I'm Brandon. And I'm Jesse we're. Cannabis school having cannabis infused conversations with everyday. People. Cannabis companies. Celebrities. And your mom? Welcome to the sash, dude. It made me realize so much. So you're close to Kim. You know, I could text you all day. And yeah, that makes total sense because there are times I call you and I'm like, I wonder if I'm bothering him. And I'm like, no, he's an Octagon.
He doesn't fucking care. And then we start talking and I can tell about like a little way through. I'm like, I'm just rambling. And you're just like, yeah, we'll have. And I can tell you're just like, I gotta get shit done. And I'm like, oh man, now I realize that and all I'm like dude, whenever we if it. Depends on the time. Sometimes I really don't mind and then sometimes I don't think and then I'm like, but sometimes I'm like, oh, I've got to go, but I don't like we're still
talking. I'm going to let him finish like whatever thought and train and do that. And here's what I just go in a bit. Here's what I want you to start being able to do with me. And this is really good. This is great. Understanding this brand. We, we are going to get we're, we're not going to fight anymore.
I guarantee it, dude, we're not going to fight anymore because I understand now more because I was treating you as if you were an Octagon. And, and This is why I say this, because the perception of what we think we are as opposed to the behaviors that we show are completely different. And so you, you are you, you do desire all these things.
But one of the things that's hard for you, you've gotten better at it. But getting in front of a large group of people, that can be a little nerve wracking for me for sure. I don't feel anything. I don't feel anything at all. I'd be like. Yeah, blah blah blah blah blah. See, to me it's like. It takes a while. Even like the fucking state thing And I'm like, this is a Zoom meeting you're talking about Anna, this. But that's OK, man, because here's the thing too, man. And and I'll be.
I'll be exact and short with this, the fact that I know that you value time so much. Just stresses me out. I think that's. Funny though, because no, but that's OK dude. That's that's not something that is bad. No. Is that gone? No, but the sash one. What do you want to smoke for the sash? Let's keep going on this and we can mix a little bit of or. I mean, I don't want to. I don't want to waste that. No, no, I figured we'd smoke it, but I want to toss in some of
this too. Yeah, let's let's do that. That'd be a good good combo if. We get to that. OK, All right, continue. Sorry. So no dude, you're good, you're good. You know what? Why don't, why don't I finish that off? Why don't you use the Venti and get the other one in you right now? Because you can do that and not become fuck inebriated. That's true. That would be a good one. So anyways, knowing that how much you value time, it, it
helps me to understand. It makes me not regret, but keeps me now aware of it. So this is what I'm going to do for now on. I'm going to text you unless it's just a really cool idea and I need to talk to you. I'm just going to call you straight up. But oh, I know you do dude. I'm not saying that, but there are times when it's not a good time, right? Now have been figured out because I figured usually it was when I was editing because I couldn't edit and talk.
No, no, no. And I actually appreciate that because you've done that. It's helped me to structure where I don't talk to anybody during that time. That's work time. And so now I don't work in my room. I don't work for my bed. I work out in the living room in my giant fucking chair and I just work there. I won't work anywhere else. I did it on the table, didn't get as much done because my mind has now attached the heuristic to the chair. So it's cool, it's a, it's a good anchor.
I find, yeah, I'm way more effective when I go sit down at my desk in my office and I sit there and I work because then I go, OK, this is my work spot. But when I was hurting, I'd find that I would send the emails on the couch sometimes just hurt so bad. But like. You can give yourself exceptions, but you still won't be as productive. You just won't.
You can't. I love doing work work in there, but now that I figured it out and most of it is my editing time, I can't really be productive and edit because I can't listen to you and listen to the show or do that. So that's been my only issue. But then now that I text edit, it's been like, I can actually edit because I can read and listen to you because I'm like, Oh yeah, no, where do I need to cut? OK, here's a gap that's this many seconds. Here's the thing for me.
So since you know that I don't, it's not that I don't value time is that? Concept of. Time I don't care about. It's not real to me because it's going to happen anyways. It's a, it's a, it's a natural order of chaos. The sun's going to come either way. The moon's going to come either way. I can't do anything about that. So it's me disassociate. This is something I've learned recently about myself. So what I do though is I care deeply about other people and their feelings.
I'm a very emotional guy so. But that's part of my behaviors and I know why a lot of it comes stem from childhood of why I need this constant need for approval. But now I know I don't need that. So I've been doing a lot better mentally for myself because. You're not seeking that. But for you, because time is so important, you feel bad when you're not able to do stuff for other people when you're not like this makes sense.
Like when we worked it, this always comes to my mind, like, and, and I always, I, I felt bad because when we did Bennett's thing, your face showed like honestly, the only other time I've ever seen that face is like in World War 2 movies when the Germans are coming and they're out of bullets. Like you're just like, like you just. Felt like failure on the very first attempt. But I, I always go, there's always another way. Like I don't let those things that are circumstantial.
My my belief is that my time spent connecting with others and growing with others. You get the alcohol, aren't you? Fuck gross. You got to let it dry. You got to. Figure holding that out because that's going to be horrible, yeah. Dude, why don't you go get well, let's just smoke it. But anyways, dude, to to wrap that up and we'll get right into our show. Thank you, because now I understand you more. I'm going to send you a couple of different shapes. That's super common though, man.
I I don't want you to think like I was thinking you were cheating or anything. Oh no, it's just. Right. There answer what we think and it. Well, because it's what you what we want. I you know how many times I tested and I got circle lot 5 times and tell Kim does fit Kim's like. She's like you're not a circle. You're not a circle. She's like, you are not a circle. And I was like, all right, I'll take it again. And when I took it again and I read it and I was like, that makes sense.
So it, it just makes me understand you so much more. And if you don't mind, I'm going to, I'm going to help guide you in certain ways for you to feel like you're more in control of everything in your situations, including your conversations. This is what helps me more when I understand others, then I go, oh shit, I do and say things that probably fucking infuriate you and it's because not because you don't understand how I'm coming because I don't understand what you prefer and
how to communicate. There's easy ways that I can turn it around and going don't use that word, use this. Word. Most the time the words don't bother me because it's like taking offense to a sound and most the time the word is just another phrase for another similar word and those can be interchangeable like. Pretty simply, but it also does. It does count.
You can't change that. Your linguistics paired with your tone have to be In Sync. So if you say something such as hey, you want to go to the store or do you want to go to the store right now, it's totally different. It's like, fuck you. And the other ones, like, hey, I got an idea, right? As opposed to being able to list things out, it's going to take nutmeg, it's going to take cinnamon, it's going to take sugar. So when I'm listing things out, these are the tones I keep
asking. But I, I, you know, that's another thing. You, you really. Anyways, I'm not going to go too much far than that. What do you do for hobbies man? Everything. No, no, no. But like, what do you do? What's 1 of the things that you just, like, enjoy? I know you can't long board what you loved, and that last wreck kind of fucked you up. Motorcycles, long boarding, snowboarding. OK. OK, I I really I loved archery, but I feel like I don't have the
great spot for it right now. Dude, right when we get we're going to get passes to Jake's Archery down the road. Oh yeah, there's one real close. Yeah, super close. So we're going to get passes to there. The other thing I. Want to get compound bows with the sights? Oh yeah, I want to learn. Those Emily's dad has that. He has this little goblin, he's like that tall, that big, with a target on his center.
He sets that out in his backyard, nothing behind it but a brick wall, and he shoots at that and he puts it in tiny little target like he is. He is accurate, yeah. And I mean. Holy shit if we could do that like that would be insane. Yeah, dude, totally like, but knowing that dude. OK, so last thing before we go into it, and this is something I really want you to think deeply
about for the rest of this week. When rectangles do not have their hobby and they're not doing it frequently and others don't respect their time, they become out of balance. And that's when you find that you feel down that feel unproductive. So and this that doctor I worked with over there at that place. Why can't the other thing is you guys are research whores. You love to research everything. You will research a product up and down.
That makes sense after our conversations about Beamers. Not and I'm just like puts gas cargoes, but you're like well. I do, yeah, I do. Crazy in depth research makes everything for him. That makes sense. So that it's like everything I buy, like our washer and dryer is like the top consumer reported rated ones. Because I had spent forever. Because I'm like, I've replaced this shit so many times. I've been here maybe 10 years. I've replaced fucking three times on my God damn washer.
At least 2 fucking dryers. You know how I bought? I bought our washers. Used half the time. No, no. That looks cool. Let's get that. Yeah, see, I'm like, I'm like, I don't. I hate paying for shit all the time and I hate when it breaks. So then I'm like, I want, I just want good stuff that lasts. Dude, that washer. I want good quality. The washer and dryer stuff have. We've had that since Max was 3. That's fantastic. Ten years and it's still. Going my mom's is a Maytag one
from when they built. Mine's a Maytag. They built the home on Grandview that is 20 years plus so it still works fantastic. That crazy dude like I'm. Like what in the world? But that's that's the thing though, man, like when you research and all those things like, oh dude, man, precious time is definitely precious time. And, and that's something that Pete used to do. He instilled into site Smash with all of the workers. There was a clock on the wall
and he had marked 2 spots. And he's like, if the big hand goes here to here, that is precious time. The only time you can take a personal call is in the hallway, out in the main hallway, not in the office. And dude, they got so much shit done. So much shit done. So you know what I would do is block out certain things and invite me on your calendar and market precious time. So I know that I shouldn't
disturb you. Now, the reason why you kept going, dude, no, your, your belief in relationships is that you don't give yourself to everyone. When you said that when you're like, I don't, I was smiling because I'm like, dude, you, you treat close relationships and that's it. You don't want to get to you're, you're very interesting of people and rightfully so. And a lot of things have happened in your life because of
that. And so you're really, really cautious, but you were, you've always been a cautious person. I still I still love and accept and treat everyone the same right as far as like they're the same equal person. I value them the same but like my relationship and my connection to certain people is deeper and so they. They get. They will always have priority on my time. But the thing. Is like I value them. But if if we value you more, we value the way that you like to be valued, it change.
But if I don't know how I like to be valued, I I do, how can I communicate that to other people? So one of the great things about this system is that I, I, I just tell people what I prefer. So when I tell people I'm like, hey, I have a tendency to talk too much. I literally say that in every networking meeting now and they go and I'll stop myself. I'm like hey am I talking too much? Because I'm now more self aware
of that. Yeah, well, if you understand how you work and navigate, because The thing is, honestly, there's things that I found in every shape that it was, you know, hey, here's this shape. Of course. Yeah, I can see some of me in that. Of course. Here's this shape. OK, Yeah, I can see some of me in that, you know. But again, it's always like, it's like every other test I take. Yeah. I mean, I it to me, it's like a horoscope. You're gonna feel this way. Don't do this today.
OK, Cool. That's great. Like, I won't because that makes sense. You know, people you know, that's probably a smart thing to do. So that's what I thought when I first had it and then as I started to go through it, it wasn't that way at all. It started to be able to look at like where are some of the things? So I'll, I'll just point out it just a couple of things real
quick. Where's mine? So I don't want it to be like where you're like, Oh yeah, you know, that's about me. But here's some of the things. So like, you ever see me to be a little bit of controlling of things? I can be controlling, right? Critical, competitive. I am very competitive. I'm blunt. I'm bossy sometimes, high expectations, dramatic, know it all. Complaining needs to be right. Judge mental, jealous, offended easily. Get that in your down negative.
States that's when I'm in a fierce state whenever I'm doing these things, you know I'm in a fierce state. So you you don't call it like what's your fear state? Just going dude, you OK right now? Take some perspective and I'll be like fuck and that's why I'll usually stop but I can get caught into. I realize that a lot of our a lot of our arguments and frustrations have come from fears.
Yeah, but the reason why is I don't understand you because I believe because you've taken it so many times, I was treating you as a thought that it was OK. That's why. Because not because I I read something, it's because I understand what octagons are like. And so there was no opposition. So I'm like, oh, I'm OK, we're
on the right page. And I just kept talking now, yeah, Lerner intelligence you value intelligence and experiences freedom using their talents, core desires, pursue all of their interest and learn all they can. Talents being good at everything core fear, failure, loss of time, undervalues, vulnerability, restrictions, emotions. Not like you don't, but I'll get to that. Weaknesses, selfishness, opinionated, needs, validation, appreciation, support for their interests. OK, that's huge.
So here's in a in a, in a clarity state, you're a high achiever, you're smart. That's very true. You're organized, very organized, motivated. Dude, Everyday you're like, I figured out how to get my whole day going. Strategic. You plan out your day Neat, proper, careful, wise, frugal. Well, yeah, good. With money you can be good. With friends you're awesome with friends, adventurous. Dude you get on long boards I'm like fucking psycho. Passionate, good at everything, good at everything.
Meaning you can learn things quickly and apply them. Now here's in a fear state. Attention seeking, self-centered, emotional, dramatic, Moody, materialistic, high maintenance, unrealistic, bad with budgets, angry, defensive, protective. So those when you start. Yeah, right. So when you're doing these things, like when you're going back and forth and you're just like, fuck, like when you're like, I'm pissed, but I don't
know why. So what I do to myself is I go, all right, Jess, what's your state are you in right now? And I, I, because I have a photographic memory, I go, oh, I'm doing this. And then what I do is I stop myself and I give myself a pause and I go, wait, is this because you can't control it or you're going to, are you going to lose something or are you going to be a failure? And when you said failure with Bennett, that's why I, I smiled again, because I'm like, oh, your core fear is failure.
No wonder why you look like the Nazis were coming at you and you ran out of bullets, because that to you, is worse than having to face the music. And that's why we're such a good pair on that because I just went, oh, yeah, dude, we hit a snag. It's going to be about an hour. And they're like, all right, we'll go get some pizza. Cool. See you later. Yeah, that worked out great because I was freaking the fuck out on the outside and the inside, so.
But you can see that when dramatic, Moody, materialistic, you become materialistic when you don't feel OK, you will buy things, You will do things even though you're I. Buy random shit that I don't need and and then usually that's when I like when I'm walking around or I have time because then I think about it and I'm like, I don't need this. So I put it back because I'm like, but I have that thing and I'm like, why am I doing this right now? I. Don't see you're doing something
right there. You're you're, you're deducing down exactly. Is this a fear or am I in a clarity state? So when you're in a clarity state, you just go over here and just saying, OK, you know what, you take stock of it every day going, what points of my day did I have clarity? And you start looking at it when the when you have ultimate clarity is when you're able to be in an argument and you realize that the other person needs something and you go fuck. And then you just start asking
questions. Hey, when I said this, did this make you feel like this? And they go, yes, oh, I just didn't understand. Yeah. And then it changes everything. So I'm going to share some because that just dude, your face, like I was like, oh, shit, dude, I hit it. What to do in a relationship with the rectangle? Rectangles are loyal,
responsible, caring people. In relationships they often are they they are often givers, but their love language is acts of service, so they often need physical a physical touch too. They show their love by getting things done for you. They struggle with words and expressing emotion. They don't enjoy conflict and would rather avoid it, but if you fight with them they will defend themselves. They can forgive and let things go fast though, especially with
a sincere apology. Rectangles are off are very logical and practical to that. That's why I was like fuck how come I didn't see that before. But sometimes are not very socially connected. Some rectangles are even on the autism spectrum. You're not. They crave being in relationships but can have an avoidant attachment style and needs their freedom too.
To make relationships with the rectangle work, you are going to have to give them lots of time on their own to feel independent, to do their own things. You will need to understand their need for their hobbies and not feel jealous of the time they spend there. You will need to be patient, listener and open to their opinions and ideas. This makes them feel valued. Now this is going to be crazy and that this is this is awesome because then you're going to be like fuck what not to do in a
relationship with the rectangle. Don't waste money. Do not. Don't be controlling or insist on things being your way. They will push back fucking and want their way and no one will win in a power struggle. Don't get offended when they speak their mind. Rectangles are quick to say what they think and this can offend people. Except octagons. We have extremely thick skin. Have they have it says have thick skin? I love how she just called out.
Don't mess up their systems or move their tools or things. They need their organization as it is, right? Don't be surprised when they would rather stay at home than go out. Don't push them to go out and party or social to events. If they don't feel up to it, make a deal or in strike a balance. If you're you are a social shape, don't push them to decide anything before they are ready. They are slow decision makers and must research and think it through before making a choice.
Don't be inconsiderate, dishonest, or disloyal. They would rather hear the truth, even if it might make them feel bad. Yeah, that's you, dude. Yeah, it even talks about how to raise them. Oh no, that was way more spot on on like almost every single thing than any of the others have been. So here's the crazy thing, you are actually compatible with with her. She's a cross. And what I would, I would suggest doing, 'cause this is
great, dude. So what you're, what you're experiencing right now is, is exactly what I experienced when Kim went through this with me. You were able to understand exactly where you start fitting in this world. And you go and fuck, fuck, fuck, oh, fuck. And So what you do? You go, oh, I got all this shit. What the fuck do I do with it? Well, one start being open with people about it. Hey Alec, you said this thing really fucking bothers me and here's why.
This is my bullshit. I just want you to know that I'm not mad at you. I'm just frustrated because it's not my way, but I'm working on it. My wife still like anytime I get a little upset, she goes ha ha, fucking caught you, you fucking liar. This doesn't work. And I just and I want to get mad and I want to fight back. And I'm like, isn't it interesting that when I'm displaying human traits, you all the sudden think that I got caught? Well, it's just 'cause you go, I never get mad anymore.
So that's. Probably all and and that's what they and so. She's like when I caught. You and I I I changed it and I say I rarely get mad but I'm able to self correct way faster I. That's what emotional intelligence is, I think is realizing and being able to recognize when we're in a fearful state and going, hey, how do I get back to a normal? Her new book just came out. It's she's got a bunch of copies
sent to my house. I'm gonna give you 1 and instead of reading it like I'm just going to absorb something because this is typically how people treat personality stuff. This is not personality stuff. It's all behavior and it's created. Kim's a smart fucking woman, dude. She knows things like, you know, one of the really, I mean, it's crazy. I just described your childhood and your adolescence into adulthood into your relationship. That was crazy, right? That was in two paragraphs.
This is the craziest one. Dude, this is what you must work on. They need to watch out for getting into getting into ego around their intelligence and not making others feel stupid. They tend to correct people if they say something wrong. Rectangles need to let people be wrong and do things wrong. Or they let or at least ask permission before they give advice or suggestions. I have that problem. Ask the person if they are open to a suggestion or just want to do it their own way.
They must make sure that they don't tell others what they think if it wasn't asked for. I really had to work on that with Emily because I've always been the try and fix it. I know you are, but I've noticed. It's like so hard to just. Do you know why you do that? Because. I want to help. I want to help fix those problems you. Care about them? Yeah. If I didn't, I wouldn't give a shit.
Dude, I'm that guy in the gym that will annoy somebody because I'll I'll see that they're doing something and I can help them and I'll go over and give him unsolicited advice. For rectangles. We give unsolicited advice non-stop. But the other thing is we know a lot of shit. We we have crazy memories, like when I talk to McClain. Memory. When I talk to McClain, McClain goes, oh, yeah, but he could describe it. And I'm like, cool, how far back can you go? And he goes, what do you mean?
I said, I can go back to four. I remember, I remember shitting in my pants and I had this underwear. It was striped turquoise, sky blue and an orange color and white. And they went across, this is the 80s. It's like 82 three and I shit my pants and I still remembered the feel because it wasn't a squish, it was a hard log and came out and it pushed my shorts like a tail. Man. And I remember I was in my parents room and we we only had this tiny little place on a 9th by BYU where we live.
Tiny little house. It's still there to this day. Yeah, really close to the Creamer. You could walk there. And I was so scared because I thought I knew my parents were gonna get mad at me. Yeah. I didn't even speak at that time. I didn't speak until I was 5. Like, full sentences. Yep. OK, full sentences. Yeah, delayed stuff though. Mm hmm. And dude, I, I. Selective mutism. No, no, I didn't have selective mutism. That was my daughter. Yeah. No, no, you just said you didn't
speak till 4:00. So I wonder if you. Had any I I spoke a mix of like Spanish and English. Just spotted. I but I understood everything but my parents, they could talk to me. I just couldn't speak. So I was slow to speaking. But it's, it's also the same with like my intelligence, because when I was in high school, I was a fucking idiot. Like I was I, I. Felt like I was too. I didn't apply myself. Oh no dude, I was bad. Like everybody thought I had special needs so I was in
special needs classes. Really. Yeah, for English and math. Yeah, dude, I didn't know how. To. I never would have guessed. No, no, no, no. But it was and and I just accepted that dude for like 12 years. That's who you were. Yeah, which is who I was. And then as things started to go right when they started to go through it, like I, I just felt like a, this is just my place. Remember that whole idea I talk about that kind of Kuosaki talks about, there's entrepreneurs and employees.
And it was the same thing where I was just like, well, I'm an employee, so when I got out of the Navy, yeah, my dreams were crushed. And I'm like, well, at least what I thought would be my dream, but that was crushed. And I feel like fucking melting. Sinking into the cage. Dude, it's just I wish I was lighter at that point. Fucking still 180 lbs, but I'm like in a 29 waist now. But anyway, you're fucking slim. Yeah, dude, I've lost a lot of
weight. I'm still I'm still pretty decent size, but no to go back to it dude, like fuck, where was I? I haven't been smoking. That's what the problem. Is no, but it's also probably almost gone, so you might need to load another bowl. Yeah, dude, I mean it's. But anyways, to digress and that's part of the issue with octagons is that we have a
tendency to ramble. And so what's really cool dude, is that because I know that I am self aware of myself, all you have to do is this Hey dude, you're kind of rambling for a little bit. And I said, Oh my bad. It it would be the. Sometimes I love the rambles. Oh, I do, because we get into really funny, weird shit. But I mean, but at the same time, there, there are times where I'm talking about something that makes that that
is completely ridiculous. And that's how you know that my mind, how it works, dude, it it is. And that's why I love cannons. Random and weird too. You just don't hear all of them. No, Emily does, because she's here sometimes. And then I'm like, I'll say something, she's like, what the fuck? And I'm like, welcome to the weird random shit that pops into Brandon's head like, 'cause she'll be like, you know, whatever. She'd be like, oh, you should,
we should talk more. OK, well, what do you want to talk about? I don't know what what what's going on in your mind? I don't know like this but just popped in like it's whatever random shit pops into my head at that second that's. So fucking funny. So one of the craziest things about 12 Shapes is that there's a compatibility. She did this woman, and she is a. Oh, it makes sense. Oh, dude. But it's so cool because you know what? So here's the problem.
OK, I love, I love the idea of the system, the concept that. It's just a tool. Again, it's just a tool. Yes, but how do you? The problem is that tool is available, but it's like going, hey, here's this tool. There's no real effective video or coach or person that's just there with it all the time. Because again, how many times have I taken different tests? And it wasn't until we had a conversation you're like, holy fuck, you're a rectangle. Like what? That's never been on the board.
You know why? Because. Because that you. Have to use it consciously. So how do you have? But who's going to know how to use that consciously and, and truly answer those without going wait, is this like what my mind's thinking? Is it like versus like your true self versus, you know, and, and having someone who it's different 'cause you know me versus like Kim has no idea who I am and maybe overtime because she's designed the system and that it's different.
It what? What typically happens? OK, so let me tell you what happens and I'm gonna get another hit of this. 'Cause I'm like, that would be my, my struggle is then it's a great system if, if they know their true shape and it makes sense to them. But if they have a shape that they think they are and they're telling people, hey, this is how I I navigate or work, but it's really not how they navigate or work. It doesn't really benefit them then.
No, it, it's not. I mean, the one thing is it's not 100% accurate as far as the test is concerned. And the reason why is because of human error. I, I will, I mean, I won't go into the science of axiology that it's backed on, but one of the things with with 12 shapes is that it's not a, it's not like a like a Tony Robbins type thing or some type of seance within the self help world that they will temple typically get into. What this does is it, it is a self-awareness tool.
So what you do is that you are constantly just go back and you read it everyday, read it random times, learn more and then and just be self reflective. What I do, because I'm I'm a very visual thinker, but the way I communicate is very auditory and I used to think that I was a visual communicator. Interesting, so you visualize it. I visualize it, but what I like coming to me is the words. But in your head you picture it. But I can create anything in my head. Yeah, 'cause you have a
fantastic imagination, right? A fantastic yeah, just comes. It's just how your mind, your creativity is like. But I need to feel your words. And so I'm a, I am a auditory kinesthetic, OK? You know all the stuff that we learned in NLP I created so you have more. Comprehend and feel the words to create that. No, it it what I 'cause. It has to pull you in well, you don't feel it. It's boring and dry. It's like reading a textbook. Exactly. Right, it's like sitting in class.
But if I had a teacher who was able to enunciate and be able to. Animate it and they bring you in or like. Sucked in, yeah. 'Cause it's like it's engaging and that's what you want. You don't want like. But with that said though, yeah, even when you that's my primary audit. And. Then kinesthetic. Now for other people, they may be a more of an audio digital or a a visual. So olfactory would be the smell if I use words like I was like something smells off.
Like if if I said that word and you're a very olfactory communicator, like scents really are strong with you, then I know that certain scents can repel you. But if I'm a gustatory person, it's not necessarily what I eat if going like, yeah, that's not my taste. Oh, that's sour. If I hear those sayings that I know that they're go through that if I heard that with that person for persuasion purposes, I'm going to be like, dude, I'm going to get some treats over there.
Would you like some sour kids? And they'd be like, dude, I love sour kids. It's those things, even treats, even foods based off of the words that you're using, I can pinpoint what you like. And so I now start to work towards that. Now I have to turn this on. I don't do it all the time or I'd be manipulating the fuck out of everybody all the time. I actually created an assessment for this. I'll give it to you. It's really cool. On if you're manipulating people
or not. Know how to know which kind of communicator you are. And then I also have another system that I, I heard Andrew Bosamante or something like that. He's ACIA guy. He talked about rice. These are the four main motivators that humans go after. Yeah, I love rice. And it's reward in reward, ideology, coercion and ego.
So there are 4 main motivators that we have as individuals, as humans that motivate us. The reason why I was so interested is that Andrew buses, I'm going to fucking Butcher's last name. But anyways, he talks about that, that that's what the CIA operatives use in order to be able to get an asset. So they understand which one is your primary motivator. And then they press on it to get to the three different types of person you are. You're public, you're private, and you're and your.
No, it's, it's your public, your private and your secret life. Yeah, your secret life is. Who you are at home, who you are at like with your family and then who you are on like your inside Yes yeah, 2 uses. Self, this is you one on on Incognito. Mode, right? Yep, when nobody comes around, this is what your Incognito browser? This is what private browsing
mode you're. Putting a neck around, you're putting something around your neck, you're choking your ball yourself, you know, 'cause this is how you get off. But The thing is, it's like when you're able to use, dude, I was joking. I'm not going to do it. I mean, I go too far sometimes. But one of the the craziest
things, dude, is that. That's why I'm so passionate about understanding this, because once I understand the behaviors of the individual, I understand what reward system is more towards them and what communication style they are. Well, you just understand them and you understand how to talk to them because that's how they like to be talked to.
And you can turn anybody into your friend or you can teach them what to do. That's where I started when I was, that's why I was so successful over there at Rising Health because I was teaching themselves like there's no closing line that's going to get you the win. So all I was start doing with them, I said, there's two lines that you're going to do and I've used. And that's what would you like me to do next? Or if you make a connection going, how do you think we
should? How do you think we should do? Yeah. How do you think we should move forward? What do you think we should do? Oh no, I say. What do you think we should do next? Because I never say forward because that's a business speak. So what do you think we should do next? Kind of like, you know, we jump to this rock. How do we jump to this rock? And they go, we'll just fucking jump there. OK, cool. And that's usually when clients, this is what I was able. That's why I was able to get
these random ass clients. And that that was the line that always helped them. And they would say, oh, well, I want you to build me a proposal. It needs to be this, this, this. And then when they would come back with an objection in price, they'd go 10 thousands too much a month, Jess, I can't pay that one. What about 10,000 is really difficult for you to be able to go behind?
Oh, my budgets don't get there. OK, So you're more concerned that you won't have operational budgets to be able to keep going for the rest of the year. OK, so 10,000 is not going to work. What would work? He goes, not that. So I'm like, OK, and I knew a number where I wanted to be. And I'm like, OK, if I did this, this, this, I'm going to say it's this. Would you like me to send an invoice? That's all I would say. And the guy said, yeah, yeah,
I'll go with that. So I went from 10,000 for a project down to 5000. I was expecting 3. But you were happy getting five? Yeah. But the way that I was able to go about it is that I had to place it as they were in control the entire time. If they make the decision, I don't have to. Well, every buyer wants to feel like they're in control. But they are all, but they don't get that opportunity. It's always at the end where they feel kind of gross. Yeah, going. I just got swindled.
Oh yeah. How many times have you like bought something or gone to do it? And then it's like I just. Well, it's the same thing like on communication, like we, we tend to trust things that we see right away or if we hear something, we react to it. And I'm human, even though I know all this shit, I still do that. Like we had a fight a while ago It, it lasted a whole 10 minutes and then it was done.
That's another the thing that both of our shapes are we're super forgiving people like you could wrong me badly and I will let it go. It's well, I've had that happen. There's friends that I brought back into life after like a very sincere, realistic apology because prior to that he had sent a apology and I was like, fuck that. That's not an apology, isn't that? Funny what I read to you, that apologies are accepted only if they're sincere. That's exactly what she wrote.
Well, it was like being truthful and honest is really important. And I was sitting with my dad yesterday and he was like, you know, it was really interesting raising Brandon. He would never lie. He would always go. He wouldn't tell you. He might not tell you something, but he would never lie. And I was like, I hate lying, I hate lying, I don't. I would much rather tell someone something than just fucking lie about. It you don't why? Because you don't give
connection to anybody buddy. You give it sparingly. Why would you lie to ruin that subconsciously you won't do it dude. It's. When everyone who is in my circle like, Yep, they are, they are like in there and they know that every single one of them knows I love them and I would do whatever for them. See that? I mean, it makes more sense dude. Like and and it's. But it's not hard to get in there. I feel like it's not hard for me to like connect with someone.
No, no, no, that's not that. And if they're. Real in that like I. But you're right. I there's very few who know Brandon. Yeah. Yeah, and that makes sense. And that's that's why, you know, I value your friendship above of others because I know without a doubt you will not burn me. You will help me no matter what. If I asked you for something and you had the ability to, no doubt. And I would always do that for you.
That's part of my nature. You know the crazy thing, the logical side makes sense on the religion side too. It totally does. And for me it makes total sense because. It's emotional side. It's very much what? That's why our good friend who left, that's why he's emotional still. Makes sense because even you know I talk about it, religion is based on feeling and emotion is feeling and so it makes 100% sense that there would be feeling based things all around.
That so the best way to approach it, man, and just knowing that about you and this is beautiful, dude. What I love about it is that now I don't look at it as you're trying to prove to me that there is no God or anything like that. No, you're just no knowledge of it. But that's exactly what because you have faith in what you can see, touch and feel, and that's totally understand and and here right away as. Or research, If I can research and find proof around something that's great.
But it's the feeling. And I'm like, I can't, I can't base those on feelings. And I'm like, that's. What's beautiful about you? I love that people. Can because I see there's people, there's value for them like like you, my mom, like I see people who gain so much immense value from it, but. But did that's the thing too is and and this I mean, let's let's just be honest with it, right?
You know, way that you knew a lot of and a lot of people that you grew up around were probably in very similar families. You The term brainwash is very very upsetting to you and conformity. Do what we tell you to do, not having the freedom to explore what you think. Yeah, well, because it's always the freedom. It's it's I like we, we live in America. It's supposed to be the freedom. And then it's even here in the country. I'm very frustrated with the
freedoms that are stripped away. But it's like, OK, well, none of this is constitutional. Half this shit shouldn't be like we should. Have these things going on for a long. Time. And so, yeah, for me, freedom is huge and I am really frustrated around those types of things, but. But no, I'm talking like freedom like on this. Like here's freedom for you, living off the grid, having a community out in the middle of nowhere, producing all your own stuff. Me, I would like to be in the
city. I like to talk to people. I've always interacted with everybody around me. And so it's like it, it's so cool because dude, like we really do like we need to go. OK, so one, we're making a a pact now everybody gets to hear it. We're going camping. We're going camping together as families and the reason why is because I want to learn those things that what you appreciate so much. I know why you love nature so much. I mean, it's not that I don't appreciate it.
It just doesn't come to my mind. It's not a Zen full place. My Zen is Spotify and a punching bag. That's my place. My Zen was also motorcycle. Oh dude curving through that? But that hasn't. We have to get you a motorcycle this summer. You have to have one. Oh yeah, and the. That's why like longboarding was hard because when I, that was my, that was my therapy cause motorcycle riding for me was like therapy. And then when I didn't have that
anymore, that was crazy hard. So longboarding me came this like, all right, well, this is what I'll do because I've been doing it for 20 years and it's still this enjoyment of like a flow. And so when I fucked up my knee and I couldn't board, then it was like, what the hell do I do? I can't really like and I don't like just walking. I don't want to just go on a walk around the neighborhood. I'd go hike in nature. Like fuck yeah, I love walking
in nature. But like walking around a neighborhood, What am I going to see? Is sidewalk someone's house like a mailbox? I don't give a but. For me though, like when you describe that, that's heaven to me because when I go for a walk, I think and I get all the because, you know, my brain is just constantly moving when I'm moving. That's why I love going to work out because I'm moving to the
point where my brain slows down. That's why cannabis is So, you know, as much like my wife had asked me, she's just like, look, you're smoking like a lot and I'm kind of concerned and she's not, it's not without merit, dude. Like I'm, it gets a little sore in my upper lungs and I'm like, yeah, I got to take a break off of the off of the puff and it's so hard to get away from it. So I'm, I'm, I'm moving away from flour as much, not all the time, but still. Mm hmm. Flour first.
But it, it helps my brain to slow down so that I can think because how the way I see your ideas, dude. And this just it because I'm such a visual person. Do you remember the Matrix where he's like, we need guns and then all of a sudden these aisles and shit and they're all organized based on caliber and all that? That's you, dude. You're that gun rack. You just like fuck this is me
dude like. I just get shit done and then all of a sudden it's like everything unfolds and I'm like, Oh yeah, no, that we can do this. What? What? What are we doing, Brandon? OK, well, we need to know where we're at. What's the place that we're attacking? Does anybody know anything about it? What year was it built at? Hey, somebody pull up some schematics of that one. Me. So where do you want me to go
and how many people have to die? Alright, and then you're and I run off even thinking about insurgency. Dude, this is. Like like I would run off. And you're just gone. Kill everybody like walking through. And stuff. Dead bodies everywhere. Like oh shit, I got to speed up. He's like already killed everyone. I know, and even here. He's like Gattaca. Gattaca. Yeah, everybody that come on in, you know, and then you're just like, what the fuck?
And it's just like, but that makes can you see why certain things are attracted to me as they wouldn't be attracted to you. So here's the cool thing about it. Once you understand other people's shapes, you start being able to find that you judge less about them because they know like certain individuals, no colors actually, but just certain types of individuals used to infuriate me. Infuriate me? Why? Because I had a negative interaction with one, and then I had a second and a third, and
I'm like, what the? That's not cool. Yeah. So then I started to associate. Generalization. Well, then I started to associate a bias with them. Yeah. Everybody who is like that is going to act this way. Yeah. And, And it's so funny because people are probably, dude, he's thinking about colored people. He's thinking about Hispanics and, and lesbians, you know, because they're all angry people and black people. No, look, I'll be honest with you.
It was morbidly obese people, morbidly obese people. Like I can get along with any denomination, any race, creed, but if you were over £400, I don't want to talk to you because I had met nothing but women who are that size and they were fucking mean. They were vicious. And the way I took it at the time, because this is what I didn't understand about myself, is that they were attacking me as a person. So it's like, it's like German
shepherds. I'm still skittish around them to this day because a German shepherd almost killed me as a child. Jesus. And if it wouldn't have been for me just instinctively lifting my arm up, I wouldn't be here today. Addie has that same thing about a year. God was it a year or two after she got bit in the face by a dog? She was down in Texas taking birthday invitations to friends houses and a big Doberman
Pitbull mix jumped the fence. Holy shit, jumped the fence and bit her, knocked her down and bit her and she's alive because her arm got pinned on her side and so it didn't get her organs and stuff. That's why she's alive. Like it's insane just. But I can understand the fear. So Dober, not Dobermans, German shepherds. German Shepherds give you this now? Yeah, but there's still like this back of your mind apprehension. I'm sure that's like
subconscious. And that's some of the things that understanding, yeah, your subconscious, because you're also talking about neural pathways and why, you know, medications such as ketamine are so effective for these ones. Because when that happens, it's almost like there's a stop. Something so traumatic happened in the brain. This is just the basic way, this is not actually how it works, but I'm I'm explaining it to A5. Level, yeah, you can go research
it if you want. But it's like a traffic jam all the sudden. So at that moment you notice how there are certain memories that like flashbacks and stuff like that. What can happen is that that that horrible traumatic event. And this can be emotional, physical, whatever, right? Jesus Christ. That was loud. That was. Massively loud it. Almost sounded like a fart. Yeah, I was. Like holy cow. But I was kind of throw it off base. Fucking hell, fucking hell, the guy fucked me.
Forget, I don't know. Anyways, to go past all that, this is This is why I'm so passionate about those things, dude. And it, it's just and I want to share it with everybody, dude. Like literally because I got, I got certified as a coach in it because it transformed me. And I'm, I'm building out a podcast with the woman who created this one. So that's cool. We get it. We'll talk a lot about. These things on there, Do you have a link yet?
No, no, no, I'm gonna I, I need your help on that to get this all set up 'cause I am. Do that after this because your episode on Happier Headspace comes out and I don't have a link to put in there for you. Oh, so we should get it so I can at least throw a Lincoln and then as you put in that, it will
be there? OK, yeah, but you know, the the thing that's so great about it is that the reason why I get so passionate, dude, is because I learned so much about myself, about why I perceive things the way I do to take it back. And and why it makes sense why I just said that when we had our argument, I was believing that you were trying to tell me to do something, but you weren't. You were trying to tell me, well, what research backs it up because you value the data and I
value the data too. But at the moment I became emotional. I let it get the hold of me. And you didn't understand why I was getting upset. And then you got upset because you don't wrong me. So you know how it was like, you won't win in that power struggle. You'll want to fight forever. Right. Well, and and it's not that's what I'm fighting, I. Hate it, I really do. I enjoy. I enjoy a good confrontation.
One thing that Emily said recently that kind of I didn't think I did, she was like, you know, you don't always do this, but one thing I really like about you as a partner is you have the ability to take a step back. Because you do not like conflict at all, which is so good. Argument like take a step back and I was like, I don't always feel like I do, but it's good that sometimes you feel like I do. So you do so this is really funny. We had an argument on the phone.
We we have arguments all the time, but not all the time. I would say like twice a year. We have two arguments a year. We're only warranted up to that one. If there's a third one, we have to put in a request. Yeah, and then we have to go to couples therapy to like, you know, and then there's letters and stuff. Well, I'm 40. Five now, so I'm going to have to see a proctologist for one of those colonoscopies. You know, it's cool Amazon has these cameras.
I'll just buy one and we'll do it at home. That's that's love from that guy. No, you know what I'm going to have to say, Brandon. You know, normally I wouldn't have to say this, but no, Sir, please stay away from my butt hole. But but dude, what's what's so cool that I know that now because when we were having this argument, it started to get elevated and my voice started to get elevated and Brandon has a shut off mechanism. It's a fail safe.
He will dis so he will disconnect, which is awesome when you're able to disconnect and get a view of what's going on. And he has a great ability of doing that because he would rather go wait a minute, am I being pissed off because I need to be pissed off or I don't want to be pissed off right now? I get the fuck away from this and it's usually the latter. I hate being angry, like I hate that energy. Yeah, totally. And but you, you just don't. You don't like the energy from
anybody. So it's hard. Yeah. So we hung up on me. Now, old Jesse, you don't hang out, you don't walk away from me. We're fucking figuring this shit out. And it was great because when he hung up on me, I'm all that motherfucker. And then I was about to call him back and I laughed and I go, wait a minute, why are you mad? And that's what this has done for me. So I go, why are you mad? I'm like, what fear state? You think you need to be right. You don't need to be right, Jesse.
OK, but we had. A discussion because you also thought I was coming from a different perspective and you explained where your fear was coming from. I did, I did, but. And then I explained what was different and how it was perceived versus where I was coming from. And then we we got on the same page and understood. Instantly. Yeah. And it was like, hey, OK, we both understand. We see where this is and now it makes sense. Like we. See, but old me wouldn't have been able to do that.
Old me would have responded very emotionally and would have been angry, not talked to you for a day. And when I talked to you saying we're going to fucking and fight this out until it's done. And the reason why is I grew up in a very conflicting childhood. All throughout I've known nothing but conflict. It sounds like I grew up in
Beirut, but I didn't. It's just the way that my mind as a child all the way to my adulthood, if you can call it that, all the way from there, that I've had this constant need to be able to feel like there's going to be a conflict and I need to be ready to fight. See, I was always small, and I grew up with Curtis and my dad. So Curtis got thrown around, hit whatever, because he was argumentative. And so I learned that fighting because I'm small got your ass
beat. Yeah. And you didn't want to do. That, and that wasn't great. So what? What good did fighting really do? Yes, I will stand up for myself and the people I love, but most of the time is it needed to have a fight like I I won't, you know? But again, that goes towards behaviors and not necessarily personalities. I don't. I've learned over the last little while that personalities are surface level I triggers or signs of who you are.
But personalities change a lot. Behaviors can become ingrained because it's. Habits and stuff that we do all the time. Or it's a traumatic event that happened to you that shifted your approach, such as your daughter being bit. It's changed her approach on a lot of things. And so she's different ever since that event. Oh, yeah. Well, you think every single thing that we do in life changes, you know, how it effects?
So it's like, you know, yesterday's events will probably affect something that I do today, you know, and same with something that I do today will probably affect something that I do tomorrow because of an effect that it had. And it's like, it's really interesting because if we had something, you know, it was like Addie. Addie was at school and she was like, oh, this, Oh no, she has a, we go to my mom's house on Sundays for dinner sometimes.
She has these little cousins who are Addie's almost 13. She's got cousins who are like 8 years old and they're boys and they're Dicks. They're like, she's like, oh, they smacked me or they threw something at me. I'm like, so hit him back, push him down. She's like, but they'll tell their dad and I'm like, uh huh. And you know who I am? You come tell me and I will talk to their parents because they know that you won't do it unless their kid did it first. And their kid does it every
week. And that's the only reason why it's happening because you're trying to get it to stop. Like, you're not doing it intentionally. You're not, you know, hurting them. You're just telling them to stop. You're pushing them back. You're doing this. And I was like, in the animal world, if a dog bites another dog, they'll bite them back. They're not going to go, oh, here, do it again. I'm sorry, let me turn over. No, they learn this is not acceptable.
This is the boundary that I have set. Well, but if we don't set boundaries, people walk all over that. Well, yeah, but I mean, it's even that it's it's allowing these other people to know that like, you know it in those situations. You know, if it if it was like say this happened, this is like a a random situation. Brand and I are walking down the street, some unsavory people are coming, they're talking shit and they want to hurt us. First thing I'm going to tell
Brandon, go get the cops. I'll be here. I'll deal with it. Because I'm more I, I am geared towards that. I'm more equipped for that. But The thing is too is that what's great part is that in that same scenario, Brandon would be like, dude, this isn't worth it. Let's just get out of here and like, yeah, you're right. Yeah, like, hey guys. What's the logical thing? Right? You're obviously. Yeah, I or I'd be like, hey, what the hell, 'cause you it's emotional.
It's like and like I again, confrontation. Like I went to a rave and there was this guy and I said, I said something, I don't even remember what it was nothing. And the guy was black and he instantly snapped and gets mad, gets in my face on a K brand. I was like, hey man, what's what's going on? What? Was he mad about? He thought it was a racist thing. I don't know what it was on a K man. I was like, listen, you are the same as me, I'm the same as you. There's no difference here.
Even race, dude, like even race has been able to understand why people feel that way. It's not a victim mentality. Something happened to them where they feel triggered and it's scary to I, I feel for that. Like, you know, because you know, as white as I have. Yeah, at the end I was like, hey man, like. Because you're like that though, dude, that's what. That was it and it was so this I, I met this guy, he's Polynesian.
He's a big old Poly guy and and he's always like, I went and met a couple of his friends over to tattoo parlor and that first time I met him and that I talked to him for maybe 10 minutes and then and then I left and I gave him all hugs first time I met him. But that's just that's. That's. Who I am and. And he was like, oh see, it's it's just the energy like it's it's how he is. But that's like I why bring negativity? Why bring anger if I don't have to? Like I don't like existing in
that. I went through divorce. I've lived in anger and anxiety and depression for fucking months. And then that's kind of something that I, I want you to kind of reflect on too, man, is that these aren't circumstances that are happening to you. It's it's what you're doing to react to them because it's the same like why? I understand why you've had such shitty experience with cops. Even that they. Try to be so polite to all of them because of it.
Well, dude, no, I mean, what we, what we perceive as polite could not be. It could be impolite to others. And so a lot of it deals with tonality. Tonality is huge in in being able to convey something to somebody so they can go, Oh, OK, I know where this is coming from, but it makes so much sense because dude, like you're like, I've been arrested, which time I've been in jail, but I'm, I'm like, I've been in handcuffs, but I've always been let go.
I've never been divorced. I've I mean, you know, like I, I, I've had AI mean I've been very blessed. I have a great marriage. I have a had a wonderful. I've been with my wife for 21 years. It's a long ass time but it feels like a short amount of time but again, like. No, I mean, that's an accomplishment. That's that's fantastic. But. And on the other side, it's my constant need for validation. That's what I know that. And it sounds like a needy thing.
But when I say that, and then going back to that, to the that horrible interaction where that guy was like, oh, he thought it was racist. It's this interaction that you've learned and that you're just like, OK, everybody's out to get me. And what was so awesome is that your energy just surpassed that. It's like that guy walking through that neighborhood in Illinois with a joint and he got it with in one of the most violent neighborhoods I'm sure. I would do. People are angry.
I'd like hey man. Want to smoke the South like? Tell me what's what's going on? Like I'm sorry. Tell me, why are you frustrated? There's some good kush. Like let's smoke about this Cushman. Honestly, at the end of the day, you'll enjoy it. That's my solution. I'm frustrated, I'm emotional, I'm stressed. OK, well why the fuck am I all this way? I need to go smoke about it and see why I'm like this. Because this isn't normal for me. This isn't a normal state to go I'm like this. Well why?
What the fuck is wrong with you bro? Simmer down, go smoke something. And then I sit back and like oh man, I know seen. That this. Really is what is and I'm like OK. That's so funny dude. Like, but it's introspection. Cannabis is given that like, time to introspect and sit back and go like, hey. That's why. Dude you need to get really fucking high and read this. Oh I will multiple. I will have to. Hear Here's something else, dude.
K So the best careers for you are researchers, professors, technical expert, web designers or coders, accounting, engineering, data analysts, science or math careers. Jobs where they can continue to learn and have fresh challenges. Sounds terrible. I'd rather smoke pot for a living, educate people about it, talk about it, and, you know, do stuff like that. Researcher professors continue to learn along the way on data and you know, jobs keep my interest. Yeah, dude, all of that just
makes complete sense. Look that's they like to work. That requires independence, efficiency, and mechanical abilities. That's why you're good at like electrician shit. They are not good in positions where empathy, caring, emotional connection, flexibility, fast decision making, or teamwork are required. You're good to work in a team, but you're great to that one. The emotional connection, dude. Like I would never put you in a customer service role ever. And the reason why is because it
goes against your nature. It's not that you're a bad person, it's just like, I don't want to fucking do that. Like the worst job for Brandon to have is customer service. Which is hilarious because almost every job that I have done has been customer facing customer. That's why I think now here's another phenomenon that happens with shapes. What you wear was a child can change, will change based upon circumstances. So you're divorced. I remember after you're
divorced, you completely changed. 100%. So that's what happened. That was your trigger point, and then all the sudden all these other things mattered. Yeah, it went from like, I was a dad and I love being a dad and I love playing with my kids and stuff. But like the time and the value, things changed. Like, really? Yeah, makes sense, doesn't it? That makes so much sense because before it was. Very different. Beamers and all sorts. Of stuff very materialistic. Very.
You see that you were. But I wasn't in a in a good state either. You. Were in a clarity state. So so dude, that is a fantastic thing that I, I and, and realizing these things, dude, it's and this is the hard part because I don't like trying to come off as a know it all. I, it's just cool because it's like, it's like putting on my glasses and seeing the world differently because everybody else sees it differently.
But when I put those on and I can be selfless and I go, wait a minute, they may be acting certain way. So when you started saying things and I was like, oh, you're a rectangle and you're like, Nah. And then I start telling you that shit and you're like, oh fuck. Yeah, that's a lot of crazy. No, that's way more spot on because like the circle and stuff there's, but you said there's similarities in all of
them, but. Because you love people, you want to love people, but you only want to love people that you trust. Yeah, makes sense. Like, well, I I love that everyone is a human, but I don't. Like to let them into like my emotional exchange with Brandon. That requires trust. A lot of trust and it's a trust and verify again, research, right. That's why the concept of marriage to you is null and vilified. Vilified because it's like that contractual agreement is
bullshit and here's why. And you would list out all the things as I'm like, no, I'm fine with that. I'm married to my wife and I love that and I love the symbology of that. And I would never break that trust, but because that's how I value it and other people are. And you had a horrible experience your first marriage. And. Yeah, it's not that it would turn you off. It's just like logically going. I mean, after that, yeah. It was like, I think one of the
biggest things was having kids. And I was like, I I will never have another kid with another person because the heartache and the pain and that of like having them move across the country or not seeing them all the time, Like I would never want to put, I would never want to go through that again or put another kid through that again. And I wouldn't do that again. And I tell you, man, I mean, I've always respected that, but I know more now about you today than I have known in the last 10
years. That's crazy. That's crazy, dude. Like you think about it, because now understanding that about you, I know that there are certain things like if I say I'm going to be there at a certain time, I better let you know well ahead of time that I'm going to be late. Yeah, I love that because if it otherwise it's like it, That is probably one of my biggest pet
peeves. But see, The thing is, you won't tell people, you won't tell them what to do because you just assuming that the weight of the issue should be enough. Often, Yeah, yeah. So what's really cool is that you'll be able to understand it, but the real good part about it is just saying, hey, look, I value you punctuality a lot. I'm setting it for this time. If you don't show up, it's going
to piss me off. It's just knowing, you know, 'cause I'm like, if I know that it's at a different time, hey, I'm going to be late. That's totally fine. He's going to be late. It's going to be later. Like, but it's when it's planned and I'm like, fuck, all right, well now it's when's he going to show up? And then I'm like, fuck, I can't beat these other things.
Like 'cause I get distracted or I'm into something else or I had a phone call or so here's what I can do now, what I can do, because this is what I can control. What I can control is knowing that about you. I have to be more aware of any time that we spend together when it's something that we do like this. If it's something like that, if it's to chill, that's totally different. Chillings, whatever. Yeah. But when it's this, I understand
that. And the great part is that you can understand with me saying, hey, Jess, I know you have a tendency to kind of get lost in things. Do you have anything else going on today? But I can ask you and we can communicate that and we understand. And when you say that to me, I go, oh, Jesse, remember this is now a target. And so I have to assimilate it with something that I am going after. That's a goal and a strategy because I'm so I'm so competitive that I have to turn
it into a positive. So I go, I'm going to be competitive on doing the thing that you like. So I know what you're doing and what you value. And if I know what you value, then I know that my interactions are going to be so much easier and that we are going to get so much more out of an interaction. And that's why when Kim, dude, she has, she's an expert on relationship. She is one of the best experts I have ever met in relationships because she doesn't come up with this hokey shit.
She just goes, you're different and they're different. You want to do couples therapy, great. We do it individually. You guys don't get to sit in the same room and bitch and back. And what they do, she gives them both assignments, then they go, and then they both come back individually and report. On their assignments and that, yeah. Dude, it was cool. I met a couple 20 years ago, They came to Kim. They still practice the exact same thing. They were on the verge of divorce.
And that's what's really great about it. It's insightful, it's fun, but more on the sense dude. It's a cheat code for talking to people. If you can figure out what your shape is so we'll put a link below. Yeah, go to talkshapes.com. Pick me as your coach so you don't get the e-mail campaign. Or if you get an e-mail from him, message him back if you have questions and go, hey, is this my shape?
Because I mean kind of like we found out today I might not be a. Yeah, just the the best way to be able to take that test is to take it like you're in Incognito mode looking at, you know what? It was hard though. I tried to. I tried to Incognito it and go like, how would I like? Who was really Brandon? And then that's the cool part is that if you don't feel like that, get somebody who's the closest to you and saying, hey, would you take this quiz? It's about me and I want you to
see like. Do you notice these behaviours? Oh, and see if it does anything different it would show up that's. Because I've learned, I mean, I became fanatical about it, like you came about the tax stuff and I learned this so fast. It scared the shit out of Kim because I'm like, oh, what do you mean like this? Then this, this is and she's just like, yeah, you're an Octagon. Like she has me down.
And so it's, it's a really, dude, it's just awesome being that self aware and knowing that why I get upset and it's so awesome. You know, The thing is, I just kept going. I'm like, if Brandon's taking it multiple times. And I guess that's what it is because Brandon's one of the almost honest people I know. But The thing is it's it's harder to be honest with ourselves, so there is a reason why.
Like I think it is like you try to be honest, but you don't like we know we don't know truly sometimes our driving factors we know because we don't analyze and look at well, what was my driving fear or that behind it? And you know, so or maybe the book, maybe the book is a great way to do it because reading through each shape, you might be able to actually go this shape. Actually I can see way more within.
Well, and then it's, it's the the one sheeter, the the crazy thing, like if you get crazy like you're just like, I can't make any of this shit work. They have guides, coaches that you can be able to work with that will help you through that process. It's really cool. I've I've gone through the other course on, on how to implement all of the like deep steps, almost like one-on-one therapy type stuff. OK. And it's profound. It's really profound.
I realized a lot of traumas from my childhood just in the training sessions. I was like. Fuck crazy and. And it was just amazing when you, when you listen to her, oh dude, it's super insightful. But you know what? You guys can get all the information about 12 shapes on the 12 shapes she Kim has. Yeah, I mean if. Jesse, you'll have a a show coming out soon so we'll. Yeah, we'll have the link in there. We'll get that built up today. But anyways. TuneIn next week.
Yeah, make sure to have some greens.