true, and it's really coming back to loving yourself. So when I had this first experience, it's as if my heart, the way I explained, as if as if my heart was encapsulated in six inches of steel and then that one experience cracked open. So in cracking open that steel, there was two things I felt. One, I felt something had never felt before.
But the biggest thing that I'd felt was the lack of self love. I didn't realize how much I hated myself, how much I loathed myself, how low myself worth was. It was so painful, so painful, so painful. This I didn't know what to do with it, you know? And the other thing that happened with it is it slowed everything down for me. So at the time, it's like, you know, my wife at the time, we'd get in a fight and she'd say, you said this and all these. And I'm like, I didn't say this.
I didn't. I was going crazy. I didn't know what was real, what wasn't. I was literally spinning. And after going through that, it's like almost like life went on slow motion for me or at least slowed down so I could decipher, like, Nope, this is mine. Nope. That is yours. You know? And it was, I mean, again, it's truly a medicine in that space. And so that kind of started, you know, in conjunction with that, you know, we ultimately decided to get divorced.
And again, not I've started to exercise and started to, you know, lose weight and do things but like, still not really changing habits or behaviors. And I had moved out. I was in my new place, you know, still going through the divorce process. And my ex-wife, she called me and just ripped me. And I honestly don't remember what it was about. But I went into a trance and I didn't know what to do with it. I was so triggered. I just started eating, so I'm just eating all this.
And to make things worse, it wasn't enough because it was still so painful. The pain hadn't gone away yet. Then I then door dashed even more food and I'm sitting there alone, all right, My kids are with her and I gorge myself to the point of just like, pain, uncomfort. And I, in that moment, I broke down and I just started sobbing and I said to myself, this does not work, it's time to change. And that was the pivotal moment for me.
The pain of where I currently was was so intense was so bad, but it exceeded the pain or the of what I knew what it would take to get in shape that was stronger. So the fear of the unknown, the fear of it, it pushed me into that and it's like it's time to change. I don't ever want to feel like this again. And it was that kind of critical moment, that low moment, that dark moment that put me on a projectile you know to to
getting in shape. But that that's the pivotal moment for me that I remember most in as it relates to like literally my truly an addiction to food and managing my emotions and the self love journey and it's like I needed to really start down that path and that was a very pivotal moment. As painful as that day was I'm so grateful for it. I'm grateful you know for my boy's mom for my Co parent for that and and I know she and I are in a great space today.
We are such we're good friends we Co parent well our kids are better off. I mean that divorce, I wouldn't wish divorce on my worst enemy. But for me, because we for both of us, we both chose to choose love. We both chose to kind of reflect it back to ourselves. And everybody's been better off and and not everyone's the is that case. I understand that. But I believe every challenge that we're faced with is actually a gift from God. It's their lessons to be learned
if we choose to that. But when you're in the thick of it, When you're in the flames. It never feels that way. Ever. But the more. But I also believe, like, even in my own current flames and my own current challenges today, it's like my perspective on them has shifted. So I don't give it as much energy. And I'm like, I know there's a light at the end of this. I know there's a light actually to be found in it. You know, we talk about dark and
light. I believe that the light's actually found in the dark, and it's when you face the dark is where. That's both develops your true character like you as a person. Because if life is always easy, you never experience these like these really shitty experiences, that dark, that lets the light come true. Because otherwise you don't have that contrast, you have no idea.
And we just grow up as these happy beings, which I'm sure is amazing, but it's these really pivotal moments in life that really just shake you to your core that really make who you are. Yeah, it's, I mean going into exactly what Adam I mean he he convinced himself for many years, even knowing the truth, that, you know, he didn't want to be that guy. Yeah. So he didn't want to be hurting. Here's a question.
When you said that first BUFO experience with five Meo, when you had that and that sudden realization of that you didn't have self love, that you had this loathing and that I've experienced that on mirror work with a psilocybin experience. Did you find after you came out of that, did you find that there was a self love in there or like has it just taken time to
develop that over? So this, that's a great question, 'cause I I'm, I'm grateful you're bringing this up. So when you're in a plant medicine experience whatever that happens to be right again, as I said earlier, it's like you take the the subconscious, the conscious and the divine. Everything in his alignment, everything is super clear, right?
It is so clear. It's almost sometimes I'm laughing my ass off because I of how complicated, how overweight, how we over complicate things in our life. It's really if you peel all the layers back it's pretty simple stuff like the formula to success, the formula to this, the formula to whatever we want. It's pretty simple right. So the medicine shows you so it's a guide to me in in in so many ways. Yet it's just it's an experience
that you're experiencing. You're seeing things, you're seeing truth, you're seeing all these different things but then the experience ends, right. So then again, like you quote UN quote, wake up or you're there the next day you're still. Then the stories come back, the limiting beliefs come back. There's habits that were there before. It's not like all of a sudden poor habits. You still have to do. Work.
You still have to do work. Where you said before there wasn't any love like my experience when I did mirror work, I realized in looking in that mirror that I didn't. I didn't love myself. I hadn't loved myself. I had loathed myself and hated myself and judged myself in all these ways that I didn't do to anyone else, that I loved in the same way. And in that moment, I realized
that I should love myself. I should love myself the same way that I love Jesse and my kids and my family like every one of these people. That I should love myself in that. But I should. That's The thing is like I should but I don't. Yes, but I don't right? And it's. And I haven't shown myself that love.
And it's and it's a slippery slope, because if we get into the should of the should of that right, then there's all of a sudden this additional layer of shame that it's like, I don't love myself, I don't love myself, I don't love myself or whatever, right? That's just realizing where you are at. No for sure.
Yeah, but it's, I mean, that was a really hard thing to look at and I'm sure with you because in that moment, it's looking at this person, this being or this energy that you are and going, hey, I haven't held myself to the same value that I've held anyone else. Yeah, and so mirror work was.
So after that experience, you know, a very someone very close to me. We were doing a coaching with a gentleman at the time and it was around the power of words and it included where mirror work and so everyday we were to write down I am statements, 20 of them like so I am beautiful, I am sexy, I'm whatever. Whatever things you needed to say, write them all down. Like things you'd like to call into your life for like how you'd really like to see yourself and then go to the mirror and Sam.
So I wrote down the 20 things at the time and I went to the mirror and I couldn't. This again, this is after that experience. I couldn't even say it. I couldn't look myself in the eyes, in the mirror, 'cause I didn't believe it. I had 0 conviction to it. And so we'd, you know, my accountability partner, we'd come in, we'd start talking about it and she'd be like, I did this, I did this and I and I sat and made excuses. I'm like, oh, I've been busy. I haven't done this.
What I didn't have the strength to tell her at the time, which I've told her since, is like I actually was. I didn't. I didn't have the strength to do it. It was too painful. It felt like you were lying to yourself. I can't. I can't say this to myself because at that moment you're like, yeah, I'm just lying. I don't. I don't feel this.
But what? But, but what the again, going back to kind of the plant medicine, the catalyst to that, if you will, is looking in the mirror and not having the strength to do it. The old MO, the old Atom. That version before that would have just stayed in it. But it's like actually I don't like how this feels.
So what do I do about it? So I can sit and complain, I can self love, I can continue to eat, or I can do something about it. I can get actually uncomfortable and get out of my comfort zone because I actually want to look at myself and be proud of who I am. I want to love the man in the mirror. I mean the reality is, you know, it's man or woman. The the hardest person we have ever faced, do face and will face is ourselves. Period. That will never end. Because it never goes away.
And so it's like, so to me. It's like it's the battle within. It's like, how do I become my best self? How do I, you know, the limiting beliefs inside of me? How do I, how do I silence that? How do I acknowledge that side of me? But then what do I do to continue to get better?
You know, self love. I think one of the greatest ways we talk about self love and there's a lot of people in the, you know, in the spirituality space and like the self help world, is this like, oh, you're perfect just the way you are. You love yourself. You know, I think the best way we love ourselves is continue to progress. Like I love myself so much, I'm willing to actually get out of my comfort zone and do more. Yeah, you you do some pretty
hard shit every day. You you take a cold, you you do the cold bath right and that shit's outside. We're in Utah right now. It is fucking cold out. There something degrees or less you? Gotta, I mean, what's the temperature of your your cold bath? You know, I had a set of 39, but then I watched a I've been following a lot of guys that are really into this and they're like anything under 50 has the same. Same. Effect to it, the temperature of the water and so So I'm like,
you know what? So mine set up 45. Good for you. I'm like, it's 5°. I'm like, am I that tough much? I mean, I'm getting in it's. Still cold. It's still cold. It's affecting you to benefit that 5° to go colder. If you're getting most of that same benefits from that, do you do that every day? I do, yeah. Almost every day and and and what I loved about it, when we were hanging out we had that sesh, right. The session will never be recorded.
Yeah, but what was so cool is what you had said to to Bennett, right? You you said every day I have to talk myself into it. Yeah, I don't like it's not like I get excited to do it. It's. Yeah, you're not a sicko. No, it's like, no, but here's the, here's the thing And it's like, I think this is really important because again, we're on the condom, you know, cannabis, right? I mean, I'm an advocate for when it's used the prop, you know, in the right settings.
I mean, there's some beautiful things you can do with it and cannabis food, drugs, anything like there's there can be excessiveness in it, right? Absolutely. And that's for each person to determine themselves. So for me, again, food when I get triggered, even today, right? I I'm in fairly good shape, better shape than most people my age now. But still today if I get triggered, my first instinct is
I want to eat. And and if you take the science to it, it's like it's the dopamine, it's the dopamine that we're we're that our brain's searching for, right. So, So a cold plunge to me is a way for me to get the dopamine hit without the crash. Interesting. So it lasts longer. So again, I eat that sugar. I I love Milano cookies. It's a joke with my boys, like, so I I can eat a Milano cookie and it's like, Oh my gosh, this
is so good. And then before I know it, I could eat the entire bag and then I feel like crap. Or I can, you know, I've, I've worked really hard to get to this point where I'm triggered and I go to the food and I'm able to actually stop and ask myself, it's like, OK, wait a minute, is this really what you want? So when we can get curious about the thoughts and not attached to them, that's where magic happens and then we start to live a much more conscious life. But I know, I know also my I
know that. You know again I have I have ADHD like I I'm, I I love to feel. I love. I like big feelings. I mean I feel it all I can. I can light up a room and I can suck it out and it's like and that's the way I've lived my life kind of in extremes from an emotional perspective. And so how do I regulate my own emotions? Cold water therapy has been life changing for me for that standpoint, and it helps me control it. And so anyone that has, they feel like has an addiction.
It's one of the greatest modalities. When I feel like I'm trying to detox off something that I feel like I'm in excess with, I will go to coal plants and there's days where I'll literally get in at four or five times a day. Fuck. Oh wow, that's so, but. It but it's the detox. But I'm able to detox off something so much quicker. But what I love away you just said there because it gives the cold plunge a purpose to not to make fun of anybody else. But I always look at these guys
that like, they're dickheads. And they're they're just like, hey, let me show you why I'm doing this, just to do it like, oh, it's cold, it's hard, it's tough, but you're turning it. I mean, you said it cold water therapy. Because it really has. It's taking what's naturally inside you to be able to get you what you need in order to
continue to thrive. Because you can't just stop the dopamine after you've been years and years of what food was doing for you, giving you that dopamine, and now you've got to replace it with something else. It's not necessarily golden cold Turkey. It's finding an alternative that keeps you healthy both in mind and body. Exactly, Exactly. So to me, it's like there's plenty of physical benefits. It's an emotional thing.
To me, It's it's it truly is therapy and I don't like getting into it. There's morning, there's mornings where I have to talk myself into actually most of them. And there's sometimes where I'll, you know, I do a sauna session before and I go to get in it. And there's been a couple mornings where I'm like not, not happening. And I'll walk back in and then I'm like, Nope. And then you go back out and it's But there's something, especially with men, right? We this, we want, we like men
like AI love a challenge, right? And I think the one of the best ways that we can start our days is doing something quote, UN quote hard, that's uncomfortable. There's a sense of accomplishment. I I mean, I believe the greatest, most attractive quality that anyone can have, man or woman, is confidence. Like it's sexy, It's it's magnetic. And the number one way for us to be confident in our own skin is to is to follow through on the commitments we make to
ourselves. It's to do things that we wouldn't normally do. It's the it's it's stacking evidence based off doing things, you know, either consistently, either that are out of our comfort zone. And when we're able to get through it and push through it, it's like all of a sudden this additional, you know, shot of adrenaline, this is shot and it and it then takes your natural dopamine up to new levels. It's like, oh, I got this, I've done this before. I can do this.
I can do hard right? Because again, our natural tendency is to pull away from hard all. No one wants to feel pain. No one wants to feel that. But if you can get into a space, and this is where magic is to, to allow yourself to just feel right, just sit in it for a minute and let the universe move it.
And it's fascinating how fast you can move through things with the with the flip of a switch when you're actually when you actually pause versus turning to whatever substance, turning to whatever activity, turning to whatever, right? Sit in it versus having the reaction and just allow it to sit in it. There's a guy falling. So I mean, I love the stuff on social. He's, he talks a lot about his own journey with porn addiction
for example. And you know, one of the things he said is he's like people that are addicted to porn. He goes it's, you know, guys are doing it, whatever. And it's like, yeah, guys are, you know, quote, UN quote, more horny than women. And I'd argue that's not necessarily the case. We could have a whole conversation around that. But but the truth is, like, porn addiction is rooted in an unregulated nervous system.
So whether it's porn, it's like it, it's because it's the dopamine that's getting hit and there's a pain or there's something out of alignment or something and and we don't want to deal with it or someone doesn't want to deal with it. And so they turn to something else for temporary relief. So it feels that dopamine, right? It feels that lack. But it's fleeting, yeah. And then it then creates the cycle of feeling well.
It's like you're eating one, or like anyone else who turns to a substance or something for a numbing sensation, or like to help cope. That's all it is, is finding that. But if you can find a better way to manage it and do healthier things like your cold plunges and that. But it's great now, too, because you've really faced that monster, which was the addiction to food that you had stronger than anything else, where you still tell me you're like, you know what, I can still have a
tasty treat. I just don't have the have the whole bag. Yeah. And there's times, Full disclosure, like I'm like there'll be days like I'll say fuck it. I'm going to have the bag, but it's like, but I don't. The old version of me would be like, I would I used, I was the guy that's like, I'll start on Monday, right. So I hype myself up on Sunday, get all excited, but then I'm, you know I'm eating a bunch on Sunday.
I'm like, I'm going to start Monday morning and then Monday morning comes in, I go to the gym, I do whatever. And then you know 1:00 I got a client meeting. We end up going wherever and it's like, oh, I'll get a cheeseburger and it's like, oh shoot, you know, and it's like I'll start next Monday and throw the whole weekend. I mean it's just it's it's it's ludicrous to think about. It's it's almost, yeah, it's almost comical.
So now it's like, yeah, I I'm, I'm, I'm 90% of the time I'm pretty strict and other times I'm not. And I I'm if it fits into kind of my my goal and my macros that I'm tracking, then I'll eat it. I don't. I don't shame myself for it. If I eat something that isn't in my best interest, I like, I acknowledge it. It's like OK And then I have a conversation with myself, like understanding why turn to whatever I did and then I get
right back on the bandwagon. So there's here's the thing when when someone's trying to shift out of addiction or anything, realize there's got to be grace. And this is part of self love is like understanding. Like, hey, you know what? If I've been doing something a certain way for however many years, in my case 40 plus years, to to think that you're not, someone's not gonna all of a sudden go back and slip into something isn't isn't realistic. You're just setting yourself up
to be disappointed and to fail. So it's having grace for the step backs and realize that it's like they're learning opportunities. And when you can actually learn to love the dark side, the light side, the shadow side of all of us, and and learn to lurk with the duality of all of it, that's where magic happens. Then it's full circle now today. Burn up. Yeah, Burn up is what you're doing. You came from the finance world.
You're very successful in that. And through this journey, I mean, I just kind of see like things have had to happen in your life for this to take place. So this is your calling, yeah? Yeah. So it is. So yeah, my, my, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm a I'm a life coach. I'm AI, I'll say a transformational coach for men. And I believe that, like, you know, I believe that we can have anything and everything we want in life if we're willing to do the work.
And we're again, as I said earlier, is we're willing to face the man in the mirror. That's where it starts. You know, everybody wants a quick fix, Everybody wants. And I I don't believe anything in life that has real value, that has real worth comes easy. I think you have to put the time in and what seems really hard today, once you embody it and start to do it over a continual basis, then becomes part of who
you are. Like, so for example, working out in the gym when I was paying a coach years ago, thousands of dollars literally to try to get me to an emotional state where I could have my gym packed, you know, my gym bag ready to go at 7 AMI mean it's comical to think about today, but it's like the gym's just part of who I am. It's like there are many mornings I don't want to go. It's not like I'm like wake up every morning excited to go. But it's like, no, it's like
it's become part of who I am because I've reprogrammed my new baseline as it relates to physical fitness. And working out is at such a level. It's who I am as a person today. And so and I believe again, if we're the catalyst for change. So for example in my marriage, right, I can. It takes two to tango, period in any relationship. So if there's discord in your relationship, you are a common denominator in it and the default, the easy thing for us is to be like, again, we're all
men here. It's like, well, she does this and she does that. It's her fault. It's this and it's like, what's your? Role. Yeah, accountability, extreme accountability. It's like, what's my role in this? Right. So, like, for example, when I was married, you know, men are pretty easy. It's like, mostly right. You know, we want words of affirmation. We want us to be told we're the man, right? And we want intimacy, you know? And those were two core things
we're missing in my marriage. And of course I wanted to point a finger. I was blaming my weight and blaming all these things. But the reality was, for me taking radical ownership, I wasn't a safe space for my wife. I wasn't providing emotional support for her so she could lean into her feminine and feel soft. And for me to be in my strong masculine, and then to have the polarity of us come together, that was missing.
Yeah, I remember. I remember you were telling me that story where you know, you you you had this estate, right? I mean, you can't call it a home at that point. It was a huge estate, and you're like, I've done all this and she says. I'd rather live like in a two-bedroom apartment. She did. Yeah, she did. Yeah. I mean we had this monstrosity of a home, this big estate, you know, and working my ass off. And of course I tied my worth to money. So I'm giving all this.
I'm doing all this. And I'm like, and I remember I looked at her, we're out in the yard and I'm like in this long driveway gated, you know, house. And she's like, I go, do you realize how I've worked my ass off for this? I'm like, and do you know what I do for you again, Right. I'm making it about look, I'm showing up And then she looked at me and she was, I wish we lived in a studio. Apt. I don't want this.
And the truth is she it's it's not that she didn't appreciate it but what she was longing for was just like this emotional support like she was she was struggling and didn't know what to do with the disconnection as much as I did, right. We only, we both had our way of doing it. But men get so caught up and so many guys like I make the money.
I do this, I do this. And so I should be able to come home and my wife should have sex with me and all this stuff and it's like, but yeah, but you're not there emotionally for her, you know, and. There's no connection. It's just a checklist of, hey, I'd provide these things, you provide these things, and it's not building that relationship. Men and women are wired very different that way. And the truth is like, you know, you're joking earlier about as far as like who's horny or who's not.
I'm telling you, like when you show up in that, when a man shows up in that masculine strong place and can, can provide a safe place for his, for his partner, for his person. Oh you you you think a man's like turned on, wait till you see a woman feel lean into that and it's night and day. And so again it's the polarity of that when you can show into that and women are craving that and there are so many married men that don't get it that they their their emphasis just like I
was there. Their emphasis was on other stuff, their to money, to fame, to to, you know, all these other things. I'm coaching my kids sports. I'm doing all these things. I'm checking on these boxes, I'm taking the garbage out, I'm cleaning the house, I'm doing all these things. But it's like, yeah, that's great and you're not there emotionally for your wife. She doesn't feel safe. 'Cause it's growing up, that's what it is to be a man. It's not the emotional side.
It's never been the emotional side. It's always been like for me, I always have compared myself to where am I at in stage, my dad? How much money have I made in comparison to where my dad was at at his age? What was my house at in? Comparison. And it doesn't fucking matter. And of course I always fall behind in comparison. We're not even the same peer, like same person. Yeah, but that's relative different. Lives, yeah, whole different lives. But it's something that like,
ingrained. We have this stupid competition or something, but we lose this emotional side, dude. This this revised after we hung out with Adam and we left and and a big take away that Brandon had was your car, right? You have. You have a cool car. It has a. Beautiful car, but it was my relationship with money his. Relationship with money, right. And it's something that like when I coach, I'm I I coach on
on more of the performance side. And a lot of times when I talk to like sales reps it's they have an unhealthy relationship with money, very unhealthy relationship with money where they value it, Where you were at at one time, where it was everything to you. That's what your identity my. My my worth was tied to. It. Yeah, absolute. But now it's not. And there's this. You have this car out there. What What Car do you have? It's. A BMW? It's an M8.
M8 OK, so. 6 figure car. Right, It's it's a it's a gorgeous car, and Brandon sees it just parked in the driveway and he's like. And it's snowing outside. He's like I already parked. His baby outside and we came in and you said that to him. You're like, Oh yeah, you know, I just moved. In the garage. Like like he didn't he he And it changed his perception. 'Cause I we were talking the next day or on the way home.
Or something. And I realized, and I was like, you know, 'cause we were talking about it. And I was like, it's it's interesting because I was sitting there thinking about it and I'm like, he didn't even second guess. I was like, yeah, I got shit in the garage. And I'm like, because to me, where I've been at in my life, my stages of things, I've looked at it and gone. I've highly valued cars, my motorcycles, anything like that that I've had.
Because to me it was like, Oh my gosh, look what I've got. It's it's this BMW, it's this Audi, it's this Escalade. It's like, Oh my God, look at this label, this brand on it. And then I realized it's just a fucking car To you. It's probably just a car. It's not your baby. It's a way to get around. At the end of the day, it is nothing more than just like having a camera. Well, we we again, we attire identity to this stuff, right?
Yeah. So it's interesting and I think this is really important 'cause we're talking about, you know, again talking about money and business, I'm going to bring it back. And also, you know, this is where plant medicine's been really big for me, right. So I had the opportunity to which I'm a huge advocate with ayahuasca. So I, you know three years ago, 3 plus years ago went down to Costa Rica and you know was there for a week and you know, hadn't, you know, had done a
couple things prior to that. But this was like my real and I ayahuasca for me is my the favorite. I I feel that I I feel more in tune with the divine and and with myself than any other medicine. And they say that they they call ayahuasca the grandmother. It's a feminine energy. So it's like this loving energy that will check your ass when you need to be checked. Yeah, just like a badass grandma, Yeah.
So it's just like you just get you just get you get checked and again right we tell ourselves stories and and again it I think the real key thing is when you look at all these things I I really want to want to really hone in on this It it really is a medicine. It is a medicine and it will give you insight and we'll show you things that you didn't even know existed. It'll change the stories and again we still need to choose to lean into it if you lean into it
right. So anyway, so it's like when I'm in there, I experienced in Costa Rica losing everything, everything. So this is three years ago. So I had just purchased a houseboat and you know, and when you're in ayahuasca, like for me, people that have all these different experiences, but for me, I'm, I'm either visually seeing something or I'm hearing something. But it's it's happening. It's your you, you are living
the experience, right. So I'm on the, you know I'm on the Marina. I'm giving the keys back and I'm. And so I'm going through this whole experience with the entire night. I mean, this is going on for several hours And so I experienced losing everything that I had from houseboats to real estate to. You know, toys to my house, to my business, to my office building, my, my relationship at the time. And so my girlfriend, I, I experienced losing all of it. And it just kept stripping it
away. And I'm just like, Oh my gosh, it in the night became more and more and more uncomfortable. And I'm just like not knowing what to do with it. And then it shows my kids. So I see my kids in this experience and I just start sobbing, uncontrollable crying, and I'm like, don't take my kids because again, when you're in it, it's happening. And it was this beautiful message that came back and it's like, Adam, you're not going to lose your kids. And the message was so clear at
the time. It's like, Adam, you are not your business. You are not your relationship. You are not your stuff. And again, remember, I had tied so much of my identity to things outside of me. My worth was tied to the mansion, to all the other stuff and all the things. And it's like the the message was so clear and I believe this truly was a message from God. And telling myself to say, Adam, you are whole.
Those things don't make you who you are and men especially in the business world ties so much of their identity and their worth to that, so much to that. So Fast forward three years. I had you know my investment business had a, you know an 8 figure business Inc 5000 company that I actually ended up losing. You know had some things of the SEC and issues that came in with our with our firm and I signed off. I mean there's lots of there's there's a lot to it.
But at the end of the day I signed off on it. So I'm accountable for it. And what was fascinating is just this last year as I was kind of sitting in it, I, you know, I had hundreds and hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees and trying to pull all this stuff together. And I had to sell all my things in order to get through it all. And looking back on it, the order in which I sold everything was in the exact same order that I saw presented to me three years. Before.
The exact same order and again. Was it as hard in real life as it was in the experience? Oh. Yeah, painful. But you were almost like, I mean, was it coming back to you during those moments? I. Didn't realize it? No. I didn't even realize that I didn't. So again, I I I didn't. And this isn't always the case. I didn't realize that what I'd seen was actually going to come to fruition. That's crazy. Right.
But the message that I received in and the message I received today and the message that I teach is our worth. Our worth is not tied to the stuff. Our worth is not tied to success and fame. What defines us is, are not the awards, the money, the accolades, but it's the challenges we're faced with and how we overcome them. What defines us is our ability to be able to lean into that, to accept our shortfalls.
And I think the biggest differentiator between what anyone would call success or or someone they want to emulate is those people. Everybody fails. Everybody has shortcomings. Everybody has insecurities. Even when you think people don't, they have them. If they don't talk about them, they're lying. Everybody has them, and those that really succeed are able to when they fall. When they fail, they're able to use it as fuel and take them to the next level and take them to
the next level. So I've experienced transformation and pain in every aspect of my life, from losing a business to relationships to body to mindset. I have experienced the highs of highs and all of it and the lows of lows, even to the point where I almost took my life over this and it was a ayahuasca was one of the main reasons. I actually I I didn't because of some of the messages that I
received during that time. It's been a medicine and it's been a gift of God for me. And more importantly it's been a gift of for me to come back to myself and detach myself from stuff, to detach my worth from that. Because of course it'd be easy for me to be like, you know, I was making all this money but I was in such a low point. Literally there was a part of me. It's like I'm just going to go look at a call center and go live in this two-bedroom town home.
Right. And no judgement about anyone there. But it's like I'm like that's but at the same time that's not who I am. Right. But I was in such a low point that it's like myself worth. It's like who am I, right and so and again the the in as extreme as it's been and as painful as it's been and it still is. I mean it's a daily practice for
me as I slowly move out of this. But like my why my purpose today is to say, look I'm living proof that you can lose everything, whatever that is to you, yet you can still have everything you still want. It's not permanent. It's temporary. It's not a fail. It's a lesson. It's not a failure. It's a lesson. Like my divorce. I again, I said I wouldn't wish on the worst, my worst enemy. It's one of the greatest things that I ever went through. Not in the moment, not in the moment.
So I'm a. 100%. So I'm of the belief today that every, every challenge that we're faced with is a gift from God. If we choose, we're always in choice. And we all know people in our lives that are victims, that are martyrs, that are stuck in the shit and just like keep telling the sad story. And they they're they're not where they want to be in life.
But the truth of the matter is they're choosing it because it's easier to be a victim, it's easier to be a martyr, it's easier to point a finger at somebody else. It is very, very challenging to look yourself in the mirror and actually say, you know what, this is on me and I need to own this. You know I finally after everything went public with what happened with my firm.
You know, I was I was spinning so worried about everybody thought about and I finally went on social media and I'm like I need to share my story. I need to be accountable. And I anticipated you know getting reamed and getting ripped to pieces and it was the complete opposite. Hundreds and hundreds of messages right. Of love and compassion And the most surprising thing with it and I'm sobbing as I'm as I'm reading these is men reaching out and saying Adam you saved my life today.
Thank you for being brave. Thank you for taking accountability. You know, cuz I was talked about being suicidal. I've talked about all these things and men suffer in silence. Often. Right. We don't feel safe. Again, vulnerability and it's like what I truly believe is like that we can have everything we want, but it's going to take us facing ourselves. It's going to be facing the stories, it's going to be facing the challenges, right? You have to get used to being
uncomfortable. Yeah, and there's and there's tons of modalities to be able to do that. There's not one. What worked for me might not necessarily work for other people. I've just walked the path. So I think one of my not think I know one of my unique offerings with men is like whatever story you're telling yourself you feel like you're alone. Trust me you're not alone. I know the pain right. And and here's the truth is like we want to avoid the flames.
We want to avoid the fire. The reality is sometimes we have to get in it it nothing will shift or change until we get uncomfortable, until we step into the fire and then use it as fuel. So burn up my company. The whole idea is like, actually when things are burning, we're actually, we have the ability to level up, to take our life to another level, burn up, right. And again, my tagline's freedom's in the fire. Everything we want's on the other side of pain and fear, everything.
And I I just, I wholeheartedly believe that. And so again, coaching with men, it's really, you know, it's being reflection, it's meeting them where they're at and and connecting them with them, 'cause I can connect with them and their pain, I know it. But like, what's where do we want to go where? And let's do what's necessary. And again, one of the big catalysts for me has been
ayahuasca, right? And has been plant medicine and and done in the right setting it can be life changing, but it requires the integration, it requires the coaching afterwards, it requires the intentions before and after. I mean, it's not just, hey, I'm just going to go have one trip and I'm done and my life's better, right? That. 'D be cool. Yeah, I know, right? Again, we all want the easy pill. We all want the easy fix. But that's not how it works. Yeah, it's not lasting too.
Like, it's talking about, like I was talking about this with somebody yesterday. Like if if your kid earns something right, like Dom Dom's such a your son's awesome, he is such a good kid. You did so well. Both of you and your wife did amazing with that one and and all of them, I mean all of your boys, dude, they're stand up boys. But you know Dom just really, he gets it. He really gets it right now at
his age. And it's it's been a lot through your examples over there, 'cause you weren't there for your kids all the time. No, I wasn't. I wasn't. I checked out. Checked out. I mean, it was again UN, you know, lack of self love, self respect, unhealthy marriage, miserable, depressed. So I was there with my kids physically and, you know, but emotionally and mentally checked out, totally checked out. And it's been a lot of work to get to, you know, to kind of work through that.
And and one of the biggest catalyst work again is was acknowledging it, owning it. I mean, I might, I've been very transparent with my kids. I'm like, listen, I'm so sorry for where I've been and that's where I'm at. You know, that's not who I'm at today. And, you know, and I've had multiple experiences where I've apologized for things. And, you know, you mentioned Dominic. You know, there was one moment where he looked at me. He's like, but Dad, that's not
who you are today. Yeah, that's cool. You know, And so again, I was the catalyst for change. I think that's, I mean, if there's anything that anyone gets out of this today is it's like, if you want a change in your life, if you want something different, you are the catalyst. You're the lottery ticket, right? If you're financially struggling, like you know going to buy lottery tickets and helping on a prior, you're not going to, that's not going to happen.
Yeah, Hope's not a strategy. Yeah, it's not. But you can be your own lottery ticket. But you're going to need to get, you know, uncomfortable AF and you need to do something different. But the only way anything will change is if you get out of your comfort zone and do something different otherwise. I mean, isn't that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Yeah, and that's why.
You know with with what you're doing with men and coaching and and I know truly deep down like I I love that you. It's not that you're like, oh, this is just something cool to do. Like Ayahuasca is a medicine for you that is to be taken with that respect. And you have really just knowing the experience that you had in Costa Rica, knowing how impactful it was for you.
Not to say that if somebody's doing this in their garage that they're not going to have a great experience, but truly being connected where you have these breakthroughs, I get this feeling that you you really need to do it down there to really experience the medicine the way it's intended. Yeah, I mean, again, right. There's there's like anything, there's abuse, there's plant medicine, there's medicine.
I mean almost every, you know, whether it's psilocybin, whether it's LSD, whether it's MDMAI mean all these different things that are out there. I mean those those they can be used in a medicine setting, right, for healing. They can also be used as a party drug, which a lot of people do both, right. Ayahuasca is not one you're going to do in your base. I mean that it is like people are like it's like a shamanic. It's very it's very, very, very, very, yeah. Sacred.
It's the word. It's a great word. That's the word. And so there's there's a holiness to it. There's a sacredness to it. It's not something you just take and you go out and party on. It is. It is by no means that and it and let me be really clear, it is work. I mean, Oh yeah. It is not like you're facing yourself. You are facing the demons.
You are. It's not smoking a. Bowl no it's not you know it's not like but but the but again but the freedom that comes after having experienced that and you mentioned the Costa Rica you know you know I again I'm so passionate about this. I actually have a retreat that burn up that we're sponsoring in Costa Rica coming up here in April. It's for only 20 people and I've assembled this incredible team of shamanic leaders, have years and years of experience and facilitators and integrators and
coaches and the music. Extremely important. I mean, so much intentions gone into this. We've got an 18,000 square foot mansion that's there, right? You know, 5 minutes from the beach it it'll be an incredible week of healing. It'll be an incredible week of self reflection, of connection, of community, and it's only for 20 people and we're already, you know, I anticipate that it's going to feel up here sooner than later.
Yeah, Ben is gone. Yeah. How do they get in touch with you or how do people try and be part of that experience? So you can so go to my website, burnup.com and we'll. Have it in the. Link, you know, just click on the retreats there, that's there. You can follow me on social. It's just Adam Nugent. So Nugent, you know I talk a lot about it on there and and again plant medicine is a tool. It has been life changing for me. It's not for everybody, right? Cannabis.
I mean you guys are cannabis guys, right? So cannabis can be an incredible tool and resource and medicine for one person and it can be not for someone else. Totally right. You You guys know this one? Like any other one. So an intent like, like you said, it is a very respected, sacred thing. So it's there's a lot of intent and usage and we talk about that often. Like, what is the intent that you're going in with, with your experience?
Even with cannabis or ketamine or psilocybin or ayahuasca, you know what is your intent behind the experience? Yeah, yeah. And it's and it's one of the most to me of all the things and I've I've, I've had an opportunity to try different things and there's different places for all of it. But for me, Ayahuasca for me has been the greatest tool to connect me with the divine and to bring me back home. It always brings me back home. It always when I'm out of alignment, it checks me and it's
painful sometimes, right. And but yet it's almost as if hey I've got God's like, I've got you, I've got you. You know I've got to come in. Just want to share one quick story. I've got, you know this first time I went to Costa Rica, right. I had a four nights of ayahuasca. And so you're cracked open the analogy I give again this is where integration's so important. It's like take Jerry Bruckheimer. He's the, you know, the one that produced parts of the Caribbean.
So the one, one of the ways I, you know, I explain Ayahuasca is like, so you know, if I was Jerry that week, this is before Pirates of the Caribbean came out the entire week. I saw the whole movie before it even came out. I saw the whole movie and it's like, Oh my gosh, it's going to be the greatest blockbuster in the world. But then once you get out of the medicine right, it see it so clear, then you have to go hire the actors. You got to raise the money. You got to do all the work
that's necessary. I mean, you can't just all of a sudden produce a movie, right, This example, without doing all the legwork and and all the time and effort that it takes to do that. This I. So that week I experienced the same thing. I saw my life laid out, I saw what's possible. I saw these things like truly, that's like this, this, this is what's real and this is what can happen.
And I was tripping, 'cause it was not like on medicine, but just I was triggered like I just got cracked open. What do I do with this? Right? This is brand new to me experiencing this and I was going into a breath work session. So one of the key things is we talked about different plant medicines. You can get to this, you know, psychedelic to state just even with your breath. Oh yeah. I had my first breath experience over your house. I mean, that was intense. Crazy. Oh.
That was the one I met. Yeah, I was like I. Didn't even want to go. And I was just like, fuck, I'll go, I'll go. Just wanted to go and I wasn't able to. 'Cause I I didn't. I didn't realize the immenseness of that. And it's exactly what you just. Stated you can get there with your breath it's fascinating. So we go into this breath work experience and again, right I'm I'm triggered not knowing what
to do with what I just saw. And as I dig into it deeper and deeper, I all of a sudden and again, I'm not on any medicine. I'm clear headed. I'm just using my breath. I start to have this odd out of body experience. So I'm actually floating above my body looking at myself there laying and then I look up and God's there and God and comes up and holds me and is like Adam. I always have you, but right now
you have you. Grabs me, turns me around and puts me into my own arms, and I'm holding myself. Trippy. I again it was the IT was the most self love I've ever felt my entire life. It was it was one of the IT. It might be the most impactful moment I've ever had. In that moment, do you feel like you? This is the only way I can reference it. Do you feel like you had almost like a Christ, like love for yourself?
That's a great, yeah, 100%. I felt like I, you know, I know people love and care about me. I felt in that moment the love for myself that other people have reflected back to me. That's incredible. It but it. But it was. Again, it was Breathwork's a modality. It was a tool. But it was again, it brought me back home. And I believe life's happening for us, not to us. And if you can look at life that way, it's like, what's there to learn in this? What am I going to learn in
this? What am I, you know? So again, I had a week of incredible insight. And then again, going into that breathwork class, that whole experience wouldn't have happened had I not been triggered, had I not, you know? And again, it's like something that was very uncomfortable. I didn't want to feel.
I almost didn't go to Breathwork, yet I leaned into it. I stayed in it and had one of the most profound moments, if not the profound moment in my life, in that very moment, again bringing you back to home and my whole intention. Like real home that you never knew before. Not a love and A and a feeling of it's I can't even put it into. You can't describe it like I had that in my mirror.
Work after it because I felt like this weird Christ like love of like seeing me as like anyone else and it it was just heartbreaking but like at the same time overwhelming, like just washing over you and it was like you instantly see this like child. Yeah, you're right. And I think I mean again, whatever God is for whoever's listening man, woman, universe. Whatever is for you. But there, I do believe that there's there, there's a divinity that's there that has an infinite love for us.
And again, if I put myself in a Father, like a father role, if it, you know, again in in the LDS faith in a lot of religions, God's a man and you know and so but if we take that fault in a father, like a heavenly Father, if we take that role as a father, and I put myself in my shoes, I mean, I love my boys more than anything. Yet I want my boys as much as I want them to know how much I love them.
What I want them is to love them and to and to embrace themselves and have the confidence and the strength and realize the answers aren't outside of you boys. The answer is inside of you and you're going to as you continue to work on you and look at the man in the mirror, the man you're becoming and taking radical accountability for your mistakes and working and doing that. That's what I want. Then that's where self love is built. That's where confidence is built and that is my why.
That is my purpose with men as it's like listen if there's something that's out of alignment, you're the problem. You're also the solution and there's plenty of modalities there's coaching, different things. I'm just, I'm so passionate about this and I'm living proof. I mean, again, I'm living this on a daily basis. And again, it's just, I just feel so-called to this and I and and and it's an honor to be able to share it.
I I want to, I want to help people not experience the pain and the anguish that I went through. Yeah. 'Cause it sucks. Going through divorce and all the shit that you've gone through sounds like it was hell. Yeah, living hell and yet again, finding gratitude in all of it. Yeah. So grateful for, you know, finding the good and everything.
Well, it's made you the man you are today, you know, and it's it's looking back and if anyone circumstance changed, you wouldn't be this person that you are today. Yeah, and I'm not the man I was, you know, someone that's going to hold you in my past or different things. I'm not the same man I was six months ago. Probably not the same man you were yesterday because you learned from experiences that happened yesterday.
Yeah, and I'm just so I want to be my the best version of myself and I want to help others do the same thing. And again, in a coaching role, consulting role, mentor role, whatever, it's like the the all it does is bring it back to you, right. So if the best, the best coaches in the world is like when when they can help their cut their clients, right get to their own conclusion on stuff, it's just
by asking questions. And then it's again, it's being able to connect with them and understand it. So again, weight loss, financial, you know if we have any financial limitations or we're not making the money we're making, if it's our bodies not where we want, if our relationships, all these things, the core of all of it is are the feelings and emotions and the mindset that we have attached to it. That's where the magic is, is
you can work through that. So if something's not working, change your story, change your behavior. It's pretty, I mean, again, pull the layers back. It's the formula's pretty simple, but it's breaking through all the stories and whether it's coaching, whether it's plant medicine, for me, it's been a combination of both. And when you really do that, and it's not easy, but I'll tell you goddamnit, it's worth it. Yeah, I and. And right now we need this more than anything.
How many people have talked about or tried to commit suicide or thought about committing suicide? Like how many people men regularly struggle with depression and like self doubt and self worth and can't look at that man in the mirror. Like truly can't look at that man in the mirror. And so I think that's beautiful, what you're doing because it brings that emotional sight. It allows people to connect with that home that true inner you and like, see your value, see your worth.
It's. Not easy to do and you need a guide for that. So for those that are listening up there, go to burnup.com. Check it out the we'll have the links down there in the show. Everything will be in the show. Also put some pictures over there, you could be able to see it linked to his social. So start falling Adam. Great guy. Yeah, Adam man. Thanks for. Taking your time and coming down here. Super passionate about this.
And yeah, and I think, again, I want it even for humanity, for all of us. I mean, I just want us all to be able to level up and and again, realize I said this, I'm going to say it one more time. We're the we're the solution. We're the answer. And again, that's why you hire a coach, that's why you work with people, is to like help expedite the process to be able to, you know, shortcut certain things.
But at the end of the day, it's like we can do anything and everything we possibly want if we're willing to do the work and take the steps necessary. And the key to it is facing ourselves. Yeah, I. Couldn't say any better. Sadly, I've noticed. Was it recently, right after or before I had before this trip with them that I had recently done, I think a microdose even of psilocybin and there's been a big change in even day-to-day things and things that I just noticed I wasn't putting in the
work. And it is. It's facing that man in the mirror and like holding yourself accountable because it can be so easy sometimes to fall into what's familiar and what's comfortable. Even if it's uncomfortable, it's still familiar. Familiar. Yep. Yep. Adam, thank you so much for coming on, man. Yeah. Thank you. It's an honor. I love what you guys are doing. Appreciate it. Take care everybody.